Midnight Whispers
QAF Brian and Justin Fanfiction
Reviewer: cullengirl08 (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2022 11:40 AM · On: Atavisim

This was a great little story, and I loved the ending!!!   If only, it had been that way on the show!!   I think Justin's staying with Brian was definitely the right decision.   Brian is his inspiration, and being away from that, for five years would not do him well.   

Reviewer: Ruby_Zella (Signed) · Date: March 11, 2020 11:35 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I absolutely loved this series. 

Reviewer: nickknack (Signed) · Date: August 02, 2019 11:55 AM · On: Atavisim

I really do love this series. Well worth a second read, or third, fourth fifth... A definite favorite.



Author's Response:

Thanks! I'm so glad you continue to enjoy this story :-)

Reviewer: nickknack (Signed) · Date: August 02, 2019 11:51 AM · On: You is for Utopia

It just seemed like the right time to re-read a much loved favorite. Once is never enough with this wonderful story.



Author's Response:

I'm very glad you still enjoy it :-) Thanks so much for reading and for your review!

Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2019 01:07 AM · On: You is for Utopia

good one



Author's Response:

I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this story, and were able to kind of engage with the characters :-) Thanks so much for reading and for all your wonderful reviews!

Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2019 12:49 AM · On: You is for Utopia

poor Brian, Justin does not deserve him and the Munchers neither

Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2019 05:19 PM · On: You is for Utopia

fucking Lindsey never liked her

Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2019 05:12 PM · On: Atavisim

good one, glad he did not listen to darn Lindsey this time



Author's Response:

Glad you liked it ;-) As you can probably tell from the stories, I'm not a huge fan of Lindsay. I think she damaged Justin and Brian's relationship for some self-serving reasons. But some people like her. I guess it takes all sorts to make a world ;-) Thanks again for reading and for your reviews!

Reviewer: coleamber (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2019 04:41 PM · On: Atavisim

what is wrong with Justin, he is to selfish

Reviewer: Juditka (Signed) · Date: January 07, 2018 02:06 PM · On: You is for Utopia

"Atavism" and "You are for Utopia" are wonderful stories. I like style and expression as you tell the story. I'm happy I read it. Thank you very much. Juditka from Hungary    



Author's Response:

Thank you :-D I'm so thrilled that you have enjoyed these stories. I think of all of canon-verse B/J series I've written, these two were my favorite to write, so I'm very glad you liked them. Thank you so much for reading, and for your lovely review!

Reviewer: Juditka (Signed) · Date: January 06, 2018 01:40 PM · On: Atavisim

I really liked the end of the story, Justin's choice. Justin can be happy only with Brian. So it can be a real artist.



Author's Response:

Thanks Juditka! I'm really glad you enjoyed this story, and that you agreed with Justin's choice at the end. Art and love go hand in hand :-) Thanks so muych for reading and for you wonderful review!

Reviewer: nickknack (Signed) · Date: June 22, 2017 05:28 AM · On: You is for Utopia

Lovely story and a great end to the series.



Author's Response:

I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading and for your lovely review. I appreciate it so much :-)

Reviewer: Who (Signed) · Date: April 04, 2016 05:30 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Loved it



Author's Response:

So happy that you enkoyed it! Thanks so much for reading :-)

Reviewer: Who (Signed) · Date: May 22, 2015 04:49 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Love it



Author's Response:

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading :-)

Reviewer: nickknack (Signed) · Date: April 21, 2015 06:04 AM · On: Atavisim

Got to love a story that leaves your heart feeling full :-)



Author's Response:

I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this story ;-) I'm also kind of a sucker for happy endings *g* Thanks again for reading, and for your wonderful review!

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: October 17, 2014 01:39 AM · On: You is for Utopia

OMG that was perfection. I have actual tears running down my cheeks. Thank You. 



Author's Response:

I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed this :-) thank you south for reading, and for your wonderful comment. I appreciate it so much.

Reviewer: Paul.....Atavisim series (Anonymous) · Date: April 05, 2014 03:30 AM · On: Atavisim

I just wanted to say that your story was superb.  I was somewhat devastated by how the series had ended.  I had never seen it originally on Showtime, but have watched it over the past 6 months by buying each of the 5 seasons.  My parter/husband and I will have been together 35 years this June.  I think the reason that I was so taken by the series was that I saw the tapestry of love that Brian and Justin created as being so similar to what Ray and I experienced.  Just as Brian was Justin's first lover, so Ray was mine.  In cases like this, I honestly believe that it is divine intervention that brings the two souls together.  I have always believed that the talent of a great writer is manifested in how their written words are processed in the minds of their readers.  In your case, as I read your story,  images filled my brain as clearly as if I had been watching them on TV.  Scene by scene, image by image,  I saw that majestic manor house and Gale Harold and Randy Harrison as Brian and Justin bringing your story to life. A very SINCERE THANK YOU for helping a hopeless romantic find some closure to a wonderful series.  Paul



Author's Response:

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Thank you so much for your wonderful, thought-provoking review. Please believe me when I say that hearing a story has touch someone on a deeper level is high praise indeed for any author. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your own story. Like you, I began watching QaF after it had finished airing, in 2007. I feel in love with he characters, and with Brian in particular. I loved his complexity; his brashness and courage, but also his humanity and sensitivity. Also like you, I was very disappointed with the end of season 5 - not only because it was a disappointing ending, but because it seemed utterly out-of-character for both Brian and Justin. Why would they abandon something they had fought so hard for when there was an easy compromise? Atavism was one of my first post-513 fics, but I've since written a few others. I like exploring alternative ending, and the ways in which it could come about.

 

Thank you again for your thoughtful review, and again for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate it, and this is one review I will treasure :-)

 

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: May 18, 2013 06:36 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I fear this may be your 'magnum opus' for this fandom.  Every time I read it I love it more and more.  And your poem!  Dream Pool is beautiful and this story is a fitting setting for such a jewel.



Author's Response:

Thank you :-D You're very sweet. I'm so thrilled that you still enjoy this story, and that you liked the poem! This is one my favorite stories as well, which is funny, considering I went into it convinced I could never write a good 'B/J with family' fic ;-) I think my personal 'magnum opuses' are probably 'A Moment on the Lips' and 'The Temptation of Snakes', because they were very challenging to write and I know they took many people out of their comfort zones. But I love this story as well, and it will always have a special place in my heart. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it :-) Thanks so much for reading and for your lovely comment. I appreciate it so much! 

Reviewer: wingnut1974 (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2013 04:53 AM · On: You is for Utopia

This is probably one of the best stories I've read in a long time.  Thank you



Author's Response:

Thank you :-D I'm so thrilled you enjoyed this story! Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review. It means a lot and I appreciate it so much :-)

Reviewer: Netta (Anonymous) · Date: March 18, 2013 06:38 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Ok listen! I couldnt stop reading it until 3am last night! i just had to keep going! u def made ur self a HUGE fan! it was great story and great writing



Author's Response:

Thanks Netta! I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed this story, and that it was captivating enough to keep you up until the wee hours of the morning ;-) And I'm very happy to have gained a new reader *g* Thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful review. It means a lot :-)

Reviewer: Netta (Anonymous) · Date: March 17, 2013 05:58 AM · On: Atavisim

Wow! this was really really good! i couldnt stop reading it! it could see al the scenes viviedly in my head and for me thats a sign of good writing! loved it and waiting for tomorrow to start the sequel, u gained yourself a fan



Author's Response:

Thanks Netta! I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed this story, and I'm glad to hear that it kept you 'hooked' :-) I really hope you'll enjoy 'You is for Utopia' as well *g* I'm ecstatic that I have gained a new reader :-) Thank you so much for reading and for your lovely review. It means a lot and I appreciate it so much.

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: January 24, 2013 07:36 AM · On: You is for Utopia

This was great! ~ Kathleen

Author's Response:

Thanks Kathleen! I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Thanks so mch for reading and for your lovely review :-)

Reviewer: Weave the Magic (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2012 09:48 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I like the name of the two girls, Liberty and Lucy. Really nice and I love the meaning.



Author's Response:

I'm thrilled that you liked the babies' names and the reason behind them. I'm a bit of a sucker for names, so I had a really interesting times findings ones that would be appropriate and meaningful for all four of the parents :-)

Reviewer: Weave the Magic (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2012 09:32 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Seems like the two couple are getting along. I hope this goes on even after the birth. No more drama like when Gus was a baby.



Author's Response:

Oh, but drama and angst is my specialty ... *g* It's good that they had settled their differences at this point in the story because life post-babies is always stressful on new parents... Thanks so much for reading, and for your wonderful comment :-)

Reviewer: Weave the Magic (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2012 09:01 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Wow! But this Lindsay is cruel. Pretty hard to have a mother of your child like that.



Author's Response:

She is cruel in this chapter yes - though you find out in later chapters that it is not out of pure malice. There is method to her madness in this case, although it is, admittedly, at Justin's expense... 

Reviewer: Weave the Magic (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2012 08:30 PM · On: Atavisim

Now why didnt the show finish this way?  With everything the two went through, you would have thought they'd go through their dreams together. Well I'd like to think they still did.



Author's Response:

I totally still like to think they did as well. I don't believe for a second that Brian and Justin would part 'just like that' - no way. They've both grown and changed together and they would have lost so much. Nope. I'm convinced that somehow, some time, they would have come to their senses and gotten back together :-) Thanks so much for reading once again, and thank you for your wonderful comments. I appreciate them so much :-)

Reviewer: Weave the Magic (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2012 06:25 PM · On: Atavisim

Awww. Whether Justin accepts the ultimate offer, it's still so loving of Brian to put himself forward.



Author's Response:

LOL ;-) I always think Brian is a bit of a knight in shining armor on the inside - especially when it comes to Justin *g* Thanks again for reading, and for your review!

Reviewer: Weave the Magic (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2012 05:25 PM · On: Atavisim

Really nice. I know there's panic going on all over, but I can feel the calm inside of Justin because of Brian, et.al. Such contrast. Really well done.



Author's Response:

Thanks :-) I'm really glad you enjoyed this chapter. In times of extreme panic like this, it's sometimes remarkable how composed you can be where you have something to focus on. I think that was the place Justin was in here. Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review. I appreciate it so much :-)

Reviewer: Kimi (Anonymous) · Date: December 12, 2012 01:21 AM · On: You is for Utopia

This was so heart warming. The boys  really do deserve utopia after all they've been through. thank you for this lovely work.



Author's Response:

Hi Kimi! Thank you very much for your wonderful review - I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I'm very glad you liked this story. I'd have to agree that Brian and Justin really did deserve to find their Utopia in the end, but it was the process of searching that really created it for them. Thank you again for reading and for your wonderful comment :-)

Reviewer: Kimi (Anonymous) · Date: December 12, 2012 12:07 AM · On: Atavisim

Wow!!! Just beautiful lyrical prose and compelling imagery! Brilliant piece of writing.. Thank you for sharing ...



Author's Response:

Thanks Kimi :-) I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed this story, and I'm so happy you liked the imagery. I really like using imagery and descriptions - it's kind of like painting with words ;-) Thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful review. It made my day!

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2012 09:10 AM · On: You is for Utopia

This was beautiful! Justin and Brian both had utopia although I know Brian would have wanted Gus in the mix. Jusitn had come full circle form Atavism. He not only had the love of his life as his husband, he had his career in the art world and  his children to raise and full time. Now here's my question:

I was shocked when I read this the first time. Why would Lindsay give up full custody or allow them to raise the the twins full time. Is it because she saw too much of Justin in the girls and did not feel a connection? Or were they too much to handle with two other children; or where the children superfluous for her since she still had the trump card -- Gus? Just curious.



Author's Response:

Thanks Sandra *hugs* I'm so glad you liked the (possibly hopelessly romantic) was this story ended. I know that, ultimately, it would have been ideal for Brian and Justin to have Gus as well as the twins, but this was my teeny dose of reality for the story. Gus is Lindsay and Melanie's child - Brian signed those papers turning his parental rights over to Mel. He and Justin would have no legal grounds at all to try and claim partial custody. The twins, on the other hand, were legally Justin's kids. In fact, as he and Brian got married they would legally be Brian's children as well. That's not to say that Brian would have abandoned Gus, or that he wouldn't have ideally preferred an alternative arrangement - far from it. But I think he appreciated that, at age six, it would be disruptive for Gus to keep moving countries every six months. As for why Lindsay gave full custody of the twins over to Brian and Justin, I deliberately left that part of the story somewhat vague. Again - it's not like she would turn her kids over to Brian and Justin and never see them again. It just means that Brian and Justin would have the same rights over the twins as she has over Gus and JR. I guess they could have all agreed that that would have been 'fair'. They all knew from their experience with Jenny Rebecca that fighting over a child's custody ultimately works for no one - especially not the child in question. But yeah - I left it vague so that people could draw their own conclusions. The details didn't seem particularly important to the story's plot in the end.

Thanks again for reading and for your wonderful comments and questions. They really get me to think *g* Thank you for leaving such wonderful reviews :-)

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: November 05, 2012 08:56 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I was poised on the threshold of a brave new world…and I just couldn’t wait.

I had to recruit my husband to help hang the eight pictures last night. I finished the story but decided I probably was missing the essence of the story. I reread this chapter and to the following ones this morning and saw thing a little clearer. Justin did very much want to be a father and he also wanted Brian to experience it the way he could not have with Gus. He knew how much Brian loved being a father and to saw how hurt he was when he wasn't chosen. I thought is just another way for Linsay to punish Brian and Justin even though it was out of necessaity that she did chose Michael, I still felt she took advantage of the situation to get her digs in. They were also in a stressful situation, and compounded with the fact Brian and Justin were safe and secure together, it probably made things worse for her because she envied his talent and his partner. *whew wordy*

Anyway, I read your reason behind the truth theme, but I had figured that out this morning when I wasn't multitasking.:) It was there love for each other that was both the light and truth in their lives even with all the plotting and turmoil they have had to endure.

Oh, and I love that hammock scene under the stars. Ridicously romantic!

 



Author's Response:

Thanks Sandra *hugs* I know this is a pretty 'involved' story - I had to read it over again myself before I remembered all of the little nuances. (MOST of which still make sense - LOL!) I'm so thrilled you liked the hammock scene. I have a really clear memory of writing that, and it's still my favorite scene in the whole story. Ridiculously romantic indeed *g* As for Lindsay, I agree that, at face value, she does seem mean and manipulative but - to give her just a tiny bit of credit in the context of this story - she did have to make a very hard decision  in choosing Michael over Brian. Moreover, she had to push Brian away to make sure he wouldn't discover her plan or try to interfere. Unfortunate that she chose to do so by attacking Justin but, well, this is Lindsay. And you're right - I do think she legitimately envied Justin's talent, and that he wasn't doing what she would do if she was a gifted. 

I'm glad the reasons behind the 'truth' idea came through. It was kind important for the story because one of the twins' middle name was 'Verity', for that truth.

Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for your wonderful and insightful review. I really appreciate it so much *hugs*

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2012 08:48 AM · On: You is for Utopia

“But I want to always remember our part in conceiving this baby, Brian; through passion and love and sincerity.”

My little rays of Sunshine. My little rays of truth.

 

I'm beginning to see things more clearly now. These children are treated as a blessing and part of Justin's and Brian's family from the moment of pre-conception. I am a little confused about the truth part, though.



Author's Response:

The 'truth' part related to the truth of Brian and Justin's love for one another. That is, they're not doing this - becoming surrogate parents - because they want to help Lindsay and Melanie jump through legal hoops. They're doing it because of the truth of their love. The babies will 'proof' of their love, only without them feeling as if they ever had to go out and prove anything. I'm not sure if that makes any more sense, but I think that was what I was trying to get at. It's been while since I wrote this story - LOL!

Thanks again for reading and for all your wonderful reviews and questions. They all mean a lot :-)

 

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2012 04:45 AM · On: You is for Utopia

...we could adopt or find a surrogate mother.

Okay, I've calmed down. I was the middle of trying to hang Mona Lisa abpove my bed when I heard this (I multitask, a hazzard of my job). I get it now and so did Brian. Apparently, I didn't remember this story as I thought as Justin fooled them all with his ultimatum. You go boy!

I love this story!



Author's Response:

Thanks Sandra *hugs* Yes, Justin is not as naive as he seems at the beginning of this story. He knows what he wants and how to get it - and more importantly, he knows how to get Brian to want what he wants as well... Thanks again for reading (while multi-tasking!) and for your wonderful comment. *hugs*

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2012 04:19 AM · On: You is for Utopia

Okay, I had to stop while I was cooking fried cabbage for dinner (got to get the kid to eat more vegetables). I was disapointed that Justin would go along with that viper. I thought he wanted Brian to father the child anyway. And what about surrogates? Did he feel that that viper was fit to mother another child? All I could feel was this Justin was naivete to nth degree. He had seen what Brian had gone through. AAARGH! It's like watching an accident happening.

Here's my question: What was the motive for this story. What compelled you to write it this way? Just curious. Of course the story itself is excellent, but I often wonder why authors write certain stories, what the motivation was. As you can tell, this story has me in a emotional tailspin.

Hugs,

Sandra:)



Author's Response:

Fried cabbage? Hmm. I can see that working. Sounds like a better deal than boiled cabbage *g*

As for why Justin agreed to do as Lindsay asked, there are a number of reasons. First of all, as horrible as he may have been to him, Lindsay is Gus' mother. Having a child with her meant that his baby and Gus would be related, thus strengthening Justin's bond with Brian. Secondly, Justin knows LIndsay, and has known her for a long time. I can see that being a distinct advantage over having to go through the agonizing process of having to find a surrogate mother, who they couldn't possibly get to know the surrogate as well as they know Lindsay. It's not just Lindsay that Justin is factoring into the equation here - it's the child that Lindsay could produce. Again, Justin knows how well Gus turned out, and Gus is only half Brian, biologically speaking... And finally, adapting or finding a surrogate could take Brian and Justin years and years. To Justin, this could have seemed like a Godsend. He had really wanted to become a father, and here was this opportunity being handed to him on a silver platter. Why would he say 'no'?

I started this story primarily as a sequel to 'Atavism' - I wanted to see how far this life Brian and Justin had rekindled could go. Funnily enough, the story ended up taking a very different track than I had intended at first. I'd initially planned to have Lindsay miscarry, and to have Brian help Justin through that disappointment and sense of loss. But instead, primarily through readers comments, I was inspired to go through with the pregnancy and make Justin a father. Until I wrote this story, I'd never been a fan of the whole 'Justin and Brian with children' genre because I found it centered too often on the children. I wanted to write story that was about them as parents and as partners. I was really glad I did because it revealed some interesting things about both of their characters in the end.

Thanks so much for reading and for your insightful review *hugs*

 

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: November 04, 2012 04:10 AM · On: You is for Utopia

You’re a huge disappointment to everyone in this room, Justin! 

Now I remember this story. I wanted to read the second part to Atavism. It has been a while, but it's all coming back to me. This story was so painful to read. I was ready to tear into Lindsay a lot more than Brian did although he did a spectacular job. I was angry that no one defended Justin or said anything to Lindsay. I know Debbie and her family were afraid to upset the apple cart of having another child, but that they allowed it to go on showed how much Lindsay could manipulate them and how much little self respect they had and or respect for Justin. Perhaps Lindsay was right.



Author's Response:

Hey Sandra :-) I can see you were having an interesting time with this story *g* I'm afraid this is another fic in which I'm not very kind to Lindsay but again, it stems from my not understanding how she could possibly have done what she did to Brian and Justin at the end of season 5. As Lindsay describes in a later chapter, she isn't being horrible to Justin here just out of impulse. She's trying to push Brian away so she doesn't regret choosing not to have a second child with him. She still loves Brian, but she and Mel have decided to go with Michael and his 'more stable' life instead. Also, Lindsay and Mel are under a time constraint (although Brian and Justin don't know it yet). Lindsay isn't sure if Brian's only having one testicle will compromise her ability to conceive faster. To avoid having to face these realities, she's pushing Brian away by being horrible to Justin. Self-sacrificing? Perhaps. As for why no one else did or said anything, I expect they were all just shocked...

Thanks so much for your review, as always :-)

 

Reviewer: no sleep (Signed) · Date: October 29, 2012 09:20 AM · On: Atavisim

"And all I’d be able to create would be empty shells..."

I'm always sleep deprivated by Suinday but Ihave to spend time with the kid and hubby, so I watched TV with him. I read this to prevent myself from going insane (the cartoons kids watch theses days).

Anyway, I was mesmerized by the romantic and heartwarming flow of this story. I hated the way the show ended. This story was a beautiful way of rectifying it. 

It made so much sense for Justin to be with Brian to become an an artist. All through the show, Brian was his muse -- his impetus to create the art he did. Why would he separate from it? He was on the right path to begin with. 

And I loved the phoenix symbolism.

Perfect as always.

Sandra:)



Author's Response:

Thanks Sandra *hugs* I'm glad this story was able to save some of your sanity :-) I'm also thrilled that you found this tale heartwarming and perhaps ridiculously romantic. I always hated the way the show ended as well, mainly because I just couldn't believe it would ever happen that way. I refused to believe that all Brian had been through in the five years since he met Justin ultimately didn't change anything about him. Because it changed everything about him, and irreversibly so. The other thing that really bugged me was that it wasn't like Justin was going to the Falkland Islands. He was going to New York for goodness sake - which is what? An hour-long plane ride away, max? It's ridiculous to think that Brian and Justin couldn't have made the effort to see each other on a semi-regular basis - that barely even counts as a 'long distance relationship'. And then there's the issue of why Justin would have gone to New York to start with. If Andy Warhol could make it in Pittsburgh, there's no reason Justin couldn't. It's not like the city is a cultural desert with New York as a shining oasis of opportunity. Nope. I don't but it. I don't buy it at all.

So I had to fix it. And I'm glad you liked the result *hugs* Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for your wonderful review. It means so much :-)

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2012 05:20 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I both loathe and love this little series.  I loathe Justin feeling defeated by the NY fire, the pain Brian must have felt waiting to see if Justin would choose him, the way Lindsay schemed and used the faimily without thought to the fall out, and then unhesitatingly turning to Justin, despite her dispicable words to him, to ask for his help.  I loathe that Justin got his dream of a family, a child, realised due to that scheming.  I double loathe how Lindsay then again turned on him and tried to keep the children herself.  I'm just glad you didn't write some terribly heart wrenching chapter about her selfless and painful decision to allow the girls to live with their fathers.

I love how Justin becomes aware that the choice between Brian and His Art had already been made for them.  Brian, their life together, is his art, is his source of inspiration, is his reason.  And I love how he was able to express this to Brian so that Brian knew he was his first and only choice.  I love Britin.  I love the twins, their names, and the love the men have for them and Gus.  I love the real wedding proposal, the poem and the memory book, and finally I adore the painting.

This story is in my top 10, but is also one I find hard to read with any frequency.  It is a perfect reflection of the angst life can put you though, lol.



Author's Response:

Thanks :-) I'm really glad that you loved a lot of the story, but I fully appreciate that there are parts in it that are not warm and fuzzy. A story has to have a plot, and a plot has to have a conflict. Urgo, in fiction - as in real life - shit has to happen, people have to get hurt and pain has to be felt. I personally really love writing angst because it gives me such profound insight into the characters, and it makes the parts of the story that are warm and fuzzy more meaningful. This story actually surprised me in a lot of ways. I personally have never really been a fan of stories where Brian and Justin have kids, and I'd never expected to write one. But the idea for this just seemed like such a perfect lead-in from 'Atavism' that I decided to give it a shot. You say that you loathe that Justin had to achieve his dream of being a father through scheming, but it was really the only way my muse was going to get there. And to my immense surprise, I found that this Brian and this Justin were really great as parents. Who knew? *g*

Thanks so much for reading. I'm thrilled that this story is in your top ten, and that there are lots of parts you like. I can appreciate why you hate parts of it. (Ironically, those are the parts I love ;-) It is, as you say, a reflection of life.

Reviewer: M_elle_22 (Signed) · Date: September 13, 2012 04:40 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I love your poem "Dream Pool".  It is profound and awesome.  I'd say it's amazing you wrote it when you were only 16, but I know that as adults we don't grow to see truth more clearly, but more compromised.  A youth's optimism and strong sense of right and wrong are beautiful.  Of course great art can come from them.  :)

I loved that Brian 'wrote' it for Sunshine, and gave him a book ready to hold all their memories.  I'd felt the occasional urge to comment on this story, but that part just made me swoon with happiness and I couldnt hit 'next' until I did.  



Author's Response:

Thanks :-D I'm really glad you like the poem 'Dream Pool'. Even though I wrote it thirteen years ago now, I can still really relate to the ideas behind it. I've always been intrigued by the idea that the chances of the specific circumstances that brought us here as individuals actually occurring is so infinitesimally small on a universal scale that it's almost impossible. Like, what would happen if your parents didn't meet? Or your grandparents? Or your great-grandparents? You wouldn't be here as the person you are today. I'm very much a 'big picture' thinker, and these kinds of questions have always kept me wondering and questioning. The sentiment - almost that it's fate that brings us to the here and now - seemed perfect for this part of the story. Kind of like a promise that whatever had brought them together would keep them together. It's kind of ridiculously romantic, but... well, this chapter was meant to be *g*

Thanks again for reading and for your wonderful comment. It means a lot :-)

Reviewer: Sisa (Anonymous) · Date: September 07, 2012 01:00 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I just finished the whole serie and have to thank you for such a nice stories. I really love Justin as a father because he would be wonderful and also liked manipulative Munchers and protective/supportive Brian. The last chapter was really nice balm for one soul filled with love and hope. Great work.



Author's Response:

Thanks Sisa! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this :-) This is actually one of my favorite stories, too. I'm normally not such a huge fan of B/J with children stories, but this seemed such a good follow-up to the end of 'Atavism' that I thought I'd give it a shot. I ended up really like Justin as a father, and I was surprised how naturally Brian fit into the supporting role. I'm so glad you thought so as well. Thanks so much for reading and for your lovely review. It means a lot and I appreciate it so much :-)

Reviewer: charlotte taylor (Anonymous) · Date: August 01, 2012 04:56 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I just HAD to finish ths story in one go.I can honestly say this is one of the best I have read.Thankyou so much for sharing.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much! Your wonderful review made my day. I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed this story :-) Thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful comment!

Reviewer: Anno53 (Anonymous) · Date: March 20, 2011 05:07 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I read your story again, Saph and it was just as great as the first time I read it. It's like a fine wine that ages beautifully! :)



Author's Response:

Thanks :-) I'm so glad you enjyed it just as much this time around :-) Thanks so much for reading, as always!

Reviewer: crazykitty (Anonymous) · Date: November 06, 2010 09:44 PM · On: You is for Utopia

thank you for sharing. great story



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful review!

Reviewer: crazykitty (Anonymous) · Date: November 06, 2010 05:52 PM · On: Atavisim

I'm happy that Justin chose to remain with Brian



Author's Response:

Me, too ;-) I'm a sucker for a happy ending... Thanks so much for reading and for your review!

Reviewer: shimayo (Anonymous) · Date: August 31, 2010 03:02 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I think this is my favorite chapter , so much love and tenderness.

Thanks a lot for posting.



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you liked this chapter, and that you could feel the love and tenderness :-) Thanks again for reading and for all your wonderful comments. They mean a lot :-)

Reviewer: shimayo (Anonymous) · Date: August 30, 2010 09:26 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Good starting. I understand Justin's frustration, it is never easy when it comes to this topic.

Thank you for sharing.

 



Author's Response:

Thanks you for reading :-) You're right in that it is always difficult to decided when and if the time has come to start expanding a family. It's a little different for Brian and Justin, I suppose, because the have to do it through Lindsay and Melanie, but it's still a really big decision... Thanks again for reading and for your review!

Reviewer: shimayo (Anonymous) · Date: August 30, 2010 08:57 PM · On: Atavisim

Very nice story, I particularly love the three last lines, how smart of you! 

Now, i'm going to read the sequel, promising good moments...



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I really hope you'll like the sequel :-) Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review!

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: May 26, 2010 12:43 AM · On: You is for Utopia

"We’re doing this for them; we did all of this for them!” ~ No you did it for you, just like you're having this new baby to save your asses...

Maybe they should just come home... never should have left...

Or maybe they should just have the baby and give them to Brian and Justin; at the least they should demand the same parental right and custody back for Gus as well...

Later Darling ~ Kathleen



Author's Response:

Thanks Kathleen. I agree that Lindsay and Mel should never have left - it was so unfair of them, and it broke Brian's heart. I just wished Lindsay loved Brian enough to see how much Gus meant to him. I think they could have tried a little harded and stayed in Pittsburgh... At least Brian and Justin will have custody over the new babies. Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review. It really means a lot :-)

Reviewer: 7wildwaysup (Signed) · Date: May 25, 2010 06:04 AM · On: Atavisim

So Sweet... Now its time to come home and let your love shine...

Later Baby ~ Kathleen



Author's Response:

Hi Kathleen! Sorry for not responding to this sooner - I've been out of e-contact for almost three weeks. But it was such a treat to see this review when I got back from my trip :-) I'm thrilled that you've enjoyed this story, and that you thought it was sweet :-) Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful comment. It means a lot ;-)

Reviewer: dzmom (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 03:41 AM · On: You is for Utopia

That poem is beautiful and utterly perfect for your Brian and Justin. I love the story as well.


Although, I do feel for poor little Gus.



Author's Response:

Thank you! I'm thrilled that you've enjoyed this story, and that you liked my little poem :-) I admit that I have some issues with dealing with Gus in the fic. My rationale in leaving him with Mel and Lindsay was that as Gus was school-aged in this story, shunting him back and forth between Toronto and Pittsburgh may have disrupted his education and his 'routine'. I think Brian would recognized this- he's always wanted what was best for his son. But Gus would visit Brian and Justin during the holidays and the summer, so it's not like they would never spend time together. But, yeah, it's not really ideal, but I think this scenario sort of works in the context of this story. Anyway, I'm very happy that you've enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading, and for your wonderful comment!

Reviewer: galenut (Anonymous) · Date: February 19, 2010 05:53 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I LOVED THIS STORY GREAT JOB.



Author's Response:

I'm thrilled that you've enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful comment - it really means a lot :-)

Reviewer: manuela (Anonymous) · Date: November 12, 2009 08:39 PM · On: Atavisim

I'm very late, I read this story just now for the first time. I'm glad I found it, because it's beautiful. I love Justin chose Brian, I'm a hopeless romantic and I think love is the most important thing and fullfills you like nothing else.

Justin's just line was amazing, I admit it made me tear up a little.

Thanks for the beautiful story, I really love your style, I read other things written by you and loved all of them.



Author's Response:

Thanks!! I'm so happy to hear from you :-) It's always a real pleasure to hear from readers. Anyway, I'm very glad you enjoyed this story! I'm a ridiculous romantic as well, so this story could of course end no other way ;-) I've always maintained that Brian and Justin belonged together forever. Thanks again for reading and thank you for your wonderful comment. I really, really appreciate it!

Reviewer: mactwck (Anonymous) · Date: September 07, 2009 09:45 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I just found this.  Nicely done.



Author's Response:

I'm glad you found it, and that you enjoyed it :-D Thanks so much for reading! *hugs*



Author's Response:

I'm glad you found it, and that you enjoyed it :-D Thanks so much for reading! *hugs*

Reviewer: sunshineface (Signed) · Date: April 28, 2009 08:12 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Oh Mya281; How sweet and romantic your stories are! I love this series, really!

Author's Response: LOL :-) It's actually 'Sapphire', not 'Mya281', so I hope you've left this comment in the right place ;-) If so, I'm really glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading, and for your wonderful comment :-D

Reviewer: 7qt (Signed) · Date: April 06, 2009 02:21 AM · On: Atavisim

Remarkable -!-An' so well written -Be proud o' yourself for doin' such a great job- I loved each an' every chapter -Brian is the only 'ART' that Justin knew from the very begining an' without him by his side The 'LIFE' in his art really does not exist-Glad to know that he realized that-Brian so beautifully knows that too 'n' loves him like nothin' else on earth-Thank god for their realization -

Author's Response: Thanks :-) I'm so glad that you enjoyed this story! The end of season 5 never made any sense to me- Justin going to New York to conquer the Art World. First of all- it came out of left field- it was a totally random thing they just throw in last minute. Secondly (and more importantly), Justin art only flourished because of Brian- without Brian's support (financial, emotionally, and otherwise) and his constant motivation, Justin may as well have gone to Dartmouth and become a business major. Anyway, this was my way of reconciling that- I'm glad you enjoyed it :-) Thanks so much for reading, and for your wonderful review!

Reviewer: Shadow1290 (Signed) · Date: August 12, 2008 09:01 AM · On: You is for Utopia

OH god I loved this! I had such a good time reading it too!

Very nicely written!

~shadow



Author's Response: I'm so pleased that you liked this story, and that you enjoyed reading it ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review!

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: August 01, 2008 09:15 PM · On: You is for Utopia

This was an incredible story! I loved it! So happy to see Brian and Justin get their happy ending!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm a sucker for happily ever afters ;) Thanks again for reading, and for all your much-adored reviews!

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: August 01, 2008 08:11 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I can't believe what Lindsey said to Justin! I love how Brian stood up to her. I was hurting for Justin after she insulted him like that.

Author's Response: Yeah, Lindsay was a bit of a witch in this chapter- the things she said to Justin were pretty awful. But at least he had Brian to stand up for him... I hope you enjoy the rest of this story ;) Thanks so much for reading, and for all you much-loved reviews!

Reviewer: Kat (Signed) · Date: August 01, 2008 07:53 AM · On: Atavisim

Wow, this story was fantastic. That last love scene, I only wish it had played out on the show! The last line was brilliant!

Author's Response: Thanks Kat ;) I'm pleased that you enjoyed this story! I kinda likr the last love scene, too- all hot and steamy in more ways than one... I'm glad you liked that last line, too ;) Thanks so much for reading, as always, and for your much-adored review!

Reviewer: dreaminhappy (Anonymous) · Date: June 19, 2008 12:35 PM · On: Atavisim

I just read all six chapters of this and loved every single word. This was great it grabs hold of u and doesn't let go until those last amazing, perfect last lines. I really enjoyed it :)

P.S. the sex scenes were really hott ;)



Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this story (and that you liked 'those scenes' ;))! Thank you so much for reading and for your very much-adored review! If you're interested, this story has a sequel called 'You is for Utopia' (also complete). I just couldn't resist continuing with this brand of B/J warm fuzziness ;) Thanks again!

Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: May 03, 2008 01:06 PM · On: You is for Utopia

What a delightful fic. So full of hope, love and the power of love. Utopia by definition is where these two have found themselves.

Author's Response: I'm really glad your enjoyed it! I've alwasy thought Utopia is where Brain and Justin deserve to be... Thanks so much for reading and for your awesome comments!

Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: May 02, 2008 07:04 PM · On: You is for Utopia

OK it's 4am in the morning and try as I might I amd driffting off to sleep at my screen. I will have to cintinue with this tomorrow, later.

Author's Response: It's Ok, you don't have to read it all at once ;) I know it's a bit of a marathon. You probably need the sleep! Thanks again for reading and for your review!

Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: May 02, 2008 05:41 PM · On: Atavisim

The last lines in this fic have me in a mess of emotion, so perfectly placed. I really did like this one as it was honest and didn't make it seem like Jusin was taking the lesser option, so good.

Author's Response: Thanks! I glad you enjoyed it. It's too bad Justin didn't realize this in the first place- it would have saved us all a lot of grief! You've probably figured this out already, but this story has a sequel called 'You is For Utopia'. If your interested ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your much-adored reveiws!

Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: May 02, 2008 05:31 PM · On: Atavisim

What is it with these most magical last lines...?



Author's Response: I'm a hopeless romantic ;) Thanks for this reveiw!

Reviewer: gerri (Signed) · Date: May 02, 2008 04:58 PM · On: Atavisim

Well here I ma at 2am and so engrossed but that last line deserved some praise.

Author's Response: Thanks! I admire your persistance ;) Thanks for your comment!

Reviewer: qbee (Signed) · Date: April 20, 2008 06:40 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I am...I have no words!

I started reading this on your LJ and then found the rest here and had to keep reading until the very end.

All I can say is 'Dream Pool' and the MEMORIES book just blew me away. I cried and cried from the sheer beauty of that!

And yes, this epilogue just finished it off to perfection. But I'll miss this 'universe'.

BRAVA!



Author's Response: Thanks!!! I'm so very pleased that you enjoyed it! It is really a labour of love. I had intened to post the rest on LJ this weekend, but my 'real life' got in the way as it tends to do sometimes. But I'm so glad you came to find the rest of this story here :) (Just so you know, the version on LJ is/ will be just a tiny bit different as the editing process is ongoing- but it's only a few words/ lines). And thank you, thank you, thank you for adding me as a 'favorite author'- that really means a lot! Again, I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this. Thanks so much for reading and for your comment!!!

Reviewer: Karen (Anonymous) · Date: April 19, 2008 08:37 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Wonderful, wonderful finish. Thank you.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this!! Thanks for reading and for your comment!

Reviewer: Big J (Anonymous) · Date: April 17, 2008 10:14 AM · On: You is for Utopia

Omigosh, what can I say? This brought tears to my eyes. "We were the painting. We were the art. We were the masterpiece." - so many great quotes in this chapter too numerous to mention.  I loved the painting and all it meant with its' different "bits" and the way you told us about them.  I feel like this story has been a journey for us as well as the painting has been a journey for Justin. I loved your description of Lucy being a star and Justin wanting to disown her.  Then Liberty with Brian was ooohhh sooo cute. A beautiful story - just so many great moments and I've loved every one of them. “It doesn’t matter where we’re going,” I told him softly, resting my forehead against his “as long as we’re going together.” Sob, sob.

Author's Response:

Thank you. Really. Your comment means so much to me. I'm so very glad you enjoyed it. Like Justin's painting, I feel this story is sort of like a masterpiece for me- more so than the other stories for some reason. It's so awesome to know that people have enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. Thank you again for your wonderful, wonderful words. I love them all :)

Reviewer: Anna (Anonymous) · Date: April 16, 2008 10:07 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I like this story very much. Thank you for writing it:)

Author's Response: And thank you :) Where would I be without such dedicated readers? I'm so very glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for your comment!

Reviewer: Moonshadow Woman (Signed) · Date: April 16, 2008 10:05 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I've enjoyed reading this story very much

 



Author's Response: Thank you- that means so much coming from you :) Although I have you to thank- for everything. Without Midnight Whispers, I wouldn't have started writing QAF stories. It opened up a door that I didn't even know exisited. I think I may go as far as to say it's changed a little part of who I am for the better. I'm so very glad you took the time to read this story and that you enjoyed so much. And thank you for your comment- it really means a lot :) ~ Sapphire.

Reviewer: Ergenie (Anonymous) · Date: April 16, 2008 04:41 PM · On: You is for Utopia

oh no!!.. it has ended!... this is a beautiful story... i looked forward for updates by you all the time.... great work! can't wait to read more from you... cheers...

Author's Response: Thanks- I'm so glad you enjoyed it :) I really enjoyed writing it as well. And thank you for reading- it really means a lot to know there are people out there who enjoy my stories. And thank you again for your wonderful comment!

Reviewer: Lynn (Anonymous) · Date: April 16, 2008 02:55 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Great ending. *g*

Author's Response: Thanks, Lynn. And thank you for being such a dedicated reader. I really do apprieciate it very much. And I cherish all of your reveiws. Thank you!!!

Reviewer: Sara (Anonymous) · Date: April 16, 2008 04:02 AM · On: You is for Utopia

beautiful story

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so very glad you found it so. Thank you for reading and for all your wonderful reveiws!

Reviewer: Armandyouidiot (Anonymous) · Date: April 16, 2008 02:27 AM · On: You is for Utopia

All caught up in time for this lovely finish. This story is one I will read again and again.  It makes me very happy to visit these sweet girls - and their fathers, of course.

Author's Response: Thanks. I'm kinda sad that this story is finished. I loved the characters of Lucy and Libby- even though they were just babies and then young children. But I think its what they signify is the reason I'm so fond of them... I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this story and that you'll come back to it. Thanks so much for reading and for all your much adored comments!

Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: April 16, 2008 01:35 AM · On: You is for Utopia

That was a wonderful ending. It was beautiful and heartwarming. Thank you so much for sharing this great story.

Author's Response: Thanks Jackie :) Thank you so much for being such a dedicated reader; I loved every one of your reveiws- they are very much appriecated. I'm so pleased that you loved this last chapter. I have to admit that when I was writing about Justin finishing his masterpiece, I was really drawing paralells with my finishing this story... Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for all your reviews!!

Reviewer: foreverfolked (Anonymous) · Date: April 16, 2008 12:41 AM · On: You is for Utopia

Jesus, I think it's going to take me a while for this outstanding pience of literature to sink in. Soooo for now, I'm just going to tell you that I am breathless from your talent and the way you gave this family such a sense of freedom, love and togetherness... I really am just floored, this is definitely one of my favorite pieces of work I've ever read.

 

Thank you so much for sharing this, Rory Harold 



Author's Response:

And thank you so much, Rory; I owe you so much as well :) I have to say that I write only because I love it- because there is no greater thrill than getting words to sing for me. And it is such an incredible joy to know that people love to read it. I can't tell you how honoured I am by your wonderful words- what can I say, but thank you. Thank you. ~Sapphire

Reviewer: Carlina (Anonymous) · Date: April 16, 2008 12:32 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I love this story. It's so beautiful and romantic. I'm so glad that Brian and Justin found their UTOPIA. A great post-513 series story. Great work.

Hugs,

Carlina



Author's Response: Thanks Carlina! I'm a real sucker for a happy ending :) I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this story and the series; I think "Utopia' and 'Atavism' may be some of my best efforts. Thanks so much for reading and for your reveiw; it is much appriecated!

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2008 10:48 PM · On: You is for Utopia

i loved this sapphire. it warms my heart to know how cherished these characters are by writers such as yourself. thank you.

now, how did i miss "alright"? i thought it all started with "white and the colour within". can i find it here? or on your LJ site. please let me know.



Author's Response:

Thanks :) I just love these characters and the world they live in. Thank you so much for reading and for all your wonderful comments!

The story 'Alright' is posted on this site; it should be under my stories, and is also in my series here called 'Justin and Cancer'. The story is also about Justin getting testicular cancer, excpet it's set in a different time frame than 'The Colour Within'. It was the first fic I ever wrote (and this is pretty evident...) I will probably also post it on my LJ site at some time too. Thanks again!

Reviewer: camjakefan@livejournal.com (Anonymous) · Date: April 15, 2008 10:13 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I must say the scene with Justin and Brian giving my terms made my day.

Author's Response: Yeah...I thought it was finally time Brian and Justin got their comeuppance. It felt so good to write that part ;) Thanks for coming here to find this story and thanks so much for the review!!

Reviewer: edom (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2008 09:44 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Beautiful.

Author's Response: Thanks; I'm glad you thought so :) Not that it really matters, but I would be interested to know why you gave this chapter a rating of 5 out of 10. I guess I'd just like to know so I can improve on whatever it is in future stories. Thanks for reading and for your comment!

Reviewer: Linda (Anonymous) · Date: April 12, 2008 01:17 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Wonderful story! I loved the last scene; ridiculously romantic! The babies were really cute. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks you very much for reading and for your comment!

Reviewer: Lynn (Anonymous) · Date: April 09, 2008 03:15 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I really enjoyed this story and also loved the poem. *grins* Looking forward for the final chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks :) I very pleased that you enjoyed it! Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews- they are always much appreciated!

Reviewer: nazdre (Signed) · Date: April 09, 2008 04:56 AM · On: You is for Utopia

This was beautiful. It made me want to cry (in a happy way). And your poem was beautiful. I can't believe you wrote that at 16. I'm glad you still have it though. I wrote a poem when I was in high school that I was proud of, but I have no idea what happened to it.

 

I'm glad you're choosing to do an epilogue. I'd really like to see another scene for the boys. Maybe something that also shows Brian's ring???



Author's Response: Thanks :) I wrote a few poems like this one when I was in high school; I guess that was the first time I became fascinated by the idea that our lives are just made up of seeminly 'random' moments. Most of the poems aren't very good; but I kinda like this one. I don't know what made me think of it... Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope you'll enjoy the epilogue, too ;) Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful reviews!

Reviewer: Big J (Anonymous) · Date: April 09, 2008 03:46 AM · On: You is for Utopia

OMG woman you really know how to tug at my heart strings.  I just got goose bumps all over me.  I'll be so sad when this ends. Just adored this as usual.  Their intereaction with the babies and Gus is so realistic and cute.  I just want to take them all home and look after them.  My fave line: "Well at least we managed to save the baby, even if we did lose the bathwater,” such a funny take on an ancient saying.

Author's Response: Thanks! I've discovered I really enjoy writing about 'Daddy Brian'. And I kinda like these babies as well; in my world, all babies are cute and cuddly all the time and never cry (and if they do, you can always hand them back to their parents ;) I'm so glad that you've enjoyed this and that you 'felt' it all. Thanks so much for reading and for your amazing comments, as always!

Reviewer: Anonymous (Anonymous) · Date: April 09, 2008 12:56 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I just have to say one word "Ridiculously Romantic" and I just LOVED IT. Can't wait for the epilogue. Great work.

 Hugs,

Carlina



Author's Response: I'm so glad you said 'ridiculously romantic' and not 'kinda weird and existential'. I couldn't just have Brian be, like, 'Marry me'; sometimes the 'cheese factor' just adds something ;) I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading and for your comments! 

Reviewer: Gina Marie (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2008 11:47 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I love this story!  And that poem is amazing..truly beautiful..  Your talent shines, thank you for sharing.



Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading!! I just love to share ;) I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this and that you liked the poem. I'm glad I managed to dig it up again after all these years (OK, well eight years, but that's a while). Thanks for reading and for your wonderful reveiw!

Reviewer: Sarah (Anonymous) · Date: April 08, 2008 11:46 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I think I might have actually stopped breathing there for a moment. Beautiful!

Author's Response: Thanks ;) I'm so very pleased that you found this 'breathtaking'... Thank you so much for reading and for you're much adored comment!

Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: April 08, 2008 11:44 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Wow...that was amazing. A perfect way to end it. Wonderful job.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it ;) Hope you'll stick around for the epilouge. Thanks again for reading and for your wonderful comments!

Reviewer: Suse (Anonymous) · Date: April 08, 2008 11:03 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I am in awe!

Author's Response: I'm so pleased :) Thank you so much for reading and for your review :)

Reviewer: Anna (Anonymous) · Date: April 08, 2008 09:38 PM · On: You is for Utopia

A beautiful chapter and a very beautiful poem:) Thank you for writing

Author's Response: And that you so much for reading :) I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Thanks so much for your much adored comment!

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: April 08, 2008 08:52 PM · On: You is for Utopia

you wrote that poem? it is beautiful, as is the entire chapter.

“It’s full of memories. Memories that are out there somewhere just waiting to exist…that can only be real if we let them to be made.”

“Make these memories with me, Justin,” “That’s ‘I will’ over and over and over again…That’s ‘I will’ every second of my life until the day I die.”

simply stunning.



Author's Response: Thanks :) I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this chapter ;) Yeah, I went through a 'poerty' phase when I was in high school and this poem was one of the things that came out of that. It seems like I wrote it a long time ago, but I guess its only really been eight years. I'm not sure what made me think of it... Anyway, thank you again for reading and for every one of your most excellent reveiws and comments. Thay are so much appriecated!

Reviewer: JTee (Anonymous) · Date: April 05, 2008 12:47 AM · On: Atavisim

Great finale!!

I am not sure I can adequately convey to you how much I enjoyed and admire this tale. You're an intelligent, good storyteller- no wasted words and no boring moments. And best of all you really *get* the season five ending and a hypothetical post 5 Brian and Justin, what they were going through, their motivations, their relationship and why certain things happened-very insightful and true to the characters. 

Thank you for the wonderful fic!



Author's Response: Thank you! What an awesome review; definatly one I'll treasure :) I'm really very pleased you enjoyed the story, the writing and the characters. I get no greater thrill than from getting words to sing for me, so it's such a pleasure and an honour to know that people enjoy reading them as well. So thanks again for reading this story and for your most excellent reveiw!!

Reviewer: JTee (Anonymous) · Date: April 05, 2008 12:25 AM · On: Atavisim

Whew, You really know how to grab your readers by the short hairs right from the starting gate. Brilliant!

Horribly realistic, even more so than seeing it happen in person-amazing Justin POV, nearly killed me.

Great writing!



Author's Response: Thanks :) I kinda like to refer to this as 'the Goosebumps Chapter'. I remember the momentum when I was writing it was pretty intense; I just couldn't stop or I felt I'd 'break the spell'. Anyway, I'm so pleased that you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for the review!

Reviewer: Big J (Anonymous) · Date: April 02, 2008 01:40 PM · On: You is for Utopia

OMG, this was just beautifully written.  I know just how Justin feels.  Sleep deprivation is the hardest thing to take when you have a baby and two would be double the exhaustion. Brian is sensational with the twins and him reading Justins' mind is just guh.  I have no words.

Author's Response: Thanks :) I'm glad you think I manage to capture that 'new baby stress' feeling. I actually have no experience with babies, but I can just imagine how stressful it is to be a new parent. I have aunts who are twins and my grandmother always said she wouldn't wish twins on her worst enemy ;) I'm really pleased that you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks so much for the review!

Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: April 02, 2008 08:48 AM · On: You is for Utopia

Thank goodness Justin has Brian o earase bad Teletubbie dreams. I loved seeing it through Brian's eyes. Great chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next.



Author's Response: Teletubbies always creep me out. Like, what are they? Aliens? Mutants? I'll stick with Care Bears and My Little Ponies...a much safer bet :) I'm glad you liked this chapter through Brian's POV. Thanks so much for the review!!

Reviewer: Anna (Anonymous) · Date: April 02, 2008 07:20 AM · On: You is for Utopia

A beautiful chapter! Thank you for writing. Looking forward to more

Author's Response: Thanks. I wasn't 100% happy with this chapter when I first wrote it, so I'm very pleased you thought it was beautiful. Thank you :) Your review is much adored ;)

Reviewer: Meg (Anonymous) · Date: April 02, 2008 02:40 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I loved this chapter and it was really hot, cant wait for brian to ask justin to marry him :)

Author's Response: Thanks :) I always think that Justin doesn't get enough opportunities  to top... I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. Thanks so much for your reveiw!!

Reviewer: carlina (Anonymous) · Date: April 01, 2008 11:52 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I really love this story. It's written so beautifully. I love brian's POV, it shows how he truly loves Justin with all of his heart. I can't wait for Justin and the twins to go back to Britin, where they all can be a fanily together. Also, can't wait for Brian to propose to Justin. Keep up the great work.

Hugs,

Carlina.

 



Author's Response: Thanks ;) Wonderful reveiws like this one are what keep me writing. Thank you :) I'm so glad you liked this chapter from Brian's POV; I hope you continue to enjoy this story. Thank you again for your much adored reveiw; it is much apprieciated!

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: April 01, 2008 11:14 PM · On: You is for Utopia

oh honey not rambling at all. it was beautiful. what amazed me most was that they were brian's thoughts and not justin's.

"There could be nothing in my life- nothing that could possibly happen- that would even make me stop loving Justin. Loving him was as essential now as breathing, as essential as the heartbeat beneath my fingertips." that has to be one of the best lines ever written for brian to say or think.

well done.



Author's Response: Thanks; I'm so glad you thought it was alright. I usually have time to go back and structure the framework of a chapter a little better, but I fell short of time this week. But may be it worked out better that way for this chapter; my random thoughts and feeling became Brian's. I'm really very pleased that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for your always much-adored reveiws!

Reviewer: Lynn (Anonymous) · Date: April 01, 2008 10:28 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Great chapter. Looking forward for more.

Author's Response:

I'm really glad you're enjoying it! Thanks so much for reading and for your reveiws; they're always much apprieciated!

Reviewer: Sigi (Anonymous) · Date: April 01, 2008 09:34 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Don't worry.. this wasn't rambling.. this was simply beautiful!

Author's Response: Thanks; I'm so glad you think so. I sat down and wrote this chapter all at once and it just kinda seemed like 'too many words'- so thank you for telling me it was beautiful anyway ;) Your reveiws are always very much adored!

Reviewer: sjmpets3 (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2008 06:34 AM · On: You is for Utopia

knew that bitch would try something. did she think justin would just give up when it became too difficult? ha. he fought to get brian didn't he? i just hope that they'll be home in two months without ant problems. unless lindsay dies then they would never be apart again.

Author's Response: Yeah...I'm not huge Lindsay fan either. As terrible as this sounds, I wanted to make her really awful so that I wouldn't feel bad for her when Justin and Brian took the babies away to Britin. But I don't...I've succsessfully dealt with that internal guilt trip :) Thanks for your reveiw, as ever!

Reviewer: Armandyouidiot (Anonymous) · Date: March 26, 2008 05:18 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I am so glad to see you have brought this story back and are continuing!  Exciting, emotional chapter and a relief to read that both babies are alright.  You certainly captured the overwhelming wonder of a parent seeing their newborn. 

“My child. 

 

That was her hand, and she was real and alive and beautiful and utterly perfect. 

 

In the moment, I felt as if I could reach out and touch the face of God." 

 

Poor Justin caring for TWO tiny new babies, how exhausting.  I love that Brian is showing up faithfully and helping and appreciating him.  It just seems so right that through their connection Brian “…already knew. He knew and understood and cared; it was all laid out there, engulfed in his loving, compassionate concern.” I will hold that scene in my heart. 

Author's Response: Thanks- I'm really glad you loved it :) I was a bit worried about writing the first 'scene' of this chapter because- as I've never actually witnessed childbirth in real life- I don't really know what it's like. I'm glad you think I've managed to 'capture the moment', as it were. Thank you for this wonderful reveiw; it means a lot :)

Reviewer: nazdre (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2008 03:44 AM · On: You is for Utopia

Aww, that was so sweet. I really hope their relationship stays angst free in this fic, cause while it seems slightly OCC I really like it once in a while, and I want to see them stay as happy as they are now. Friend angst, and angst over the kids is okay, but nothing to interfere with BJ...

Author's Response: I agree. I don't think I'd have the heart to tear Brian and Justin apart at this point; I think that might destroy the story. Whatever happens, I want them to go through together. Thanks for the review, as always :)

Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: March 26, 2008 03:11 AM · On: You is for Utopia

Lindsey can't be a little nicer about wanting the girls. Poor Justin it would suck being in that house. The ending was beautiful. Great chapter and I cannot wait to see what happens next.

Author's Response: Thanks:) It would certainly suck for Justin in that house (and not in the possitive, life-affirming way). But he has Brian there to protect him and they don't have long to go. Justin can fend off Lindsay for that long. Thanks for the review!!

Reviewer: Sara (Anonymous) · Date: March 26, 2008 02:12 AM · On: You is for Utopia

beautiful chapter, update soon

Author's Response: Thanks; I'm so glad you enjoyed it :) Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: snow (Signed) · Date: March 26, 2008 12:53 AM · On: You is for Utopia

wow. Another great chapter. Argh, that Lindsay! Poor Justin is at his wit's end. Glad that Brian completely understand without words. Wonderful chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks. I totally felt sorry for Justin when I was writing him in this chapter...he's so stressed out and lonely. But, as you say, good thing Brian is always there for him :) Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: edom (Signed) · Date: March 25, 2008 09:27 PM · On: You is for Utopia

Can I please smack Lindsay? What an insufferable bitch. Did she really think that Justin would just give up his children? He is much stronger than the rest of them give him credit for, exept Brian, he knows of course.

Love the story by theway :-)



Author's Response: I would totally do the honours...I'm not big Lindsay fan, as you can tell.  But, as you say, Justin is a hundred thousand times stonger than her...and Brian knows it. I'm glad you're enjoying the story :) Thanks for the reveiw!

Reviewer: Anna (Anonymous) · Date: March 25, 2008 09:12 PM · On: You is for Utopia

A cute, sad, heart warming chapter, everything. Thank you for writing:) Looking forward to more

Author's Response: Thank you for reading :) There's something about Brian and babies that is so irresistible. I'm glad you liked it :) Thanks for the review! 

Reviewer: Karen (Anonymous) · Date: March 23, 2008 03:38 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I really love this story. Please update soon!!

Author's Response: I'm on it :) Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: edom (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2008 06:05 PM · On: You is for Utopia

I love this story. Please hurry with the next chapter.

Author's Response: I'm writing it as we speak :) Thanks for the reveiw!

Reviewer: Anno53 (Anonymous) · Date: March 18, 2008 02:28 AM · On: You is for Utopia

This story is so precious! I love the fact that Justin and Brian are so into the twins being born and taking paternity leave for them. I can hardly wait for your next update! I love your writing!

Author's Response: Thanks!! I really appericate your comments :) Glad you like the story. It's been one of my favorates to write as well. I'll try and have the next chapter up ASAP...I know I kinda left it at a cliff-hanger. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Lisa (Anonymous) · Date: March 17, 2008 06:02 PM · On: Atavisim

What a well written story. I enjoyed it very much.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I hope you'll check out the sequel; "You is for Utopia". It's not complete yet, but the first five chapters are up. Thanks so much for the review!

Reviewer: snow (Signed) · Date: March 17, 2008 02:42 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I'm so glad to see this story back online!

Author's Response: Me too! I'm glad to see you back here too :)

Reviewer: Jackie (Anonymous) · Date: March 16, 2008 09:18 AM · On: You is for Utopia

Ok I hope I do this right....I'm so glad that this story is over here. It's a great story and I cannot wait to see where it goes.

Author's Response: Thanks- I'm glad I was able to get this story back up here, too :) I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I've sorted out the rest of my stories. It shouldn't take too long. Thanks so much for your review!

Reviewer: Anna (Anonymous) · Date: March 16, 2008 08:14 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I love this story, thank you for writing! Can't wait for more

Author's Response: Thank you for reading :) I'm so glad you love this story- and thanks for telling me so :) I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can.

Reviewer: Big J (Signed) · Date: March 16, 2008 07:03 AM · On: You is for Utopia

I know I reviewed this previously but seeing as it's one of my faves I thought I would thank you for reposting it. Sex in the hammock was hilarious and the rest of it makes me teary.  Much excitement ahead.  Hope Linds and the twins will be OK. 

Author's Response: Thanks! As you probably know, when the website crashed, I lost all my reveiws for all of my stories. I know it couldn't be helped, but I was quite upset because they meant a lot to me. So thank you for re-posting your reveiw; it is really, really appreciated :)

Reviewer: Ruth (Anonymous) · Date: March 15, 2008 06:40 PM · On: Atavisim

In case that you are looking for any of your fics, check this link

http://community.livejournal.com/getithere/405791.html



Author's Response: Hey thanks! I had no idea people were looking. By the way, if you're on LiveJournal, I am too. Under sapphire_3. I just started a journal there.

Reviewer: Ruth (Anonymous) · Date: March 14, 2008 04:37 PM · On: Atavisim

I love this fic. Wonderful job. Looling forward to your next update in the sequel.

Author's Response: I glad you enjoyed it! It may take a while for me to get all my stories sorted out again, but I'll have the next chapter of "You is For Utopia" up as soon as I can. Thanks for the review!

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