I wake up to the sight of a dozen white carnations on my night stand.  In the middle is a card with the words I'm Sorry written on it.  

I find myself smiling that Tim remembered my telling him why I didn't like roses in general, especially red ones.  Stretching out I replay he events of yesterday in my head.  Brian's back.  He's getting married.  Married.  That word keeps running through my brain like a song that gets caught in your head.  Married, married, married.  

"That was suppose to be me."  I say out loud before my mind can even register it.  Guilt suddenly strikes me.  It's not like Tim was there to hear my confession, it's just that.... I love Tim.  I really do.  My life with Tim is easy.  We are on the same page about everything.  

Glancing at the clock, I realize I have 45 minutes until I have to meet with Steve Byrnes the owner of The Byrnes Gallery about a show.  I get up and head to the shower.  

As the water pelts down on me, thoughts of Brian keep fluttering before my eyes like a movie and before I know it I have my cock in my hand.  As memories of Brian fucking me fill my head, I'm cumming hard and fast.  

Once again that guilt creeps up on me.  I scrub myself clean and watch in fascination as my juice is sucked down the drain.  

Throwing the curtain open, I grab the nearest towel and head to the bedroom.  I pull on a pair of jeans and a sweater.  Hey I'm an artist.  Suits are for the corporate America type.  I'm out the door.