Disclaimer: Queer as Folk and all of its characters are property of CowLip, I'm only borrowing them This story is dedicated to Dominique, my friend, my beta and my virtual Brooklyn tour guide. Love you! ~o~ Gus looked on anxiously as his father spoke on the phone. He was sure his mothers had been freaking out… or maybe they hadn’t noticed he’d been gone. Yeah, right, he wasn’t that fucking lucky. “Linds, he’s fine, just fine,” Brian repeated once again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “He didn’t commit a crime, he didn’t rob a liquor store. He was just going through some shit, and he wanted to come talk to me.” A pause. Gus wondered how pissed Brian would have been if he had robbed a liquor store. “No, he couldn’t do it over the phone. He felt like he had to come here and it was the right thing,” Brian rolled his eyes, and huffed out an impatient sigh. “No, I’m not saying I think he should skip out of school and leave the country whenever he feels like talking to me, I’m just saying it was the right thing for him to do this once.” Worried at his mother’s reaction as Gus was, he couldn’t help but feel happy at the support his dad was showing him. He’d already told him, in no uncertain terms, how ‘fucking dangerous’ it had been to show up like this, but he’d also understood the desperation and need behind Gus’ decision to fly to Pittsburgh. “He’ll explain everything to you,” Brian was assuring Lindsay. “Yes, I’ll send him home tomorrow. And I’ll talk to you again after you’ve spoken with him… let me put him on.” With a raised eyebrow, Brian handed the phone to Gus. “Your mommy wants to talk to you, sonny boy,” he said with false cheer. And seeing the reluctance in Gus’ eyes, added, “Hey, don’t worry. It’ll be fine.” “Hey mom…” Leaving Gus to field Lindsay’s questions and admonishments, Brian headed over to the liquor cabinet to pour himself a long awaited shot of Beam. A plan was forming in his mind that he hoped he could get Lindsay to agree to. Mel might feel like ripping him a new one, but that was the one advantage the Munchers living in another country had – he was allowed to surf the web for decent porn and tune her out while she was ‘seriously talking to him about something’. “Dad?” Brian turned to see a slightly teary Gus holding the phone out to him. “Mom wants to talk to you again.” “Thanks, sonny boy,” Brian replied and moved to the bedroom, out of Gus’ earshot. “Linds, I have to ask you something…” ~o~ Gus stood in front of the window, looking out the darkened street. He was still feeling a bit off, his mother’s words ringing in his ears – ‘you hurt me and then you scared the hell out of me’. He’d had no satisfactory answer. She was right. *“Gus, just tell me what’s wrong,” Lindsay pleaded. “What’s wrong is you won’t leave me alone!” Gus yelled, his eyes wild and guilty. “Just leave me alone you fucking fag!” and with that, he grabbed his rucksack and ran out of the house.* He frowned at the memory, and was startled to feel his dad’s hand on his shoulder. “Stop brooding by the window, sonny boy. You’re acting too much like me,” Brian said, tongue in cheek. “Come on, let’s go sit down.” They sat down on the couch and Gus waited for his dad to speak. “So, like we already arranged with your mom, you’re going back to Toronto tomorrow afternoon. I’d like to go with you, but I’m going to New York this week for an account and I have some stuff to settle before I go. There is something I’d like to run by you, though… Would you like to come to New York this weekend with Justin and me?” Brian asked. “We’ll both be staying in our loft there all next week, ‘cause like I said I have a few meetings and Justin’s show is on Friday,” he explained. “I ran it by your mom and she’s fine with it. So how about it?” Gus stared at his dad in disbelief. “Are you kidding? Of course I’d love to go!” “Excellent. Well, then you better go down to your room, it’s late.” Brian stood up and clapped him on the back. “Good night, Gus.” “Good night, dad,” Gus replied, and headed downstairs to his bedroom. Brian knew Mel would say he was ‘rewarding’ Gus for his bad behavior, and that he’d make his son think it was fine to run away and all that shit, but he wasn’t inviting Gus to New York as a reward. He knew that Gus still felt very guilty and that he had a horrible week ahead of him… and he also knew how much his son missed him. Words could only do so much, and spending the weekend with him, making sure Gus understood nothing had changed between them, that he loved him no matter what he’d done, was the least he could do. He felt sure Justin would agree. With a jolt, he remembered his cell phone was still turned off and he had a call to make. Shit, Justin wouldn’t let him live this down soon – he was always taking Brian’s rebukes because he’d forget to turn his phone on. Cringing slightly, Brian dialed the familiar number, but he couldn’t keep from smiling when he heard the voice on the other side of the line. ~o~ ‘Flight 13A to Toronto is now boarding in Gate 3’ “That’s you, sonny boy,” Brian said, standing up. Father and son walked towards the security check, and stopped just in front of it. “Well… bye, dad,” Gus said, looking up rather sadly. “Take care,” Brian said, smiling softly. “And remember we’re seeing each other again in less than a week. I’ll send the flight information to you, and I’ll pick you up in New York, ok?” Gus nodded and hugged his dad fiercely. “You’ll be fine, sonny boy,” Brian whispered. And as he saw his son make his way to the gate, he hoped with all his heart he was right. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he fished it out to answer. “Hey… yeah, just dropped him off. He looks shit scared…” ~o~ Toronto, Canada Gus stared out of the window, focusing on the landscape whirring past him so as not to drown in the silence of the car. The heavy, charged silence. He knew his mom wouldn’t cause a scene in the airport or start an important discussion in the car. No, like the good WASP she was, she’d wait until they were home and he could fully receive her quiet fury without interruptions or curious bystanders. All too soon they’d arrived to their house, its familiar sight rather unwelcome to him. The minute he stepped through the door, Mel appeared in the hall, looking at him with a half frown. She put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes searchingly, before giving him a quick hug and muttering, “Don’t ever fucking do that again.” Sometimes it was kinda scary how much his dad and Mel resembled each other. “Gussy!” a gleeful voice heralded the approach of J.R. Gus cringed at the nickname, but hugged his little sister gratefully nonetheless. She was the one person in the household who wouldn’t glare at him for the next few days… unless he told her she looked like a pimple when she wore pink. Which was the truth, really. “J.R. why don’t you go up to your room? Momma and I need to talk to your brother,” said Lindsay behind him. J.R. rolled her eyes but did as she was asked, and Gus regretfully saw his last excuse for silence head upstairs. His mom gestured with her head and he followed her into the living room with the air of a condemned man heading for the guillotine. He sat down and waited for the ranting. It didn’t come. Instead, Lindsay looked at him for some time, and then asked “Gus… what happened yesterday?” Gus took a deep breath. And braced himself to tell the story once again. *He was tired and sweaty, desperate for a shower. He walked into the locker rooms with the rest of the soccer team and stopped short at the sight before him.. Mark and Steve were kissing against one of the lockers. Before he could do or say anything, Joe Bateman started yelling, advancing upon the two startled teens. “Fucking faggots! What the fuck are you doing kissing in here! You’re fucking disgusting!” “Yeah, you’re disgusting!” Anthony Walden joined in, his voice loud and jarring in Gus’ ears. Someone had thrown a soccer ball at Steve and Mark, someone else had thrown a water bottle. And suddenly, it became pandemonium. Steve and Mark trying to fight back, trying to get away from the combined, irrational wrath of a homophobic jock and other students too scared to contradict him, finding it easier to join in. And just as suddenly Gus found he had joined in too – yelling, throwing slurs. Mark and Steve managed to retreat at last, quickly heading towards the exit, but before the door closed behind them, Gus caught Mark’s eye, and the accusation and pain in the swift glance made him sick with regret.* “And then – I just got out of there. I had to. And I came here, and you kept asking and –” his voice broke then, and he angrily brushed away the tears that started falling. “I’m so sorry, mom. I am so sorry. It’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever done, calling you that… acting like I did…” he looked up at her. “Will you please forgive me?” Lindsay looked at her son with compassion. She understood now what Brian had said, why he’d supported Gus and defended him. The self loathing in his eyes was heartbreaking… she could only imagine how much worse it had been before he’d talked with his dad. “Oh, Gus, of course I forgive you,” she answered at last, opening her arms. Gus hugged her gratefully, and whispered a relieved “Thank you.” That night, Gus stared up at the ceiling in his room, his heart lighter. He still had more apologies to make, and like his dad had said, he had to prove he meant them. He’d called him right after talking to his mom and had texted him again before going to bed. He grabbed his cell phone from the nightstand and found the latest text message he’d received. ‘Fucking go to sleep, sonny boy, school tomorrow. Love you too.’ With a smile, he placed his phone back and finally drifted off to sleep. ~o~ Pittsburgh “Morning, Bri!” Ted greeted, approaching Brian’s desk with a large Starbucks and a full folder. “Morning, Theodore. And please, do try not to be so damn cheerful this early in the morning. It’s unnatural,” Brian said, snatching the tall latte Ted held out for him. He took a long drink, and briefly wondered at the strangeness of Theodore knowing exactly how he liked his coffee. His grumpiness now slightly abated by the ingestion of caffeine, he asked, “So is everything ready for the Levis account?” “Yep, the boards are ready and packed, the video looks perfect and all the papers are drawn up,” Ted answered immediately, pointing to the folder now on Brian’s desk. “Think we’ll get it?” he asked hopefully. Brian glared at him. “Of course we’ll get it, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Ted exclaimed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. The corner of Brian’s mouth lifted slightly and he raised an eyebrow. “Don’t let me catch you having such doubts again, Theodore. Self-deprecation only works for actors accepting Oscars, not for fucking amazing ad-men and accountants. And it never gets you laid. You ought to know.” With that, he walked to the phone and started yelling at someone in the Art Department. Ted looked at him for a moment, confused. He wasn’t sure if he’d just been given a compliment or if he’d been insulted. Ah, well, with Brian it was often all the same thing, he reflected. And he really should tell Brian’s assistant to get him another latte, lest the Art Department have a generalized breakdown again. This happened every time Justin was out of town. ~o~ Brooklyn, New York “Honey, I’m hooome!” Brian called out in a corny falsetto voice. “And are you trying to make me kick you out before we even fuck, or does it just come naturally?” Justin’s voice came from somewhere inside the loft. Brian chuckled, and after hanging up his coat he headed towards the bedroom. Where he found Justin lying down on the bed, stark naked. “Ah, c’me on now… you’d never kick me out before the fucking,” Brian said quietly, standing just inside the doorway. “Shut up and come here already.” Brian obliged, dropping his bag and moving quickly until he was kissing Justin. When they parted, he smiled and said, “Hey there, Sunshine.” “Hey. Missed you.” Brian didn’t answer, but leaned in to kiss Justin again. And then proceeded to quickly get rid of his clothes, which were really getting in the way of his plan to fuck him spectacularly into the mattress. Later, as they lay side by side, biding their time for another round, Brian was smoking a cigarette and Justin shifted and settled on his side, facing Brian. “So you had a heavy time of it night before last, huh?” he asked. Brian closed his eyes, a brief flash of the evening coming back to him. Gus crying, Gus holding on to him tightly. “You could say that, yeah,” he answered. “What did you tell Linds so she’d agree to let him come this weekend?” Brian shrugged. “Just reminded her she’s the one that’s always saying how important it is for Gus to know he can count on me… told her that he’d come to me for a reason, and I wanted to make sure he knew I – I really am here for him.” Justin nodded and kissed Brian’s shoulder. There was something incredibly hot about Brian being a good dad… it made him seriously horny for him. Then again, when was he not horny for Brian? Realizing the futility of such a question, he decided to put it behind him and chose instead to straddle the man next to him, taking the cigarette from his hand and putting it out in the ashtray on the bedside table. “So – ready for round two?” ~o~ Toronto, Canada “Hey, Gus!” a voice called out behind him. Gus turned around and saw his best friend walking towards him across the school’s front lawn. “Hey, Jeff,” he greeted once his friend had caught up. “So you made a run for it on Friday, huh?” Jeffrey asked, nudging his shoulder. “Yeah, how – did they notice?” Jeffrey rolled his eyes. “Of course they noticed. I had to make up some bogus story about a doctor’s appointment so you wouldn’t get in trouble.” Gus looked at him, surprised and grateful. “You did? Thanks, man,” he said earnestly. “That’s what friends are for.” The statement hit Gus like a slap in the face. He stopped suddenly and Jeff stopped as well, confused. “Gus? You ok, man?” “Did you hear – about what happened in the locker room?” Gus asked, not meeting his eyes. “Yeah, I heard. Steve was a bit shaken up, Mark was pissed. They went to the principal, and Joe and Anthony got detention. Mrs. Rand wanted to expel them, she was so fucking angry at them, dude, going on about how this school is about tolerance and shit,” Jeff shook his head. “But jocks will be jocks, huh?” Gus swallowed and looked up. “Jeff… I acted like a jock. I yelled at them, I – I was a fucking asshole.” “I know,” Jeff answered matter-of-factly, and Gus was taken aback. “But I bet you spent the whole weekend totally angsting over it, right? Totally queening out, beating yourself up,” Jeff chuckled at the look on Gus’ face. “Gus, what you did sucked, man, but we all make mistakes. Just apologize to them.” Gus nodded and felt he’d never loved his best friend more. They walked on, toward a bunch of people congregating near the entrance. Gus ran a nervous hand through his hair, recognizing Mark and Steve among the group. Most people called out a greeting to him and Jeff, but he just nodded at them, not stopping until he reached the rest of his friends. They fell quiet when the pair joined them, and the silence seemed unnatural in the noise surrounding them. Gus stepped towards Mark and Steve, and addressed both of them, who looked at him somberly. “Guys – I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry for the way I treated you. I was completely out of line, and I can’t even begin to imagine how horrible you must have felt. I should’ve known better, I don’t know what the hell happened to me,” he bit his lip. “I really am sorry. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I want you to know that.” Behind him, Jeffrey rolled his eyes and whispered, “Drama queen...” to the girl beside him, but she elbowed him and muttered, “Shut up, Jeff…” There was a moment of silence, and eventually Steve nodded and smiled slightly. Mark, however, just stared at Gus and then walked off. Steve glanced at Gus for a second and then went after him. Jeffrey clasped his shoulder. “Give him time, man. Give him time.” ~o~ Thursday rolled around and Mark was still ignoring Gus, something that made him sadder than he admitted to anyone but his dad. Brian, intent on cheering him up, kept sending him stupid texts – new and elaborate names to call his creepy biology teacher, the exact formula and chemicals he’d need to blow up the lab, things of the sort. It made him laugh and wonder how much of a closet geek his dad really was, nobody knew that much about Chemistry just because, but even that couldn’t dispel the fact that one of his good friends wasn’t speaking to him. He was about to sit down next to Jeff in their usual table in the cafeteria when Joe Bateman approached him – apparently his detention was over. “Still sitting with your fag friends, Kinney?” he asked, voice only loud enough for a few tables to hear. No teachers were around right then. “You’re surrounded by fags all the time, aren’t you? Sure you’re not one yourself?” he goaded. Gus didn’t speak for a moment. The scene from last week flashed past his mind, then his mothers’ faces. His dad’s. Justin’s. Emmett, Ted, Michael, Ben… He put his tray down and turned to face Joe. “So what if I am, Joe? Why the hell do you care?” he asked, chin tilted up, hazel eyes narrowed. “Yes, my mothers are gay. My fathers are gay. My uncles, some of my friends are gay – so fucking what? At least I’m surrounded by people who love me. Not by people who put up with me ‘cause they’re scared of me,” Gus shook his head, sneering. “You’re so fucking pathetic, Bateman, you know that? So pathetic.” And with that, he turned around and sat down. Jeffrey whooped and clapped him on the back. “Way to go, Kinney!” All his friends where laughing at the look on Bateman’s face, congratulating Gus. But he was looking at Mark, who was finally smiling at him again. He was forgiven. TBC