The following is a set of excerpts from the Journal of Gus Peterson. Mr. Peterson started keeping his journal almost as soon as he learned how to write. It is also obvious from the journal itself that Mr. Peterson wrote about certain events in his life from a later perspective as well as at the time the event occurred. Examples would be an entry written in pencil in a child's handwriting followed by an entry written in in cursive in ink. This set of excerpts deal with sad times in Mr. Peterson’s life, obviously the editor couldn’t include every such entry from the journal. Saturday November 4, 2006 Yesterday my goldfish died. I’m spending the weekend with Justin and Daddy so Justin picked me up from school like he almost always does when I stay with them. We stopped and got an ice cream cone, like we always do. I always get peanut butter with butterfingers mixed in since that‘s my favorite. Justin always gets something different since he says that there’s more intrigue that way. I have no idea what that means. When Daddy picks me up we never get ice cream since he worries about his figure too much. Melanie told me that once when I told her about Justin getting me ice cream but that Daddy never does. I don’t know what this means either. Daddy would much rather go look at new suits than buy an ice cream cone. I don’t understand Daddy some days, who likes looking at clothes instead of eating ice cream? Daddy always looks good in whatever he wears. Justin really likes it when Daddy doesn’t button up his shirt, I can tell because of how big his smile gets. Daddy complains about how Justin dresses and that he wouldn’t touch those clothes with a 10-foot pole yet he’s always touching Justin somewhere no matter what he wears. Anyway when we got home the first thing I saw was that Liberty wasn’t swimming around in his bowl like usual. Liberty was floating on top of the water, which I knew meant that he was dead. It’s not like I expected him to live forever but it was sad. I had to leave him at Daddy’s because Jenny kept trying to push his bowl off of the coffee table. I know that she’s only two but I’m sure she was doing it on purpose. Justin and I disposed of the body and washed the bowl out. Daddy came home then and acted like it was his goldfish that had died. I think I know what Granny Deb means when she says Brian queens out more than anyone thinks he does. I remember one time at the Diner when Daddy wouldn’t get me a lemon bar, I kind of pouted about it and Granny Deb said ‘Well Brian you’re teaching him how to queen out like a pro.’ Though I think it should be king out since Daddy and I are boys not girls. Daddy kept asking me if I was ok and did I want to get another fish in the morning. I kept telling him that I was fine and that I didn’t want another fish. That got him more upset for some reason I still don‘t understand. Finally it was my bedtime and I left Daddy and Justin in the living room. They were kissing before I got out of the room. I love watching them kiss since it proves how much they love each other. Daddy’s pants almost always get pointy though; I‘ve always wondered why that happens. As I was leaving I heard Daddy say. ‘Justin he’s hiding his pain we have to get him another fish tomorrow.’ ‘He’s ok Brian, it was just a goldfish.’ ‘I know but he’s still hurting and I never want my Sonnyboy to hurt.’ ‘Let’s go to bed Brian and I’ll make you feel better about Liberty dying.’ Then I couldn’t hear them talking anymore but pretty soon I could hear them in their room. They get very loud when they kiss in their bedroom for some reason. {The following lines were obviously added many years later} editor’s note. How could I have ever been so naïve? Loud kissing, hell Justin probably fucked Dad into the mattress to get him to forget about Liberty dying. Justin was always very good at knowing when to fuck Dad and when to let Dad do the fucking though I‘m sure Dad always thought he was the one who made the decision on who was the top. They were the perfect couple. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sept 8 2014 I knew that it was going to happen but to get the official notice on my birthday just made it more sad and painful. My publisher informed me that after “Tyler and the Pirates of Blumom” they no longer see any need to continue the series. It has nothing to do with the quality of my writing but that they simply don’t see a market for the stories if the hero is older than the target audience. I can’t complain too much since I turned 14 today and I’ve had 7 novels professionally published and one more to be published with this company. Actually they’re just long short stories with a lot of illustrations by Justin to make the book big enough to pass as a kids novel. Justin always draws everything exactly the way I see them in my head. He charges me a very low rate for his illustrations, of course I know that he would settle for the dollar we first negotiated if I would go along with that. I know that he doesn’t need to get any money from these books but I need to pay him for his work When I wrote Dad a story for his birthday I never expected that it would lead to a publishing contract. I’ve made enough money, what with what I was paid and Ted’s investing of the money, so that I’ll be able to pay for my college education. Of course Dad will queen out when I tell him that he doesn’t have to pay for my education. Sometimes I don’t know how Justin puts up with him. Dad and I worked on that first story to make it better, I really didn’t know that having dialog made a story better, and then he had it self-published. Surprisingly someone at the publishing firm saw it and was impressed enough to contact Dad about my writing a series of books in that universe. I guess my age was what sold them more than the story itself. It took a while to get use to having to use a pseudonym but it was the right decision since if it had been common knowledge that I was the author then I would‘ve had some problems at school. Dad, Justin and I discussed it and decided that the best way was to tell a series of stories involving Tyler, the son of Russ, as he grew up. Ryan, Dustin, and Russ all appeared in most of the stories but the main character was Tyler. Each book deals with an adventure of Tyler as he goes through school, the first one “Tyler: Son of the Legion” is set during his first grade year. Each of the books then takes Tyler through the next school year. I have to move on though, I do have some ideas for a real novel but I think I’ll wait a while before I actually start writing it. As Justin has said on more than one occasion I need to be a kid at least for a little while. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Saturday May 21, 2016 It’s been almost 24 hours and it still hurts. It’s a dull aching pain but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. We had to have done something wrong since there’s no way that Dad would put up with Justin fucking him if it always hurts this much. Everyone thinks Dad is this big macho top but I’ve seen him almost in tears from a splinter in his finger. Dad and Justin are out of town for the weekend and I decided that it was time for Rickie and me to lose our anal cherries. We’d decided that when we were ready that we’d take turns to see who likes what best but I was tired of waiting for Rickie to decide that we were ready. Just because he’s older than me doesn’t mean he has to be in charge of our love life. Editor’s note: The next section was an addendum, to the entry, added years later. The editor feels that it makes more sense to place it here rather than at the end of the entry. I always knew that Dad and Justin had a very equal relationship sexually but like everyone I thought that for the most part Dad ran the relationship since he was the older of the two. About 5 years after the events in this entry Craig and I took Dad and Justin out to dinner to celebrate Dad’s 50th birthday. Before we left for the restaurant Justin took me aside and told me to be prepared since Dad had been acting like a jerk all day about getting old. At the restaurant he just kept going on like a spoiled child. The meat was too tough for his old teeth to chew, his gray hair was reflected in the spoon and so on, it became very tiresome by the time we got back to their place. I was feeling sorry for Craig since I was going to go back to my apartment but he was stuck there. The door had barely closed when Justin laid down the law. ‘Brian you are fucking not old and I’ve had enough of your bellyaching. Get your skinny ass in our room and start acting your age instead of five.’ Dad looked at him and started to say something but Justin just stared at him in a full-blown Kinney stare and Dad just turned around and walked out of the room. Justin apologized for both of them and asked me if Craig could spend the night with me. Of course I said yes and we went to Craig’s room to get him an overnight bag. ‘Gus are Pop and Brian really mad at each other?’ ‘No Craig they’re just having a spat, they’ll be back to normal by the time I bring you back tomorrow.’ Things were back to normal before we got out of the house. Justin was obviously fucking Dad through the floor from the sound of it. ‘Gus do they know how loud they are when they’re having sex.’ ‘No Craig they don’t and how do you know what they’re doing?” ‘Gus I’m almost 13 years old I’ve known what they’ve been doing for years. I asked Grandma Deb one time what Brian meant when he was hollering ‘ride me Justin ride me.’ ‘What did she say? I don’t believe I’m asking that.’ ‘She just said, “they’re having sex pumpkin” then she kind of gulped and said “oops me and my big mouth, don’t tell them that I said that.” ‘That sounds like Deb.’ If Dad and Justin like being versatile then who are Rickie and I to go against that trend. I think Mikey’s head would explode if he knew that Justin’s cock has been up Dad’s asshole once let alone the hundreds if not thousands of times it’s been up there. I have to find out what we did wrong but I can’t ask Dad or Justin since that would let them know that I spent the weekend here while they were out of town. Actually I think Dad would be secretly pleased that I’d put one on over the family but Justin would just give me a sigh and a frown and that would just ruin my day. It was kind of fun plotting against everyone in order to get a place to seduce Rickie. I had to seduce him this time since he seduced me into our first oral adventures. Besides he hasn’t made any indication that he’s ready to seduce me again. I think that he’s sort of afraid of Dad but he should know that Justin’s the one to be afraid of. I thought I was dying when he sucked me off that first time the pleasure was so intense. I knew how great it felt when he gave me a hand job but his mouth around my cock was 10 times better. It wasn’t much of a seduction though, he came into my bedroom, sat down next to me, started kissing me, fondling my cock and pulling it out of my pants. Then before I knew what was happening he had swallowed my dick and was sucking the largest load of my life into his throat. Then he just looked at me with this huge grin on his face. That’s when I noticed that my bedroom door was open. I’m Brian Kinney’s son I couldn’t let that challenge go by without an answer. So I stood up, dropped my pants and boxer briefs, walked over and closed the door. Then I walked back to the bed pushed Rickie onto his back, pulled off his pants, his dick was hard and would’ve been pointing to the ceiling if he were standing up. I pulled it away from his tummy and went down on him, I thought I was going to throw up but then I got into a rhythm and before I knew what was going on he was coming down my throat. I then gave him a shit-eating grin and then followed it with a Sunshine smile. The next thing we knew we were waking up and then we 69ed for the first time. Since then barely a day has gone by when we haven’t sucked each other off. Rickie prefers to 69 though personally that’s not my favorite way of doing it though I’ve never really told him so. First I had to convince Mom and Melanie that Dad and Justin would be home to watch me while I studied for finals. That was easy since I don’t think they even thought that I would ask to spend the weekend at Dad’s place if Dad and Justin weren’t going to be home. It was a little trickier convincing Justin that I needed to study at their place but in the end I just used the Jenny card and he said yes. I’m not sure where they went but I’m sure it’s a sex weekend because Dad barely noticed that I was there and kept looking at Justin and licking his lips. I hope I’m still as interested in sex as Dad is when I get to be his advanced age. Daphne had made one of her infrequent trips to Pittsburgh so Craig was staying with her. I’m sure that’s the main reason that Dad and Justin went off on their rendezvous in the first place. They’ll come home late tomorrow night with the well fucked look that they get whenever they go off on one of their sex trips. Hell they have that look almost every morning of the year. I had the house all to myself so I called Rickie and invited him to spend the weekend with me. He’s been doing that for years so his parents didn’t question the invitation either. When Rickie knocked at the back door, we always use the back door of each other’s house; I met him dressed only in one of Justin’s silk robes. I used one of Justin’s simply because it’s short enough that my bottom is barely covered and my dick just hangs out. I figured that I would get Rickie thinking sex from the very beginning of our night. I’m sure that Rickie was suspecting a night of sucking when he first saw how I was dressed, or should I say barely dressed, but I had bigger fish in mind. So he just stood in the doorway staring at my chest since I had arranged the robe to show it off, then his eyes dropped to my crotch and of course that caused my dick to start to rise which caused him to get a big smile. I reached out and grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house. I shut the door and started kissing him. While I was kissing his luscious mouth I was pulling off his shirt. It was good thing that it was a loose T-shirt or I would’ve torn it from his body and I don’t know how we would’ve explained that to his parents. We then started shuffling towards my room while we removed the rest of his clothes, luckily he was only wearing the shirt, shorts, and sandals, I really like it that he never wears underwear when he comes over to see me or when I come over to his place, so he was naked before we got out of the hallway. I was surprised that I still had Justin’s robe on but he told me later that he liked the feel of it between our bodies so he didn‘t take it off of me. Of course by now both of us were hard as steel pipes and our cocks were crushed together between our bodies as our tongues were fighting in each other’s mouth. I love the look of his cock, it’s a little shorter and skinnier than mine but since he’s circumcised it just looks so much better than mine; especially when it‘s not hard not that it‘s soft much when I can see it. I wish that Dad hadn’t interfered at my bris but I don’t know how to bring up that little fact up with him. I found out about that story years ago when Dad, Justin, and I showered together at the swimming pool at some state park we were picnicking and swimming at and I asked Justin why my peepee looked so different than his and Daddy’s did. I knew why theirs were so much bigger than mine but I wanted to know why mine had a cover and theirs didn’t. So Justin explained to me about circumcision and how Dad had objected to Melanie wanting to change me so soon after my birth. Of course it was years later before I knew why Dad’s cock was twitching while he was looking at Justin. No matter where he’s at Dad is aroused at the sight of Justin’s body. I don’t think he’s ever let me see him naked since that incident. Though once I got old enough to know what I was seeing I’ve seen both Dad’s and Justin’s erections through their pants. I think that those two have hard-ons more often than not. Dad doesn’t usually wear any underwear and Justin usually does so Dad’s hard-on is usually more distinct than Justin’s. I think Dad would have a heart attack if he knew that I’d noticed his erections. By the time Rickie and I got to my room I was almost ready to shoot just from rubbing my cock against his and the kissing we’d been doing. So we just fell onto my bed and I crawled on top of Rickie and started sucking his cock and since mine was hanging over his mouth he was soon sucking it. I came before he did but he came less than a minute later. Then like we always do we climbed up to the top of the bed and lay back in each other’s arms and took a nap. I know that I’m only 15 and he’s 16 but that first time we come takes it out of us and we always take a nap so that we can go at it at least one more time. I know that Justin knows what we do but I think Dad still manages to ignore what his ears are telling him. I really think that we could 69 in the living room while he and Justin are watching TV and he wouldn’t see his Sonnyboy engaging in a sexual act. I don’t know how Rickie’s parents ignore what we do in his bedroom though. I suppose they’re like Dad and simply don’t want to admit that their son is growing up let alone that he sucks the cock of his best friend. I woke up before Rickie so I started putting the rest of my plans into action. I lit the candles I had put in various parts of my room, I pulled the ice chest full of our favorite snack and drinks out of my closet and I put the vid into the player and started it, with the volume just loud enough to be heard. Then I got back on the bed and started licking Rickie’s body starting with his nipples and working my way down to his cock. He was wide-awake by the time I got there but he didn’t say anything. I kissed the head of his dick and then moved back up the bed and started kissing him. He’d started fondling my cock but once he got into the kissing he stopped stroking me. I didn’t want to come again so I stopped kissing him and told him to grab the ice chest. We started eating and drinking and watching the vid. I’d gotten it out of Dad’s stash, figuring that it would be a good way of seeing how two guys fuck. While we’d looked at pictures of guys fucking it just isn’t quite the same as seeing a vid of two guys fucking. So we’re sitting on my bed, eating snacks and watching a gay porno. We both were as hard as we’ve ever been and both cocks were drooling pre-cum. Finally I decided that it was time to get on with the show. I put the ice chest back onto the floor and started kissing him again. Then I told him what we were going to be doing for the rest of the night. “Rickie I’m going to fuck you into the mattress.” “You are?” “Yes its time we go all the way. I love sucking your beautiful cock and I can’t say how much I love you sucking my cock but it’s time that we fuck each other so we really know what it’s like to be gay men. I figured that the porno would show us how to do it and now that I’ve watched it I’m sure that I know how. I’m going to make love to you first and then you’ll make love to me. Then we’ll decide if we want to do it again. Then tomorrow we’ll spend all day fucking and sucking just like my Dad and Justin are doing on their weekend.” “Gus it sounds like you’ve been planning this for a while. I love you so let’s get started. We could wrestle to see who gets to go first but I think that I like this dominant side you’re showing tonight so I’ll follow your agenda. I don’t know if this porno is really going to help that much since those guys are pros and we’re just beginners.” “Other than their cocks being bigger than ours what difference could it make? You’ll get on your belly with your ass in the air, I’ll push my cock into your hole then I’ll just go in and out until I shoot my load. Then we’ll reverse roles.” He looked so appealing with his ass up in the air that my cock got even harder, which I didn’t think was possible. So I got behind him and put my dick at his hole and started pushing. Nothing happened at first since his hole wouldn’t open up to let me in but after pushing even harder it started going in but it was a struggle the whole time until I was in all the way. I don’t think anything could’ve grabbed my cock any more tightly than his ass did. I pulled out and then pushed back in and repeated until I shot my load. As good as I felt I could tell that Rickie wasn’t enjoying it as much. Instead of groaning with pleasure he was groaning in pain. His cock had shriveled up into nothing but he lied and said how wonderful it was. I knew I had to make him feel better so I started sucking on his cock. Pretty soon he was hard again and I assumed the position and told him to give it a try. His cock is smaller than mine in both length and breadth so he had a little less trouble getting into me than I had getting into him but it felt like he was sticking a knife into my ass. I tried to hide how much it was hurting but Rickie could tell as easily as I had about him and he pulled out after only a few strokes. ‘Gus that wasn’t as good as I expected but I suppose it’ll get better as we practice.’ ‘I’m sure you’re right but not tonight. Let’s go take a shower and clean up and then I’ll suck you off, I’m a climax ahead of you and I owe you one. Kinney’s always pay their debts. So we got into the shower and started washing each other, it’s surprising how something as simple as sharing a shower can be so erotic. Pretty soon we were both as hard as we had been earlier and I dropped to my knees and engulfed his cock in one swallow. It took much longer for him to come than usual so his rear must’ve been aching as much as mine was. We then went back to my room and got into bed and before I really knew it he was snoring and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I woke up with my cock down Rickie’s throat and his cock pushing at my lips. I couldn’t refuse such a delightful repast and opened up and swallowed. After breakfast we spent the morning having sex in every room of the house, except for Dad and Justin’s bedroom and bath. We didn’t say anything but all we did was blow each other and jerk each other off. What can I say we’re young and can come 6 or 7 times a day without a problem. Rickie went home after supper and I’ve been writing this entry ever since. I know that fucking has to be better than what we managed because I know that Justin loves getting fucked by Dad and like I wrote earlier Dad wouldn’t put up with Justin fucking him if it hurts as much as I hurt last night. I need some advice from someone; the porno obviously left something out. I can’t ask Dad or Justin, I wouldn’t ask Mikey advice on choosing shampoo. Ben has always intimidated me for some reason, Hunter’s in Lincoln so I guess that leaves Emmett and Ted. They had some good tips on sucking cock so I suppose they’ll be able to tell me how to fuck and get fucked without it hurting so much. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thursday November 23, 2028 We’d just started Thanksgiving dinner when the phone rang. Dad made one of his acerbic comments about people calling at dinnertime on Thanksgiving and then picked up the phone before it went to the messenger. I thought that Dad was going to faint as he listened to whoever was on the other end of the line. I’ve never seen Dad get so white. I suppose that hearing that the woman you thought of, as your mother was dead would affect anyone, even Brian Kinney. Justin took the phone from Dad and talked to Ben. Justin then told all of us what had happened. Last night Carl and Deb were coming home from some party when Carl had another heart attack and lost control of the car. They both died at the scene of the accident. Liberty Avenue, hell Pittsburgh, will never be the same without Deb running the diner and the lives of everyone she loved. I thought I was going to die the first time I went into the Diner after Rickie left Pittsburgh, to go to Cal-Berkley to start his football career there, when she said loud enough for everyone to hear. “Gus I know you’ll miss Rickie but I’ve set you up for a date tonight.” then she dragged the new busboy out of the kitchen and introduced him to me. “Gus Peterson this is Monte Heimes, Monte this is Gus. Now Gus he has to work tomorrow so don’t fuck him so hard he can’t walk.” I was lucky enough that Dad and Justin weren’t there but I have to admit that Monte was a good fuck. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tuesday June 15, 2027 I always knew that the bitch hated the family but I never thought that she would run away from the family and home on her 23rd birthday. She left a note telling us to leave her alone and to not try to find her. She was through with carpet munchers and cocksuckers and that she was going to finally have a normal family. I guess that time she walked in on me going down on some trick bothered her more than I thought. Craig’s as straight as they come but she’s hated him almost from the moment Justin and Dad brought him home from the hospital. Craig and I don’t really care that Jenny left Pittsburgh but Mom and Melanie are devastated, they always saw more in the witch than anyone else did. The biggest surprise is how hard Dad is taking the news. He spoiled her more than Mikey ever did and that’s saying a lot. I never told him but Jenny despised him since she found out that he bottoms for Justin. She thought that made him a fucking fag like the rest of us. I came very close to slapping the bitch when she said that. I hope I never see the witch again and that she has a miserable life and that whatever guy she ran off with abandons her in a gutter. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- July 4, 2029 Mom called this afternoon, Melanie died of a heart attack while they were at a holiday picnic. They’d actually been getting along for the last year or so. I know that Mom’s upset since even when they were fighting and living apart they were still in each other‘s lives and now she‘ll really be alone. I’m not sure how I feel about this news. Of course I’m going to have to deal with Dad queening out over my not being upset enough about one of my mothers dying. Maybe I should just tell Justin to fuck him into the mattress a few times so he’ll stay out of my grieving. God that’s a terrible thought maybe I’m more upset about Melanie dying than I thought I was. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Friday November 2, 2029 We’ve had another tragedy in the family. The authorities in Lincoln called Michael and Ben, Ben called Dad, and Dad called me. I had to call Craig with the horrible news. Last night lightening struck their house in a freak winter rainstorm and started a fire, Hunter, Marilynn, and their girls, Debbie and Vicky, all died. All of them were still in their beds so they must’ve been killed by the smoke without waking up. I’ve always looked up to Hunter, he was just enough older than me that I really never thought of him as a brother but he certainly was part of my family. I’m going to miss him. Mikey and Ben are totally devastated since they lost their whole family in one swoop. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monday April 1, 2030 Dad’s beside himself with grief, he blames himself even though there’s no way in hell that this’s his fault. Mikey decided that life was too hard, like always he only thought of himself, and he killed himself this morning. He left a note explaining that with Jenny running away, Deb and Carl dying in that stupid accident, and then Hunter and his family dying in that fucking fire that he didn’t have any reason to go on with his life. Didn’t he think about Ben for even a second? I still don’t know what Ben ever saw in Mikey but they were together for almost 30 years so there must’ve been something. No matter what Justin, Craig, or I say Dad thinks that he should’ve done more to make Mikey happy. Why does Brian ‘fucking’ Kinney always have to blame himself for everyone else’s problems? I got so tired of him worrying about the failures in my love life that I simply stopped telling him about them. Just because I can’t find a guy I want to live with for the rest of my life isn’t his problem. I’ve always wished that I could find a ‘Justin’ of my own but they’re very rare and he should celebrate that he found his and not worry that I haven’t found mine yet. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunday June 30, 2030 Ben got on the plane this morning; so another one of the family is gone. He’s going to Tibet to become a monk. I’m not really sure why this’s bothering Dad so much I never really thought that he and Ben were that close. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wednesday June 14, 2056 Justin called me this morning with the news that Dad had died in his sleep. He was 85 and even with the advances in medicine he lived a full and happy life. Craig and his family will be there for the funeral so that we can be with Justin. As much as I know Justin will be hurting, after all they were together as a couple for over 50 years, he’ll be a rock and will worry about us. I’m going to talk to Craig as soon as he gets here; I think we need to make arrangements so that someone in the family is with Justin for the next several weeks. Justin will know what we’re doing but he’ll be happy that we think he needs our help. I’m sure that Craig’s boys will love spending a few weeks with their Grandpa, even if it’s in Pittsburgh. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Friday February 14, 2070 Mikey killed himself on April Fools Day and Justin passed away on Valentine’s Day, I think that says a lot about the two men in Dad’s life.