All living beings have actions (Karma) as their own, their inheritance, their congenital cause, their kinsman, their refuge. It is Karma that differentiates beings into low and high states. Chapter 16 Justin sat on a stone bench looking at the colorful Koi swimming in the pond. “They are the most beautiful fish,” he said. “I didn’t know they came in so many different colors.” “They are sometimes referred to as ‘swimming flowers’ Justin, or ‘living jewels’. Justin looked at the man who just answered his question. He had never been in the presence of anyone who exuded such a peaceful and calming effect. His looks belied the aura though; they almost seemed false coming from someone with such a fierce face. Master Vanijjata Palihawadana had the look of a warrior rather than a saintly Buddhist monk. His black, winged eyebrows were perched above eyes that were only slits and his nose was hooked, surprising in an Asian face. His skin was golden brown, testimony to his Malay mother but his height, well over six feet, must have come from a Caucasian ancestor somewhere in the past. His head was shaved bald, in keeping with tradition, and he wore a beautiful saffron colored robe that fell down his legs, almost covering his bare feet. His smile was that of a child, innocent and pure; the kind of smile that lit up his face, changing his look entirely, making him much more approachable. Justin had felt drawn to him as soon as Emmett had introduced them and even now, after being alone with the Master for well over four hours, he was neither bored nor tired. He felt like he could sit with him another four hours but he knew that their time was limited and that he would have to return another day. Justin put his hand on the monk’s arm and said, “I have very much enjoyed our time together. I hope that you will allow me to come back again soon, so that I can learn more from you.” “You are always welcome here Justin,” Master replied, looking Justin straight in the eye. “Whenever you feel the need, you just have to pick up the phone and call me to let me know when you will be coming. We welcome all students who are interested in learning of the Buddha and his teachings.” “I need time to process everything I’ve heard today, Master. It may be a while before I come back.” “Only a wise man would reply this way, Justin. Nothing worth learning is learned in one day. The life of a Buddhist is one that requires much thought and commitment. You need to be comfortable with all the precepts before you can take this on.” Justin stood and as he did, so did the Master. He watched as the Master put the palms of his hands together and raised them high in front, up to the level of his forehead. He bowed slightly and walked away, back towards the monastery, leaving Justin alone staring after him. Justin felt like he was in a trance; like he was high on E or something. It was the most incredible feeling, almost euphoric, a feeling heretofore associated with booze or sex. He was having trouble coming to terms with it, to try and define or describe it. All he knew was that this place, this beautiful Monastery with its lovely ponds and enormous trees that were filled to bursting with either fruit or flowers were assaulting his senses. He wanted to run screaming to the first art supply store and rip out a blank canvas and start painting. He felt such a need to call Brian and tell him about his visit. He wanted to talk to Daphne and tell her he had found a few answers, certainly not all of them, but at least the tip of the iceberg. He wanted to do all of these things but instead he did nothing. He sat back down on the bench and took a deep breath, wanting to go over all of it one more time in his head. Today the topic of their discussion was Karma, a word he had heard many times but had never really known the true meaning of. The whole notion of Karma was definitely intriguing. Justin had never really given much thought to the after-life. His parents were Christian and so he had been taught the basics along with the standard beliefs in Heaven and Hell. He had never really given it much thought except for the time after the bashing when he was recuperating in the hospital. At that time he thought about God and wondered why He would let something like the attack happen. Why he was spared and not killed. Such thoughts occupied him a lot in those days but as his body healed thoughts of death and the hereafter were pushed back to the recesses of his mind and never brought up again. Eternal punishment or reward were never discussed much around their house. The master started their discussion today with a question. “Have you never wondered why some people are born rich and others poor? Why should one person be a mental prodigy and another an idiot? Why should one person be born with saintly characteristics and another with criminal tendencies? Why should some be blessed and others cursed from birth?” I’ve never really thought about it, Master. It’s just something that I accepted as part of life. “In this world nothing happens to a person that he does not for some reason or other deserve. Usually, men of ordinary intellect cannot comprehend the actual reason or reasons. The definite invisible cause or causes of the visible effect is not necessarily confined to the present life, they may be traced to a proximate or remote past birth.” The master went on to explain the cause of such differences in accordance with the laws of cause and effect. “Certainly, we are all born with hereditary characteristics. At the same time we possess certain innate abilities that science cannot account for. To our parents we are indebted for the gross sperm and ovum that form the nucleus of our being. They remain dormant within each parent until this potential germinal compound is vitalized by the Karmic energy needed for the production of the fetus. Karma is therefore the indispensable conceptive cause of this being.” “The accumulated Karmic tendencies, inherited in the course of previous lives, at times play a far greater role than the hereditary parental cells and genes in the formation of both physical and mental characteristics,” the Master continued in his gentle, calming tone of voice. He spoke with an accent, however, Justin understood him easily. “The Buddha for instance, inherited, like every other person, the reproductive cells and genes from his parents. But physically, morally and intellectually there were none comparable to him in his long line of Royal ancestors. In the Buddha’s own words, he belonged not to his Royal lineage but to that of another line altogether. He was certainly a superman, an extraordinary creation of his own Karma.” Is this why I seem to have nothing in common with my parents? Neither one of them have any artistic inclinations and yet I have been blessed with this trait? “Karmic tendencies could not only influence our physical organism but also nullify the potentiality of the parental cells and genes-hence the significance of the Buddha’s enigmatic statement, ‘we are the heirs of our own actions’.” So, from a Buddhist point of view, our present mental, moral, intellectual and temperamental differences are, for the most part, due to our own actions and tendencies, both present and past? “Although Buddhism attributes this variation to Karma as being the chief cause among a variety it does not, however, assert that everything is due to Karma. The law of Karma, important as it is, is only one of the twenty-four conditions described in the Buddhist philosophy.” I don’t think we have time to go into all twenty-four conditions Master. The master smiled and said, “Not today, Justin, but eventually we will discuss them all.” They talked about having to relive a life, coming back over and over until the perfected state of insight is achieved. A life where all future birth is at an end, where all that has to be done has been done, and there is no more returning to the worldly life, to attain Nirvana, or the ultimate Buddhist goal of getting off the wheel, so to speak, and not having to be reborn again. So, are we doomed from birth then to the life we are going to have, Master? How can you say we are the masters of our own destinies? That we create our own Karma? If what you are saying is true, then Karma is tantamount to fatalism or predestination. If this were true, free will would be an absurdity. Life would be purely mechanistic, not much different from a machine. “Such a fatalistic doctrine is not the Buddhist law of Karma, my son. According to Buddhism, there are five orders or processes which operate in the physical and mental realms. They are physical inorganic order, order of germs and seeds, order of act and result, order of the norm and order of mind or psychic law. Every mental or physical phenomenon can be explained by these all-embracing five orders or processes that are laws in themselves. Karma, as such, is only one of these five orders. Like all other natural laws they demand no lawgiver.” I don’t understand, Master. “Karma is a law unto itself, which operates in its own field without the intervention of any external, independent ruling agency. Happiness and misery, which are the common lot of humanity, are the inevitable effects of causes. From a Buddhist point of view they are not rewards and punishments, assigned by a supernatural, omniscient ruling power to a soul that has done good or evil. Buddhism, which emphatically denies such an Almighty, All-merciful God-Creator and an arbitrarily created immortal soul, believes in natural law and justice which cannot be suspended by either an Almighty God or an All-compassionate Buddha. According to this natural law, acts bear their own rewards and punishments to the individual doer, whether human justice finds out or not.” So, you Buddhists administer false hope to people, saying you were born poor, or ugly or dumb on account of your past evil Karma whereas someone else is born rich and good looking and smart on account of his good Karma? “The Buddhist doctrine of Karma does not expound such ridiculous fatalistic views, Justin. Nor does it vindicate a postmortem justice. The All–merciful Buddha, who had no ulterior selfish motives, did not teach this law of Karma to protect the rich and comfort the poor by promising illusory happiness in an after-life.” What then? “While we are born to a state created by ourselves, yet by our own self-directed efforts there is every possibility for us to create new, favorable environments even here and now. Not only individually, but also collectively, we are at liberty to create fresh Karma that leads either towards our progress or downfall in this very life.” Is one bound to reap all that one has sown in just proportion? “Although it is stated in the Dhammapada that ‘not in the sky, nor in mid-ocean, or entering a mountain cave is found that place on earth where one may escape from (the consequences of) an evil deed’, yet one is not bound to pay all the past arrears of one’s Karma. If such were the case emancipation would be an impossibility. Eternal recurrence would be the unfortunate result.” And that is a bad thing in Buddhism? “It is, my son. The ultimate goal is to reach the state of Nirvana. It has become equated with an eastern version of Heaven. Actually, nirvana simply means cessation. It is the cessation of passion, aggression and ignorance; the cessation of the struggle to prove our existence to the world, to survive. We don’t have to struggle to survive after all. We have already survived. We survive now; the struggle was just an extra complication that we added to our lives because we had lost our confidence in the way things are. We no longer need to manipulate things as they are into things as we would like them to be.” This is all very different and thought provoking Master, I’m going to need some time to really think about everything I’ve heard today. “You will Justin, all in good time. Everything you are hearing today is new and different. I don’t expect you to understand or agree with any of it. You have to do this at your own pace and in your own way.” Justin’s thoughts were interrupted by Emmett and Max, who were strolling towards him, hand in hand, holding shopping bags full of some new and improved kitchen gadgets no doubt. “Hey Sweetie,” Emmett gushed giving Justin a big hug. “How’d it go?” “I had the most incredible morning, Em, thank you so much for bringing me here.” “Oh, you are so welcome! Do you have a headache yet? I know that when I first came, my head was so crammed full of new ideas I thought it would implode!” “Yeah,” Justin said, all of a sudden exhausted and hungry. “I think I need to rest my brain for the next few hours. Have you guys eaten, because I am starving!” “No, we were waiting to see if you were done and ready to leave. There are some nice restaurants in town, well, not really nice,” Emmett said critically, “But family style kind of places where we can get some comfort food, you know?” “That sounds really good right now. What do you say Max? You think you can lower your standards for a while and have some plain old meat loaf and macaroni and cheese?” Justin asked. “Of course, Mr. J, you think they make the mac and cheese with Gruyere?” Justin looked at Max, rolled his eyes and said, “I doubt it. We’ll be lucky if they use real cheese at all. It’ll probably be some processed shit but at this point in time, who cares! I could eat any white trashy meal you put in front of me right now, I’m so hungry.” “Yuck,” Max said in disgust. “You really need to be more discerning Mr. J.” “Max, it’s me you’re talking to, not Brian. I don’t care what I eat so long as I get full, you know that.” “All too well, I’m afraid,” Max replied. Emmett laughed and said, “Now, now girls, let’s not start getting bitchy! I think little Sunshine here just needs some sugar in his blood. We need to pump you up with some carbs, honey, and then you’ll feel much better.” “You’re right Em, I really am hungry. Sorry Max, didn’t mean to be such a bitch.” “Hey, Mr. J, no harm done. It’s all good.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian sat on a chair beside the tennis court watching the boys as they volleyed the ball back and forth to Tiffany who was on the other side of the net. He used this opportunity to work on his tan because it was a beautiful summer day and the sun was shinning brightly. He also wanted be able to see first hand whether she was any good or not. Today she had on a two-piece outfit in bright yellow. He was amazed that her boobs stayed in place because they only seemed to be encased by a small strip of cloth. He wondered how the hell the tennis world allowed for clothes like this. If he were straight there was no way he would be able to concentrate if his opponent were dressed, or rather undressed, like that. He could only imagine what thoughts were going through his son’s head. The last few days had been interesting; he was seeing a brand new side of Gus, inevitable he supposed, yet surprising in its suddenness. When he had spent the week with him last fall, Gus had been very innocent in his knowledge of women and sex in general. He smiled when he remembered the talk he had with him about kissing. Obviously a lot had changed in eight months. For one thing, he was almost sixteen, for another, he’d had a girlfriend now for many months and he was pretty sure they had progressed from the hand-holding and innocent kissing stage. Gus was also the quarterback of his school team, a position that always drew the women like bees to honey. His best friend was a piece of work, randy as they come, constantly talking about women and who was hot, and which actress had fake boobs, and who was screwing whom. He remembered what it was like being that young and having only one thing on your mind. He and Michael had spent endless hours fantasizing about movie stars and jacking off to their pictures in magazines. Patrick Swayze was a distant memory but he remembered the thrill of stolen moments, when they would get together behind Mikey’s bedroom door and drool over the pictures. Gus’ sexuality was just starting to surface and Brian supposed he should have another refresher course with him to remind him of all the dangers he could expose himself to without being careful. He’d already had this talk with him but this was before he was actually doing anything. At that time it was innocent and funny holding the cucumber between them during the demo. Watching him now he knew that his son had a bit more experience under his belt. And he meant that in the literal sense. He wondered if Gus would open up and reveal how much he and Ashley had actually done. Not that Brian really cared; he just wanted to make sure they were both being smart. The last thing anyone needed was an unwanted pregnancy, disease, or both! Austin on the other hand, looked and acted like he had a lot more experience than Gus. He seemed the more aggressive of the two when it came to Tiffany and this amused Brian even more, because in everything else Gus was the leader and Austin the follower. It was only with Tiffany that the roles were reversed and Gus took a back seat to his best friend. It was certainly interesting watching as this all unfolded. Justin of course was freaking out over everything, acting like a true mother, worrying that their innocent little boy was walking down the road to perdition. He needed to stop stressing and realize that Gus wasn’t six anymore. Justin was mortified that morning when Gus walked in on them. He sat through lunch red-faced as Gus teased them incessantly. Finally, he had to kick Gus under the table to get him to shut up or Justin would have stood up and left the room. His WASP sensibilities couldn’t handle the embarrassment. They had finally settled on a routine for the boys that seemed to work for everyone. Fuzzy and his infamous daughter came over every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. The driving school instructor was at the house every Tuesday and Thursday. This kept the boys pretty well occupied. Friday was usually a day when they could just laze around. More often than not, Gus spent that day in the studio painting and Austin in front of the Play Station. Brian had specifically picked Saturday as one of the training days because he wanted to be home. He joined in the sessions and this way he was able to see first hand if Fuzzy was doing right by the boys. So far, he seemed to know his stuff and being an ex-football player was an added bonus as he knew exactly which muscles needed building up and what exercises would help the sport. His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. He saw from caller ID that it was Lindsay. “Hey Linds,” he answered. “Brian, hi! How’s everything going?” “So far, so good,” he answered. “Are Gus and Austin behaving?” “Yup, although I have noticed a difference in Gus, especially with Austin here,” he said. “You noticed, huh?” “Oh yeah, he’s a little more mouthy and aggressive. Not the sweet little boy I left last Fall,” Brian said. “I know,” Lindsay replied. “Ever since football season ended, his popularity quotient has gone up one hundred percent and so has his self-confidence. He struts around here like he’s king of the mountain.” “That’s about right. Do you know how far he’s gone with Ashley? Has he had sex with her yet? “BRIAN!” Lindsay squealed on the other end. “Oh get over it Linds, stop acting like a fucking nun! You knew this was bound to happen, after all, he is one-half Kinney.” “Has he done anything or said anything to you?” she asked, alarmed. “No, just relax. I just need to know so that when I have my usual tutorial with him I’m forewarned.” “He hasn’t said a thing to me, although I must admit that he doesn’t seem to care who sees him naked these days. He’s taken to going from the bedroom to the bathroom without any clothes on. I’ve yelled at him a few times about that.” “Ah, he really is my child isn’t he? I was wondering when those genes would surface. What’s the matter Lindsay? Can’t you stand to see some dick occasionally?” “Brian Kinney! That is disgusting! He is my son, not some stranger, and he has a young sister, or have you forgotten; she doesn’t need to be seeing dick at this point in her life!” “Christ Lindsay! You really are acting like Mother Teresa. I’m sure JR has seen her brother naked before.” “Not since he’s grown another six inches,” she replied in her most prissy voice. “He’s that hung?” Brian asked, impressed. “Damn it, Brian, I don’t mean his dick size. I mean he’s now over six feet tall. I’m sure the last time he and JR shared a shower was when he was a lot smaller.” “His dick was never small, Lindsay!” Brian replied, indignantly. “Brian, you are beyond any shadow of a doubt, the most disgusting man I know. I DIDN’T MEAN HIS FUCKING DICK!” “All right already,” Brian started laughing, enjoying her discomfort. “Seriously Brian,” Lindsay said. “Do you think he is sexually active already?” “I don’t think so Linds,” Brian replied. “Close, but not quite there. I’ll find out more in the next few weeks. The one who seems to already have been there and done that is Austin.” “You think so?” she said. “I know so,” he answered. “Well, if his best friend has had sex, doesn’t that mean he has too?” “Not necessarily Linds, look at me and Mikey. All he did was watch from afar. He was about four years behind me in everything I did.” “No offense to Michael, Brian, but I hardly think you can compare Gus to him.” “I wasn’t Linds, I’m just saying that because Austin is sexually active, doesn’t necessarily mean Gus is too. He’s been with Ashley and she’s probably keeping him at bay, so he’s really not had the opportunities that Austin probably has. I remember when I played football. The cheerleaders all but threw themselves at me. There were many blowjobs going on behind the bleachers, late at night.” “I think I’m going to throw up,” Lindsay said. “Please don’t repeat this story to Melanie or she’ll never let JR become a cheerleader.” “Hey, if you girls want to continue living in a dream world, that’s your choice. I, on the other hand, would rather have my kid prepared to deal with all the shit that’s out there.” “You’re right,” Lindsay said, “Well, thank God he has you, because I wouldn’t even know how to have this conversation with him. Better you than me, Brian, thanks for doing this.” “Hey, no need for thanks. I’m his Dad, who else would tell him?” “Not me, that’s for sure,” Lindsay replied. “Okay, Linds, I guess that’s it for now. I’ll keep you posted,” he said. “Fine,” she replied. “Say hi to Justin for me, and kiss Gus.” “I will. Later, Linds,” he said, turning off the phone. Brian looked up in time to see that the kids had just finished their practice. They were walking up to him and he noticed that both boys were drenched in sweat while Tiffany still looked fresh and crisp. “Christ! You guys look like you’ve just had a sauna,” he said to them. “I gave them a good workout, Mr. Kinney,” Tiffany said. She smiled at him and all but batted her eyelashes. She had flirting down to a science. “Well, Tiffany, that’s what we’re paying you for,” he said, smiling right back. “Dad, is it okay if Tiffany stays for a while? We’d like to get in the pool and cool off,” Gus asked. “Sure,” Brian answered. I doubt the pool will do that! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gus watched as Tiffany walked towards the pool to join him and Austin in the water. She had discarded her tennis outfit for a bikini, a tiny pink thing that left very little to the imagination. He’d seen women half naked before, he certainly lived with enough of them, so a female body wasn’t any mystery. However, this body was having an entirely different effect on him; an effect that was becoming increasingly more uncomfortable whenever she was around. Austin had no qualms whatsoever about getting close to her and used every opportunity to cop a feel. He’d watched them earlier as she was teaching Austin how to serve and he saw how Austin ‘accidentally’ brushed his arm against her breast and something in him was annoyed by the whole display and he wanted to go up to him and tell him to quit it, but he couldn’t very well say anything in front of Tiffany. Later he had told Austin to stop trying to feel her up and Austin had told him to fuck off. It had surprised him because Austin never talked to him that way. Austin accused him of being jealous and wanting to do the same thing only he was too chicken shit to do it. Gus wondered if that were true. He and Ashley had been going out for quite some time now and he normally never even looked at other girls, much to the other cheerleader’s annoyance. They flirted with him non-stop, even though they all knew that he and Ashley were an item. It had become sort of a game with them, to see which one could make Gus cave and cheat on Ashley. The surprising thing was that he had been able to resist all of them, despite the fact that his relationship with Ashley had never gone past the hand holding and kissing stage. She had been willing enough to kiss him, but she never allowed him to feel her breasts much less slip his hand underneath her shirt to touch bare skin. They’d had several fights over that but she had remained adamant. It bugged the hell our of him, especially since he kept hearing talk in the locker room about all the other experiences his team mates were having and all the willing cheerleaders who were more than happy to share their love. Austin had been the recipient of some of this largess and he felt like an innocent compared to his best friend, however, he didn’t dare tell him that he and Ashley never did anything, because he felt it would diminish him in some way. And as the leader of his team, they all assumed he was way ahead of the game and getting some. Being away from Ashley and his friends was entirely different. Tiffany was creating feelings in him that he never even knew existed. She was on his brain more often than he cared to admit and his nocturnal activities seemed to have increased since having her in his life. Thank God he and Austin had separate rooms so his friend wouldn’t hear him tossing and turning at night and not to mention other more obvious noises to relieve himself and try and get some sleep. He thought about talking to Brian and asking for advice, however, he didn’t really know what he was going to say. Would it be okay to fuck the tennis instructor? He didn’t think that would go over very well with his father, and especially ‘DJ’. He would probably faint dead away if he said something like that. It was certainly eye opening to see Justin’s reaction to his teasing the other day. He’d always known he was more conservative than Brian, but to see his discomfort after knowing that he had been caught giving his partner a blowjob was hilarious. And that was another thing all together. Blowjobs were entirely on his mind as everyone around him seemed to be getting them and he had never come close. He was tired of hearing Austin tell him which girls did it and who was better than the others. He would have much rather been the one doing the telling and not the listening. Tiffany splashed some water at him, snapping him out of his self-analysis. “Come on Gus, I’ll race you to the other side of the pool. You ready?” Tiffany said to him, looking like one of the stars in the “Girls Gone Wild” DVD that he and Austin had swiped from his parents room one night. “Oh yeah,” he said, as his swimming trunks were getting more and more uncomfortable. “I’m ready.” TBC