FEBRUARY 2023 “Good Morning Sonnyboy. What do you want for breakfast this fine Sunday morning?” “You mean that you plan on cooking Dad? You really must have had a great time last night. Are you sure you have the strength to cook this morning?” “What the hell does that mean young man? Yes I plan on cooking since Justin hasn’t gotten up yet.” “Doesn’t the fact that Uncle Justin's still in bed answer your question Dad? Did you wear him out?” “You're losing me Sonnyboy. Answer the questions I asked you as a good little boy should do when asked questions by his loving father.” “Well if you put it that way Dad, I guess we better stick with scrambled eggs and toast since I know that you can handle that.” “Gus you're going to be going back to State College hungry if you aren’t careful.” “Oh Dad you really are exhausted if you can’t figure out that I’m pulling your chain. Breakfast has always been your strong suit as a chef, whatever you want to make is fine with me; except poached eggs, I hate poached eggs.” “You aren’t getting away with a compliment causing me to forget the other questions. What did you mean about me having a great time last night and not having the strength to cook?” “Dad, you and Uncle Justin have never been particularly quiet when engaged in sex acts but last night might have set some new decibel levels.” “What?” “Dad I’ve heard a lot of sounds coming from your room over the years but last night was something else. I guess killing a few demons made the two of you hornier than usual, or at least less careful in holding down your voices. While I still don’t want to know any details about your love life I certainly could make some guesses about what was going on last night.” “What?” “Well ‘fuck me Justin’ only has a few interpretations Dad. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what ‘Brian slam that big cock of yours in me’ means either. The two of you were going at it when I finally fell asleep and you were still going at it when I woke up hours later. No wonder Uncle Justin's still in bed after the night the two of you obviously had. I‘m surprised that you're up and standing, but then I suppose I’m not surprised that you aren‘t sitting down.” “Gus! How long have you known what we were doing? Why didn‘t you ever say anything?” “I’ve always known that the two of you made strange noises at night but Mom and Mama explained that they were the sounds of love when I asked about them many years ago when I was a little boy. When I got old enough to really know what you were doing I was too embarrassed to actually say anything about it. Of course it never kept me awake like it did last night. I suppose I was usually asleep before you started most nights.” “What kept you awake last night Gus?” “Well Sunshine it seems that we were especially noisy in our passion last night. Sonnyboy was just explaining why he asked me if I had a great time last night. It seems we were extra loud last night and gave away a few of our secrets.” “Huh?” “Now Justin I know that you're brighter than that, I guess I did wear you out, you are getting old after all. Let’s just say that Sonnyboy overheard some of our comments and has a better idea of what goes on in our bedroom.” “Nothing goes on in there Gus, other than innocent slumber.” “Uncle Justin you can’t pull my chain on that one. I’ve known better than that for 15 years or more.” “You have, what gave us away?” “Oh the noises, other than snores, coming from your room over the years, but last night set new records for loudness as I’ve told Dad.” “Justin I never noticed that you snored.” “I suppose that's because your snores drown out my snores. What're we having for breakfast?” “Sonnyboy thinks I can’t cook anything more complicated than scrambled eggs and toast so I vote that we let him make breakfast. You did teach him how to make breakfast meals didn’t you Sunshine?” “Yes, but you know Brian it's interesting, the boy can make complicated dinner entrees turn out perfectly but he could never fry an egg without breaking the yolk. Scrambled eggs and toast sounds fine to me. I just got out of bed but I’m still terribly tired.” “Well fucking and getting fucked all night long might have something to do with that Uncle Justin.” “Augustus Brian, what caused that outburst?” “I’m sorry Uncle Justin, I don’t know.” “Justin I do believe that the boy blushes almost as red as you do.” “Don’t worry about it Gus. It's understandable that you're testy if you didn’t get all of your beauty sleep because two horny old men got carried away with passion.” “Justin I’m not old, horny yes, but old no.” “Look will you two just drop the whole subject, I’ll make breakfast then I’ll get ready to go back to State College.” “Gus will you have time to listen to my demon before you have to leave. I thought long and hard about my life last night; after Brian finished explaining his love demon and before we kept you awake with our noisy passion.” “I don’t know about the thinking Sunshine but I can attest to the long and hard.” “Brian!” “Dad!” “Got the both of you with one shot.” “Sure Uncle Justin I’ll take whatever time I need. What demon did you come up with?” “I’m not really sure it is a demon, in the sense of the demons your Dad had to deal with. I realized that I’ve had a tendency to keep situations bottled up instead of trying to get help dealing with them. My life would probably have been much easier if I could've just said to someone what was going and got some help but I just figured that the situations would solve themselves if I gave them enough time. But ignoring them really made the final solution much harder than it had to be. You would think I would've figured that out after the first time instead of having to deal with the same sort of thing later on in my life. The big thing Gus is never be afraid to ask for help.” “Sounds interesting to me. What situations are you talking about Uncle Justin?” “The first one would have to be what happened after the students at St James Academy found out that I was gay instead of just thinking I was gay.” “How did that happen?” “Didn’t we ever tell you the story of my coming out?” “Not that I remember, I remember the story of how you first met Dad, how you picked my name and then I kind of gloss over the remainder of the story since it involved sex.” “Gus it still surprises me how much of a prude you are.” “Me too Dad, but that's just the way I am. While I don’t ever remember having any problems with you and Uncle Justin being gay I just was never comfortable thinking about the two of you having sex. I mean I knew that you did since you never really hid that from me. Well I don’t ever remember seeing you do anything more than kiss and I had to trick you into that most of the time when I was around but I did hear a lot of strange sounds like we talked about earlier. I just didn’t like thinking about it. None of my friends liked thinking about their parents having sex either. So I guess that you'll have to remind me Uncle Justin, how did the students at St James find out that you were gay?” “I had spent the night with your Dad. We'd done just about everything that two men could do together, not everything mind you, but nearly everything. I didn’t get to top for months. We'd finally fallen asleep, for a few hours, when the alarm woke us up. After showering, and fooling around some more your Dad and I were finally getting dressed when Michael showed up with Brian’s Jeep. He was jealous of me even then, that's the only way I can explain his snarking at me that morning. When we got to the street we found out that some brats in Michael’s neighborhood had vandalized the car. The worst was the word FAGGOT spray painted on the side of the car in pink. Brian was going to take me to school and he asked me if I minded going in the Jeep. I said no I didn’t mind but I was lying through my teeth but there was no way I was going to say anything different.” “Why not Justin?” “Even that early in knowing you I knew enough to know to not show fear Brian. If it wasn’t going to bother you then it wasn’t going to bother me. Anyway we pulled up to school, not quietly, but with squealing tires so that everyone noticed. I got out of a Jeep with FAGGOT painted on the side, talked with this gorgeous man who even got out of the car and straightened out my jacket as we talked.” “I don’t remember that part Justin.” “That was the first time you said one thing with your words but the exact opposite with your body language Brian but it certainly wasn’t the last time. You were telling me that we would never see each other again yet you were worried about my appearance. While St James wasn’t the largest school in the Pittsburgh area it was far from the smallest but word about my gayness soon spread throughout the student population. From that day various members of the senior class picked on me. Funny that since I was a senior the younger students didn’t pick on me, even the ones that were much bigger than me, because they knew that if they did there were seniors that would have picked on them for daring to pick on an upper classman. Social status is a very funny situation at times. The other seniors would have protected me from younger students because of social status but didn’t protect me from my social peers; in fact some of the bastards that pushed me around would have been the first to object to a lower classman doing the exact same thing. It wasn’t too bad at first, mostly just nasty comments. But when I made the mistake of jacking Chris Hobbs off it got steadily worse. He openly pushed me around in the halls and then we had that fight in the locker room and so others felt that gave them permission to physically pick on me as well. Chris was always the worst; I’ve always thought that it was because he felt guilty for liking the hand job too much. Of course his actions in kidnapping you Gus kind of proved that in the long run though. He made sure that when Daphne and I tried to start the Gay-Straight Student Alliance that Dickson showed up to put a stop to the meeting. When someone set my locker on fire I finally said something to my mother who met with the Principal who basically said that he wouldn’t have done anything even if I had told him earlier in the year.” “Why didn’t you tell me how serious all of that shit was Justin?” “Because I thought I could handle it. Looking back if I had you might've actually been able to scare Hobbs enough that he wouldn‘t have taken a bat to my head. But I just thought I could handle it until I graduated and it became a moot point. I also thought that you would've resented me telling you about my problems. I was wrong and I paid dearly for that mistake, but I regret the most how much pain it put you through Brian.” “We all make mistakes but we should learn from them.” “Well that's what makes the other two times I kept my problems close to the vest even more stupid in hindsight.” “Well what are the other two Sunshine?” “After the bashing I had serious problems dealing with other people. Finally Mom decided that she couldn’t deal with me anymore and asked you to take me in and get me back to normal. You were wonderful Brian; you did everything necessary to help me get over my problems. After I was more or less back to normal you started trying to push me away again. You kept wanting to do things that I didn’t want to do yet I was so afraid that if I didn’t go along you would tell me to get lost again. I made the best of the situation I could. I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy myself at times but it wasn’t what I wanted. I couldn’t believe that you didn’t pick up on my discomfort but it didn’t seem like you did. Finally I just got tired of trying to figure out what was going on and started giving up on us. My 19th birthday present was probably the next to last straw while the Vermont trip definitely was the last straw. Ethan came along and did everything I wanted from a boyfriend and when you finally pushed me off of the cliff he caught me. I was reasonably happy with him but if he hadn’t won the Heifetz Award and left for his tour we probably wouldn’t have lasted much longer as a couple. I look back and see where if I had just made you listen to me before it got too far we probably would have saved ourselves a lot of pain. Then again if that had happened then Gus wouldn’t have been able to get us back together. I should've seen what you were doing before it was too late but I didn’t because I just kept thinking that everything would work out in the long run.” “Justin I was so afraid that you would leave me that I pushed you away. Somehow I thought that it would be less painful if I were the reason we split up than if you were the reason. Well if that was true I never want to know what my life will be like without you in it since I was horribly miserable when I pushed you away. I wish I'd been able to get past my demons in order to see what I was doing to you but I don‘t know that I could have no matter what you'd said to me.” “I should've at least tried instead of thinking I could handle it by myself, at the very least I could've talked to someone else and got some support in dealing with you. But then I should've learned from the blowup and the near disaster that was our separation to not keep my feelings away from you. Of course I didn’t and I almost destroyed our relationship again.” “When and what was this situation Uncle Justin?” “Gus only the clinic involved, your Dad, and Daphne know anything about this so I would appreciate it if you keep it to yourself. I did tell my Dad when we reconciled just before he died.” “You know I'll do that, but it does sound suspicious.” “Gus do you remember when you were in Kindergarten and you made your Dad and me so happy that we threw a party for you?” “Yes but I never did understand why what I did was so important to you two. I just did what I had been brought up to do.” “Well Gus when you're a father you will understand how proud you can be when your child does what you taught him to do. Anyway I was so proud of you I could have exploded with joy. I got to thinking that you would be the perfect big brother. I was finally making good money, between my job and my artwork that was selling at the various galleries around the area, so I was paying my share of the household expenses and putting money in the bank. So I'd be able to afford a child. The more I thought about it the more I liked the idea so I started working on Daphne. I eventually convinced her, not that it really took that much time to do so, that Brian and I'd make perfect parents and she agreed to be a surrogate mother. She asked me if I wanted to do it the old fashioned way. I even think she was serious but we'd done that once and once was more than enough for me.” “You had sex with Daphne? When?” “That doesn’t matter Gus but it did prove to me that I was gay through and through.” “Did you ever doubt that Sunshine?” “No but then I might've wondered if I'd never tried.” “You know better than that Justin.” “Yes I do. So after the holidays, Daphne and I went to the clinic to start the process. This was in January 2007 and the literature I had received from the clinic told me to not have sex for at least 2 days before my appointment. You have no idea how hard it was to not have sex with your Dad but the hard part was not telling him why. I came up with some stupid excuse that I was sick and didn’t want to give it to him.” “I never did understand why you wanted to keep the whole baby idea a secret Justin.” “I just wanted it to be a big surprise. Why I was so stupid to keep it a secret when it started causing problems is the demon we're talking about this morning. Daphne and I'd gone to the clinic and had very intense physicals. I also had to provide a sperm sample. Which was surprisingly embarrassing to provide, considering things I'd done in my life. Just jacking off shouldn’t have been a problem but knowing that the attendant knew what I was doing was embarrassing. A couple of days later we returned for the results of our physicals. Daphne was pretty much in perfect shape and would've no problems getting pregnant and carrying the baby to term. I on the other hand tested sterile. I tested so sterile that the Doctor thought that maybe there was a problem with the test. He asked me to go at least 10 days without ejaculating and come back and provide a new sample. I sat there speechless, first the shock of being told I was sterile and then trying to think of how in the world I was going to convince Brian that nothing was wrong when I refused to have sex with him for 10 days. It was hard enough to do that for 2 days but 10 was going to be almost impossible. Why I just didn’t tell him what I was doing I don’t know but I still wanted to keep it a secret. So I made the appointment to return in 11 days.” “I bought the sick excuse for a few days but then I started to worry that something was going on. I even thought for a day or two that he was cheating on me. That was such a horrible thought that I almost asked him but then I realized that he'd never do that to me again. But then I started thinking that something had to be up and then the clinic called to remind Justin of his appointment. Since I didn’t recognize the doctor’s name or the clinic I started thinking all kinds of terrible things. I convinced myself that he was dying from some terrible disease that affected either his penis or rectum. Why else would he refuse to have sex with me for an extended period of time? After a few days of that nonsense I decided I had to ask him what was going on.” “You never told me that Brian. A fatal disease involving the penis, I never heard of anything like that.” “Well you have to admit it was a reasonable idea considering that you were coming up with some silly reasons for sleeping in the spare room. I convinced myself that you were dying, you refused to have sex with me so the deadly illness had to do with your sexual organs, I mean if it were something normal like cancer or heart disease you would've still had sex with me up until you physically couldn't.” "Dad you really didn't beleive something that silly did you?" "Gus you should know me well enough to know that once I latch onto an idea I don't let it go until I have no choice but to admit being wrong and then of course I never admit to beleiveing it in the first place." “Gus you should know all about Kinney logic. Of course Brian, before you actually got the courage to ask me what was going on I went back to the clinic. I went into that little room and provided another sample, considering how long I had gone without ejaculating it took a long time to achieve my goal. I don’t know whether it was the embarrassment or the worry but it took much longer than normal but the cup overflowed. The Doctor told me that they would do a rush job and to come back the next morning. I went home and pretty much jumped Brian when he walked in the front door when he came home from work. I don‘t think that the door had closed before I had his pants open and his cock down my throat. “You could've knocked me over with a feather when you first jumped me and I think I fell over when I came. That was one of the most intense orgasms of my life. Then before I knew what was going on you had me on my back, my legs in the air, and my prostate getting massaged like it had very seldom been massaged. I can remember thinking he really is dying and is getting one last fuck in before he dies. At that point in time I didn’t really care since I was just about to have another overwhelming orgasm. By this time we'd moved into the living room and were lying on the carpet instead of the wood floor of the entry foyer. About the time I could think straight enough to ask what the hell was going on you'd sucked my cock hard again, were sitting on it and kissing me so that I couldn’t ask anything. After the third intense orgasm in less than 2 hours I finally was able to ask you what was going on. You just gave me a Sunshine smile and fell asleep. I actually felt for a pulse before I allowed myself to doze off. We were lucky that no one walked in on us, since the door was ajar; we were lying on the living room floor half naked with semen stains from the foyer to the living room. When I woke up we were hugging each other with our clothes pulled out of the way but nothing actually off. I untangled myself and put my clothes more or less in order and woke Justin up. I asked him what the hell was going on, did he make a habit of jumping guys walking into the house without warning and what was he dying from?” “I just started laughing my head off. I really couldn’t believe what I'd done since it was so unlike me. Then it sank in that Brian had asked me if I was dying. It was then that I realized how stupid I'd been not telling Brian what was going on. I'd scared him again by keeping things from him. Then of course he had to think I was crazy when I jumped him without saying a word. I mean I hadn’t even said hello before I was deep throating him in the entry foyer. So I went directly from laughing to sobbing, which of course caused him even more concern. Finally I was able to get control of my emotions and I told him what was going on.” “I was so relieved that Sunshine wasn’t dying that it took a while to sink in that my Twink was trying to have a baby. That he'd avoided having sex with me so that he could provide another sperm sample to be tested for fertility. So I told him that he was a stupid twat for not telling me what he was up to, but I stilled loved him even when he was acting like a sex-starved maniac. Then we both started laughing like a pair of fools. Then I picked him up and we went to our bathroom where we proceeded to shower until we ran out of hot water, considering we have an extra large water heater that took some time. I really thought my dick would fall off when we finally fell asleep that night. I can’t remember having so many intense orgasms in a single night.” “Well I suppose not having had sex for 10 days explains that Brian but I don’t remember topping you so many times in one night either. I hope that we haven’t embarrassed you too much Gus, do you need to go get a drink of water, you look terribly flushed.” “I’m ok I think.” “So the next morning Brian went with me to the clinic. The doctor called me in to his office and I insisted that Brian come with me for moral support. I was told that even after not ejaculating for 10 days they still couldn’t find a single viable sperm cell in my sample. I was totally sterile; that there wasn’t a chance whatsoever that I could ever father a child. The doctor didn’t know whether this had happened because of some childhood disease or if I was born that way. I’m so glad that I'd confided in Brian because if I'd been there on my own I would never have gotten home, Brian had to walk me out to the car because I couldn’t make my legs work on my own. I don’t know why it affected me so much but I guess being told that you could set a new standard for sterility was something no man wants to hear, straight or gay. While I never told your Dad this I’m glad he didn’t offer to father another child. That would have been another slap in the face; irrational as that sounds but I wasn’t thinking too rationally that week.” “While I have to admit that I did think about it a time or two I knew that it was the wrong time to offer and then we moved on with our lives and it never came up again.” “I finally learned my lesson though and I never kept anything of importance from your Dad again. Though I did jump him in the foyer on occasion. Though you might remember the time I did it when you were about 9 or 10 and he'd brought you home for the weekend without letting me know that he was picking you up from school on his way home.” “I bought your explanation that you were practicing for scaring people at Halloween Uncle Justin. I guess it is a good thing that I didn’t dawdle too much getting out of the car that night isn’t it.” “Yes Sunshine it's a good thing that he didn’t dawdle, though I would have paid good money to see you trying to explain why our son saw you deep throating me in the foyer to his mothers. They've always believed that I was the sex maniac in the family, you would've disappointed them so much if Gus had dawdled that day. Though I'm sure that Mel would have figured out some way to blame me for you having my cock down your throat in front of our son.” "Dad do you and Mama have to squabble with each other even when you're not in the same building?" "Yes, Sonnyboy we do. Mel and I'll probably squabble over who gets what rock to sit on in the pits of Hell." “Well Gus I don’t think that my demon is on the same level as your Dad’s demons but there's the story, I would prefer you not use the baby story in your case study though.” “Don’t worry about it Uncle Justin. Though I have to figure out some way to get the images out of my head. I mean my sweet little Uncle Justin manhandling my big macho Dad in the entry foyer is something I really don’t want to think about.” “Gus!” “Sonnyboy!” “Got both of you with one shot.”