Endings and Beginnings - Book 2 Chapter 13 The conference went well the next day. It was busy though as Justin had five sessions to attend plus had wanted to make it to the vendor’s area before it closed for the evening. Once he arrived back at his room he had felt completely exhausted. Just as he laid down on his bed feeling his body sinking into the comfortable mattress, Justin’s cell phone rang. “Hello?” He mumbled. “Sunshine.” Brian greeted him. “How is the little traveler?” He asked playfully. Justin smiled into the phone. “Tired.” He admitted. “Today was long.” Brian laughed. “You sound tired. Got another big one tomorrow?” He asked. He wanted to find out what Justin’s plans were so that he would know where to find the other man when he arrived. “No not really. I have some stuff in the morning but then I was thinking of hitting this museum over on Queen’s Park. I will probably spend my afternoon there. I want to get some pictures to use for a ceramics class we’ve had some requests for. It is an amazing place from what I hear.” Brian could hear the excitement in his voice. “Sounds like it.” Brian could just picture Justin sitting in the museum, sketch pad in hand, oblivious to all that was happening around him as he lost himself in the art. “What’s the name of this place?” “Gardiner’s Museum of Ceramic Art, it has artifacts that go back all the way to around 3000 BC, stuff from all over the world old and new.” His voice didn’t sound nearly so tired now that he was focused on his excursion he had planned for himself the next day. “Well I hope you have a great time. What are you doing for dinner tonight?” Brian asked. “Max made reservations for us at this place called Wish. I have no idea about it. I am honestly too tired to go. I would much rather just get some room service and sleep, but he seemed really excited this morning so I don’t want to disappoint him.” He said seemingly to convince himself more than Brian. “Well have fun and remember—“ “I know I know. Keep my eye on him.” Justin sighed. “Brian you have to believe him this guy doesn’t want in my pants. He just wants to be my friend.” Brian shook his head and sighed in frustration. He wished he could find a way to open Justin’s eyes but knew that there was nothing that he could say to prove his point. Knowing Justin it would take the man actually throwing himself at Justin to convince the blonde. “Whatever Justin.” He stated coolly. “I just know what I’ve seen.” Justin refused to discuss it further so he changed the subject. After hearing about how well Stephen and Gus were getting along they moved on to Brian’s day. He had been assigned a new client. It was a national rental car company. Brian found it boring, but Justin was impressed. Justin heard a knock on his door and realized it was Max. “Brian I have to run. Max is at my door. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He offered rushing to look at himself in the mirror. “Okay Sunshine. Until tomorrow. You be good.” He joked. “I’m always good or have you already forgotten how good I am?” He teased. Brian felt his body respond to the seductive tone of the other man’s voice. He hated the fact that Max was so close to Justin at that moment.. “Goodnight.” Brian said and hung up. Justin realized looking in the mirror that his clothes were too wrinkled to pass. He opened the door to find Max waiting patiently. “Sorry I was on the phone.” He gestured for Max to enter. “I also need a minute to change. Do you mind?” He asked. Max shook his head and moved to take a seat at Justin’s desk. He watched as Justin shuffled through his clothes finally deciding upon a cashmere sweater and dark slacks. Without thinking Justin quickly removed his shirt and pants from earlier and began pulling the sweater over his head. Max watched his eyes fixed on the pale slim body in front of him. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair carefully allowing his eyes to roam up and down the body before him. Walking up behind Justin he roughly grabbed the man and spun him in his arms. The blond was shocked. Before he could react, Max was attacking his mouth devouring it like a hungry man. Justin struggled to pull free of the man but found he could not. Max delighted in the smaller man's struggle as much as he did the taste of his mouth. It had been too long and he desperately needed more of Justin. Feeling light headed from the crushing kiss, Justin found himself being drug towards the bed. Max roughly pushed him down onto the bed, pinning Justin’s hands above his head and he continued to work his way down his neck. Everything was happening so fast. Jutin couldn't get any leverage. He couldn't seem to fight the larger man off. He felt a panic rising within him. “Max. Max.” Justin begged but the other man ignored his pleas as he pressed Justin’s body deeper into the mattress. Justin continued to struggle beneath him working to free himself. Max took the smaller man’s mouth once more, Justin’s cries lost in breathless moans as they both gave themselves over to their mutual desire. “Max. Max” Justin’s voice called loudly. “Max?” Max Collins shook his head to clear it. Justin was now kneeling down in front of him a concerned expression on his face. “Max, are you alright? I called you several times.” Max felt himself blush under the other man’s gaze. “Where were you?” Justin joked. “No where. Guess I too am a bit worn out. Must have dozed off for a second. “ He forced a laugh knowing that if he rose at that moment Justin would know exactly what he had been thinking about. He pushed out a forced breath and tried to regain his composure following the vivid daydream. It had felt so real. He had to work to convince his mind and body that it hadn't been. “You ready to go?” Justin asked innocently oblivious to the other man's thoughts. Max took one look at the other man and knew the last thing he wanted to do was leave this room, but he had to if he was going to maintain his fragile grip on his self control. He wanted to be here with Justin but didn’t trust himself to do so. “Sure.” He rose holding his jacket strategically in front of him. If Justin had noticed he was too polite to mention it. “So is it within walking distance?” Justin asked. “It’s way too cold tonight to walk anywhere. Let’s grab cab.” Justin nodded as he hit the elevator button. “So were you talking with Brian when I arrived or Stephen?” Max asked curious. “Brian.” Justin admitted then hit the button for the lobby. Max sighed. “How are things between the two of you? Happy?” Justin looked over for a moment studying the other man intensely before answering. “They are good. Not perfect, but then again nothing is perfect.” “That’s true nothing is perfect.” Max smiled over at him. The doorman hailed a cab and they were off. They rode in silence as the exhaustion of the day subdued Justin and Max remained lost in thought as to how he could make up some ground with the beautiful blond sitting next to him. Arriving at Wish they were immediately taken in by the atmosphere of the restaurant. Justin loved it. He looked back at Max rewarding the other man with a bright Sunshine smile. “How did you learn about this place?” He asked as they were led to their table. “A guy in one of my sessions was talking about it. It sounded like some place you might like.” Justin smirked. “You picked it for me?” He asked in wonder. “Yeah. It’s been a while since you’ve had some time to just have some fun. I wanted this trip to be special for you.” Max smiled up at him shyly. Justin found it hard to take his eyes off of the man. It amazed him that Max would have thought of him. When he and Ethan had been together he had had little say in where they had gone or when. He had become accustomed to just being a long for the ride. The same had been true when he and Brian had been together. Brian had never been the thoughtful type. In the past he would do anything that Justin asked of him but as far as sitting down and trying to figure out what it was that he needed well that just didn't happen. “I hope you like it.” Max’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. “I love it. It’s great. Really it feels so –“ “Hip?” Max joked and Justin laughed back. “Well we must each dry a black martini. They are the best in the city.” Justin nodded. Their waiter arrived and they quickly placed their drink order. “Cool music.” Justin commented as they looked over their menus. He moved his head a bit to the rhythm. Max sat enjoying the view for a moment. Their drinks arrived. Max lifted his high and stared over at Justin. “To friendship.” He offered. Justin raised his glass in response. After two more martinis and not nearly enough food the two men managed to get a cab and get back to their hotel. “No way?” Justin laughed in shock. “Your professor? No way.” Max nodded slyly. “My professor, in fact, it was two of my professors, and the curator of the Modern Museum of Art on campus.” “No fucking way! Get out.” Justin pushed the man slightly and he fell back against the back of the elevator. “Oops. Sorry.” Justin laughed reaching to pull Max back onto his feet. Max pulled at him playfully managing to bring the blond down on top of him. It was then that their lips were only inches apart. Justin paused for just a moment as he felt Max’s hand gently trace his jaw line. Even through the drunken haze Justin heard his inner voice screaming for him to move away. “Justin.” The other man whispered his name making it sound more like a prayer than a request. Running his fingers into the younger man’s hair he brought their mouths together. The kiss for soft and tender. It was a brief connection before they both pulled away staring into each other’s eyes. Once more Max pulled Justin’s mouth down to his, but this time he held him more forcefully, caressing his lips with his tongue before taking the kiss deeper. Justin moaned into the other man’s mouth then pulled back. He could feel his resolve slipping. Justin realized that too much alcohol plus too little Brian made for a weak Justin. “Max.” He began but then felt the other man’s lips on his again. He pulled back but realized Max was following him maintaining the contact. He finally found his footing and stood leaving the other man on the ground. “This is a mistake.” “Of course it is.” Max returned reaching up to Justin. Justin tentatively reached down then helped to pull the man to his feet. “I’ve had way too much to drink. I apologize, Justin. I hope that you will forgive me. I had no right to—“ “It wasn’t just you.” Justin protested. “There is nothing to forgive.” He dismissed. “Well that is very generous of you, but I’m afraid that I knew better than to drink so much around you. We both know how much I care for you. It is hard for me to resist you sober let alone when my judgment is impaired.” He smiled at Justin and waited for the man to look into his eyes. It took a moment but Justin finally looked at the other man. “Max I don’t know what to say.” Max leaned in and kissed him one last time. Once he pulled away he leaned his cheek against Justin’s and sighed. “Don’t say anything.” As if on cue the elevator door opened and Max walked out first. Justin followed slowly behind him. “I’d ask you to my room but I know you would refuse.” Justin merely stared at him for a moment really very unsure and wishing he had stopped at one martini. “I-- I—“ “Do you think he is being monogamous with you Justin? Do you think he isn’t fucking around behind your back?” Max asked. Justin looked nervously around the hallway. This wasn’t the time or the place for this conversation. “I can’t worry about what he does Max. I am only concerned about what I do. You are my boss. I have a son to think about. Pretty stupid don’t you think if I fucked my boss?” He asked keeping Brian out of this conversation. It had been wrong for Max to bring him up. “Then you’re fired.” Max joked Justin hesitated for a moment wondering if the man was serious. He looked serious but then Max smiled and Justin sighed with relief. Max shrugged. “I understand. Just know though that I do care for you Justin and unlike a certain stud I would never fuck around on you or Stephen. You would be enough for me. You would be all that I ever wanted.” The words echoed in on him from another time and another place. They had been spoken by another man. Justin shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. The words and martinis conspiring against him making his head spin. “I don’t know what to say.” Justin repeated lost of the moment in the loft three years before repeating Ethan's words to Brian only to be pushed away. “Don’t say anything. Just think about it Justin. When you are lying in your bed tonight wondering where Brian is and who he is fucking think about me and what I’ve said.” Max turned and opened his room door disappearing within without turning back around. Justin stood for a few minutes more confused and still hazy from the alcohol. How had things gotten so serious so fast? One minute Max is talking about fucking a professor while in college and then suddenly he was kissing Justin on the elevator floor. The things he had said about Brian, while true, had been none of his business. Turning to go to his room, Justin found himself wondering in spite of himself who Brian was with and where he was at that moment. He hated to admit it but the thought brought back an old pain one that Justin never wanted to feel again. ******************** “I’m sure he just misses him.” Brian whispered staring down at the little blond head in the crib next to Gus’ bed. “He was so quiet today. It wasn’t like him at all.” Lindsay said sounding concerned. “He didn’t eat hardly a bite all day. I hope he isn’t getting sick.” She reached down and stroked his head. “He just misses Justin. I hope you didn’t tell Justin that you thought Stephen was sick.” He stared over at her. “No he called from a restaurant. He sounded like he was having a good time. I didn’t want to worry him.” Lindsay looked at Brian for a long moment. “What?” He asked. “What do you want from me?” She continued to stare. “Oh, no! No way! This is going to be my weekend with Justin. This is going to be our chance to be together so I can keep Max away from him.” “Brian?” She whined. “You know Justin is going to ask you and you will have to tell him that Stephen is not doing very well without him. How fun will the weekend be after that?” Brian rolled his eyes. “The kid doesn’t even have a passport.” He threw out. “Does he need one? It is only Canada? ” She shot back. “Hell I don’t know. Let’s go look it up on your computer.” He offered looking back down at the little boy snuggled under his blanket, Elmo secure in his arms. Maybe he did need to see his Daddy. Maybe this was too much to ask of the little boy. Together they tiptoed out of the room and made their way downstairs. After spending a few tense moments on the internet Lindsay sighed loudly as Brian pushed back from the desk. “He has to have a passport.” Brian stated sounding defeated. He had begun to take to the idea of surprising Justin with Stephen. “We got Gus one back when Mel and I went to Mexico for the Family Fiesta. I wonder since Ethan traveled so much if Stephen already has one?” Brian smirked and picked up the phone. He only knew one other person besides Justin who would know and might have a clue where to find it if Stephen did have passport. “Hello?” “Molly, it’s Brian. Is your Mother around?” He asked looking up at Lindsay. “Hello Brian.” Jennifer Taylor’s voice sounded a little strained. Brian realized that he had only seen her once since she had walked in that morning after Justin and he had warmed up his new house. “Hi, Jennifer how is your trip going?” He asked. “Good. How did you know where to reach me?” She wondered. “I am over here at Lindsay’s and Justin left her this number in case of an emergency.” “Oh.” Jennifer replied then as if his words had just sunk in continued on in a near panicked voice. “Are Stephen and Justin alright?” “Yes they are fine. Well Justin is fine. Stephen is having a bit of a hard time adjusting without Justin. I already had plans to fly up to surprise Justin tomorrow and was thinking of taking Stephen along with me—“ “Oh Brian, what a wonderful thing to do, Justin will be thrilled.” Jennifer cooed into the phone. “Well there’s one problem. He needs to have a passport in order to get into the country. I don’t suppose you know if he has one or not?” He mentally crossed his fingers. Now that he had adjusted the idea of including Stephen he realized that it was the right thing to do. There was no sense in the little boy being upset when it was within Brian’s power to fix that. “Yes he does. They went to Italy last year for a few weeks when Ethan was touring. Justin had it when he was packing. He always kept it in the top drawer of his dresser.” “Great!” Brian exclaimed. “I have his extra key but no way to get it to you.” She offered. Lindsay had already come over and was dangling a key in front of Brian. “Well your 1500 SAT kid actually gave another one to Lindsay here just in case she needed something from the house while he was gone.” “That’s Justin, always thinking.” Jennifer’s smile could be heard over the phone. “It’s a very nice thing that you are doing for him Brian. I hope it all works out. What exactly is going on with Stephen?” She sounded concerned. “He’s not eating very much and is very quiet. He’s not himself.” Brian offered. “If you don’t mind I’m going to check the flights to make sure I can get him on with me. Thanks for the help and if you hear from your son—“ “Mums the word.” Jennifer finished for him. “Goodnight Brian.” “Goodbye.” Brian hung up. “Did you say Gus has a passport already?” Lindsay nodded. “Why?” She wondered. “Well Stephen will have more fun if Gus is there and you and Melanie are already going out of town, so why not just let me take them both with me. Mikey is flying up too, so he can give me a hand on the plane and until we get to the hotel.” Lindsay’s smile widened. “Sounds like fun. I’ll go start packing.” She turned to go upstairs but his voice stopped her. He pulled up the airline information on her computer. Jotting down his flight numbers he handed the slip of paper to her before logging off once more. “Call the airline and see if I can add Gus and Stephen. I will run over to Justin’s and see if I can find Stephen’s passport.” He grabbed the key up from the desk where Lindsay had left it. “Grab some sweaters and his heavy coat if you see it.” She suggested. Brian returned slapping his credit card down on the desk. “Put the tickets on this.” He turned and was gone. ****************** Michael was waiting patiently for Brian when he finally pulled up in front of the building. If they didn’t get a move on they were going to be late. “What are they doing in the jeep?” Michael asked when he realized that Gus and Stephen were smiling up at him from the back seat. “They are traveling with us.” Brian offered picking up Michael’s bag and throwing in the back. “Are you out of your mind?” Michael asked taking his place in the front seat. “Probably, but nothing new there right?” Brian quipped. Michael stared over his shoulder at the boys in the back. “Hi Uncle Michael.” Gus greeted him. Stephen merely screamed out something that sounded like ‘Ki kull’ Gus burst into laughter. “He thinks your name is Kikull.” Michael smirked. “Do I want to know why you are doing this, feeling suicidal?” Michael asked his friend as they sped off for the airport. “It’s a surprise for Justin and that sad little boy sitting in the back who is missing his father.” Brian glanced over. Michael looked back again and realized that Stephen really did look sad sitting in his car seat. “Has he been asking for Justin?” He asked. “Only every other minute.” Brian shook his head. “I told him we were going to see him and I think it made it worse instead of better.” Once they arrived at the airport there was the cumbersome task of securing car seats and luggage. Brian made sure that he had both his and the boys passports with him. He carried Stephen while Gus walked along holding Michael’s hand. Stephen seemed tired and kept his head down on Brian’s shoulder. Brian stopped at the ticket counter. He leaned into the little boy kissing his forehead checking for a fever. He felt cool so Brian realized it was probably just more separation anxiety. He remembered Gus having some of that when he was younger. He wondered if losing Ethan was the reason Stephen was taking this so hard. He felt for the little boy. No wonder Justin hadn’t wanted to leave him, Brian had not even considered how Ethan’s loss figured into this separation. The flight seemed long but was fairly uneventful. Stephen actually slept most of the way while Gus entertained himself by coloring in his drawing book and reading comics with Michael. Brian was more relieved that Gus was there to keep Michael entertained than visa versa. He knew that Michael probably had another lecture on the evils of Justin Taylor to deliver. Brian was in no mood to listen to the man. He’d let Michael rag on Justin too many times the first go round. This time he was determined it was going to be different. Once they arrived at the airport they discovered that there was a shuttle that would take them directly to the hotel. Brian had never felt so relieved. Michael helped him wrestle the car seats and luggage through customs. “I wish I had my camera out of my bag. No one would ever believe Brain Kinney the picture of domestic life.” Michael teased. Brian was about to say something snide back but caught a glimpse of Stephen’s worried eyes and decided not to. The little boy was growing more apprehensive as the day went on. He would be so glad when he could place him into his father’s arms. It seemed so far away as exhaustion began setting in. Brian had gained a whole new respect for Lindsay in the last six hours. He was definitely buying her something very nice while he was in Toronto. ************************ Justin was sitting peacefully in the museum sketching an amazing Bolivian artifact when he heard a commotion near the entrance. He tried to block it out and remain focused on his work, but something about the voices sounded familiar. Turning to gaze in the direction of the noise he was greeted by a shrill squeal and a chorus of “Daddy” repeated over and over by his son. Justin leapt to his feet, his sketch book long forgotten, his eyes fixed on Stephen’s. The little boy launched himself out of Brian’s arms and into his Father’s. He reached his arms around the man’s neck and held on fast. Justin looked up meeting Brian’s gaze. He leaned up kissing the man for all he was worth. “I can’t believe you did this.” He stated tears in his eyes. “Did we surprise you?” Gus asked peeking out from behind Brian. Justin knelt down kissing Gus on the cheek and giving him a huge bear hug. You sure did. Stephen gave a yelp of complaint at being squished a bit. He pulled back to stare at his Father then once again secured himself around his neck once more. Justin realized that he would stay that way for a while yet. There was no way Stephen was letting him get away even for a minute. “I don’t know what to say?” Justin stuttered overwhelmed by Brian’s gesture. “Stephen was really sad. He was missing you so much Mommy couldn’t get him to eat so Dad was coming to see you and he decided to let us come too.” Justin shook his head trying to swallow the lump in his throat but failing. Moving Stephen to his hip he wrapped his free arm around Brian and pulled him into a tight embrace. “You will never know how much I needed this.” He tipped his head back and was rewarded with another deep kiss. “Yuck” Gus said as he began taking in his surroundings. “Cool.” He said looking over at some brightly colored pots from South America. “You look tired.” Justin stated. “I am. This kid shit is hard work.” He admitted and Justin laughed. “Let’s go back to the hotel and let you rest. I’ll take the kids and explore the underground. There is a toy store down there and then we can hit the hotel pool. Maybe you can meet us there. They have a great hot tub.” Brian arched his eyebrow. “I forgot their suits.” He admitted. “And my own.” Justin nodded. “Well then I guess we have some shopping to do while you are resting.” He made his way over to his pack and put his sketch pad back in it. “Gus, take your Dad’s hand. Let’s head back.” The little boy took Brian’s hand. Brian watched as Stephen refused to take his eyes off of his father for even a second. “You think he’s okay?” Brian asked. “He seems pretty focused.” “I was afraid it was too soon since--- well everything. I should have just told Max to forget it.” Justin felt a wave of guilt. “I’m sure he will be okay. He’ll probably just have that separation anxiety again for a few days or maybe a week or two.” He smiled over at Brian. “I’m sure your bringing him here has helped him more than you will know. Thank you so much Brian. I don’t know when I’ve ever had a nicer gift.” Brian felt warmed by the sunshine smile he received. “Well if you’re a good little boy I’ll let you give me a nice little gift in return.” He whispered once they started loading up into the cab. Justin wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “You’re memory must be going bad. There is nothing little about MY gift.” Justin teased. Brian kissed him once more realizing all the work had been worth it. Maybe going after someone wasn’t such a bad thing after all.