Disclaimer: Don't own them!!! Chapter 4 – Mr. Brightside 'Coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine. Gotta, gotta be down, because I want it all. It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.' Justin “C’me on, Justin, we’re gonna be late,” Daphne urged, trying to drag him into the cinema. “Hold on, I just need to call Brian,” Justin said, taking his phone out of his pocket. “You’ve called him twice already!” Daphne exclaimed. “I swear you’re beginning to act like Michael and Debbie. And I love the lady, but that isn’t exactly a compliment.” “I’ll only be a second,” Justin promised, dialing. “What now, Sunshine?” “Just wanted to check-” “If I was alright? I’m just as alright as I was the last time you called, and the time before that.” “I know,” Justin sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m just-” “Worried. I know you are. Listen to me, Justin, are you listening?” “I’m listening.” “I promised I’d take care of myself, and I always keep my promises, remember? Now, I have to go eat something and then head to class, ok? So stop calling me before Daphne breaks your phone, or I do.” “Ok,” Justin said, sheepishly. “See you later.” He hung up, a small grin adorning his face. Daphne was staring at him oddly, and somewhat compassionately. “What?” “Justin, can I tell you something that’s going to piss you off?” “No.” “Well, it’s my duty as your oldest and coolest friend, so I’m gonna tell you anyway.” Daphne took a deep breath. “You’re in love with Brian,” she said. “Uh… I’m… uh, what? No way,” Justin tried to deny, fighting off a panic attack. “Listen, I’ve suspected this, like, forever,” Daphne started, rolling her eyes. “But the way you freaked out over his collapse? Fuck, Justin! You do realize you’ve called me three times in as many days, in the middle of the night, because you had a nightmare about Brian dying? And then you have to stay up and see him sleep, to make sure he’s breathing.” Daphne took Justin’s hand in his. “That’s not normal friend-worry, Justin. That’s love-you-to-the-depths-of-my-soul worry.” Justin said nothing for a long while. Then, he simply said, “Let’s go in, before we miss the movie,” and walked into the cinema. Daphne followed him after a moment, sighing. Denial’s a bitch. + Brian and Justin were playing pool in Woody’s, and Brian was kicking Justin’s ass. Normally, Justin was a damn good player, but he was distracted. And since he was distracting himself from the reason he was distracted in the first place, he was playing miserably. “Ok, enough,” Brian said, putting his cue down. “Normally, I love a painful slaughter as much as the next man, but this is just too much. Let’s make a toast instead.” Justin nodded gratefully, dropping his cue on the pool table, and raised his shot glass. “To living through the most dreadful experience…” Justin smiled, thinking Brian was going to make a sentimental toast. Yeah, fucking right. As if. “… a roommate who takes mothering to another level.” “Oh, fuck you!” Justin laughed. But drank to the toast nonetheless. “Now it’s my turn. To a truly great person,” he started, and Brian smirked. “Someone who has to put up with you. Namely, me. Bottoms up!” Justin finished, drinking the last of his whiskey. Brian stared at him with an open mouth, but then he laughed softly and drank to Justin’s toast. “Great. Now we need more drinks,” Brian declared, looking at Justin pointedly. “Me? You’re the one who worked in Babylon. I saw you, you must’ve made hundreds from tips alone. So if anyone is the rich drink buyer here, it’s you,” Justin said, smiling. “That money’s been spent,” Brian answered, strangely serious. “It was used the moment I earned it.” Justin wondered at his abrupt shift in mood. “On what?” he asked. “Vic’s hospital bills.” Justin’s eyes widened. “Deb needed help,” Brian shrugged. Justin nodded, knowing anything he said would be badly received. So he stood up, saying, “I’ll get the drinks.” Brian Kinney could always surprise him. + "Now they’re going to bed, and my stomach is sick" Justin had known the exact moment when Brian was going to stand up and go to the trick in the table by the door. He’d known it was going to be that guy since they walked in, because Brian hadn’t fucked him yet, and he was just his type. He’d known Brian would play pool and drink with Justin, making the guy wait. Because Brian does things his own way, and anybody waits for him. Still, even though he’d known, it still hurt when Brian stood up, gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and left saying, “Gotta go see a fuck about a blowjob. Later, Sunshine.” Justin stayed for a while more, drinking a Beam he should’ve done without, ignoring the guys cruising him, and looking at Brian make his move. He knew every single move in the Kinney manual. It was only tonight, after too many drinks, two fucking years, and words he wished he’d never heard, that Justin could admit to himself he wanted to be on the receiving end of those moves again. The only problem was he didn’t just want the moves; he wanted everything. The only problem was Brian was his best friend. The only problem was it was a fucking bad idea. Mostly, the only problem was that there wasn’t just one problem. + 'And I just can’t look, it’s killing me, And taking control.' When he got home, he headed directly for the phone and called Daphne. “Hello?” “You were right,” Justin said miserably. “I know. I’m always right.” “So what do I do now?” “Tell him?” “Yeah, right,” Justin snorted. “Um, ok, then. How about dating? To get over him?” “Dating?” “Yeah, you know, that socially awkward situation where you go out with another human being, eat, drink, and try not to sound retarded.” “Right… I don’t think I’ve ever done that.” “I have the perfect guy. You’re going out with him tomorrow.” + 'Jealousy, turning saints into the sea' “You’re going out on a date?” Justin was amazed at how Brian managed to make the word ‘date’ sound not only ridiculous, but also disgusting, and almost obscene, in a non-hot way. “Yeah, I’m going out on a date.” Justin was trying to get ready for his lunch date. ‘Lunch date’ sounded so retarded. Fuck, everything to do with dates sounded retarded. Justin wondered why the hell he was doing this. “With whom?” Brian followed Justin to his bedroom. “A friend of Daphne’s,” he answered, discarding a shirt because it was too tight, tossing it on the bed on his way to the bathroom. Brian quickly grabbed it and went to Justin’s closet to hang it up. “A friend of Daphne’s?” Brian asked, incredulous to new, and even more annoying, levels. “You know, it would be really awesome if you stopped repeating everything I said,” Justin pointed out, throwing another shirt on the floor because it was too loose. Brian rolled his eyes and picked it up. “Fuck you.” Brian actually stuck his tongue out at him. “I’m going to work out. Have fun on your date, honey” he said in a mocking falsetto. Justin was already ten minutes late by the time he left the apartment. The last thing he saw was Brian, shirtless, doing crunches. The reason he was going out on a date was suddenly made much more clear. + Justin ran inside the restaurant, scanning the tables for a guy that matched Daphne’s description. He spotted him quickly, mainly because the guy looked about as nervous as Justin felt. He made his way to the table. “Hi, sorry I’m late,” Justin said breathlessly, sitting down on the chair. “Don’t worry about it,” the guy said. Justin thought his name was Rick. Or Red? “I only got here a few minutes ago myself,” he smiled. Justin didn’t smile back. So Rob wasn’t punctual, was he? Strike one. “So, have you been here before?” Justin gestured to the restaurant. “Is it good?” “Oh, it’s great. And it’s totally cheap,” he winked. Fucking winked. Great, Ron was a cheap bastard. I mean, Justin got that they’re college students, and as such they’re certifiably starving for four years, but you should at least pretend in a date, right? Strike two. “So what’s your major?” Justin asked, making one last effort. “Orthodontics. I want to be the best dentist I possibly can. Dentistry is truly an art form.” Justin almost choked on his water. Dentistry? Art form? Ok, Rube was a fucking loser. And Justin may be a snob sometimes, but nobody in his right mind would call fixing teeth art. Strike three, and out. + Brian laughed for about twenty minutes when Justin recounted his date. “Where the hell did Daphne find him, anyway?” Brian asked. “Apparently, she’s her roommate’s boyfriend’s friend,” Justin explained. “See, people who you know through such complicated sentences just aren’t good date material,” Brian said. “Come on, let’s go watch Fight Club and eat chocolate Haagen-Dazs.” Justin was bemused. “What, aren’t you supposed to watch a movie and pig out on ice-cream when your date’s a fucking idiot?” Justin snorted. “You’re supposed to watch a chick flick, like Pride and Prejudice, and eat Ben & Jerry’s.” “Well, there are loads more hot, shirtless guys in Fight Club than in Pride and Prejudice, and I like Haagen-Dazs better,” Brian shrugged. “Plus, Ben & Jerry’s ice-cream has weird-ass names,” he added, sitting down on the couch, a container of chocolate ice-cream in his hand. Justin chuckled and joined Brian on the couch. Brian gave him a small grin, and offered him a spoon. + 'Swimming through sick lullabies' “No fucking way you’re going out with one of those GLC weirdos.” “Yes fucking way,” Justin said. “And it was Lindsay who set me up.” “So?” Brian huffed. “She’s a lesbian.” As if that explained everything. “Anyway, I’m going out for dinner this time. It might be better.” Justin hoped so. He really, really hoped so. Justin spotted his date as soon as he walked into the restaurant, because Lindsay had described him as a buff, red-haired guy, and there was such a one sitting in one of the tables by the entrance. “Hi, I’m Chad. Nice to meet you,” the guy extended his hand, and gave him a wide smile. “Hi, I’m Justin,” he replied, shaking his hand. “Likewise.” “So, how do you know Lindsay?” “She’s really good friends with my roommate, Brian,” Justin explained. “Right, right.” Chuck was still smiling widely. Justin wondered if he’d been subjected to the art of dentistry, and thus felt like bragging his teeth. It was starting to freak him out. So, creepy wide smile was strike one. “Um, what about you? How do you know Lindsay?” Justin asked. “Oh, she helped me out when I first came out. She was a lifesaver.” “Coming out can be tough,” Justin commiserated. “How long ago did you come out?” “Oh, two days ago.” Justin stared. “Um, well, congratulations.” “Thanks,” Charlie was still smiling. “So, how about that Lindsay, huh? Is she a hot fox, or what?” “I… I guess so?” Talking about a girl, a lesbian, wasn’t really normal in dates, was it? Justin hadn’t been in many, actually, just a grand total of one, but he was pretty sure this wasn’t the way things were supposed to go. “Yeah, she’s hot alright. Do you think I have a chance with her?” Champ asked, managing to look serious while smiling. “I mean, I think this favor I did for her is the right way to go, to impress her, you know?” Oh, for fuck’s sake. Strike two, strike three, out. + “He wasn’t gay?!” Brian was having far too much fun with this. “No,” Justin answered grumpily. “Well, what did Lindsay say when you told her?” “She apologized for ten minutes. Though I’m pretty sure she laughed her ass off the moment we hung up.” Brian just grinned. Seeing Justin’s misery, however, he went to the refrigerator. “Ok, time to pull out the big guns. Haagen-Dazs chocolate chocolate chip.” Justin fought a smile. “C’me on, Sunshine. You know you want it,” Brian said in a sing-song voice. “And, look! Legends of the Fall and Highway. So we can watch Brad Pitt at his hottest, and when the drama gets too fucking boring, we can get stoned along with Jared Leto and Jake Gyllenhaal. I tell you, it doesn’t get much better than this.” Justin followed Brian into the living room and plopped down on the couch next to him. He took his spoon and dug into the ice-cream. Gancing toward Brian, he had to agree, it didn’t get much better. That was precisely the problem, though. + Justin went out for coffee with Anton, the weird, smelly guy who was in love with him. Actually, it was more like Justin ordered coffee before Anton, who was next in line. But Anton smiled at him creepily the whole time, and since Justin felt as awkward as he had in his two previous dates, he thought it might count. He didn’t mention it to Brian, however, because no amount of Haagen-Dazs or shirtless hot men could make up for the length of time he would make fun of Justin. + "Choking on you alibis" “So, you went out on a date with a dentist who fancied himself an artist, and with a straight guy who was trying to score points with a lesbian?” Ethan asked, bravely trying to keep the mirth from his voice, and failing. He and Justin had made up after Justin’s blow-up, mainly because Ethan had apologized for being so insensitive. And because Justin hated not having someone with whom he could make fun of people at school. “Yep,” Justin nodded. “Wow. That really takes bad dates to another level.” “I know.” They stopped in front of a hot dog vendor and ate a very unhealthy lunch. Justin was finishing his second hot dog, when Ethan spoke up. “So, how about you go on a date with me?” Justin focused on swallowing so he wouldn’t choke. “What?” he managed to wheeze out. “Well, I’m thinking I can’t suck anymore than the guys you’ve already gone out with, and I might actually be good.” Justin looked at him for a moment, looked at his hopeful face, his cocky grin which he attempted to make shy. “Let me think about it.” When he got home, Brian was standing in the middle of the living room watching a soccer game, still wet from a shower, with nothing but a towel on. “Hey, Sunshine,” he called out, as Justin went past him to get to his room. Once Justin had closed the door, he leaned against it for a moment, and took out his phone. “Ethan? Hi. So, I’ll go out with you.” + “Ian? You’re going out with Ian?” “Ethan, and yes, I am,” Justin said, putting on a black sweater. “Why?” Brian sounded honestly confused. “I thought you knew he had this big crush on you, and you didn’t want to lead him on.” “Well, yeah, but…” Justin took in Brian, wearing the red sleeveless shirt. Motherfuckin’ hot asshole. “I thought I should give him a chance.” Brian huffed. “So what’s it gonna be this time? Lunch? Dinner?” “Neither. We’re going to a concert in the park.” “Oh, how romantic,” Brian mocked. “Fuck all you know about romance,” Justin grinned. Brian rolled his eyes. “Well, I’ve heard it’s romantic.” Apparently, what Brian had heard was right, because when Justin and Ethan arrived to the plaza where the concert was being held, everything was illuminated with fairy lights. They sat down on the plastic chairs that were placed around the podium where the musicians would play, and talked about nothing in particular until the concert began. Justin felt quite relieved at actually knowing Ethan’s name. They walked around the park after the concert, Ethan pointing out where he would’ve played differently, and Justin nodding in agreement even though he wasn’t all too sure what Ethan was talking about. They stopped by a street vendor and bought piping hot coffee and cinnamon doughnuts, and sat down on a bench to eat them. “I can’t believe I’ve lived in Pittsburgh my whole life and I’ve never done this before,” Justin marveled. “Well, now you know. Stick with me, and I’ll take you to places you’ve never dreamed,” Ethan said smiling. Justin had no idea of how to reply. I mean, what are you supposed to answer to something like that? So he took a deep drink from his coffee, and almost burnt his tongue. “Fuck!” “Are you ok?” Ethan asked him worriedly. “U-huh. Just burnt my tongue.” “Do you want some ice, some cold water?” “No, no, I’ll be alright,” Justin assured him. Brian was waiting for him when he got home. “So, did it suck?” he asked the moment Justin got in the door. Justin didn’t answer for a moment, considering. His date hadn’t sucked. He hadn’t counted strikes throughout the evening, he’d been sure of what Ethan’s name was… and sure, he’d burnt his tongue because Ethan was a bit of a cornball, but all things considered, it had been alright. “Nope, it didn’t suck. I actually had a pretty good time,” Justin said, smiling. “Oh.” Was it disappointment he saw in Brian’s face? “Well, I’m gonna head to Babylon. See you later.” Brian was out the door before Justin could utter another word. + Brian Brian didn’t even stop to get a drink. The moment he arrived to Babylon, he grabbed a guy by the shirt and pulled him toward the backroom. The guy didn’t complain, of course, because even though Brian was young, he was building up quite a reputation, and nobody said no to a guy as hot as him. Once inside the backroom, Brian pushed the trick to his knees. He looked around, and nodded to a couple of guys who were giving him the eye. Soon, he was surrounded, he was being pleased, he was at peace. Or he desperately wanted to be. Justin’s smiling face came to his mind, and he took out a small vial from his pocket, snorted. It wasn’t enough. “Anybody got E?” Several hands offered all the little white pills he could want. He took two. This was his kingdom. This was his place. No dates, no worries, nothing. Nothing. Brian made his way into the apartment just as dawn was breaking. He looked toward Justin’s closed door, and went into his own room. "But it’s just the price I pay, destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes, ‘cause I’m Mr. Brightside." TBC A/N: Title from song by The KIllers. Song quoted Mr. Brightside by the Killers