Huge thanks to Becky, my great beta! :) Thank you so much for the banner, Helen! :)
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Chapter 17------------------------
“Poor and content is rich, and rich enough; But riches fineless is as poor as winter To him that ever fears he shall be poor. Good God, the souls of all my tribe defend From jealousy! ”
After an uneasy moment of hesitating, Justin shook Brian’s hand tremulously, wondering if the man was only setting a trap for him by looking calm and behaving like it was the first time he saw the boy, while planning on dropping the bomb when Justin least expected it. Knowing how unpredictable and sarcastic Brian was, the blond couldn’t be sure of anything when it came to him. But when Brian’s hand squeezed his with a little more force and for a bit longer than it would have been necessary, Justin knew that the man was not going to humiliate him in front of the others. Not right then, at least. The intense gaze of those suggestive greenish brown orbs was almost burning Justin, but he was unable to look away, and if he was honest with himself, he didn’t really want to; as if keeping the eye contact with the man was the only thing that helped him to get over this incredibly embarrassing situation. Justin could feel the large, warm hand letting go of his slowly with one more gentle and barely noticeable touch. The blond wasn’t sure if it had been just his imagination, or Brian if really had stroked his hand, but he couldn’t help feeling somewhat excited as he was thinking about the latter. He told himself to come around and not to let the man make him weak again, but it seemed to be the hardest thing considering it was Brian, and considering the fact that he could rip Justin’s dignity into pieces by revealing his well-kept secret with one single snappy word. The boy hoped that the actor would be merciful and play along; he was a great actor after all. The only question was whether the man was willing to do him this favor or not. Brian was smiling nonchalantly when he spoke, “So, you’re an artist.” Justin nodded and swallowed hard. He could feel he was blushing like crazy. “And what are you good at?” Brian asked with a playful look in is eyes. Before Justin could answer Ethan stepped closer to the blond and looked at Brian. “He’s studying fine arts at PIFA. He already had some pretty impressive exhibitions.” Ethan smiled smugly and put his hand on Justin’s shoulder as he went on, “He’s very talented.” Brian didn’t bother to look at the violinist, he just kept on eyeing Justin up and down slowly and embarrassingly with a knowing smile, then said, “No shit.” Ted, noticing the tension, gave Brian a ‘what the fuck is your problem’ look, then cut in to save the conversation, “I’d love to see your work.” He said with a smile. “Well, there’s a current exhibition at PIFA, you can see some of his masterpieces there. But I’m sure Justin will show you some others as well if you want.” Ethan answered again. “That’d be great!” Ted looked at Justin expectantly. “Yeah, and he’s…” Ethan started again, and Brian got very pissed at him for not letting the blond speak, like he wasn’t there at all. “And is he a mute?” Brian looked at Ethan with a stern expression. Ethan stared back confused, not really understanding the question, but shaking his head slowly. Brian went on, “In that case you should let him answer. I’m sure your boyfriend can speak for himself without your help.” “I’m not…” Justin spoke, finally deciding to tell the others they were not together. But as he could feel five pairs of eyes on him, since Emmett had gotten back and now he joined the company, he realized how weird it would have been to say he was not Ethan’s boyfriend. Everyone thought he was, and what would have been the point of disproving Ethan in front of the people he worked with, and practically calling him a liar? This job was important to Ethan, Justin could tell, and since he was sure he wouldn’t meet the actors again, he decided to leave it at that. Though the thought of Brian believing they were together again was really bothering him. But maybe it was the best he could do. So he stepped away from Ethan and finished his sentence, though it wasn’t the way he’d planned to finish it when he’d started, “…I’m not a mute.” “Why are we standing here, anyway?” Emmett asked with a wide smile. “Why don’t we go out to Woody’s or somewhere we can actually have a little fun?” “Sure. I guess all of us could use a little drink.” Ted replied. “What do you say, Jus? Sounds like a plan, huh?” Ethan smiled at Justin, hoping to make the blond stay with them for a while. He needed Justin so that he could provoke Brian, and needed Brian to make Justin jealous. Justin seemed to be thinking for a while then muttered, “No, I think I really should be leaving now.” Before Brian turned around to leave he looked Justin in the eye once more and said as if ignoring his answer, “Meet you there then.” Not letting Justin disagree, the man turned around and left with Michael. Justin watched him leave, slowly realizing that Brian wanted him to join them at the bar, and this thought had him smiling like an idiot. ‘Here we go again. So much for my attempts to ignore him.’ He thought to himself, but his smile disappeared in no time as he recognized that probably all that the man wanted from him was a good excuse for what their stupid little play had been good for. The boy felt a knot in his stomach, but he knew he owed Brian, so he nodded slowly and followed Ethan to his changing room to gather his stuff. Brian had really done a good job with acting casual, but he had to admit that it was good to see the blond again, even under these fucked up circumstances. He’d missed the boy but he’d thought the best for both of them would be if they wouldn’t meet again. But this…this was just not right. He couldn’t believe that this fucker was Justin’s boyfriend, that he was such an important part of the boy’s life. The man thought that Justin deserved much better than that. He couldn’t believe that he had run back to the violinist and started to wonder if they had ever broken up at all. But Justin had seemed sincere when he told him he’d left his boyfriend. Was he so very weak that he couldn’t live on his own? That he would rather be in a fucked up relationship than living his own life? Whatever the answer was, Brian decided to find out. He knew he shouldn’t have given a fuck, but the thought of Justin being with this conceited asshole made him incredibly mad. Michael’s voice brought him back from his thoughts, “What the hell is going on here, Brian? Why did you act like you didn’t know him?” Brian wasn’t in the mood for explaining the situation to his friend. In fact, he had no intention of telling anyone about it so he answered shortly, “None of your business, Mikey. Just keep your mouth shut, will you?” *************************************************************************** By the time Justin and Ethan arrived at the bar, the others had already been there for a while, because Ethan had had to make some important calls first, though he didn’t tell Justin what it was that couldn’t wait, and the blond didn’t ask about it either. When they stepped inside the place they spotted the actors, some of them were sitting at a table, and some of them were talking to other people. Ethan excused himself and headed to the bathroom, leaving the blond alone in the middle of the place. Just before walking toward the table Emmett and some other actors were sitting at, Justin spotted Brian at the bar. He was ordering, and the boy thought that this was probably his only chance to talk with the man without anyone else around. He gathered all his strength and stepped up to the actor. Sensing someone else’s presence, Brian turned his head to Justin’s direction. “What’s it going to be?” He asked the blond calmly. The boy blinked at first, he was way too embarrassed to realize what Brian was referring to. Fuck. Why was this always happening to him when the actor was around? He acted like a complete idiot again. Brian waited for his answer with one eyebrow raised, then Justin got himself together at last and answered with a relieved smile, “A vodka and tonic would be great. Thanks.” Brian nodded and motioned the bartender to take the order. Then he looked at the blond again, examining him for a while without words, which was making Justin even more embarrassed, if that was possible at all. After a few more seconds of studying the boy, Brian looked away, leaned his back against the bar and said matter-of-factly, “You know, from what you told me, I always suspected that your boyfriend’s an asshole.” Justin opened his mouth to protest, but Brian huffed a laugh and went on, shaking his head and giving the boy a smile of disbelief, “But fuck, I wouldn’t have thought he was the biggest one in the Pitts.” “You don’t know him. He’s not that bad.” Justin answered somewhat shyly and defensively, feeling that this comment had graded not only Ethan, but somehow him, too. After all, he was the one who’d been living with him for quite a long time. Even if he and Ethan weren’t together anymore, Brian had no right to say something like that. Brian shrugged in response as if he didn’t really care, “If you say so.” Then he finished his first shot of Beam. Justin’s order had arrived and he took a huge sip, hoping it would help him to go on with this conversation. There were a few things that had to be clarified. “And…how are you doing?” The boy asked finally. ‘Congrats, Taylor! What an original idea!’ Justin thought to himself bitterly; he wanted to knock his own head into the wall. Brian looked at him with an amused expression, giving the boy his nicely-developed, convincing and irresistible, though slightly fake smile, “Better than ever.” “That’s great.” The boy nodded and took another sip. He’d always been good at communication; he’d never had any trouble with expressing himself in words, so why was he suffering from lingual difficulties when he had to talk to Brian? The man suddenly asked the question he’d had on his mind from the first moment they’d met earlier that day, “So…are you two back together again?” He hoped that he sounded as casual as he wanted to, but to make sure Justin wouldn’t think he was interested and to emphasize his disinterest, he acted like he was scanning the crowd, looking for potential prey for that night. The boy could see the question coming, but he really didn’t understand it. What difference would it make if they were together or not? Brian had made it quite clear for him that he’d never do relationships. He was the one who’d rejected the boy, and now he was the one who was looking to the blond for an answer? Justin’s offended pride answered with another question, pain evident in his voice, “Why do you care?” Still not looking at the boy, Brian lit a smoke and replied with a shrug, “I don’t.” Watching the man’s profile suspiciously for a while, Justin decided that it was time to answer the question. He sighed and said simply, “We’re not.” “What? Sorry, I didn’t hear it.” Brian leaned a bit closer, his eyes examining the content of his second glass intently. “I said,” Justin raised his voice a bit so that the man could hear it, while trying to ignore his intoxicating scent, “we’re not together. We broke up; but I already told you about that.” These last few words were full of blame, but Brian ignored it. “And did you tell him about that, too?” The look of confusion on Justin’s face made the man chuckle, and he added, “‘Cause he doesn’t seem to know about it.” “I moved out, I guess it must be a bit of a hint.” Justin answered, feeling the alcohol taking effect. Brian turned his head and looked at the boy’s face finally. “Really? Where did you go?” He asked and the slight caring tone in the actor’s voice surprised Justin. “I moved into my friend, Daphne’s place. You already met her not so long ago. It was here.” Brian nodded to himself, remembering the cheerful girl he met when he had made his first move on the boy. It wasn’t so long ago, but still, he felt like a lifetime had passed since then. So many things had changed, but first of all he had changed. He hated to admit it, but he had to face it. A few weeks ago there had been no way someone could get so close to him. No tricks had made him feel this way before; so insecure and defenseless. His life had been so much easier and predictable. Just the way he liked it. He’d always wanted to keep everything under control, but this blond made it very hard for him. The boy’s voice distracted him from his thoughts, “He just wanted me to come and see the opening night of his new job. As his friend. He didn’t tell me what it was; he said it would be a surprise.” Justin stopped for a minute and Brian said out loud exactly the same thing that he thought, “And a fucking big one, indeed.” Brian couldn’t help smiling and Justin smiled too. “Yeah, I still can’t believe it.” He looked up at Brian with a sheepish expression, “I didn’t know it was your theatre Brian, I swear! Otherwise I wouldn’t have come…” Justin looked away and stared at the floor intently, his fingers tapping lightly on the glass in his hand. “Why is that?” Brian asked with a soothing voice, watching the boy’s face carefully. “I…I didn’t want any trouble. He doesn’t know about…” Justin said quietly, not looking at the man. “About what?” Brian was waiting for him to finish the sentence, but he could see it was very hard for the boy. “About you…and…me…” Brian’s body tensed again. This ‘you and me’ shit made his signal alarm bells start to ring with full force. He frowned, the soothing voice disappearing in a second, “What the fuck are you talking about? It was just fucking…and you broke up anyway, so why do you care?” Brian’s words hurt the boy more than he showed it. He swallowed hard and answered, “Because I don’t want him to know that…” But he couldn’t say more. “That you cheated on him.” Brian finished the sentence and Justin nodded. “Well, don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” He added in a sarcastic way. They didn’t say more; Brian wanted to regain his control, and Justin wanted to scream like crazy. He’d thought it was their secret, not only his own. But apparently it didn’t mean much to Brian. Ethan watched the two men for a while from the back of the place and he didn’t like what he saw. Something bothered him, though he couldn’t put his finger on it. They weren’t talking too much, let alone flirting, but still, for some reason he didn’t like to see them together. He’d planned everything very nicely, and both of them were parts of his plan, but not this way. They were supposed to pay attention to him and not to each other. Well, it meant there was only one solution left; he had to leave and make Justin leave with him. The second part of his plan was just about to begin anyway, which was the ‘Make Justin Jealous’ part. “Am I interrupting something?” He stepped up to them with a suggestive smile on his face. “Of course not.” Justin protested a little too intensely. “I’m leaving. Are you coming?” Ethan looked at Justin expectantly. Justin thought about it for a second, but after Brian’s ‘it was just fucking’ speech he really didn’t see why he should have stayed. The man had already said enough. More than enough, to be exact. And if leaving with the violinist would make Brian at least a little mad, Justin would be happy to do so. “Sure. Bye Brian.” The man nodded with a smirk and finished his third shot of Beam. He decided not to stop ‘till the tenth. He wanted to drink and fuck his problems away tonight. When Justin and Ethan stepped onto the street Ethan spoke first, “So what do you think of Brian?” Paranoia overwhelmed Justin again. Did Ethan know something? “What do you mean?” He asked nervously. “Did you like him? He’s kind of hot, they say.” Ethan moved closer to Justin while they were walking down the street. “I guess so. But I don’t know him. We didn’t talk too much.” Justin really hoped that Ethan would change the subject now. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but he’s trying to make a move on me.” Justin thought he’d misheard something. He tried to look casual as he answered weakly, “Really? I didn’t notice.” “Probably because you were there and he thought we were together. He’s gorgeous, I have to admit.” Ethan was looking at the blonde’s face to find any kind of reaction. He didn’t see anything, so he spoke again, “But I said no. I told him that I was taken. That there’s only one man I really want and I’d do anything for him.” Ethan paused for a moment, “That’s you, Jus. I’d give anything to be with you again. My life is meaningless without you.” Justin didn’t know what to say. Ethan looked so sincere and desperate; he swore he could see tears forming in his eyes. God, did this man really love him so much? And did Brian really do something like that? “I’m sorry,” Ethan added while rubbing his face, “I promised not to push things, but I had to tell you this.” “That’s okay.” Justin answered quietly, not really knowing what else to say. Brian and Ethan? “Oh, I almost forgot.” Ethan stopped and looked at him, “You left some of your books at my apartment. At our apartment.” Before Justin could say anything Ethan went on, “Since you’re going to have exams in a few weeks, I guess you need them.” “I do, thanks. I’ll come for them in a few days.” Justin answered, not happy to be reminded of his exams. Brian made a move on Ethan? “Why don’t you take them now?” Ethan asked innocently. “It’s just a few blocks away.” Justin shook his head, “No, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Ethan tried to look disappointed, “Come on Jus, are you afraid of me? Justin smiled nervously, “Of course not.” “You don’t trust me then?” Ethan didn’t wait for Justin’s reply, “Just come up, I’ll give you your books and you can leave right away if you want.” Of course, Ethan had something completely different on his mind. Justin hesitated for a moment; he didn’t know what to do. An ex-partner’s apartment in the middle of the night is never a good idea, especially when you don’t want anything from them. But Justin didn’t want to offend Ethan by not trusting him, though a weak voice in the back of his mind told him to do so. He thought he’d just get his books and leave. “Okay.” Justin said finally. Ethan smiled wider than ever. A few minutes later they reached the building, taking the stairs of the dark stairway without a word. Ethan opened the door and they stepped inside the apartment. “I’ll get the books.” Ethan said and disappeared in the bedroom. Justin stood in the middle of the living room, waiting for Ethan to come back. Standing there, he realized that his mouth had become dry; probably the effect of the alcohol he’d consumed not so long ago. “Mind if I drink something Ethan? I’m really thirsty.” He called out. “Sure. You’ll find some bottles of water in the fridge.” Ethan’s voice came from the other room. Justin nodded and headed toward the kitchen. As he was about to open the refrigerator he could see a short note stuck to it. He knew he shouldn’t have read it, but he couldn’t help it. It said,
'Last night was fantastic, but isn’t it always? Be a nice boy and keep the bed warm. I’ll be back in two days, Darren'

Quote: W. Shakespeare: Othello Thanks to all of you for reading this! Reviews are highly appreciated! :)