Endings and Beginnings - Book 3 
Chapter 9 

Day became weeks then suddenly April was upon them. Justin awoke humming a familiar song. He didn’t know the name of it, but knew the tune by heart. It now felt like an old friend to his lips as he continued to enjoy the unexplainable emotions he always felt anytime it found its way into his morning. 


Ethan had always teased him about it. He said it sounded like something from a fifties sitcom. He’d expertly announced one day that it was from the soundtrack of an old Patrick Swazye movie. The two men had rented it even though Justin had watched the movie before and didn’t recall the song. Ethan had been forced to wash dishes for a week after losing the bet. Patrick had made watching the movie more than worth the two hours but the song had never appeared. 


Justin never knew why he woke from time to time humming it, but anytime that he did, he knew that he’d had a remarkable dream. He would wake up in an excellent mood, humming the tune, and hard as a rock. It was a strange phenomena but one that he found more enjoyable than concerning. He found it especially welcome this morning as it managed to lift him out of the funk he had been wallowing in off and on for the last few weeks. He found that he enjoyed anything that took his mind off of Brian. 


As he walked into the Center he continued to hum the song, a huge smile on his face. Stephen reached for Teresa who was standing in the door of the day care. Wrapping himself around the woman momentarily, he immediately began squirming to be released into the room with the other children. 


“You’re in a good mood.” The woman observed as he kissed Stephen on his head then helped the wiggling boy remove his sweater. “You’re humming again.” She winked at Justin hoping that the humming meant that things in his personal life were as good as his professional life. “Things must be going good between you and the boss.” She commented raising one eyebrow hoping for more information. Justin rolled his eyes indicated that there was no way he was about to discuss his and Max’s relationship with anyone. 


He really wasn’t sure what to say about it to be honest. They had gone out quite a bit and Max had gotten into the habit of dropping by a few times each week with carry out and dvds for all three of them to watch. Justin found it comfortable but something was definitely missing between them. He suspected it was sex. It wasn’t for lack of wanting on Max’s part. Justin knew he was the sole reason that they had yet to take their relationship to that level. There was just something about going to bed with his boss that made him feel uncomfortable. Besides he knew he would be thinking of Brian the entire time that they were together. It just didn’t seem fair to use Max that way. 


“I’m in a good mood, because I had a great dream.” Justin explained. “I just do this sometimes. It’s weird.” Justin leaned down kissing his son goodbye. He and Teresa then watched as the boy impatiently scrambled into the room with the other kids. “I have a meeting with Max at lunch today so I won’t be able to come down and eat with Stephen.” He apologized. 


“He’ll be fine.” Teresa reassured him still wanting to probe for more information. The entire Center staff was curious about the blonde and Center Director. Justin nodded. He knew she was telling him the truth and that Stephen would be fine, but he was still going to miss seeing his son. It was a bright spot in his day. It was one of the biggest perks to having his current job. 


Turning he headed up the stairs. Max heard the man and leaned against the landing listening to Justin. He’d never heard the blond hum before but hoped that the bright mood had something to do with their escalating relationship. Max recognized the song from somewhere. It was older. He never would have thought that Justin would choose that particular song but was glad to hear him so up for a change. He’d seemed down ever since the trip to Toronto. Max wanted to believe it had something to do with work but knew it had more to do with Brian Kinney. Deciding to sweep the man off of his feet, Max made his move as soon as the blond head came into sight. 


“Save the last dance for me.” He sang as he grabbed Justin by the hand and playfully whirled him around the hall. Justin laughed and allowed Max to pull him close then fell into step. His smile faded quickly as he felt the tale tail signs of an eminent panic attack. 


Justin stopped him as he stepped out of the man’s grip, his breath now coming in rapid ragged gasps. His vision tunneled as he fought to steady himself. He placed one hand to the side of his head fingering the scar there along his hair line as he used his other hand to hold himself up against the wall. . There was something about the words and Max’s actions that seemed connected to his dream. He had an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. It was more than that though. He felt the wave of panic surge over him. Max was by his side in a heartbeat his arm supporting him. 


“Justin?” Max asked his voice filled with concern. The sound of another man’s voice echoed in Justin’s mind. It sounded odd as if it were reverberating inside a cave. It was calling his name. He knew that voice, but why now. Why was it echoing? Why did it fill him with a feeling of elation and terror all in that one moment? Justin took several deep breaths. He hadn’t reacted like this to anything in a long time. He hardly ever had panic attacks anymore. 


“I’m fine. It’s just there’s something about all of this that reminded me of something.” He offered weakly still trying to connect all that was rushing through his mind. He took another deep breath and forced his racing heart to slow down. 


“Reminded you of what?” Max asked still obviously concerned and curious. 


“I’m not sure.” Justin finally shook his head and laughed feeling embarrassed and exposed in the hallway. He looked around nervously and was relieved that no one else has seen. “I wake humming this song from time to time. I’m always in this great mood. I know it’s from some amazing dream but I can’t ever remember it. I use to try to remember it but I don’t know; I know this sounds weird. When I wake it’s like on the tip of my brain but when I reach for it, well, it suddenly just disappears.” Max could hear the frustration and regret in the other man’s voice. Justin continued. “I use to try to figure it out but for the last year or so I have just been accepting the mood and given up on ever understanding where it comes from.” He ended feeling ridiculous as he stepped away from Max distancing himself from any comfort the man wanted to offer. Justin wasn’t sure how but he knew that Max’s comfort wasn’t what he needed at the moment. 


“How do you know it was a good dream?” Max teased trying to lighten the mood as they entered the blonde’s office. Justin blushed slightly which deepened Max’s curiosity. 


“I just know.” He gave the man a meaningful look. Even though they had been spending a lot of time together lately the two men had yet to have sex. They’d had some serious make out sessions but Justin had always put on the breaks anytime Max tried to push it further. Max had joked about firing him for being a tease but that had seemed to put more strain on the situation. Justin had never been convinced that there hadn’t been just a bit of truth beneath the threat. It was a ticklish spot that neither man knew how to navigate. Max knew exactly the message Justin was conveying with the look. 


“Oh.” Max whistled. “Anyone I know?” He asked hopefully. 


“I wish I knew. I can’t ever remember.” Justin replied. 


“How long has this been happening?” Max asked seating himself and propping his feet up on Justin’s desk. Justin paused to consider. 


“It started about the time that Stephen was born. It was a few months later. I woke up for an entire week humming that song, smiling and well you know—“ His voice trailed off. 


“Hard.” Max clarified. Justin nodded with a smirk. “Odd.” 


“You’d never heard that song before?” Max continued. 


“You know I have but I can’t remember where. What did you say the words were?” Justin asked as he seated himself behind his desk giving Max’s feet a playful glare. Max lowered his feet. 


“Well I don’t know all of it, but the chorus I think goes ‘save the last dance for me.’ “ He sang slightly off key. Justin nodded enjoying the man’s attempt. “Ring any bells?” Max asked. 


“No.” Justin admitted. He rubbed his forehead again trying to remember. “Oh well. I guess it really doesn’t matter.” He dismissed. “It’s nice waking up feeling so great. I ‘m almost afraid to figure it out; I’m afraid it will stop happening. Maybe I should just take it for what it is and leave it alone.” Justin concluded. Max nodded his agreement, but his concern lingered. It was obvious that Justin had no intention of discussing the incident further so Max relented and changed the subject. 


“So are we still on for this weekend?” He asked glancing up at Justin trying to read his expression. 


“Yeah.” Justin agreed. “Deb insisted so you’re in the club.” 


“Will Brian be there?” He asked resenting the nervous lilt to his voice. Justin rose and made his way around his desk until he was sitting on the corner where Max’s feet had been resting. 


“I have no idea. I haven’t seen him in three or four weeks.” He confessed. Max raised an eyebrow. 


“Really?” He asked. He knew that the two men were no longer flirting with the idea of reconciliation but had no idea that Kinney had disappeared entirely from the scene. 


“Really. I guess he’s been busy.” Justin tried to hide his disappointment but Max noted it with an air of irritation. “ I haven’t heard a word from him. I saw him a week or two after we got back from Toronto then a couple of times at the Diner but that’s it.” Justin had been as surprised as Max that Brian had been so scarce. He’d left a couple of messages at the loft hoping that maybe they could have lunch but his calls had never been returned. Justin was starting to wonder if Brian was angry about the way things had worked out. He thought that their decision had been amiable but now he just wasn’t so sure. 


“Are you okay?” Max asked. He wasn’t sure why he was asking. He certainly didn’t want to know how much Justin was missing Kinney, but there was a sadness to the blond that compelled him to find out what the source of it was. He had to hear it with his own ears. He had believed that he was slowly weaning the younger man but now he felt insecure and frustrated. 


“Yeah.” Justin dismissed it, obviously not okay but not willing to discuss it. Max had his answer and it had been as he had feared. The blond was still hung up on Kinney and Kinney had made his choice and written the blond out of his life. Max made a mental note to contact Novotny before the family dinner at Debbie Novotny’s home. He needed to know how the man’s plan was coming. He certainly had no intentions of being in a room, a captive audience to the Brian and Justin show. 


“Well let’s get the summer schedule set. Do you have your PIFA schedule?” He asked changing the subject and was rewarded by a relieved sigh and smile from Justin. Max suppressed his frustration. He’d tried everything that he could think of to seduce the young man. What had started as a challenge to bed Justin had now evolved into a sincere desire to have a relationship with him. He tried to comfort himself with the knowledge that being asked to a ‘family’ dinner at Deb’s was a huge step forward. It wasn’t what he had hoped but it was something. It wasn’t enough but for the time being it seemed all he was going to get. 


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“Tyler.” Brian rose and headed for the door of his office. The tall Texan pulled it shut as their lips crashed together in a passionate embrace. 


“I’ve missed you Brian.” Tyler kissed him again once the brunet had pulled away. Brian smiled and nodded pulling away. “You’ve only been gone for two days.” Brian rolled his eyes. 


“Doesn’t matter.” Tyler purred back. “You smell great.” Tyler watched as Brian headed back towards his desk. 


Over the last six weeks Tyler Mayhan of Texfield Petroleum had been in The Pitts off and on several times as the final steps of the campaign were being finalized. What had started as a drunken fuck in the backroom of Babylon had evolved into a weekend locked away in a suite at the Marriot to the point now where Tyler enjoyed a couple of drawers in a dresser in the ad man’s loft. Things were moving quickly. 


Brian knew that his feelings for Tyler were nothing like what he still felt for Justin but at the same time Brian knew that Tyler accepted his lifestyle and had no problem sharing their bed and their bodies with others from time to time. Just last weekend they had managed to fuck each other’s brains out as well as several other men’s. It had been hot. Brian had enjoyed every minute of it. There had been no disappointment or judgment. Just good old fashion orgy sex. 


“When did you get back into town?” Brian asked sitting behind his desk. 


“I just drove here from the airport.” Tyler planted himself in the chair across from Brian’s desk propping his feet up on the ad man’s desk. Brian immediately leaned forward and knocked them off bringing a chuckle from the Texan. 


“Anyone hot on the plane?” Brian asked making sure that Tyler stayed clear on where they stood. 


“Nope, but I did see a hot model in the lobby when I came in a minute ago. You know him?” Tyler asked hoping maybe that they could work the blond into their plans for the evening. 


Brian shook his head. “Haven’t had the pleasure.” He offered. 


“We’ll have to see what we can do about that.” Tyler rose then headed back to the door. “I know you’re busy so I’ll catch you tonight. Come by and grab me.” 


“How could I possibly turn down an offer like that?” Brian raised one eyebrow. Tyler smirked. 


Just as Tyler opened the door Michael entered. 


“Tyler.” Michael greeted. Michael was happy to see the handsome oil man again. He’d been relieved when Tyler had not only agreed to be a distraction for Brian but also to keep Michael’s interference a secret as well. From the first time he’d laid his eyes on the gorgeous oilman Michael had suspected that he was just the medicine to cure Brian of his obsession with a certain spoiled manipulative blond. It was great to see how well his plan was working. “Good to see you.” Michael smiled up at the man. 


“Yeah.” Tyler casually dismissed the other man realizing he couldn’t risk giving away their connection. He threw a look over his shoulder at Brian, a promise of an interesting night. “I’ll leave you two boys to it.” He offered moving past the smaller man. 


“You in town thru Sunday?” Michael asked ignoring Brian for the moment. Michael had received a concerned call from Max earlier and knew this was his chance to keep things on track. 


“I’m in town for the next ten days.” He offered giving Brian another meaningful look. 


“Great. Sunday night my mom is getting everyone together. You can come with Brian. Everyone’s been curious as to who has been keeping Brian so occupied.” Tyler glanced at Brian raising an eyebrow waiting to see if the man would support his being a part of the gathering or not. Seeing that Brian had reservations, Tyler decided to make up his own mind. 


“I’d love to.” He announced without looking at Brian. Brian obviously didn’t want him there. He wondered why that would be, but knew that the best way for him to discover the real reason was to actually attend. 


“Great. I’ll see you then.” Michael gushed then watched as the man moved out of the office and down the hall. 


“Why the fuck did you do that for?” Brian hissed. Now he had to find a way to convince Tyler that they should skip the dinner. 


“Why shouldn’t I?” Michael asked defensively. “Justin’s bringing Max.” 


That announcement brought Brian up short. Justin was bringing Max? What the fuck was up with that? He wondered. As he continued to consider the ramifications of what Michael had just revealed he found himself glad that the man had invited Mayhan. In fact he was almost looking forward to it now. He hadn’t seen Justin in weeks. He’d given the man the chance to see what his demands had cost him. Obviously in that time Justin had settled for the likes of Max Collins to keep his bed warm. Brian shuddered. Well if Justin was bringing Max to rub his nose in their relationship, two could play that game. 


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“Are you sure?” Lindsay asked looking over at Melanie as they both got dressed to head out to Deb’s for dinner. 


“Positive. He asked me if he should bring a bottle of wine. I told him the box stuff would fit in better than anything expensive.” Melanie laughed buttoning her jeans. 


“I can’t believe he’s coming with Justin.” Lindsay stated incredulously. 


“Well believe it.” Melanie affirmed. 


“I just thought that they would work things out this time.” Lindsay admitted feeling sad for Brian and for Justin. She knew as well as anyone that Brian could be a handful at times but over the years she had learned that he was more than worth the effort. Surely Justin knew that as well. 


“What do you think it was?” Melanie asked picking up her sweater. 


“The tricking.” Lindsay replied. “Justin didn’t want it happening around Stephen.” 


“That sounds like more than an educated guess.” Melanie stopped at the door and looked back at her partner. 


“I had lunch with him a week or so ago. He didn’t say anything about Max then.” Lindsay stated, her doubts about Max and Justin evident. 


“Well Max stopped me after the board meeting to ask about the wine. He said that Justin had checked it out with Deb and then went on to tell me how elated he was to be included in the family dinner.” She continued to stare into Lindsay’s eyes. The blonde finally looked away. She didn’t care what Max had said. She had seen the hurt in Justin’s eyes. She had sensed the conflict within him where Brian was concerned. There was no way he and Max were anything other than friends. 


“Grab Gus. I’ll meet you in the car.” Lindsay replied lightly. She waited until she heard Melanie’s feet on the steps before picking up the cordless phone. She quickly dialed the familiar number. 


“Brian.” She greeted. “Please tell me you and Justin are working things out and that Max Collins isn’t his next lover.” 


“Brian’s in the shower.” Tyler replied. 


“Oh.” The woman sounded embarrassed. “I thought you were him. You sound alike.” 


“You think so?” Lindsay shook her head hearing the man’s obvious accent now. “You want to leave a message?” The man offered. 


“Yes.” She replied feeling like an idiot. “Just tell him Lindsay called.” 


“Lindsay as in Gus’ Mom?” Tyler asked his smile coming over the receiver. 


“Yeah. Just tell Brian I need to talk to him about something okay?” She asked knowing that Melanie would come looking for her if she didn’t get to the car soon. She wondered when Brian had started discussing Gus with his tricks. 


“Sure.” Tyler heard the woman hang up. 


“Who was that?” Brian asked as he stood behind the man. Tyler turned taking in the delicious sight of the wet man wrapped only in a white towel and quickly dismissed the call. 


“No one.” He smiled as he moseyed closer. Brian shook his head but enjoyed the leer in the piercing green eyes. He felt Tyler’s hands come and release the towel. They both watched it drop to the floor. “Oops.” Tyler smiled then pulled Brian into a heated kiss. Brian felt their mouths fight for domination and realized that it was this battle epitomized the problem with Tyler. They continued to duel as they moved toward the bed. Tyler and he were well matched, but almost too evenly matched. Neither liked to bottom much, both wanted to take the reins and they both had an insatiable sexual appetite. At least with Justin, Brian would surface for food from time to time. With Tyler the man seemed to survive on JB and cum, same as Brian. 


“Who was on the phone?” Brian asked again as he used his superior strength to roll Tyler beneath him. 


“Does it matter?” Tyler stopped struggling and merely enjoyed the weight of the perfect body lying on top of him. 


“Depends.” Brian confessed. “On who it was.” He kissed the other man once more then moved down his neck. Tyler moaned and threw his head back giving Brian better access. 


“It was Gus’ mom.” He replied. Brian pulled back. 


“Is Gus okay?” He asked his brow suddenly furrowed. Tyler chuckled softly as Brian suddenly converted from erotic lover to concerned parent in one second flat. 


“I don’t know.” He admitted. Brian nodded then slowly began moving away from Tyler. 


“Where are you going?” Tyler asked in confused irritation. 


“To call and check.” Brian was already headed down the steps. 


“Call later. I thought we were in the middle of something.” Tyler’s voice sounded more frustrated than annoyed. 


“He’s my son. He comes first.” Brian replied. 


“You’re shitting me right?” Tyler propped himself up on his elbow as he watched Brian return to the bedroom cradling the wireless phone. 


“No. I am not shitting you.” Brian’s annoyance was obvious. Tyler furrowed his brow again. This was a new twist. He studied the man before him. Suddenly Brian seemed less mysterious and erotic as he stood calling to check on the status of a five year old. 


“For fuck sake.” Tyler heaved as he grabbed for his clothes and began to dress. “Quit acting so parental.” He complained. He didn’t like losing the image he had of the ad man. He wanted the wild man who’d introduced him to his first orgy last weekend not someone’s father. 


“Quit acting like a child.” Brian scolded the other man. Tyler threw him a dangerous glare then headed into the bathroom. Brian shook his head. He’d never seen this side of Tyler and found it far less attractive. After waiting for a couple more rings, Brian finally gave in and hung up the phone. The Munchers would be at Deb’s. He’d see them there. 


Setting the phone by the bed he stared back at the bathroom door. He sighed as he reached for his own clothes. He couldn’t miss the irony of the moment. Tyler was willing to play sexual games but had no tolerance for the realities of Brian’s life where as Justin no longer wanted to play the games but was able to handle any realities that came their way. They were so opposite. Tyler was like a dark storm raging on the sea where as Justin was like a bright sunrise coming up over a tranquil beach. 


Brian stopped himself as he suddenly remembered the way Justin had called him ‘his sunset’. He felt a longing that he had been trying to ignore for the last few weeks spring to life once more. Of course it never left the man completely. Even after three years apart, Brian had still felt it. He knew he was just fooling himself to believe he would be able to get over Justin. He’d never be free of the blond. He would always haunt him visiting in the deep of night whispering promises that Brian knew now would never be kept. 


He wondered how Justin was fairing now that they were apart. He’d hardly seen him in the last few weeks. Tonight he would be at Deb’s with Max. Brian wasn’t sure how he felt about that but suspected that seeing the two men together would be painful. 


“Brian.” Looking up he found Tyler standing in the bathroom door. 


“About that.” He motioned toward the phone. 


“It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.” Brian stated absently as he buttoned the black button down he had chosen for the night. He really didn’t need or want any sort of groveling from the oilman. To his surprise Tyler moved forward then waited for Brian to look up before he captured the man’s lips in a tender kiss. As he pulled back he was laughing softly. Brian’s gaze turned to confusion as the man replied. 


“I never apologize, Brian. Every man knows that sorry’s bullshit.” Tyler whispered the smile never leaving his lips. “That’s something you should remember.” Brian watched as Tyler turned headed for the door of the loft. He considered the man’s advice wondering how much differently it would have sounded to him if he had heard it at 17. 


As Brian grabbed his keys and followed the tall dark Texan out the door he knew that sorry wasn’t bullshit. Because he was already sorry that he hadn’t found a way out of the family dinner at Deb’s. He wondered what else he’d be sorry for before the night was over. 


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