*********************************************************
I let him go. Why the FUCK did I let him walk away after the Rage party!? Am I completely insane? Actually no, don’t you dare answer that. Okay okay I know, you’re going to ask why I didn’t try to stop him. Wanna know why? It’s because I’m too fucking proud, that’s why! Sometimes I could kick myself for it but then again, at present I think there is a lovely long line of people, first up is Mikey. Why does Mikey want to hurt me for pushing Justin away? I suppose he always saw him as a little brother, after all, his mom as good as adopted him. This leads me to where I am tonight, Woody’s on an open mic night. And what the hell is fiddle fuck doing by the stage!? I shrug, ignoring him as I polish off my beam. A trick catches my eye and I’m about to wander off when Mikey grabs my collar, yanking me back. Then the announcers voice captures my attention by announcing the arrival of ‘JT’.
I'm sittin' here all by myself just tryin' to think of something to do Tryin' to think of something, anything just to keep me from thinking of you But you know it's not working out 'cause you're all that's on my mind One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind
My eyes rested on the boy in front of me, standing in the middle of the stage, mic in hand. The spotlight made his hair golden, his skin almost see through as he sang.
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did And you didn't mean to love me back But I know you do
So much emotion was being put into his words, it broke my heart cause it was then I knew I’d lost him to Ethan. It was something I’d always anticipated, I knew it was going to happen but now it had and it was killing me.
I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself that you're not the one for me But the more I think, the less I believe it and the more I want you here with me You know the holidays are coming up I don't want to spend them alone Memories of Christmas time with you will just kill me if I'm on my own, oh
I watched ‘my’ Sunshine sing to him. Well it had to be Ian, after all he was standing in front of the stage. I snuck a glance at Michael, even he was in tears. God, was I so stupid? How could the little blonde twink steal my heart, then throw it back at me just because I never plucked up the courage to say those three little words. They seemed so unnecessary at the time but now I realise I was only prolonging the inevitable. I would tell him I loved him every day if I got the chance, but will I? Jesus when the fuck did I become such a lesbian!?
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did And you didn't mean to love me back
I think back to the first night we ever fucked. The innocence in his eyes as he pointed out we should use a condom, the pained looked as my sheathed cock pushed past the first ring of muscle till it was completely engulfed. His screams of ecstasy as he came. All but a distant memory now, I’d never have him back.
I'm sittin' here all by myself just tryin' to think of something to do Tryin' to think of something, anything just to keep me from thinking of you But you know it's not working out 'cause you're all that's on my mind One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind
I order another shot before sitting beside Mikey, the tears still pouring down his face as I awkwardly patted his shoulder. He was engrossed with my Justin. Wait a minute… MY Justin!? Jesus…
I know it's not the smartest thing to do we just can't seem to get it right But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight (one more chance tonight)
I blinked as his baby blues met mine. It was then it hit me, he wasn’t singing about Ian! He was singing about me. Mikey wasn’t surprised, though I wondered how long he’d been in on this.
I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar But with all my inspiration gone it's not gettin' me very far I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you Oh please, baby won't you take my hand we've got nothing left to prove
I headed throw the lovers dancing in front of the stage, my eyes never leaving Justin’s as I stood beside Ethan. The weasel glared at me, as if to sway me from his love. Well too bad fiddle fuck, he’s mine. He’s always been mine, since the first night.
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did And I didn't mean to meet you then we were just kids And I didn't mean to give you chills the way that I kiss And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did No, you didn't mean to love me back
With that, the blonde launched himself off the stage and into my arms, ignoring the outraged growl from his current loves lips as he met mine hungrily. His tongue met mine as we fought for dominance before he pulled back slightly, a smile gracing his lips as he whispered softly. “But you did” He watched me as I placed mine beside his ear and whispered those three words. The words that would change everything. “I love you” *************** Song: ‘A Lonely September’ by Plain White T’s