Justin stared at his reflection in the mirror. He couldn't hide the bruise on his cheek. The dark color of it was a stark contrast against his white skin.The one near his eye could easily be overlooked, he was thankful of that. Biting his lip, he wonders how he can avoid anyone asking him questions about it in class.
It had been three days since Justin left Ethan’s apartment. Three days in complete paranoia. Daphne had let him stay in her dorm room. Her roommate didn’t ask any questions. She knew it was none of her business. Justin was grateful for that. But he was still scared. What if Ethan was looking for him? He had called his professors and told them that he couldn’t make it to class. I could say I was in a car accident? He didn’t want them to know. He didn’t want anyone to know. I don’t need their pity. As afraid as he was, he was also angry. He had convinced himself that Ethan was what he wanted and in the end he was rewarded with bruises and the awful truth: that Ethan’s love was poison. He didn’t need that in his life. What he needed was time to figure him self out.
Pulling at the sleeves of his turtleneck sweater, he’s again grateful that the weather can allow him to easily cover his bruises without any suspicion. He was still sore. It didn’t matter what position he would sit in, somehow his back would always hurt. It even hurt to walk. His arms didn’t hurt as much, as long as no one would touch them.
Sighing, he knew that they would heal. They were only physical wounds. Those would heal in time. He knew that. What he didn’t know was if what he felt inside would heal. Would the fear ever go away? Or would it get worse? It’s only been three days…
He needed to get on with his life. Fuck Ethan. Of course that would mean having to avoid Ethan. Fuck him. As much as he hated to admit it, getting on with his life would mean having to make some changes. He would have to quit his job at the gallery. Ethan had made himself quite comfortable at the gallery when they were together. Justin never worked there alone. Ethan always stopped by sometime during his shift, and while there had made friends with the fellow students and staff-members there. I can’t go back there… I don’t know what to expect. Ethan could be there, or maybe he already went there and told them lies about me… I don’t know, I don’t know and I don’t want to know. Those were his friends, not mine. He made them his friends. He made sure of that. Of course they will take his side… working there would be like working on a suicide mission. No thank you. He can keep those friends. I don’t care. I can get another job. I will get another job…a job that HE didn’t suggest me to apply for. A job that I will inquire about myself and decide whether or not I want to take it. He takes a deep breath. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he was going to try. I’m not going to let him win.. I’m not going to stay hidden in this room forever… no. This is my life, not his. I own it. It’s mine. I am mine.
Glancing over at his schoolbag, he reaches out and touches the friendship bracelet that is tied to the strap. He smiles. Daphne is the best. He hoped she knew how much he cared about her, and how important she was in his life. I should tell her that more often. Looking back at the mirror, he knows it’s time. Midterms were about to come up and this was the week of review. He was not going to miss any review days because of Ethan. No fuckin’ way. I can do this. Taking his schoolbag, he winces as it hits his side. Stopping for a moment, he hesitates. Then shakes his head. I own my own. This is my life. I’m going to school. Forcing a smile, he walks over to the door, opens it, and walks out, shutting the door behind him.