Reviewer: cullengirl08 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2020 10:30 PM · On: New Beginnings
This started out as a good story and with each passing chapter, I loved it even more. This is now one of my all time faves!!
Reviewer: augusta70 (Signed) · Date: April 10, 2017 04:35 AM · On: New Beginnings
This was such a great story; I'm so glad you decided to keep going with it. I feel like you see some of the characters the same way I do. a86; And also that you have a really great insight into what these characters are thinking and feeling, and what their motivations are. Sometimes it seemed like you put more thought into them than the writers did. 😀 You're a talented writer, and I look forward to reading more of your stories. Thanks for sharing this one.
Reviewer: augusta70 (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2017 02:49 AM · On: Footnote
I'm really enjoying this story, but I just had to stop reading and tell you how much I loved the chapter end note for chapter 6. It is almost 2.5 months after you wrote that and things have gotten....well, many of our fears have become realities. Anyway, I just wanted to say how much I loved your end note. I couldn't agree more, and I couldn't have said it better myself. Keep writing and keep fighting.
Reviewer: chandrika (Anonymous) · Date: February 24, 2017 07:44 PM · On: The Alternative Lifestyle Experiment
great story - thank you for writing and sharing
Reviewer: Gingabread (Signed) · Date: February 24, 2017 10:34 AM · On: Footnote
I'm in love with this story. The amount is emotion in this chapter alone bright tears to my eyes. Bravo.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: February 18, 2017 02:41 PM · On: New Beginnings
What a beautiful last chapter. From the beginning till the end. The scene, in which Brian unpacked the gifts, stirred me deeply. And later your words complete it in a few words but in the best way. Gifts that show, “that they don’t just see me as Asshole Kinney, the way they used to, but as Brian; as a lover, as a man, as a father, as a friend, even, God help us, as a son in law.” – Beautiful!
Then, it’s so good to see Brian for once just happy. I asked myself in which scenes in the show he was just happy and I remember just a few short moments (the Prom maybe, at Pride when he dances with Justin, the scene on the stairs at the end of S3, maybe this scene when the name Britin arises in S5). There are really just a few and then again, something happened and everything changes again, and Brian hides behind walls, wears this mask… It’s so sad. But not with ‘’your rules” and I’m grateful for that. And I also appreciate Brian’s breakdown while looking at the card. It shows how deep his fears and hurts really run (it’s so cruel, I have no words for what his father did to him on his 5th or 6th birthday – horrible). And it’s the first time he is so open, showing this kind of vulnerability in the presence of Justin (in the show it was only with Michael). And Justin knows how to react. Another important step for them and for Brian to defeat his demons. Great scene! Great chapter! Great story!
I must admit, I was curious, so, I watched “Latter Days” - good film but it would have been better with Randy H. and Gale H. as actors :-) So, thanks for the inspiration!
I really thank you for sharing this story. You’ve given me a real good time. I love how you let them develop and behave together. I’m so glad that there are writers like you, who are so talented and who love Brian and Justin as much as I do and let them have a story with an happy ending which they deserved (I said this before – in my opinion, the show was just not suited to these two and their story). THANKS and warmest regards, a.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: February 14, 2017 05:05 PM · On: Gifts and Givers
Hi again! I will definitely read your other stories and I’m very curious about “Reverberations”. And I’m jealous! :-) You’re going to see Randy in Cabaret? And not for the first time? I would really love to see Cabaret with Randy in Berlin. Have a real good time!!!!
And again, these scenes with Gus, Justin and Brian are so amazing. First on the hill and then the Easter Bunny-surprise from Brian! So beautiful and cute! I’m so happy and content with “your rules” – It’s good to see them going through the process of healing together. And it’s good that Brian found the strength to fight against his demons.
Debbie’s appearance is just so typical. No “Happy Birthday greetings” or something similar but first an „asshole“ as greeting. I like the idea about Mel being the one responding in the only possible human way and thereby being there for Brian in some way. And well Gus, what should I say. He’s so sweet! Thanks again for another wonderful chapter! Warmest regards, a.
Reviewer: qafqueenbee (Anonymous) · Date: February 12, 2017 02:08 PM · On: New Beginnings
Great story, will this be the end or will it contue in another story.
Keep writing you are good.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: February 10, 2017 01:33 PM · On: Quite a Ride
Ita with you in both points. First, why not letting them grow up together in the same direction. But after Justin returned from L.A. Brian seems to be in some kind of midlife-crisis For me it seems as if he acts even worse… the syphilis, Brandon and then this scene where he tries these shirts which nearly looked the same- it was so pathetic, it hurts to watch Brian acting this way. And Justin who wants too much, too fast. And I haven’t understand this whole marriage discussion. Why not getting married? You don’t have to change everything so fast just because of that. For me it feels as if it would have been good for them, just some kind of small commitment, just an official sign that they belong together no matter what, no matter if Brian still tricks a little bit or if Justin goes to NY or stays in P., drawing there, maybe with an agent who supports him. Why had it to be all or nothing. Life is about growing up and also about compromises. And maybe it would have been good, giving Brian a little more trust in Justin (in case he would have gone to NY) and Justin a reason to return….
And second, if this last scene was about “we’re here, we’re queer” it really would have been nice to see them all in some other placement. And I hate that we see Michael and Ben happily together and Ted with Blake and so on. It seems as if they all develop except Brian. Why couldn’t it be a last scene where we also could be sure about Brian and Justin happily together. They went through so much in this show and in the end it seems as if it all would have meant nothing. To be honest, I want to believe in another future, but it feels as if they wouldn’t make it…
So, now this chapter. Beautiful again. I love the way you let them read each other, be sensitive and give just the right comfort to each other. The scene with the gift is so awesome and also so sad because of Brian’s childhood. And I so love to see them with Gus. This is also something which could have been more present in the show. There’s only Linds with Brian or Justin with the kids. Missed this. Thanks again for another wonderful chapter. No no, I don’t want this to end…. Warmest regards, a.
Author's Response: Thank you.
I know what you mean about how shaky a future together based on S5 seems. It's why I wrote Reverberations (which I haven't posted here yet, but I will be soon - well, in a couple of weeks, after my Toronto jaunt to see Randy in Cabaret one more time). Reverb is my alternate S5. (It's on my LJ here if you're interested http://wren-kt7oz.livejournal.com/96585.html.) I was trying to write my post S5 story Homecoming and realised I couldn't work with the history I'd "inherited" from canon S5. I just couldn't. So Reverb came into being.
And you're right. I don't think there's a single scene with Brian, Justin and Gus after the leather ball ep in S1. That's ridiculous!
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: February 06, 2017 04:52 PM · On: Hit and Miss
Thanks for these hot scenes! Together, they are so beautiful, cute and hot. And I’m glad that you let us readers knew before because I would have misunderstood Brian, too. And I could understand Justin’s reaction so well. After all these beautiful moments they’d shared, it must have been a very painful moment. Yo know what, I don’t want this story to end… Thanks for sharing!
Author's Response: Poor Justin! He's been hurt before, and he's struggling to find his balance in this new relationship. So is Brian. It's not surprising that every now and again they will both stumble a little.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: February 06, 2017 03:01 PM · On: Update
I’ve said it before but I’ve to repeat myself. I really love how “your” Brian develops and how you let him get to the point where he wants love, where he wants to love and to be loved. I think there were always a few glimpses of that Brian in the show, very few moments. But always something happened and he changed back to the “old” Brian. That he really thought he couldn’t be loved – that’s so sad. The way he thinks about Justin is so beautiful and cute – beautiful written. Thanks!
Author's Response: Thank you. Sadly, I think that Brian did get to that point in canon - I think that's exactly what the 'room in my drawers' and wanting to spend more time with Gus stuff was about. And then the canon writers tore it all away from him. Well, my universe, my rules. And rule number one - Brian gets to benefit from the things he's learned about his own heart.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: February 06, 2017 02:37 PM · On: "Us", "We", "Ours"
Their love has finally matured, they have matured, they have grown-up, they have developed at the same time, in the same direction. You’ve said it in this chapter and I agree and I thank you for that, for finally having them let this opportunity. This was something they weren’t allowed to reach in the show and I’ve missed this so much. This moment when Brian’s speaking those words is just so beautiful and I really love how you let Justin react. It’s perfect! Thanks for another amazing chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you. I wanted them to reach a point where Brian felt free to say those words. And that reaching that point would represent true liberation from much of the sadness of his past. As he says, it's his birthday present to himself.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2017 06:29 AM · On: Shadows From the Past
Hi! I have no words for it - and I think if I try, it would only destroy this beautiful chapter, it wouldn't do you or your work justice, would never be enough. I love this chapter - thanks!
Author's Response: Thank you so much. That's a truly lovely compliment and very much appreciated.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2017 05:17 AM · On: Like a Virgin
Thanks for this wonderful chapter! It’s so hot and soooo beautiful. I love how they remember both the good but also the bad things about their past and their first time. And – nearly more important – that they are able to talk about it and share emotions.
Author's Response: Thank you. Yes. I think that if they're going to have any hope, they have to be able to share their feelings. Especially about the tough times.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2017 03:16 PM · On: Baby Makers
Oh, Lindsay - At the last moment you’ve let her realize, what a shit she’s talking about. I must say, in the show I’ve always thought she wants to help Justin and Brian, helping Brian to see what’s important, but then at S5 I just didn’t get it. How could she… So I must say, it’s okay that you let her finally realize, let her see how happy Brian is because of Justin, but I must admit, I also like those stories in which she is nearly as bitchy as Michael (and gets what she deserves). Warmest regards, a.
Author's Response: Yes. I think Lindsay was prepared to "support" Brian being with Justin, as long as he was fighting it. But I think from even S4 onwards, once Brian showed he was prepared to think of himself as being in a relationship, she was uncomfortable with that.
The scene in 401(?) where she and Mel just kind of shrug off the fact that Brian has virtually destroyed his career and financial stability to bring down Stockwell seemed incredibly cold to me. Mel maybe, but Linds should surely have been more concerned. And as for S5 ... don't get me started. I wound up disliking Linds maybe even more than Mikey.
Have you read my Justin!Rage stories. You might like them. They're listed here: http://midnightwhispers.net/viewseries.php?seriesid=121
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2017 05:29 AM · On: New Beginnings
This experiment went really well, except for Michael's part in it. Even up to the end he messed it up with trying to keep Brian 'his' way. I would assume that moving to Boston would turn out the same as his move to Portland. Melanie is warming up to Brian knowing that her new baby will have someone to turn to when her bio daddy will not. Your stories always get us thinking and entertain us at the same time.
Author's Response: Thank you. What a lovely compliment. I think that the consistent feature of Michael's character in canon was his determination to keep Brian locked into who he was when they were part of the Brian and Mikey show (while at the same time reserving the right to berate him for not changing, of course).
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2017 05:16 AM · On: Test Drive
“Well, of course, it’s a young person’s car.” Hahaha – so funny. And then the test drive. What should I say… Thanks for this hot, but even more beautiful scene. They are so beautiful together, just as they were from the first moment in the show. Warmest regards, a.
Author's Response: Poor Brian! *g*
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2017 04:47 AM · On: Cavalry Charge
Oh oh, I can understand that this was painful for Brian. Justin expecting him doing some kind of pain management but I’m happy that you also let him reflect and then realize, why Justin thinks this way and that this was his “normal” way of reacting in former times. And it also shows Justin’s insecurities deep inside. What I also really like about this is the way both try to put themselves in the other to understand the motives. And it also shows, how far they have come, especially Brian, because he doesn’t exclude Justin but calls him instantly. And then – oh my god, for the first time Brian stands up against Michael, finally telling him his opinion, showing him in a very clear way where he stand with Justin! Thank you so much for this and for this beautiful end of the chapter!!!! Now, I have a stupid smile on my face! :-)
Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it. I believe that people are able to grown in wisdom as well as in knowledge and self-knowledge and that's what I was aiming for with Brian especially. It doesn't mean he's suddenly going to become all soft and feely, but it does mean that he can deal with his anxieties and insecurities better. And part of Justin's growth in wisdom and in trust is in acknowledging that process.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2017 02:14 AM · On: Gifts and Givers
Love the Easter Bunny paw print and the bit of his tail. So nice. Not so happy with Deb. Wonder what the present is.
Author's Response: Well, Deb's hurting. Having Michael move away - that's tough for her.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2017 01:34 AM · On: Quite a Ride
Gus gets to ride in the new car and now they are happy.
Author's Response: Yes. The ride was kind of a metaphor for them beginning a new journey and seeing things from a different perspective.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2017 01:19 AM · On: Hit and Miss
Well I'm glad they got that straight.
Author's Response: Yes. I think they're always going to have blow ups. But there's no reason why these need to get out of control.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 31, 2017 12:27 AM · On: Update
It's his birthday and he's decided the experiment is a success. And I get more to read. Wooopee
Author's Response: I'm so glad you've been enjoying this one.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 11:24 PM · On: "Us", "We", "Ours"
I almost wish we got to see what happens at the munchers. But knowing that the us we our is what they both want is wonderful. Love the carseat section and the telling off of the manager. Great stuff.
Author's Response: Thank you. I think that the biggest challenge they actually face is not Brian, but Justin's reluctance to accept the 'us, we, our'. He wants so much to be independent that he's forgetting that living a life together is primarily about sharing.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 09:24 PM · On: Shadows From the Past
They've finally let the bashing go.
Author's Response: Yes. It was time, I think, for them to really be able to heal.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 08:45 PM · On: Tangled Web
And the discussion about what car it should be goes on… It’s so cute!
Michael is such a shit, such a coward. And I feel so sad for Justin and Brian. And I have to repeat myself. I was so disappointed about the whole S5, but especially about the end, because it were Brian and Michael together at Babylon. As if not to grow up, not to mature and develop or to change because of people we meet and love, would be something desirable. Arghhh, thinking about it, makes me angry again and so sad. So, thanks again for your story. I love how you let Justin handle Michael, telling him how to behave and trying to protect Brian. Now, I’m curious how Brian will react…
Author's Response: The thing with Michael in this chapter had its genesis in the scene at the end of S3 where he lets Brian lend him the car. He knows that Brian is beyond broke, that he's 100 grand in debt, but he still thinks it's okay to take the car (which Brian could sell to pay off at least some of that debt) instead of buying a damned bus ticket. As so often happens, it's all about Mikey and what he wants, never about what anyone else needs. Least of all Brian.
As for the last scene of the show, I couldn't agree more. I thought it turned Brian into a totally tragic figure, trapped forever inside the bad boy superstud image rather than ever allowed to escape and grow and simply be himself.
But I actually thought it was worse than that, because to me it was saying that the only place that queers are allowed to be themselves is in the dream world of Babylon when it's dark outside and "real" people are home in bed.
I know it was meant to be a positive image of "we're here, we're queer, get used to it", but I think it failed miserably.
If I'd had the writing of just that final scene it wouldn't have been at night in Babylon, it would have been in daylight at the diner, with everyone coming and going - the girls, the kids, Kiki, the hustlers, the boys, Deb, Jenn, Daphne. So the message would have been 'we're here, we're not going to hide in dark clubs and back rooms any more, we're on the streets and in the restaurants and you need to get used to that'.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 07:57 PM · On: Car Trouble
“Ridiculously romantic” – What a beautiful moment! – First Justin’s insecurity about Brian’s reaction and then Brian’s explanation. And I’m still curious if you’ll let Justin remember the night….?!
And then this “Brian, what are you thinking about?”, the whole car discussion and Justin comparing the common car with a ring. :-) This is just such a great mix between cute, beautiful, hot and funny moments. And I’m glad that the dramatic events are not so much between them. Warmest regards, a.
Author's Response: Thank you. I think that for them the romantic moments are usually going to be non conventional ones, and definitely their actions are always going to be way more important than facile romantic gestures like flowers and chocolates. For them, Justin agreeing to accept the car is a really powerful statement of his commitment to the relationship. And maybe he was only at the point where he could do that because Brian's willingness to actually talk to him about what had been bothering him was his own statement of commitment. If any of that makes sense at all.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 07:30 PM · On: Dinner and Dialogue
“He gave me a “what the fuck?” look. – :-) Again, you made me laugh. It’s just so amazing how you picture them (just through thoughts, words, looks, gestures). How I would have loved to see those scenes in the show.
Ita with what you said about the confidence – but I think it’s goes both ways. And unfortunately they were so often at different levels. Maybe it was just coincidence and I do too much interpretation but when Justin returned from L.A. and Brian asked, why he returned, Justin says “can’t imagine” and Brian looked so hurt. Later, when Justin asks why they still trying to be together, Brian answers “Damned, if I’d know” – in German they translated both the same way “Wenn ich das wüsste” and I always thought, this was Brian’s way to give it back. I don’t know… So, I’m really glad that you give them the opportunity to develop in the same direction at the same time. And it’s amazing how far they have come. Open up, talk, Brian being finally able to trust and starts to overcome some of his insecurities a little bit. And I love the way you let them comfort each other.
I’m kind of speechless when it comes to Michael. I’m just glad that Brian haven’t answered his bull-shit and shares this with Justin. Together they are stronger. Thanks again!
Author's Response: I've always figured that the boys would often have been playful with each other. We do get glimpses of it in canon (like when Justin is trying to persuade Brian to come to Babylon with him in the Kip arc) but not nearly enough.
And I agree with you about the parallels in the two scenes you mention. They were both so hard to watch.
Long before Showtime thought up the "boys to men" slogan for S5 I really wanted to give them both a chance to grow. And I couldn't see any reason why they had to grow apart. If Brian was allowed to grow into trusting a little more, and trying to be a little more open, then Justin could also grow in not being quite as emotionally needy as he was as a teenager.
So growth could bring them closer, not force them apart.
As for Mikey - well ... they way he expected Brian to be putting his feelings first while Justin was still in the hospital and Brian was drowning in guilt (I have never forgotten the sheer nastiness of the "you always danced with Justin" line) ... there is nothing I would put past him. Nothing.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 02:21 PM · On: Like a Virgin
One word. HOT!
Author's Response: Thank you. What can I say? They inspire me.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 02:11 PM · On: Baby Makers
Mel and Lindsay are so funny. At least Lindsay got it. Now Justin has to hurry for his play date. Role play that is.
Author's Response: Yes. You can tell this was pretty much written before S4 and S5 screened. *sigh*
I really wish that the gals had been allowed to grow a little. t seemd to me they also regressed over the last couple of seasons. Or maybe their true selves just emerged. Not sure. Just know I didn't like either of them much by the end of the show.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 01:55 PM · On: Test Drive
That's some test drive. You actually take us inside Justin's head.
Author's Response: *g* Glad you enjoyed the test drive.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 07:01 AM · On: Cavalry Charge
Wahoo! I hope Mikey does sell his shit. Otherwise?
Author's Response: It really annoyed me in canon that when Deb was working all those extra hours to try to pay off their credit card debt, Mikey never considered selling things like his Wonder Woman figure.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 06:44 AM · On: Tangled Web
Wow! Justin let Mikey have it and Mikey thinks Brian's going to rescue him. I hope not.
Author's Response: I always hoped that canon Justin would let Brian have it and he never did. I've always said that I write what I would like to see in canon.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 06:23 AM · On: Car Trouble
Car shopping and Michael comes into it whether he's wanted or not.
Author's Response: Yep. Pretty much. And because certain people are highly invested in the "sweet little Mikey/ bad boy Brian" myth, they're looking for ways to make facts fit the myth.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 06:14 AM · On: Dinner and Dialogue
I mention they're not talking in the last chapter and here they are. Amazing.
Author's Response: Like with so many things, Brian needs to do things in his own way and his own time.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 05:54 AM · On: Partnership
They are still not talking or should I say telling each other what they're really thinking. Love how Mel lit into Michael.
Author's Response: Thank you. I so much enjoyed Mel taking Mikey apart myself.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 05:27 AM · On: Trust and Betrayals
Mikey is cheating Justin and Justin is trying not to put Brian in the middle, but Mikey doesn't have a problem with doing that. Can I smack Mikey?
Author's Response: Join the queue! LOL
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 04:15 AM · On: A Hard Night's Work
It was an almost thing. But at least he didn't give into temptation.
Author's Response: Yes. Monogamy (if it happens at all) will be a kind of gradual process for Brian. A matter of making choices. Every time.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 04:11 AM · On: Side Effects
My favorite line. "The experiment is still alive and well."
Author's Response: Thank you. I like that one myself.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 03:12 AM · On: Saturday Chores
Oh boy. They finally got the locks changed and I see icecream kisses in the future.
Author's Response: Indeed. For someone who was supposedly so closed off, Brian's lack of privacy in his own home was a never ending source of astonishment to me.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 03:05 AM · On: Footnote
I wish we didn't have hate crimes. We shouldn't hate because we don't know the story.
Author's Response: Yes. This was written after something similar happened to a friend of mine. *sigh*
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2017 02:40 AM · On: Results and Conclusions
Love this look of the Stockwell time, and how nasty Michael can be. I wish that Brian had gotten the key back, but if they change the locks it will be just as good. Like the change that Brian goes back rather then start his own agency because it makes sense. Really enjoyed this chapter.
Author's Response: As I've said before I disliked Michael pretty much from the first scene - he just grated on me. But what really showed me who Michael was. was the scene in 101 where he lied to Emmett about how Brian had "begged" him to go to the hospital. (As if - in his dreams maybe.) Because that cast Brian as the bad guy in Emmett's mind, when in fact exactly the opposite had happened - Brian told him to stay and get laid but Mikey a) couldn't bear to miss being in on Brian's big moment and b) was relieved to get out of an awkward situation. That little scene alone told me that Michael was all about Michael. And that in no way was he any real friend to Brian because real friends don't bad mouth you behind your back.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 29, 2017 09:54 PM · On: Newsflash
Love how Mikey got told off by everybody. Now we need to find out how Brian plans to deal with Vance.
Author's Response: I have to admit that writing this was cathartic for me in many ways. Mikey was the main one. I so wanted someone in canon to tell him off for what a prick he was being - like over the whole Debbie/Carl thing when he got them all arrested but no one really said anything.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 29, 2017 04:02 PM · On: Offers and Offences
You thought this would be the end but it's led to one hell of a story. Babylon was well written and I love when Brian went off on Mikey after Mikey called the next morning. It's about time he set Mikey straight. Shame Justin didn't listen in, it would have made him so happy. Now I have to hurry to the next chapter because someone left us with a cliffhanger.
Author's Response: Cliff hanger? Moi? Glad you're enjoying the tale. And thanks for taking the time to comment.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 29, 2017 03:32 PM · On: The Experiment Continues
It's great to see the two communicating and the experiment continuing. No jobs and talking to Sentor Baxter will lead to something good. Yeah having Mikey's friendship is so onesided. It's all take and no give. Starting up his new business means things are looking up.
Author's Response: Thank you. I thought it was a little sad that Senator Baxter just disappeared because there were a few points - particularly around Prop 14, but also the mayoral elections - where it would have been very appropriate to have her make a reappearance.
As for Mikey - well, we share the same view of Mikey.
Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: January 29, 2017 02:25 PM · On: The Alternative Lifestyle Experiment
I'd say the experiment was a success. Glad to see they will be continuing.
Author's Response: Thank you. I honestly think that my muse kind of suckered me along till I got to the point where I could accept that I was writing a long story. It was something I'd never wanted to do, never thought I could do, never even seriously contemplated doing. But almost by accident it happened.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 29, 2017 09:16 AM · On: Partnership
Michael is such an asshole. But we already knew this. :-) Melanie appeared at the right time - So Brian can stand out from this story as much as it’s possible, and Justin doesn’t have to ask himself anymore who he can ask for help with it. This is something I really love about Justin – In contrast to Michael he thinks first and then speaks or deals with situtions.
Justin always manages to cheer up Brian with small gestures or words – I love this! And I’m curious because of the “Later”. Are you going to let Justin remember?
Then there is the celebration of the partnership agreement. I’m very happy for Brian and also for Justin. They have very much risked and achieved a great deal. It’s so cute how Brian needs Justin to comfort him. It’s great that they show themselves together in public.
The birthday thing was great – a conniption - makes me laugh! They are just so great, so beautiful together, complement each other. It’s so great to imagine them sitting in this car… And it’s kind of funny but also a little bit sad that Justin always thinks about the possibility of Brian getting to Babylon, Woody’s or the Baths after those situations.
So, thanks again for sharing this wonderful story!
Author's Response: Thank you.
The thinking about the possibility of Brian getting to Babylon, etc will come up in a few chapters' time.
It made me laugh when I thought about Mel being the one who came to the rescue (I'd considered Ted and Debbie and even Emmett at one stage). I loved that concept and Brian's whole reaction and just had to use it.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2017 08:37 PM · On: Trust and Betrayals
There’s something more which I really love about the way you are letting them behave. They are so sensitive and affectionate to each other. Just by thoughts and looks and small gestures. There is so much love and I love it! And it’s so obvious how much you love them. Because you create them this way but they are the same as in the show only that there they weren’t allowed to behave this way.
For me what you are doing with Michael’s character is absolutely okay and understandable. I don’t like him very much. It annoyed me so often that he got away with his shit. And especially that Brian let him always got away with it. I think, the most awful scene for me was when he told Brian that they know about the cancer. And then his whining: “when I lost you, I don’t know what to do…” – It’s just about himself. It’s so pathetic…. So in my opinion, you characterized him very well! Warmest regards, a.
Author's Response: Thank you again.
ITA about the cancer scene. There are a few that really stick in my craw and that's one of them. Some of the others are when he says to Brian "you always danced with Justin" (while Justin's still in hospital) and of course the infamous "fell off the roof" line in 309. The snarky way he says that is just ... horrible. His best friend is happy again for the first time for months, but Mikey couldn't be happy for him because now Brian's attention will be back on Justin. Like you said - all about him. (I mean, he could have said that line happily, laughing, gloating almost over Ethan's downfall - but he didn't.) Not to mention the "should have left him there" line, and the "who would?" line and ... and ... and. Seriously, people who think that Brian is the asshole in that relationship simply don't actually listen to what Michael says and don't actually think about the implications of what he does.
You know, your comment about "it's obvious how much you love them" may well be just about the loveliest thing anyone has ever said about my stories. Thank you so much.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2017 06:29 PM · On: A Hard Night's Work
For a short moment, I felt sick. But okay, it’s just an experiment, it could go wrong. J I’ve never expected them to be monogamous although it would have been very beautiful (alone just because they could do it raw). There are these two opinion of mine. On the one side after so many years of fucking so many guys I think Brian could settle down and become monogamous because with Justin it’s so much more than just fucking but on the other hand I always understand that Brian is able to separate things from each other: fucking and making love-fucking with Justin. Whatever… If one could live this kind of relationship or whether this is a desirable type of relationship is another question… I think there was only this short time in S2 where they were both content with it. And so often it was more than obvious how much Justin was hurt… But I often wondered... After the “11 o’clock-fuck” there wasn’t much tricking in S3 and also not in S4. I often thought Brian’s tricking maybe decreased…
So, I’m really glad, that you decide to let Brian move forward also in this matter. And I really love their thoughts, their looks and interactions in this chapter. It’s amazing. Very well written! And then finally soooo beautiful! Thanks again for this awesome story!
Author's Response: Yes ... I had the feeling even in canon that Brian was losing his enjoyment of random tricking. Maybe when he was out and about at Babylon, because then it really is about the buzz of the hunt, but online hookups - not so much.
I think one of the issues for canon Brian (and Gale talked about this very early on) was that he's so influenced by what other people think. He's almost painfully self-conscious. (Zucchini man for instance.) I wanted him to be able to move on from that at least a little.
But to do that, he has to feel absolutely confident in his relationship with Justin, and I don't think he ever really had that in canon. Ethan, the Pink Posse (and Justin's complete disregard of his feelings during that arc), Hollywood ... they all undermined that confidence.
But none of that comes into play here. They've put Ethan behind them and they're building things ... including confidence in themselves and their relationship.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 28, 2017 04:40 PM · On: Side Effects
Hi again! I watched this “ We are partners” scene again, and I liked it, but I think you’re right, it seems as if there could have been something in between – but I think, for me, there were far too few scenes about / with them anyway. What am I saying, the whole show could have been only about those two. I’m a little bit crazy, I know. Whatever. :-)
I was born in Berlin and lived here my whole life, so I think I’m kind of lucky because although those terrible things as bashing someone because of his/her color or political / sexual orientation happens also here, it is still a very open city. Our former mayor is gay and he was very open with it. Was a good thing, I like him very much. So, as I said I’m frightened but there is still hope.
So, thanks for this chapter. You’re right, there were so many drastic changes and now they also have to deal with normal everyday problems which occur in every relationship at some time. But it’s important for them and another step forward. I really like how you let them deal with it… talk! This is something Brian (and also Justin) isn’t used to do and I missed it so much in the show. But what I don’t get… What is on Brian’s mind? Michael? And it’s so cute with the dinner plans, and the weekend and how Brian tells Justin about the experiment. You let them be so great together! Thanks and warmest regards!
Author's Response: "the whole show could have been only about those two" - oh, yes. For me, at least half of the other plot lines could have been done away with. Just about any scene with Michael and Ben for a start. Especially their sex scenes. Ugh! However ...
Yes ... there is something on Brian's mind ... and he'll tell Justin about it eventually.
Good to "meet" someone who's on the side of the angels in this dark time. Gives me hope and we all need that.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. They are truly much appreciated.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 27, 2017 09:34 PM · On: Saturday Chores
Great! Made me laugh - and it's just so cute! Warmest regards, a.
Author's Response: Thank you. Poor Justin. But I just can't see Brian actually telling him what he was up to.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 27, 2017 09:13 PM · On: Footnote
Hi again! I’m so glad that this is not the end! J
Those “damned allergies” made me laugh. Again, very beautiful, but also funny moments. And I really love this caring Brian who is so proud of his Justin. Reminds me of these few moments in S2 where he also cares and in my opinion it was not just because he felt he was to blame (like the bullshit Michael said).
And you are right. We have to take a stand and I hope we have the strength for this. “We live in troubled times” Here in Germany there are elections this year and we have this new right party, which became unfortunately very popular and I’m real afraid that they’ll get many votes. There are so many things to worry about and it’s real frightening, but yeah, we have to take a stand.
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed this one. It was written after an incident that happened to a friend of mine and for a long while I'd hoped that we were moving past that. Now ... now I'm frightened, to be honest. The extreme Right seems to be gaining ground everywhere and although I tell myself that it's just a swing of the pendulum, I have to admit that I've not seen anything quite like this in my lifetime and it frightens me. But it also inspires me to fight against it. We've come too far to let it all be swept away now by bigotry and ignorance.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 27, 2017 07:35 PM · On: Results and Conclusions
I love your story so far so much! There are so many beautiful scenes in this chapter… this hot but also affectionate scene at the beginning, them kissing in front of their friends, all this small tender gestures and thoughts and finally their talk at the end of this amazing chapter! But I think the scene I love the most is the repeat of the moment as they meet for the first time. This was soooo awesome and cute! And I really like how you let not only Brian reflect things but also Justin. They have both matured in their own ways and now they are at the same level. Amazing!
I’m also happy that Brian in view of Michael is sure – although he doesn’t want to choose – about his choice if he would be forced to choose. I didn’t like the character of Michael in the show so I’m very okay with the Michael you pictured.
Thanks also for your long answers to my reviews. And I agree, at the end of S3 they were equal for the first time, very open-minded and happy together. I think this continues for a short while at S4… the scene “For me it was love” is very beautiful. Or that Brian accepts the donation and then the way he looks at Justin while hugging Michael and Lindsay. They are very affectionate with each other. But then, after this bashing of D. (what’s his name again) everything changes. Justin has to work some things up and unfortunately he excludes Brian, he withdraws. And then the cancer happens and Brian excludes Justin. And then they are always at different levels I think, and it nearly drove me crazy. I was so disappointed by S5. Justin only returns because “Rage” was stopped and Brian feels this (I think) and then he starts to act foolish again. And then this terrible end, Brian and Michael at Babylon, as if all ever stays the same, no growing-up, no developments. I hate this end. There would be so much more to say about…
So, I’m really glad and that’s one of the aspects which I love about your story. You let them stay in character ( I say it again), but also let them grow up, they develop but you also show their insecurities. So, thanks again for this great story and for sharing it! Warmest regards, a.
Author's Response: Thank you. Really, thank you so much.
I agree about the beginning of S4 (although the "I thought we were partners" line has always annoyed me because I felt like we missed a scene or two where that was discussed). The way Brian is running his hands over Justin's buzz cut when Jenn is there and they're discussing selling the loft is both hot and sweet, and the way they're all over each other walking down the street after they leave Woodies is too.
And I agree totally about S5. It was shot to pieces from the moment Justin didn't get straight on a plane as soon as he heard that the movie had been cancelled.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 26, 2017 08:10 PM · On: Newsflash
Hi again! I’m so fascinated by your Brian. This is what I would have liked to see. He allows not only emotions but also consolation, which often results in strength. It’s so beautiful to see them together this way. “My own essential” – ridiculous romantic, but I love it! :-) And it suits them (I mean, in my opinion you haven’t change their characters). Thanks!
By the way, beautiful banner!
Author's Response: Thank you. The line about not changing their characters is really important to me. I love these characters. I don't want to change their essential essence, but I do want them to be able to grow and develop.
Again, I think we saw glimpses of this Brian at the end of S3 - the "possession withdrawal" scene and then the scene in Woodies when Deekins' victory is announced and he clings on to Justin and shares with him that moment of boneless relief that all their sacrifices hadn't been for nothing. Even the "I guess I really have lost everything" line - he's a little scared and he's not afraid to let Justin know that in his own Brian-esque way. But then in S4 that Brian just disappeared. And, even worse, IMO - the Justin who cared what Brian was feeling disappeared. Horrible.
Glad you liked the banner. This was one of my very first forays into Photoshop. I'm a long way from being an expert - or even particularly proficient, but I do enjoy messing about with these lovely images.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 26, 2017 07:11 PM · On: Offers and Offences
Hi again! This is such a great development between them! Thanks for this hot shower scene (Olympic event for shower fucking J ) and this beautiful scene at Babylon. I just can repeat myself – I would have loved to see this on tv! And there is another thing I’ve missed so much in the show: Thanks for a Brian who finally is not just listening to the bull-shit Michael is telling but reacting. And I really like that they complement each other not just sexual but in life and are equal. Amazing! Thanks!
Author's Response: Thank you again. I truly appreciate your taking the time to comment. For me, at the end of S3 they were together - however non defined and non conventional their relationship, they were equals (that's what the scene on the steps is meant to show us I think with Justin standing slightly higher than Brian for once) and Michael was becoming almost an after thought in Brian's life. It was Justin he expressed his true thoughts with about the CCFTT thing and Justin he celebrated Stockwell's defeat with. Then came S4 and all of that got blown apart. But in that window of time, between the scene on the streets with them more solidly together than we'd ever seen them and the idiocy of S4, Experiment was born. Glad you're enjoying.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 26, 2017 06:12 PM · On: The Experiment Continues
Hi! So, I’m back. It’s so great how you express their thoughts. They are both so cute and sometimes also funny. I really like how you picture Brian and that he’s finally ready to go a step forward. Their interactions are beautiful – “I’m glad you’re home”. And I love that you change the events after Ethan. Although Justin seemed to be content, I didn’t liked this scene in the tv show when – after this beautiful blow job – the 11 o’clock fuck appears. To me it was painful – they seemed to be so happy together and I found this unnecessary. Made me sad. So, I love your story so far – it’s beautiful, cute and also funny. Warmest regards, a
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I think that Brian at the end of S3 was clearly ready to take a step forward. He'd listened to both Justin and his own heart over Stockwell and he'd let Justin see him vulnerable and shaken in the "possession withdrawal" scene (as opposed to his bravado when discussing things with Michael). My biggest single criticism of the canon writing was that they seemed to have no idea how to create dramatic tension with BJ except to split them up and get them back together. As if trying to build a relationship in their circumstances with their friends wouldn't provide its own tensions.
And ITA about the "my 11 o'clock fuck" scene. It's hard to understand what's going through Brian's head there. Testing the "I know what to expect" line, maybe. Still a little wary after the whole Ethan thing. Not sure. But I agree, it's an uncomfortable scene.
Reviewer: LegendaryBritinKinlor (Signed) · Date: January 24, 2017 10:30 AM · On: New Beginnings
This was fascinating and beautiful. I love how you've written Brian and all the changes he goes thru. To know when this was written makes it even better to me. That it's Anti-Mikey makes even sweeter I love the way you wrote all of that. I'll never ever be a fan of Mikey and the way he treated Justin in canon drives me completely nuts lol.
The way you've developed not only Brian and Justin but Brian and Mel's relationship was lovely. Brian and Mel making peace with each other in canon was something I'd always wished for and am still sad didn't happen in the run of the show. Mel is a favorite character for me she always will be, Linds not so much (but that's another story lol).
I'm currently dealing with a painful writers block for my lone chapter story. Reading this I think may have helped a bit I'm hoping I might be able write again finally when I am home from work in a few hours. I'll credit you for the new chapters if and when I get them posted.
Well done!
:)
Author's Response: Thank you so much. Obviously I agree about Michael. I disliked him from virtually the first scene. Seriously, by the "every nine seconds" line he was already annoying me and by the end of ep 1 I truly truly disliked him. (It was not just how he treated Justin - which reminded me of a hormonal 14 year old girl - but how he lied to Emmett about Brian "begging" him to go to the hospital.)
Glad you liked the Brian/ Mel thing. It's really what I wanted in canon too and I found it so frustrating that in S4 and S5 Mel became more and more strident with less and less reason - at least as far as Brian was concerned.
But at the end of S3 I still had hopes.
Hope it does help you with your writers' block. I know that feeling only too well.
Thanks again.
Reviewer: aglaja5 (Signed) · Date: January 23, 2017 11:22 AM · On: The Alternative Lifestyle Experiment
Hi! I started reading your story yesterday in the morning and couldn’t stop myself until I reached chapter 5. It’s great. And I think it’s funny because when I started reading you’ve only posted one chapter and it seems as if this would be all. And I was content but thought I would have loved to see how Brian continues his experiment. And then there were five more chapters and I was really happy J And now I see you’ve already published 19 chapters!!!! I’m looking forward to read your story but I think I’ll re-read it, also to give you reviews which you deserve so much! I started reading another story yesterday but after finishing this I'll be back!
I like this idea about Brian starting this experiment – I would have loved to see this in the tv show, but okay. It’s great how you wrote this first chapter as a journal or a diary. It’s sometimes so funny… “all I wanted to do was climb into bed and make … Shit! see what I mean? “make love” for fuck’s sake! It’s fucking. Just fucking. Isn’t it?” And then there are so many beautiful moments… “Just Brian is enough for him. Which means that, for the first time in my life, I feel like just Brian is okay” – I really love your writing-style and the way you let not only Brian but also Justin behave. So, maybe there will be more than 19 chapters? :-) Just at the moment I see 24! Warmest regards, a.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. There are 25 chapters in all and they are all posted now. Hope you enjoy them. :)
Reviewer: nkaur550 (Anonymous) · Date: January 22, 2017 03:59 PM · On: Results and Conclusions
Omg.....amazing...the last part made me laugh...superb...loved it.
Author's Response: Thank you. Some of my favorite canon moments is when the boys are playful together. We didn't see a lot of it, but there are some moments and they are so sweet and funny (and very often hot!).
Reviewer: nkaur550 (Anonymous) · Date: January 22, 2017 03:14 PM · On: Offers and Offences
Wow...brian is realy open in this...awesome.
Author's Response: Thank you. I've always thought that Brian was more self-aware than most people give him credit for. He just doesn't express what's going on in his head.
But from the moment he came out with the "that's so like you" line in 308, I think that with Justin at least he was ready to start opening his mouth about his feelings. The "no fiddle music" line is practically Brian shouting his feelings from the roof top.
In canon they chose to have him button up again. I went the other way and allowed him (and Justin) to try being a real grown up who is capable of learning to express himself emotionally a little better. Glad you're enjoying.
Reviewer: nkaur550 (Anonymous) · Date: January 22, 2017 02:39 PM · On: The Alternative Lifestyle Experiment
Wow...this is excellent....thank u for sharing.
Author's Response: Thank you. Glad you enjoyed.
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