Chapter 6 Hello My Loyal Readers!! I wanted to thank each and every one of you who voted for hope and change on Tuesday. I know the rumor is that we went down in flames but we didn’t. We went down fighting. Sure GW got more votes than any President ever but do you know who got the second most votes ever in history? John Kerry. GW’s margin of victory was the slimmest of any incumbent since Woodrow Wilson. You did good, folks. You did real good. So now what? Okay I know we all want to bury out heads in the sand, throw up our hands and announce that it was all for nothing, but it wasn’t. It just feels that way. We actually were engaged in the system, we were actual citizens supporting and defending what we believe in. Now we have to be vigilant. They won so the mess in Washington belongs to them. The administration has to make good on all those promises. Who will keep them accountable? Us. We get to ask the hard questions: Abolished abortion yet? Paid off half the deficit yet? Improved the schools yet? Brought in more jobs yet? Imported any prescription meds from Canada yet? We get to go on the offense. They have to defend what GW does. It will be a hard thing to do. So don’t throw up your hands or we really have been defeated. It is only when we stop fighting that we lose. I find myself comparing what happened to the battle for Market Garden in WW2. They went in there hoping to be home by Christmas. It didn’t work out that way. The campaign was a failure. The important thing is that it even though it took a little longer they still won the war. So when you feel down and disenfranchised remember this: We might not be home by Christmas but we will win this war! Hang in there and if you need a pep talk drop me a line. I’ll point you to good sites that will show you that you are not alone. Even those of us who are imbedded blues within red states, we are not alone. Hugs Mouse >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Chapter 6 The sound of the kettle whistling brought Justin back from his thoughts as he watched his mother set out two cups and place the tea bags in them. He knew what was coming and for the first time in his life wasn’t dreading it. He waited as she finished her task and returned to the table with the cups. “So he came by here?” She picked up where Justin had left off. “Yes.” Justin admitted. “What did he want?” Jennifer sounded concerned and with good reason. Brian Kinney had hurt her son once and she had no intentions of letting him do so again. “To talk.” Justin reached for his cup using his spoon to play with the tea bag. “Are you being evasive for a reason?” Jennifer asked watching her son closely. Justin glanced up and shrugged. “Probably.” He admitted. “I don’t need you to tell me what to do.” “When have I ever-“ His look silenced her. She nodded realizing he was right. “Okay.” She surrendered. “I’ll try. I will really try to just listen.” Justin rolled his lips into his mouth as he returned to his cup. “He said he wants to try again.” Justin offered. Jennifer wasn’t surprised by what Brian had revealed but was shocked that he’d actually admitted it to her son. She’d known for a long time how much Brian Kinney loved Justin. A few years back, she’d even happily accepted that they were in a committed relationship then suddenly everything had fallen apart. Justin had shown up on her doorstep looking like he’d lost his best friend, later that afternoon she’d learned that he had. He set out renewing some art contacts and by the end of the week he’d been on a plane to Paris. “Well Justin, I’d think you are hardly in a position emotionally to be jumping back into a relationship especially with Brian Kinney.” Jennifer refrained from the advice she felt crawling up her throat. ‘Hell no!’ “I know.” He admitted softly. “But,” He paused as if debating whether or not he really wanted to share this with his mother. She waited patiently knowing if she pushed he would choose not to. “It just felt so good.” He admitted. “What did?” She was confused. “We,” He paused. “Okay, don’t misunderstand this, because it just happened. It wasn’t planned.” “Oh, Justin.” Her voice rang with disappointment. “You slept with him?” “I didn’t go looking for him. We just ran into each other and it happened.” He offered realizing how lame it sounded even to him let alone his mother. “Justin.” She sighed. He pushed his cup away. “Don’t.” He warned. “Don’t what? Tell you that I think sleeping with Brian Kinney when you’re obviously still grieving over Andy is a huge mistake?” Justin continued to stare at the table. He knew she was right. He tried to think about that afternoon and how it had felt so natural to turn off all the sorrow and guilt. How comforting Brian’s arms had felt, his hands, his lips. “I care about Brian.” Justin defended. “He wasn’t trying to confuse me.” “I know that Sweetheart. I have no doubt that Brian’s feelings for you are genuine. I just don’t think you are in a good place right now to jump back into a relationship with him. It was hard enough for you when you weren’t trying to get over the loss of a partner.” She leaned forward and reached for his hand. He curled his fingers around hers. “I don’t know what to do.” He admitted. “Don’t do anything.” She advised. “Just take it one day at a time and when you feel strong enough to pursue someone, then and only then should you go after them.” “Is that what you’re waiting for?” He looked up meeting her gaze. “Was Craig your one and only? He’s moved on. Why haven’t you?” He asked softly. She gave him an affectionate smile. “Justin, you shouldn’t worry about me.” She offered. “But I do.” He countered not letting her off of the hook. “Is it me? Am I the reason you are alone? Are there that few men who can handle a woman with a gay son?” He asked squeezing her hand. “It isn’t that. I loved your father and trusted him completely. It isn’t that I’m not interested in other men. I just have a hard time trusting them.” She admitted. He nodded. “I know how you feel.” He offered and they shared a smile. “So what are you going to tell Brian?” She asked wanting some sense of where Justin’s head was at the moment. “I don’t know. I love him. I’ll always love him.” He sighed shaking his head. “But I just don’t know that I can go back to the way things were. I don’t want to. Even after I’ve taken more time to get over Andy, I don’t think I could go back.” Jennifer accepted his admission and refused to show her relief. Brian Kinney had broken Justin’s heart before. It was high time he found another victim. ********** Brian looked up from his desk and was surprised to see Lindsay watching him from the door. He furrowed his brow then motioned her in. She entered giving him a sympathetic look. Brian knew now what this was about. “He called?” He asked. “Came by.” Lindsay volunteered. “Sang a sad song?” Brian asked leaning back in his chair. “He is sad. He’s disappointed.” She admitted. “Melanie no doubt took this opportunity to agree that I was a shit?” He asked. “Actually she remained remarkably quiet.” Lindsay offered surprising the man. “She thinks he was the wrong person for you just like the rest of your family did.” “The wrong person?” Brian leaned forward. “Yes, we all thought Paul was the wrong person, but figured that if he made you happy then we should do whatever it took to accept him.” She offered honestly. Brian smirked leaning back once more. “Why would you do that?” He asked holding a pen between his fingers rolling it slowly as he contemplated this information. “Because we love you.” She offered sincerely. “If you love me, why not tell me you think I’m making a mistake?” He asked tongue in cheek. “You never listened to us before. Why would you start now?” She asked meeting attitude with attitude. “When did I-“ He didn’t finish knowing full well when he’d refused to listen to Lindsay. She’d urged him to go after Justin when the blond had first left for Paris. He’d refused, believing that it was the best thing for Justin if he let the man go. “So.” She sighed smiling at her friend. “Does this mean you’ve come to your senses and decided to work things out with Justin?” “That’s none of your business.” Brian replied turning his attention back to the project before him. “You know he got the job at the gallery.” She offered. “He starts this week.” Brian was surprised that Justin hadn’t mentioned it but wasn’t about to reveal that fact to Lindsay. “Paul’s moving out.” He announced trying to keep the focus off of Justin. “I heard.” She offered. “Does Justin know?” Brian sighed in frustration. “It has nothing to do with Justin. It was just that Paul and I weren’t working out.” Brian defended. “Right.” She smiled realizing it was too much for Brian to come clean just yet. “Well just let me know if you ever need my backyard for a commitment ceremony.” She rose and headed for the door. “You never know when Mr. Right might just walk back into your life.” “Lindsay?” Brian called then paused before reluctantly asking. “What is the name of the gallery?” She kept a straight face as she turned back. “Hanifery’s.” She offered. “It’s a few blocks over from the building you worked in while with Vanguard.” Brian cringed inwardly but said nothing. Unfortunately, he knew exactly where it was. “Thanks.” He offered as he heard her turn back to leave his office. Lindsay couldn’t wipe the smile from her face as she left the building. Finally, Brian had a real chance at happiness. She just hoped Justin would heal from his loss quickly so that their lives could be put back together the way they had always been meant to be. ********* “You can tell it isn’t a true McDermot.” Justin offered the owner as he leaned in over the photo. “For one McDermot only uses light from the East.” He noted the shadows and features of the land that revealed the westerly light. The owner noted the fact then waited for the rest of the young man’s explanation. “Secondly, McDermot never used facial features on his subjects. I see three of the eight with such features.” Justin drew closer examining the far corner of the painting. “Also he never signed his paintings “McDermot”.” He laughed. “He signed them McD.” The owner looked up giving the man a pleased look. “Nicely done.” He admitted. “Well I learned a lot at the galleries in Paris.” Justin modestly offered in reply. “You certainly did. He’s a minor and yet you know quite a lot about him.” Jeff Hanifrey added. “I might have purchased this.” He admitted. “Doubtful. Even if it were an original McDermot, it’s still grossly overpriced.” Justin gave the man a wink. Jeff laughed and nodded. “Okay so it was a test. You passed.” Justin nodded. He’d thought as much. It was an obvious forgery. Any first year art student would have caught the discrepancies. “So Justin, how is your first day so far?” Jeff leaned against the table taking in the other man. “I feel very fortunate to be here. Still trying to determine my role but I’m sure that will define itself over the next few weeks.” Justin admitted. Hanifery nodded. The door to Jeff Hanifery’s office flew open causing both men to look up in surprise. “Jeff I hope you don’t mind, but Amber told me to just come on…….in.” Paul hesitated as he eyes landed on the blond. “Paul, come in, come in.” Jeff Hanifery encouraged his friend. “I have someone I want you to meet.” Paul gave the man a wary look. “This is Justin Taylor my new gallery manager.” He announced. “Justin, this is Paul Conner a good friend of mine and excellent patron of the gallery.” Justin couldn’t believe his luck or lack thereof as Paul bristled before him. “We’ve met.” The older man spat. “Really?” Jeff seemed confused by his friend’s open hostility toward the blond. “Oh yes little Justin here and I are old friends. Isn’t that right Justin? Share and share alike?” Paul sneered. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.” Justin moved passed Paul heading back to the hall. “Paul?” Jeff Hanifery was baffled. He’d never seen his friend act so overtly rude before in his life. “I came by to tell you that the commitment ceremony is off.” Paul glanced at the painting then moved to the sofa on the opposite wall. “Oh no.” Jeff sighed. “Brian has another trip?” “No, it’s off for good this time.” Paul sighed looking away. “His old flame came back to town and blew out any hope of Brian and I ever being happy together.” “That’s terrible.” The man sympathized joining his friend on the sofa. He and Paul went way back. They’d both managed to survive the loss of so many friends as well as partners during the HIV crisis in the eighties. The man had bailed Jeff out during the first few months after he’d opened the gallery. He was a good and loyal friend. “What’s really terrible is that your new gallery manager is Brian’s old flame.” Paul gestured toward the door. “Justin?” Jeff was surprised. He seemed young to be with Brian but then Brian seemed young to be with Paul. “Are you sure?” “Brian’s already fucking him behind my back. Is that sure enough for you?” Paul snapped. His friend placed a comforting hand on the man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Paul admitted. “I’m just hurting. I don’t mean to take it out on you.” “What can I do?” Jeff asked sincerely. “Fire him.” Paul replied in all seriousness. “I can’t do that Paul.” Jeff answered. “What ground would I use?” “Character?” Paul offered. His friend seemed unconvinced. “Loss of one of your most loyal patrons?” Paul threatened. Jeff considered for a moment if his friend’s threat was sincere. It didn’t take long to realize that it was. ******************* “Brian!” Amber greeted the tall handsome brunet. She knew he was gay and was actually involved with Mr. Conner but she still couldn’t help flirting with the man when he came into the gallery. “Hello Amber.” His smile warmed her and reddened her cheeks. “I’m looking for someone and was hoping that you could—“ “Mr. Conner is in with Mr. Hanifery.” She supplied admiring her own efficiency. Brian glanced down the hall realizing he was behind the curve. “Actually I was looking for Justin Taylor.” He offered. ”Our new gallery manager?” She asked curiously. Brian nodded. “His office is down that hall.” She offered pointing to the one just off to the left. Brian smiled and thanked her before heading down the corridor. “Should I announce that you are here?” Amber called. “No, it’s a surprise.” He replied. Justin was already packing his things. The good news was that he’d just started that day so there wasn’t much to pack. He heard the door open and braced himself for Mr. Hanifery’s lame excuse for his termination. Looking up he was surprised to see Brian. “Paul’s in with –“ “I know where he is. Did he see you?” Brian asked. Justin nodded his expression making it clear how the encounter had gone. “Shit.” Brian spat. “I didn’t realize you were applying here.” “I didn’t realize Paul was a patron of the arts.” Justin replied sarcastically. “So you like artists?” “He’s no artist and yes I do like artists. I like one artist.” Brian offered. Justin paused long enough to give the man a small smile. “I’m fucked.” Justin admitted. “It’s a shame too because I was already liking it here.” “You think he’ll fire you?” Brian asked. “Oh yeah.” Justin sounded sure of himself. Brian knew that Jeff and Paul were very close friends and had been for years. Jeff had been the first person Paul had introduced Brian to. They had gone out for dinner. He could still remember how important it had been to Paul that Brian make a good impression on Jeff. There was a light knock at the door. Before Justin could answer, the door opened a crack revealing Jeff Hanifery. His gaze immediately took in Brian’s presence. He looked back at Justin nonplused. “Justin, I’m afraid—“ Justin put up his hand to stop him. “I completely understand. You can’t afford to lose his friendship or his patronage.” Jeff seemed sincerely disappointed about losing the artist. “Paul is very upset.” He offered to Brian. “Stay out of it Jeff.” He was furious that the man was taking out his actions on Justin. “I’m not sure what Paul told you but Justin had nothing to do with why we are no longer together.” The news seemed to come as a shock to the blond; his attention shifted entirely to Brian. “You broke it off?” He asked no longer caring about Jeff Hanifery. “I told you I was going to whether you wanted to start things up again or not. Paul and I weren’t meant to be together. It was too forced.” Brian explained. “Well he’s still in my office.” Brian nodded at Jeff’s admission. “I need to talk to Paul.” Brian headed for the door. “Finish packing and I’ll help you carry your stuff to the car, then take you out and help you forget your troubles.” Justin continued to get his portfolio items together. He was glad Brian had decided to come by, but also relieved he would have a few moments alone to process the fact that he’d just lost his job as well as the information that Brian and Paul were no longer together. While Hanifery made his apologies to the young artist, Brian headed down to Jeff’s office. “Paul.” He greeted as he burst through the door. “I just wanted to thank you for helping to convince Jeff to let Justin go. We’ve been wanting him at Kinnetics ever since I found out he was back in town. This is perfect. Thanks.” He gave an insincere smile as he closed the door behind him taking Paul’s smug satisfaction with him and leaving in its place unquenchable rage. ********* “How many is that?” Brian asked as Justin slammed back another one. “I don’t know.” He shook his head to chase away the bitter taste. “They say if you can’t count them you should stop drinking them.” Brian quipped downing another himself. “How many is that for you?” Justin asked. Brian shrugged as they slumped together laughing. “You know this solves nothing.” Justin reasoned. Brian glanced over always amused and amazed that even dead drunk Justin was still able to reason. “Well it solves my problem.” Brian offered. “You have a problem?” Justin looked over sincerely concerned. “I need a new artist in my Art Department.” Brian signaled for two more. “Oh no.” Justin shook his head then reached for the bar as the room tilted slightly. “I’m not working for you.” “Sure you are.” Brian moved the drink in front of the blond. “No, bad stuff will happen.” Brian slammed the drink down then turned to consider the man’s words. “Like what?” Brian asked. “Fucking on desks, in storage closets, on the copier.” Justin replied then downed his drink. “Bad stuff.” “What makes that bad?” Brian curiously asked. “Are you shitting me?” Justin turned, his eyes shining with the effect of the alcohol. Brian shook his head. “It will be all fucking, just fucking.” Justin sounded disgusted as he pushed himself off of this stool and almost fell to the floor. Brian arms supported him. “I think it’s time I got you home Sonny Boy.” He looked down into Justin’s face. “I missed you Brian.” The smaller man admitted, his eyes searching the older man’s face. Brian felt lost in that moment. He’d missed Justin so much, too much, but all that was about to change. “Let’s go.” Brian whispered as he pulled the man against him tossing the bills onto the bar. “I need to pay.” Justin started to get his own money but Brian stopped him. “This one is on me. Next one is yours.” Justin nodded. “Where are we going?” Justin asked sincerely confused. “Home.” Brian stated not taking any more time to explain. ******** It was late. Justin wasn’t sure how late but he knew he hadn’t been asleep very long as he sat up and moved to the edge of Brian’s bed. He still felt a little off balance and realized it was the lingering effect of too many shots. He glanced back at Brian and was grateful that they were both dressed. He glanced around the darkened room getting his bearing for a moment. Rising he moved down into the living room. The last time he’d been here he’d been in such a hurry to get out he’d missed all the subtle changes that had occurred during his absence. He noted the new sofa, the expensive uncomfortable looking chairs. He moved to the windows and was surprised to note that the chaise was gone. He felt remorseful about that. He had missed the chaise. He looked around and also realized that naked guy was gone as well. That had to be Paul’s influence not Brian’s. It had been the first thing Brian had bought back after the big sell off years ago. Justin moved slowly into the kitchen noting that the light fixtures were different. They were still expensive but the style was more modern. He opened the refrigerator and realized it too was the latest and greatest. He chuckled softly wondering why on earth a man who never ate would need such a fancy ass refrigerator. “I’m still drunk.” Brian’s voice caused him to jump. They both laughed as Justin handed the man a bottle of water as well. “Me too.” Justin admitted. Brian had peeled off his shirt. Justin found himself resisting the urge to stare at his chest. Finally the guilt forced him out of the kitchen and back to the windows. Brian watched curiously. “So I guess we need to negotiate your salary now that I have you at a disadvantage.” Brian smirked heading to the couch. “Are those chairs as uncomfortable as they look?” Justin asked not wanting to talk about the job offer. “Yep, and cost me a fucking fortune.” Justin laughed. Brian rolled his eyes. “The price of being a stylish fag in the Pitts.” He laughed as well. “So, what is your price?” “I don’t think I should work for you.” Justin offered sincerely forgoing the chairs and taking a seat on the far end of the couch. “Why?” Brian asked surprised. He’d thought the matter was settled. “I think it would be a mistake. I think it would be too easy—“ “You’ve forgotten what a demanding asshole I am.” Brian asserted. “No, I remember, Mr. Kinney.” Justin offered. They both exchanged an amused glance. “It would be too easy to—“ “Fall back into old habits?” Brian offered. Justin nodded. “I’m not over Andy.” He announced. “I know that.” Brian declared. “I’m not rushing you.” “No, you’re not. It’s just that it would be so much easier to avoid dealing with it.” Justin tried to explain. “Pain management?” Brian offered. “Exactly.” Justin declared. “Well I have no desire to be one of the rungs up the twelve step ladder, so don’t worry.” He was confident. Justin furrowed his brow. “Are you saying you don’t want to have sex with me?” Justin asked trying to sort out what it was that Brian was telling him. “No, I’m not saying that.” Brian leaned closer to the man. “I’m saying I refuse to fuck this up again.” Justin was surprised by the man’s admission. “If you can’t trust yourself—“ “I can trust myself.” Justin declared. “Then I see no reason why you can’t work for me.” Brian returned. Justin considered his words. He stared into Brian’s warm hazel eyes and realized the man was leveling with him. Justin nodded. “I guess there’s no harm is trying.” Brian hid his delight behind a mask of mild approval. It was the beginning. He knew it even if Justin didn’t. ***************************