When waking up the day after Brian’s arrival, when dressing, when eating breakfast, when seeing Jane and having Gus run out from behind her skirts and into his arms and when he had spent a few minutes with him before going to see the boy’s father. When doing all of this, the last thing Justin had expected was to find himself, less than an hour later naked and practically upside-down, his legs spread open and tied to the arms of the recliner in Brian’s study. He had definitely not been prepared for this particular eventuality when he’d woken up at daybreak.
How he had ended up naked and on his back, practically upside-down, with his knees tied firmly to each arm of the recliner was something of a mystery. Justin had been slightly delirious with pleasure during the procedure and it had taken him a moment to actually notice that each of his knees had been secured tightly, with the soft white length of his and Brian’s cravats, to a very well-made and sturdy piece of furniture which he hadn’t a hope in the world of liberating himself from.
But that was okay too because Brian had his ass in his lap, his hands firmly round his hips and his lips around the base of Justin’s cock. The particulars weren’t necessarily something Justin was too concerned about at the moment… at the moment, in the next few seconds though, now that Justin had been begging for the past ten or twenty minutes, he might possibly be more concerned with those particulars, but at the moment he wasn’t. At the moment his sole concern was breathing which he was having some difficulty with… and his cock which was much too hard and leaking onto his belly (now that Brian had ducked his head lower and was sucking on his balls) and the climax that was just beyond his reach.
What was making Justin slightly apprehensive, was his peculiar impression that maybe, just maybe, Brian was denying him on purpose and for an actual reason. It seemed that having spent the night with Gus after such a long time apart had put Brian in a very good mood… with Gus. With him on the other hand… well, Justin had no idea what he had done to deserve this treatment. But he was quite sure that he wasn’t ‘not’ enjoying it, although he was suspicious that if Brian didn’t let him cum in the next few minutes he would be changing his mind rather swiftly.
So far it was still only an impression of punishment though. He had no proof and Justin felt it wouldn’t be fair to accuse his lover of doing something so iniquitous without the proof to back it up. It was also possible that Justin was rooted happily in denial because as he lay there naked, in his present predicament with his knees tied to that very comfortable recliner in Brian’s study, it occurred to him that he’d been in this position for around half an hour and he was still hard, still making a creamy mess on his belly and he was still reaching for that climax which didn’t seem to be getting any more attainable. Half an hour was a very long time when you were desperate and he was quite sure that Brian was very aware of that fact.
Pleasure was very quickly turning into writhing torture. To himself, Justin could readily admit that it was a very good kind of torture, especially if it was going to be ending really soon. He knew though, that Brian shouldn’t be made aware of this particular detail for it might give the man an inclination to prolong said torture and for that Justin didn’t have the patience or the stamina. He was quite sure, if he didn’t get his satisfaction very soon his head would burst and semen would be leaking out of every available orifice, his balls were that heavy and that full.
The only thing Justin was quite certain about at this particular moment in time, was that he really wanted, needed Brian inside him in some way, the method of which he didn’t much care as long as it was very soon and maybe… more than just one finger… or two… three would definitely be acceptable as a temporary measure.
He lay as still as he could, hoping that his good behaviour might tempt Brian to give him some form of release. His back undulated against the rough material of the chaise as he tried to stop himself from thrusting into the depths of Brian’s throat… and failed. Each time Brian would pull back and look down at him as if to mock him as his tongue gently and uselessly circled and dipped into the slit which bubbled profusely with his pleasure. Brian tormented him and his sex was so painfully hard that its’ lips gaped open, begging and constantly spilling his essence, which Brian happily lapped up, drinking him as Justin begged him for release.
Justin didn’t know that he looked supremely decadent and otherworldly as his pale, milky skin glowed against the contrasting darkness of the fabric that cradled his body.
Brian’s lips were around the head of his cock and his thumb and index finger were making a wonderfully tight ring, which was slowly moving up and down at the base of his shaft. Justin’s legs where beginning to shudder with the stress of his restrained orgasm, his spine was humming and his balls where tightening up and rising… when Brian once again pulled his mouth away. The circle of thumb and finger, sliding to the base of his cock and contracting until his orgasm was but a painful numbing buzz, a reminder of something that might have been.
Justin arched up and fell back in defeat. He had both palms covering his eyes, his breathing was still a chore and his heart was beginning to burn. Thankfully it seemed that this time Brian was planning on giving him a moment to recover after having so abruptly halted his impending climax. This time, Justin actually managed to think words, string them together into coherent sentences, open his mouth and let the sentence trip off his tongue in a babble of impressively inarticulate pleas.
“Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian?”
“Hmmm?” Brian nuzzled under Justin’s balls before taking one into his mouth and making Justin hiss. One couldn’t really be sure whether Brian's reply was an actual reply or whether it was actually just a murmur of appreciation.
“Can we…” Justin gasped then groaned and clenched his eyes tightly shut as Brian pulled away with his lips still sucking on his sack. He spoke as quickly as possible, words stumbling out in the hopes they’d reach the freedom of resonance and be heard before Brian’s next choice of torture and they’d be once again swallowed in moans.
“Is there any chance that sometime in the next few seconds you’ll encounter a particular inclination to force your cock up my ass?” Justin hissed, eyes flashing with frustration.
Brian released Justin from his mouth, glancing up and looking down the length of Justin’s body. His blue eyes were dark with lust and barely visible through the slits of his tiredly drooping eyelids. His hair was dark and streaked with sweat, messy, as it seemed that for lack of anything to touch Justin’s hands had fixated on pulling at his own soft blond locks. He looked ready… well past ready to be honest and Brian’s mouth watered.
“No, not really.” His voice sounded low and husky and as his words rolled breathlessly over Justin’s skin. It shuddered and shivered and the dark, weeping cock bobbed helplessly. Justin groaned again and closed his eyes. His body and cheeks were flushed, he looked feverish and Brian felt satisfied. “You look too pretty.”
Brian sat up. His legs hanging down on either side of the recliner and Justin’s hips and ass were resting mostly on his thighs. He lay his head against Justin’s knee and his hand crept under it and round the outside of his strong, pale thigh until it came to rest on Justin’s equally pale hip. He let the fingers of his other hand trail their way down from the slit at the very tip of Justin's sex, down its’ shaft, over his full, ripe balls, along the sensitive delicate, pink skin of his perineum until they fluttered over the wet, clenching entrance to Justin’s body. He glanced up, quickly to gauge the reaction to his touch. Justin's bottom lip was trapped firmly between his teeth as if that gesture would keep the boy from screaming.
Brian's eyes fluttered back down to where his finger circled the clenching hole, his voice still pitched low on a note that made each hair on Justin’s body rise up in response as he shivered.
“You are so debauched and open for me, waiting for me to feel that particular inclination to stuff my cock up your hot, tight, little hole.” Brian allowed his smallest finger to slip inside and run gently round the inside ring of muscle that guarded Justin’s entrance. It clenched and grabbed at the inadequate intrusion and Justin cried out and his hand reached down to grab desperately at the hand that rested at his hip. Brian allowed him to tangle their fingers together and ground himself that way.
“A shameless wanton, as I expected from the moment I set eyes on you.”
Justin arched his hips up and Brian laughed at him and forced them down again. He removed his finger and then forced his index and middle finger inside, all at once, dry and sharp to make him feel their burning presence. Justin’s eyes began to water and he moaned and shook his head in denial, begging for more.
Brian lent forward as if to tell him a whispered secret. “I'll have you know that it’s occurred to me that I should keep you here.” Justin’s eyes flickered open with renewed interest. “Just as you are, tied up and open all day long. So that while I'm working, if that inclination you mentioned were to make itself felt I would just have to walk over to you, unbuckle my breeches and I could fuck you until I spilt myself into your wet, open hole.” Brian leaned down to lick around the two fingers he had buried in as deep as he could inside of Justin’s rectum then he added his ring finger. Justin hips began to make desperately stuttered thrusts onto his hand as Brian began to massage his prostate and stretched him open.
“I could have you whenever I wanted, my own fuck slave, my personal slut, a glory hole for me to take pleasure in. Your hole would fill up with my seed. Throughout the course of a day I’d fill you up, until you couldn’t keep it all inside and you’d leak, spill over until your entire ass would be covered in my seed and then I’d drink it before bed and leave you here.”
Brian added a fourth finger and Justin's grip on his fingers tightened to bruising and his head started to shake mindlessly as he babbled, an incoherent mess. His white, creamy essence was a constant trickle that pooled on to his stomach and dripped down his sides leaving marked rivulets, which Brian was dying to lick dry.
Brian bent down and fastened his lips around the very tip of Justin's organ. He began to suck up his seed, desperate for a drink of him and rutted against Justin’s ass, trying to seek out some of his own release. He was hard as a rock and couldn’t imagine how painful Justin’s own erection must be by now. He started to move his free hand up Justin’s chest to pinch and pull at the boys’ stiff nipples but Justin pulled him up further until his soft pink lips were fastened round the base of two of Brian’s fingers, his tongue sucked them desperately.
“My dirty little boy. You’d do that for me, wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t complain. You’d like it, love it!” Brian pressed down on Justin’s sweet spot and Justin exploded - down his throat, almost drowning Brian in the flood of hot cum.
Brian stopped all movement as he watched Justin experience his orgasm. His jaw fell open as air rushed out of his lungs, a soundless scream of pleasure. His eyes rolled back into his head as his neck arched back. His muscles spasmed around the four fingers that Brian pressed into his ass and Brian watched the perfect bow of his body as it curved up in taut release. His toes curled and as he fell back down to earth after having been swept over his peak, the breathy moans and the way his tongue licked over his lips made Brian wince and close his eyes as he tried to stop his own cock from shaming him.
He waited until Justin’s breathing was somewhat even before speaking. Assuming that Justin’s powers of, well any of his sense really, were not in full working order.
“Justin?” he curled his hand around one weak knee and stroked his thumb under its bend.
“Hmmm?” Justin’s arms rose and fell behind him. He stretched, each muscle flexing and flaunting as he sighed he deep satisfaction.
“Justin?”
“What?” his eyes fluttered open and looked up at him softly.
“Well,” Brian paused as he thought of how to approach this. “Now that I have you at my mercy there was something I wished to ask of you.” His fingers continued to stroke whatever skin it touched as if to appease a blow that hadn’t yet been made.
“Have I ever denied you, My Lord?” Justin shut his eyes and he shivered as his cooling body began to take notice of the room temperature. “You didn’t have to go through a charade for the sole purpose of having me at your mercy. I am always at your mercy, Brian.” He settled back, shoulders rocking as if to mold the overstuffed chaise to his back. “Fuck me now. I’ll tell you anything you want to hear once I'm not delirious, once I can think… at the moment the only thing I can feel is the absence of you. That you are not inside me right now, splitting me open, filling me, overwhelms me. It makes me miss you.” Justin grinned up at him, fully aware of his elaborate expression.
Brian stared blankly for a second and then began to slowly remove his fingers from inside Justin’s rectum as he spoke, “Well that’s just it. I don’t want you to be able to think.” He said smiling blandly.
Justin’s eyes fluttered open and suddenly fixed themselves on him, suddenly focused and aware that Brian was getting at something important.
There was a moments’ silence as they seemed to measure each other.
“Why was Sebastian here?” Brian held Justin’s gaze.
Justin froze, his whole body tightening, and this time definitely not in pleasure.
“What?” the word left his lungs as if someone had punched him in the gut.
“What was Sebastian, the youngest son of the Earl of Winchester doing here?” Brian articulated carefully.
“You wanted me tired and unable to think to answer that question? Why would you want that?” Justin frowned in confusion and his heart began to speed up in trepidation.
Brian kept silent, watching, as Justin seemed to try and work out the reasons behind Brian’s strange behaviour in his head,
Justin brought his hand down to press against the painful pressure in his chest and tried to draw his knees together. “You… you think I'd lie to you, if I were capable… why would I lie to you? Why do you care if Sebastian was here or not? What do you already think I'm guilty of?” The rush of nervous questions spilt over.
“Justin!” Brian tried soothingly. He hadn’t realised that so many assumptions could be made out of what he had thought was a very simple question… well, he had but he hadn’t expected Justin to become aware of them all so quickly.
Justin tried to sit up but he was still tied down over Brian's thighs. He struggled. “Is that why you’re here?” he gasped out, suddenly fearful.
Brian remained silent.
“Well, is it?” he demanded, voice rising in a panic as he pushed Brian’s hands off him, off his skin. “Did you hear that Sebastian had found a new tasty, willing pound of flesh from which he would be taking his pleasure soon? Is that it? Is that why you came to see me?” he began to kick out with his legs desperately trying to free himself.
Brian didn’t reply but looked at him enquiringly as if he were waiting for the answer to that question. Watching as Justin struggled, as he became vaguely hysterical, his eyes distant with dawning realisation, Brian did nothing to calm him.
“Did you come here to make sure I was still pure for you? That I wasn’t unclean, hadn’t let another man mark me, spend himself inside me?” Justin’s eyes began to water, single tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes that went unnoticed as they spilled over and down his cheeks, the pain an ache that bloomed deep in his chest.
He gasped, Brian’s silence said too much. He sobbed out loud trying desperately once again to pull his legs out of their binds and fighting the shame of being in this position, being so humiliated emotionally, by one he’d thought he could trust.
“Let me go? God, please untie me so I can go.” Alternating through pain and anger, as he begged and raged, “You shouldn’t worry, Brian.” He spat, “You are the only one who I've ever allowed to touch me, in any way. The only one.”
Senses returning he stopped, pulling with his legs and sat up awkwardly trying to undo the knots in a more efficient manner. But his anger made him clumsy and his earlier struggles had tightened his restraints, which only served to make him more incensed.
Brian grabbed his wrists before the Justin managed to do himself any more damage and pushed him back on to the chaise. Justin glared fury at him but followed his silent order assuming that Brian was going to help untie his legs. Brian’s gaze did leave Justin’s face as he glanced down and fingered the reddening skin just above Justin’s knees where the material had rubbed his sensitive skin. But he made no move to loosen the ties, only settling his hands over Justin’s knees, his palms covering them.
“You asked me a question Brian. Answer mine! Did you think I'd let Sebastian fuck me? Did you?” He covered his eyes and took a deep breath as if to try and stop the rising pressure of crying he could feel in his throat.
Managing to collect himself so that mostly only anger laced his tone, “I wouldn’t want to dirty your playground, Brian by letting other little boys play with your toys!” Justin gasped out in weak shock but his words were suitably well aimed to hit their mark. “Untie me! Now, you Bastard!”
Brian’s eyes were wide with shock and the surprise of regret and the sting of… something he’d never felt before, his hands clenched involuntarily around Justin’s legs, “That’s not why…” he began to try and fix some of the damage and pain he’d not really meant to cause.
“Untie me Now, Brian!” Justin hadn’t the patience or desire to sit still and vulnerable while Brian made excuses.
“No!” he spoke softly but firmly.
“How dare you…” his fury swift and easily taking form again.
Brian covered the boy’s mouth with his palm and pushed Justin onto his back. Justin immediately began to struggle against him.
“Be Still!”
Justin stilled, but his dark, glittering eyes said more than enough. His body shook with suppressed pain and grief and anger.
“That is not what… why… when I…” Brian cleared his throat and began again. “I came because I wanted to see you. No such rumours are being spread about in the Ton. I would know if they were, if Sebastian were saying such things, I would know and I would have...” he clenched his fist, a sign of the sort of retribution he would have taken, then shut his eyes briefly and continued, collecting his thoughts. “I hear everything. So don’t worry about your reputation. It is as good as it always has been. Do you understand that?”
He stared down, his gaze unwavering until Justin nodded slowly. But he didn’t seem any less inclined to not leave so Brian didn’t let go of him and continued to explain himself.
“Your mother told me, it was just a passing comment and I got… well, it doesn’t matter.” Justin’s glare told him that in actual fact it really did. Brian ignored it.
“I… I apologise if I caused you any… pain or that I did…” Brian stopped, midway through his half-assed apology and cocked his head. “I’ve asked you before about Sebastian, so I don’t see why you got yourself so worked up this time?”
Justin stared back at him before shutting his eyes tightly and averting them. Brian tensed, the hand that was pressed against Justin’s lips, tightening and almost causing pain.
“Because before when I’ve asked you there was no reason for you to get worked up, was there?” he asked pointedly, his voice low and dangerous.
Justin looked back at him and gave him one slow nod.
A wall came down over Brian’s face and Justin felt the grip on his mouth loosen and then disappear. All anger, all tension suddenly vanished, making Justin even more apprehensive.
Brian shrugged, jaw clenched and smiled coldly, “That’s all I wanted to know. Do you want to fuck now?”
“Brian!” Justin shut his eyes as if in doing so Brian wouldn’t be able to see the hurt that once again welled up in them and tried to sit up again.
“Well, do you?”
“No!” Justin bit out sharply and had to settle for struggling up onto his elbows.
Brian made a move as if to untangle himself from Justin’s body but Justin's arm darted forward and gripped his wrist holding it firmly until the man looked back at him.
“You made me listen to you, now it’s my turn. Sit yourself down and don’t fucking move.” Justin’s voice matched his for conveying impending danger.
“Untie my legs.” The order was obeyed with casual unconcern.
Once they were free, Justin sat keeping tight hold on Brian’s wrist and tilted his chin proudly, refusing to back or run away from the vulnerability that had been forced upon him.
“Of all the methods of interrogation that you have ever used on an enemy, this one’s been the cruellest. I am not your enemy, Brian. I am your lover and you had no right, no right to treat me that way. You have raped…” Justin shook his head then changed the wording, “You have drawn blood of a different sort here. Don’t ever do that again. If you do, it will be the last time you ever touch me.”
There were no questions and Justin didn’t seem to need a show of agreement from Brian so he kept still and kept silent.
“Don’t fuck me and leave me as if I don’t exist for any other reason but your pleasure. Don’t deliberately make me feel and then tear my emotions to shreds, due to unfounded and petty jealousy. It's childish and it doesn’t become you, you, the man I believe you are.”
“Don’t ever think to assume you understand a situation you have no knowledge of, judge me and then leave me after you’ve used me in the most callous, heartless way possible. Don’t discard me as if I were less than nothing for then you shall have nothing. Don’t disrespect me. Don’t treat me as if I were worthless to you, of no importance to you. I don’t believe it and it does nothing but hurt me and make me lose faith in you. The consequences being that the only person to truly lose something here would be you. You’d lose my respect, my love and you would lose me.” Justin spoke fervently not begging, but with quiet, unwavering resolution.
Brian raised a brow, waiting, but Justin stared him down until he nodded, once.
Justin took a deep breath.
“Good! I'm glad we understand each other.” Justin let go of Brian’s wrist and swung his legs off the chaise, standing up shakily and began to gather his clothes and dress himself.
Brian stared down at the dark, red finger marks that stained his wrist. He looked up and watched as dark blue breeches were pulled up over the voluptuous swell of Justin’s ass. “Where are you going?”
“Somewhere, away from you.” Justin didn’t even turn as he spoke.
It went against every one of Brian’s instincts to ask for the clarification he required from that statement.
“I thought…”
“That I'd let you fuck me now that we’ve sorted everything out?” Justin interrupted sharply, a hint of bitterness in his tone as he forced his feet into his boots and bent down to reach for his shirt.
Brian knew better than to even breathe after that mostly rhetorical question. The slightest movement that could be misinterpreted would end this… truce, more surely than anything Brian knew.
Justin pulled the white material over his head and paused briefly, “You have tainted me, Brian. Used me and I… I can't just forget that just because I lectured you and you agreed with me. I am not a parent and you are not a child and I won't forgive and forget as a parent does after a child has misbehaved. That would undermine the importance of what we have and I… I can't see you right now and not hate you a little. So I'm going to go and I… you will give me some time.”
Brian nodded even though Justin's back was to him and he couldn’t see the gesture. Justin’s waistcoat was on and he was struggling with the sleeve of his coat. Hesitantly Brian stepped up behind him and helped straighten the material so that his arm could slide in easily into place. Justin jerked out of his grip.
“Don’t touch me.” Justin’s voice was cold.
Brian drew his hands away and then shook his head and placed them over Justin’s shoulders, gripping them.
“How much time?”
Justin tore out of his grasp and turned to face him, “Until I can look at you without wanting to fucking kill you, Brian.”
Brian folded his arms and bit his lip, “I’ve done wonders for your vocabulary.”
Justin’s eyes narrowed, “Don’t be flip.”
Brian conceded, privately he conceded to Justin’s metaphor too. Justin would make a very good parent, when the time came. “I just need… Justin, how much time?”
Justin sighed, “When you can find me, you may assume that the time is over.” Straightening his collar, he left, the door slamming behind him.
-----
Brian stewed for hours. This was not how he imagined his first few days of country living to be like. The stewing wasn’t something he could altogether resent since it gave him time to better understand Justin’s point of view. Although he wasn’t quite prepared to dismiss his own motivation for his actions, though he lamented the situation they had them led to. He’d had every reason to ask the question he had, he just realised that he could have asked it differently. Actually what he realised was that there was no reason… he’d had no need to interrogate – as Justin had described it. He could have just asked and he could have expected an honest answer.
He couldn’t altogether regret their altercation, in the process of which he had learnt something valuable about his own character and gained quite a bit of insight into Justin’s own. But he did… regret it, that is. Justin was hurting and he couldn’t abide the thought that it was his fault. It irked him that he cared enough to worry about the boy’s emotions but he could hardly help that.
He started looking for him at around four in the afternoon. The reason he used to explain why he was searching was that there was an unsigned document in his office that needed Justin’s most urgent attention. But after about the fourth person he asked he realised he didn’t really need an excuse. He was a really rich Baron and he had no need to explain himself and no one really cared why it was that he had need of Justin. It seemed he had been in London for far too long and his automatic need to have a ready-made excuse at his fingertips was unnecessary.
Halfway through his search he also realised that he found himself searching for Justin on quite a regular basis. Much too often for his peace of mind and for a brief second he contemplated calling a halt to the search. But it seemed that that was a pointless attempt at a sort of freedom he didn’t quite have the need for any longer. So it was discarded rather quickly.
He looked in all the likely places, asked all the people he expected would have any idea where Justin might be or might have gone. His workers didn’t know, neither did his mother. No one had seen him. He wasn’t in his house or with Gus or in the fields. He checked the stables but his mare wasn’t there and Brian’s heart clenched at the mere thought that Justin had wandered off to a distance that required riding.
His deliverance came from an unexpected source. A little girl with messy hair and a crooked petticoat, the hem of which was torn and grass-stained. She crept up behind him as he stroked one of the horses in Justin’s very well stocked stable. He was tense and wary and if he hadn’t taken particular note of how very light the creeping footsteps were he might have reacted in his usual manner, wrist sheath always at the ready. But he heard the soft half-fearful stuttered breaths as they slowly made their way towards him and he couldn’t help the smile that curled at his lips.
He turned quickly and the wide-eyed grinning, shrill shriek that echoed through the stables and tripped into giggling as Molly crumbled on to her knees in breathless, laughing surprise.
“How did you hear me? Justin says I'm like a mouse.” She asked smiling easily as she settled down on to her knees looking up at him as her skirts billowed about her.
Brian allowed himself to have a passing thought for whomever it was that had to clean the child’s clothing and then crouched down to her level.
“No-one has ever managed to sneak up on me. It's a talent of mine.” He shared.
“Really? No-one ever, ever?”
“Nope, no-one ever, ever?”
She smiled, satisfied with the fact that her skills at being mouse-like could hardly be called to question when she had been up against such a worthy adversary and that Justin would obviously continue to be sufficient prey for her at the moment.
He studied her face, making comparisons between herself and the man he searched for. He saw the similarities between their features and was oddly grateful that her hair was a few shades darker than Justin’s perfect blond. He was shaken from his musing as the bubbly voice asked him a question. It made him smile that the little girl was obviously not so intimidated by him and he acquiesced that it was a characteristic she did share with her brother.
“When is Gus coming back? Justin has gone to his special place and I have no-one to play with.”
Brian’s heart skipped a bit with the realisation that he had left a very useful informant untapped while he’d searched. He chided himself at having so easily dismissed a child’s inquisitive eyes.
“His special place? Do you know where that is?”
“Of course not or it wouldn’t be special.” she said simply and Brian had to keep himself from groaning in frustration.
“What about more-or-less? I'm sure such a smart person as yourself noticed what direction he went in.”
She studied him, assessing his worth and Brian felt strangely nervous and quite worried that he wouldn’t pass this little person’s requirements for confidant.
“He always goes towards the Witches’ Woods. I always lose him in the bushes when I try to follow him.” she sighed dejectedly at her failing and Brian had to suppress a grin.
“I thought it wouldn’t be special if anyone else knew where it was?”
“I'm his sister, it doesn’t count.” She stated, quite superior.
Brian stood and held out his hand to help Molly up onto her feet. Her small hand quite easily drowned in his own large palm. “You’re right. Thank you, I shall ask Gus’s nurse to visit with you tomorrow. Would that do for you, My Lady? I would not wish to intrude upon your schedule.”
Her eyes shone at being addressed in such a grown-up fashion and she nodded very seriously and in her most grown-up voice. “It would do very nicely, thank you.”
He bowed and she giggled in delight before making her best curtsy and rushing off without looking back.
Brian followed her until he saw the woods in which they had lost themselves yesterday through the large, open doorway of the stables. He turned and looked about him, seeing two grooms leading two horses back inside from where they had been grazing. He asked to borrow one and as one of the men turned to go and fetch a saddle he reached up and using the horses halter, quite easily swung his leg over the mare’s back. He then told them he’d much rather ride bareback and sent his horse cantering off.
The ride was swiftly over and comfortingly liberating. He managed to manoeuvre through the thickets until he came upon Justin’s mare grazing contentedly. He let his horse loose and ducked in under low, hanging branches until he found Justin’s clearing.
Justin sat with his back to him, arms wrapped around his knees, dressed only in his shirt and breeches. It was warm and he had taken off his boots and waistcoat, they were in a haphazard pile which Brian passed as he approached him. He paused by the heap and took off his own dark green tails and waistcoat off he was too hot.
“I'm glad I found you.” Brian stated hesitantly, quite out of his depths and quite unaccustomed to feeling so.
“What made you made you finally realise to look here?” Justin's voice sounded clearly from where he sat though he didn’t turn to face Brian.
“What makes you think this wasn’t the first place I came to?”
Justin glanced over his shoulder with an arched brow.
“I… can not reveal my source. There was an exchange of information and… a deal was struck and she must remain anonymous.” Brian stated in wry humour.
Justin smiled reluctantly and snorted, “My sister has that affect on people. How did she know where I was?”
“Well, when she follows you she usually loses you in amongst the low bushes in these woods. I imagine she is no match for your longer stride and that her skirts get tangled rather quickly in the thickets.” As he spoke Brian slowly sat down beside Justin, being mindful that any sudden movement would startle a wild animal – his wild animal, and tempt Justin to run, “I remembered that you told me you come here to lose yourself.”
“Do you also remember that I said I'd never hide from you? You made me want to hide, Brian.” Justin admonished a quiet, confused voice as he stared down at his fingers.
Brian shut his eyes in remorse. “I remember.” It seemed that the feeling that crept into his tone was enough of an apology for now.
Justin sat up and crossed his legs, resting his elbows on his knees and staring ahead of him. “What on earth made you even think that I'd ever consider Sebastian’s offer?” he finally ventured. “Made you automatically assume I would have accepted Sebastian’s proposition.” He half stated, half asked in a mostly annoyed tone.
Brian kept silent; realising there was really no safe way of replying to that question. But then decided to brave asking a question of his own. “What was his proposition?” soft voice, eyes shut and body tense.
Justin turned and fixed his eyes on him. “He offered, I declined.” He said simply, firmly.
Brian seemed to relax and Justin, studying his lover’s face and began to forgive, “What made you so sure he’d even made an offer?” he asked probingly, “And you kept asking me. Why did you know so surely that he had made one even before he even had? Why? Did you doubt me?”
“He wanted you.” Brian stated simply.
“You could have misconstrued, could have…”
“But I didn’t, so that line of questioning is moot.” Brian interrupted him and then winced with regret at his overly sharp tone. He took a deep breath “Could you… explain to me what happened with Sebastian while he was here.”
“Why do need to know?” Justin asked curiously.
“I just need to know?” Brian fired back, his need quite evident.
Justin studied him and assented, “He rode in two weeks or so after I had left London. Said that he had ridden up with some friends because there was one of those resplendent balls in some large house nearby in a few days and that he’d come early to see if he could visit for a day or two. I warned him I was busy but he’d come all the way from London to see me and I’ve never had a friend go to those extents…” Justin frowned, then rolled his eyes, slightly amused at himself, “I never needed that, all my friends were down the road. I was so foolish, so utterly shocked when he… he kissed me. I’d had no idea that he wanted me. It never even occurred to me. I thought he knew, knew I was with you.”
Brian was somehow enduring the story, in a perverse sort of way and if it hadn’t been for that brief moment when the word “kiss” had been uttered Brian would not have been as tense as he was. But he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at Justin’s last comment.
“You didn’t know that he wanted you? How could you not know, Justin? I met the boy for five minutes, once, and I knew.”
Justin looked up at him wide-eyed and apologetically innocent-looking, “We were just friends. After the first time I thought he understood that I was with you.”
Brian tensed once more, “What do you mean? What first time? This wasn’t the first time?”
Justin blushed, “Well… I… before we became friends, umm… he touched me while we were in the steam rooms at the club and offered to introduce me to pleasure…” Justin frowned and shrugged, “or something along those lines. I realised what he meant after a moment and I stepped away and told him that actually, someone had already had the joy of introducing me to pleasure and I had no need of another. He seemed to understand and we became friends. I didn’t know anyone and definitely no-one who… who was like us. And then when he met you that time, when I was holding my sword to Craven’s throat…”
“I remember, Justin.” Brian couldn’t even stay annoyed at Justin’s so obvious oblivion.
“Well when he saw us, I thought he understood that we were… that I was with you.” Justin clarified quickly.
Brian snorted, “Of course he understood. It's why he waited until you had left, until you were far away from me, here in the country, to make the next move.”
Justin’s eyes widened, “But why would he think I’d say yes?” he asked quite bewildered and Brian felt the urge to kiss him… but managed to restrain himself, smiling wryly.
“I'm older than you Justin and richer and titled.” Brian said simply then glanced down into very confused eyes.
“So? What does that have to do with anything?” he blinked suddenly, realisation dawning on him the moment after he had spoken and then wrinkled his nose in horror, “He thought I was with you for your money? Why on earth would he think that? I would never… how dare he…! Does it even look like I needed the money?”
“You were dressed well, you live next-door to me in the country. If that doesn’t scream mistress nothing does.” Brian explained.
“With my mother?” Justin stated in half disgust, half amusement with wide-eyed horror in the mix. “And in an enormous estate, with a lot of land.”
He snorted and crossed his arms, eyes taking on an air of cynicism which Brian had never seen before. “You would never be that extravagant with a mistress. A small cottage would have sufficed.”
“You would be satisfied to live in a small cottage at my beck and call, whenever I happen to remember you and come to call?” Brian asked, very amused.
Justin hit his chest with the back of his hand and Brian grabbed onto it and held it tight. Justin looked up at him grinning and then the laughter was replaced with a soft look as Brian drew him in close and their lips met briefly, tongues dipping in to taste, as if to remind them that they had not lost the flavour of the other. Justin sighed and let himself relax onto Brian’s chest. Brian held him close.
Justin pulled back and studied him again, assessing before smiling shyly and making Brian’s eyebrow rise in question.
Justin shook his head at the absurdity of it all, “As if I needed an incentive to be with you, to stay with you. Look at you!”
Brian didn’t return the smile but looked thoughtful for a moment before hesitantly asking, “Don’t you? …Sometimes?”
“Sometimes, what?”
“Need an incentive?”
“Loving you is an incentive and really good… uh we… and you, together, we… we are really good together.” Justin finished stumbling over his words
“Good at what?” Brian asked frowning and then noticing Justin’s blush laughed, shaking his head, “I give you pleasure?” he asked pointedly.
Justin nodded, his cheeks still flushed and his eyes embarrassed.
“I satisfy you?”
“Yes!” Justin replied.
“Make you tremble with want and need. Make you hard, make you throb, make you…” Justin tackled him.
“God yes, alright, enough.” Justin stated as he straddled Brian’s thighs.
Brian lay on his back, looking up at him and biting his tongue. The brief silence, making it seem for a moment as is he were going to obey Justin’s will then grinned and asked, “So you meant sex? Rutting? Fucking? Mating?”
Justin flushed and hit his chest again looking slightly self-conscious. He slid off Brian’s body and Brian sat up to stroke his back.
“I forget sometimes that you are so young, naïve, inexperienced.” Brian spoke softly, thoughtfully, as if remembering again.
Justin turned his head quickly to look at him, “I am not inexperienced.”
“Well, you were before you met me.” Brian pointed out and Justin rolled his eyes in agreement. He could hardly disagree, could he?
He lay back onto Brian’s chest and let him stroke for a moment as they sat quietly listening to their surroundings and letting the rise and fall of their chests keep time.
“You have the tendency to take what I say much too seriously, jump to conclusions without letting me finish. You… you have to stop doing that.” Brian spoke softly.
Justin sat up slightly taken aback by Brian’s pronouncement. He cocked his head amused and replied along the same lines.
“Well then, you have a tendency to be too blunt. You want me to jump to those conclusions you provoke. It’s your way of forcing a reaction out of someone, so that it’ll tell you something about their character.”
Brian looked annoyed for a moment at having been so thoroughly worked out, then bit his lip and nodded. Justin knelt up and shuffled forwards until his palm rested on Brian’s chest. Brian looked up at him and Justin continued uncertainly.
“Every time you need something from me you try and put me in the most terribly vulnerable and submissive position you can so that asking something of me is less of a chore for you. It's selfish and it hurts me when you do that. That you don’t trust me enough to tell you without being coerced into it.”
Brian’s jaw tensed and his nostrils flared. He reminded Justin of a stallion quickly judging a person’s merit by sniffing their palm.
Brian finally spoke after a long tense silence, which had Justin fidgeting and nervous.
“All right.”
Justin sighed satisfied… for a brief moment before frowning, “I'm still not sure you understand…”
Brian interrupted, “I think that today - my lack of understanding has had enough attention. We can stop talking about it now.”
“But…”
“You think I don’t understand why people could want you, Justin?” he fired out, tense and irritated.
Justin studied his face and smiled sadly, finally seeming to relax his posture somewhat. “Uh… No, actually I think you don’t understand why I'd have any reason to say no, if someone ever made me such an offer.”
Brian seemed to freeze briefly, “What?” he finally asked puzzled.
“You don’t understand why I said no.” Justin repeated.
“Why did you actually decline, Justin? It was probably a tempting offer?” Brian asked. He avoided making eye contact with Justin as if that would help confirm the flippancy with which the remark was carefully, casually uttered.
“Why?” Justin repeated in confusion, “Don’t you know, Brian that I love you? I’ve told you that before. Why would I have said yes, if I love you? Don’t you know what loving you means to me?”
Brian stayed silent.
“You don… you don’t know?” Justin blinked, then sat back on his heels.
“Loving you means… it means that I dream of you, even when you’re lying, sleeping beside me. It means that when I see you, even if we’re fighting, or you’ve done something to make me angry, or hurt me, or anything really, I still… I still feel my heart jump a little because I’m always glad that you’re with me even though my head may not be. It means that when you look at me you make things better just by being there. It means that when you’re not with me, even though that in itself makes me feel empty and broken, just thinking of you makes everything better. It means…”
“I understand now. So you don’t need to keep talking.”
“Well, I was hoping that I’d have to stop once you’d kissed me.”
“I didn’t know if you’d…?”
“Let you? I find it very hard to resist you, My Lord.”
Justin stayed back, made Brian reach for him. Grab on to the front of his shirt and tug him forwards until their mouths met. Justin let Brian explore his mouth; passively waiting for his own desires to rise in him, until his head fell back into Brian’s palm as he cradled Justin to his mouth.
Justin pulled back suddenly as if wondering whether he had caused Brian enough torment, or whether he had given in too quickly and hadn’t really made sure that Brian understood, yet again.
“I didn’t get angry because of the question, Brian. The change in circumstances wasn’t what made me react in that way. Sebastian doesn’t have the power to affect me in that way, to those degrees.”
Brian looked back at him and finally questioned, “What did?”
“It's not what you asked, it's how you asked it. Do you know how demeaning it is to allow someone to manipulate your body, to let them inside, to touch you, to love you only to find there was an ulterior motive. I let you tie me up. I let you make me helpless and I trusted you to make me love it. You took advantage of my trust. You used me. Do you know what that feels like?” Justin asked rhetorically
“No!”
“I… what?” Justin blinked slowly, confused.
“No, I don’t know what that feels like.” Brian clarified.
“Why ever not?”
“Why don’t I know what it feels to let someone inside or why don’t I know what love feels like?”
“Both! Either!”
“I refuse to be put in a weaker position and I refuse to…”
“What? You refuse to feel?” he said in utter, open-mouthed, almost scorn. Justin couldn’t really understand how a man could think such a thing. How anyone had let him go on thinking it for so long, without correcting him.
Brian stayed stoically silent.
“Brian, you can't just refuse to feel. Emotions aren’t something you can control.”
“I can do anything.”
“Because you’re rich? Because you’re titled? Because you’re powerful? I'm sorry to inform you, My Lord that feelings are a plight that affect every person in all walks of life and it doesn’t matter if you are King or pauper, they can and will beggar any one of us, with no concerns for the consequences.”
“Justin.”
“No! No.” Justin denied adamantly, “Tell me, do you think I am weak because I let you fuck me? Four months ago was I stronger than I am now? Just because I’ve had your cock up my ass am I less then what I was before?”
“No, you are…”
“I have seen more, felt more, I have more to gain, more to lose. Only more, Brian for knowing you, for loving you, nothing less.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Why are you sorry, Brian? I am not sorry.” Justin breathed in surprise. “Brian I like having you inside of me. I like it when you make me desperate for you, make it so that the only thing I can think of is you, just you and I'm so consumed and surrounded by you that I feel that I would burst. But Brian, having you in me doesn’t make me submissive to you every time we make love.”
Brian didn’t reply to that either. Justin crossed his arms, frustrated.
“For someone’s who’s so experienced you don’t know very much, Brian.” He assured, boldly.
“This is different.” Brian stated quite simply.
Justin stared at him feeling some relief but quite sure that Brian still wasn’t on the same plane of understanding as he. He knelt facing Brian, who was still seated on the grass looking back at him, resolutely calm, with his long legs stretched out before him. He chewed distractedly on his thumb until suddenly his gaze sharpened and focused on Brian’s hips. It made Brian nervous.
As did the sudden removal of Justin’s loose, linen shirt and the unfastening of Justin’s breeches so that they hung open, the dark blond hair above his sex displayed licentiously. Brian felt himself harden and he glanced up to see Justin staring at him intently and as he began to crawl over to him, his heartbeat definitely sped up.
As Justin’s hands curled round the heel of each of his boots, tugged until they came off and then tossed them aside, swiftly followed by Brian’s breeches, Brian finally spoke, “Justin, what are you doing?”
“Showing you.” Justin threw one leg over Brian’s thighs and crawled up, pushing Brian on to his back and untucking his shirt on the way up.
“Showing me what, Justin?”
“Lift.”
It seemed that Justin wouldn’t deign to reply to Brian’s question although Brian found it in himself to allow the boy to take off his shirt.
Justin froze above him, looking down at him while his shirt gathered around his wrists, which Justin had pinned above his head. He lowered his head, mouth hovering over his lips and dark blue eyes flickering over every inch of his face. Just as Brian felt Justin almost kiss his mouth, the soft pink lips diverted and brushed along his cheekbone. He tilted his chin up trying to capture Justin’s elusive mouth, to no avail.
“Justin?” Brian tried to untangle his hands from the material of his shirt but Justin’s hands tightened until he stopped then softly stroked down, over the underside of his forearms until fingers circled around his biceps.
“Don’t do anything unless I tell you to, Brian.” He shuffled his hips down until he had aligned their cocks.
Brian pressed his hips into him as if to test Justin sincerity but since his gaze didn’t waver he settled down and forced himself to relax. Justin grinned then met his mouth in reward.
As their lips parted minutes later, Justin stood. His cock rose full and erect framed by his open breeches and Brian’s hands jerked up to pull them down before he remembered he wasn’t supposed to move and he stilled.
Justin smiled at the concession then grinned. “Pull them off!” he ordered huskily.
Brian glared at him, but decided that in this case doing as he was told could only benefit him in the long run.
When his breeches were off Justin turned, his back to Brian’s face and he knelt, his hot mouth hovering over Brian’s hard prick. He sucked the length into his mouth, eagerly. He hadn’t tasted Brian’s seed in so long and he had missed it.
Brian restrained himself as long as he could before grabbing hold of Justin’s hips and lowering him until his hole hovered over his mouth. He buried his tongue inside and Justin cried out, Brian's cock falling out of his mouth as he arched into the wet heat that licked him inside.
When he remembered he was supposed to be in charge Justin pulled away regretfully, quickly sucking one last time on Brian’s cock, leaving it slick and wet. He turned once more until his knees were once again on their respective sides and Brian’s mouth was within easy reach.
He reached behind himself and aimed Brian’s hard prick into the indentation between his ass cheeks. Feeling it pressing into position, Justin lowered himself, gasping until Brian was buried deep inside him.
The curve of Justin’s ass settled down firmly against Brian’s pelvis, Justin’s back arching as his palms pressed down into Brian’s chest. His head hung down weakly as he tried to register all of the battling sensations that fought within him. Eyes closed, he mewled prettily, the feeling of taking Brian in so deep and barely prepared, making him lose all sense of reality for a moment. His eyes fluttered open and raked over Brian’s face, they were so very dark, so dilated, so unseeing.
He smiled softly as if the only thing he needed in the world for comfort was Brian’s cock inside him and his eyes suddenly cleared and looked down into Brian as if seeing him for the first time. Justin began to rock his hips, gently and clenched his muscles around Brian’s length as if to test his reaction. Brian groaned and his hands darted to clutch at Justin’s slim waist.
Justin smiled and stopped. Slowly leaning forward until his cock was pressed between their abdomens and his mouth sucked at Brian’s earlobe.
“You are right, Brian, this is different.” His low, whispered words made Brian shiver.
“I love you. Love letting you cum inside me.” Justin’s voice got stronger as he knelt up again, rocking back onto Brian’s hard cock, gasping out every time Brian touched an especially sensitive place inside of him.
“It’s a gift not a sacrifice. Its’ not surrender or submission, it doesn’t make me weak or vulnerable. I don’t do it because you’re bigger or stronger or older or wiser. I do it because I love having you there, having you right where you are! Right! Now! As deep inside my body as it’s possible for anyone to be. Whether it’s your cock or your fingers or your tongue - in my mouth, up my ass it doesn’t matter as long as it’s you.”
Brian shuddered and tried to thrust his hips up but Justin pinned him down to firmly.
Justin raised himself slowly, allowing Brian to leave his hot, tight channel, “Feeling you move inside of me, Brian.” He gasped, dropping back down and burying Brian inside him again, “Knowing that you’re hard because you feel my muscles tighten around you,” He clenched his ass and thrilled at Brian’s arching back and gasping groan. He began to set a deep, slow pace as he rose and then lowered himself, using his hands on Brian’s chest to help him and Brian’s hands on his hips to guide him.
“Feel the heat of my body warming for you. Feel me breathing just for you. Do you feel that Brian?”
Brian groaned and he reached up, his hand curling tight around Justin’s neck and forcing him down so that he could suck on his tongue. Justin gasped and smiled, allowing it, burying his fingers in Brian’s hair and pulling desperately as his hips kept their pace, his body undulating as he took and took Brian into his body.
He reared up again and pulled his ass up so that only the head of Brian’s cock was enveloped in the heat of his muscles. He hovered there waiting until Brian begged for him. It didn’t take long; Brian was unused to being denied.
“Justin, come here.”
Brian’s fingers grappled with his hips in vain. He bent his knees up so that his feet were flat on the ground and thrust up. The same moment when Justin lowered himself and they both cried out and began to rock in tandem, settling into their easy, practised rhythm as if they’d never stopped.
The low murmur of whispered words never stopped. They were half of Brian’s torture, the other half, Justin’s clenching muscles and thighs that raised and lowered himself onto Brian’s cock. That ass would be his death and for the first time, Brian begged and babbled incoherently and warred within himself in an attempt to be quiet and listen to Justin’s seductive voice or cry out and drown out the sound of his torment.
“Brian, right now you’re inside of me because I allow it, I'm the one in control. I'm the one that makes you moan at my will. Shudder as I bury you in me, groan as I hold you and make you beg for my mouth. You thrust into me at the rhythm I make, you’re breathing at the pace that I have set. And even though you tell yourself that my words are driving you crazy, each one brings you nearer to the climax I am riding you to.”
“You are submissive, to me, you’re at my mercy and that’s okay because you know I love you. That I’d never hurt you, that I want your pleasure, your satisfaction. Because you trust me.”
“Do… do you…?” Brian gasped out and Justin couldn’t help but kiss him firmly in answer.
“Trust you? Yes, God, Brian with my life!” he stroked across Brian’s cheek with his thumb and missed him, even though he was under him, with him, in him.
He began riding in earnest now. Body clenching, lungs gasping and making sure that Brian hit him in that place, each time he lowered himself. Justin fucked himself on Brian’s cock, relentlessly, desperately. Wanted to bruise, wanted to bleed, wanted to feel it forever.
Their mouths locked together and they both moaned as they rocked into each other. Justin balanced himself, his arm stretched forwards and braced on the ground besides Brian’s head. He pushed himself back into every driving force as Brian repeatedly thrust into him. When Brian hammered into his prostate Justin tore up fistfuls of grass as he shuddered through his pleasure.
One of Brian’s hands clenched Justin’s hip so hard he left bruises. His other arm circled his waist as he forced Justin down into every one of his upward thrusts, every moment of intense sensation cartwheeling them ever closer into a never-ending spiral of pleasure.
They breathed, breathless into each other’s mouths and Justin clenched his eyes shut as he felt his mind start to shatter. He froze, groaning and cursing at his own strength of will and the strength of his thighs. And for a brief second he let their heart rates slow down and their bodies absorb the sensations that they had been too busy rushing past to truly feel.
Brian groaned and tore at his lips, sucking insistently on his tongue until Justin pulled away, scattering kisses along Brian’s cheek and beginning a slow, steady, surging roll of hips that left Brian buried deep, always inside, stroking every nerve in his body.
“I do this to you Brian. Me! By years’ end I'll already have convinced you to let me bury myself in your own sweet depth. And you’ll beg me for it. Just as I beg you.”
Brian came, crying out as Justin clenched and released his cock urgently, using his inner muscles. His parting, wanton words whispered in his ear, taunting him and making his body clench and pulse.
Brian’s seed surged into him and his own quickly followed, splashing out of his jerking cock and flooding over Brian’s chest and belly, marking him in Justin’s scent and then pasting them together as Justin collapsed onto Brian’s heaving chest.