Authors Note: Thank You to everyone who has read and reviewed the story. You all rock! Thanks to an awesome and great beta Gerri! I hope you all like it. :) Matters of the Heart
Ch. 10
"Brian I would like to speak to you when you are finished with your visit with Mr. Taylor." That’s when I knew I'd fucked up big time, I should have known better but something drew me to Justin. I wasn’t sure what it was but it did so all I could do was send Justin home and I had to go see Dr. Zippo to face my future. He was my mentor. I never wanted to disappoint him but now I fear that I may have done that and for what? I’m not sure. I’m standing outside his door and I have this over whelming fear that I am no longer going to be a doctor, everything I have worked so hard for and to done to escape my past just when down the toilet for a kiss. OH, God…! I knock on Dr. Zippo's door… "Come in." Here goes nothing; my future and my present rest in his hands. "Brian, come in and have a seat. We need to have a talk about what I happened to walk in on this afternoon." "Dr. Zippo, I’m… umm…" "No, Brian let me talk first and then you will have a chance to talk, is that okay with you?" "Yes sir." "Brian, do you know we encourage our Doctor’s and our residents not to get involved with their patients?" Brian nods his head. "If we get emotionally involved we could make mistakes that would have major consequences." "Now, there isn’t a rule, it’s just one of those unspoken rules we as doctors take on to do what’s in the best interests of our patients, but if you are involved with one them that's a different thing and it becomes what is more beneficial to you." "So, you have a decision; you can continue to be Mr. Taylor’s Doctor or you can be pulled of the case and receive and incomplete and be forced to re take this term and... "I won't get my licenses on time if I…" "That’s Correct." Neither man speaks as they contemplate the situation. "You have until 4:30pm to make a decision and Brian I know you will make the right choice as you will make a wonderful doctor and an even better Cardiologist." Brian stands to leave. "Thank Dr. Zippo; I will be back at 4: 30pm." As I close the door to Dr. Zippo’s office I start to walk through the hospital and make my way outside. I have a little over three hours to make choice about my future and you would think that it would be a no brainer, but it’s not. Justin. For some reason he has changed everything I mean yeah sure we have only know each other a little over two months but still every since the first day I saw his angelic beauty I knew I was so fucked but in a weird way I didn’t care. There was just something about Justin that drew me to him because I wanted more but then there’s this job…my career, my future. It is everything that I have worked so hard for and wanted. The only thing I can do is talk to Justin. I pull out my cell to call Justin and it should be the simplest thing but for some reason it feels it holds about 10,000 pounds of fear, hope, and many other emotions. I just listen to it ring and I swear I can’t focus. "Hello? Brian is that you?" "I’m coming over… we need to talk." "Okay." Brian hangs up. "Later." Justin whispers to a dial tone. There are a million things running threw my head at this moment because not only did we get caught but I have never felt anything for anyone that comes remotely close to what I feel for Brian. I honestly hated surgery but I swear waking up to those hazel eyes was like pure heaven. I honestly never thought anyone would want me, I’m damaged who would want someone with everything that's attached but for some reason this man, wonderfully brilliant man wants me… Justin was pulled from his thoughts by the door bell. I open the door and I swear Brian looks like death and I know what that looks like and all of sudden all the fear and anxiety I was feeling is back. I show Brian up to my room for some privacy as I just don’t want my mom or Molly coming home and interrupting. We walk into my room…. When Justin opens the front door I swear I knew what I was going to say and how I was going to do it but for some reason everything I had prepared on my way over just went out the window and for some reason in his eyes I see hope and love. God, how can he love me? Doesn't he realize that he can have any man in the world? When he showed me inside I expected to go into the living room but the blond had other plains instead he shows me upstairs to his room. We walk in and he sits on the bed and I just sit on his chair next the computer and I honestly don’t know what to say because all I can do is think about how bad I want to kiss him and hold him so I walk over to him and push him onto his bed. Brian pushed me on my back and is now laying on me. My mind is completely clouded by the feelings that are cursing threw me and I swear it seemed like my body was on fire and when he leaned down and kisses me I swear everything just flew out the window right there. As soon as I felt Justin’s lips pushing against mine I knew everything was right how could I be force to give up the blonde he was amazing and I knew I only want to get to know him more but as I am forced to make a choice, Justin and I continue to kiss each other and never miss a beat each time we remove a piece of our clothing and I am in awe of how beautiful Justin truly is and I’m gone. All the fear is gone and being with Justin for some reason has giving me hope and made me at peace with my choice. He rolls and I am assaulted by the pure sunshine smile. I lay there holding him against me his back toward me and I lean down and whisper in his ear… “Justin, wait for me” I look at my clock on the wall and I see that it is almost 4pm; I start to wonder what Brian will decide. I honestly didn’t want to force him to choose but I had to see if he was really cut out and wanted to be a cardiologist so as I expect to hear the knock on my door… "Come in Brian." "Have you made your choice?" "Yes, I have and I want you two know that it wasn’t an easy choice to make and I hope I will never again, but my choice is finally… "Well, what is it Brian?" "I want to stay and I'll keep my relationship with Justin as professional only." The End