Thank you to my Beta Big J Authors Note: I have exams coming up so Im not sure how often il update in the next 2 weeks or so.. Hope u all enjoy.. Comments r loved. ******* Justin lay awake for some time on the morning after his first kiss. Not his first, first kiss but the first kiss that had made him feel something. The first kiss that had made his body ache, the first kiss, which had affected him to such an extent that sleep was a near impossibility all night long. The first time he had been kissed by a man, the first time he kissed him back. The first time that he doesn’t know what to do and he is so confused and afraid and he has no one to speak to. Wishing that Uncle Joseph was still alive so that he could curl up in his arms and cry like a child knowing he is safe from anything that could possibly harm him. Safe in his uncle’s library, in his haven, just as safe as he was when he was thirteen and needed a father who was replaced by an uncle who explained what was happening to his maturing body in terms of biology and anatomy books. There is no one here to explain the reaction he has to Brian. He lay still, eyes staring but unseeing out the window. He made sure every night now that the curtains weren’t shut so that the sun would wake him as it rose and so that he could stand at his window and watch the streets of London come to life. Justin liked to be dressed and ready for the moment when Gus needed his attention but this morning he found himself slacking. It took a while for him to realise that Gus was awake. Gus, obviously having become accustomed to his surroundings was playing quietly, keeping himself amused in the comfort of his own crib instead of crying out to make people aware of his wakeful state. Justin got up and went about getting Gus and himself ready for the day. It was slow work hindered by the dread, which had been mounting in his chest all night. He frowned, hating that for the first time in his life discovering something new had not satisfied him. Instead he felt a strange mixture of restlessness, anxiety and anticipation. And he still didn’t know what to do. He had arrived early on a Tuesday morning, fallen ill that same evening, gotten out of bed on a Friday, been flirted with all week and finally kissed yesterday, Thursday. How could this Friday and last Friday have so little in common? Justin sighed and picked Gus up. He took Gus down for his breakfast and handed him over to Jane. He approached the dining room slowly and pushed open the door tentatively. When he saw that the room was empty his disappointment surprised him. He picked a plate up and served himself briskly from the dishes being kept warm on the sideboard. He took his time eating, contemplating his options. He knew that he should have packed his bags and left immediately. But he couldn’t bring himself to do that. He couldn’t lie to himself by trying to convince himself that he wasn’t curious or interested in the emotions that welled up in him when he was faced with that man. So running away was not an option he concluded. He still had things to do in London, errands to run and he would not let himself be chased away after a simple kiss. He had to do what was in his heart and even though the only thing he knew his heart was certain of at this moment was his need for a new wardrobe - the clothing he had was not sufficient - he wouldn’t let a little thing like fear drive him away. Having made up his mind and finished his breakfast he got up and opened the door so that he could retrieve Gus. He wanted to spend his morning, as was usual with the baby and then the afternoon could be spent getting clothes fitted. And if this particular arrangement of his schedule meant that he could avoid Brian… well he hadn’t made it that way on purpose. He wasn’t paying attention and his heart almost stopped in his chest when he nearly crashed into Brian on his way to the stairway. Brian’s hands encircled his arms to steady him and he knew that his surprise must have registered on his face, “I… forgive me I was not looking where I was going.” Justin spoke and in his daze he didn’t even remember to be upset that his plan at avoiding Brian had failed so dismally. “I am going out today. I will not be back till very late.” Brian informed him briskly as Jenkins approached with his hat and coat. “So I shall not see you this afternoon as usual?” Justin said impressing himself with his steady voice and at the same time annoyed that his careful plan to not avoid Brian was already useless. Brian’s eyebrow went up and he studied Justin closely. He had been expecting some stammering after last night or at the very least a pretty blush. “No, I have business to attend to.” He said lightly eyeing Justin almost daring him to have a reaction. Justin’s gaze did not falter and he tilted his chin up in that way that Brian quickly recognised as a habit he had. Whenever he was proud, certain that he was right about something or when he was being stubborn or challenged in some way he would tilt his chin up just so. Brian ducked his head and put his hat on in an attempt to hide his grin. He was not surprised that Justin had chosen to stay. He was definitely thrilled and he looked forward to the challenge that Justin presented. “I shall be going out then. There are some errands I must attend to.” Justin decided to state just in case Brian had expected him to sit in his house eagerly awaiting his return – he wouldn’t be that person. “Is there anything that you think I could help you with?” Brian offered. “I…” Justin thought about it and realised he really did not want to go to his father’s tailor. “If you have the name of a good tailor I would greatly appreciate the referral.” “If you can wait two days I shall take you to mine.” Justin blushed and Brian smirked happy that he had finally succeeded at triggering some sort of a reaction. “I can wait.” Justin decided “I shall see you tomorrow then.” Brian acknowledged as he turned to leave. “Tomorrow.” Justin’s eyes followed Brian as he strode down the front steps into his carriage until the front door shut. He sighed and continued on his way upstairs. ------- Justin went to pick up his letters from Mr. Philips, his solicitor. Hopefully by now his mother would have received his letter with Lord Talbot’s address. He disliked having to continue making his way to this part of London. He hated that by associating himself with these people his father could find out where he was. It was one of the reasons he didn’t want to use that tailor. He knew that it would be the easiest way for his father to find him. At least Mr. Philips wouldn’t go out of his way to inform Craig Taylor of his whereabouts. He new that Justin would be his employer soon and that in ten or twenty years he would have to please him and not his father. He wandered around the city for a while coming across a beautiful doll he could get for Molly next time he was in this part of town and a squalid little shop where he bought for himself a few essentials for him to draw with. If he remained here any longer he would have to buy some paints. But those would only be needed if he stayed. Justin frowned; puzzled with the track his thoughts were taking - as if he were planning to stay here for very much longer. He shrugged to himself and pushed those thoughts aside, unwilling to allow himself to spoil such a beautiful day. He didn’t have Gus with him so he decided to go sit in the park and watch the people go by and see if he found anyone interesting enough to catch on paper. The rest of the day and evening passed in much the same way. Once evening began to draw near he walked back towards Brian’s town house for dinner. After he had eaten he found himself rather bored so he retired for the night and sat till late, perfecting the drawings he had made while he was at the park until he was satisfied with them. He was asleep by the time Brian arrived home again. ------- It was Saturday afternoon before Justin caught sight of Brian again. Having finished lunch he was playing with Gus hoping to tire him out enough so that he would fall to sleep easier for his nap. After having played with his blocks Gus walked towards Justin clumsily and fell in to his lap. Justin picked up one of the children’s books and began reading to him. After a moment he sensed that he was being watched, a shiver running down his spine and he looked up to see Brian watching him. He didn’t stop reading for Gus was on the verge of sleep and he knew that if he stopped now Gus would make a fuss until he cried himself into exhaustion. Brian lent against the doorframe of his son’s nursery watching Justin closely as he read. Every once in a while Justin’s gaze would flicker up and make contact with his own, maintaining it until he had to look back down at the pages. When he finished his voice trailed off, Gus was sleeping but he made no move to put him to bed. Instead he looked at Brian through his eyelashes in that way, which made Brian need to think about cold water in order to stop his cock from hardening. Finally he made his move crouching down by him and taking Gus out of his arms to lay him in his cot. Standing, Brian looked down at Justin who hadn’t stirred. He was looking at him expectantly but Brian was cautious of voicing his needs in this room, unwilling to risk waking the baby. He made a movement with his head and turned to walk out holding the door open for Justin who stood up and followed him. “There is something I must show you in my study.” He said clearly “I must fetch Jane to come and sit near so that she can watch Gus.” Brian nodded his agreement and they both turned and headed down the stairs. ------- Justin entered Brian’s study and approached the desk so as to be able to see the plans that Brian wanted to show him. Jane was watching Gus and his own heart was beating rapidly at the thought that he would be alone in Brian’s presence. It was dark outside and all the lights were lit even though it was barely five o’clock in the evening. Without looking up from the papers on his desk Brian waved his hand to express his wish for Justin to stand beside his chair so that he could see everything the right way up, instead of upside down, as he would if he had been standing across from him. Justin hesitated, wondering what such close proximity would do to his senses but he found that he could not resist the casual command. So he walked round the large desk until he was standing on Brian’s right side. His desk was littered with files, letters and scraps of half-filled pieces of papers on top of which Brian had laid out a large plan of their estates and the surrounding countryside. Justin was immediately intrigued and he lent forward to peer at it. For the first twenty minutes or so Justin listened avidly as Brian explained an idea he had. But it was after the moment that Brian reached across him to retrieve some vital piece of paper that Justin knew he wouldn’t be concentrating again any time soon. As Brian’s arm pressed against his waist Justin noted his scent. He noticed the lashes that framed his hazel eyes and he noticed his own breathing speed up. As Brian drew back his hand carelessly brushed across his crotch, his heart stopped. Brian continued his explanation and Justin was ashamed by his utter inability to keep his attention from drifting. He was too distracted by the smell, the texture of his hands as they gestured and indicated to him places of particular interest on the map, his voice as he smoothly described his plans for expansion. In an attempt to focus Justin closed his eyes and counted to ten. When he opened them again he was determined that he would concentrate intensely on whatever his eyes alighted on in an attempt to engross himself in something other than Brian. But he had miscalculated, his gaze landed on a pile of letters held down and half covered by an inkwell. This particular one was written in a round oval hand different to Brian’s which he could see examples of everywhere. The placing of each individual word within the text was strange but he could not pin-point in what way it stood out. He cocked his head to one side and as he stared intently, his eyes glazed and his mind wandered in that familiar way he had when he was working on one of his uncle’s particular challenges. Brian interrupted his thoughts, his frustration evident in the tone of his voice, “Justin! Justin! Eistigi liom! (listen to me!) Listen to me Justin. Are you listening to me?” Brian had noticed that Justin hadn’t been concentrating and he watched as Justin shook himself free of his distraction but instead of returning his attention to the matter at hand he reached out and removed a letter from the pile held down by an inkwell. Brian lent his head back in his chair and studied Justin who in turn had his whole attention riveted on the piece of paper. He watched as Justin’s eyes flickered swiftly backwards and forwards on the page as he mumbled under his breath and his forehead creased in consternation. Finally he looked up and their eyes met. Justin’s satisfied smile was clear and Brian raised a questioning eyebrow wondering what could be so interesting that would distract the boy from business and obviously breach all manner of privacy by reading his correspondence. “There is a cipher in this letter.” Justin stated triumphantly. Brian tensed and sat up rapidly, his gaze never wavering and allowing Justin to continue. “See it is… I can see the pattern. It is well hidden.” Justin asserted, satisfied and quite prepared to return to business now that he had solved his puzzle. Brian examined the piece of paper held out in front of him. It was one of a pile of letters that he had picked up on his last trip to the club. They had been left to him because they were the last package that Freddie Cullingham had sent from Paris before he had been discovered and he thought that there might be something of interest hidden within them. After all, Freddie had gone missing a short time after the letters were dated. They had been passed to him by one of his superiors. He had examined them briefly but he hadn’t seen any of the usual patterns, which indicated coding. They seemed like simple, very dull romantic letters between clandestine lovers. When Freddie woke up Brian had already been planning on lecturing him for using the clubs resources to aid in his Parisian dalliances and seductions. “How? Show it to me.” Brian demanded and immediately regretted it; quite sure that Justin would take umbrage at the order. But Justin seemed quite happy to demonstrate his intelligence with that child-like exuberance one had when one knew ones elders would praise and admire your accomplishment. “It is quite easy once you’ve found it and if you understand simple mathematics. It's clever they have mixed the polyalphabetic substitution cipher with a… here I’ll show you.” Justin lent forward and placed the piece of paper in front of them so that they could both see. He snagged a blank sheet and dipped a quill in ink. “See here at the top it is addressed to Maria DelGADo. Do you see these three letters,” he asked pointing to the ‘gad’ in Delgado, “They’re capitals, which I found strange - in the middle of a name. I thought for a moment that Beaufort was being used but I couldn’t see how, there are too many… it just didn’t work but if you take the ‘GAD’ and use it in… it’s the key and using the Vigenere table you can.” Brian’s eyes widened as Justin continued his explanation, understanding very little of what was being said. Finally Justin trailed off and began to quickly write out a large table of letters in a small neat hand. Brian decided there was no need for him to understand the method as long as he got the results and as Justin began to quickly decode the message he was satisfied. His heart began to race as he saw the underlying message hidden within. This would help him enormously in the discovery of his leak for he knew that unless the King was sabotaging his own reign one of the Loyal Four must have switched their allegiance. “Justin. Stop!” Justin turned to look at him over his shoulder without moving from his position, bent over his desk with his weight on one arm so that he could continue to write. Justin studied him and when he realised that he was quite serious he straightened up with a curious smile on his face and his brow furrowed, “What? Why?” Brian looked at him, really looked at him. Justin, standing straight with his chin tilted upwards, pride tracing his features, his eyes glowing with the joy of success and exhilaration and his forehead lined with curiosity. He looked beautiful and tempting and for one second Brian’s mind went utterly blank. He reached over and grabbed his shirt pulling him towards him so suddenly that Justin fell onto his lap with a gasp of shock. Justin’s arms wrapped around Brian’s neck automatically to keep himself from falling backwards and he froze. Their gaze met and neither one of them seemed to be willing to break the connection. Justin closed his eyes in an effort to deny the tension that was building between them but simultaneously he hauled Brian’s head down with his arms and raised himself to meet his lips. Justin moaned deep in his throat as the hot heat of Brian’s mouth enveloped him. Brian captured his lower lip between his teeth and tugged at it gently, softening the sting with his tongue as he lazily brushed it back and forth between them until Justin allowed him complete access to his mouth. Meeting him tentatively Justin explored the newfound flavour until Brian gently latched onto his tongue and sucked it in to his mouth. Justin whimpered and pulled at the hair at the nape of Brian’s neck. Brian’s hand came up to cup the back of his head, his fingers threading themselves through his hair. The passion built between them rapidly, their enforced separation of days contributing to their desperation. Brian gnawed unrestrainedly at Justin’s tongue, unwilling to compromise his ardour despite Justin’s inexperience. With an eagerness and fearlessness, which surprised him, Justin offered himself openly. Brian’s hand dropped down onto Justin’s lap and began to rub gently through the material. Justin gasped and Brian opened his eyes to watch as Justin tilted his head back in pleasure. Never closing his eyes he gently rubbed his nose up Justin’s cheekbone until he encountered his ear lobe and decided that he couldn’t resist sucking on it. Justin’s mouth fell open, panting as he pushed his whole body towards Brian, tilting his head up and arching his hips. Brian froze at the unexpected stimulation to his own cock and he automatically pushed and stroked harder hoping to force Justin’s hips down so there would be more pressure. Justin inhaled suddenly and his eyes flew open. Brian pulled his head back to look at him but did not stop the movement of his hand. Justin’s eyes widen as he became aware of Brian’s blatant challenge. He knew that if he wanted to he could make this all stop. With one word, one gesture Brian would let him go. But he also understood that this was his last opportunity for Brian would not give him another if his fear overcame him now. He studied the face, which he hadn’t been able to make himself forget in the past few days, the high cheekbones, the dark eyes and the swollen lips, which glistened with his own saliva. Without breaking eye contact, carefully, calculatedly he shifted his ass over the hardness he felt under him. Brian’s hand immediately reached for his hip and clutched at it to still his movement and Justin moaned at the loss of its’ reassuring pressure on his own cock. The corner of Brian’s mouth curved up in a half smile and he moved his hand back and started to undo the buttons of the flap of Justin’s breeches. Their mouths met in a thorough attempt at distracting Justin from Brian’s activities. But Justin hardly cared. He just spread his legs further and groaned, titling his pelvis up in an effort to force more contact. Justin began to run his fingers through Brian’s hair as they kissed and Brian released his cock from his trousers. Brian’s fingers explored the length of thick muscle that he held in his hand. He wanted to taste it but he knew that he wouldn’t, at least not yet when Justin was so new at this. He couldn’t resist the impulse to further inflame Justin’s senses. “Look” Brian demanded. He adjusted Justin’s position in his lap turning him so that his back rested in the crook of his arm. Justin’s head fell on to his shoulder as if he didn’t have the strength to hold it up. He nuzzled his nose under Justin’s jaw and then began to whisper naughty things in his ear. “Look Justin. Watch me as I touch you.” Justin adjusted his head and whimpered. Then he turned his head and attempted to reach his mouth to kiss him. Brian let him have that contact for a moment before he began again to speak. “Have you ever done this before? Touched yourself? Made yourself crazy till you couldn’t take it any more and you spilled your essence into your hand. Have you?” Justin blushed and tucked his head in to the crook of Brian’s neck and was grateful that his eyes were closed. He couldn’t imagine having to look into Brian’s eyes as he asked him these questions. His entire being was focused on the movement of Brian’s hand. Soft and gentle as his fingers explored his length, as his thumb swept over the tip of his cock gathering the seed which collected there to spread around the rest of him. Every time Brian touched him directly under the crown of his cock his nerves were set alight and he felt as if his whole body were vibrating, vibrations so deep inside him that it was just a feeling for he knew that his body did not show the outward signs of his trembling pleasure. But Brian stopped suddenly and bit his earlobe making him gasp at the pain and moan as he pushed his hips into Brian’s hand hoping to encourage more movement. “I won’t touch you until you tell me Justin. Have you done this to yourself before?” “I… Yes. I… when…” Justin decided that there was no need to provide an explanation - that he wouldn’t be ashamed. Though he acknowledged that even though he had come to this conclusion he couldn’t stop his body from reacting. Or from blushing at the wicked things Brian was saying in his ear - for making his heart race quicker, making him harder. “You have? When was the last time? I wonder how old you were your first time. Did it feel good? As good as it feels right now? Do you want me to stop?” Brian’s voice was low and soothing and somehow comforting. “No… no… please” Justin whined as his breathing quickened and his body began to tense. Brian knew that he wanted more time and more space to examine Justin’s body next time he had him this exposed. This was a taster, to ignite his curiosity, to make him want more so he decided to give the boy his release. Justin felt it rise up in him, a burn that hummed through his veins and pulsed out of him as he spilled into Brian’s hand. He shut his eyes and blushed in sudden shame, shifting his body back so as to be able to bury his face in Brian’s neck as he regained his breath. “Have you tasted it?” Justin still panting heavily from his release gasped in shock, not sure whether to be disgusted at the thought or at the desire it generated within him. He watched as Brian began to lick his essence from his fingers and it made his chest tighten and it was hard to breathe. When Brian bowed his head, giving him the choice to taste from his mouth. Justin did not hesitate. Without breaking eye contact Justin tentatively licked at the red lips that were so near to his. Slowly increasing the pressure of the stroke of his tongue, begging entrance until Brian opened his mouth allowing Justin to taste the heady mixture of Brian’s flavour with a hint of himself. His whole being wanted more - more of this fire and need. He felt a thrill run through his body at the thought of what the future held and then he turned cold as he realised that he knew nothing of what the future held. Justin was limp in his embrace and Brian felt an overwhelming need to make him stand, the notion of having him cradled in his arms suddenly making his skin itch. He had things to do, letters to decode. He pushed Justin into a standing position, which meant that he ended up facing Justin’s stomach as he turned him towards him. Brian began to fasten Justin’s breeches and heard his breath hitch and saw his arms flinch towards him as if they would make a move to stop him. When he finished he finally looked up at Justin’s face. His eyes were drowsy with sated lust; his cheeks flushed half with embarrassment and half with shame. Brian stood and kissed him for a moment. Justin responded cautiously as if afraid to show too much fervour. Brian let it be, knowing that Justin would need some time to let what had just happened sink in. When the kiss ended Justin looked at him, calmly but expectant. Brian allowed a small smile to escape then put his hands on his hips and turned him suddenly so that he was facing the desk. Justin gasped and quickly turned his head to shoot him a questioning look. “Write down the instructions on how to break that code here.” Brian reached and laid a blank piece of paper in front of him. Justin hummed his displeasure at having this task taken from him but bent over to do as he was told. As he did so his ass brushed against Brian’s crotch. Brian grabbed on to Justin’s hips again to steady him, gasping. He felt Justin tense as he felt Brian’s unalleviated erection against his ass. But Brian knew that he would not be getting relief so he took a step away from him. Justin broke the tense silence lightly saying, “I could do this, you know. It is no trouble.” as he put his quill down, having finished noting down his instructions. “I know but it would be best if it was left to someone else.” Justin turned slowly to face him, studying his face intently. Brian made sure to keep his features carefully blank. Justin finally stepped away and walked around the desk so as to put some difference between them. Brian picked up the packet of letters and Justin’s instructions. He was already absent, his thoughts already ahead of him planning his next movements. He was almost startled when he realised that Justin was waiting for some sort of acknowledgement. “I’ll probably be out all night. Could you inform Jenkins that I shall not be dining in tonight. Goodnight.” He turned and left. Justin stood for a moment blinking his confusion. It was supper time. He would eat and then try and work through this once he had retired. He sighed in an effort to settle his mind and body after the havoc that Brian had caused.