~*~

Well that was unexpected. Randy would never have thought Simon would have the balls to call Gale. Sure, he talked big, but through the years, even feeling threatened by their friendship, Simon had never confronted Gale about anything. He’d accused Randy of fucking around twice. The first time was shortly after they’d begun seeing each other, when the relationship was still too new to know exactly where they stood and Randy’s relationship with Gale felt a little too close for comfort. The second time came later when Randy was out late, had fallen asleep on Gale’s couch and had missed his nightly call to Simon. 

Simon had been livid, more confrontational than usual and insisted on speaking to Gale immediately about what exactly they had spent the night doing. In the end, it all blew over and Simon and Gale never did have that conversation. In fact, Simon went out of his way to avoid Gale at all cost, making things even weirder on the few occasions they were forced to occupy the same space.

“How’d he get my fucking number?”

Just what kind of message had he left? Randy could only imagine. “I guess he got it off my phone.”

Gale stood, cell phone in hand and shook his head in amazement. “Why would he have…” It took him a second, but when he finally got it… Fuck. “He knows?”

Randy barely nodded, but didn’t deny it. “What did he say?”

“He had a few choice words.”

“Shit.”

“Oh, and when I’m not too busy with my dick up your ass I’m supposed to tell you to call him. Something about shipping your clothes?” Gale shook his head again. “This message makes a lot more sense now.”

“God, he didn’t waste any time.”

Gale sat down, easing his way up the bed beside Randy, grabbing a cigarette from the nightstand on the way. “Maybe you should tell me what’s going on?” He lit it and inhaled deeply, until Randy reached over and stole it, bringing it to his lips before passing it back. 

“I don’t know why I didn’t just tell you earlier. Or even a couple of days ago.”

“Neither do I, so tell me now.”

“Which part? The one where he knows we’ve been fucking? Or the part where I moved out?”

Gale didn’t try to hide his surprise. “Moved out?”

“Well, I’m in the process, anyway. I’m subletting a place until I decide what I’m gonna do. I move in on Monday.”

“He’s keeping the apartment?”

Randy shrugged. “And the cats... I think. Things are just… not too friendly right now. He’s kind of pissed.”

“Fuck.” Things went quiet until Gale finally said, “I wish you would’ve called me. I could have… I don’t know, done something.”

“Like what? What could you have done? It’s not something you can fix.”

“Well, I would have told you to stay here, for one. It’s stupid for you to pay for a place when this one’s empty half the time anyway.”

Randy shook his head. “It’s still your place, Gale.”

“I told you before, it’s just as much yours as it is…”

“Mine,” Randy interrupted. “I know what you said, but I’m not gonna move in here and pretend to play house with you.” He hesitated and started to get up, grabbing his jeans. “Especially now.” He slid into them and pulled his t-shirt over his head.

“Why not now?” Gale crossed his arms, lying back against the headboard. “And I didn’t think we were pretending.” 

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t. You know how I feel about you. There’s no pretending about that.”

“Gale.” Randy sat down, sliding up beside him. “I can’t just leave Simon and move in here. Besides… how would that work? I’m not gonna just sit here, waiting for you to come home and fuck me on the weekends. Sorry. Not my thing.”

“We’ve been doing it for months.”

Randy shook his head. “That was different.”

“Why? Because I’m not your secret anymore? It wouldn’t be fun now that you don’t have to worry about being caught?” he asked, bitterly. “Huh… I guess I was right.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Right about what?”

“You never would have left Simon if he hadn’t found out, which, by the way, I still want to know how that happened. But to the point… I never actually had a chance, did I?”

“It wasn’t a competition.”

“Of course not… not to you. Christ, Randy… Did you ever even consider it? When Simon asked you to marry him? Did you even consider not doing it because you love me or was all this just fucking to you?”

Randy stared incredulously. “Of course I thought about it because of you! What kind of question is that?!”

Gale closed his eyes, running his fingers through his hair and then looked back at Randy. “One that needs an answer. What we’ve been doing… what does it mean to you?”

Randy’s expression changed as he contemplated his answer. The fact that he even had to think about it made Gale’s stomach flutter. “Am I just a distraction? For the times when Simon isn’t giving you what you need?”

“What?! No!”

Gale nodded and his voice softened. “Well then, tell me. It shouldn’t be that hard.”

Randy bit his lip and cleared his throat. “It shouldn’t be, but it is.”

“Why?”

“Because, Gale… you’re not exactly open to a relationship like this. I would love to be able to love you that way, to be able to live here with you and try to start something more than what we’ve had, but I just don’t see it happening.”

Gale frowned, about to answer when Randy moved closer, sliding their hands together. “I read all the articles. All the speculation that began after those pictures came out last year. I thought you were finally gonna tell everyone to fuck off and live the way you want to, but you didn’t. It was all downplayed until it disappeared.”

“I didn’t deny it.”

Randy squeezed his hand. “But you didn’t confirm it, either. Look, I know you love me. I can’t begin to explain how I feel about you. Even with Simon in the picture, you are the most incredible man I’ve ever met. I love you, more than you’ll ever possibly know. But I’ve never been blind to the reality of our relationship. I don’t see it going where I’d want it to go. I don’t see you walking down the street, holding my hand. Kissing me where anyone could see us. And unless you can give me that…”

Gale’s eyes shifted down to the blanket and there was an awkward silence in the unspoken answer. Randy reached out, pulling Gale’s chin up, moving closer to latch onto his lips.

He pulled away slowly and said, “I have enough to deal with right now. Simon isn’t going to make things easy, and I guess I don’t really blame him. He knows how I feel about you, how I’ve always felt, and that’s a hard thing for him to swallow. So jumping into a relationship with you where I’d have to hide… it would be too much.”

“You know I would if I could…”

“I know. Your career is important, and I understand that. All the people telling you not to be who you are… But I can’t hide who I am and anyone I’m with is going to have to be able to accept that.”

“So…”

“So…” Randy answered. “I guess…” he shrugged, “I guess that’s it.”

Gale focused, staring into Randy’s eyes. They held the gaze for an eternity before their lips met again, pulling each other close, holding on tightly until Randy decided it was time for him to go.