Hurt by Johnny Cash
Also done by NIN{Nine inch Nails}
Brian's POV
I sit here watching Justin sleeping after the prom. It’s been a week since he was hit. I can’t help but feel like this is my fault.
If I wouldn’t have gone. If I would have just stayed away.
I can hear the nurse talking to me but my mind is so fucking gone that the only thing that I can think of when I look through this window is a song.
A fucking song isn’t what Brian Kinney is about, but this song I heard on the way here makes me stop and think.
Hurt myself today.
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I look down at my shaking hands. I have hurt him. I have let him down. I let everyone down.
I didn’t want him hurt. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone but Jack Kinney.
I see Justin move and shake his head in a dream. I want to take those bad dreams from him.
I close my eyes as the song comes back into mind.
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
I can’t fix this. How can I fix this?
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
But I can’t seem to leave. He is important to me.
I know what pain is. I know what it is liked to be hit. I have all the stains, but Justin is the one who made me believe again.
That I belong somewhere.
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
Please don’t go away Justin. Please don’t leave me. I need you.
I will gladly give you anything you want.
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
But together we will make it better.
We will hurt each other, this I know.
But I hurt more without you.
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
But I want to start again with Justin. I will find a way to make this up to you.
With tears I sit back down, knowing that this hurts way more then Jack hitting me.
“I love you.” I whisper through my tears, looking through the window, where no one could hear me.
And from this point on, I will show you.
Not just show, I will tell you.
Because I can't handle this kind of hurt anymore.