” So Justin how have you been?” Brian asks me. See, I told you this was an awkward situation. ”Me? I have been good. Yeah. What about you?” I am clearly nervous about talking to him. I mean how can I explain all of this. I moved on, he moved on and now we are face to face again talking about the weather… well not really but you know what I mean right. Brian is still looking at Gus, not really hearing what I am saying. I take Gus from my lap and sit him next to me. ”Uhm, I have been doing good to. Finished college now I am working for a big company in advertising.” ”oh I see, that’s good.” I look around the dinner cause I am hating the silence that fell after this. ”Daddy, daddy I want my burger now.” Debbie comes up with our order and I don’t know if I am grateful for this. I hope she doesn’t ask more questions about Gus. She places our food in front of us and just stands there waiting with her hands on her hips. ”What?” I ask her. She just throws her hands in the air and takes of again. I make a small groan and begin to cut the hamburger in two for Gus. ”Mister, aren’t you going to eat?” Gus is asking Brian. ”No little man I already ate.” Brian tells him smiling. In some way this is making my heart break. Gus is eating now and all Brian does is watching him. I watch the interaction between the two and it’s so cute. I can’t believe Gus had to miss this. If I could have the chance back then I would have stayed but I couldn’t. Now we are both grown up and I think it’s time for me to make my own decisions. ”Brian…” I start saying but he cuts me of with a question. ”Justin is the kid mine?” He asks in a normal and calm tone still not looking at me but at Gus. ”I…I can’t… Brian can’t we talk about this some other time when Gus is not around.” Gus looks up at hearing his name clueless to what is going on and offers a bite of his hamburger to Brian. He makes a soft laugh which I never heard before and tells Gus to eat it himself. ” Justin, it’s not that hard just a yes or no will do.” He says. ”Brian please don’t… not now.” I let my hands fall on the table and look at them not daring to look at Brian cause if I do I might cry. ” Fine then, but this needs to be talked about and when I say this then I mean 3 years.” I nod still not looking at him. In the meantime Gus has climbed up the table. ”Gus get of the table now.” I tell him. He doesn’t listen and he is sitting in front of Brian reaching his left hand out he pets Brian’s hair in a childish manner which is understandable cause he is child. ” I saw a picture of you today mister, I have the same hair as you.” I put my head in my hands and shake my head. This is to much. “Gus that’s enough leave the mister alone.” I take him by the waist and sit him next to me again. Brian laughs at Gus pout and tells me “ That kid is smart.” I finally look in his eyes. “ I know. To smart for his own good.” Brian places his hand upon mine and I know I look a little scared now. I think I forgot to blink my eyes. ”Justin, I would to talk tonight. Can you come over to my place?” He asks. ”I don’t know Brian I can’t just leave Gus at home.” ”Then bring him with you. Please…” Never ever did I hear Brian use the word please. It scares me. ”Uhm ok then, what time?” He gives me a card where his address is written on and tell me to be there at 7. ”I’ll be there.” I tell him. He gets up and places a kiss on Gus’s cheek. ”Bye sonny boy”. He looks at me and smiles “Later sunshine.” ”Later” I tell him and he is leaving the dinner. “Daddy?” ”Yeah baby?” ” Is he my other daddy? And why doesn’t he want my hamburger? Oh he has soft hair. Daddy I don’t want my hamburger anymore.” Shit this is going to be a long day. __________________________________________________________________ ”I’m so sorry Deb. I wanted to tell you really bad but I needed time and then before I got the chance my mother send me away…” Justin became silent. “ Because she was ashamed of me.” ”Oh sweetie, I’m sure you’re mother was not ashamed she was just worried about you. I mean it’s not everyday you’re only son becomes pregnant. “ Debbie says while pouring another cup of coffee. ”Yeah I know deb, It just hurts me to know… that … that I missed a big part of my life. Not going to college here with my friends not talking to them but only on the phone. Still Emmett and Michael where great when they visited me. I wanted them to know Gus and I wanted Gus to know who his daddy’s friends are.” Justin sighed. Debbie didn’t know that Justin had to go trough this all this time. Being a single mother herself she knew how that life can play tricks on you. No time for nothing except for yourself and your child. You tend to forget other people. ”But that didn’t include Brian now did it?” ”Deb please… don’t do this.” ”But i’m going to. How the hell could you keep that little boy out of Brian’s life. Yes I know he was an asshole back then. But Justin believe me you didn’t see him after you left. He changed so much and I bet it has something to do with you. He is not Brian anymore like you use to know him.” ”You know I sensed that to when I was talking to him. It felt like talking to someone else. But not necessarily someone else that is bad. I think I would like to meet this new Brian but I’m scared I will get hurt again or worse that I let Brian fully into Gus life and that my son will be hurt. I can’t let that happen Deb. I just can’t.” Justin shook his head and was ready to stand up but Deb stopped him. ”Justin listen. Go to Brian’s tonight. Get to know him again. Get him to know you again. “ ” I will try. But I can’t promise anything.” Justin kissed Debbie on he cheek before he flashed a big smile at her. ” That’s my boy.” Deb laughed. ”Yeah, boy” Justin laughed to. “ Oh, will you please let me know when Michael is having his bachelor party. Now that’s one party I don’t want to miss. Bye Deb.” And Justin left. Deb still stood there looking kinda confused. “Bachelor party. Holy fuck I forgot to plan the stripper.” __________________________________________________________________