Okay, first of all. I want to apologize immensely for the wait. Unforeseen events took place in my life putting a major stopper on my updating. I am really sorry. Other than that when I actually got about to typing this chapter my computer decided to have a huge spaz-attack and erased everything. Alright now that I’m done bitching I hope you enjoy this next, and last chapter of Bane of My Existence. *hide from stones flying form every direction*

Two weeks had gone by since Brian had accepted the New York internship for the Ryder Advertising Agency. In that time he had met with said man and pin pointed a time for when he would be expected to be in the city. He would start a week from now and his flight was in the morning. This gave him enough time to get fully registered and transferred to NYU, find an apartment and get settled. The last two weeks had been hectic. First he called Jennifer and told her of the plan, she had informed him that Mrs. Hobbes had offered to pick Justin up and keep him with Chris until she found a replacement for Brian. He didn’t like the sound of Sunshine hanging around Chris but forced himself not to think about it.

Next he told Lindsay in order to give her enough time to find a roommate. Melanie jumped at the chance to move in and after many tears from Lindsay, she congratulated him and wished him good look. Even Melanie shook his hand and wished him the same but Brian suspected that she was only too happy to get him out of her life.

Michael was next. Six hours, 10 beers and God only knows how many tears later he finally gave Brian his blessing, but could not promise that his mother would do the same. He gave his best friend his Gremlin, knowing that he desperately needed a car. Michael argued and said that he should give him some money, Brian declined telling the man that he wouldn’t be able to get much for the hunk of junk if he sold it anyway. He called Debbie immediately afterward and told her the news. She was torn between “You little asshole!” and “Oh congratulations baby!” Brian found it quite amusing but wouldn’t let it show. His surrogate mother insisted that they have a family dinner in order to tell everyone else, then a goodbye party before he left. He had no choice but to agree. Emmett cried and Ted almost cheered toughing a little “goodbye” party himself. Vic wished him the best of luck and promised to send him plenty of “Chocolate Chocolate Chip” cake. Brian didn’t want to think of how many calories were in that, but didn’t argue with the man.

They all went to Babylon afterward and danced and fucked the night away.

And even after all that, Brian couldn’t help but see tearful baby blue eyes staring up at him, shining with hurt and betrayal. ***************************************************************************************

Brian groaned as he moved his second box of crap he probably didn’t need, but couldn’t let go of either.

He stuffed old tee shirts and mixed tapes into the box. His old teddy bear, which no one would even know that he still had, and various composition notebooks he had used as journals when he was younger went into the box as well. He looked around his now empty bedroom and sighed. He turned and walked out into the living room, looking around for anything he might have missed. He stopped when he saw a sketch book on the counter. He walked towards it and stopped. There was a note on top. He read it aloud quietly.

“Hey Brian, you were packing and I didn’t want to interrupt you. I found this outside our door in the hallway; it’s got your name on it. I’ll be back later tonight. Lindsay.” he read and frowned. He looked down at the book he recognized as Justin’s with his own name on the cover. It was in Jennifer’s handwriting.

Brian opened it to the first page, seeing an even longer note written inside by Justin’s mother. He sat down on the bar stool and read quietly.

Dear Brian, I know you what you are doing is for the best, for you and Justin. However I still can’t help but shake the guilt that I pushed you into it. You have been the best thing for Justin in a very long time and I am eternally grateful for being able to bring a genuinely happy smile to his face. You’ve been like the older brother he’s never had and it saddens me that he’ll be losing a truly wonderful friend. Although I believe that you and he should stay away from each other at this time, before something horrible happens, I don’t want you to forget about my boy completely. A part of me hopes that Justin will forget about you and move on; I do not believe that will happen. He will move on yes, but he will never forget about you. After seeing the contents of this book I’m sure of that. I don’t expect anything from you Brian, you can throw this away for all I care and a part of me hopes that you will.

I’ll make sure Justin does not try to contact you, and please don’t try to contact him.

Congratulations again,

Jennifer.

Brian shook his head. He didn’t even want to think of what she meant by ‘before something horrible happens.’ He sighed and turned the page of the book. He saw a very shaky looking sketch of himself staring back at him. Brian gasped. For his age Justin seemed to have a very good grasp on human anatomy. He turned the page again and found his name written over and over, filling up the page. Some were in bubbled letters while some were in cursive. Others were colored in while some were plain. Brian flipped through the book and found that nearly every page was full, and most were dedicated to him.

He closed the book and placed in on the counter. He rubbed his eyes. Shaking his head he stood up, grabbing his keys and wallet he headed out the door. He jogged down to his ca, which would soon become Michael’s car, and climbed in. He started the engine and started off towards Jennifer’s condo. He needed to talk to his Sunshine one last time… he had to make things right.

~~~~~

Thirty minutes later Brian pulled up to the lit up condo and pulled up next to the curb. He got out of the car and jogged to the door. He took a deep breath before knocking. Soon Jennifer opened the door and her eyes widened at Brian.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I… I wanted to say goodbye to Justin.” he said, trying not to buckle under the woman’s intense gaze.

“I thought you had already done that…”

“Not properly.” he answered back. Jennifer sighed.

“Brian…” she started, but he cut her off.

“Please, Jennifer… I need to make things right. I’ll be fast, I promise.”

She stayed silent as she glanced behind her, as if expecting Justin to be right there. After seeing that he was not, she sighed and stepped to the side.

“Be quick, and no more promises okay?” she said warningly. He nodded and stepped past her into the condo. “He’s in his room.”

Brian climbed the stairs to the first floor and headed towards the room he knew was Justin’s.

He pushed the slightly ajar door open and saw Justin sitting on his bed, drawing. The boy looked up and quickly hid the paper from view. His eyes widened much like his mother’s had moments earlier.

“What do you want?” the blonde asked and Brian stepped into the room.

“I wanted to talk to you.” he said, pushing the door closed behind him.

“I thought you went to New York.”

“I leave tomorrow.” Brian said, while walking over to the twin sized bed and sitting down on the end.

“Did I invite you in?” Justin asked snidely and Brian shook his head, not liking the attitude the boy was taking with him now. Too much like the one he had when they first met. It hurt Brian.

‘You hurt him.’ he reminded himself and sighed.

“Don’t be like that Justin. I want to say goodbye, and make amends.” he said quietly as he looked over at the blonde who now refused to meet his gaze.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the two. After a minute or two Justin finally met the older man’s gaze. Brian could see unshed tears in his eyes.

“I understand you leaving for your job Brian… but I don’t understand why you don’t want to talk to me anymore. Why can’t we call each other like we used to?” he asked in almost a whisper. Brian sighed.

“I’m not the kind of friend you want, or need Justin. Plus… I think this will be better for us in the long run.” Brian said. His gut lurched when he saw a tear spill over and run down Justin’s cheek. The blonde quickly caught it and rubbed it furiously with the back of his hand.

“Justin.” he said softly, the boy didn’t look at him.

“Justin.” he tried again, this time reaching over and gently grasping the boy’s chin turning him to face him. “I know you don’t understand now, but you will when you are older.”

“But I love you.” the boy whispered. Brian sighed.

“Justin, you’re eight-” he started but the blonde cut him off.

“Stop saying that! I know how old I am!” Justin said while wrenching violently from Brian and turning his back on the man. Brian sat stunned. He knew the boy was hurt but he didn’t realize to what extent. The blonde was now crying quietly, as if he didn’t want the brunette to hear him. Brian stared at the back of Justin’s head and let out a shaky sigh.

“I don’t want you to hate me Justin. I care about you. You’ve become like the little brother I’ve always wanted…” Brian said and ignored Justin as he snorted “I admit that I came here for selfish reasons. I was hoping that you would give me your blessing. That you would wish me good luck in New York… was that stupid of me?” he asked quietly and Justin wiped his eyes.

“No.” the boy responded in a whisper and Brian couldn’t help but crack a small smile. Justin turned slightly to glance at Brian. The man gasped as the small blonde threw himself towards him, hugging him around the waist and burying his face in the Brian’s chest. Brian hugged him back.

“Do we have to stop talking to each other?” Justin asked, mumbling into Brian’s shirt.

“Yes, Justin.” he answered simply and even though it hurt, Brian thought he might have actually gotten through to the boy.

“Will I ever see you again?” Justin asked again obviously trying not to look up at Brian. Brian sighed.

“I don’t know, Justin. It’s a smaller world than you think. It might happen.” he told the blonde who slowly looked up at him with a sad smile.

“Really?” Justin asked quietly in a hopeful voice which made Brian smile.

“Yeah, It could happen. However by then I’ll be all old and gross. You wont even want to look at me!” he joked dramatically and Justin laughed.

The two sat in a comfortable silence and as much as Brian didn’t want to break it he knew Jennifer would be on his ass soon to leave.

“So do I have your blessing Sunshine?” he asked the boy who sighed.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re going either way…”

“I know, but it would mean a lot to me if you did.” he spoke up while looking into the boy’s blue eyes. Justin stayed silent for a while before nodded. Brian smiled. “Is that a yes?” he asked and Justin looked away from him before nodded again and letting out a small ‘yes’.

Brian hugged the boy again before standing up. Justin gave him a sad look but tried to smile anyway. Brian returned it.

“I have to go. I have an early flight tomorrow.” he said and Justin nodded. Brian rolled his lips into his mouth before turning on his heal and heading for the door.

“Wait!” Justin called and Brian stopped. He turned to see the boy rummaging through his blankets. Soon he emerged with his teddy bear in hand. Justin jumped off of the bed and walked over to Brian and handing him the bear. “Take him with you!”

Brian frowned.

“You want me to take Gus-Bear.” he asked. Justin smiled.

“I don’t need him anymore, but you might… ya know, going to New York and all.” the blonde said, shyness creeping into his voice. Brian smiled.

“You sure?” he asked again. Justin rolled his eyes.

“Just take him.” the boy said in an annoyed tone. Brian laughed.

“Alright. I’ll take him.” Brian said while leaning down and hugging the boy one last him. He turned to the door and opened it, walking out into the living room. Justin didn’t follow him. He saw Jennifer sitting on the couch with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Thank you Jennifer.” he said simply and she hesitated before nodded. He sighed and jogged down the stairs to the front door. He walked out into the cold air and shivered, unconsciously pulling the bear closer to him. He walked to his car and opened the door stopping to look up at Justin’s window. Justin was standing there looking at him. He gave the boy a small wave and what happened next shocked Brian.

He smiled.

He smiled a huge “sunshine” smile and waved back. Relief and sadness washed over Brian as he smiled back. He slid into the car and carefully placed “Gus-Bear” in the passenger seat before starting the car and putting it into drive.

~~~~~

Jennifer sighed and she dropped her head into her hands after Brian had left. She knew she had done the right thing; any other mother in her position would have done the same. She rubbed her temples as she remembered the night she came home to see her small son curled up in the arm of his much older babysitter.

She remembered the fear that washed over her as she recalled the many story’s on the news of missing children and abusive babysitters. Somewhere in her heart she knew that Brian wasn’t capable of doing anything like that to Justin or any other child for that matter but she couldn’t help the feeling of doubt nagging in the back of her mind. Doubt that she couldn’t afford to ignore. Not when it came to Justin.

~

Jennifer turned off the TV and walked silently to the couple on the couch. She carefully shook Brian’s shoulder in order to wake him up. She saw a look of panic cross his warm hazel eyes as he awoke, realizing exactly how the situation looked. She motioned him to stay quiet so he didn’t wake Justin up. She carefully took a sleeping Justin into her arms and carried him to his room. She put him in his bed and covered him with his blanket before kissing him on his head.

“Goodnight sweetheart.” she whispered before turning and walking out of her son’s room, closing the door behind her. She walked into the living room and saw Brian sitting on the couch. She sighed and sat next to him. He started in right away.

“Look Mrs. Taylor… I was going to put him in his room when he fell asleep. I accidentally fell asleep too.” he explained. She nodded her head and continued to stare at the empty space in front of her.

“I know Brian.” she said, but sounded unsure.

“You don’t believe me.” Brian said, more of a statement than a question.

“It’s not that Brian…” she started but didn’t know how to finish.

“It is that.” he accused quietly “You don’t believe me.”

“Can you blame me Brian?” she asked and his eyes widened slightly. She shook her head before continuing. “I can’t imagine you doing anything… inappropriate to Justin, I really can’t Brian but…” she started but couldn’t seem to finish her sentence.

“But..?” Brian pushed. She sighed.

“But after everything that’s going on in this world, after everything you hear on the news, even from your own friends and family… I have no room for ‘ifs’. It’s me and Justin now, and I’m not going to risk his safety and his sanity… for anything.” she finished, not able to look at Brian’s face knowing that she would see hurt there.

“What do you mean ‘his sanity’.” Brian asked. Jennifer covered her face with her hands.

“He’s obsessed with you Brian…” she said quietly.

“I wouldn’t say obsessed-” Brian started but she cut him off.

“He is. He talks about you all the time. You’re his best friend and he doesn’t seem to understand how… unnatural that is. I wouldn’t have such a problem with it if you didn’t indulge him so much. If you acted like a babysitter rather than a friend to him.” she said wiping her eye before a tear could fall.

“I don’t think I’ve done anything inappropriate.” Brian said but Jennifer could hear the doubt in his voice. She shook her head while standing up. She walked over to the kitchen and slid open a drawer and pulled out a piece of paper. She walked back to the couch and handed it to Brian.

“That’s not inappropriate?” she asked as he looked over the paper with his number on it. “You gave that to Justin after you were fired, didn’t you?” she asked again and he sighed.

“I just wanted him to have someone to talk to…” Brian said quietly.

“He can talk to me. I’m his Mother-”

“At the time you weren’t really acting like it Jennifer!” Brian spoke up and she clamped her lips shut.

“I realize that at that time Craig still ruled over me and Justin, however that has changed and I find your increasing closeness to Justin disturbing.” she said and Brian shook his head.

“I just wanted to be there for him. I wanted him to be able to talk to me without being judged. I wanted him to have something that I never did…” he said quietly and Jennifer couldn’t help the feeling of guilt wash over her. She shook it off, determined to make her point.

“I’m sorry Brian, but I can’t just sit by and watch this happen. Even if you never hurt Justin intentionally, and I don’t believe you ever would, I can’t watch him grow closer to you knowing that one day you won’t be in his life anymore.” Jennifer said. Brian looked up at her.

“So you hired me, just to fire me again?” he asked, bitterness creeping into his voice.

“If I would have known things would be like this I wouldn’t have.” she said. Brian smiled at cold smile and laughed mirthlessly.

“Yes well, I understand Jennifer. Can’t have some flaming child-molester on your hands, can you?” he asked with a tongue in cheek smirk. Jennifer bristled.

“I never once accused you of being a child-molester Brian, nor do I give two shits whom you fuck!” she exclaimed obviously offended, making Brian flinch and leaving him speechless. “But I am NOT going to risk my son’s health or sanity for a good babysitter.” she finished.

Silence followed after that. Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and shook his head.

“I’m not firing you Brian, but I want you to make it clear to Justin exactly where you two stand.”

“Why me?”

“Because he won’t listen to me Brian. He’ll listen to you.” she said firmly, trying to keep her tears at bay.

~

Jennifer sighed. She didn’t want to think of how her words hurt the man. He went on to tell her about his almost internship, which he had gotten obviously. Jennifer felt ashamed that she was happy that he had. Not because she was happy for him, she was happy that he now had an excuse not to see Justin anymore. She felt like a hypocrite earlier that night when she found one of Justin’s sketch books, almost completely devoted to Brain. Her guilt had gotten so strong she finally wrote the man and note and dropped the book in front of his apartment. She hoped that the note would explain her feelings on the subject, however confusing they were.

She hoped that he would understand that although she wanted him gone from Justin’s life, she hoped that the man wouldn’t forget him. She sighed, thinking of how confused she was on the matter. She should have suspected that Brian would come tonight, but for different reasons. She expected him to bitch her out about her inconsistencies but instead he simply wanted to “make things right” with Justin. She tried not to smile as she listened to Brian tell Justin that the world was small, and that they might see each other again. Earlier visions of an older Brian and Justin walking down Liberty Ave. together plagued her mind. She forced herself not to think of that.

Jennifer wiped her eyes and stood up. She walked to her room and started getting ready for a shower.

~~~~~

Brian sat in the passenger seat of the Gremlin. Michael had convinced him to let him drive Brian to the airport, claiming that he needed practice with his very old, yet new car. After yet another tearful goodbye at the Novotny house the two were now riding to the airport.

After a half an hour of finding a parking space in the huge airport parking lot the two hoped onto a shuttle which took them to the airport itself. After hugging the shorter man and saying his goodbyes the too separated and soon enough Brian was sitting in a window seat on the plane.

He sighed as the stewardess went over safety instructions. Fifteen minuets later the plane was in the air, headed towards New York.

Brian reached down under the seat in front of him and grabbed his carryon. He rummaged inside for a minute before pulling out the small teddy bear Justin had given him. He kicked his bag back underneath the seat in front of him and pulled Gus-Bear to his chest. He ignored the older man next to him giving him an odd look, obviously not used to seeing a 20 year old man clinging onto a teddy bear as if he were just a boy.

Brian gazed out the window and sighed.

He kept telling himself that this was a new beginning, to embrace and enjoy it. Yet he couldn’t stop himself from seeing the small blonde boy in his head, standing on the vast staircase in Craig Taylor’s house as the man in question introduced the two.

He couldn’t help but see the boy as he laughed at Brian, who was standing in front of a confused pizza delivery boy, and a pile of pizza sitting at his feet.

He couldn’t help but see the boy as he lay helplessly on his back after falling out of a tree and breaking his leg.

…Or the face the boy made as he looked around in wonder when Brian brought him to Liberty Ave. for the first time in his young life.

Brian couldn’t help but think how amazing it was that a small blonde boy named Justin went from being a thorn in his side to one of his closest friends in a matter of months.

Even if Brian never met the boy again, he would never forget him. Even though Brian was sure Justin would forget about him, Brian would never forget about Justin.

His Justin.

His Sunshine.

‘The bane of my existence.’

_________________________________________

Cheese alert! :P I had to add that in there lol. Okay so that’s it. I’ll be doing a sequel but it might not come out until I’m done with Dancing With Sunshine, just to make things a little less hectic. I hope you stick with me as I try to organize everything.

Thank you for reading!

Jackie