Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Reviews For Forever Yours
Reviewer: rukia12 (Anonymous) · Date: April 28, 2016 06:03 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

honestly i loved it really. thank you for all your work



Author's Response:

Please pardon my tardy response! Very happy to see your review and see this story being entertaining still to people, rukia12.

Reviewer: vic32 (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2016 10:16 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

Wow was some story, I loved everything about it x from chapter 1 up to the last. It had everything you could dream of in a story. Excellent work seriously excellent 



Author's Response:

Once again I must ask to be excused for being late in responding to your review comment. Thank you for the kind words; you made my day. Looking back I wish I had done a better ending but I was burned out writing that epic tale and just had to end it and take a long break. Glad to see you sharing your work on Whispers, vic32. I don't write anymore or read much since I'm the tech support for this website and others which leaves me very little time to do stuff like fan fiction. If you can handle a crack!fic, may I suggest my story "Embraced" with a vampire Brian and his slave Justin.

Reviewer: vic32 (Signed) · Date: April 12, 2016 12:02 PM · On: Chapter 67: Ireland

I'm loving this story so much and I am from Limerick Ireland so was so thrilled to see it pop up here. 



Author's Response:

Thank you! My ancestors come from Ireland and Scotland.

Reviewer: eureka1 (Signed) · Date: October 24, 2015 01:29 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

Thanks for your responses to my reviews! Always good to have a review conversation with the author.

Yes, you're right that Melanie and Lindsay moved to Canada for safety in a more gay-friendly environment. My issues with the move were: 1) I didn't see how moving away from their friends and family would make things better. Their relationship had been on shaky ground and they--at least partially--resolved to try again because they were scared to lose each other in the aftermath of the bombing. I don't see, however, how that would resolve the underlying problems, especially considering the distance from friends and family. 2) Lindsay was always pretty adamant about Brian playing a part in Gus' life. Sure, he could fly in for visits, but that would likely be limited to 1-2 times per month. And if Lindsay really wanted Brian involved as Gus' father (regardless of having given up his legal rights to get rid of Guy and keep Linds and Mel together), she wouldn't take Gus so far away.

I hope to soon have time to escape from real life and enjoy more of your story! Always a pleasure to enter the world of an interesting QAF fanfic.



Author's Response:

I recall responding to this review but perhaps I forgot to submit my comments. Please excuse the delay.

Thank you for your clairfication of the canon issues which you certainly have an excellent grasp about them. I'm rapidly approaching the age when I'll have forgotten more than I ever learned! :)

Do enjoy the story and I'd love to hear from you on the way.

~bob

Reviewer: eureka1 (Signed) · Date: October 20, 2015 06:05 AM · On: Chapter 4: The Sting

While I thought both Lindsay and Michael manipulative and annoying, I didn't picture them as evil...and they both are in this story. Michael always seemed a bit of a dim bulb and incredibly whiny. Lindsay seemed pretty smart and definitely yearned after Brian, wanting to create her fantasy of the perfect family.

I never could figure out how moving to Canada would do much to solve Lindsay and Melanie's problems in the long term. The underlying problems wouldn't go away, and it was cruel to take Gus away from Brian, especially since Lindsay manipulated the situtation with Justin so he'd go to NYC.



Author's Response:

I recall in the show that the move to Canada was more the result of the anti-gay environment growing in the USA at the time so the girls wanted to escape that stuff. Am I right?

Reviewer: eureka1 (Signed) · Date: October 20, 2015 05:18 AM · On: Chapter 2: Leather Bear

I know Lindsay was good to Justin initially, but then I felt like she became possessive of Brian and wanted to separate the two of them, as well as living vicariously through Justin as an artist in NYC. Personally, I liked Mel far more than Linsday.



Author's Response:

Me too. Lindsay seem so two faced to me, and plotting against Brian due to her being in love with him or something more creepy.

Reviewer: eureka1 (Signed) · Date: October 20, 2015 04:47 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

I just discovered this story and really like the opening chapter...with many more chapters to enjoy. It always made sense to me that Justin would work with Brian; it's not as though he can't paint, too. Plus, he doesn't have to be in NYC to make it as an artist.

It's also good to see Michael put in his place, although I'm sure that hasn't happened in its entirety in this first chapter. Brian's loyalty to his friends was commendable but the codependence (with Michael and somewhat with Lindsay) was unhealthy. If his so-called friends truly wanted Brian to grow up, they shouldn't have tried to manipulate him and hold him back at the same time. Emmett and Ted were the true friends, not Michael and Lindsay.



Author's Response:

A huge thank you for reviewing this older epic tale. I'm not a good writer; however, I do have a vivid imagination where it is apparent in this story. It will go places where no one has ever gone before. Things move very fast too, so you should not get bored along the way. In reflection I may have too many characters overall, and it might help to keep a notepad of each new one if you don't want to get confused. Totally not necessary; you can just read over the names and flow with the plot. Do enjoy and thanks again for the chapter reviews.

 

bob

Reviewer: Diana (Anonymous) · Date: September 16, 2015 01:29 PM · On: Chapter 16: Church Street

Hi,

I've just begun to read your story and i'm already completely blown away.

I'm sooooo happy that i discovered the story so late as i have so many chapters to read :)

 

I love the storyline and i'm really impressed with all the details you bring up all the time, regarding advertising contracts, tax, comission fees and all. You must have a great knowledge of these things.

Well, just wanted to let you know that i love the story and i'm looking forward to read the rest of the chapters.


Keep going! *thumbs-up*

 

Diana



Author's Response:

Hello Diana,

Thank you for reading and reviewing this epic tale. My background includes living with a man once who owned an advertising agency in California. And I have some history with real estate which taught me much on the business side of things. Then there's story research I needed to learn to make the plot work with reasonable facts. I do hope you enjoy the tale and review again.

bob

Reviewer: Alnwick (Signed) · Date: April 06, 2015 08:15 PM · On: Chapter 19: New Beginnings

New age, psychic anhauser Busch.  God I love it!



Author's Response:

Another missed response due to no email notices. Better late than never.

The supernatural is very real for people who see and hear it working.

Thank you for the review; please enjoy the novel.

bob

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 06, 2015 05:13 PM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

Hey Bob,

What a behemoth this story is and you wrote it in only four months!

By your responses to prior reviews you already know you aren't Earnest Hemingway but still, I love what you did. (a Farewell to Arms is overrated anyways)  It's like you took every crazy thought anyone secretly had and put them into one story. Michael sucking bad cheese head? Brilliant! God I love fanfiction!

I may leave additional reviews as I go through more chapters.  I have at least 180 more opportunities to do so.

Thanks for all your creativity and many, many, many plot lines.

Deb



Author's Response:

Gosh! How did this review get by me? We have issues with the email notices at times. Thank you very much for reading and commenting. My greatest regret for this story is how it ended; I like was just burned out and stopped with a sizzle instead of a swan song ending with a bang.

Currently I'm into planning the code for a totally new version of Whispers both as a website and mobile site. If I can ever finish it I'm certain that it will be most interesting and useful. For example, making stories in Kindle reading format, personalizing profile pages, chat rooms, interest groups, photo and video albums, etc.

 

Hugs,

bob

Reviewer: Emily (Anonymous) · Date: February 08, 2015 10:02 PM · On: Chapter 16: Church Street

THIS IS MY FAVORITE STORY EVER...! I really like how it is long enough so that you can really get into the story, whilst not getting boring and repetitive...! THANK YOU...!



Author's Response:

Would you believe I wrote that monster in under 4 months. Then they adjusted my medication!

I burned out at the end and didn't give it a climax ending but got to say pretty much what I wanted. I tried to keep the character count under a hundred :D

If you want to read my crackfic days, try Embraced. I'm told it's wicked and so bad - it's good.

Hugs,

bob

Reviewer: Cristina (Signed) · Date: January 16, 2015 01:31 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

This story is amazing i really enjoy it, so creative the way you board in all the questions of the day life throughout the history! Liked the introduction of religion, i had the catholic education but sincerely i think that they are surrounded by hypocrisy.. the way that i see it why do we have to follow one book written thousands of years that interpretacion cause so many controversies and wars, in the end is all about love and understanding! Loved to see Justin Brian become like equals in the business and pull all his friends & family straight up with them, i admit that i was feel confused with all the characters i had to go back backward sometimes,but i had so much fun with it thank you! :) please consider writing in the future again ;) :)

Ps. sorry my english :)



Author's Response:

Hello Cristina,

Thank You! very much for your review comments. It warms my heart to see an old story still being read and enjoyed.

Don't be too hard on the Church. They did keep Christianity alive during some very dark ages for centuries. Granted, they changed some things but for the most part I believe most of the Bible is accurate, allowing for some errors in translations, coping, and such. Personally, I'm a student of Biblical Studies and hold a very high respect for the scriptures. I like to think the original manuscripts were accurate; however, all we have today is copies of copies of copies, and man has made some changes here and there over time for political and theological reasons.

I might also add that the Church created schools, hospitals, universities, and missions globally before any body else thought to help the poor around the world. Yes they made mistakes and performed wars at times, but they also did a great amount of good as well - all things considered.

It made my day to read your comment.

Hugs,

bob

Reviewer: JBY (Signed) · Date: September 27, 2014 09:28 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

Hi, I'm fairly new to this pairing and absolutely love them.  In the past I came from fandoms like Buffy or I should say Spuffy ;).  I used to write fan fiction myself until RL just took over.  I did, however, Beta for those instead.  I say this with the utmost sincerest apology for the constructive criticism I'm about to impart to you.  And yes, I'm well aware that you no longer write and I've read most of the comments.

You have an amazing story.  I give you tons of credit for the patience and creativity for that alone.  I do agree with some other reviewers it is too jam packed with other characters that you do lose sight of who the fan fiction should be about: Brian and Justin.  The wedding was such a bummer.  In it Brian and Justin's honeymoon is so downplayed and taken over because of Jerry and Mark.  I was soooo puzzled by this. I understand original characters and, well, writing original stories, but this should have been about them.  

This story seems to be a grocery list of fantastical elements of being rich and getting success and not enough of character growth.  Let me explain as I'm only on chapter 49.  I usually read pretty darn fast and some things do have me scratching my head and honestly having me skim most which is making me read this slower than I normally do.  I hate doing that.  Which parts do I skim?  ANYTHING remotely close to religion.  Not my cup of tea.  I believe in a higher power and spiritual growth, but religion to me is just something I can't get into and I was brought up Catholic.  So aside from my beliefs those aspects of your story I skim over, sorry!  I'm sure it's a huge thing for gay communities, but I think it's always been a huge thing period and not just about gays. I think this is why most ARE commenting on the fact of racism and sexism. It is slightly there, but hey it IS your story!

But I digress back to what I was saying about religion... It's why there are cults.  To me religion lost its belief and moved right into cult like aspects and with no way of coming back to what it should be.  Sad, very sad.  I don't know if this makes me an atheist, but I just don't read or like to be preached at.  You somewhat do that in certain parts.  It is one of the reasons why I stopped reading a certain main stream author's newer style of writing.  It was too preachy.  I shudder at that.  BUT I do get these are your beliefs and so this is why I skim.  You have every right to those beliefs.  I commend you on them even...doesn't mean I like or follow them LOL!

That aside, yes you do have quite a bit of grammatical, spelling, and errors in this. You are not a lousy writer.  Yes, I read your comment, lol!  It needs to be polished, definitely.  HOWEVER, it doesn't take away from the story at all.  Are they noticeable? Yes.  Can they be overlooked so the reader can continue reading?  Absolutely!  It's fan fiction not a Pulitzer piece of writing.  It's fun and edgy and takes things outside the box!  It's a creative piece of art.  And I'm only a quarter in.  I truly think it could have been condensed and I so wish I had found QAF Brian and Justin back when it was out, but I wasn't.  And I wasn't into M/M then.  I wasn't against it, but I never thought about it.  Now I'm obsessed lol.   I'm a straight single mom, but I've totally changed my view about things.  Open minded (although I've always been that way) and open to constant change.  Which this world is so divided with.  Oh well...maybe one day!

 

I would have liked to have beta'd for you.  I'm a detailed person, but your story is in an overabundance of those details.  That grocery list.  It could have been broken down as the changes were being made to Kinnetic.  It makes me worry as I read some comments about all that success and Kinnetic is given to someone else? But, I will eventually finish and find out what that actually means.  I just think it's too drawn out.  This story would have been even more awesome if you had split it up.  I do like how you split the scenes.  I'm just still pouting that Brian and Justin take a more background, yet still in the front weirdly enough, role.  It's almost like they are a side note which is a shame.  A perfect example of blending supporting characters is Predec2's The Wedding Present's world.  I know the second part of that series is more of Fin and Tony, but it was gradual and it flowed right in.  Sadly, this is the missing factor with your saga.  The blending of those supporting characters to blend with the leads.  It seems to be going backwards and making me miss Brian's smart witty sarcasm and Justin's independence and strong personality.  Character development did need work, but I still AM amazed at this incredible story!  If you ever want to re-work or update this, I'd definitely love to help you out! Amazing work!



Author's Response:

I promised a response with my message to you and here it is, alas a brief one since RL is still dominating my time.

I greatly appreciate you taking the time to provide such outstanding comments - corrections - advice - wisdom, regarding this story which frankly flowed out of me in a matter of a handful of months. Every fault you mentioned was true. I have no complaint whatsoever with your assessment. And you're too kind; I am a lousy writer! I've read many people in fan fiction who are just incredible with character and plot development. This story ends in a whimper when I burned out and had to bring it to a close. How did it drift from B&J? My bad; I just let my imagination run wild and wrote what flowed from me at the time. It was literally a work of magic writing with no true structure, form, or direction. I did plan to address the religious stuff since no one has ever done it with gay fan faction before to my knowledge. That part of the story got a lot of notice way beyond our little fan fiction universe. I'm not at liberty to say how high up the food chain this went but I can say it shocked me when it happened, and adding to the debate was my goal and for that it was a success.

Be careful what you ask for! If you really do want to redo this epic tale, than go for it. You should be able to copy and paste each chapter in WORD or something and just send me the revised chapter. I'll update each chapter as you work it over. If you want to really redo the story, I'm down for that too, and will share co-author credit for you once we post the completed thing back online like a new revised version of the tale. I'm prepared to give you a blank check to change or remove anything you don't like, including the religion stuff. I'll be very easy to work with. However, this will be a huge undertaking if you decide to take it own. And we have time - it doesn't have to be finished in some quick time line.

I don't write fan fiction anymore. I have many skillets on the stove as it is and have no time for such pleasure again. And I was slowed down by health for a long time before a heart surgery got me back into the game of life again. You should have my private email address if you kept it, or just use the Contact Us feature from Whispers. I get those messages first since most of them or technical and for others, I forward to Kim.

Thank you very much for your review JBY. Give it some thought, and let me know how you decide.

bob

Reviewer: vlsope2@yahoo.com (Anonymous) · Date: August 04, 2014 04:41 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

After the third try I finished your story-- I loved Brian and Justin and the Lindsey mess, I enjoy anything to do with Gus, his Hershey ad was delightful and his interview with "ohpa" was so sweet. I liked the relationship with Mel and Brian, still witty but not  anger driven. The parts I did't care for were large amount of characters, I finally had to write them down and who fucked who and who was bi and who was gay,keeping up the surrogates and which child belonged to whom--it took a lot of time and was distracting, also all the church stuff was too much, in other storiest by different authors handled the hate mongers and was less detailed one comes to mind is Prego stud it touched on hateful people who use their faith as a weapon against others out of fear or just feeling they are so better than others. I read your work when ever I spot it and always enjoy-sorry I'm critical over some your story for the most part I loved it-hope I don't sound mean or harsh I don't mean to.         



Author's Response:

I totally understand the faults of this story. It wasn't planned but instead just flowed out of me like a rushing river of words. Heck, even I got mixed up with the characters at times and had to go back and read what was written to try and keep it all straight. The Bible stuff was to share with the fan fiction community the theology of gay Christians who have a large source of evidence that give a totally different new light on the Bible and Homosexuality.  Gay men and boys existed at the time of Christ and were called naturally born eunuchs (Matthew 19:12). That name was still in use by the early Church in 400 AD that I'm aware of. Well they don't tell you that in Sunday School so someone has to share the evidence and put a new light on the Word. The Bible has been used to promote wars, genocides, slavery, and more recently even making interracial marriage a crime. Now they still try to use it against gays and I predict that some way they'll figure out how to use some verses to battle illegal aliens too, since they seem to be the next politically correct targets for the masses.

To my knowledge this QAF story is the only one that has attempted to bring Christian Gay Theology to the reading public of fan fiction. It seems to have been very popular and remains today the most read story on Whispers.

 

bob

Reviewer: debbie (Anonymous) · Date: June 15, 2014 03:40 PM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel

Bob,

I love all your stories.

I hope you are planning to write more.

Thanks!

Debbie



Author's Response:

Thank you for commenting. Due to RL matters I have no plans to write again at this time.

Reviewer: jacket8 (Anonymous) · Date: May 19, 2014 02:26 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

Dear Bob -  I have just finished reading Forever Yours for the fourth time.  What can I say, you are an incredible story teller.  One big question?  About 3 years ago I read a story about Brian and Justin that was really excellent but also different.  It was very long and had Justin becoming wealthy thru his art work alone.  It also had something called "landing" and delt with Brian and Justin having additional close relations with other men while also keeping their relationship primary.  Like this story it had sub stories, photos and had the two investing and becoming very wealthy.  I just loved it.  The way it was written made me think that you were also the author.  I have looked for it, but never found it again.  Are you the arthor and if you are, where can I find it?  Please reply.



Author's Response:

What an honor that you would read this monster size story 4 times! I can't remember the name of the other story but yes, I wrote it and decided to take it off line. Basically it went too far revealing things that were not my secrets to share. I had a copy of it on a thumb drive but an ex-roommate used the thumb drive and erased it so now I don't have a copy of it anywhere. I wish I had better news for you but that one is probably gone. Thank you very much for your comments.

Reviewer: BrianNJustin (Signed) · Date: May 15, 2014 03:59 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

Just finish all the chapters, took me a while but finally anyway I like it but I just have some few corrections.

1. There are a lot of grammar and spelling mistake.

2. Some dialogue doesn't make sense.

3. You have too many supporting characters and because of that you had a hard time keeping tract of them. for example. Frenchie was jerry and Mark's Chef but in one chapter he became Brian and Justin's chef?

4. You have character with the same name but different spelling. You had accidentally put Trey as the Chef when it was suppose to be Tray.

I hope your not mad, I do like your story but I think this are some of the things you need to be aware of so you won't have the same mistake again in your story.

Anyway I'm off to read your story embraced. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it quickly.



Author's Response:

Thanks BrianNJustin for your review. Everything you say is true. I'm a lousy writer and will be the first to admit it. I'm working on a B.S. degree and don't write fan fiction anymore.

Reviewer: Elly (Anonymous) · Date: April 22, 2014 04:02 PM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

It's a great story with a very beautiful storyline, thank you so much!!!
I will miss them!!!



Author's Response:

Hello Elly,

It warms my heart to see some dust fly off one of the older stories as a new review lands there. You're so kind to give a comment, and one so gracious too. Thank you for the smile.

bob

Reviewer: Tash (Anonymous) · Date: April 04, 2014 12:29 AM · On: Chapter 33: Wedding Night

OMG that was HOT 



Author's Response:

Glad you liked it. Thank you for reading and comment Tash.

Reviewer: Tash (Anonymous) · Date: April 04, 2014 12:11 AM · On: Billionaire's Puppy

OMG I love jerry and mark



Author's Response:

me 2

Reviewer: Tash (Anonymous) · Date: April 03, 2014 02:00 PM · On: Chapter 3: Family Secrets

OMG that was so intense but extremely well written I couldn't stop tearing up




Author's Response:

Thank you Tash; I can't say how many times I've read that chapter and wondered 'did I write that?'

Reviewer: Amber (Anonymous) · Date: November 04, 2013 04:38 PM · On: Chapter 115: Zoloft for Dogs

I've loved the story up until now you give such great description and suck detail to everything!!!!!!! But I'm very disappointed that you brought Lindsay back into the picture, I feel she should have gone to prison and been out of there lives, I'm strongly thinking about whether to continue reading this story, now that she is back in the picture.

Author's Response:

Thank you for your review. I assure you that Lindsay does not get off easy, and realize that multiple subplots or in the story.

Reviewer: MAFITA (Signed) · Date: June 23, 2013 05:57 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

It took me a really long time, but I finally managed to finish this story.... All I can really say is that I absolutely LOVED it and it was worth every second I spent reading it! :D The only thing that got me sad was Hunter's death T_T.... Anyway, hope to read you soon in another story! :D Kisses!



Author's Response:

Due to health I got behind on answering reviews. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

Reviewer: Tagsit (Anonymous) · Date: April 21, 2013 02:33 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

I love a really long story. This one kept me busy for a whole week! Thanks for writing! TAG



Author's Response:

Forgive my late response. I don't do much but sleep lately. Thanks Tag for reading and commenting. This one is long!

Reviewer: Blanca (Signed) · Date: January 17, 2013 01:33 AM · On: Chapter 17: Revenge

I love this chapter!!! Thanks!

Author's Response:

Better late than never. Sorry I missed this review back then and the only excuse I have was poor health back then.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2012 10:30 AM · On: Chapter 5: Here Comes the Judge

ewww.  I wish all the disgusting info about Sap was pure morbid fantasy... but it is true and happening around us right now.  :(

I am just going to assume Debbie's OOC behaviour to her son is shock.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2012 06:36 AM · On: Chapter 3: Family Secrets

Its nice to actually LIKE Mel for a change.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2012 06:05 AM · On: Chapter 2: Leather Bear

“Goodbye Michael.” Justin said as Brian just stared at his old friend as he left the diner.

“Don’t trust him Justin; I can see it in his eyes when he’s up to something.”

“He asked me out tonight for drinks.”

“Did he ask for both of us to go?”

“No just me Brian.”

“Don’t do it. I’m taking him out of our lives completely. Our friendship is over.”

 

This was shockingly abrupt, and really without warning.  Mikey hasn't done anything different at all than what he always does.  I guess Brian just had enough and HE has changed in how he is handling things.

 

The ending makes me so sad.  :(

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: November 08, 2012 05:31 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

*snort*  

I don't know why I get such a kick out of Ted's glee, watching his boss be happy.

I felt like reading something familiar, so I'm rereading this story.  I'd forgotten how brisk the pace you set is.  I like the story line moves so fast, but as a woman I kinda miss the quiet, sweetness the guys could, at moments, have together.  Its interesting to get a guy writer's POV.

Reviewer: Taire (Anonymous) · Date: August 27, 2012 03:58 AM · On: Chapter 143: Patrick, 14

I watched Patrick 1.5 and loved it.  

Reviewer: galenut (Anonymous) · Date: August 23, 2012 05:13 AM · On: Chapter 16: Church Street

I certainly hope MIkey stays in Canada and not return to the Pitts.

Reviewer: galenut (Anonymous) · Date: August 22, 2012 10:35 PM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel

I am really enjoying this story.

Reviewer: galenut (Anonymous) · Date: August 22, 2012 08:18 AM · On: Chapter 4: The Sting

This story is amazing. Will finish reading it tomorrow. Thanks for writing it.

Reviewer: taire (Anonymous) · Date: August 16, 2012 10:38 AM · On: Chapter 16: Church Street

Michael is so freakimg stupid.  What a moron.  He deserves what coming to him.



Author's Response:

I really broke it off in Michael in this story :) Thank you for commenting Taire

Reviewer: taire (Anonymous) · Date: August 15, 2012 04:27 AM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel

I'm late to the party for this story, but I love it.



Author's Response:

Hello there, and welcome to the party. It's truly wonderful to see a review comment pop up on one of the older tales - it lets me know people are still reading it. Enjoy and thank you.

Reviewer: Neoisevil (Signed) · Date: June 29, 2012 01:24 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

My friend told me about this site two days ago and said i had to read this story and since i found it i spent my free time reading it and finished it. I love this story and cant wait to see what other stories this site have. I am a big qaf fan but my fav site shut down a while ago i went looking for new cites cuz i totally hate how they ended the show... I am rambling anyways awesomw

Author's Response:

How wonderful of you to read and comment Neoisevil (love the pen name too). I was amazed how popular this story was and still is since it has passes 311,000 reads to date. My vampire story "Embraced" was also very popular but a bit like a crack fic however - it's very weird at times :) Thank you very much for joining Whispers, reading and commenting.

Reviewer: FREDDY335 (Anonymous) · Date: June 18, 2012 05:00 PM · On: Chapter 3: Family Secrets

Congratulations! This story is beautiful and very immersive. I cried reading the scene where Gus is visited by a doctor. Brava!
Sorry for English but not speak it and then use the Google translator.
Hello ..



Author's Response:

Thank you for commenting and no problem using a translator online. Google is pretty good at it.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 05, 2012 08:20 AM · On: Chapter 48: Changes

Kinnitek is growing by leaps and bounds.  First with a jet plane then with limos.  Now there's a baby to come into the mix



Author's Response:

Thank you very much for all the wonderful comments. Forgive my late reply - I don't get messages alerting me of new reviews and it's been awhile since I checked. I really appreciate you comments very much.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2012 07:40 PM · On: Chapter 47: Big Bananas

Everybody is doing great except Michael.  He's digging himself another whole.  How stupid can the man be???



Author's Response:

Spoiler alert!

Michael recovers in time and gains a good life.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2012 07:33 PM · On: Chapter 46: Golden Chariot

Poor Michael.  It sucks to be him.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2012 07:26 PM · On: Chapter 45: Malibu

Brian's reduced to one word answers?  lol.  Michael seems to be reverting to his whiny self.  Mark and Jerry are becoming a big part in this story.  Shame Jerry and Ben didn't get together.  Then they could be Ben & Jerry. giggle.  I want a Frenchie and a jet!!!

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2012 08:55 AM · On: Chapter 44: Who Wants a Job?

I can't see Vance screwing this up.  Looks like Kinnetik did good.  Shame Gus doesn't get to go to west coast, but at least he gets to see Ireland

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2012 08:30 AM · On: Chapter 43: Surf with me Rage

I like, I like.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 09:21 PM · On: Chapter 42: Surf with Me

Wish I had the money to not care what anything cost.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 12:06 PM · On: Chapter 41: Think with your dip stick, Jimmy.

It's a good thing Brian owns that building.  Otherwise there would be no place to put anything.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 11:50 AM · On: Chapter 40: Growing Pains

This expansion is a great story line.  The hamster must have been working overtime.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 09:00 AM · On: Chapter 39: Read All About It !

I never did like Vance Gardner

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 08:42 AM · On: Chapter 38: We Can’t Afford Lunch

"We're in the Money. We're in the Money."  Now so is Jen 

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 08:25 AM · On: Who's for Dinner?

That's a lot of money coming and going.  Glad to see Gus was all right and that Kinney Kiddy land will be getting more help.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 07:39 AM · On: Chapter 36: All Choked Up

Hot Damn, free cars.  what have you done to Gus!!!!

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: April 02, 2012 07:24 AM · On: Chapter 35: A Star is Born

If I remember rightly Mark and Jerry get a lot of play in this story.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 31, 2012 10:43 AM · On: Chapter 34: Rodeo Drive

Mark sure got lucky.  Emmett gives good advice.  Love the parts with Gus.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 31, 2012 10:33 AM · On: Chapter 33: Wedding Night

Love the Mark's new home.  Glad you didn't write about Debbie and Carl's honeymoon.



Author's Response:

Please forgive my very late response. I wasn't doing very well when this review was done - found out later I had a heart condition but that's all fixed today. Thank you YumYumPM.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2012 09:15 PM · On: Billionaire's Puppy

This is just the beginning of a new life for Mark, I can see it now.



Author's Response:

Yeah, he hit the lottery jackpot with Jerry. Every twink with a daddy complex's wet dream. Jerry's pretty happy as well. Good to see you reading this again.

love and hugs,

bob

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 30, 2012 08:44 PM · On: Chapter 31: Reception

It's a good thing that Joan was smart enough to behave herself.  The wedding was lovely, and the reception out of this world. 

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2012 11:41 AM · On: Chapter 27: Babylon !!!

Okay, the new year starts with Craig dead, Lindsay almost dead, and Michael pretty much free.  I feel that you'll improve everyone's lot before this story ends.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2012 10:43 AM · On: Chapter 26: Merry Christmas Mr. Kinney

I know you have something devilishly set up for Hobbs and can't wait to reread it.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2012 10:30 AM · On: Chapter 25: Christmas at Britin

Debbie can't seem to stop waiting on people can she.  I know Christmas is a hard time for some people, guess it was too much for Lindsay.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2012 10:12 AM · On: Chapter 24: Christmas Morning

Why is it that Santa is never that nice to me?

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2012 08:08 AM · On: Chapter 23: Kinnetik Kindergarten

Kiddie Day Kare - what a neat idea.  Love Ted's line about Blake.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 29, 2012 07:57 AM · On: Chapter 22: Understandings

Justin is soooo forgiving.  Glad to see that  Brian is not. 

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 28, 2012 08:09 AM · On: Chapter 21: Lily

Amazing how everything turns out.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2012 09:40 PM · On: Chapter 20:What Were You Thinking?

The new move to the new location is interesting and then the mystery of Chris Hobbs takes it up a notch.  Maybe michael is ready for something good to happen in his life.  Poor Gus, worried that marriage will change things.  Unfortunately sometimes it does.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2012 09:27 PM · On: Chapter 19: New Beginnings

I love the way you bandy around the big bucks.  Not to mention how deep a hole Michael's dug for himself. 

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2012 08:44 PM · On: Chapter 18: This Beer's for You

Expansion big time. 

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2012 12:51 AM · On: Chapter 17: Revenge

Everyone seems to be doing well except for Michael and Chris Hobbs.  Wonder who attacked Chris.  Looks like Kinnetik is going to be very busy in the near future.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2012 12:35 AM · On: Chapter 16: Church Street

So many nice snippets - just when you think Michael can't screw things up any worse he does it again. 

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2012 12:33 AM · On: Chapter 15: The New Family

This is going to be the wedding of the century. 

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 25, 2012 11:27 AM · On: Chapter 14: Kinnetik Diversity

Angel and Keller are two great additions to the storyline.  Can't wait to see where you take them.



Author's Response:

How did I miss answering this review? 2012????? MY BAD!

I love you for your support and remembering your help with beta work for me. Doesn't if feel good to help people? I sure do when I can.

Sure hope the story was good for you all the way.

 

bob

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 25, 2012 11:24 AM · On: Chapter 13: Kinnetik Justice

Wow, Hunter's profitting from the comic store more than Michael ever would have.  Nice touch.  You're very blood thirsty in this chapter, got rid of the bad guys in one swoop.

 

 

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 25, 2012 11:21 AM · On: Chapter 12: Money doesn’t Talk; it Screams

So now Deb knows about Michael.  Angels shaping up into a great character, but Michael...he just doesn't get it does he?  "Don't worry about it; Brian will give me more if I call him."  gag.  It's nice that Justin is concerned about Craig's employees, I'm sure Craig isn't.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 25, 2012 11:14 AM · On: Chapter 11: Angel on his Shoulder

Poor Angel.  Having to keep track of Mikey.  Somehow I can't imagine Michael coming out good in all this. 

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 25, 2012 11:12 AM · On: Chapter 10: Family Part Three

I like how Brian takes charge and makes sure Harvath has the best of everything.  Michael is soooo screwed.  He coulda had part of that million dollars and he blew it.  LOL.  Love the last two lines.   

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 25, 2012 11:07 AM · On: Chapter 9: Family Part Two

What a cliff hanger!!!  Brian has gone beyond the call of duty helping his sister Clair.  Now Justin is giving his dad some business.  Bet Craig's gonna be jealous once he gets a load of Britin.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 23, 2012 10:40 PM · On: Chapter 8: Family Part One

I like the way your Mel is shaping up.  She's nicer and totally devious. 



Author's Response:

Hello YumYumPM. It's is so nice to see you reading and commenting on this story. I'm fighting a nasty cold at the moment and will soon reply to all of your reviews. Thank you!

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 23, 2012 09:34 PM · On: Chapter 7: Black Dumpling

Black Dumbling...LOL.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 23, 2012 08:47 PM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel

I marvel at how much you put into one chapter.  Justin is making money by the million.  Mikey is getting his comeupance and Lindsay - well lets just say I'm not sure I believe what she says.  Love the comic book angle.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2012 10:23 PM · On: Chapter 5: Here Comes the Judge

Talk about Drama!!!!  It's a good thing everything worked out in the end.  Bravo!!!

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2012 08:57 PM · On: Chapter 4: The Sting

I'm liking Melanie in this story.  It's nice to know that Gus and JR will be raised in close quarters.  Thank goodness Larry had the sense to call Brian and warn him.  Looking forward to seeing how much trouble both Mikey and Lindsay wind up in.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2012 08:29 PM · On: Chapter 3: Family Secrets

So much bad stuff happening to Gus.  Michael is really in trouble now.  Both he and Lindsay will get what's coming to them if I know you. 

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2012 07:53 PM · On: Chapter 2: Leather Bear

What kind of trouble is Michael planning to get into now?  It's good that Gus is back in town, but something about Lindsay's story doesn't ring true.

Reviewer: YumYumPM (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2012 07:17 PM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

Oh goody.  Mikey was put in his place, as was Todd.  This is going to be a fun read

Reviewer: lynne (Anonymous) · Date: October 07, 2011 07:32 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

I have been reading your story not for two weeks constantly. I have to say it was amazing. I have just finished it and had to comment. I have laughed, cried, screamed and cringed and just enjoyed every word that you have written.  Why you are not writing novels is beyond me I would buy them all.  Thank you for taking the time to write and giving me so much pleasure reading.


Authors comment:

Wow! Thank you so much for this review.

You're a sweetheart for letting me know you have been entertained.

 

love,

bob

Reviewer: angelstar2 (Signed) · Date: October 06, 2011 08:55 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

I have already read this story before but that DID NOT STOP ME from staying up all night to reread this epic tale again! I love it I just love it! Its amazing that a story that in the first chapter i was thinking whoa this is moving fast developed so well and throughly I LOVE IT ALL HARD!!!

 

Thank you for writing!



Author's Response:

Thank you! I hope to one day go back and give it a better ending. I was just burned out at the time doing so much writing and very fast too.

I'm so grateful you commented angelstar2.

Reviewer: angelstar2 (Signed) · Date: September 14, 2011 07:53 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

I can't help it, I've read this before but I have to again I LOVE YOU WORK!



Author's Response:

Thank you. Please forgive my late reply; we rarely get comments on finished works and I haven't checked back for any. I'm most grateful for your review.

bob

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: September 01, 2011 09:17 AM · On: Chapter 171: It's Not Pretty

Stunt devils???



Author's Response:

Well in movie making they are actors who do the more dangerous stunts but many stars also want to do their own stunts, for example, Daniel Radcliffe did all his own stunts and gaining some injuries to on the way. With no more said, I'm at a loss what you were wanting to say. Thank you for your comment. Forgive my late reply please.

Reviewer: mary (Anonymous) · Date: July 16, 2011 01:05 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

great story!!! read it straight through and enjoyed the b/j relationship and plot twists. will look for the justin psychic story--hope it is finished. i don't read WIPs as so many are never finished...

hope your health is better!!



Author's Response:

After 7 days in the hospital recently they got me well again. After 40 I'm convinced it's all just patch and run from now on!

Sorry for replying so late since I hadn't checked this story for new comments lately. Rarely do we get any on finished works.

Love you and thank you for taking the time to let me know I've entertained you.

bob

Reviewer: Angelstar2 (Anonymous) · Date: July 13, 2011 10:48 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

I download and read this fic all the way though. I looked like a zombie at work for reading till 4 in the morning, I completely ignored my hubby, I took only minor breaks for RL so that I could finish this story and i must say TIME WELL SPENT!

 

Amazing tale and how the family grew was awesome. I wasnt sure at the start but by 5-6 chapters in I was totes hooked and addicted! Didnt get the bible segway for thoese three chapters but I still enjoyed it. But overall this story is nothing short of amazing and I enjoyed the hell out of your continuation of the greatest love story ever told.

 

AMAZING FIC! Thank you for writing!



Author's Response:

I owe you a huge apology for being so late getting back to your wonder feedback. RL hasn't been kind, and rarely do we get feedback on finished works so we sometimes fail to check for reviews.

I have started a new novel that will go greater into detail regarding the Holy Bible and Homosexuality. Bible Calculus I'm confident I can refute all of the anti-gay scriptures with historical, cultural, and ancient language facts obtained online today. The Bible is used to hurt gay people and we have to fight back. As we say in the faith, Praise God and pass the ammo!

I'm very grateful for your comments and it really does brighten my heart to hear I've entertained you.

love,

bob

Reviewer: FallBackTrick (Signed) · Date: June 26, 2011 12:48 PM · On: Chapter 6: Marvel

Mmmmiiiilllliiiiiooonaaaaaaiiiirrrrreeeee!



Author's Response:

Please forgive my delay answering you. RL has been a challenge lately, blah-blah-blah. Glad you are having fun reading and enjoying the story enough to comment.

Reviewer: evjo (Anonymous) · Date: November 17, 2010 06:30 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

I've only just read the first chapter and I'm keen to see how this marverlously long story pans out. BJ are always good together. Thanks for the story.



Author's Response:

This is sort of a War and Peace epic level event  for B and J :)  Writing this was months of very little sleep and constant pounding on the keyboard. I hope you enjoy the read and sorry for my late answer to your comment. Health has kept me off-line lately but things are improving now.

Reviewer: Jennifer (Anonymous) · Date: November 07, 2010 10:05 AM · On: Chapter 2: Leather Bear

I knew Lindsay was lying.  Ooooh this is bad.  Can't wait for the next chapter.



Author's Response:

Hope you like it. Thank you for commenting and sorry for the late answers; been under the weather lately and not online much.

Reviewer: Jennifer (Anonymous) · Date: November 07, 2010 09:48 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

Love the first chapter.  Can't wait to read more.



Author's Response:

Thank you

Reviewer: jason (Anonymous) · Date: September 21, 2010 06:52 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

really loved this story many beautiful lads.  your writing is unique,  haven't read anyone as prolific and diverse as you.  think i will read partners in crime next as it is my line of work.



Author's Response:

Thank you Jason for commenting. I'm very happy you liked the story which is rapidly approaching 200,000 read hits which amazes me to no end. In Partners in Crime Justin is psychic and he solves some interesting cases and there are some very funny stories about weird cases too. Years ago I was a paramedic and dated a detective in Vice for a major California city; taught me a lot about cops no one is suppose to know about :)

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: August 31, 2010 12:27 PM · On: Chapter 38: We Can’t Afford Lunch

hi

im donny from indonesia i do realy love your fanfic .its terrific,your knowledge about anything is good and make this story better and real.keep writting.

 

best regards,

donny

 



Author's Response:

How nice to see some comments on this story. Excuse my delay answering them as I'm not set up for email notices for that. I'm very happy you like my work Donny. Thank you for commenting.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 27, 2010 06:05 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

Nice story.  Thanks for writing it.  You have a wonderful talent and your prolific writing is admirable.



Author's Response:

Thank you! I love to write if the hamster does his job.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 27, 2010 05:17 AM · On: Chapter 185: The Greatest Lie ever told with the Bible

Brad Pitt is Jesus?  LOL 

Such an optimistic turn for this part of your story,  Honestly, I think it more likely the Griffin/Kinney compound be burned to the ground (including all inhabitants) by hired hit men or private gangs who are either fanatics or just blood thirsty and willing to join any fight they figure will get them notariety.

Not that I don't believe that the Bible is and has been terribly mis-translated.  If only we would just stck to the plainly written Ten Commandments. And of course what Jesus himself declaired Himself to be the greatest of all commandments:

 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments (Matthew 22:36-40)



Author's Response:

I live in Texas and it would amaze you how many people believe: Jesus was white, spoke English, and the Bible is the literal word of God and orginially written in English. Too funny but these people are very funny and I'm not laughing (not that kind of funny if you get my meaning). Glad you liked this phase of the story, and Brad Pitt makes the perfect Jesus! Thanks for all your greatr comments.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 26, 2010 09:03 AM · On: Chapter 163: It’s Your Toy Now

I HATE the idea of Kinnetic selling, but at least it stays in the "family".  Although I would have thought Gus would have wanted it one day.

Its great how Debbie is able to be there for Clair.



Author's Response:

Sometimes the hamster decides to write what has never been written before and with so much QAF and B/J fanfiction out there it can be a challenge to be originial. Love you!

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 26, 2010 08:19 AM · On: Chapter 159: Spring Break Party Pt. II

Mark McGuire who plays Spiderman asked the retired producer

its Toby McGuire.

I just love everyone together again, and in California enjoying a vacation!



Author's Response:

Thank you for telling me about this boo boo. I'll go fix it at once. With the long hours I stay up writing it's a wonder my stories are riddled with mistakes. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 20, 2010 05:30 AM · On: Chapter 91: First Gay Love

WOW, you did some major editing of this chapter.  The opening and closing paragraphs are really clunky and not at all as well written as the rest.  I remember a lot of sex before.  Wheln I read it origionally, I was shocked a bit at first, but I wonder why you couldn't just put in a chapter warning for underage sex instead of editing it out completely.

My answer is probably in other chapter reviews.  I guess I'll take a peek at those, LOL.  It seems you get a lot of complaints regarding your take on things.  I personally believe that too much PC -ness is very unhealthy.  PC comments are just as stereotypical as generalizations.  I think the next generation is being seriously warped by how we as adults and media say one thing but do another.  For example, we teach them their best is good enough throughout highschool, but the moment they try getting into college or apply for a job they learn real fast that that is so far from the truth!

My parents use sexist and racist phrases they were taught, things I certainly taught my daughter was very rude.  Like she didnt already know, having since pre kindergarten been taught to  only speak in acceptable terms.

Sometimes I think that in our attempts to improve the world and human relations within it, we are begining to go backwards.  For one example, its like, and being white I wouldn't mind your bf's opinion on this, only a black person can comment on their color and history but if a white person does it it automatically means I'm verbally segregating them by even mentioning it.

I'll probably be shot for just mentioning it...



Author's Response:

It's funny but he gets more discrimiation being with a white man from his family and friends than I do. Really nobody gives me any back talk but they run him down all the time. You're right about too much to do about some issues.

Yes I did cut out the heavy sex scenes, several people thought it was sick to graphically describe underage teens having sex. So once again I made some changes.

Thank you for reading and enjoying my story.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 20, 2010 05:08 AM · On: Chapter 90: The Dad Test

Its amazing how liberal Jerry and Mark are with their young son Keith.  Even Justin said to Brian in the first episode 14 was way young.

Then again, my 16 year old daughter is allowed sleepovers at our house with her boyfried simply because I cannot stand his place, or them continually attending unsupervised house parties just to hook up.  Sigh, the things we do as parents.



Author's Response:

I don't know too many parents who are that easy on their kids but this is fiction! I have known some parents of gay kids underage who manage their love life for their own good. Thank you very much for reading and commenting.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 19, 2010 04:43 PM · On: Chapter 78: I Want Mark

Ok, that strung out pic of your hamster is just wrong.  Almost creeps me out as much as Trey must feel watching his mother having sex with the opportunistic pool boy.

I know I personally gave him a line and enabled him.  But, Im reformed now and so he too must be.

So hamster, this is it.  Your last hit from me.  I advise quitting cold turk---



Author's Response:

Heah saving Mr. Hamster got me 1,000 review hits :)  He gets better I promise. When it comes to me seeking review comments I am totally shameless, ask anybody. I'll kill the rodent for more reviews. Thank you for making my day!

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 19, 2010 12:25 AM · On: Chapter 45: Malibu

Loved a slightly overwhelmed Brian in this chapter.

Yeah.

I just loved that.



Author's Response:

You caught that subliminal plot play very well.

You know if someone wanted to put a :) comment on each chapter they read I could pass 2,000 reviews. *grins*

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: July 18, 2010 03:02 PM · On: Chapter 38: We Can’t Afford Lunch

This line is for the hamster.

This one is for you:  I love this story, It's my third reread.  It keeps pulling me back!



Author's Response:

LOL! Thank you so much.

A fan is starting to create a French version for us.

I'm so happy I could entertain you.

Review comments make my day and reward us for writing.

Reviewer: Jessa Crutcher (Anonymous) · Date: June 28, 2010 01:45 PM · On: Chapter 38: We Can’t Afford Lunch

this story is effin awesome. I love your stories. Please keep writing



Author's Response:

Jessa I couldn't stop writing if my life depended on it. I love to write QAF stories. I have slowed down a bit since I'm working on improving our MW website. Thank you so much for commenting.

Reviewer: mysid (Anonymous) · Date: June 17, 2010 09:25 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

Thank you for taking a step in the right direction, but I'm afraid that was just the tip of the iceberg. 

And, out of curiosity, why were you so accomodating to my review but react so negatively when Anonymous also pointed out the appearance of racism in the story.  Were you just offended by him/her not using a name to review?



Reviewer: joann (Anonymous) · Date: June 17, 2010 07:29 AM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

I don't agree with with the reviewer calling this story dripping in racism and sexism. This is fiction for crying out loud. People get their panties in a twist for next to nothing. Still it was nice of the author to change it.



Author's Response:

Thank you for commenting. In almost 1900 review comments I have had only 2 complaints. But to be fair the story is modified and it was no problem to change that. None of that text was important to the plot anyway. Some subjects are more sensitive to some people. As a new writer I'm learning what may be acceptable to all and what causes issues. I'm not above being corrected.

However, a totally politically correct story is not realistic either. So a writer has to try and find a balance somewhere in the middle.

Reviewer: mysid (Anonymous) · Date: June 17, 2010 02:08 AM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

I'm afraid I have to agree with Anonymous.  The story is dripping with both racism and sexism, and although it was--presumably-- unintentional, it is there.  Tammy speaking in broken English and calling her employee "Master"?  Are you completely unaware of how wrong that it is? 

Employees don't call their employers "Master"; slaves call their owners "Master".  And given that Tammy is African-American, that her employer is caucasian, and that the story is set in the USA with its history of whites enslaving Africans, we have a combination that makes me cringe.

 



Author's Response:

OK, I can fix that. I'm familar with house servants of the very rich do use that term regardless of their race. I'd rather change the story than offend anyone.

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2010 09:01 AM · On: Chapter 13: Kinnetik Justice

“I love you twat. Will you marry me Justin Taylor?”  ~ Ever the romantic...

 “Brian, turn off your intercom please.”  ~ Oh shit is right... LOL...

Dangerous Brian and Professional Hit Men...

Later Baby ~ Kathleen

 



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you're enjoying this story and I hope you help me make 1900 reviews soon too. Thank you!

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2010 07:04 AM · On: Chapter 11: Angel on his Shoulder

Well it's better than jail with Big Ed, and being burnt at the stake and shredded by werewolf's... ha, ha, ha

Later Baby ~ Kathleen



Author's Response:

I had some very strong crack when I wrote Embraced!

:)

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2010 06:32 AM · On: Chapter 10: Family Part Three

Glad Carls OK... ~ K



Author's Response:

The fact I didn't put in a minor character death warning should have assured you of that.

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2010 06:16 AM · On: Chapter 9: Family Part Two

Oh No Carls dead, please don't move Debbie to Britin...

Later Darling ~ Kathleen



Author's Response:

Don't freak out; Carl will be ok. Love you.

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: May 21, 2010 10:14 AM · On: Chapter 7: Black Dumpling

 “You don’t know how true that is Ted.” in deed... This is getting good...

Later Darling ~ Kathleen



Author's Response:

Glad you like it. That was the only really ugly chapter to speak of with what happened to Michael in jail.

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: May 21, 2010 03:54 AM · On: Chapter 7: Black Dumpling

Oh My God I was just reading some of the comments... Good Lord I hope that "Anonymous" never reads my stories...

Then I saw Balrogtweety's comments and smiled, Jane's the one that recommended I read Embraced...  anyways just starting to get into the story.

I like whisking Michael and Lindsay off to jail right away its one way of not dealing with them...  Sometimes I just never mention them... ha, ha, ha

Later Darling ~ Kathleen



Author's Response:

Because of that Anonymous flamer, Elsa Rose, the owner of MW has made it happen that only signed in members can now leave comments. Anonymous has messed it up for all the good people who would leave excellent comments. Thank you for reading and commenting.

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 19, 2010 09:07 PM · On: Chapter 66: Landing Boeing

If pointing out that your word choices sound racist makes me a "troll" in your book, I can live with that. 

But rather than calling me names, wouldn't a better choice have been to fix the way you worded that small scene so it doesn't sound racist anymore?



Author's Response:

You have 5 names and one IP address. It's not racist, or sexist. You have a chip on your shoulder. Not my problem. Hugs!

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 19, 2010 07:34 PM · On: Chapter 66: Landing Boeing

You say, "The Native Americans were already here.  So this does discribe the first to come here."

Incorrect.  The ancestors of the Native Americans were the FIRST to come here.  If you say that Europeans were "the first people" to come here, you are saying that anyone who come before them weren't people.  I know that's not how you meant it, but it IS what you are saying.

And no, I'm not "nitpicking a little boy learning"; I'm criticizing the words you put in the mouth of his teacher who should supposedly know better. 



Author's Response:

I've seen your postings on MW before. You like to flame. On the internet we all that a troll. Have a blessed day anyway.

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 19, 2010 10:13 AM · On: Chapter 66: Landing Boeing

“So the first people to America came from England?” Gus asked his tutor and teacher Lily.

“For the most part yes; the very first people were explorers and fishermen. The first people who came to live here and raise their families here came from mostly England and Ireland.

So, according to Lily, the Native Americans--who were here before those European explorers and fishermen--weren't people.  Interesting.



Author's Response:

The Native Americans were already here. So this does discribe the first to come here. This is telling a 5 year old how people came from Europe.

For you to nitpick a little boy learning is a bit much.

Reviewer: math teacher (Anonymous) · Date: April 19, 2010 02:12 AM · On: Chapter 7: Black Dumpling

In this chapter, Gus is only four years old, but Brian and Justin have been together for almost six years.  I'm afraid that's not possible.  Justin met Brian on the night that Gus was born, so if Gus is four, they've been together only four years. 

If you want to say that they've been together for "going on six years," then Gus has to be five, almost six.  Since you said earlier that Gus is old enough for kindergarten, age five or six would be appropriate.



Author's Response:

I'll have to check the chapter; thanks for pointing this out.

Reviewer: too old to be called girl (Anonymous) · Date: April 18, 2010 08:13 PM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

I'm afraid you're being unintentionally sexist in this chapter.  Justin's desire to hire a "girl" to handle all the paperwork?  I sincerely doubt they plan to hire a child, so they're much more likely to hire a woman--or a man.  Secretaries can be either gender, and until they do hire someone, there's no way of knowing which gender will be hired.  And they definitely wouldn't refer to the new hire as a "girl" or a "boy"; that's infantalizing and demeaning.

And while I'm on the subject, why are all the artists in the art department men?  I sincerely doubt that not a single qualified woman applied for a job.

I'm sure you didn't intend for your word choices to come off this way, but unfortunately, they did.



Author's Response:

In our family business we called our aunt the girl Friday of the office. She was in her 50s and owned half the company. She was never insulted to be called a girl.

Sorry you took it that way, but it wasn't intentional. There could be female artists in the art department, just not mentioned at that time.

 

Reviewer: Saphire (Anonymous) · Date: March 18, 2010 09:09 AM · On: Chapter 2: Leather Bear

I've read so many stories with Mel as the bad guy but i love that you made her be the one who loves Gus.

Lyndsay has a way of appearing all nice but be a real bitch at the same time and i hate that.

Great chapter!



Author's Response:

Thank you Saphire! I always felt Lindsay was making trouble for Mel and Brian under the covers of being nice in the show.

I will admit I've made Mel the good guy and the bad guy in my stories depending on the plot. Mel is the good guy in this one.

I hope you enjoy the story and comment again if only a few words. My plot bunny Mr. Hamster loves the hits.

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: February 25, 2010 02:50 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

Loved this story! On to the next one :)



Author's Response:

HI KAT!!!!! Thank you for the comments on this story; sorry I didn't catch them sooner. Glad you liked it.

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: February 25, 2010 01:58 PM · On: Chapter 187: When the Hate Started

WOW is right! I had no idea about that. It makes so much sense b/c of the news the Catholic Church has made recently in regards to gays adopting children. There is so much information out there, its amazing. Gay marriage was legal at one point and here we are today fighting to get that right returned to the gay community.



Author's Response:

Society always has to have some underdog to put down; if not gays it's women, or illegal immigrants, or Muslims, or welfare mothers, or foreigners period, or some minority race. This is the history of mankind.

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: February 25, 2010 01:05 PM · On: Chapter 184: The Script Arrives

I wish a movie like this could be made!



Author's Response:

Sadly gay themed movies do poorly at the box office. Even Brokeback Mountain barely broke even to make a small profit.

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: February 25, 2010 12:26 PM · On: Chapter 183: Movie Research Arrives

I'm still working on finishing this story! Just finished 183...yeah!! WOW! I just have to say this is like confirmation for me. I am all for equality (its my middle name on Facebook!) and have a deep love and respect for the gay community. I can relate so much to the teachings of the conservative Christian community...especially being told that homosexuality is a sin. As a matter of fact this past Sunday in my Mother's Sunday School class, the teacher mentioned that homosexuals were lost souls. Suffice it to say I was like a stonewall the rest of the class and pissed. As a very liberal progressive Christian, I am soo beyond the teaching and preaching of hatred against anyone. What I don't get is that people know that historically the bible has been used to discriminate against groups of people. It was used to condone slavery, segregation and against interracial relationships amongst other things. I don't understand it. Its like society isn't happy unless some group is being discrimainated against.

There is such a "war" going on now with regards to this topic. What I love is that there are churches of all denominations that are open to everyone regardless of sexual orientation. I'm actually considering finding and joining a church like that, regardless of being "warned" by my Mother to not join those type of churches.

I actually grabbed a bible while reading this chapter and the last one to follow along with the story of Jonathan and David. I grew up in the church, but was never a big bible reader. I found this so interesting. This part of the story was so timely for me, thanks for all the research you did!



Author's Response:

Once upon a time Christians were down on Jews for killing Christ. Now that's not politically correct but it's ok to put down gays. Having a segment of society to villianize raises money in the offering trays to fight the "Evil" in the world. Ad nasaeum they go on and on and on and on and on.

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: February 11, 2010 03:40 PM · On: Chapter 149: Stan, Harmony and Helena

I hope Peter is going to be ok!



Author's Response:

I'm sure things will work out. Thanks so much for reading and commenting Kat.

Reviewer: Tom (Anonymous) · Date: February 05, 2010 06:29 PM · On: Chapter 191: In Conclusion

This was a really good story. Thanks



Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it and let me know. Check out my other ones especially "Embraced". It's sort of my favorite one with Brian a vampire and Justin's his blood/sex slave forever.

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: February 02, 2010 06:37 PM · On: Chapter 1: Starting Over

Personally, I did not like your story. Nowhere in the summary and/or warnings did you say anything about underage sex or unsafe sex. I kept reading hoping this would change. It did not. I am very sorry I read your story.



Author's Response:

There is no choice in the warnings for underage sex; it's legal here to write it for both people being minors. You're not a gay man who was once a gay boy and knows how life is. It's not unsafe sex when you're both virgins or tested. Again, you're not gay so it's strange to you. Different strokes... 

Reviewer: balrogtweety (Signed) · Date: February 01, 2010 01:57 PM · On: Chapter 101: Made in China

Liberty Avenue would not be the same without Debbie.



Author's Response:

I totally agree.

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