Reviewer: templeton_ma (Anonymous) · Date: November 01, 2009 10:31 AM · On: Chapter 14

Just beautiful. I don't know how else to describe this chapter.

Steven - the relatively short appearance of him in this chapter actually painted this character in so much detail artfully. I found myself actually falling a bit for the guy, which took me completely by surprise since I am 200% with the Brian camp.

Justin - I love the way how the realization came. I would use the word dramatic to describe it. But it was more like mature. Yes. The whole chapter gave me a sense of maturity.

Linds & Cynthia. I love the little interaction in Brian's office. These are the 2 blonde female in Brian's life who could touch his heart.

I have a hunch on who that decision maker behind the scene is. Although I think you may actually surprise me.

Finally, I whole-hearted thank you, for giving me this pleasure to read your story.

Author's Response:

Thanks for your comment and your support.  It's always lovely for a writer to hear that they've managed to make a reader look at something from a slightly shifted perspective.

As for the decision maker behind the scenes, I should say that I haven't actually tried to conceal that person's identity, from my readers.  I'm pretty sure that you and several others have already figured it out.  But the point is that the cast of characters has not.  When the identity is revealed, THEY are going to be surprised, possibly confused, and maybe even a bit angry.  What fun, huh?

And though I want to tell you that you're very welcome, it actually should be me thanking you for your enthusiasm and your support.

CYN

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: November 01, 2009 07:11 AM · On: Chapter 14

another great chapter-  thanks for the update-  so many thoughts run through my head as I read the story-  things that have to be taken care of- etc-  can't wait to read the next installment

 

sfscarlet

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.  I hope it continues to please you.

CYN

Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: October 25, 2009 08:52 PM · On: Chapter 13

See...everyone is commenting on your writing. The details that you provide kind of remind me of Toni Morrison. She provides a lot of details. I am thankful that you don't provide as much stream of consciousness as she does. I always find her writing hard to read because she goes in to so much detail and then goes into much detail in a stream of consciousness.

Keep writing. I think it is a testament of your writing that people who really don't comment all that often are commenting on your story. I hope you are encouraged by that.

I agree with the poster who put your writing on par with Gina Marie, anwamane, Britin and saphire. BTW, if any of the mentioned authors are reading this, I am patiently awaiting updates. Also, Mouse and Luv_Sam have been missing for a while. {smirk}

Reviewer: Hotesse (Signed) · Date: October 25, 2009 07:29 AM · On: Chapter 13

I just read it again...

... and I think my brain is playing tricks on me. It's to dangerous to think about Brian and Justin right now, so I started thinking about Dr. Keller.

I'd hate to mess with your story but I'll just reduce it to saying how much I starting to like Matt. I feel so much sorrow for him and Daniel, I wish they would not have been broken up by their tragity. I wish Matt could find his love again, it's not healthy to shut down and just be the mean genius... although ofcourse that will save Brian...

I'm off to bed, It's night time on my side of the wonder ball.

<3 Edda

Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: October 25, 2009 01:23 AM · On: Chapter 13

I'm speechless.  Seriously, I don't know where to begin but I have to say something!  Ok, first, what amazing imagery you weave to bring to live such mudane places and situations!  Little things like the scene in the Chiefs office, with the smoke billowing around the occupants, coming from the Chiefs cigar(cigarette?) while the no smoking sign goes ignored. Brilliant way of telling us something about the character without having to go into details. It tells us he's a man who lives by his own rules and does things for his own reasons.  Loved that.  And the scene in the ICU, how you describe the inneer workings of that place was very illuminating.  And of course Justin's scene on the balcony.  Surrounded by all that natural beauty, including the 'beauty' standing on the balcony next to his. (sooo Justin by the way. It's why he and Brian are so perfect together. Many think they are so opposite, but when it comes to sex, most people don't realize how alike they are. Both vivacious in their hungers for it.  Only Justin, imo, is more likely to want monogomy simply because he's a greedy selfish bastard who is use to getting the best, and who's better than Brian? lol)

The fiddler is behind this?  NO! I cannot believe it!  Something is very amiss here.  I think who ever is behind it hacked into the fiddler's account to send that image to shield their  true identity.  Ethan was bad, but a vicious psychopath?  I don't think so.  Plus, like Karl said, this shit has been brewing since the bombing. That was never sloved.  I'm glad the Chief agreed to bring the feds into this, and I can't wait to meet this new character, Alexandra!

I love the way you not only stick to cannon, but give your interpertation of why things happened in the show. Like Michaels feelings about Brian and why he acted like he did. Having him acknowledge his own jealously, his love. Like Lins said, that doesn't make him bad, it makes him human. 

Matt, again, is stealing my heart! Love the backstory you are giving us of him. Love that he and Brian had/have this amazing friendhship/bond that no one ever knew about.  Though I'm not surprised, that is soo in character with Brian.   No one truly knows all of who Brian Kinney is, do they? He shows only bits and pieces of himself to different people. 

This story just keeps getting better and better.  And I'm glad you didn't have Justin just crumbling at the sight of Brian's mangled body in that email.  Yes, it shocked and sickened him, but his first thought was of Brian, not his own pain.  That showed true strenght!  I was very happy to see that.  He felt the blow and took it when he opened that email, then got up and made the call. Now he's on his way home. Angry and determined. That is who Justin is to me.   Who he was always from the first I saw him. This amazing kid who stood up to anyone, family, friends, school officials, anyone who would deny him 'right' to be exactly who he was, or who would try to stop him from getting what he wants. He's a fighter, and I'm glad to see that fighter emerging!  Great fucking job!

Reviewer: TaraN (Anonymous) · Date: October 23, 2009 04:26 AM · On: Chapter 12

Please disregard my previous comment. It had too many typos at critical points to make it understandable. Hopefully this is better.

As many know, I rarely comment on a story. That said, I am commenting on this one. I kept seeing this story in the "Most Recent" area. I never read it because it seemed kind of slow. Occasionally, I would check it out to see if it picked up or I would read the comments. When the story reached chapter 10, I happened to read the comments and was wondering what all of the fuss was about. Hence I read chapter 10. It was the only full chapter that I read of the story. So it was my first chapter read in the story.

My initial reaction was that of many who criticized the chapter. Mind you, I hadn't read the story. I found it disturbing and ugly. Actually, I read it late at night and it gave me nightmares (I know this is silly for an adult, but a lot of disturbing things give me nightmares. I stay away from news magazines that have the "whodunit" aspect for this reason).

The next day, I went back to the comments. I saw people like Gina Marie, one of the few whose stories I comment on, speaking positive about the story. There was another poster who listed the authors that they like to read here, and they were all my favorite authors too.

So I realized that I was missing something. I went back and read the story. I went backwards starting with chapter 11 (you had posted it by then). Being linear is overrated...what can I say! Chapter 11 gave a ray of home with Dr. Keller. After reading chapter 10, I really thought that you were going to leave the beautiful Brian Kinney scarred, hideous and broken. Chapter 11 gave some indication that would most likely NOT be the case. So I continued to work backwards and things started to make sense to me.

After reading backwards, I then asked myself why I was so disturbed. I am not one, who has issues with Brian being the "Hurt" in a "Hurt/Comfort". So what was the deal? For me, it was the fact that "in real life" I couldn't see Brian recovering physically or emotionally from this. Destruction of his body and face as described appeared to be permanent to me. It was upsetting. In my opinion, that is what people are responding too, despite the foreshadowing that you seem to give the reader. It took a minute to get over this. Then I remembered a model who about 20 years ago had her face cut up in a very horrible way by a man who she rejected. She had plastic surgery and actually went back to modeling.

So, I am now looking forward to a recovered Brian Kinney with a Justin Taylor by his side. But just as much as the ending, I am interested in the journey. So please do not stop writing. To often it seems that writers get to critical junctures in a story and then stop writing. I don't want to see that.

As for your writing style itself. It is very descriptive and eloquent. The scene in chapter 11 where you described the ocean and Emmett being the beacon was almost poetic. You are a solid writer with a great.

I also like you showing an Emmett/Brian relationship. That was one that I wanted to see explored. They seemed to have great respect for each other. I also liked the Ted/Brian bond in the show. Secondly, Emmett seemed to be the one closest in age to Justin. Hence those two seemed to have a bond. I wanted to see that explored more in the show. You seem to be addressing these issues (minus Ted/Brian) in the story.

Reviewer: manuela (Anonymous) · Date: October 21, 2009 05:55 AM · On: Chapter 1

I don't usually read WIPs because I love to read a story alltogether and because I'm always afraid they won't get finished. But I've been eyeing your story for a while and today I decided to start reading it. And I'm so glad I did! I'm really liking it! You have a way to describe what happens and also your characters' emotions that hits me strongly. Especially the way you described Brian, through his actions, his inner turmoils and through the eyes and thoughts of the other characters.

The story at first went slow but I don't mind it at all, because I love long stories that take their time to make you know and understand their characters and where they stand and what they're feeling.

I hope you'll update soon because I'm loving the story. Thank you for keeping Lindsay and Michael as close as possible to what they were in canon: friends of Brian, people who love him, in spite of not being always perfect.

I hope Justin finds out soon. I have the feeling Brian will need him to come out of all of this. And Justin needs Brian to come out of that limbo he seems to be in right now.

Keep up the good work and don't let a few negative comments get to you. Violence is not everyone's cup of tea but I read tons of fics that had it in it and in spite of what happened to Brian being quite crude and terrible, you wrote it in such way that Brian still kept his dignity, which is something that not all writers manage to do.

I anxiously wait for the next update.

Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: October 19, 2009 10:49 AM · On: Chapter 12

Another excellent chapter. I am so glad you are not rushing this story.  (you do know I always read your updates at least twice!) There is just so much to absorb with all these wonderful characters!  The highlight in this story for me is Ben's thoughts and his dream. So much to think about there.  The inner conflict...the 'not explored' feelings.  Very well illustrated in this chapter.

 I am also so happy with how you are portraying Michael in this story and his relationship to Brian.  There are a lot of anti-michael people, I'm not one.  My stories show b/m's friendship as special. They share a special bond that is unique to them, and keeps them forever best friends.  You are doing the same in your story and I appreciate it.  I do understand though the anti-michael sentiment out there.  The QAF writers, imo, fucked up the characters towards the end. They ruined Brian's character by making him more 'soft', for lack of a better word. He was, again imo, so ooc towards the end as was Michael's character. He was nothing like the devoted friend, (of course that devotion came at a price, an Michael was not always a perfect friend, but he DID love Brian), he was mean and spiteful and jealous.   During the first few seasons Michael was the only one who stuck by Brian when the gang all turned against him. He sided with Brian when Justin left him, (everyone else couldn't give a shit about his feelings) and with the stockwell situation.  He didn't like what Brian was doing, but he didn't turn like a rabbid dog on him, as some others did!  btw, I also think you have Deb dead on in your story. She never really 'got' Brian and was not always fair to him, but she did love him, as a mother loves a son who is always a disappointment to her.

I would have like to see a more passionate, (agian for lack of better word) Justin in this chapter. Like he was when he was telling Steven about his feelings for Brian, and how they would never change. I would have liked to see his thoughts follow more in that vain.  He seems more... resigned, in this chapter.   I much prefer 'fighter' Justin. 

His anger towards Brian for 'not bothering to talk to him' and 'taking it upon himself to know what was best' didn't ring true to me.   Justin is much stronger than that. HE decides for himself! He absolutely could have pushed more, been more communicative on his part.

His speech to Steven in a previous chapter reflected more of an independant, strong Justin. The kind of person a man like Brian Kinney could love and respect.  He was admant in telling Steven, his boyfriend, that he would never give up on Brian but yet he knew, or more acurately, believed that Brian would never be happy in a relationship with him until he conquered the world. Only then would he accept their love and not feel that he somehow held Justin back from his own greatness. And that was why Justin was continually striving to do just, that. Conquer the Art world. All for Brian.  That is how Justin would think, imo.  His thoughts on the plane didn't jive with me on that score.

However, that being my only problem with this chapter, I will repeat, this is by far one of my favorite stories to date! Your writing is compelling, and you never fail to deliver one hell of a thought provoking update! As always, I anxiously await your next installment.

 

Author's Response:

Ahhh, let me tell you that a writer always loves hearing praise.  But even more, it is incredibly wonderful when a reader takes the time to read and comment in depth, to speak up and say "This works for me, or this doesn't."  How else do we learn where we've succeeded, and where we haven't.  Thank you so much for caring enough to do so.

As it happens, I generally agree with you about Michael.  The friendship between him and Brian was something extraordinary, and the writers really did fuck up in the final season.  When I watch the series up until the end of season 4, I am always touched with wonder over how the two of them managed to navigate so many mine fields and preserve their relationship, always finding their way back to each other in the end.  I actually hated the breach that happened in season 5, so I tend to ignore it. I also agree about Ben, although there were moments when he proved himself to be just as fallible and human as anyone else.  But isn't that what QaF is all about - flawed, human, imperfect individuals who are so much more than the sum of their parts.  Also agree about how Michael sees Brian more clearly than anyone else.  Most of the time I love the gang, but when they were all so eager to condemn Brian and embrace Ethan, I frankly just wanted to smack them, because - AHEM - I hated the fucking fiddler from the get-go and wanted to shake Justin for being so blind and gullible.

As for Justin in this chapter, I do know what you mean, because I feel the same way.  But this Justin isn't the REAL Justin; he isn't as we've come to expect him to be.  He is in the process of trying to become the man he wants to be, but he doesn't yet know how to process everything that's happened.  So far, he's drifting, but I promise you, he will find himself again.  Fighter Justin is nearby, and he will resurface.  Soon.

As for the rest of them, I hope to continue to flesh them out, to point out their flaws and their assets.  Of them all, I can usually find good points and bad.  I confess that the ones I have the most trouble writing sympathetically are Melanie - who tends to piss me off royally sometimes - and Ted who wallows a little too much in self-pity to suit my fancy.  But I hope to treat them fairly at least (or to get in a few licks to compensate for the moments when they irritqted me the most).

Thank you for caring enough to speak out, and I sincerely hope you hang in there to watch it all come together.

You're true peach of a reviewer.

CYN

Reviewer: Annie85 (Anonymous) · Date: October 19, 2009 07:56 AM · On: Chapter 12

As painful as it is to see this story played out, I eagerly await each installment. And as much as I hate to say it, right now it's probably best that Justin's away from Pittsburgh and those creeps who are responsible for torturing Brian. I hope Steven or someone else tells him the truth soon though, because he deserves to know. And I'm sure he's not going to be the least bit happy when he does find out. Honestly though, who would be?

I'm curious as to who Brian's attackers are, and what he and Justin might've done to piss them off that badly. Whoever they are, they're obviously royally messed up, because you can't do something like that to someone and be considered normal.

BTW, as dark as this story is, it's currently one of a handful or so that I always look forward to.

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for your lovely comment.  And you're keying in something that I hoped my readers would understand - that it IS better for Justin to be away right now, that it's what Brian would want if he were awake.  But it's also going to piss him off royally once he finds out what has been kept from him.  Ain't conflict wonderful?

As for who could have done this, unfortunately the world is full of cruelty and viciousness, and Brian hasn't exactly led a circumspect life.  I hope, in the end, the whole plot will make sense and hold together.

Thanks for following along.

CYN

Reviewer: Hotesse (Signed) · Date: October 15, 2009 08:06 PM · On: Chapter 11

Dear Cyn.

The reason I have not commented earlier is that I started reading your story the day before yesterday. I will now make a multiple comment. I work full time and study full time also so per definition I do not have time to read much and I kind of promised my self not to allow more MW authors inside until after my exams. But I fell. Still falling...

I read it until way to late Tuesday, I read it on the bus, I read it at work when my boss was at a meeting, I read it on the bus again, on the bus stop until my battery died. Then I read it at school. Yesterday I read it for so long in the morning that I missed the bus and had to borrow a friends car to get to work. I then skipped dinner at school (I have to lose weight anyway). I read until 2 am last night and woke up at 6 am my body and mind wanting more. But notice I slept and slept well actually.

I guess the reason why I'm giving you such a detailed insight in to my life is that I am shaken. Not by the story, which is among the best stories in here, but by some of the comments. I actually have been wanting for a while to ask MW to add a function where you can hide the "fluffy bunny no sense for grammar or spelling" authors or categorize them away.  Because some people want to waste their time on that. SJMPETS3 should take her 3 pets for a walk in the park, if she ever gets out of the house. BluvsJ should stop reading too and start again when s/he actually learns to read.

I found that this story was heavy and slow in the beginning but never boring more like a baroque furniture or panting and mind you I am a biologist not an artist but I could FEEL your writing on so many levels I see the round shapes in it and smell it. I love it. I love how you brought original character in to the picture, and you do write well about the original characters, diving into their individual depths and shallowness. I fully disagree with BluvsJ that you only made Emmet likable, you sure did, but you made all of the likable and still managed to stay true to canon in Mel and Michael and I loved how Debbie was looking in her mind for something she thought she should see but then... blank. Wonderful!

I've been reading MW and other QaF FanFic for over a year now. This story is among the best I've read in MW along with the good work of Gina Marie, Britin, Indigo556, Anwamane13, Doppelganger, Violette7, Sapphire, andthe two E's: Edom and Elyxer. I might be forgetting someone but I hope I'm not finished reading all the good stuff. I look forward to reading you work in the future. And as for one comment that made my brain cringe: Your story is violent but should never be banned from MW not underminig the horrors of your chapter 10 but "Forgive me Father" by Liberty is still the ugliest story I ever read in here.

I can only hope I will someday be able to write like this but until then I will not disgrace MW with something that is mediocre. I happy that I started reading this story and look very much forward to neglecting my exam reading for this story!

There are a handful of writers in here that have had such an effect on me that I would like to meet them one day (actually tryed to meet one when I was in NYC this June but signals got crossed unfortunately) You are definitely one of those writers

Have wonderful day and stay tuned on that the nasty comments often origin in people who just don't understand quality.

Edda, Reykjavik Iceland.


PS. I will wait patiently for the next chapter (actually be so busy that I might not go to MW until November. This expecting you to go on and not listen to nasty comments from people who should read something else or watch "real TV" like one of the brains commented about. I am still lol on that one.

Author's Response:

Dear Edda,

I can't tell you when I've been so touched by a reader's comment.  Let me tell you that if ANY writer ever claims not to be delighted with remarks like this, you can be sure he or she is delusional.  It is enormously reassuring to know that someone has been affected so profoundly by my scribbling.  I wish I had time to respond with the same degree of attention to detail that your review provides, but I'm sorry to sqy that's not possible at the moment.  Real life too often gets in the way of waht we love doing best, doesn't it.

And I thank you so much for defending me.  It means so much.  But let me reassure you about one thing.  Readers are perfectly free to like or dislike, to love or hate my work, and to say so, but they are NOT free to dictate what I write.  This is not my first time at the rodeo, and I've faced worse, and have never once even thought about abandoning a story or changing what I write because someone might be displeased.

I plan to go right on writing, and I hope you continue to enjoy the journey.  Again, my deepest thanks. Oh, and by the way, I think you write quite well, and would not be surprised if you have some lovely stories to tell.

CYN

Author's Response:

Dear Edda,

I can't tell you when I've been so touched by a reader's comment.  Let me tell you that if ANY writer ever claims not to be delighted with remarks like this, you can be sure he or she is delusional.  It is enormously reassuring to know that someone has been affected so profoundly by my scribbling.  I wish I had time to respond with the same degree of attention to detail that your review provides, but I'm sorry to sqy that's not possible at the moment.  Real life too often gets in the way of waht we love doing best, doesn't it.

And I thank you so much for defending me.  It means so much.  But let me reassure you about one thing.  Readers are perfectly free to like or dislike, to love or hate my work, and to say so, but they are NOT free to dictate what I write.  This is not my first time at the rodeo, and I've faced worse, and have never once even thought about abandoning a story or changing what I write because someone might be displeased.

I plan to go right on writing, and I hope you continue to enjoy the journey.  Again, my deepest thanks. Oh, and by the way, I think you write quite well, and would not be surprised if you have some lovely stories to tell.

CYN

Reviewer: Steph (Anonymous) · Date: October 14, 2009 12:33 AM · On: Chapter 1

I don't usually review or comment but I just felt I had to say this story is wonderful. I can't wait for each update, please keep up the great work! I read alot of QAF and this one is right at the top of the list of really good ones.

THANKS!!!!!!!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. It's always a pleasure to hear that someone is enjoying my work.

CYN

Reviewer: Tamara (Anonymous) · Date: October 13, 2009 06:01 AM · On: Chapter 10

You keep writing what you feel. I don't remember all this anger when Justin has been the victim of beatings and rapes. Maybe they weren't this bad but if you don't like don't read. Go read the stories of rich B/J ruling the universe. This is someones interpretation of something and you do not have to agree with it. All the negative comments aren't necessary.

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for the encouragement - and I'm with you.  I don't understand why there should be so much outrage when Brian is the victim, rather than Justin.  If a reader is going to be horrified over the violence, shouldn't it apply across the board.  Anyway, you're exactly correct.  Nobody has to read it - and I just don't write fluff.  I feel that these characters deserve more than that, although fluff certainly has its place and is lots of good fun.

It's just not MY style.

CYN

Reviewer: judi (Anonymous) · Date: October 13, 2009 12:22 AM · On: Chapter 10

I can't believe you left the story in this totally gross place!  Come on! We need some relief!  Poor Brian.

 

 

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: October 11, 2009 09:26 PM · On: Chapter 10

OMG.... if you wanted Brian dead.. why didn't you have him crash into the truck???  why torture him to the point that even if he does live... he will be totally destroyed both mentally and physically??? Do you hate Brian and all the characters so much.. that the only one that you made the least bit likeable is Emmett??? I realize you have the right to write whatever you want....but.... I don't have to read it......  I am sure there are others that feel the same.....

Author's Response:

Hmmm, is there an echo in here?  :)  To reiterate, you are certainly free to stop reading whenever you like, and to dislike it as iintensely as you like.  To each his own, and if others feel the same, they are just as free to express their displeasure and disdain by simply not reading.  However, just to be clear, to admire someone is to have some inkling of how strong they are, and I apparently believe in Brian a hell of a lot more than some of you do.  But that's just my estimation, and you are free to disagree.

Thanks for the input.

CYN

Reviewer: scrub13 (Signed) · Date: October 11, 2009 12:02 PM · On: Chapter 10

You aspire to hit the readers emotions on a violent and disturbing level. At that you succeed in spades. In creating interstesting characters and a compelling storyline you fail dramatically. The last chapter more than hit the mark in imagery and the remainer of Matthew was there, It was masterful and sickening. And if the story had direction, it would work. Being dark or violent isn't a bad thing. In fact most of my favorite fics have a sinister edge to them. But after 10 long, brutal chapters I'm at a loss as to what I'm supposed to feel for anyone other than Brian. His is the only plot that has advanced at all and it's tough to read, much less enjoy. Plus the abuse he took was more than most humans could withstand. He'll be traumatized for years to come at best.

My problem with this story has nothing to do with the violence, but rather with the lack of honest emotion between the characters. So now we have Brian physically and psychologically damaged, Justin emotionally crippled and basically looking for any guy who'll put up with him mooning after Brian while supporting his art and expensive needs, and the rest of the gang following the same old tired script of Brian-bad, Justin -good. Well except for Daphne, the wise all knowing friend who sees through the BS.

Only Emmett has stepped outside his normal comfort zone and stood out as interesting. His intereactions with Brian have been similar to Ted's in season 5. Emmett was my favorite character in the show so seeing him highlighted is very cool. 

Do I want to know who did this to Brian and why? Yep, I want to see them caught. punished, and suffer at the hands of Brian himself. I want to see Brian rise from this and be strong again. But...do I care a whit about a single character whose butts are currently sitting in NY? Not one single iota.

 

Author's Response:

Thanks for such a cogent and thought-provoking comment. I welcome all input, positive and negative, as it helps me determine whether or not I'm hitting the mark I set for myself.  Obviously, that;s not happening with you, as you are unable to become emotionally invested in my story.  I would say that I hope you will change your mind, but I think it's unlikely as I've always found that, for me, I either get caught up early in a writer's vision, or I don't get caught up at all. But thanks for giving it a chance and for taking the time to voice your opinion.

CYN

Reviewer: meme (Anonymous) · Date: October 11, 2009 09:40 AM · On: Chapter 10

Brain is not a God---have anyone ever seem God? He not (fictional)perfect he can get

hurt and at time have hurt  let’s face it both brain and Justin have hurt each other so

deeply  that nether can love anyone but each other so much with that said………..

I’m for one am glad that brain got his ass kick (of course not the way that it happen) no one should go through that but if you watch real TV and look around it happening every day There’s good and bad love and hate fighting all around us no matter who you are the question is when will it stop never.

 

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for commenting.  I think you have a unique point of view, and I appreciate your input.  I don't know if we can ever expect this kind of violence to ride off into the sunset, but I do believe that exploring it, and exposing the reasons behind it, are the best ways to make people question and react and try to make sure it doesn't happen again.

CYN

Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: October 11, 2009 09:24 AM · On: Chapter 10

Ok, everyone just breathe......  First, and formost, CYN, PLEASE do not stop posting this story! It's a work of art.  Dark yes, but masterfully crafted.  To the anonymous poster who said don't post this story here? Fuck em. THAT pissed me off big time!  For someone who supposedly is for the protection of gay and civil rights they seem to have no problem in wanting to take your rights to express yourself away!  Total bullshit.   Not to mention hypocritical of them.

Having said that, I totally understand people's strong reactions to this chapter. That should make you feel good!  Good writing/story telling should evoke strong emotions!  Be it love, hate, fear, disgust, etc.  This chapter was extremely disturbing and people reacted.  Why? Because they actually 'feel' Brian's pain and are angry at those people who did that to him.  Of course they blame you, because you did this to him, but that's the price of art, is it not?   

As for the violence, has anyone here read Agony of the Codemned? By Draccone?  Very edgy and dark. I believe Justin kills Brian in that one, but becuase they are both vampires, it's accepted. It's 'make believe'.  The violence in this story isn't as bad as in that story, but more powerful because it's more realistic. It could happen, and as you pointed out, has happened.  But people should also realize this is just as 'make believe' as A vampire story.  

This doesn't have to be political, we shouldn't make it about that. It's about a story.  A sad, deeply dark story that some people don't like.  Often times I will read the end of a book (ashamed to say) before I buy it becaues I can't abide sad endings.  That's my choice. You labled this well.  The problem is no one, (in my memory anyway) has ever posted something like this before on this site.  So people are shocked.  Others put warnings like violence, etc., but your story (and you're writing in particular) is so descriptive that the violence seems almost too real. And that is what people are reacting to. I think now that everyone knows what to expect from you, those who do not like your style of writing may move on, and others, like myself, will anxiously wait until you post again.

 

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: October 11, 2009 06:11 AM · On: Chapter 10

holding you to that 'soon as possible' update.

this was really great...and they've got a endeta against justin too!

thi was a real great chapter

feroza

Reviewer: scrub13 (Signed) · Date: October 05, 2009 04:53 AM · On: Chapter 9

I agree with some of the others that the relationship between Brian and Justin is very disfunctional and not healthy for either. Brian seems to get it that Justin often uses Brian as a fall back when other relationships don't work out. His parents, his dad, Ethan, LA, other men, etc.... Justin came back to Brian, but not by choosing him rather by default.

"He's never coming, you know," he whispered. "And I'm tired of watching the door, watching the clock, watching . . . time slipping away from me."

He's using Brian not being there as an excuse to go with the other guy...nothing about loving this guy or truly wanting this life. It's convienient, so that's the way Justin goes. This Justin is years away from knowing himself and being brave enough to be in an equal relationship. He's not a lost soul, he's just sad and passionless.

"Letting go" stories are tough, but you've really nailed the angst of love lost. Brian has a core group of friends who will stick with him and the danger aspect is a bonus.

Reviewer: meme (Anonymous) · Date: October 05, 2009 04:15 AM · On: Chapter 9

I like darker the more the better,  Good Justin and Brain should be apart they really do have a sick relationship  they very much love each other but, I will comment once I read the next chapter………..

Reviewer: Anno53 (Anonymous) · Date: October 03, 2009 08:19 AM · On: Chapter 8

This was a wonderful update. I'm very satisfied to read that Justin is agonizing just as much as Brian is. I'm glad Justin was clear with Steven.

Reviewer: black sheep (Anonymous) · Date: September 29, 2009 09:21 AM · On: Chapter 1

I am in love with your story!! i dont want to hurry perfection but please write more!! i dont know how you do it but each chapter is just like the perfect balance of everything. You aare a really gifted writer

Reviewer: scrub13 (Signed) · Date: September 20, 2009 09:28 AM · On: Chapter 7

At the risk of being overbearing, I would like to make one more comment. Feel free to tell I'm out of line. I completely agree with you that life isn't simple or quick and I love stories that reflect that. Angst and turmoil is why we still read these stories and others. Half of my saved stories make me cry, I'm a sucker for romances with obstacles the size of the Alps.

But I do think you have changed Brian and Justin in a fundamental way that has caused confusion. It's as if you flipped them completely. Brian is engaged with his friends and showing emotion. He was terrified for Em and the friends are rallying with him.  Justin is closed off and doing what everyone expects him to do. He's in a relationship because it seems to be what's expected of him. He's not happy, but is afraid to rock the boat and risk his heart.

 

Author's Response:

Oh, I don't disagree that there have been some changes, although I don't see them as fundamental.  I mean, think back to moments within the series, where there were threats against the members of the group.  Brian always reacted to protect those he cared about, although he was the first to deny his motives.  In this case, for example, he will be quick to point out that he's just protecting his interest in the business of Babylon.  The difference, I hope, is that some of the friends may begin, finally, to understand the man behind the image - which he will not initially like because it's what he's fought against for so long. And some of those friends, I promise you, will prove to be just as shitty and just as judgemental as they've always been.  And Justin was always vulnerable to being manipulated, mostly because of his youth.  At this point in the story, they are both adapting to changes in their lives which neither of them really wanted.  Brian has always sacrificed himself for those he loves, no matter what he claims, and Justin has always been quick to doubt that he could be what Brian ultimately needed.  They have both been pushed and shoved and maneuvered into taking steps that neither really wanted to take.

There will be plenty of obstacles to maneuver around in finding their way back.  That's the fun of it, for me.  But I fully understand that my vision may not reflect everyone else's, and I do not blame anyone for seeing things differently and choosing not to read along. 

In point of fact, part of the reason I felt compelled to write this story was to go back and explore some areas that I always felt needed more illumination.  Part of this narrative will deal with some of those things, from a perpective that I don't think has been utilized before.

And again, thanks for being interested enough to speak up.

CYN

 

Reviewer: scrub13 (Signed) · Date: September 07, 2009 05:00 AM · On: Chapter 6

I love your writing style and the almost lyrical way it flows, but I felt very depressed after reading this chapter. Justin seemed so very weak in character and wishy-washy almost like the woman who can't live without being in a relationship, while still in love with the last "Mr. Right". Justin doesn't love Steven, he doesn't even seem to like or respect his, but he does treat him like crap,

To me the strength of Brian and Justin was always their strength independent of each other.  And hurting Emmett? Hmmmmmmm.

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for your comments and your opinions.  This is a period of transition, up until this point, a time in which our heroes are trying to find their way through virgin (excuse the expression) territory.  They're in a period of "becoming" - learning to deal and to cope, and it's still a bit new to them, a bit uncertain. They still must learn how to exist each within their own spheres - with or without each other. I hope the journey and the process will seem believable as time goes on. But they will, I hope, ultimately be true to themselves, refusing to bend before the trials of life.

Thanks again for speaking up.

CYN

Reviewer: Suse (Anonymous) · Date: September 06, 2009 09:01 PM · On: Chapter 6

Wow, you certainly know how to keep us coming back. Quite the cliffhanger!

Author's Response:

Sorry about that.  I don't usually do cliffhangers, but this one just seemed natural.  I promise not to leave you hanging for long.

CYN

Reviewer: fay (Anonymous) · Date: August 31, 2009 02:25 PM · On: Chapter 4

I like your writing very much, so beautiful and sad.

Please continue update.

Reviewer: Annjeela (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2009 07:50 PM · On: Chapter 3

Nice scene.  I could see it playing out just like that.

I do enjoy reading your writing.

Reviewer: black sheep (Anonymous) · Date: August 29, 2009 10:36 AM · On: Chapter 4

wow. i cant get over how exquistely written this is. i mean you really have something amazing going on here! so excited to see where this goes. please write more!!

Reviewer: BluvsJ (Anonymous) · Date: August 28, 2009 08:20 PM · On: Chapter 1

Great start....  I hope Brian comes to his senses...before it's too late.... I can't wait to read more about Brian's "Inner Sanctum".. update soon... 

Reviewer: JTSecrets (Signed) · Date: August 28, 2009 10:06 AM · On: Chapter 1

Welcome to MW. If I may suggest you go and edit your chapter and remove the added spaces the website causes. It makes for a better read.

Author's Response:

Thanks for both the welcome and the tip.  As a novice here, the manner of posting is strange to me.  Is there a way of eliminating the extra spacing without doing so line by line?