School always sucked, but since coming out it sucks even more. The shit is never ending. You’d have thought Hobbs & Co. could come up with some new material, but sadly no. “Faggot.” “Dick licker.” “Queer.” Blah, blah, blah. So on and so forth. Although, one of Hobbs’ knucklehead friends did coin the term “ass thumper,” which is actually kind of amusing; it makes me think of “Bambi.” And another one is heavily into alliteration. “Fucking faggy fudge-packing fairy” is one of his creations, as is “poofy poncy pansy pillow-biter,” although I’m not sure I know exactly what he means by the second one. Must’ve been something he picked-up during his semester abroad at Eton along with a case of gonorrhea if the rumors are true, and they usually are.

The one good thing is that they no longer give me shit after school while I’m waiting for the bus. They had the misfortune once of trying to spit Snapple on me when Brian came to pick me up. He was dressed to kill (even more so than usual; there must’ve been an important client meeting). He didn’t say anything. He just slammed on the brakes and told me to get in the Jeep, but before we drove away, he went over to the guys who were being assholes to me and said something. I have no idea what it was, but they’ve never given me any trouble since beyond their juvenile name-calling.

I’m not afraid of anyone, but I like to lay low anyway. I don’t make scenes unless I have to (or want to). Why invite even more shit if I can help it? But sometimes it can be hard to camouflage myself – especially that time Brian made me come in my pants in front of everyone at lunchtime . . .

Two weeks ago

. . . I’m in the cafeteria eating a nutritious lunch of Doritos, Mountain Dew and mini Snickers when my phone rings. Daph has to catch me when I nearly fall backwards off the bench. Brian is calling me. For the first time ever. I didn’t even know he had my number.

“Hey,” I say, trying to sound blasé when in actuality my heart is swinging from rib to rib like Tarzan.

“Shut up.”

Okay. What the fuck?

“Do you have a notebook and pen handy because I’m about to teach you something even your greasy pervert band instructor won’t.”

“I don’t take band . . .”

“I said, ‘shut up.’”

Daph is punching me in the arm trying to get me to put Brian on speaker. Yeah, right. I glare at her until she goes back to reading Toni Morrison.

“Close your eyes and picture this,” Brian says. “I’m in my office with the door locked. I’m leaning back in my kick-ass chair, and I’ve got my legs spread open as far as possible. My dick is so huge and hard and throbbing it’s testing the resilience of my zipper, which, I must say, had better be up to the task, so to speak. I paid nearly a couple thousand for this suit . . .”

“Holy shit!” I say. “A couple thousand . . . ?”

“Jesus Christ, Justin. Shut the fuck up, will you?”

I almost say “okay,” but catch myself in the nick of time. Instead I nod, which is stupid because, of course, Brian can’t see me.

“I’m rubbing my cock against the crotch seam and leaking pre-come like a fucking faucet. There’s a wet spot where it’s soaking through my pants. I can smell it. It smells like sex. Like fucking. Like fucking you.”

Oh. Dear. Merciful. God. I’d just taken a swig of Mountain Dew and almost spray it all over Daph. Instead, it goes up my nose and fries my brain with carbonated liquid sugar. I heroically stifle a profanity.

“If you were here, I could fuck you without lube – that’s how much pre-come there is. It’s like I came already. God, it’s actually pretty fucking ridiculous.”

He isn’t the only one leaking like a broken faucet. I cross my legs. Thank God my pants are black.

“I’ve been thinking about you all morning – your eyes, your mouth, the way you ride my cock, your boner slapping my stomach. You’re so horny. You’re so fucking close. Your balls are tight and you’re squeezing them while you’re riding me. You’re so far gone I don’t think you even realize that the sounds you’re making are totally undignified.”

I blush. He’s right that I don’t remember what I say – or try to say – when he’s fucking me. I could be screaming for Jesus, Mary and divine Saint Joseph for all I know.

“It makes me so fucking hot that I can barely hold back. You can’t help it, and it’s my cock that’s doing it to you, driving you out of your mind. Making you come so hard your jizz hits the pillow behind my head.”

He half-groans half-chuckles.

“I’m going to open my fly and take out my dick now. I’m going to hold the phone so you can hear the zipper, and then I’m going to fuck my fist so you can hear how slimy and wet my cock is.”

I’m breathing loudly through my nose. I try to calm down so I can listen, but it’s not easy. If I hold my breath even for a few seconds, I start feeling lightheaded. I close my eyes and hear the clink of a belt buckle followed by the faint sound of a zipper and a wet, rhythmic slapping. I groan out loud. I can’t help it. Daph looks at me funny.

“That’s it, Sunshine. Now open your pants, pull them down to your knees, bend over and spread your ass cheeks for me. I need to eat that sweet hole of yours . . .”

“Uhm, Brian? I’m in the cafeteria, and there’s like a thousand people around me.”

He sighs. “I didn’t mean literally, you silly twat.”

Oh. Okay.

“Alright, my pants are around my knees then, and I’m spreading my ass cheeks.”

Daph stares at me. It’s hard not to giggle.

“Can you feel my tongue? I’m licking your hole alternating between the flat and tip of my tongue. It’s all I can do not to touch myself. I could come just from the taste of you alone, but I’m not ready yet. Now sit down on my face and let me suck your balls. That’s it. Don’t be shy. I’ll pinch you if I can’t breathe. Wriggle that gorgeous ass of yours. I want to bury my face in your crack. You’re so fucking hot, Justin.”

My mouth is hanging open. I try to close it, but then he says something even more obscene than the last thing he said. His voice is low and gravelly, and his every sentence is punctuated by a tiny moan.

“Lean forward and suck on my dick like you’re fucking starving and I’m food. Have we sixty-nined yet? If not, I’ll show you how. It’s not as easy to do well as you might think . . . God, fuck, you’re nearly choking on my cock, but you still want more so I wrap my legs around your shoulders and fuck your mouth with every rock-hard inch. Your hole is twitching open, so I can get my tongue in deeper. You’re fucking it, completely out of control, completely open, completely ready for anything I want to do to you. And I’m going to do everything, Justin. I’m going to blow your fucking mind and take you to heaven and back again and again until you can’t take any more and beg me to let you rest.”

I make a sobbing sound. I can feel the people sitting at the nearby tables staring at me, and I don’t give one solitary flying fuck.

“Jesus,” he moans. “Fuck, you’re going to make me come. I’m not going to be able to wait until I’m in your ass. I’m going to come like this. Down your throat, fucking your tonsils. I’m going to shoot my load in your mouth. Fuck . . . . . . Oh God . . . !”

He whimpers. He actually whimpers, and then I hear him come. It isn’t an act. I know what he sounds like when he shoots. Then I hear him inhale deeply. Poppers. He’s going to come again. It’s me who whimpers this time.

“I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to fuck you till you scream. I’m going to fuck you till you can’t remember your own name. Get on your knees. That’s right. Get that ass up there; beg me to fuck you. I squirt the lube right up inside you as far as I can. I want to fill you up with it till it’s dripping down your balls. I want you tight and wet. I want to feel your greedy ass take my cock to the root. I get on my knees behind you and slap your ass with my dick. That’s it, that’s it. Just like that. Swallow my cock whole. Jesus, you’re fucking amazing! Look how you’re taking it all – taking me all in. I’m on the edge of coming again. I can’t last any longer. I enter you with one hard thrust . . . Oh . . . Oh, fuck! Push back, Justin. Faster. Milk my cock, fuck the come right out of me. That’s right. Come on, Sunshine, give it all you’ve got. Ride the fucking shit out of me. You were born to have my cock up your ass, plowing you wide open, making you see God and all His fucking angels . . . Oh, Jesus . . . I’m coming. I’m coming in your ass. I’m fucking coming inside you . . .”

I can’t help it. Fuck everybody and everything. Brian’s coming inside me without a condom, and I’m going to faint. I reach down and squeeze my dick. That’s all it takes, and I’m coming harder than I’ve ever come in my life. I must’ve made a sound because Brian chuckles breathlessly.

“Came in your pants, huh?” he says. “Well, I was lucky – got to come all over my desk. It’s a fucking mess. I’m going to have to print out new copies of the project outline I was working on. It was worth it though – more than worth it.”

I make some kind of weak, bleating sound. Words rattle around in my head, senseless and unusable. All I can say is his name . . .

“Brian.”

He laughs warmly, indulgently. “I hope you were taking notes because it’s your turn next. I’ll have you call me during a meeting or something. We’ll have to see if you can make me come in my pants.”

“Is that a challenge?” I gasp. I haven’t come down from my orgasm yet and am starting to wonder if I ever will.

“Damn right it is. Now go clean up and go to class . . . what is it?”

“Calculus.”

“Well, have fun.”

I’m shaking all over. I take a deep breath. He’ll hate me asking, but I have to do it anyway. I need to see him after what we’ve just done. I feel weird. I need him to hold me. It’s like I just lost my virginity all over again.

“Can I see you tonight?” I whisper and wince as I wait for the mocking reply.

“Why wait until tonight? I’ll take the rest of the day off and pick you up after school. You know what they say about words versus actions and all that.”

He hangs up before I can respond, and I sit there in sticky underwear grinning like an idiot.

“I’m not even going to ask,” Daph says. She stuffs her books in her bag and stands up.

I look up at her. I’m suddenly feeling more than a little embarrassed.

“Uhm, sorry about that,” I mumble. “It’s just that . . . well, Brian . . . he, uhm . . .”

“Had sex with you courtesy of AT&T?”

I laugh. “Something like that.”

I take her hand and let her pull me to my feet. Two more classes before school’s over. I can’t help but tell her.

“Brian’s picking me up.”

She raises her eyebrows. “For real?”

“For real.”

She smiles that weak smile she’s been smiling lately. I’m about to ask her what’s wrong when my phone rings.

It’s Brian again.

Twice in one day. Holy shit.

He cuts me off before I can even say hello. “Don’t forget your homework,” he says curtly and then hangs up again. As if I would. Maybe, just maybe, I’m not the only one who feels a bit shaky and overwhelmed.

I can’t ask. But I can hope.