raw They stayed out of sight. The metal railing that separated the road and the deep ditch was the only visual indicator to where they were going. They stayed behind the trees, holding each other in silence. The sound of an occasional car passing would bring a gasp, followed by a quiet sob, until it slowly subsided, only to return when another car drove by. Justin had told Molly to empty her schoolbag so that they could put the bag of food in it instead of her school books. It wasn’t like she was going to need them. Her books, along with Justin’s glass covered sweater remained in their last stolen car, now sitting about a mile away from them: the tire blown and the gas tank near empty. Justin wondered how they would be able to find the jet that was waiting for them. Would it be a trap? Would his mother be there waiting for them with open arms? Maybe she was still alive. Hope was all Justin could hold on to now. Molly trips, but with her brother’s help, never misses a step. She bites down on her once polished thumb nail, the hot pink paint now scratched and barely visible. Justin kisses her forehead; her blonde hair was beginning to stick against her from sweat. She doesn’t bother forcing a smile. There was no point. She was exhausted. Fear had drained her numb and the twelve year old was no on auto-pilot. Left to his own thought, Justin wonders if he should even bother thinking about France. Would they make it? Would, by some miracle, they actually land in France… only to be murdered there? It could happen. Leaving a country wouldn’t guarantee their safety, would it? What about Uncle Richard? He hadn’t seen him in twelve years. So much had changed since then. Those letters that he wrote… they said so much. Could Justin even look at his uncle after writing so much personal information in those letters? It hurt to him to think. He couldn’t think. He was too tired. Just so tired… he missed his mother. He even missed his father. As much as he hated his father, he never wanted him to die. He still had hope that one day something would happen and a relationship could have happened. He knew it would never be the way it once was, but he had hoped for something: something positive. Craig was still his father, and as much as he hated him, he still loved him at the same time. He wondered if Craig felt the same. But it was too late to ask. His parents were dead, and now instead of wondering if a reunion would ever happen, he was left to ponder if they would be buried in the same plot. And who would pay for the burial? Would they be buried? Maybe they would be cremated. He had never given it any thought before, and yet here he was, stumbling along the grass, trying to decide if he had a preference. He begins to imagine the memorial service. Who would be there? Not his family. They’d be dead. His mother was an only child, and her parents had died when Justin was around Molly’s age. His family was dead. But then there was his family on Liberty Avenue. They’d be there. He felt the pain his heart as he imagined their faces. He never got to say good bye to them. He missed Debbie’s motherly ways and her comforting hugs. He missed Vic’s incredible way of giving him advice without him even realizing it. He missed Michael. He was like the annoying older brother he never had, but surely would have wanted. He missed Emmett, and how the man could light up any room and brighten any day. He missed Ted. As mundane as the man could be, there was something truly special about him. Something that not even Ted realized, but Justin could see. He had hoped to be there when Ted finally found it. But that would never happen now. He missed Brian. Just thinking about the man he loved as much as taking a breath… made the tears return. The salty taste kissed his lips and he tried to remember the last time he felt Brian’s mouth on his. The pain felt like it would never end. How he wished he could go back in time. If only for a moment. Nothing mattered anymore. The tricks didn’t matter anymore. Brian not saying those three words didn’t matter anymore. Nothing fuckin’ mattered anymore. If he had known then what he knew now… God, how things would have been different. But he had made a choice and they had to live with those consequences. It was for the best, Justin had to tell himself. Because now he was leaving: either the country or Earth. He wasn’t sure, and at this moment he didn’t care because he already felt dead.