Hey guys. As promised -- chapter four. Thanks to Esther (qaffanfictionprojects) for the bunny, and Jess and Lynn for beta-ing. =) Enjoy!
Chapter Four Brian and Justin had sent Jeff upstairs to be with Gus, and had put Alex to bed. They were now laying in their bed, their arms wrapped around each other with Brian's head resting on Justin's chest for a change. "I just can't believe he went through his life thinking that I never wanted him," Brian said, shaking his head. Justin reached his hand down, running it through Brian's hair. "That's not your fault, Brian. And there's nothing you can do about that now. All you can do now is show him that you did want him, and that you still do. That you love him," Justin said. Brian nodded. "I know. But I still feel so guilty. Why didn't I try harder to see him? Maybe if I had tried harder, I would have been able to see him," Brian said. Justin sighed. "You can sit here for hours saying 'what if this' and 'what if that', but that's not going to help you. Forget the past, focus on the future, okay?" Justin leaned down, kissing the top of Brian's head. Brian sighed now. "I know you're right. But I can't help feeling this way," he shrugged. "Well, he's still here. In that room. Did you tell him about the room?" Justin asked. Brian shook his head. "No, I didn't want to freak him out or anything," Brian said. He didn't tell Gus that the room he was in wasn't exactly a guest room. It was a room that Brian had saved for Gus. He wouldn't let anyone else sleep in it, he was saving it for Gus. "Did you tell him about the checks or the college fund?" Justin asked. Brian shook his head. "No. I didn't want to completely overwhelm him. I figured all that stuff was for tomorrow," Brian said. Justin nodded. "Yeah, that was probably a good idea," he said. He chuckled slightly. "When I saw him standing there on the doorstep, I almost just grabbed him and just hugged him to death," Justin said. Brian smiled. "That definitely wouldn't have been a good idea, seeing as how he didn't recognize you," Brian laughed. "He probably would have run away." Justin laughed too. "Yeah. That's why I refrained," he smiled. Brian looked up at Justin. "I never thought I'd be this happy, Justin. This is so not me," Brian said with a smile. Justin shook his head, placing his palms on either side of Brian's face. "You deserve to be happy. Just as much as everyone else in the world," Justin assured him. "I've got you, we have a beautiful daughter, and now Gus …" Brian trailed off. Justin nodded. "I know. I'm happy, too," he said. Brian smiled. "I love you. You know that, right?" Brian said. Justin smiled. "Oh, you're getting sappy … should I worry?" Justin joked. Brian rolled his eyes, smacking his arm. "I'm serious," he laughed. "See? This is why I don't say it as much as I should. Because you tease me every time," he said. Justin laughed, rolling his eyes. "I'm sorry. Yes, I know that you love me. And I love you, too," he leaned down, placing his lips against Brian's. He smiled when he pulled away. "Now, let's get some sleep. We've got a big day ahead of us, catching up with your son," Justin said. "Our son," Brian corrected, laying his head back down and closing his eyes. Justin smiled, shaking his head and closing his eyes again. "You're becoming so sappy in your old age," Justin teased. He laughed when he felt another smack on his arm. ----- "Holy fucking shit, Gus! Your dads are hot!" Jeff exclaimed. Gus laughed, rolling his eyes. "Shut up, Jeff." "No, dude, I'm serious! Your dad, he looks like Gale Harold! I always thought you kinda looked like a young Gale, but holy shit!" Jeff kept going. Gus threw a pillow at him. "Shut up! Jesus," Gus laughed. "That's my dad and Justin you're talking about … that's kind of gross!" he laughed, laying back on the bed. Jeff laughed. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'll just admire silently," Jeff said. Gus shook his head. "So, what did your dad tell you?" Gus took a deep breath, still trying to digest all that he learned. "He told me that my mom kept him away. That she wouldn't let him see me," Gus said. "Do you believe him?" Jeff asked. Gus shrugged. "He seemed to be telling the truth. Jeff, he had this look of pain in his eyes when I accused him of making it up. I think he's telling the truth," he said. "Shit. Have you talked to your mom?" Jeff asked. Gus shook his head. "I don't know what to say to her. I mean … I can't believe she'd deny me the privilege of having a father. When he's been here, trying to get in contact with me the whole time," Gus said. Jeff shook his head. "That's crazy, man. I don't know what I'd do if I were in your situation," Jeff said, sitting down on the bed next to Gus. Gus shrugged. "I don't know what to do. I'm not calling her, though. If she wants to talk to me, she can call me," Gus said. To be honest, he was extremely angry with his mother. He remembered conversations that he had with her, asking her where his daddy was. Why he didn't have a daddy when all his friends had daddies. And his mom always told him that it was because his daddy didn't want to be a daddy, and didn't want to have a son. Gus shook his head, getting up and turning off the light. "Are you going to sleep?" Jeff asked. Gus shrugged, laying in the bed. "I'm gonna try," he said. Jeff got into the bed next to him. They've slept in the same bed so many times, it didn't feel weird at all. Jeff rolled over and whispered in Gus' ear. "Now that you know your dad's gay, are you sure you're not gay?" Jeff asked. Gus laughed, reaching over and punching Jeff's shoulder. Jeff laughed. "Shut up, Jeff, and go to sleep," Gus said, shaking his head. He pulled the covers up and closed his eyes. ----- Justin woke up early the next morning when Alex ran into the room and jumped on the bed. "Mornin' Daddy!" she yelled. Brian groaned and buried his head under his pillow. Alex went over and sat on his back, pulling the pillow up and leaning to whisper in his ear. "Mornin' Papa," she said. Brian smiled and Justin laughed, stretching. "Morning, baby," Justin said. She moved to sit on Justin's stomach. "Daddy, can we make pannycakes this morning?" Alex asked, her eyes lighting up. Justin smiled, turning to look at Brian, who had managed to get the pillow over his head again. He rolled his eyes. "Of course we can. Let's go downstairs and make pannycakes … we'll let Papa sleep a little longer, okay?" he said, moving her off his stomach so he could stand up. He stretched, then reached out and picked her up, carrying her out of the room. He smiled when he saw Brian move so his head was back on top of his pillow. Down in the kitchen, he placed Alex on one of the stools. He grabbed some butter out of the fridge and melted it, keeping it warm as he mixed eggs and milk together. He then mixed some flour, salt, sugar, and baking powder together, and added the mixture of the eggs and milk to it, then poured the butter on top. He brought the bowl over to Alex, and stood behind her, helping her stir the batter together. "Ew, it looks funny," she said, laughing. Justin smiled. "Well what did you expect it to look like, goofball? Did you expect it to look like a big pannycake?" he asked, getting the frying pan out and putting it on the stove, spraying it with butter spray, so that the pancakes wouldn't stick. "Can I help you flip them, Daddy?" she asked. Justin tilted his head to the side. "Okay. Let's pull your stool over to the stove. Don't touch the stove, baby, it's hot," he said. She nodded, just kneeling on the stool. Justin poured a little bit of the batter into the pan, waiting until it bubbled on the sides. "When's the time, Daddy?" she asked. "Okay, now here, hold the end of this spatula," he said. He placed his hand over hers on the spatula and helped her flip the pancake. She giggled, clapping her hands. "Yay! Pannycakes!" she cheered. Justin smiled, leaning down and kissing her forehead. "Good job, Alex," he said. She smiled up at him, and he was reminded of why Brian and Debbie called him Sunshine. He never understood that until he saw her smile. He poured a few more pancakes onto the pan. "Daddy, can you make me a Mickey Mouse one?" she asked. He smiled, nodding. "Of course I can. Why don't you run upstairs and tell Papa that it's time to eat. And, can you go in the other room, the one next to Daddy and Papa's, and tell the boys in there that the breakfast is ready?" he asked, looking at her. She nodded. "Can I jump on Papa's bed?" she asked. He laughed, nodding. "Sure," he said. She smiled and ran out of the room and up the stairs. "She has more energy than anyone I know," he shook his head, working on her Mickey Mouse pancake. ----- Alex ran up the stairs and into her Papa's bedroom. She smiled when she saw him laying on his stomach. She crept up to the bed, taking some of her hair into her hand and using it to tickle his ear like Daddy showed her to. She watched him twitch and tried not to giggle. She did it again, and he twitched some more. She put her hands over her mouth, giggling softly. Brian was awake, trying not to smile and show that he was awake. He purposely twitched when she tickled him with her hair. Suddenly, he lunged at her, grabbing her and tickling her. She laughed loudly, trying to push his hands away. "Papa! Papa, that tickles!" she laughed, rolling on the bed. Brian grabbed her wrists and held them over her head. "Oh, that tickles, does it? How about this?" he asked, holding both her wrists with one hand and using his other to tickle her armpit. She laughed, rolling to one side, trying to get her arm down. "Yes! Yes, that tickles!" she laughed. Brian smiled, stopping. He lifted her shirt up and gave her a zerbit, where he blew on her stomach. She laughed again. "Papa, stop! I gotta go get the boys!" she laughed. Brian stopped and let go of her wrists. She scrambled to her feet and gave him a hug. "Daddy made pannycakes," she said. Brian smiled. "Oh, so I better go down there and get some, huh?" he asked. She nodded. "Yep, go get some," she said, jumping off the bed and running out of the room. Brian laughed, shaking his head. He headed downstairs and into the kitchen. He smiled when he saw Justin, his back to him, working at the stove. He came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Justin's waist, kissing the side of his neck. "Morning," Brian said, resting his chin on Justin's shoulder. Justin turned to look at him and smiled. "Morning. The coffee's brewing," Justin informed him. Brian made an appreciative grunting noise, going over to the coffeepot and pouring a cup. "So, you sent Alex to come wake me up?" Brian said, raising a brow as he sipped his coffee. Justin nodded. "Yeah. How'd she do it this time?" Justin asked, chuckling as he remembered how she woke him up last time by just jumping on his stomach. Brian glared at him, then smiled. "She tickled my ear with her hair," he said, sipping his coffee. "I was already awake, I tickle-attacked her," Brian said. Justin smiled. "I know, I heard her laughing," Justin said. Brian glanced up at the ceiling. "I hope she's being nice to the boys," he said. ----- Alex crept into the room that the boys were sleeping in. She climbed onto the bed and walked in-between them, then started jumping on the bed. "Up-time! Up-time!" she yelled, jumping on the bed. Gus woke up with a start, sitting up. "What the fuck…" he cursed, surprised by the jumping blonde girl in the bed. She stopped jumping and looked at him, pointing. "You said a bad word," she said, then started jumping again. Gus heard laugher next to him and turned to see Jeff laying there, laughing. "Yeah, Gus, bad words aren't nice," Jeff said. Gus reached over and smacked him, smiling. Alex stopped jumping and sat down on the bed. "Daddy made pannycakes," she said. "Awesome, I'm starved," Jeff said, getting out of the bed and pulling a t-shirt on over his pajama pants. He headed out of the room. "See you down there," he said, running down the stairs. "Aren't you gonna come eat the pannycakes?" Alex asked Gus. Gus nodded. "Does Daddy make good pannycakes?" he asked, getting out of the bed and putting a t-shirt on as well. Alex nodded. "The best! Even Papa eats them," she said. Gus nodded. He sat down next to the girl. "Hey, Alex, I have a question for you. Do you want to be my friend? We can play with your toys together, and we can hang out," he said. Alex smiled, nodding. "Yeah! I love making new friends!" she said, jumping up and hugging him. He laughed, picking her up. "Okay, friend. Now, let's go downstairs and eat some of your Daddy's pannycakes before everyone else finishes them without us," Gus said. Alex smiled, and Gus carried her downstairs into the kitchen. "Daddy! Papa! This is my new friend, Gus!" she said. Brian and Justin smiled. Jeff, his mouth full of pancakes, smiled, too. Gus put her down on a chair, heading over to the stove where Brian and Justin were. "New friend, eh?" Brian asked. Gus shrugged, picking up a plate. "I didn't think she was ready for me to say 'Hi Alex, I'm Gus, I'm your big brother'," Gus said. He put a few pancakes on his plate. "I want to give her a chance to get to know me first. But, I do want to be her big brother eventually," he said, smiling. Brian and Justin smiled at him. Gus moved over to the table and sat down in-between Alex and Jeff, and dug into his pancakes. "That's one smart boy we have there," Brian said, kissing Justin's temple. Justin nodded. End Chapter Four 9-23-05