Thanks to my beta TC and to the girls.
Brian’s POV: “You are both HIV negative.” We both sigh into each other and Justin looks up to me with tears forming. It felt like days before she answered us. “I recommend you both come back every six months and keep getting a test, to be safe.” “Thank you Dr. Sidney.” I don’t take my eyes off Justin’s. “I’ll see you guys. I recommend you to use condoms.” “Thanks, Doctor.” Justin whispers and as the doctor walks out Justin falls into my arms. “You okay, Sunshine?” I ask him. He nods his head. “I am now.” “Let’s get out of here.” Once we get to the loft, we see Michael. He is standing by the door as we pull up. I jump out of the car and go over to him. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I blurt out. “I want to know if he is okay. If you are both okay.” He remarks as he looks at Justin. “I’m fine. Both of us were negative.” Justin tells him. Mikey hugs him and Justin hugs him back for a moment before pushing him away. “Thanks for stopping by to make sure we are okay. But I don’t want to see you again. You are a fucking asshole. “ “Justin?” He looks to me. “This is his choice. He is relieved we are both ok. He is also sorry you have it but Mikey, you are not welcome here anymore. After what happened and finding out that we are both negative we decided to move back to New York. I called and told them my extended leave is over and that I will be back. I came to town only because I needed to see my family again. I have seen them and now, I am going back and I asked Justin to go with me. For a new start.” He looks at Justin who nods his head. I had to talk him into moving with me. He needs a new start with a new life and the new life with me and as long as we are here, I have a feeling we won’t have the full chance we deserve. “Justin, please don’t go.” “I want to get away, Michael. I have to get away. I can’t be around you right now. Knowing what happened and what you did and the fucking risk you put me and Brian in is too much.” “I’ll leave you alone.” Michael tells him. “Maybe we can talk later.” “Michael, I am going with Brian. If I want a new start I have to go. It is over with you and me and I am so fucking sorry it is, because even though you did this I still love you. A part of me always will. But I will never be able to forgive you for this. I could never be with you again.” “So, you are settling with Brian?” “NO, I am not settling. I feel for Brian. I have feelings for him. No not as strong as they were for you but in time I am sure they will be.” And with that he walked inside. Turning around he looks at Michael. “Take care of yourself Mikey.” Without taking his eyes off Michael he adds. “You coming, Brian?” “Yeah, in just a sec, go on up.” He nods and goes inside. I turn to Michael and take his arm, pulling him away from the door. “Michael, I am sorry that you have this disease, but get this through your head. He isn’t coming back to you and if you even think about following us to New York, I will hurt you. He doesn’t want you around. Please give him what he wants. And if you ever try to come between us again, I will not be as forgiving as I am now. Got it?” He nods his head. “He is hurting over all of this and it is taking everything in me to keep my cool with you. You have said and done some fucked up things Michael, but putting someone at risk like you did him, that is the most fucked up thing a person could do. He loved you and for the record, I would never have tried to break you two up. He was happy with you and you fucked it up. You put him and me at risk. I could care less for myself, but Justin deserves better and for you to so gradually put him at risk, THAT is the worse thing you ever fucking did. And if he was positive, I would be all over your fucking ass and not in a life-affirming way. The only reason you told was because you were caught. It breaks my heart that you would do that to someone you say you love. “ “Brian...” “No, listen to me good Mikey, stay away from my boyfriend, or you won’t like what I will do to you. He means more to me than even myself.” “Okay, I promise, I’ll stay away. You won’t have to worry about me.” “Good, now run home and stay the fuck away from mine until we are able to forgive you for this shit.” And with that I walk upstairs to my boyfriend and my future Once I get upstairs I see Justin looking out the window. “I don’t know what you said to him, and I don’t want to know. Just promise me something Brian. Promise me that moving to New York with you won’t end in disaster. I don’t think I can handle getting hurt again.” I put my arms around him and pull him into me. “I promise I won’t hurt you on purpose. I promise I will love you and I promise I will do all I can to make you happy.” “That’s good enough for me.” He turns around and kisses me. “Justin, I love you and I want you happy. I know that things won’t be totally happy when we get there, but I want you to know that by your next birthday, you will be happy.” “Brian, I am happy with you. It’s just that it still hurts and I really can’t rush into things. Yes, I am going to New York with you but we still need to keep things slow like they are.” “Understood. Just know that when you are ready, I will be here and I am glad you are okay.” “I’m glad you are too.” I kiss him softly which soon turns into an all out frenzy kiss. I moan into his mouth as I pull away, looking down at him and he smiles. “It’s been awhile, I think we have to catch up on our love making.” I tell him as his smile grows. “Yeah, I didn’t want to do anything without knowing the truth.” “It’s alright baby, lets just make up for it now.” And with eagerness we make our way to the bedroom where we proceed to make love for the remainder of the afternoon. He is on top of me, running his hand over my nipple. “You keep doing that Sunshine and I won’t be able to keep the beast down.” He laughs and moves his hand lower, stroking the beast in his hand. He leans up looking into my eyes and never stopping his movements he jerks me off and even though it was only his hand it was one of the best orgasms I have felt. “Sunshine, you are the light of my life.” “And you are mine. I know I am not being the best right now, but I promise the future will get better.” “Justin, I love you. I have never said that to anyone like I do you. But you have showed me that real love can happen and that there are good people out there who know what real love is.” “Thanks, Brian.” “No, thank you.” I start to stroke him as he strokes me. He leans over me, placing our cocks together and rubs them together. He kisses my mouth and moves his hips into me. The friction between us is so pleasurable that we are both reaching our orgasms without even touching with our hands but just dick to dick. It was one of the best yet to cum. We get up and take a shower together. Two blowjobs later we are sitting on the couch, going over things to take with us. *********************************** Michael’s POV: As I walk away from Justin and Brian’s I can’t help but get a sickening feeling. I know that I fucked up and that I need to make things right. I don’t know what else to do. I lost the one person who loved me the most. I know Ben loves me and he wants to be there for me since he is the one who infected me and I don’t hold it against him. I should have been more careful with him. Knowing he was positive but then it is my own fault. I told Ben that we couldn’t be together anymore and not because I didn’t care for him, it’s just that I didn’t realize how much Justin meant to me. I lost him. Now my ex boyfriend is with my ex best friend and it’s my own fault. I pushed him there. I cheated on him. Well, now I know that I don’t have my choice but to do what I planned from the beginning. Justin will be better off this way. He will thank me later. If I ever want piece of mind, I have to do this. I have to for Justin. I take out a pen and paper and put my plan into action. The first thing I do is write down all the things I want to say to Justin and Ben and Ma and Vic. I tell Ma and Vic how much I love them and how sorry I am. I also tell them not to blame Justin in any way, that this is my decision. I can’t live with what I have done to Justin. I also write to Ben, telling him I’m sorry as well, that I don’t blame him for what happened. I say I love him but I can’t live with this and the fear of getting sick. I’m not as strong as he is. Then the hardest ones to write are to Brian and Justin. I write them separate. Telling Brian I’m sorry and to take care of Justin. I tell Justin a few other things and leave it on the table with the rest of the letters. I then walk into the bedroom, picking up Justin’s blue sweater. The blue one. He loved that shirt and I loved him in it. I put on his shirt, I want to be close to him in the end and feel the warmth and the smell of him that the shirt still holds. I love his smell. I walk to the bed where I have the objects ready. The drugs, the needles already with the drugs in them, and the arm band. I brought some steroids off some dealer in the street. I saw Ben use them a few times and thought they wouldn’t be a bad choice. I place the armband around my arm. I take the two needles that are full of the substance and put them beside me on the bed. I pick up one needle, taping it as seen in movies and then stick it into my arm. I push the liquid in and feel it slide into my veins. I pull it out and place the second one in my arm. Releasing the liquid as well. I lean my head back taking the armband off. I put my head against the headboard and start to remember the good times that Justin and I had. I remember his blue eyes that sparkled. His gorgeous flowing blond hair. I remember his big smile. I remember how he kissed me. How he made love to me. How he would make me feel like I was the only one in his life. I think I hear the door opening. I close my eye, opening them to see Ben at my side, begging me not to die. *********************** Ben’s POV: I decide to go see Michael and see how Justin and Brian’s appointment went. We broke up but I still care for him. We decided to stay friends for now. He seemed really down not wanting to talk. “Michael.” I yell for him but get no answer. I move into the living room. I spot some letters on the table. Picking them up ‘Justin’, ‘Brian’, ‘Ted & Emmett’, ‘Ma & Vic’ and there is also one for me. I open the one for me as I begin to read it my heart skips a beat. “Ben, I know I cheated with you on Justin and I want you to know that I do love you. I don’t blame you for my condition. Under any circumstance do I blame you. I am just not as strong as you. I am also ashamed for what I did to Justin by putting him at risk as well as Brian and never said anything until it was too late. My life is over. Take care of yourself. Love, Michael. ” My heart jumps into my throat. A suicide note. “Michael!” I look around but don’t see him. I run into the bedroom to see Michael lying on the bed. I run to his side. “Michael!” He opens his eyes and closes them. I spot the steroid bottle and notice it’s empty. “MICHAEL, DON’T YOU DIE ON ME!” I yell at him, picking up the phone to dial 9-11 and hope they get here on time.