Endings and Beginnings - Book 2 Chapter 5 Brian hadn’t quite made it home when his cell phone rang. “Hey.” Justin’s voice brought a smile to his face. “Hey yourself.” Brian replied. “You weren’t home.” Justin voice was soft and sensual. Brian knew the man wasn’t trying to be sexy but somehow his voice always seemed to affect the brunet. “Just pulling up in front of the building now. Do you need something?” He asked putting his car into park and getting out. Justin sighed and Brian realized that he must have wondered if Brian had gone to the Baths or Babylon’s to work on some frustration. Brian was glad he had opted for the loft instead. “I’m not working tomorrow. I have to get Stephen’s things together and then I thought I would take him to the park. I thought maybe you would like to come. Maybe Gus could skip out of school and we could all just have a morning together.” Brian smiled. Justin had read his mind. He had formed the same plan outside Deb’s just moments before. “Sounds great. I’ll talk the mommies into it.” Justin smirked. Brian always could talk to mommies into things. Well he could talk Lindsay into things. Justin had a better chance with Mel. “I’m sure we will be up early so just come by whenever you want.” Justin explained. Brian knew what that meant. Justin wasn’t going to be getting any sleep tonight. He understood but after seeing the man at Deb’s he was growing more and more concerned for the man’s health. He knew now was not the time to lecture on the benefits of sleep and food, not that he was an expert on those benefits, but he knew the words would be lost on Justin right now. He was in too much pain emotionally to think of anything else. Brian decided he would wait to approach after the verdict. Justin would need him more tomorrow now than tonight. “Will do.” Brian simply stated then hung up. He immediately called Lindsay feeling certain that she would agree to Justin’s plan. ******************************** Rachel and Ken were lying in bed in their hotel room silently staring at the ceiling. “I’m glad you agreed to come with me.” Rachel whispered. “Stop saying that.” Ken’s voice sounded weary and irritated. “Why are you so angry with me?” Rachel asked not moving. “You wouldn’t even talk to him.” Ken argued. “He called and called and you wouldn’t even talk to him.” “Mr. Davis said it would be a mistake.” Ken smirked loudly grabbed his pillow and moved to the chair. Rachel felt like a piece of her heart had been ripped out. He had been so angry with her since her decision to fight for custody of Stephen. She had hoped that his agreeing to come to Pittsburgh with her had been a sign that things were going to get better. Now she was certain that things were not going to get better. She loved Ken. She had loved him since the moment they had met. He was everything that she had ever wanted. The thought of not having him in her life frightened her. He was the only person in her life who had loved and accepted her completely. Ethan had always been too wrapped up in his own life to really care about her. Her parents had always been so distant and cool. Ken was different. He had always been warm and alive at least until she had decided to seek custody of Stephen. Now she could feel his disapproval radiating towards her from the chair where he was trying to sleep. “You won’t sleep a wink in that chair.” She said bitterly. “Since when do you give a shit about anyone but yourself Rach? Mind your own fucking business.” He rolled away from her pulling his coat off of the other chair and pulling it around his body. “This isn’t about us.” She spat back. “Like hell it isn’t.” He gave up stood and started towards his bag. “This is completely about us.” She sat up in the bed turning on the light. “How? How is this about us?” She asked watching him gather his things. “Get a piece of paper and write these down will ya, because I am fucking sick and tired of repeating myself. First of all taking Stephen from Justin is the wrong thing to do. Spin it anyway you want; it won’t matter. It looks like a spiteful vindictive act. Second I don’t want any kids right now so if you get Stephen you will lose me. We had this discussion when we first met and you assured me that you didn’t want to play mom to him. Third, your brother was a lot of things but in this instance was an evil S.O.B. to use Stephen to trap Justin and you are an even worse S.O.B. for using him to hurt the man. Fourth, you are calling Justin an unfit parent when you are a non-parent. You don’t have a fucking clue how to take care of that child and yet you are trying to judge how Justin does it. That’s fucked. I’d like to stick around just to see you walking the floors and cleaning up puke. I’d love to see your parenting skills in action. You’ve been so focused on getting custody you haven’t even thought about what it means to be a parent 24/7. Fifth, and most importantly, if you gave a shit about Stephen you would realize that he has already suffered the loss of one parent. That being the case, if you loved him, you would refuse to allow him to suffer through the loss of another one. You’re being selfish Rachel. You’re being a bitter, selfish, spiteful bitch.” He closed his bag and went to the phone. “The crazy thing is that until Ethan died you were nothing like that. You use to be this fun, smart, sweet and loving girl that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t know where that girl went, but I sure as hell wish I did.” He flipped open the room directory and dialed. “Where are you going?” She asked tears in her eyes. She was frightened and angry. The thought that tomorrow she would more than likely be the mother of a near two year old was overwhelming enough, but to think of facing it alone was terrifying. Ken didn’t respond choosing to follow through with his plan first. “Front desk yes this is Ken Wiseman in 304. I am going to need another room. Yes, I can. Thank you.” He paused as his gaze locked on Rachel’s. He saw the hurt in her eyes and he steeled himself against it. He knew that she was lost in her grief. He knew that her brother had filled her head with years of insecurities about Justin and his past relationship with Brian Kinney. In some odd way Rachel felt like she was doing what Ethan would want her to do. She was justifying her actions believing that she was being a good sister. Ken hadn’t seen Justin and Ethan together that much, but from even his limited exposure to the couple, he knew that Ethan would never want his sister to hurt his partner. Rachel wasn’t thinking. She was just reacting. He had to find a way to get her to see that. He felt he had one last chance. “Don’t leave.” She said softly as he waited for the front desk to fill his request. “Talk to him.” He challenged. She was silent. “Yes, that will be fine. No, I won’t require any assistance with my luggage.” He spoke into the receiver. “Ok.” She said quickly leaning forward in the bed. “Can you hold on for a second? “ Ken said placing his hand over the receiver. “Ok what?” He asked forcing her to say the words aloud so that there could be no misunderstanding. “I will talk to him.” She said. He sighed and smiled at her. “On second thought I’m not going to need that room after all. Sorry to have disturb you so late.” Ken hung up the phone then immediately dialed Justin’s home number. He picked up on the second ring. It was late but he sounded as if he had been awake. “Justin. It’s Ken. Rachel wants to talk. Where and when?” Justin fought the hope that sprung within him. He took a breath and tried to keep his voice steady. Ken sensed Justin’s struggle but kept his expression blank. He couldn’t give anything away. “I’m taking Stephen to the park tomorrow. I’ll be there around 11.“ Justin gave the man directions to the park near Tremont. “Brian and I are taking the boys out together before that.” He explained. “I’ll have my cell if you need to reach me. We’ll be leaving early tomorrow morning from my house, but we should be at the park no later than 11.” “Great well we will see you at the park. Have a nice morning together.” Ken replied still looking at Rachel. Her expression was hard but he knew that this was the right tact to take. “Yes, well until then. Thanks Ken. Good night.” Justin hung up. “I don’t know what you hope to achieve?” She asked reaching to turn off the light. Ken didn’t answer. He knew what he hoped to achieve. He knew if he revealed his plan it would fail. The thing with these pesky manipulative Golds was that you had to beat them at their own game. ********************************* Brian showed up early. He hasn’t noticed the cream jaguar on the corner. He and Gus piled out of the car and walked hand in hand to the front door. Brian was determined to make this day as easy as possible for Justin. “Who do you think that is?” Rachel asked sipping her coffee from the passenger seat of the jaguar. She wasn’t sure what Ken was up to but she had felt too insecure at the moment to argue. “Not sure.” Ken said watching as the man and his child disappeared into Jennifer Taylor’s condo. A few moments later the little boy emerged carrying Stephen. Justin and the other man followed closely behind. It was obvious that they were both ready to jump in if the boy started to lose his hold on the baby. They made their way to what must have been Jennifer or Justin’s car. Rachel and Ken watched as Justin secured the baby into his car seat while the other man playfully chased his son to the other side and helped him into his seat belt. The car pulled away from the condo with Ken and Rachel following at a distance. Ken was careful not to lose the men as they weaved in and out of the early morning traffic. They pulled up in front of a restaurant and the group piled out of the car. Stephen was latched onto Justin’s neck. The other man had his child on his back as they took turns tickling and teasing Stephen as they headed into the restaurant. Ken glanced over at Rachel. Her discomfort was obvious. This was not the way she had pictured things They waited until the foursome was seated before entering themselves. They asked for a secluded table within earshot of their quarry. They could watch and listen without being seen. They could hear the silly jokes that Gus was telling Stephen. Stephen of course didn’t understand any of them but laughed anyway as the two men groaned at the puns. Ken could see Justin’s face. It appeared that the man had had no sleep at all. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hands appeared to be shaking slightly as he took the menu from their waitress. His face looked thinner than he remembered it. The other man had also noticed Justin’s hand. Ken watched as Brian laid his hand on top of the Justin’s. They had exchanged a look before Justin forced a smiled and started getting a bib around Stephen’s neck. It was heartbreaking. He didn’t want to watch this but he knew Rachel needed to see it. Looking over at her he realized that she too had witness the tender moment between the two men. There had been nothing sexual about the gesture. It had been a compassionate touch of a friend trying to help another friend hold the fraying ends of his life together. Ken shook his head and looked down at his menu. “Who do you think he is?” Rachel whispered. Ken merely shook his head. He knew that it was Brian Kinney, but refused to tell Rachel just yet. The group ate their breakfast and talked about silly things that entertained the older boy. Once the check arrived the dark haired man rose and took his son to the restroom while Justin gathered up Stephen’s belongings and got him cleaned up. When the older man returned he lifted Stephen from his high chair kissing him tenderly on each cheek and then playfully pushed his son toward the door. Justin came up the rear. He was obviously struggling with his thoughts. It was touching that the other man was trying to give Justin a moment to pull it together before they faced the rest of their day. Ken gave Rachel the cash and their check and made his way out to their car so that they could keep up with the other group. Justin had just pulled out of the parking lot when Rachel got back into the car. “That’s Kinney. Brian Kinney. That’s him in that car with Stephen.” Her voice was tight but Ken couldn’t tell if it was from shock or concern. He decided not to comment. She had seen all that he had. There was no way that Brian Kinney was the monster Ethan had portrayed him to be. Rachel would never admit it if he forced her to, she would have to come up with her own conclusion. It was evident though that this was not the portrait that Ethan had painted for her. They followed the car to the Children’s Museum. Following from a distance they witnessed the close friendship of the two boys as well as the men watching them. Justin had a hard time letting Stephen go. He carried him most of the time. Ken wondered how much of that was his normal protectiveness and how much was desperation to hold him for as long as possible knowing he might not have the chance again. They learned that the little boy’s name was Gus and that he was as active as he was attractive. He was also infinitely patient with Stephen. Brian proved to be a good father. He got on his hands and knees and climbed through the maze with both boys, he played a game of giant checkers with his son while Justin and Stephen made faces in the funny mirrors. All four seemed to enjoy the bubble display and attacked one another with puppets. It was a morning full of adventure and laughter for the two boys and a desperate attempt by Brian Kinney to distract his friend and perhaps lover, Justin Taylor from what he might be facing later on in the day. Rachel and Ken returned to their car early and waited for the group to emerge. Close to eleven they saw the foursome make their way to Justin’s car. This time Brian got behind the wheel as Justin zoomed his son like an airplane all the way to the car. Rachel and Ken could both hear the boy’s laughter from where they were parked. Rachel bit her lip. They had parked close enough so that she could see the way Stephen was looking at Justin. She had seen the same look at the funeral. She wondered why she hadn’t thought of it until now. “What did the social worker’s investigation show?” Ken asked knowing full well that the report had concluded that Stephen was well cared for both physically and emotionally. It had been the most damaging evidence that Mr. Davis had had to contend with. He of course had found a psychologist who had listed the damage children suffer when raised in a homosexual home. “Ken you know exactly what that report said. Don’t play games with me.” She sounded angry. He smiled to himself. He knew that she was having a crisis of conscious. It was working. He only hoped that he would have enough time to show her the reality of Stephen’s life before they had to head to the Courthouse. Once they arrived at the park, Ken and Rachel remained in their car watching the two men as they pushed their son’s on the swings. Brian said something that made them all laugh. After a few moments Gus leapt from his swing and raced to the nearest slide. Brian followed in hot pursuit. Stephen impatiently waited for Justin to free him from the baby swing so he could slide as well. Rachel sat watching. Ken fought the urge to say anything else. He had to be patient. After a few more moments on the slide Kinney looked down at his watch. He said something to his son. Gus immediately began protesting loudly but a look from his father assured him that the decision was final. He made his way over to Stephen and hugged his friend. He then buried his face against his father’s leg hugging him tightly. Brian leaned forward kissing Stephen on his head then placed his forehead to Justin’s and held him there for a long moment. Pulling away he gently kissed the other man then reached down and picked up his son. He made his way out of the park walking past their car as he headed up Tremont. As Brian and Gus drew closer, Rachel and Ken could hear that the little boy was crying. Ken looked back and couldn’t miss the tears on the man’s face as well. He looked over at Rachel and saw that she too had witnessed their grief. Turning their attention back to Justin and Stephen they watched as Justin took his son over to the merry-go-round gently pushing him then hopping up to join him. They both laid down heads touching staring up at the sky. Ken and Rachel sat watching them for what felt like hours. The merry-go-round squealed from disuse as it slowed to a stop. Stephen crawled on top of his father and laid his head on his shoulder. They watched as Justin ran his fingers through his son’s hair. “Rachel.” He couldn’t resist any longer. “Just drive.” She said. “You agreed to talk to him.” He argued. “You can’t just leave him waiting for you.” “Just drive Ken. Just start the fucking car and drive.” She was in tears. He started the engine and pulled away just as a city bus pulled up behind them. If Justin heard the car he never looked up. Stealing a glance over at the woman Ken saw that she had her head buried in her hands and was softly sobbing. Moving onto the expressway entrance ramp he checked for an opening in the traffic. He didn’t have to ask. He knew where they were headed.