Endings and Beginnings - Book 2 Chapter 8 The meeting had gone well. Tyler Mayhan, CEO of Texfield Petroleum, was very impressed. Halfway through the handsome ad man’s presentation he began to realize that Mr. Brian Kinney and he had a lot more in common than either had first suspected. He waited for the man to finishing collecting his diagrams and demographic surveys before approaching him. Letting the room empty out some, Tyler waited patiently until he realized he was going to have to make the move. “Mr. Kinney.” He got Brian’s attention. “Mr. Mayhan. Is there something else you would like for me to go over?” Brian asked his natural confidence flowing smoothly from his lips. Tyler fought the urge to tell Brian that he wanted him to go over his body slowly with his tongue. Deciding instead to take it slower than he normally did with hot men that fell into his lap, Tyler cleared his throat and smiled. “Actually I was going to see if you would be interested in having dinner with me tonight?” Mayhan asked. He continued to watch the man collect his things. He loved the way he moved. His movements were efficient but at the same time fluid. “Well actually I have a flight to catch but maybe some other time.” Mayhan waited until Brian had his brief case together before he extended his hand. Brian gripped Tyler’s hand expecting a professional ‘may the best firm win’, but instead found his hand held by the CEO. Brian glanced down at his hand then back up into two piercing green eyes. Brian smirked unable to hide his amusement. Brian saw it then shining plainly in those emerald orbs. He had misjudged the man. It had to be the Texas heat or perhaps the over abundance of homophobes throwing off his gaydar. Smiling his typical predator smile, Brian saw it matched in Mayhan’s strong features. He was a good looking man. He was definitely Brian’s type. Tall, dark, muscular without being muscle bound, green eyes, beautiful smile, it was definitely a shame that he had that flight to catch. “Tell ya what?” The other man drawled releasing his hand and leaning against the conference table. Brian wanted to hate his accent but instead found it somehow arousing. “If we decide to go with Vanguard, I’ll be up your way in a couple of weeks. Maybe we could do it then?” He asked. Brian liked this guy. He was confident without being pushy. It was a fine line to walk in business, but something about Tyler told Brian that this was a man who was use to walking fine lines. “I’m sure we could DO IT.” Brian smirked. “And maybe I could even take you out for dinner as well.” Tyler laughed nodding his agreement. He was relieved that he hadn’t completely struck out with the brunet. Tyler was having a hard time hiding his disappointed about the man leaving but had already decided how he was going to pitch Vanguard to his Board. He’d definitely have another swing at this man. Stopping just inside the door he paused and turned back. “Mr. Kinney-“ “Brian.” Brian sat relaxed on the edge of the table watching Tyler Mayhan in a new light. “That was an excellent presentation. I meet with my Board in a week. We’ll be in touch.” Brian nodded. “Do you need a cab or do you have a car?” He offered. “Or even better, can I give you a lift?” “I could use a lift.” Brian agreed. He rose and followed the man out of the room. Brian knew from years of experience that the Board meeting, that Mayhan had mentioned, was merely a formality. Vanguard had Texfield Petroleum just as certainly as Brian would eventually have Tyler Mayhan. ******************* Ted and Emmett were having their first guests over since moving in together. It had been a couple of months and things were actually going pretty well for the two friends. Oh sure they had had a couple of nasty argument but nothing that a simple apology and some lukewarm make up sex hadn’t cured. Michael and Ben were quiet as they ate. Emmett had tried a new recipe. Taking his first bite Ted found himself torn between wanting to spit it back and swallowing it quickly along with the rest of his wine. Looking up he caught Michael’s gaze realizing he was in the same predicament. “Well everyone is certainly quiet tonight.” Emmett softly chirped taking his seat next to Ted and taking a long drink from his wine glass. He took a bite then grimaced. “This tastes like shit.” Emmett announced. Everyone at the table stared at him for a moment wondering if they should agree of try to consol him. “Looks like Teddy will be taking us all out for Sushi.” They all laughed and rose to dump the contents of their plates into the trash. “Can we just head to the Diner instead?” Michael asked. “I have been craving lemon bars all day.” “Not pregnant are you?” Ted teased. “Well it’s not from lack of trying.” Ben nibbled Michael’s ear as they laughed. Ted felt his stomach tighten at the sight of them. They were so comfortable with each other and yet there was passion there as well. He avoided looking at Emmett as he went to grab his coat from the bedroom. Emmett had noticed Ted’s reaction to the affection Ben and Michael were sharing. It was odd. He loved Ted. He really did. Everything was good between them. They agreed on most everything. They were both kind and considerate to each other. They shared similar interests. They were supportive and encouraging of one another, but somehow watching the interaction between Michael and Ben, it was as if a spot light had suddenly found a hole in their relationship. He and Ted never touched like this anymore. They never nibbled each other’s ears or teased about their sex life. At one time it had been like for he and Ted, before drugs and other distractions had separated them, but now it was different. As the two couples moved to their waiting cars Emmett realized he needed help to figure out what this revelation meant. He needed someone who understood how much Ted meant to him but also could see his point about the emptiness. He needed someone who could maybe give him some tips on coping with comfort versus passion. In the back of his mind he knew who it was that he needed to talk to. He wondered if it were too soon. Looking over at his sensible loyal lover he realized he would have to take that chance. He just hoped that Justin would be able to help him. *************** Gardiner burst into Brian’s office all smiles and cigars. “Well wonder stud you’ve done it again. Put it there partner.” He gave the last part a Texas drawl throwing out his hand as he offered Brian a cigar. Brian raised his eyebrow and smirked. “When did you get the call?” He asked lighting up. “Just now, it seems that Mr. Mayhan was very impressed with your presentation and in fact is anxious to get the campaign rolling. He wants to meet with you Friday.” Gardiner sat down across from Brian propping his feet up on the man’s desk. “This Friday?” Brian asked checking his schedule. “Yes. Is there a problem?” He asked leaning forward a bit. “No. I just need to get the Art Department to correct a couple of things on the mock up. What time does his flight get in?” He looked up. “Late. It will be a dinner meeting. I wanted to attend as well, but it looks like that might not be possible. Do you think you can handle this one alone?” The man asked causing Brian to almost laugh in his face. “I’ll try.” Brain quipped sarcastically. “Great. Then I’ll leave it up to you. I don’t have to remind you how much money this means to the firm do I?” Brian shook his head. Of course he knew how much money this account meant. He’d been the one to research it. Gardiner quickly removed his feet from Brian’s desk then flew out of his office as quickly as he had entered. “Handle this one alone.” Brian muttered in disgust under his breath. Just then his cell phone rang. “Yeah?” He answered penciling in the dinner with Mayhan on Friday. “Yeah.” Justin’s voice met his causing him to smile. “Hey shouldn’t you be knee deep in paint about now?” Brian asked glancing up at the clock. “I am.” He laughed back. Brian could hear the sound of children laughing in the background. “Richard please don’t paint Sally Ann. Paint the paper.” Justin corrected. Brian smiled again. “Sounds fun. Sally Ann?” Brian teased. “Yeah, she looks more like a work of art than an artist right now. I hope this paint washes out. I forgot to check the new supplies.” Justin stated suddenly distracted. Coming back around to why he had called, he continued. “Look, I don’t have but a second I wanted to see if we could have lunch. I haven’t seen you much in the last few weeks and I have big news that I want to share.” Brian heard Justin correct another of his students before he replied. “Great. Name the place?” He waited. “I’ll meet you at your office and then we can go. Is that okay?” “See you around noon then.” They both hung up. Brian turned his attention back to the Texfield Petroleum account. He didn’t have much time to finalize the details of the campaign before his meeting with the CEO. He had thought he would have an additional week to nail things down. Now he had a day and a half to get it together. He’d manage it, but it would mean a couple of very late nights. ****************** A few minutes before noon Brian heard a light tapping on his door, looking up he found Justin smiling in at him. He hadn’t realized just how much he had missed the blonde until he saw him standing only a few feet away. It took every ounce of willpower Brian had to keep from attacking the man where he stood. He’d managed a few trips to Babylon and Woody’s over the last few weeks but nothing seemed to satisfy what Brian was truly starving for. He gave the lean blonde a hungry look before turning his attention back to the last task he had to wrap up before he left. “Are you ready?” Justin beamed throwing a look around Brian’s uncharacteristically cluttered desk. “Yeah, just a minute.” He put a couple of notes on the mock up. He would drop it off to the Art Department on his way out. Justin had moved behind him and was gazing at the mock up over his left shoulder. “Perspective.” He said his voice sounding distant. “The images lack perspective. The front image is too large.” Brian looked back over his shoulder meeting Justin’s gaze. “Or maybe you want it that way?” Justin added with an apologetic tone. Brian smirked “No you’re right.” He grabbed another note and added that to the other two. “I’ve been trying to figure it out since before I made my initial pitch.” Brian was always impressed by Justin’s natural artistic ability. He wondered if Justin ever regretted not finishing his degree. “So can we go?” Justin asked. “Yeah I have to drop this off on the way out. Where do you want to eat?” Brian asked. “It’s a surprise.” Justin smiled at him. Brian had missed that mischievous look. He wasn’t sure what had brought it back but he was grateful to see it. Once they got to the street Brian headed for the parking garage, but Justin’s hand stopped him. Looking up he watched as Justin made his way over to a blue Volkswagen convertible Beetle. Brian raised an eyebrow waiting for some explanation. Justin turned smiling. “I have a car.” He announced proudly. “It’s mine. All mine. Well fifty-nine more payments and it will be.” Brian couldn’t help but enjoy his enthusiasm. He walked over and got in. It was nice and seemed perfect for Justin. He worried for a moment that his head was going to touch the roof but realized he had a couple of inches to spare. The color reminded him of Justin’s eyes. “Good for you. I read on the internet that dyke’s buy more Beetles than any other car.” He felt the punch in his arm as Justin pulled away from the curb. He smiled looking out the window. They drove for a few minutes. Brian was not sure where Justin was taking him. “What restaurants are out here?” Brian asked as they entered an area close to the PIFA campus. He had driven this road many times picking up Justin dropping him off, or attending some art show. There was one good deli. He saw it coming up on the left. Justin pulled in. “Stay in the car.” Justin commanded placing his hand on the man’s thigh to hold him in place. He then got out of the car and went inside. A few minutes later he returned with a sack full of food. “I like you car Justin but I’d rather eat at a table.” Brian commented. “Shut up and don’t touch the food.” Justin smiled but his voice was firm. Brian decided to play along. It seemed that the blonde did have some sort of method to his madness. Justin drove a few more blocks closer to the campus before turning down one of the residential streets. Brian took note of the trees lining the sidewalks and the older homes as they wound their way to their unknown destination. He was surprised when Justin pulled up into one of the drive ways. It was an older home. It was a one story white brick house with black trim and shutters. Justin stopped the car and got out. He waited for Brian to do that same. Brian was completely confused by now and ready to eat. He had wanted to have a private lunch with Justin so that they could catch up. Now it seemed that he would be sharing not only Justin but his sandwich as well. He followed Justin up the front steps and waited for him to ring the bell. Instead he man turned to him impishly and pulled out a key. He then turned and unlocked the door. “It’s mine. I rented it yesterday.” They walked in. Brian felt shocked. He followed Justin through the front door. “It’s my new home. What do you think?” Justin turned to him. Brian shook his head smiling. He began looking around. The place needed a bit of updating but there was something about it that felt right. He could see Justin here with Stephen. Justin grabbed his hand not waiting for him to respond. He began giving him the grand tour. He showed him the three bedrooms and bathroom. He admitted that the kitchen needed some modernizing but all the appliances worked. He then led him further back to a sunroom. He stood in the middle of the room and proudly declared it “My studio.” Brian suppressed his disappointment. He had somehow believed that by the time the blonde had the money to move out of his mother’s that the obvious choice would have been to move back into the loft. Glancing at the blonde who was beaming up at him, Brian chose to be a bigger man and wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist. “Good for you Sunshine. Good for you.” “You like it?” Justin asked pulling away excitedly and looking out the windows into the backyard. “It won’t get you laid.” He raised an eyebrow. “But it seems perfect for you and Stephen.” “I don’t need a house to get laid.” Justin replied throwing a glance back at the man over his shoulder. “I need a home for me and my son. I just fell in love with it. I’m not sure why. The moment I walked in I just knew.” “Your Mom help you find it.” Justin nodded. “She was showing the house down the street and saw the for rent sign in the yard.” He came back to Brian and grabbed his hand. He grabbed up the food sack from the kitchen as he led Brian back through the dining area. He pulled the man down onto the floor next to him. “Our first meal in my new house.” He smiled. Something about the sight of an impromptu picnic on the floor sent Brian spiraling back three years. Another picnic, another time, another location, he felt the walls closing in on him. “I’m honored.” Brian said sarcastically quipped trying to push away the memories of an aborted picnic years ago. “You should be.” Justin replied sounding a bit hurt. Brian looked at him for a long moment and wished he could take his words back. When Justin looked up again he had an unreadable look on his face. “Justin.” Brian began. “Drop it.” Justin said handing the man his food and reaching into the bag for his own. “I didn’t mean—“ “Sure you did. It’s what you do. Nothing is ever enough.” He sighed. “So just drop it. I should have known you wouldn’t get it. It’s okay.” The words felt like arrows and Brian found himself growing angrier. This was how it had been with Justin before. He always felt like he was somehow falling short. He didn’t want to go back down that road again. “No I don’t want to drop it. It’s not okay. It’s OBVIOUSLY not okay.” He waited until Justin looked up at him. “You’re right. It’s not. I wanted to share something with you. I wanted to share this,” Justin gestured to their surroundings. “You’ve had to stand by and deal with me during all the shit for the last four months. I wanted to share something good with you.” “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted to share something good with you too? Like the loft?” Brian spat. Justin’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “What?” Justin asked reeling a bit. Brian merely sighed. This was not the way he had planned on asking Justin to move in with him. It was too soon and too blunt. “You wanted me and Stephen to move in with you?” His voice sounded full of disbelief. Brian sighed again as the need to move filled him. He stuck his uneaten food back in the sack and stood. “Forget it.” He muttered. “I didn’t mean now. I mean later.”Justin mimicked his movement rising to his feet as well. He reached for the man but he pulled away. “Brian.” He called softly watching the man walk to the nearest window to look out. “It’s not that I’m not flattered.” He knew that was the wrong word before it was out of his mouth. Brian’s spine stiffened. Justin rushed to make up for the misstep. “I’m touched really. But you’re right it’s just too soon. I’m not ready. I’m not over him yet. Besides we’ve tried that before, a couple of times, and it didn’t go so well. I can’t imagine how it would be this time especially throwing a two year old into the mix.” He moved up behind Brian longing to touch him but fearing his reaction. Brian decided it was time to change subjects. This was starting to sound too much like the Brian and Justin show of old. “You’re close to PIFA.” Brian commented. Justin’s expression became wistful. “So?” Justin asked defensively. “So you should try to go back.” Brian returned speaking slowly for the logically impaired. “Brian, I just bought a car and rented a house. I work over forty hours a week and have an infant son to take care of. Do you really see me throwing in classes on top of that?” He walked away from the man. “Yeah, if you wanted to.” Brian turned and faced the man refusing to give an inch. Justin needed to be back in school. He was too talented to waste his life away teaching art to four year olds in a community center. “It isn’t about what I want Brain. It’s about what I have to do.” Justin sighed. He sometimes longed for those days when he was only responsible for himself. He wouldn’t take a million dollars for his son but it didn’t mean that he wasn’t exhausted from trying to meet all of his responsibilities. Brian shook his head. “I guess I overestimated you. I thought you wanted to be an artist. I never took you for a quitter, but then again you gave up on us.” Brian challenged. “I never gave up on us.” Justin defended. “You walked away Sunshine.” Brian quipped. “You pushed me away.” Justin argued. “I never broke the rules.” Justin flinched physically furrowing his brow. He finally lifted his gaze to meet Brian’s. “You’re right I did. I broke every fucking rule except I always got home before three.” “Give the boy a star.” Brian quipped sarcastically. Justin snorted in distain. “Keep the star. I don’t want it.” Justin paused watching the older man carefully. Why was he bringing up their past now just as they stood on the brink of their future? “So you got a full confession. Happy?” Justin’s voice was full of defeat. “Do I look happy?” Brian asked. Justin merely shook his head. “Why are you bringing up the past--- us, school--- why?” He demanded. “History repeats itself.” Brian muttered cryptically. “Jeez Brian.” He sighed. “It’s over.” Justin said softly. Why was Brian doing this? He had that old hard edge to his voice. Justin hadn’t heard that tone in years and now on what should have been a day of celebration Brian was being an asshole. Didn’t Brian understand that he wanted to return to school? He wanted to get his degree. Justin longed to return to art school. He didn’t need Brian reminding him of what he had given up. He was aware of it everyday as he taught lessons to his students. He had never wanted to teach, but those who can’t ---teach. “I made my choice.” He said refusing to look at the other man. “Well I always said it was your choice.” Brian turned back to the window. “I meant about school.” Justin added some time later. He hadn’t thought about the other choices he had made. “Why are you doing this?” Justin asked. “All day I’ve been thinking of nothing else but seeing you and sharing all my good news and ever since we got here you’ve been—“ “An asshole?” Brian asked. “Yeah. Why?” Justin asked. “I really need to get back.” Brian announced ignoring Justin’s question mainly because he didn’t have an answer. “I have a ton of shit to get done and only a day to do it.” Justin nodded grabbing his keys. He felt terrible. Lunch had been a disaster. He took the forgotten sack of food and tossed it in a trash can located in the kitchen. “When are you moving in?” Brian asked as they got back into Justin’s car. He wasn’t sure why he was asking. He wasn’t sure why he had asked any of the questions that he had asked since arriving at the house. It was as if he were spinning out of control. He’d felt pressure from the moment he’d spotted the picnic. He’d forgotten how miserable it had felt those days when he had known that Justin was sleeping around on him and he’d felt powerless to be what Justin had needed him to be. “This weekend.” Justin turned the engine over and started back towards Brian’s office. “Sorry I took so much of your time today. I didn’t realize you were under the gun. You should have just told me you couldn’t make it. I would have understood.” He stared straight ahead but could feel Brian’s eyes on him. Brian watched Justin’s features. They seemed sad and defeated. Brian started running through their lunch once again in his head. “It’s okay. I’ll get it all done.” Brian admitted absently still studying the other man. Justin knew it was true. Brian always managed to get his job done even under the harshest deadlines. The ride was made in silence each man mulling over how things had taken such a sudden turn to the south. Pulling up in front of Brian’s building Justin swallowed hard still not sure of what he wanted to say. “Brian.” He whispered just as the man was about to open his door. “Other than keeping Stephen finding that house is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I just wanted to share it with you. I didn’t mean for it to be some sort of rejection. I’ve never been on my own. I have to do this. I need it.” He looked up and met Brian’s eyes. “I have to be my own man before I can be anyone else’s.” Brian smiled at the blonde. He had been given a gift. He had been hand picked to be the only guest at his small victory celebration and he’d blown it. Without hesitation Brian leaned in capturing Justin’s lips. He felt the other man pause for a second before responding. He kept the kiss light as he gently brushed his tongue against Justin’s before pulling away. “I’m happy for you Justin. It’s a solid first step.” He held his forehead against the other man’s for a moment longer before pulling away. “Guess I’ve still got some growing to do as well.” He admitted. Justin merely smirked in agreement. “Forgive me?” Brian asked. If Justin had been shocked by the gesture he hid it well. “You can make it up to me by helping me move on Saturday.” He teased. Brian kept his expression blank earning him a laugh from the blonde. The rift between them, though not fully healed, was at least a bit mended. “Feels like old times.” Brian stated staring out the window briefly. Justin knew what he meant. This was their old way of dealing with one another. “Not in a good life affirming sort of way.” Justin admitted. “We’re going to have to get better at this.” Brian stated wistfully. “You’re right.” Justin stated determinedly. “Later.” Brian whispered. Justin nodded as he watched Brian cross in front of the car and disappear into the building. **************** Brian walked into his office wondering how in the hell he had fucked that moment up so completely. Justin had been so excited. What was it that had made him try to hurt him? Why had he been so sarcastic and harsh when Justin had seemed so happy? He had seemed so fucking happy. It was a house. It wasn’t nearly as posh as the loft. It wasn’t as sexy as the loft or as seductive, but Justin had loved it because it was his. ‘And I have to go fucking ruin it for him just like I use to—‘ He stopped himself. He had learned. He refused to believe that he would repeat the same mistakes that he had the last time he and Justin had a chance to have a, he shuddered before continuing, relationship. He hated that word. He would have to come up with something different. Brian realized that it was that thought, the thought of having a relationship that seemed to be spurring on his actions. He wanted to be with Justin and yet a part of him was terrified. It was odd but the more Justin healed from his grief the more uncomfortable Brian felt about being with him again. He wanted Justin. Brian knew that. It was just that whenever he thought of them being lovers once more, being somehow in a relationship again, with expectations and commitments, he felt short of breath and claustrophobic. Cynthia appeared at his door. Knocking lightly she stepped in. She realized that Brian was deep in thought. “Boss?” She joked. He looked up as he seated himself behind his desk. He raised his eyebrows waiting for her to continue. “Tyler Mayhan called.” Brian nodded. “He wants you to call him back.” He nodded. He moved to his computer and began sorting through his email. There was one from Vance. He clicked it and learned that landing the Texfield Petroleum account was going to bring him a huge bonus. Brian was happy but then again it was just money. He had money. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful but in his life money had been his one constant. He just didn’t get too excited about it anymore. He would stick a bit more into Gus’ trust fund and maybe see if his sister was still surviving as a single parent. He didn’t really have a good relationship with Clare but things seemed to go smoother when he made annual contributions instead of having her show up at his door with her hand out whining. A half hour later Cynthia buzzed in. He hit the intercom switch. “Brian? Tyler Mayhan on two.” “Thanks.” Brian hit a button and accepted the call. “Mr. Mayhan.” He greeted. “Tyler. How are you Brian? Have a good flight back?” Brian leaned back thinking about the man on the other end of the line. “Good and good. I hear you are heading up here to the great white north.” Brian joked. “Hell yea I am. Course I’m a little off my feed up there with you Yanks, but I’m sure you will find a way to make me feel welcome.” Brian shifted uncomfortably. He wondered what Mayhan had in mind in the form of a welcome. Brian didn’t mind fucking a willing client but he never liked it to be a requirement of keeping the account. Brian decided to wait and see if the situation arose before confronting the man. After all Mayhan was his type. Brian knew when the moment came he would be the one in control. “When are you getting in?” Brian asked getting out his calendar. “Late afternoon on Friday. I’ll have my assistant give yours all the details. I was hoping we could maybe have dinner that evening. You do owe me after all.” Brian nodded setting aside that night. “Sure. What do you like?” He asked refusing at this point to give into Mayhan’s innuendo. He heard a wicked laugh on the other end of the line in response. “Surprise me.” The other man teased refusing to be put off by Brian’s professional demeanor. Brian couldn’t help but laugh as well. He was challenging him. Brian felt his interest peak. He liked a challenge. He bit his bottom lip considering for a moment where he could take the tall dark and handsome Texan. “You got it Tex.” He quipped. “Pick me up at the hotel.” Tyler said then Brian heard muffled voices. Apparently Tyler Assistant had entered and was working out the details of his visit. “Brian why don’t you put your assistant on and we can get our girls to hash out the details.” Brian smiled to himself. Cynthia would be furious if she knew she had just been called his “girl”. “Sure thing, Tyler. I’ll get MY GIRL on the line.” He couldn’t resist. “Later.” Tyler replied. “L— yeah” Brian caught himself. He hung up and found for the first time since lunch he could breathe. He relaxed against his chair and thought about Tyler Mayhan. He knew exactly where he would take the man, some place special. No sooner had the thought form then he found himself thinking of Justin. Why was it that he suddenly felt so nervous about spending time with the blonde? He had been thinking of nothing more for weeks now and just when he actually gets a few moments alone with Justin; he manages to start a fight. Even though they seemed okay when he kissed him in the car, something still didn’t feel quite right. He wasn’t sure what was going on and frankly he had no intention of sitting around like a dyke all day thinking about it. Laying his thoughts aside he focused back on the Texfield campaign allowing the image of the tall brunet push out any thoughts of the blonde.