A/N okay, Im so sorry i havent been able to update but i had to do a lot of last minute stuff for my honeymoon, on which im leaving tommorrow, i cant believe ive been married for over a month alredy!!! so i won't be home to write for a week. please please please review! and without further ado.....
Faith pours from your walls, drowning your calls
I've tried to hear, you're not near
Remembering when I saw your face
Shining my way, pure timing
Now I've fallen in deep, slow silent sleep
It's killing me, I'm dying
To put a little bit of sunshine in your life
Justin’s POV
My legs start to fall asleep as a slowly rock Brian, whose tears are subsiding finally. I can’t help but be amazed at this déjà vu role reversal. Was it really only a few weeks ago that Brian and I were on the floor of the Diner bathroom talking about Molly? Man…
When I walked into his bedroom this morning I was expecting Brian to be pissy and moody, not at all the catatonic lifeless form I found half-curled up on the corner of his room and bed. I was so scared, he was so emotionless and blank, his eyes flickered to me as I took another step onto a creaky floorboard.
“Hey,” I continued to approach him, gently and cautiously.
His only response was a nod and a pat to a part of the bed next to him. Taking that as an invitation, I tentatively sit down and put my hands in my lap. With one long arm Brian reaches towards the night stand and grabs a crumpled piece of paper, before I can ask what it is, he hands it to me with a solemn stare. I look down, noticing the Penn State letterhead, and begin to read, my stomach dropping a little more with each line, and by the middle I understand enough to throw it down in disgust.
“That’s such bullshit! It’s not your fault you got hurt!”
“It’s not bullshit, they can do what ever they want with their money, cripples don’t win division championships J.” His voice is a bit hoarse, but devoid of any feeling.
God, I want to help him so bad, but I don’t know how, I raise a hand and cup his cheek, feeling the small stubble under my fingers. He avoids eye contact but I guide his chin to look at me.
“I’m so sorry Brian.” He gives me a sad smile which brings pin pricks to the backs of my eyes, but I refuse to cry, I have to be strong for him. I lean my forehead against his, wanting to make everyone and everything go away except us, it’s not fucking fair, nothing is.
“Yea, me too.” Brian pulls back suddenly, surprising me, and takes the bed sheet in between his strong fingers, twisting the fabric into a tight little knob. Then he stops and runs a hand through his already sloppy hair. I don’t know what to say so I wait for him.
“What the fuck am I going to do now?” He turns to look at me, begging me for an easy answer, but I don’t have one so all I can do is stare back and open my mouth slightly in my unknowing.
“Fuck, I had everything planned out!” He leans his head against the wall with a tiny thud, “I was going to play division 1 in college, and then move into the major leagues, maybe minors for awhile if I’m not good enough, but fuck I was good enough,” His emphasis on the terrible word “was” scares me.
Brian makes a fist and hits his thigh hard, I flinch but I don’t scold him, “They don’t send scouts to high school games! But they did for me!” The small sad smile returns to his face and I fight the urge to sniffle, “I couldn’t fucking believe it when coach pulled me over to introduce us, I thought I was going to faint, the guy said I had real talent and that he would love to see me in a few years.” His hazel eyes burn into the wall, reliving the memory, blinking, he bites his lip fighting back the tears that are making his eyes glisten.
“Nothing was supposed to happen, there was no back up plan, yea maybe a business degree, but that’s it, soccer wasn’t supposed to stop. I planned out every fucking minute detail, and now its all worthless, I can’t do any fucking thing about it!” He finally looks me in the eye and the pain and desperation that’s now written all over his face kills me. I scoot towards him and embrace him. He collapses into my arms and begins to sob. My arms tighten against his shaking body, my hands rub his muscular back through the thin material of his t-shirt.
“We’ll find a way Brian, the fight isn’t over, I know now it looks like there’s no way to keep going, but you have to, we have to.” I whisper into his ear and stroke his hair in hopes to comfort him. I stay quiet for a little bit and I feel a slow nod against my shoulder, even if he doesn’t believe it, he hears me. It’s that damn déjà vu flip flop again, I refused to listen when he said he’d get me out of the Taylor hellhole, but I should have, and so should he.
I feel Brian calming down a bit and some of the tension leaving his body so I continue, “It sucks, it really fucking sucks, but the world isn’t ending, we still have four months to get you back in shape, we can do it, because I plan on sitting with all the other trophy wives in the box seats at the world cup.” That remark earns me a giggle and I loosen my grip slightly. “I love you Brian.” He pulls back and wipes his face, looking a little embarrassed at his moment of vulnerability.
His eyes flick down to our laps and then back up, “I love you too Justin.” He presses a kiss to my lips and I smile.
“We’ll make it Brian.”
“I hope so.”
And you will dry this tear
Now that we're here, and grieve for me, not history
I smile again and kiss him. His lips are a bit salty from his tears but I don’t care, kissing him again feels too good and I start to get hard. Apparently me and Brian are on the same wave length because he sneaks a hand over to my crotch and deepens the kiss.
I smile against his lips but I need to stop this before it goes any farther, we don’t have the best track record when it comes to his mom bursting in on us.
“Brian, stop, your mom is downstairs.” My firm rejection turned out to be more of a whine.
“I’m not the screamer Sunshine.” I try to protest, but I know he’s right, well maybe a little fondling won’t hurt…
He flicks his head up, trying to get me to expose my neck for him, I don’t play along, knowing he wants to mark me, and I suck on his bottom lip, which I’ve learned, drives him crazy.
“Mmm I love your lips, all pouty and suckable.” I smile at Brian’s lust driven comment and continue to explore his mouth and play with his tongue, a red flush creeping up my body.
The hand that was massaging my crotch returns and Brian’s fingers play with the zipper, not completely pulling it down, teasing. I moan in anticipation, unable to contain my arousal.
Then Brian shifts in the bed so he can lay down, and grabs my upper arms and pulls me so I am straddling his long form. I carefully lean back down to meet his lips, cautious of his bad knee. He raises up his head and kisses my neck, licking along the faint yellow bruise and kissing it softly. To expedite the process I start to grind our crotches together, the soft cotton of his sweat pants caressing my jean clad hard-on. Brian tweaks one of my nipples in response and I whimper, losing myself in all the wonderful sensations.
“That’s it baby boy, tell me how bad you need it.” I moan again as Brian whispers against my neck.
“Tell me how much you want to climb up onto my stiff cock and ride me. Fucking the shit out of yourself, bouncing up and down on my throbbing dick, twisting your hips to hit your prostate.” I shudder at his words and I can feel the pre cum leaking from my cock. I grind harder into Brian’s dick, my entire body tingling.
“You like that don’t you baby boy. Maybe I’d make you finger fuck yourself, opening up your tight little as for me”
“Mmmmmm Brian, please” I know he’s going to make me beg but I could careless right now, I want him so fucking bad
“Moaning my name as you open your hole for me to take you. Yea, you would ride me good like the slut you are, taking every inch of my aching member until you cum, screaming my name.”
“Uhhhhh” I press my burning crotch into his as I cum, unable to take the grinding and dirty talk. His strong hands grip my sides and I bury my face in his neck.
I can’t fucking believe I just came in my pants.
“Justin?” He tries to raise my head, but I stay firmly in place, my cheeks burning red. “Jus? Did you just…” Christ he can’t even finish the question, fuck you Brian, for being so fucking sexy.
Knowing I have to face the music I blindly search for his wrist and grab it and shove it down my pants, our fingers greeted with my cum covered cock and underwear.
I look up into his eyes, surprised to find a feral look instead of the pitying disbelief I expected. “That is so fucking hot Justin.” I raise an eyebrow and he smirks and brings his head up to capture my lips fiercely, letting me know that this is definitely not over yet.
And suddenly you're in love with everything
Soleil all over you, warm sun pours over me
Soleil all over you
Warm sun
Song: The Shining by Badly Drawn Boy