Author’s note: the song Justin’s singing is “Do I Have To Cry For You” by Nick Carter; the song Brian’s singing is “Unstoppable” by The Calling.
“You want me to do what?!” Justin screamed, surprised at what Emmett had just asked.
“You should stay in the closet,” Emmett answered simply.
“No, you’re proposing that I go back in the closet; it’s a lot different to me,” Justin replied indignantly.
“It won’t be for long.”
“One second back in the closet would be too long for me.”
“Justin,” Emmett started in a soft tone, “I won’t lie to you… this world may look like it’s all glitter and shine, but it’s not. Sometimes you have to compromise and I can assure you that this won’t be the worst thing you’ll do for the glory.”
“That’s the second time I’ve heard that in the last two days,” Justin said harshly before leaving.
**********
“You know I could take legal action against you for what you did?”
“Come on Brian, don’t you know that the early bird catches the worm?”
“I don’t give a fuck about the worm. Fuck Mikey, you woke me up at fucking nine o’clock.”
“And after discovering fuck being the key word here. You know what?”
“What?” Brian said in a bad imitation of Mikey’s voice.
“You’ve been sleeping ‘til noon every day since your concert was cancelled. It’s time you found yourself a hobby.”
“For your information I already have an hobby; fucking.”
“Nah, I’m talking about a real hobby like running, reading, writing… but I can see from the look on your face that you don’t like any of these things. Well, why don’t we think about something for you to do, but in the mean time what do you think about going shopping?”
“I think that I could make it my new hobby,” Brian said laughing.
*************************************************************************
“Justin, are you at home?” There was no reply; just a deafening silence.
“Justin?” Again there was no answer.
“Justin?”
“Go the fuck away.”
“Please Baby don’t,” Kip said once he saw him.
“Don’t what? Be myself?” Justin replied with tears in his eyes.
“No, pushing me away. Don’t you know that I’m with you?” Kip said gently as he sat on the bed with Justin.
“Well, you didn’t seem to be with me this morning. You didn’t say a damn word. I know you agreed with Emmett.”
“I won’t lie to you, but I think he’s right.”
“Whatever,” Justin said turning his back to Kip.
“I’ve been doing this job for a long time now and its been my experience that if you want to be someone in this world, you have to sacrifice yourself.”
“Yeah, but not like that. You’re asking me to sacrifice us.”
“It won’t be for too long, I promise.”
“Kip I love you and I don’t want to hide who I really am.”
“I love you too Baby… God, you’re so sweet. What did I do to deserve someone like you?”
Justin answered him with a kiss, followed by more. Soon they were groping one another. As Kip started to undress Justin, the boy quickly stopped him before things went to far.
“As much I’d like having sex with you, I can’t. I have to go to ‘Café de Paris’ for rehearsals.”
“Right, I forgot. You’re going to sing the song Emmett gave you, aren’t you?”
“Fuck no. I’m going to sing the song I’ve written for my debut… I know that sometimes I have to compromise for the glory, but two times in two days doesn’t seem like ‘sometimes’ to me.”
*******************************************
Brian and Michael had a wonderful day. They’d been to the mall, the supermarket and even to the gaming room. During that time they had spent a total of $6,500. Now they were having dinner at ‘Café de Paris’, to finish their night off with a flourish spending another $400 for their meal.
Brian’s mood had changed since Michael appeared at his door earlier that morning. One might even say he was in high spirits; for Brian that is.
During his childhood Brian never had a reason to be happy. His father was an abusive drunk, who took his anger out on his innocent son. However, his mother was worst. She stood by and let her husband beat their son and never lifted a finger to protect him. She just closed her eyes at the sight of her son all bloodied and bruised.
The only person Brian found comfort in was Michael. He was always there for his friend whenever he needed to escape from his father’s drunken rages. Therefore, in Brian’s mind it was an obvious choice that when Michael became a manager and offered to represent him he saw it as the perfect opportunity to say fuck off to his parents.
“And now ladies and gentlemen I have the pleasure of presenting to you a young singer who will one day become very successful. Let’s put our hands together and welcome, Justin Taylor.”
“Fuck, I was having such a great time!” Brian groaned when he heard the announcer.
Don’t want to close the door
Don’t want to give up on it
Don’t want to fight no more
We’ll find a way around it
Wait a moment, the boy wasn’t bad after all… it seemed he followed the suggestions Brian had given him. Maybe he’s more than a pretty face, Brian thought, but he still has much to learn.
Where’s the love we had?
We can make it last
Justin’s voice was soft and deep. Brian wondered how Justin’s voice could change so much singing a different song. The song was slow, a ballad, and it was about love.
Tell me what I gotta be
Tell me what you wanna do?
Cause I can’t live my life
The way you want me
You know we can’t go on, living like we do
Do I have to cry for you
Do I have to cry for you?
Justin was on stage putting his heart and soul into the song. It was evident, even to Brian as he sat and listened. Brian couldn’t help but remember during the early years of his career, he sang like that too. However, now he felt too tired to put the same kind of effort he heard in Justin’s voice.
So tell me what it’s for
If there’s no winner in it
Nobody’s keeping score
Let’s start from the beginning
While Justin sang, Brian noticed how beautiful he was. The previous night he had seen his sexual power but now all he saw was Justin’s real beauty. It was the beauty of a pure and innocent boy.
************************
Justin was in his dressing room when a furious Emmett knocked on his door.
“Hi Emmett.”
“It’s incredible!” the queen started. “I chose to manage you, bring you here and introduce you to all the most important people in L.A. And what do you do? You stab me in the back!”
“Emmett what are you talking about?”
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,” Emmett mimicked the boy. “I’m talking about tonight! We agreed you would sing ‘Girls of the USA’, or am I wrong?”
“Emmett, I’m sorry but the lyrics of that song had no meaning for me.”
“I don’t give a fuck about what it meant to you. Next time you decide to go against my decision you’ll have to find yourself another manager.”
***********************
Half and an hour later, Justin was leaving ‘Café de Paris’. He was still upset about the scene with Emmett and he couldn’t see the man’s point. It seemed that Emmett’s point wasn’t the only thing that Justin didn’t see. In fact, Justin was distracted, his mind was on the conversation he just had and he didn’t see the car that was racing towards him.
“JUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSTTTTIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!”
***
Dean Major was a fifty-year old man who had spent half of his life in prison for manslaughter. He had grabbed one of his enemies by the neck and snapped it in two. He wasn’t afraid of anything, but there were others who were afraid of him. It was obvious he wasn’t the perfect guy one would take home to their mother.
A month had passed since Dean was released from prison and he was at a diner with his new girlfriend, Marylou, a former prostitute. They were always fighting and tonight was no exception. Tired of the constant arguments, Dean decided to leave. He took the car and decided to let Marylou walk home. He was so angry that he didn’t realize he was driving over the speed limit; going so fast that he didn’t have time to stop the car when he saw a blond boy crossing the street.
Brian had walked out of Café de Paris and looked up in time to see a speeding car and a blond figure as he stepped off the sidewalk into the street.
“JUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSTTTTIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!” he shouted. Justin turned toward the voice and that was the last thing he remembered.
“Justin are you okay?” Everything happened so fast Justin didn’t realize what was going on. The only thing the blond knew was that he was lying down in the street and Brian Kinney was on top of him, and all he could hear was the noise of a car quickly speeding away.
“What happened?” the boy gasped, he was breathing hard and his heart felt like it was in his throat. He only knew that a minute before he was crossing an deserted street and the next he was on the ground with his idol on top of him.
“You’ve were almost run down by that car,” Brian answered and pointed to a red car in the distance.
“So, you saved my life?”
“Well, I think I did… I guess I’ve done my good deed for the year.”
“Thanks… Brian, ummm…you’re still on me… would you mind getting off?”
“Oops, sorry… it’s just that you’re comfortable.”
“Really?” Justin asked. Brian nodded, he wasn’t in any rush to get off the blond anytime soon. In fact, he started to caress Justin. “I think you
should really stand up,” Justin said firmly. “We’re lying in the street,” he chuckled.
Reluctantly, Brian stood up and decided to ask the blond if he wanted to see his loft. He didn’t know what possessed him to blurt out the question and Justin didn’t know why he found himself agreeing.
********
“I love all your songs but my favourite is Unstoppable.”
“Really?” Brian asked in an amused voice. They were sitting on Brian’s sofa and Justin was telling him how much he admired him.
“Yeah. It’s so sensual and romantic… if someone told me those things I think I would melt in his arms,” Justin said with a dreamy smile. Suddenly, Brian stood up and started to sing the song Justin loved.
Come and lay right on my bed, sit and drink some wine
I'll try not to make you cry
And if you'd get inside my head, then you'd understand
Then you'd understand me
Why I've felt so alone, why I kept myself from love
And you became my favorite drug
So let me take you right now and swallow you down,
I need you inside
Justin didn’t know what he felt as Brian started to sing the sensual and romantic song. He lay back on the sofa, enjoying the man’s melodic voice. He told himself that he was just going to relax and enjoy the beautiful lyrics and the voice. He didn’t expect Brian to lie down with him.
If we had this night together
If we had a moment to ourselves
If we had this night together, then we'd be unstoppable
Before he knew what was happening Brian was top of Justin just like they were in the street and he was singing softly to him. Justin didn’t have any doubts, Brian wanted to have that night with him.
Do you think that this is right, or is it really wrong
I know that this is what we've been wanting
And all this is burning in my soul, it fills up to my throat
It fills up till my heart is breaking
If we had this night together
If we had a moment to ourselves
If we had this night together, then we'd be unstoppable
Justin was confused; Brian was so sexy and irresistible. It was impossible to say no to his advances. Justin hadn’t given it much thought before, but Brian was obviously gay, and it seemed no one knew that. Apparently, Brian was in the closet too and keeping it a secret, he thought to himself.
Now, we can both learn
Somehow, you'll see it's all we have
Love, it keeps us together
“Wait, we have to stop,” Justin interrupted Brian as the man tried to unbutton his shirt.
“Why? You want it too, I can feel it.”
“I can’t… I have a boyfriend… if he knew I was here…“ Justin started to say but Brian interrupted him.
“Then don’t tell him… what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Brian said simply; everything was logical to him.
“It doesn’t work like that.”
“What a pity… relationships are so boring,” Brian said, emphasizing the R word harshly. It was one of the reasons why Brian detested relationships so much… he preferred fucking…it’s honest, it’s efficient, you get in and out with a minimum of bullshit and maximum pleasure.
“Are you gay?” Justin asked. He knew it was a stupid question, after all the signals had been there but he had never read anything about it in the tabloids.
“Is the Pope catholic?” Brian answered mocking the blond boy.
“So you’re in the closet.” It wasn’t a question.
“Looks like you are too.”
“How is it?” Justin asked seriously.
“What?” Brian asked not understanding Justin’s question.
“Being in the closet for what… 8 years?”
“It’s not easy but you get use to it.”
“I don’t want to get used. I want to be myself.”
“Then quit.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Do you think I’m afraid of you?”
“Maybe. After all I’m cute and I have a great voice,” Justin joked.
“Yeah, whatever.” Brian smiled as he held Justin’s gaze during the few minutes of silence.
“I have to go now,” Justin said breaking the silence.
“Oh, right.” Justin was almost outside when Brian said, “I’d like to see you again… as friends.”
“Okay, as friends … so see you.”
“Later.”