I turn over in my sleep and wake up. Shit. That was some dream. I'm still breathless from what happened in my dream. Or should I just say what happened a few years ago? *Flashback* I wake up, feel a presence beside me and sigh. Fuck, the trick from last night stayed. I sigh again, and throw my legs over the edge of the bed. My head hurts like hell. The shit Anita sold me last night was bad, and I mean really bad. So bad that I let the trick stay the night. Without looking at the trick I walk into the bathroom to shower. "Fuck it.", I say when I'm standing under the spray of water. Okay, so the twink stayed the night? What's the big deal about it? It's not like he would ever get the chance again to spend the night. I had him, so I'm done with him. I emerge from the bathroom, and see a blond head look out from the blanket that he had pulled under his chin. Yeah, my loft was cold in the morning. Not that any trick ever had the chance to notice this. They were out before they even could say that it's cold. I walk over to my desk and grab a piece of paper. If the trick felt half as bad as I do, then I can't wake him up now. I may be an asshole, but I know that when you're not used to drugs (especially if it's bad shit from a bathtub in Tijuana), you better sleep off the headache. Not that I had any chance right now, the trick probably was out like a light. I write down some nonsense on the paper and walk back to the bedroom and lay the paper down on the pillow beside the trick's head. And with that I'm off to work. *End Flashback* I sigh. I remember now how I felt that day. Restless. Like I feel now. I felt like something important happened but I simply forgot it. So I called the loft in hope that the trick was still there, and would answer the phone, so that I could tell him to stay. At least until I figured out what that fucking restlessness was all about. But I had no such luck. When I called, I only got the answering machine. For weeks after that, I looked closely at every blond twink, but I never saw him again. He just disappeared after our one night stand. For the first time, I regretted something in my life. Regretted that I didn't stay that morning to see his face again. I sigh again and jump out of the bed. Careful not to wake Justin. I sigh nevertheless. What a fool I've been. Why didn't I recognize him immediately? Or did I? Was it because of our encounter in the past, that I had such a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when I first saw him at the animal shelter? So okay, maybe it was because I recognized him in some fucked up way, but why did I meet him again now? Now, when I'm a dog? Why not when I was a human? Maybe then Justin would recognize me too, but wait... He did recognize me, at least on the picture with Gus. As I walk over to my desk, I hear a yawn coming from the bedroom. I sigh again. It seems I'm constantly doing that these days. I turn around and walk back to the bedroom. "Hey Coop, what are you doing up?", Blondie asks and again pulls the blanket up, so that I can slip under it. Without really recognizing it, I immediately snuggle closer to Justin, who pulls me to him and cuddles me. °*°*°*°*°*°*° The young blond tried to take comfort in the warmth of his dog's body. It felt good to be safe again. Like the one night he had spent with Brian. Even if it was just one. This one night had changed everything in Justin's life. He had felt at home. Like they always say, 'Home is where the heart is'. His heart was here. He sighed. "I miss him so much.", he mumbled in Cooper's fur as a tear escaped his eyes. This time he wasn't ashamed of his tears. Finally, he let all the grief he had in him out. All the beatings he took from Ethan because he thought something was wrong with him. That he was to blame, because if he was honest with himself, he had never really loved Ethan. He just wanted someone to fill the hole in his heart Brian had left when he took him home that night. Never before did he cry, because he'd never believed he'd ever see Brian again. He just thought they weren't meant to be. In all honesty, he never let himself cry over the lose he felt, because he knew that if Ethan would've seen him crying he would've beaten the shit out of him. "Crying's for sissies.", Ethan had said after Justin started crying after being punched for the first time. The young man could still remember these things because he'd felt terrified for the first time in his life. And then there was Brian. When Justin had laid eyes on him, he knew he was the one. He still couldn't understand why he had forgotten everything about the hazel eyed god, and in Justin's eyes, Brian Kinney indeed was a god. He got goosebumps when he thought about how Brian had touched him. He was kind and gentle as soon as he realized that Justin was a virgin. "I love him so much Coop. What in the hell am I going to do?", he whispered and again snuggled closer to Cooper. °*°*°*°*°*°