Justin POV Finally he's starting to understand. But I know now we’ve put him slightly on the defensive so he’ll… “You let me top you.” There you go. I feel Brian tense, or maybe it's me that tenses. It's not that Brian doesn’t think that I don’t bottom for anyone else but him. Actually I'm pretty sure he thinks he knows that I do. It's just that I don’t ever when he’s around. Why would I when he’s around? Why settle for seconds when he’s within reaching distance? “Ethan, how many times?” “Once. But you’re a top, so you never do it often…” I furrow my eyebrows and I say “You think that I top Brian? That he bottoms for me every day and… uhhh night?” I hear Brian snort “Oh, I…” I can tell he hadn’t really thought that through. “Ethan, I never let you top me again because I needed the control in my life, at school, my friends, even us. I was out of control and the only thing I could control was sex. Do you remember when it was that I let you top me?” “Yeah. It was after I came to get you at the Rage party. After you decided to really commit to us, to our relationship.” I see Brian look at me knowingly and he seems to just let it go. Let everything go, as if he now knows without a doubt that everything will be ok. He immediately seems to get this air of restlessness as if now that he knows everything, this can be over and that he wants to get on to whatever’s next, namely punishing my ass. He’s such a child. His mood are so fucking volatile and he’s impatient with no attention span. I already realise that he’s paying absolutely no attention to what’s happening anymore. He knows that nothing that will be said in the next few minutes will affect him. “Why do you think I let you do that, that night?” I can see him think about it and even though in the last few minutes I seemed to sound more patronizing, I wasn’t gonna make him say it. “Brian had just hurt me so I wanted to hurt him too. I wanted to prove to him, to you, to me, to every fucking person in my life that I could do whatever I wanted to and that Brian had no effect or control over me. I tried to make letting someone top me symbolise me letting Brian go. But it didn’t really work. I don’t think Brian will ever really not be there for me” I give Brian a sideways grin and he meets my eyes “he kind of made a really good first impression.” “So what? This is it?” “Yeah Ethan. It was "it" a long time ago.” “But if he’s so fucking perfect what the fuck was I? Why did you leave him for me?” I go up to Ethan and tell him that he should go. But he's shaking his head and finally I tell him that if he doesn’t fucking leave now Brian’s going to get bitchy and that then I have no control over the consequences. “Maybe it's the amazing grace conundrum.” Shit. I can tell Brian’s going to… “The what… what the fuck Brian?” “I once was lost but now I'm found. Was blind but now I see.” he says in his most sarcastic tone. “You are such a fucking idiot and an asshole and I mean that in the most endearing, loving and devoted way possible.” I go up towards him and slap at his chest but he grabs my hand and tugs me towards him. I relax against his body and rest my forehead on his chest. His heart beats slow and steady. He looks over my shoulder “I think you should go. There’s nothing here that you want that you can have.” Fuck, that was practically a declaration Kinney. I lift my head up and look at him, kiss his chin and turn around to walk towards Ethan. I lead him to the door. Once he's over the threshold he turns around again as if to say something but I beat him to it. “Ethan, thank you. I'm sorry it turned out this way but you taught me a lot.” “It just led you right back to where you started…” Ethan looks at me puzzled “I know!” with that he glares at me, turns and goes without waiting for the lift. I slide the loft door closed and bolt it. I turn around and look at Brian who's standing in front of me near the couch. He walks towards me, kisses the top of my head and tells me to hurry the fuck up cause he's hungry and horny and he wants to attempt to eat dinner before sampling dessert. I check the food and start putting everything in serving dishes. Brian sets the table. I don’t say thank you cause it would mean I noticed and then he’d never do it again. We sit, he gets up and goes to get the wine. He pours some for both of us and we eat. I'm washing the dishes when I finally get the courage to ask him. “Brian?” I watch him. “Is there anything else you want to know?” He looks at me and gives me one of those classic Kinney looks. He raises one eyebrow and tucks his tongue into his cheek. “About what sonny boy?” My eyebrows go up in a questioning gaze but he keeps on looking straight at me. Fine. If that’s the way he wants to play it, that’s the way it's gonna be. I dry my hands on a dishtowel and walk towards him. I put my arms round his neck and his go around my waist and pull me towards him “Fine. So…? What do you want to do now? Dessert?” I give him my most wide eyed innocent look and he laughs, kisses me hard, open-mouthed but with no tongue and pulls me towards the couch. “No, I want to watch a movie.” What the fuck? “Brian?” “Justin?” He mimics me and I glare at him but follow him. “If your not going to fuck me then I'll go and jerk off.” “…And you’re telling me this why…? It hardly affects my health.” “Actually, did you know that research has shown that regular masturbation can cut the risk of prostate cancer by up to a third?” He's comfortable on the couch and I go to him. He grabs my hand and pulls me down on top of him. “Where the fuck did you read that? ... And what’s regular?” “Wikipedia and more than 5 times. It reduces the buildup of carcino… something… genic deposits, which can damage the cells lining the prostate.” I quote. “A day?” he asks vaguely. “A week Brian” I laugh, he looks at me and says “Well I'm sure you're fine. Do you think it matters how you cum? Or is it only jerking off that counts? Well I suppose, it hardly matters. You get that in a day no matter what, either way.” “I don’t have 10 orgasms a day…” I say in shock “Do I? Jesus do we actually have that much sex?” I'm actually kind of horrified and curious and… if someone else came up to me and told me they had 10 orgasms a day I'd think they had to be a sex addict or something… well there are worse things I could be… “Well there is only one way to find out.” Brian says sarcastically “Count!” “Wake-up sex, shower blow-jobs… oh… sometimes if I'm awake first I'll wake you up with a blow-job… then there’s shower sex and then…” Brian shakes his head and lightly backhands me. “Shut up Twat… movies playing now.”