I know its been awhile but I have been so out of it with the new pain killers. I want thank a few people. EVERYONE, thanks for waiting patiently for my updates. I want to thank my wonderful Beta, Carolyn I want to thank Tay for all her help Also thanks to Laranda for also being my second eyes and the help on where my mind was going. Also thanks to the Delph Gang for all their love and support. And to Roo, who without her pestering and love i wouldnt have gotten so far in my writing, And also thanks to Aida for her nagging on whats going on with her Heath. Also thanks to Lizzy and Pumpkin Doodles, I love you both. and now here is chapter 10. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WPS 10 Brian I can’t believe how Mikey would just come over after everything he did and still try to come between Justin and me by showing me a picture of them hugging and Heath giving Justin a kiss on his head. I know Justin wouldn’t do that again. He loves me and even said he isn’t giving up on me. And I won’t give up on him. Michael doesn’t get that Justin and I have the real thing, or he does but doesn’t care that he’s hurting everyone around him, including his own relationship which is now over. Ben stopped by to say he was going to Tibet and just wanted to wish Justin and me all the luck in the world. I thanked him for sticking around so long and asked him to keep in touch. He agreed that he would. So now I find myself sitting here in an empty loft. Well his stuff is all here, but it might as well be empty without him here. I remember the first night he came home with me. He was so young and so fucking hot that when I saw him under that street lamp, I practically creamed my pants. I smile to myself when I feel that ole familiar tightening feeling whenever I think of Justin. His blond hair, those amazing blue eyes. His perfect Sunshine smile. A smile that everyone would love to have. Justin always had this ‘thing’ about him. Something that makes everyone want to be around him, and I’m one of those people. This place is so lonely without him. I close my eyes just thinking about how I want him here with me. I rub my hand over my face and take a deep breath and sigh out, “Justin.” “Yes?” I jump hearing his voice and see him right in front me. “Fuck, you scared me. What are you doing here?” I look him up and down to make sure I’m not dreaming. When my eyes rest on face he has a smile. “Well I still live here don’t I?” He smiles even bigger when I can’t find my voice and just nod my head. “Hey Brian.” Heath smiles at me and I smile back. “Hi, Heath. Umm.” I try to say something more. “No problem man. Just listen to what he has to say and answer honestly.” Heath pats my back as I move over to Justin. “Can I touch you?” I ask quietly. Justin looks up at me and nods as I pull him in for a kiss. “I’m sorry Justin. I should have told you.” Justin looks up to my eyes and nods. “Yes you should have told me. It really hurt to find out through Michael. Brian I know you love me, I know you care for me but you can’t keep something like this from me. It’s way too important. Brian, you’re married to Heath. I think that’s as important as something can be.” I nod my head “I know and I’m sorry” but before I could finish he stops me. “I know you’re sorry. I’m not mad anymore, just confused. I’m still pissed about you not telling me. But it does make it easier to take that you kept saying my name that night, including at the ceremony.” He smiles at me and I feel my heart skip a beat. Only Justin could make me feel like this. I look over at Heath who nods his head. Looking back at Justin he puts a hand on my face. “I’ve had a lot to think about lately. One thing is that you kept this from me and I was questioned whether I could trust you. I know that you’ve always been honest and I know deep down inside you would have told me if there was anything still going.” I nod my head at him. “But it still hurts that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me.” “I just didn’t want anything to come between us, and that night is such a blur.” I quietly tell him. “He knows, I told him.” Heath tells me before moving away, I guess to give us some time alone. Justin turns my head towards him. “Brian, I’m saying we can work this out. It might take some time for me to get over not being your first husband but I really know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I love you.” I wipe a tear from his eye. “I love you too, Justin. I really do.” He wipes my tears and then his own. “Justin can you tell me something?” I know it’s not what Michael alluded to, but I need to know. “What were you and Heath doing in the park, when he hugged you and kissed your head?” He looks up into my face. “Brian.” I stop him. “Justin I know you didn’t do anything like that, but I just want to know.” “We talked about your wedding night and how I was the only name you cried out. That you never stopped talking about me. He hugged me as a friend and kissed me as a friend.” I nod and kiss him. “I know I just wanted to hear you say it.” He looks up at me. “Michael saw us and told you something didn’t he?” I just nod my head. “Figures.” Hugging him to me I take a long breath, inhaling his scent. “I missed you.” I whisper to him. “I missed you too, but I just needed to let things sink in. And I’m still pissed but we’ll work this out just like we do everything else.” I kiss his forehead. “And I’ve already gone to file for divorce. Did that on the way here.” Heath announces. “Thanks Heath.” I put my hand out, shaking his hand. “Thank you.” “Hey what are almost ex-husbands for?” He laughs out. Laughing I look at his eyes. “Well, thanks anyway.” Justin’s stomach begins making noises and it makes me turn back towards him. “Are you hungry?” He looks at me and grins. “Starving.” “Well why don’t we go to the diner and I’ll buy. It’s the least I can do for all I’ve done.” Justin and I look at each other and both tell him, “Sure” at the same time. Justin I can’t believe just how much things changed and how much I just want all this over. But I learned a lot from this also. I learned how much I do love Brian and just how much he loves me. I watch him as he talks with Heath and I just can’t help but smile. They probably were hot together. I think about what Heath told me at the park. How all of Brian’s actions and words are very clear to hear. That he loves me. I think back to all the years of wondering and now I see that even then he loved me. Brian has come so far since that night I met him. I knew he was ‘the one’. When I felt like I couldn’t breathe without him, I knew in my heart, in my soul, that he was the one. Yes I was hurt when I found out who Heath really was but I now know that it was me in his mind, and heart when he married Heath. Now standing here in our home again I know that we can work out anything, including his marriage to someone else. I love that man, more then anything and we will always work it out. He’s a great guy, under all that façade. I fell in love with him that night under the light. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’re stronger now because of them. Nothing will break us apart now. Heath As Brian and Justin were talking about things I can’t help but watch how they are. The way they look at each other, the way they touch, and touch without actually touching. Their hearts and souls are connected. I don’t know what made me think I could win out over Justin and get Brian. I can see now that no one could come between them. Not even Brian’s so called ex-best friend. I see the way Brian is with Justin. He’s a different man. A more relaxed side of Brian is revealed -- and without the drugs. He sustains a natural relaxed high with Justin. I watch their body language and even though they’re fighting, the love and passion and sexual tension are all obvious in their bodies. There’s a knock on the door as Brian goes to open it. “Ben?” Brian quietly moves aside letting the tall handsome man in. “Yea I wanted to stop by when I saw Justin’s car outside and tell him ‘bye’.” Brian nods as he moves in, so gracefully. “Ben, what do you mean by ‘bye’?” Justin asks coming over. “Well I’m going to go to Tibet. I just wanted to say that I wish you and Brian all the luck and love in the world.” Justin hugs him. “Thanks Ben. You know I’m sorry about you and Michael.” Justin tells him. “Well, he brought it on himself.” Justin nods. I can’t contain myself. “Well we’re just about to head over to the diner for something to eat, my treat. Why don’t you join us? I mean you aren’t leaving just yet are you?” I hope that doesn’t sound too forward. “Well I’m not leaving just yet. I’m staying at a hotel until I do. I would be glad to join you and the boys.” Smiling he looks back to Brian and then to Justin. “Well, why stay at a hotel when there’s plenty of room at my place?” I blurt out and look away. “Are you sure?” Ben asks. “I could use more room to do a few things.” Ben smiles and my heart skips a beat. “Yes, I’m sure.” Nodding he agrees to stay with me. “Well let’s go eat.” Justin announces after yet again his stomach makes it known that it’s time to eat. Laughing and heading to the diner Ben agrees to ride with me. No sense in taking an extra car when we can just come back and get the other later. Driving over we talk about Brian and Justin as well as Michael and him. I feel bad for the guy. We also talk about Tibet. It sounds interesting. He invited me to go with him and to see it for myself. I told him I would think about it. I’ll give it a great deal of serious thought. Pulling up to the diner we see Brian and Justin hand in hand and talking, smiling and just being happy. It’ll take awhile to get over this but, as I said, I filed for divorce this morning. Walking in and having Ben hold the door open is very nice. We take a seat and wait for our order to be taken. We never noticed Michael on the other side of the room, glaring. Michael I look up to see who set the bell over the door off when in walks Brian with Justin, hand in hand and I can’t stand it. Then I see Ben walking in and I smile. But that smile fades fast when Heath walks in behind him and Ben is talking to him, walking over to a booth, and sitting down next to each other. I can’t believe Ben is with them. How could he do this? I hear them talking about Tibet and Ben asking Heath to go. But Heath said he will think about it. That it might be a good change. I also heard that Ben is staying with Heath until he, or rather they leave. I can’t believe how fast my life is slipping away. Looking down at my food I start to think of a way to destroy him and Justin. And the next thought that comes to my mind puts a smile on my face. I know just what to do to make all this and them disappear. Or at least Heath and Justin.