Trey’s POV I sighed and stretched as I got up from the bed. I had spent all night talking to Matt, not an unusual occurrence in my life, but it was dawn now and I thought I would watch the sunrise over the ocean. I had come to the beach for a short vacation, only a couple days away from work and life but sometimes a couple days can mean a lot. My job isn’t particularly stressful, neither was my life, as a whole. But being at the beach, in this beautiful oceanfront room, was making me feel relaxed and whole in a way I had not felt in a while. I padded barefoot over the carpet and onto the cool tile of the kitchenette and then back onto carpet as I entered the small sitting room. I hadn’t been cheap when I had chosen my room for this retreat. There was a reason for that. I had barely left the hotel room since I had arrived two days earlier. It wasn’t often that I had Matt all to myself. Our time was usually extremely limited and to be able to indulge myself with him as much as I wanted was sheer bliss. I stared out through the sliding glass doors that led to the balcony and felt my breath catch. It was not the beauty of the sunrise that made my mouth go dry but the sight of him there leaning on the railing watching the glorious sight. He was clad in a pair of washed out denim jeans that hung loose on him, not as loose as I wore mine, but they still hinted instead of revealing. He was barefoot and wore no shirt. His dark hair curled against the nape of his neck and over the tops of his ears. His skin wasn’t very dark but looked dark when my own porcelain flesh lay against it. He wasn’t tall, only about 5’8” but he was well proportioned and his shoulders were broad enough to make his trim waist appear very narrow. My blood heated and my body stirred as I stared at him through the glass. He seemed so peaceful and I was almost reluctant to disturb him but I was drawn forward, completely unable to resist the allure of his sensuality. I used one hand to brush the hair out of my eyes though it fell forward again almost as soon as I had completed the motion. I shrugged and slid the door open. It moved in almost perfect silence in its well-maintained track. It didn’t matter if I had to peer at him through my hair. He had often told me that he thought looking at me through the golden silk of it to be extremely erotic. He loved my hair and I wore it longish and a little shaggy just for him. It fell over my ears and over my collar but so far I had avoided letting it get as long as my shoulders. He called me his angel but I was no angel. I was just a guy. I stood 6’2” and weighed in at 155 not exactly body builder standards. I was saved from being completely scrawny only by the physical nature of the work I did for a living. My body was molded from hard work, not from working out. My shoulders were broad and my waist very narrow. He said I was perfect but as I looked at him, where he stood with his forearms resting on the railing as he stared out at the outgoing tide, I knew that he was wrong. I was neither perfect nor an angel for both of those things were embodied by the one standing so quietly in the early morning light. I left the door open and moved to stand behind him. At the first touch of my hand on his back, he sighed quietly. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist as I pulled him back against me. He came willingly; Matt would never deny me anything. I held him tightly, my face buried in his dark hair breathing his scent. My heart pounded against his back. I could feel my body flush with heat. He never failed to have this effect on me. I nuzzled his ear and tasted his skin with the flat of my tongue against the tender flesh of his neck. His pulse beat steadily against it, it increased in direct reaction to the feel of my cock growing hard against his ass. His hands touched the back of mine and he intertwined our fingers. He relaxed back against me, allowing me to support some of his weight. His jeans were rough against the sensitive skin of my groin but I rolled my hips grinding my dick against him; delighting in the friction the movement caused. He turned his head so that his cheek rubbed against mine. He nuzzled there hinting for a kiss but I pretended ignorance of what he was trying to get out of me. My fingers teased the soft skin of his belly just under his belly button. I knew that my fingers were rough against the smooth silk of his body but I also knew how much he liked it. He arched his back a little pressing into my touch. “Oh, yes…” he purred and his breath was a hot caress against my face. The knot of lust in my gut tightened another notch. His action pulled his butt away from me and I growled low in my throat, pulling him back against me. He chuckled and this time rubbed his tight ass back against my quickly hardening cock. I moved my hand lower and slipped the button on his jeans open. He froze in anticipation as I slid the zipper slowly down. I hesitated as it descended over the prominent bulge now distending the front of his jeans. It is impossible for me to explain how I loved this moment, his eager body so hot in my arms and the promise of his cock just moments away. I turned my head and finally allowed my lips to touch his, the merest brush, the whisper of a promise. He made a small sound in this throat and lifted his hand to cup the back of my head, his fingers tangled through my hair as he tried to pull me harder into the kiss. I resisted, keeping the touch of mine against his as light as the touch on his zipper. I ran my tongue across his bottom lip as I slipped the zipper the rest of the way down. He tried to turn in my arms but I resisted that as well, not yet. I breathed him; I savored the feel and scent of him in my arms. There was nothing in the world to compare to this. My god, I love him. His head dropped back to my shoulder as he stopped trying to kiss me for the moment. I knew his focus was on my hands. My fingers were running along the top edge of his jeans barely brushing his skin and dipping into the now loosened waistband teasingly. He as not the only one I was teasing. I knew his cock was in there, hard and dripping, anticipating my touch. I knew how it would feel in my hand. I knew intimately the shape and weight of it; the number of times I had held him in my hand, in my mouth or had taken him into my body were uncountable. I loved everything we do together, and while nothing in this world is more precious to me than the time he and I spend talking and sharing ideas, the honest truth is that I worship his body. The things he does to me with it enslave me. I wanted, no, I needed to touch him as much as he needed it from me. He reached up, wrapped an arm around the back of my neck, and leaned his full weight against me. I nipped his shoulder, he often tried to unbalance me but rarely succeeded, he was just not big enough to knock me around. “I’m not small.” He grumbled. I laughed against his shoulder. “No, just right,” I assured him without hesitation and so he was. He fit my embrace as if he had been designed for it. He so often read my mind that I had accused him of being a sorcerer but he only laughed and told me I was just easy. I hadn’t argued. I was easy, for him. No one else had taken the time to know me as he had, no one else had ever invested themselves in me the way he had from the moment we had met. I loved him for it. I would do anything, be anything for him. He knew that too, there were few secrets between us. How could there be after all the hours we had spent baring our souls to one another? My hand stroked just over his pubic hair, fingers taunting him. His fingers tightened in my hair. “Trey,” his voice was breathless but also held a hint of warning. He was done playing. The arm that still held him around the waist tightened pulling him even closer and I looked out over the balcony as I slid my hand into the front of his pants. The beauty of the dawn filled my gaze. The sun, just coming up over the ocean turning the sky and the water a brilliant shade of red-orange the splendor of the morning, was breathtaking; and then the weight of his engorged cock filled my hand and I forgot everything but him. I pulled his sex free of the confinement of his jeans; my hand slid the length of it slowly. His breath hissed and he pumped his hips forward. His cock slid in my grasp again. I stepped back and he turned in my embrace to face me. The hand that had been lying on his belly was now on the small of his back and I pulled him close again. The other hand remained firmly wrapped around his dick. He lifted his face to me and our eyes met. His were smoky gray. They could be as hard as steel when he was upset but now they were soft as velvet and dark with his lust. His hand cupped my face and his thumb traced my cheekbone. For the moment my hand was motionless on his cock and we simply looked at each other. His face was so familiar to me that I could have identified him by touch out of a hundred other men and yet looking at him still gave me such indefinable pleasure that it was hard to comprehend. It was something far beyond the insatiable lust that burned continually between us. It was something that seemed to border on the mystical at times. His hand slid behind my neck and he pulled me down to his mouth. His tongue traced my lips and I sighed quietly. My heart was pounding but I had no wish to rush. We were always constrained, bound by his hours and mine and all the responsibilities of our lives. This was the first time we had purposefully made arrangements to spend time alone together. I wanted every second filled with him. I parted my lips and my tongue met his. They slid and curled together in the wet heat of my mouth. I was taller, bigger than he was but it was often like this between us, with him in control. His fingers tightened on my neck and his tongue delved deeper into my mouth. My hand squeezed reflexively on his cock and we both groaned. My hand moved up and down the length of his dick. He shuddered under my touch and panted into our kiss. His mouth slanted over mine but he didn’t pull me any closer, he wanted my hand free to move. My own cock was at full attention and weeping profusely but there was plenty of time to worry about that once I had taken care of the issue at hand. I backed him up against the balcony and let go of his sex to push his pants over his hips. “Wait,” he gasped and I waited. He dug into a pocket and pulled out a packet of lube and a condom. He laid them on the railing a safe distance from us. He pushed his jeans down and stepped out of them. I stared at his naked body for a full minute before I moved close again. He was beautiful and I was on fire for him. His arms went around me; his hands hot on my naked skin as he smoothed them over my back, his fingers danced and teased a path along my spine. I gasped and suddenly my hands were holding his face. I pressed him back against the railing, my eyes burning into his. The stubble of his beard was rough under my fingers and my thumbs teased the corners of his mouth as I leaned in to kiss him. His eyes slid closed and his lips parted as he surrendered to me with a ragged moan. Tender, in spite of the heat raging between us I kissed him so tenderly. He was my heart and how I ached for him. My lips moved over his, teasingly caressing. I pulled his bottom lip into my mouth and suckled it, nipped it and then my mouth slanted over his, my tongue delved deep into his mouth as I devoured him. He cried out into the kiss, his fingers dug deep into my shoulder blades and his hips rocked against me. My mouth began to map a path down his body. Beginning with his lips I followed his jaw to his ear where I nipped the lobe before I licked the curve of it. He laughed and pushed at me, ticklish ears, god who had ever heard of such a thing? He was so fucking cute. I kissed him again hard and then my mouth was on his neck. I used my teeth to follow the tendon there to his shoulder and licked my way along his collarbone to the hollow of his throat. I lapped the tender skin there and his head fell back with a gasping cry. Not ticklish there, I thought smugly before I licked him again. I sucked at the sensitive place gently, leaving a small purple mark before beginning my trek down his chest as I sank to my knees in front of him. His hands were in my hair now and there was no pretense between us that this was anything but what it was. I sucked and bit his nipples, first one and then the other wringing soft cries from him. Every whimper ran like a physical caress along my spine. I nuzzled the light sprinkling of hair on his chest and counted his ribs with my tongue. His body was perfect and unmarred. Mine was the decorated one; my nipples pierced with small bars of platinum with tiny diamonds on each end, a jewel glittered at my navel, a startlingly blue diamond, and probably the biggest extravagance in my life. It was the exact color of my eyes; the high quality stone was a full half karat but the ridiculous price tag had been totally justified the first time Matt had seen it. I doubted that I would ever get fucked like that again. I grinned against his stomach thinking of it. I had a platinum hoop and a sapphire stud in my left ear and an interesting tribal tattoo on the small of my back. Someone had told me that it was silly to get a tattoo because I would get tired of looking at it. It made me laugh. I would have to be a contortionist to see it at all. Matt liked it; tracing the random pattern with his tongue was a favorite pastime of his and was one that drove me absolutely out of my mind. I licked the flat planes of his stomach, his abs were not well defined he was no gym rat; I doubted he ever saw the inside of a gym with his schedule. I loved his body exactly how it was. I licked and kissed the soft skin of his stomach working my way to his navel methodically. By the time my tongue dipped into his navel his hands were nearly fisted in my hair. He trembled and his back arched as I played. “Trey, Please, god…please…” he gasped and I abandoned visions of nibbling my way down the sensitive insides of his thighs. I nosed his pubes and curled my tongue around the base of his shaft only my hands cupping his bottom kept him up when his legs threatened to give. “Suck me.” He gasped; his hands using my hair to guide me where he wanted me the most, the slick head of his needy sex nudged my lips. I licked it, my tongue teased the weeping slit and he whimpered softly. “Now,” He breathed and I swallowed him. His cry filled the air. His hips bucked and my throat worked around him, my nose buried in the soft crinkle of his pubes. His vocabulary had been reduced to my name and “fuck.” Occasionally he would manage a sentence as I slid his cock in and out of the hot wet recess of my mouth “Trey…ahhhhh…Fuck!” I held his hips hard to keep him from thrusting forward too hard and choking me. Swallowing him completely was a newly won accomplishment for me and could be undone if a careless move set off my gag reflex. If that happened Matt would make a crack about me having a bone in my throat, I would get to laughing, and that would pretty much be the end of that. Just cause he was mister “what’s a gag reflex?” didn’t mean we all had it that way. I hummed softly and pulled back, I wrung another strangled cry from him as his knees nearly buckled. His cock swelled in my mouth and I could feel the tension coil in him as I drove him ever closer to the edge. And then with a final skilled swirl of my tongue as I took him deep into my throat I pushed him over. He cried out my name as his hips bucked hard in my hands he drove his cock deeper down my throat despite my efforts to restrain him and I choked. He was coming and so I tried to ignore the reflex, though it watered my eyes, and I concentrated on suckling him through to the end. His hot cum filled my mouth and I drank it down as well as I could though my throat was not cooperating at all this time. He pulled away and I rested on my knees in front of him coughing, cum on my face, tears in my eyes mostly from choking but perhaps a few from feeling stupid that I couldn’t give a blow job right. Matt pulled me to my feet and sighed when I wouldn’t meet his eyes. I was so embarrassed. Instead of insisting, he licked the cum off the cheek closest to him. It was nearly downy soft. I had little facial hair, what did come in took days and was always sparse and soft. “I love how I taste on you.” He whispered as he turned my face and licked the other cheek clean. He sucked at my chin and licked my lips, “you are so fucking incredible.” His tongue sought mine then retreated as he spoke to me. I snorted. “Yeah so fucking incredible I can’t even get a blow job right,” I knew I sounded whiny but I couldn’t help it. I wanted everything about this time together to be perfect. He tugged my hair and made an exasperated noise. “So you choked a little at the end. Christ you made me cum for like five minutes. Who the hell could swallow five minutes worth of cum?” His exaggeration made me laugh. It hadn’t been five minutes but it had been a lot. And I had done that to him, made him scream my name and shoot like a gallon of cum. I snuggled closer feeling reassured. I was actually a couple years older than he was but I hadn’t been out when we first met, not even to myself. Now I at least knew I was gay even if no one else did. He was teaching me what that meant. I hadn’t known how to have sex with a man, I mean I was a man but sucking cock and fucking guys was way different than anything I had heard about doing with women. Ok, fine, I confess. I had been a virgin when I met him. I had never been interested in girls and I never had enough nerve to consider what that meant. I had been raised a good Southern Baptist and so my decision had been to just ignore the whole damn mess; at least that had been my decision before I met Matt. Now…Now I couldn’t be gay enough, I couldn’t learn enough gay stuff and I damn sure couldn’t get enough gay sex. Matt’s hands were between us, stroking my cock, caressing my balls. I groaned and thrust into his hand. I wanted to come in the worst way and groaned with heartfelt disappointment when he took his hands away. “Oh no.” he chided me gently, “I want you inside me” and he reached for the lube and the condom. While I tried to catch the breath his words had robbed from me. “Fuck.” He muttered and I looked up to meet his eyes, he pressed a package into my hand and I glanced down. The lube, but where was…he nodded towards the balcony and I leaned forward to peer over the edge, catching him between the railing and my body. He grunted but I looked down to see the bright orange package merrily floating in the pool. I pressed a kiss to his mouth. “I’ll get another one.” I told him and turned to go back inside. His hand caught me by the arm. I turned back to face him my expression questioning. “There aren’t any more.” He reminded me. Fuck, I had forgotten he commented last night when he picked that one up to stick in his pocket that the box was empty. We had planned to stop for more when we went out this morning. I shrugged; it was disappointing that I wasn’t going to be able to fuck him but not the end of the world. He had hands and a very talented mouth but even as I thought through the situation he had turned and was gripping the rail with his hands. He was bent slightly forward, his feet spread for balance, perfect position for me to walk up behind him and…my breath caught for real this time. “Matt?” I could barely think past how he looked standing like that. His back was beautiful, and I watched the muscles in his butt and thighs work as he adjusted his stance. I moved up behind him, though I hardly dared to believe that he was really offering what he seemed to be. I touched the curve of his ass and my hand trembled. His breath hissed and he pushed back towards me, the head of my weeping cock brushed one firm buttock and we both gasped. He looked at me over his shoulder, his eyes were smoky dark and nearly unreadable. “Fuck me Trey.” he told me his voice a breathy whisper. I leaned over and ran my tongue along his spine, ending at the cleft of his ass. He seemed frozen under my touch. “Like this?” my voice had the same otherworldly quality that his did, “bare?” my cock ached demanding attention but I kept my hands off it. I was trying to focus on what he was saying, what he wanted. I was vaguely aware that this was the worst time possible for us to be making a decision about my fucking him without a condom. I also couldn’t make myself care. “Yes.” His answer came without hesitation and I knew he at least had already thought this out. I lifted my head for a moment to stare at the rail of the balcony, perhaps all the way through to the lost condom. I leaned forward again, this time without saying anything. It all came down to a matter of trust I supposed. I licked his skin while I tried to make up my own mind. He was in no danger from me. I had never even touched anyone but him. He insisted we get tested every six months and we had both been clean just couple months ago. “Trey!” he gasped his entire body shuddered. I looked up from where I was kneeling behind him my face pressed between his buttocks as I licked him, I hadn’t been sure about rimming when he had first explained it but when I had seen his reaction the first time my tongue touched him there all doubts had been erased. I still gripped the lube package tightly in one hand. I tore it open as I got to my feet. I knew what he wanted. His cock would be engorged again; it always made him hard when I fucked his ass with my tongue. My dick was so hard that it hurt. It had been sadly neglected in our love play this morning but I was pretty sure that I was about to make up for misusing it so badly. I squeezed the lube into my hand and dropped the empty package. My left hand encircled my cock slowly spreading lube over the hardened length and the other began to prepare him. I slipped the first finger into him as gently as I could; he moaned and pressed backwards encouraging me to continue. I knew from experience that he wanted me inside him as badly as I wanted to be there. Finally I was sure he was ready and I moved my hand. He whimpered a quiet protest when my fingers left him. My cock replaced them, pressing against the well slicked opening, nothing between us for the first time. “Are you sure?” I asked. His answer was to groan and push back towards me. I paused staring down at where our bodies touched, at where they would join. Trust. I pressed inside him. I was sure it didn’t feel very different to him but the feeling of being inside him bare was incredible everything felt more…more what? I don’t know just more…only maybe it wasn’t being sans condom and buried in his ass to my balls. Maybe it was the idea that we were doing something so forbidden or maybe it was the fact that everything we had done up to this point had been nothing more than nearly an hour of foreplay as far as my cock was concerned. I don’t know what it was or if it was a combination of everything; all I knew was that once I was inside him there was none of the slow lovemaking we usually indulged in. I pulled back and plunged forward again, slamming my body hard into his. There wasn’t enough leverage to suit me, I couldn’t find my rhythm. I pulled him back from the railing so he was more bent over and grabbed his hips. I pulled out and thrust forward hard. He grunted and I nearly howled. He was so damn tight and hot, so fucking hot. The next stroke took me over his prostate and only my harsh grip on his hips kept him standing. Sweat slicked our skin and his head hung between his arms as he pushed backwards to meet my every forward thrust. For a long time there was no sound but that of our bodies slapping together and of our labored breathing. I lasted longer than I had expected I would when I started but I could feel my body tense as I neared the end. On the brink of climaxing I suddenly found myself nearly frozen with indecision. I had no idea if I was supposed to come inside him or not and deciding to err on the side of caution I tried to pull out but he pushed back hard burying me in his body once more. I was already on the edge and the unexpectedness of his action undid me. I cried out, my fingers digging deep into the muscles of his hips as I came. My body bucked into his and I was wracked by tremors as my seed spilled into his body. I nearly collapsed over him. My hands finally unclenched their death grip on his hips, I was scared to look at what marks I had most certainly left behind. I slid them up his sweat slick sides, over his shoulders and down the length of his arms. My hands covered his on the railing and I buried my face in his hair. I breathed him, now he smelled like Matt and like sex. He moved us closer to the railing and his motion uncoupled us. I reached for my cock before I remembered there was no condom to worry about. It was an odd feeling. I covered his hand again and ignored the fact that the sun was up and there were people out on the ground below. We were only seven floors up not really enough to be safe from discovery. I didn’t care let them stare. “I love you, Trey.” he whispered and his words made my heart sing. My fingers tightened where they lay over the tops of his. “I love you too.” I answered though I didn’t bring my face out of his hair, “So very much.” So very much… I blinked realizing the sun was no longer coming up but that full day was upon me. I stretched in the deck chair I had been laying in and smiled with some bemusement at my now relaxed cock nestled so innocently in its blond nest. Quickly drying cum coated my belly and had spattered my chest. My hand was stiff with it. I grabbed a towel that I had dropped on the floor the night before but I had waited too long and only a shower was going to help now unless I wanted to flake all day. The idea made me laugh and I got slowly to my feet. I stood at the balcony for a moment staring at the people below as they went about their business. The children made me smile. My hands gripped the railing tightly for just a second as the breeze picked up and if I was very still I could almost feel his kiss whisper against my skin. Almost but the magic was gone for now. I retraced my earlier steps back into the bedroom. The light was on and the sight of the room made me smile and shake my head, hard to tell what a psychologist would have made of it. The pillows were piled on one side of the bed, the sheets mussed but on the other side, where one might expect evidence of another person to be was instead my backpack, my books and my laptop. I sat down on the bed and looked at the computer screen; yeah it was on. I hadn’t turned it off since I had gotten here two days ago. I stared at Matt’s picture in the instant messenger box. I hadn’t wanted to close it earlier though he had been forced to get off and get some sleep before he had to go to school. He had managed to get a few days off from work but he couldn’t miss school. That was ok, clearly I could keep occupied. I laughed at myself. My hand hovered over the mouse in indecision. Even when he wasn’t there I hated to close that window; my only real connection to him. I touched his picture, the picture that wasn’t him. I had never seen him, no pictures…no phone numbers. We were not our own and could never belong to each other…not in the way that most people thought of lovers belonging. And yet…and yet…my god how I loved him; I loved him with a devotion and passion that were so real they consumed me totally. I remembered what everyone had said to me before I left home. “Make sure you get out” “you need to meet someone” “you stay on that computer too damn much” and on and on, nothing I had not heard and ignored before. They didn’t understand and their lack of understanding meant less than nothing to me. I could have wasted a lot of time justifying myself to them, but what was the point? Their narrow views of what was real and what wasn’t real had no place in my life. I had a job, I had friends that weren’t online and I enjoyed plenty of activities in what they called “the real world” but I also had Matt and for someone like me, who had never loved before it was a heady feeling. Why was what I had with him less than what they had with all their petty games, jealousies and betrayals? I had no desire to join in what they all called love. Funny how even the most open minded people had their ideas of what was normal and tried to force them on the rest of us. How could I ever begin to explain what he was to me? The answer was that I couldn’t and so I didn’t even try. I sighed. I couldn’t close the messenger, not now. It would be closed again soon enough when I had to go back home, back to never having enough time with him. I typed a message instead, even though “it appeared that Matt was offline and the message would be delivered to him when he signed in” or so they said, it didn’t always work that way. Stupid IM. “I’m taking a shower and then I’m going to take you to breakfast. I’m starving which is all your fault. Geez I’m probably gonna get kicked out of here thanks to you : p. What possessed you to let me fuck you on the balcony like that? You don’t have good sense, you know that right? I’ll be online again later, before you get back I hope. I love you.” A simple note that would make him laugh when he came online and that would let him know what we had been doing so far today. I hit send and left the computer sitting open. I called down to the lobby to cancel housekeeping. I would just as soon they didn’t move anything and I could grab more towels later. I headed for the bathroom which was off the kitchenette. The sun on the water outside the glass doors caught my eye. Matt turned from where he was leaning on the balcony to smile at me. He wouldn’t join me in the shower; we were both ready for breakfast. I returned his smile but before I turned away from him I let the vision fade, there was only the empty balcony and the ocean beyond. I snorted in derision why in the world would I want that? And then he was back, he shook his head at me bemused at my silliness and turned back to the view. Illusion…Fantasy…Delusion? I questioned myself as I continued on into the bathroom and shrugged…perhaps…or maybe it was simply a matter of perception. This story is dedicated to everyone with an online lover and to the people who don’t understand them. Please comment :)