This chapter is for Sid who decided I needed to write faster. Here you go Sid. Also thanks to my beta Carly for a great job. Thanks to the girls and the ones who read my stories.Enjoy. Feel free to leave feedback.<HR>




<b>Dade POV:</b>

When Brian called me and told me Justin was in bad shape I didn’t realize just how bad it was. I walk over towards the bed where Justin is lying on his side, curled up in a ball.

“Justin, its Dade. It’s going to be ok. Can you hear me?” I calmly say in a comforting voice.

He doesn’t move or say anything, but I can see my voice is registering in his head. I keep talking.

“Justin, its Dade. I am here for you. You know you are safe I need you to concentrate on my voice. Can you do that?” There was still no answer from the shaking man on the bed.

I sit down next to him, never letting my voice stop. He needs to keep hearing it to make it register quicker. He stops whining and just looks up at me with a blank look on his face.

“Dade, help me,” he whispers.

“Ok, tell me where you are.” I softly touch his arm.

“I’m at the house. My dad is laughing at me. Telling me I will never escape him. That I killed my sister. That I killed my mother. That I’ll kill anyone I loved and that is the reason I can’t kill him. He has a belt and hits me with it, over and over.” I look at his face to see where he is.

“He is telling me that I can move in with Emmett but I will see him again. Oh my god. I am so weak.” He cries out. 

“No Justin, you aren’t. Your father was the weak one. He had to use abuse towards his family. It takes a wimp to hit children and a woman.” 

“I can hear his laugh.”

“Justin, he’s dead.” I start to say more but he stops me.

“I know, but it’s like it’s haunting me. I know he’s dead. Em killed him.” He shakes at the thought.

“Does it bother you?”

“Yes, I should have done it. I shouldn’t have left.” 

“Justin, you were in shock then. Em didn’t want it on your hands. You have enough to deal with,” I calmly say.

“I know. Dade, god, my family is all gone. I have friends left but no family. And it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have been late. Molly shouldn’t have had to take my beating.” He starts to cry again. I can see just how much he is hurting over this.

“Justin.” I keep saying his name to keep him in the here and now. “Justin, its over. You may not have the family with blood, but you have something just as strong with family with heart.” I run my hand up his arm.

“I should have protected them.” 

“You were just a kid too.” 

“I was never a kid in his eyes,” he says just above a whisper.

“Ok, tell me what you are feeling right now.” 

“Hurt. Disappointed. Like I don’t deserve to be happy. Pain.” 

“Want to tell me why you feel these things?” I reply.

“Hurt from all the pain. Physically and emotionally. Disappointed in myself for letting this happen. Like I don’t deserve to be happy for all the pain everyone has gone through since I came into their lives. Like Em, he killed him to protect me. Brian, for just everything I have put him through lately. He deserves to be happy and I am not doing that. He cries for me Dade. He is the sweetest man. I love him. How can I put him through this? How can I want him to? Because I do. I want him with me. I can’t do it alone.”  I see some tears roll down his cheeks. 

“Justin, first off, these people all love you and they would be more hurt if they lost you. Second, you did everything you should have done.” I try to say when Justin cries out.

“NO, you don’t understand. They are in pain because of me. My sister and mother are dead because of me. Emmett killed my father because of me. All the pain and suffering is because of me. I was weak and stupid and my so-called heart family as you call them is feeling sorry for me. I don’t want fucking pity. I just want it to go back to the way it was before they all found out. I want them happy and go lucky. But they don’t right now because they are worried about me. Brian CRIES because of me. How in the hell can I accept that? He’s so fucking incredible and gorgeous. He went through enough growing up and deserves more then this,” he says out of anger. 

“Justin.”

“No Dade. Fuck you. Fuck this therapy shit. It’s all going to be the same. It will always haunt me. I can’t stop it.” He falls over into my leg and holds his head. 

“Justin?” 

“Shit, and I can’t even get a regular headache. they have to be migraines.” He throws something across the room. 

“Justin?” 

“Why, why fucking me? Why my fucking family? Why?” He screams again as he throws a few glasses against the wall.

 I let him continue to scream and throw things across the room, knowing this will help get it out. Once he is through, he falls to the floor hitting himself in the head with his hands. I rush over and kneel behind him, pulling him into my arms.

“Justin calm down. It’s ok to be angry. Its ok to hurt and throw things to get it out, but hurting yourself isn’t going to help. Please listen to me. Calm down.” I keep repeating it until I feel him calm down in my arms.

“Dade, why?” Justin all but whispers to me.

“Because your father was an asshole. Because he needed to pick on someone smaller.”

“But at the apartment,” he starts.

“At the apartment you were reflecting back to childhood Justin. It happens to survivors of abuse. He was supposed to love you unconditionally but didn’t.” 

He cries more into my shoulder as I rub his back.  

I get up, taking him to the couch and sitting him down. I grab us bottles of water as he opens his and drinks it, pouring half over his head.

I can see what Brian sees in him. He’s gorgeous. But this is a job and Brian would kill me if I didn’t keep it professional.

For a while we sit there, not saying a word, reflecting on what has been said and done.

“I think I have had enough tonight Dade,” he tells me.

“We won’t talk about anything you don’t want to. You scared Brian though.”

“I know, where is he?” He looks at me like he just now noticed that Brian wasn’t here.

“I sent him out for drinks when I got here.” I smile at him. “So it’s just us.”

“Dade, thanks for coming over. I guess I needed to vent and when Brian told me he cried for me, I guess it hit me.” 

“No apology needed. I am glad to help. You want to talk about anything?” I look at him and for a moment I can see something.

“What is it Justin?” I turn my body towards him.

“Just that I don’t know how to react to Brian now.”

“Just be your normal self. He knows you have been through a lot and just wants to help and be there. He loves you.”

“I know.” Just then the sliding glass door opens and in walks Brian.

<b>Brian POV:</b>
     
  I open the sliding loft door slowly, trying to hear if it was safe for me to come in. I hear them talking and for a moment I think that I should shut the door and wait for Dade to call me.

“It’s ok Brian. You can come in,” I hear Justin tell me. I walk in and see them sitting on the couch.

“Sorry I forgot to call you. I guess I forgot the time. Sorry Brian.” I nod in his direction. Looking around, I see the condition of the loft. 

I hear Justin laughing as I look over at him. “I’m sorry Brian. My anger got the better of me. But I didn’t break anything of value or anything of yours.” 

“Sunshine I am not worried about that, as long as it helped and you are alright now.” I see him smile again as they both start laughing. 

“What?” I say starting to wonder if they have been smoking.

“Nothing. It’s just that, I am not used to this side of the king of Liberty Avenue,” Dade tells me.

Justin starts laughing even harder and when we look at him he laughs more. “Spill it Justin.” 

“I was just thinking. I went from staying with the Queen of Liberty to the King Of Liberty.” He laughs more. I don’t know why but so do I. 

“I get it. Emmett the Queen.” Dade lets out and then I laugh out loud more. Now I get it.

After we have all stopped laughing Dade gets up and hands Justin some pills. 

“These will help you rest. Don’t worry it has nothing you are allergic to.” Justin takes them and looks at me.

“Why don’t you go lay down? I’ll be in after locking up.” He nods at me and shakes hands with Dade.

“Thank you.” he tells him. 

“You are very welcome Justin. Call me anytime.” Justin nods again and walks into the room.

I walk Dade to the door, opening it. I shake his hand. He holds it and looks up at me.

“Is he ok?” I ask him.

“He will be. Just give him some time. And Brian, he loves you. But he is afraid it’s all too much for you. I can’t tell you what we talked about but I will tell you this much. He’s afraid he is putting too much on you. That you deserve better. Just show him he matters to you no matter what.” 

“Thanks again Dade for coming over so fast.” I smile at him as I let go of his hand. He walks out and waves to me over his shoulder as he goes down the stairs.

“Brian, everything okay?” I hear Justin ask.

“Yes, just locking up.” I close the door and set the alarm before making my way into the room where I see Justin laying under the covers. 

I remove my clothing and climb in beside him. Justin moves over and lays his head on my chest as I wrap my arm around him I notice something different. 

Justin reaches over and takes a hold of my dick as I catch my breath at the shock. I notice what is different. Justin is naked.

I remove his hand from my cock and hold it in my hand. I bring it to my lips and kiss his knuckles. He lifts his eyes to look at me. 

“Not tonight Sunshine. I just want to hold you in my arms. I want you to know I will always be here for you. And not just for the sexual parts.” 

“But Brian.” 

“No buts Sunshine unless it’s your BUTT going to sleep. We have plenty of time for loving each other. We have time for all of it Justin. I want that and so much more with you, but right now all I want is to hold you and feel you in my arms. It’s been a long night. So sleep Sunshine. I will be right here in the morning.” I kiss his forehand again as he nestles into my neck.

“I love you Brian.” He whispers so low that I have to strain to hear him. 

“I love you too Justin.” He falls asleep with a smile on his face. I look to his sleeping face. Smiling I kiss his head once more. Running my hand through his hair I whisper, “More the you will ever know.”