~*~ Justin groaned, rolled over and looked at the clock. The numbers read 10:30, but then he remembered it was Saturday, which meant he didn’t have to go to work. Thank God for weekends. Smelling rank, still stinking of Scott’s cologne from last night, he stumbled into the shower, turning it up as hot as he could take it. Standing in one place, letting the stream run over his body, he tried hard not to think about Brian, but couldn’t help it when his mind drifted to what’d happened. He replayed the scene in his head and was pissed all over again. Half of him was saying to forget it, because it was typical Brian reaction and he should have known to expect something like that from him. But the other half, the part Justin was listening to, felt like throwing Brian out on his holier-than-thou ass. ~*~ Dressed in Saturday’s finest lounging clothes, which consisted of comfortable jeans and t-shirt, he went to the kitchen, pulled down the single box of cereal and a bowl. His body tensed when he heard the creak of Brian’s bedroom door and then footsteps down the hallway. Ignoring it, he went on about his business as he added milk, too much sugar and sliced bananas to his Cheerios. “Will saying I’m sorry help at all?” And here was Brian with the multiple personality disorder. “You don’t believe in sorry. And I’d stay the fuck away right now if I were you.” He didn’t turn around to face him, instead, took a towel from the counter and began wiping spilled sugar into the sink. “I would, but you’re in the kitchen and I’m hungry.” When Justin didn’t answer and it was clear he was going to be ignored, Brian tried again. “I was a fucking bastard, okay?” Justin shook his head. “How about fucking hypocritical prick.” Brian lowered his head. “I guess I deserve that.” “You guess?!” He spun around, staring Brian down with angry eyes. “Do you realize how many tricks you fuck in a week?! In a month?! And you’re gonna call me names?! You really have a lot of fucking nerve.” “I was pissed. I might not have done it the right way, but I meant what I said.” “So because I brought home one person… one single guy, I’m a whore. And you, being the friend you are, thought you’d fuck with me before making me feel like a complete idiot.” “I wasn’t trying to do that and it wasn’t because you fucked that asshole.” Justin leaned back on the counter and crossed his arms, stiffening his stance just a bit. “Then what the hell was it all about, Brian, because I really don’t know what’s going on in that fucked up brain of yours!” “I was just… looking out for you. When you showed up looking like that… acting that way…” he trailed off, “You don’t have to do that to get someone, Justin.” “Oh, yeah, because there’s so many guys lined up, knocking down my door.” Justin rolled his eyes and sighed, grabbed his breakfast and moved over to sit down at the small, kitchen table. “I’m not you, Brian. I’m not hot, I’m not exciting. You… you ooze sex! Everything about you! You can have anyone! But for you to fuck every guy you meet and then give me lectures on morality?” Brian’s eyes found an interesting spot on the floor and he stayed quiet for a minute. Finally, he looked up solemnly. “It’s because you’re better than that. You think any of the people I fuck are ever gonna care about me?” Justin looked down and swallowed. “I’m sure Michael cares.” Brian laughed at that. “What Michael cares about is himself. Don’t ever read anything into what we do.” Justin had to do a double take, watching Brian’s distraught expression before he finally asked, “So why do you do it? If it’s so bad, why don’t you stop?” Brian shrugged. “Didn’t say it was bad, but it’s just fucking. No more, no less. It’s just an arrangement that works and no one gets hurt. But you…you deserve more than that.” Justin simmered, less angry but still hurt. “That’s for me to decide… not you. What I think I deserve is to have a best friend who doesn’t play games with me. You can do that to everyone else, and I really don’t give a fuck. But just, don’t do it to me, okay?” “I wasn’t trying to play games. I was trying to make a point… to protect you from getting into something you’d probably regret later.” “I don’t need your protection, Brian. I can take care of myself. I did have a life before you, you know.” “I’m not saying you can’t,” Brian shrugged and turned around, reaching for a bowl from the cabinet. “It just surprised me.” He turned back around to face the table again. “Not used to seeing you like that… getting that kind of attention.” Justin looked up, his face contorted with a worried expression. “Is it so hard to believe?” Brian finished making his cereal and then sat down across from Justin. “What’s that?” “That people would want me that way.” Brian glanced up, surprised. “What? No, of course not.” “Well the way you made it sound…” “Wasn’t what I meant, Justin, and you know it. Hell, the way you were looking last night, I’d have fucked you.” Justin rolled his eyes, playing off the hurt. “Gee, thanks.” Brian smiled and began eating. A minute went by in silence, but Justin was still watching him. Quietly, his mouth opened before he could stop it. “Why haven’t you?” Brian dropped his spoon into his bowl and glanced curiously at Justin. “I mean, you’ve fucked everyone else.” Brian shook his head and answered casually, “Not that you’re not completely tempting, Sunshine, but I think there’s some unwritten rule about fucking your roommate.” Justin shrugged and smiled. “Yeah, I guess that wouldn’t be such a good thing,” he agreed. “All kind of things to think about. Who takes who home? My bed, your bed… too much confusion.” Brian grinned as he listened to Justin’s babbling. “Never fuck a friend. Changes everything.” Justin’s eyes fell back on the table. “It’s a good thing that’s never happened then.” “Fucking right,” Brian answered quickly as he stood up to put his bowl into the sink. Just as fast as it had started, the conversation ended, leaving Justin with mixed feelings and more confused than ever. Brian didn’t think of him that way and he’d made it clear he never would.