What's In A Name? Chapter 1: “Hi Em … how’s it going?” asked Brian anxiously, as he looked at his watch again. The man he’d addressed inwardly sighed and looked up at the ceiling before turning around and smiling sweetly. That had to be the tenth time Brian had asked that same question since 8:00am. “Everything is fine … everything will be perfect,” came the answer, said with infinite patience. And before Brian could say anything else, even though Emmett could see he was about to: “The Champagne is in the refrigerator … the last of the food is being prepared now … which will be divine, by the way.“ “The wait staff have arrived … the tables are laid … the flowers …” “Okay … okay … I get the picture,” declared Brian, backing off and his hands held up in mock surrender. Emmett surveyed him approvingly, noticing that Brian had changed out of the casuals he was wearing first thing this morning and was now dressed in a very expensive dark green suit. But there was one thing that needed Emmett’s immediate attention and he moved towards him. “Tell me … is Justin as nervous as you are?” asked Emmett quietly, so the kitchen staff couldn’t overhear and he tried not to grin as he straightened Brian’s tie. The man frowned back at him. “Who says I’m nervous?” Emmett chuckled. “I do … because this is for Justin … and you can’t fool me.“ “Okay … I admit it,” sighed Brian. “I’m probably more nervous now then when I launched Kinnetik,” he confessed, and Emmett patted Brian’s chest and stood back to admire his handiwork. “There … that’s better.” “Now … why don’t you go and see if the man of the moment needs anything?” Brian shook his head. “Justin says he has everything under control.” He sounded exasperated and Emmett couldn’t help grinning properly this time. Poor Brian, he still hated it when he wasn’t in total command, but Emmett didn’t want him cluttering up the kitchen and taking him by the shoulder, he turned Brian around. “Shoo … go and see if there are any guests arriving … there’s always a few early birds.” “Alright … I get the hint,” groaned Brian, and begrudgingly allowing himself to be summarily dismissed, Brian left, wondering if there was anything he could help Gus with instead. After the trauma surrounding the events with Ethan Gold and then the tree planting ceremony, a year to the day following the death of Lindsay and Melanie, over the ensuing months, things had gradually settled down. As well as they ever could, that is, in the Kinney/Taylor household. With Cynthia now managing the New York office full time, Brian arranged his working life in Pittsburgh so that he could spend time at home whenever possible, and only visiting NYC about once a month, spending just a couple of days each trip, unless anything specific came up. But they had a wonderful housekeeper in Rosa, who loved to look out for Gus after school when neither Brian or Justin could be there, and so far, these arrangements had worked fine. There were the usual teething problems, but on the whole, Gus had seemed to settle pretty well into his school since the move to the house and his grades had shown good progress. He’d gotten involved in the youth soccer program and, like his dad before him, Gus played an important role in his club team, winning his place in the squad right away. Justin had continued to work at Kinnetik for a while, making sure the art department functioned satisfactorily as he’d helped his replacement ease into his post. But more than ever, Justin was wanting to go out on his own and start up his own company. Be his own man. Several Months Earlier: While he still had a role at Kinnetik, albeit much diminished, Justin split his time. He still oversaw the advertising artwork for Brian, but now mostly worked independently and had begun developing contacts and building up a small customer base of his own, away from Kinnetik. For the time being, Justin resigned himself to putting his art ambitions mostly on the back burner. He was determined not to live off Brian, as that would be far too easy, not that Brian would probably let him, never one to allow the people closest to him to simply coast through life. But he knew the man would always be willing to bail him out if necessary. Instead, Justin decided to wait until he had enough funds behind him before dedicating more time to his own creations, when hopefully, his business could then employ an assistant at the least. Somehow, Justin just couldn’t see himself as the starving artist, he was far too practical for that. He still had the enthusiasm for his art and continued to draw and paint, but for the moment it was mostly for relaxation, but he certainly intended to aim at concentrating fully on his own art one day and hopefully, in the not too distant future. And although he would be prepared to take on commissions, he didn‘t like the idea of mass producing commercial art. Justin’s art was borne from passion and came from the heart and soul, and he could only hope that other people might appreciate his work. He had no real interest in whether or not someone else liked it enough to buy it. If he was satisfied and the picture said what he’d wanted it to when it was completed, that was enough. But he was realistic enough to know that, unfortunately, that didn’t pay the bills. Justin had decided, after all, to stay with East Coast Recordings; Ethan’s recording company, creating CD covers and promotional material. It was far too lucrative currently to give up, but thankfully, he would have no further contact with Mr. Gold. Tony Marshall from ECR, had understood there had been something between the two men that Justin did not want to resurrect or even discuss, and had agreed to not even ask him to produce something for Ethan’s latest album. Slowly, but surely, Justin was beginning to make a reputation for himself, but then realized that he needed to launch his business officially. All he needed was a name. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian was filled with pride at seeing how determined Justin was to set up on his own and be his own boss, and he had Ted go through everything with Justin that the younger man would need to know about running his own business and specifically, not getting into trouble with the IRS. The next consideration was his workspace. Justin wanted to stand on his own feet as much as possible, but couldn’t afford premises in town. Besides, he too wanted to be able to carry out his share of duties with regards to caring for Gus and was quite prepared to work from home. So, after talking through his options, with the floor reinforced, Justin’s studio in the loft at the house was extended to take in any remaining storage area and including the installation of more working surfaces and an additional computer and lighting. Justin wanted to pay for the work of course, but not totally unexpectedly, Brian refused to allow him to. “Contribute later … when you can afford it,” the older man had told him. “As the business grows … you’ll be needing materials … maybe new software,” stated Brian and Justin groaned, but finally agreed. But inwardly he was both pleased and exasperated in equal proportions. Would Brian never stop looking out for him, wondered Justin and, in the same thought, hoped the man never would. Justin had reached up on tiptoes to kiss him, the love in his eyes all the thanks Brian needed. But that wasn‘t enough for Justin. “Then … take this on account?” offered the younger man as he eventually pulled away. They were up in the studio, looking over the alterations that could be made and moving to his laptop on the desk, Justin brought up the relevant folder. Frowning, not sure what Justin was referring to, Brian stepped forward to take a look and instantly recognized the logo. “That’s the Pentronix account,” announced the older man, in surprise, as he sat down at the desk and reaching over Brian’s shoulder and with a touch of a button, Justin set the powerpoint presentation going. “It’s still in the early stages … there’s still work to do on it …” Brian shook his head in amazement. “We haven’t even really talked about this yet … but this is exactly how I envisaged it … how did you know that’s what I was wanting?” Leaning down, Justin chuckled in his ear from behind. “Oh … I think I know how your mind works by now.” “You do, huh?” stated Brian, raising an eyebrow and quickly, he swiveled the chair around and grabbed the younger man’s wrist; not roughly, but with just enough pressure to send a tingle down Justin‘s spine. Brian held him there, not that the younger man had any intentions of going anywhere and without any resistance, Brian pulled him down into his lap. “So … you think you understand my needs?” stated Brian, with an oh-so mischievous look in those sparkling hazel eyes. Justin nodded slowly. “Oh, I think I know exactly what you need,” whispered the younger man, leaning forward so that his face was close to Brian’s, his hot breath caressing Brian’s skin and voice now husky with the promise of sex, but Brian couldn’t help chuckling at him. “Yep … you probably do … you certainly got this right,” to which Justin grinned, though unsure whether Brian was referring to the graphics work he’d done for him, totally unsolicited, or for the way he now deliberately squirmed in the older man’s lap. “You might even say it’s Taylor-made …” Brian gasped and his voice trailed off as a result of Justin lightly kissing his jaw, and he leant his head back in order to give Justin greater access to his throat. Brian’s words, for the moment, passed Justin by, as he concentrated on what he was doing, showering Brian with light, delicate kisses and nips as his nimble fingers now sought the button on Brian’s jeans. But suddenly, the proverbial light bulb ‘pinged’ and Justin sat bolt upright. “What did you say?” he asked and Brian sighed and shook his head. “Finally … I wondered how long that would take,” chuckled the older man, though he couldn’t help feeling disappointed that Justin had ceased his ministrations. “But … but that’s it … that’s perfect.“ “Why the hell didn’t I think of that?” and with all thoughts of sex now pushed from his mind, Justin reached around Brian for the laptop. But Brian had other ideas and pushing him off, gently but firmly, he stood up and caught the younger man around the waist. With a much practiced move, Brian lifted Justin off his feet and moved him over to the large bean bag that Gus had liked so much and that Justin had agreed would look great in his studio. And he laid Justin down on his back. “The idea isn’t going anywhere … and neither are you,” stated Brian, smiling and now leaning over him. “True,” agreed Justin, hungrily pulling his lover’s shirt from the waistband of his jeans. “And I guess it’s only fair.” Brian had begun to unbutton Justin’s shirt but now frowned and catching the man’s confusion, Justin continued. “After all … I named your company,” he explained, referring to that drunken night at Woody’s when Kinnetik was created and Brian nodded. “Then what say we celebrate the birth of yours,” and as Justin now reached down and released Brian from his jeans, the older man sought Justin’s mouth with his own. And that was how Taylor Made Designs was born. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Present: Justin’s business picked up speed and once deciding on an official launch, never one to turn down the chance of a party, Brian suggested holding a reception. Talking it over together, Justin first of all thought of using the Kinnetik offices and Brian would have been more than happy to oblige, but instead he suggested they use an hotel or even the house. They were in Brian’s office at Kinnetik at the time and Justin smiled, and leaned down to kiss the man who was sitting at his desk, realizing of course, that Brian intended that Justin’s business be regarded as totally separate from his own. “I would love to use the house,” stated Justin and getting together with Emmett, they decided on a date in the early summer when it wasn‘t too hot, for a garden reception and giving everyone time to clear their diaries. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Without neglecting their other duties, it had taken a helluva lot of hard work to get everything together, including the work in the loft. But the preparations had gone well, without too many headaches along the way. A marquee had been set up on the lawn with tables inside, laid with top quality, white linen, crystal tableware and beautiful floral decorations. Over the previous weeks, with the work going on in the house and hearing Brian and Justin talking about it so much, Gus had gotten really excited about the upcoming event. Justin was pleased to think Gus was interested in what he was doing and with neither man wanting to exclude him, Brian agreed Gus could take the day off school in order to be there, as long as one of his classmates came over later and passed on the notes taken that day. And when the day had finally arrived, it was perfect. Warm enough, with just a few high clouds and a little light breeze. Emmett’s team was working hard to have everything ready by the time the guests started to arrive. Jennifer Taylor, whose real estate business was still doing well, despite the down turn in the housing market, had arrived early, as moms have a tendency to do, in order to offer whatever help she could for the day. She’d come on her own, though recently she had started dating again. Jennifer hadn’t mentioned this fact so far to Justin, slightly fearful of his reaction. She knew this was probably illogical, as deep down Justin wouldn’t likely begrudge her; she deserved something good, after the lousy marriage she’d had with his father, Craig. But the man she was currently seeing was a good many years younger than she. Jennifer knew her fears should, of course, be unfounded. After all, Justin was with a man twelve years his senior. But it was more likely nearly 20 years separated Jennifer from Tucker; in fact he was probably closer to Justin’s age than her own. Tucker had offered to accompany her today, but Jennifer gently refused. Introducing her son to her lover on the day he was launching his own business, with all the usual trauma and hassles of putting such an event together, probably wouldn’t endear either of them. That would have to wait for another day. Jennifer’s non-conditional love and support for Justin was much appreciated, not only by Justin, but by Brian too. It had taken a while, but eventually overcoming her initial doubts, Jennifer could see how much Brian loved her son and had grown very fond of him. Brian, in turn, looked upon the woman as both friend and family and she came to the house or lunched with Justin or both of them in town, frequently. Jennifer was thrilled to think that after everything he’d been through, that Justin would own his own business and a prouder mom would be hard to find. The only real cloud on the horizon was the unrelenting attitude of her ex-husband towards his son, with Craig Taylor still cutting Justin from his life. Even though he’d resigned himself to how his father felt, Justin couldn’t help wishing the man could be there. He’d even sent him an invitation, but hadn’t received so much as an acknowledgement, let alone have his invitation accepted and in that respect, he wasn‘t disappointed. Apparently his dad didn’t care how his son’s life was turning out. “Fuck him … it’s his loss,” Brian had told him as he’d helped Justin on with his suit jacket as they’d changed this morning and he’d reached out to smooth down the shoulders and then stepped back to look at him. “Wow … you look terrific,” the older man told him quietly and Justin turned to face the mirror. He’d managed to force down just one slice of toast this morning and his stomach was churning with nerves. “I do?” Justin asked him, and looking at this reflection, he tugged at first one cuff and then the other, unaccustomed to being so formerly attired. Now also having changed into a suit, Brian moved up behind him and putting his arms around the smaller man’s waist, drew him in. “Yes, you do,” Brian assured him and Justin chuckled. “I feel like I’m going to a wedding,” and subconsciously, he fingered the ring he was wearing. The ring that Brian had given him just after they’d gotten back together. From over Justin’s shoulder, Brian studied the younger man’s reflection and tried not to frown. Their partnership was as serious as it could ever get, but Brian couldn’t help wondering if maybe getting married still figured on Justin’s agenda, even though they’d never discussed it. It wouldn’t mean a damn thing of course; their union would remain unrecognized and invalid as far as the governing powers were concerned. As for Brian, he regarded that they didn’t need to make a public statement about their partnership and he’d thought Justin had felt the same way. But looking at him now, he was beginning to wonder. Justin smiled back at him in the mirror and for a moment, thought he saw a quick flash of confusion and concern in the older man’s eyes and then he realized what he’d said. Was Brian thinking he was serious about the wedding quip, wondered Justin and he turned around in Brian’s arms, reached up on tiptoes and kissed him. “What was that for?” “For today … for everything.“ “For being you,” Justin told him, thinking that even though he maybe used to harbor thoughts of marrying Brian, not that it would change anything of course, that just to be here, with him, something that Justin thought he’d lost forever, was more than he could ever have hoped for. “But do I need a reason?” Justin asked him and Brian smiled and shook his head. “No,” Brian told him. “Feel free … any time.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Having greeted his mother, Justin politely refused offers of help, intending of course for his mom to enjoy the day, like the rest of their guests. But with Jennifer so obviously wanting to do something and immaculately turned out as usual, Justin eventually gave in and she was duly employed to help her son show current and prospective clients around his newly refurbished workspace, while Brian stayed outside in the garden and marquee, networking with everyone as they arrived or came down for refreshments. As well as samples of work he’d created for his own clients, over the last couple of days, Brian and Justin had brought over all the boards for the advertising campaigns that Justin had produced during his time at Kinnetik, which were now hanging around the walls of his new studio. They included the boards for Katherine’s Casuals, whose campaign had been particularly successful, and the Van Linden’s were high on the guest list. At Brian’s request, Justin had, however, removed THAT drawing of the older man that hanged there, even though a fair number of people had seen it when it had been originally displayed at the GLC all those years ago at Justin’s first and so far, only art exhibition. Gus had seen it of course, though hadn’t thought it particularly worthy of a mention, as had Rosa, who always cleaned the loft studio very carefully. Rosa too, hadn’t mentioned the nature of that particular drawing, though the first time she came down from being shown the studio by Justin, Brian thought he noticed the woman give him a rather embarrassed smile. Rosa appreciated a good male form as much as any other hot bloodied woman, though it was initially a little difficult to look Brian in the face for the next few days. Greeting their guests, even now, both Brian and Justin half expected Lindsay and Melanie to turn up. Mel would probably have bitched and moaned about something, at least to and about Brian, though she would have supported Justin without question. But it had been Lindsay, who especially had encouraged Justin in his art, herself having been an artist and an art teacher. Justin missed her, in fact he missed them both. But he hadn’t known Lindsay anywhere near as long as Brian and for the older man there was still a part of him that didn’t feel quite complete without the woman who had been such a close friend for so many years and was the mother of his son, and who so often and obviously took his side in numerous disputes, much to Melanie’s disgust. But there was no point in dwelling on any of the unpleasant memories, but instead to remember the good, for Gus’ sake if nothing else. But the remainder of the Liberty Avenue Gang would be attending to support Justin‘s venture. Michael, whose feud with Justin appeared to have come to an amicable conclusion, would be attending with Ben. As caterer, Emmett was there of course, but also as a friend to Brian and Justin, he’d invited a certain hunky and very gorgeous ex-pro-football player, Drew Boyd. He’d known Drew briefly before and they’d recently started dating again. And for Emmett, who’d previously measured his relationships in minutes, if not inches, to everyone’s amazement, this one appeared to have staying power. Ted Schmidt, like Brian, was now in a relationship with someone he’d met more than ten years before. In fact, he’d met Blake Wyzecki the same night that Brian had met Justin. But unlike Brian, Ted’s conquest had put him in the hospital and almost cost him his life. The sequence of events leading up to and following that particular incident was never mentioned. Crystal Meth addiction had nearly destroyed both of them, but Blake’s subsequent success as a drug counselor meant that at least something positive had come from that very difficult time. Debbie Novotny and Marty Kramer, the owners of the Liberty Diner, were still engaged, but so far hadn’t made it up the aisle. Debbie felt strongly that as her son, Michael, couldn’t enter into a marriage with Ben that would be recognized in his own country, that she and Marty shouldn’t either. But they did live together, with Debbie even quite proud to think she was ‘living in sin’ with a man: “At my age!” she’d once proclaimed. On her arrival, Gus had made a bee-line straight for Grandma Debbie, who made a fuss over him and then had him with her and Marty throughout the proceedings. Brian didn’t have to ask Debbie to carry out that task, even though he had of course and Debbie was only too pleased to oblige, allowing both Brian and Justin to relax in the knowledge that the youngster was being well looked after. Brian had invited many of his own clients to the launch. Kinnetik’s art department was much reduced as he’d planned to use Justin’s services and though they didn’t usually talk business in the bedroom, Justin starting up his own had recently held much of their attention. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A few nights before, Justin had retired a little early and was working on a drawing while in bed, trying to unwind, when Brian had come up. Inevitably, the conversation turned to the launch and how much business Justin hoped would come from it and Brian quipped to the younger man how he hoped that Kinnetik would get a special deal. Justin had carefully placed his sketchbook and pencil on the bed and then thrown back the duvet, revealing his naked body, his skin seemingly alabaster against the dark blue sheets. “Oh … I’m sure we can agree on terms,” he’d grinned at him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With the event now well underway and taking a five minute breather from meeting and greeting, Justin stepped outside the house and onto the lawn. Just a few feet away and with his back to him, stood Brian, with several of his own clients, whom Justin had previously shown around his studio. They were some of Brian’s larger accounts; ones who would need full blown campaigns, not just individual or maybe one off pieces of work. Justin smiled to himself as he listened to Brian promoting Taylor Made Designs. Brian didn’t know he was within earshot, though that probably wouldn’t have mattered and Justin heard glowing accounts of the work he’d done for the man whose life he now shared. Then, beckoning one of the waiters for refreshments for the group of business men he’d been talking to, Brian had turned and stepped away from them, only to be confronted with a grinning Justin, who had slipped his arms around the taller man’s waist. “Thank you,” Justin told him. “Just telling them how it is … besides … it makes good business sense,” shrugged Brian. “After all … for them to make use of your business … they’d have to go through mine.” “Shameless self promotion after all,” chuckled Justin. “That sounds like the man I know and love.” “Have you ever known me to pass up an opportunity?” asked Brian and Justin continued to grin as he shook his head and had then reached up on tiptoes to kiss him. But he’d heard exactly what Brian had said to those clients and not once had he mentioned his own business. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As Emmett promised, the lunch was divine, consisting of the best and freshest ingredients, including salmon, strawberries which had been especially flown in, and expensive Champagne. And, with safety in mind, a fleet of cars would later arrive to take people home or back to their offices. After they‘d eaten, taking a deep breath, Justin got to his feet to thank everyone for attending, and for all the assistance he’d been given, both for today’s event and for getting his business off the ground. And it came as no surprise to anyone, that Justin’s biggest thank you was saved for Brian. Then, there was a short presentation which Justin had put together and shown on a large screen that had been rigged up in the marquee. Every one of Brian’s clients had given permission for their campaigns to be mentioned and used. In addition, Justin had included samples from his own clients, together with additional graphics, advertising the sort of work he could deliver. The audience was extremely impressed at the professionalism of the presentation and with Justin’s work, together with the obvious expense and attention to detail that had been taken to put the day together. There was no doubt that today’s proceedings would certainly bring more work Justin’s way and, more than likely, Brian’s too. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After lunch, the audience eventually broke up and with everyone dispersing into small groups and mostly talking shop out on the lawn or still helping themselves to refreshments, Brian noticed Daphne standing alone by the marquee. She was obviously watching someone and following her gaze, Brian could see that it was Justin who was the object of her attention. Finally relaxed, he was out in the middle of the lawn, laughing and working the group he was with like he’d been doing it for years. “Are you okay, Daphne?” Brian asked her, seeing how she was frowning and biting her lip as if contemplating something. Daphne jumped, she’d been seriously deep in thought and hadn’t heard him approach her. “I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to startle you,” apologized Brian, but Daphne merely smiled weakly at him and said nothing. Brian looked around. “Where’s John?” he asked her, referring to Daphne’s fiancé. “He’s getting me a cold drink … I was feeling a little warm inside the marquee,” she answered him and then she returned her attention back to Justin. “He’s in his element … isn’t he?” Brian nodded. “Yes … he is.” “He’s achieved so much … considering,” stated Daphne, her voice dropping as they remembered that difficult time. Not that any of them would ever forget it of course. “I think he’s going to do very well,” stated Brian in response and Daphne couldn’t miss the tone of pride in his voice. “He deserves it,” she answered him quietly, but without smiling. Brian studied her. Daphne and Justin had been best friends since St. James’ Academy and he would have expected her to seem a little more excited for her friend than her manner implied. And then it looked as if she were about to say more, but John appeared and handed her a long, cold drink. “There you go, honey … that should do the trick,” and he smiled at Brian. “Quite an event, Brian,” he complimented and Brian smiled in return. John was pleasant enough, and didn’t really seem to be too bothered about being in the company of gays. And he appeared to love Daphne. “Glad you’ve enjoyed it,” answered Brian and he took his leave and went to look for Gus. He hadn’t seen him since lunch and wanted to make sure he was okay. Walking away, he couldn’t help still feel a little confused with Daphne. But maybe it was the start of pre-wedding jitters as having set the date some time ago, Daphne and John’s nuptials were now in a few months time with plans well under way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The expansion of Justin’s studio wasn’t the only work that had been carried out on the property recently. Brian had rather liked the idea of installing a pool and small pool house and the work was currently underway, though around the other side of the house and out of view of everyone attending today’s proceedings. But even losing that part of the garden, there was still plenty of room for Gus to run around all day. Away from the marquee and the rest of the guests, Gus had retrieved a soccer ball from his room and was kicking it around with Michael and Ben by the Eastern Redbud they‘d planted, which was protected for now with a wire grille, while Debbie and Marty looked on from a bench sited nearby. “Dad!” called out Gus, seeing his father approach and he took a kick at the ball, aiming it towards him. To everyone’s surprise, considering the exclusive footwear he was wearing, Brian kicked it, eliciting a huge grin from the youngster who received the ball back from him and then having reached him, Brian ruffled the boy’s hair. Debbie shook her head. That man never failed to surprise her. A few years ago, the thought of marking a pair of very expensive shoes by kicking a ball about would have been totally out of the question. But then it’s amazing what seems important once you have a child to care for. Having made sure Gus was okay and that everyone had everything they wanted, Brian went to look for Justin and together, they continued to talk to the remaining guests. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ By late afternoon, people were drifting away and Emmett’s team had commenced clearing up. Gus’ friend from school and fellow team mate arrived and Tyler’s mom offered to have Gus for the night. Brian actually welcomed that idea, it would give him and Justin a little time on their own following all the hard work that had been put into making today such a success. Debbie offered to help Gus pack an overnight bag and a little while later, the youngster was taken back to Tyler’s, where the boys would do their homework and have dinner together and then go into school the following morning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The last of their guests finally left and everyone, without exception, commented on how they’d been so impressed by Justin’s work and how much they’d enjoyed the day. And, from those people who hadn’t been there before, came compliments regarding the house: Brian and Justin obviously had great taste. Drew had offered to stay behind and help Emmett and the last of his team clear away. They and Rosa, were now the only ones left and had returned to the kitchen when Brian and Justin went back to the marquee to retrieve a bottle of Champagne that had their name on it. Justin heaved a huge sigh of relief, with the tensions and excitement of the day ebbing away as Brian poured out their drinks, but that wasn’t the end of events. “I have something for you,” stated Brian, but before he could do anything further, Justin moved in and ran his fingers along the lapel of Brian’s suit. “I bet you say that to all the boys,” he chuckled and Brian thought he heard a slight slurring in the younger man’s words and he grinned. The day’s proceedings were obviously making Justin a little heady, but that could also have a lot to do with the several glasses of Champagne he’d nervously consumed already. “That comes later,” promised Brian. “But for now …” and from his inside pocket, Brian produced an envelope and handed it to him. “What’s this?” “Call it … call it an early birthday present,” Brian told him. Justin groaned a little. His thirtieth was still a little way away, though he really didn’t like to be reminded. But unlike Brian, there wasn’t likely to be any real queenie moments when it arrived. “Brian … whatever it is … you’ve done enough … more than enough already … with all this,” Justin told him and indicating their surroundings. “Open it,” instructed Brian, eagerly and Justin frowned before putting down his glass. Slowly, Justin opened the envelope and pulled out several sheets of paper; his eyes and mouth opening ever wider as he took in what they were telling him. Brian had bought air time with the local TV station, with the intention of using Justin’s own promotional presentation and the slots would run over the course of the next two months. In addition, Brian had Justin’s replacement at Kinnetik, extract several shots to be used as stills for magazine and trade ads and Brian, himself, had written the copy. “This is too much … way too much,” declared Justin, his voice husky and feeling the tears start to well up. As usual, Justin was overwhelmed but not necessarily surprised, by Brian’s generosity. Apart from his love, there was only one other thing that Justin could offer in return. “I will make you so proud of me,” Justin promised him and reaching out, Brian pushed the younger man’s hair back from his eyes. “You already did,” came the whispered reply. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ By 7:00, everything had just about been cleared away and Emmett’s team, along with Drew, had left. They’d refrigerated the leftover food in case Brian and Justin wanted something later but were too tired to do anything for themselves. Earlier, Brian and Justin had given each of their friends a bottle of surplus Champagne as they’d departed and while the majority of the table decorations had been sent to a nearby retirement home, as it seemed such a shame to waste them, Brian had handed Debbie one of the biggest and still very beautiful floral displays as she was leaving, with which she was thrilled. “When did you last see your mother?” asked Debbie, after she’d kissed and thanked him and Brian frowned, but didn’t answer her. “What about Gus?” “Do you think it’s fair that he hasn’t gotten to know his real Grandma?” she continued. “You’re his real Grandma,” countered Brian. “Besides … she doesn’t even know he exists.” “She what?” came the dumbfounded reply and Brian shrugged. “Well, I haven’t told her … and I don’t think Jack ever did.” “And if you haven’t?” Debbie shook her head. “I haven’t seen her in years,” she admitted. “But don’t you think that if she knew about Gus … it would help heal the rift between you?” asked Debbie. “There’s not many women who could ignore their own grandkids,” she pointed out and then she’d rubbed Brian’s arm. “Think about it?” she asked him. “None of us are getting any younger,” she told him and Brian had shrugged. A short while later, Justin had also given Jennifer one of the floral displays as she was leaving and watching mother and son kiss and hug, Debbie’s words came back to Brian and he stopped short as he realized that he actually had a pang of regret that he’d not been able to invite his own mother to share the day with them, especially when it was something of such significance. Maybe Debbie had a point. Maybe introducing Joan to her grandson was something to consider. After all, she was right. Time was running out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian watched Justin take off his tie and stuff it in his pocket and he grinned at him. “Why don’t you go and get changed while I check that there’s nothing else left to do outside?“ he offered and Justin heaved a sigh of relief. Even with the compliments it had brought him, Brian knew Justin hated wearing a suit and tie and that he probably couldn‘t wait to get out of it. It really wasn‘t Justin at all and the younger man wondered how Brian managed it for work every day. But then Brian did look good in a suit. Any suit. So, leaving Brian, Justin went up to shower and change into tee and jeans. And then he went downstairs to make some coffee and grabbed a mouthful. He’d sobered right up in the shower: he really did have the odd glass or three too many of Champagne today. But the whole event had gone so wonderfully well, Justin couldn’t help but feel like celebrating. But now they were alone, he wanted to celebrate with Brian and so he went looking for him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Unable to find Brian in the house, Justin went out to the garden, assuming he must still be outside. The marquee would be taken down and removed tomorrow by the contractors and he begun to make for it, to see if Brian was there, but then he saw him. With the sun beginning to set, Brian was sitting on the bench by the Redbud; the tree was thriving in the rich soil and would be a magnificent memorial to Lindsay and Melanie in a few years. The man had yet to change out of his suit, but he had loosened his tie and undone the top button of his shirt. He was sitting quietly and as Justin approached him, it was obvious he was deep in thought. Justin hesitated, Brian looked if he’d needed a moment to himself and instead of disturbing him, made to turn back towards the house instead. “Justin,” called Brian, having caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and the younger man stopped and turned back. “I didn’t mean to disturb you,” came the apology, but Brian shook his head. “I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather have disturb me,” he assured him and smiling, Justin went over to the bench and sat down beside him and he slipped his hand into Brian‘s. “You miss her … you miss Lindsay, don’t you?” asked Justin, quietly after a pause, and Brian frowned. “Yeah … I do,” he admitted. “She would have enjoyed today,” continued Brian, looking at him and managing a smile. He squeezed Justin‘s hand. “She would have been very proud of what you’re doing … as I am,” he continued and then he hesitated and sighed. “Debbie thinks I should tell my mother about Gus,” stated Brian, who had obviously been mulling it over while sitting there. Justin frowned. “It never occurred to me she didn’t know about him … I just thought she was ignoring the both of you.” “Well … we haven’t exactly been living in each other’s pockets these last ten or so years,” stated Brian. “What do you think?” Justin squeezed Brian’s hand in return, pleased that the older man sought his opinion. “Well … she is your mom and Gus‘ grandma,” stated Justin and then he sighed. “I know dad doesn’t want anything to do with me … but I have tried.” “And the fact that he still doesn’t want to know me?” “Well … at least I know I did what I could.” “And you never know … finding out she has a grandson by you … might just bring her round.” Brian nodded, took a deep breath and fell silent and Justin decided the man did need a moment to himself after all. “I’ll go and tidy up the studio … I have a feeling I’m not going to get much time to myself for a while.“ “The phone will be ringing off the hook,“ Brian told him seriously, and leaning across, Justin reached out and put his fingers beneath Brian’s chin, turning the man to face him. He kissed him and when the kiss had run its course, Justin got to his feet and ran his hand up the back of Brian’s neck and into his hair before turning and leaving him to the peace and quiet of the garden. After watching the younger man walk away, Brian sat for several minutes, and found he actually enjoyed the seclusion the garden offered from the outside world, if only briefly. It had been a very tiring few weeks, and then the closer today got, trying to cope with his own heavy workload as well as helping to organize Justin’s launch, he was beginning to feel exhausted. He probably needed a break; it would be great if they could get away. But now was lousy timing, with Justin‘s business just about to take off. Looking down at his shoes, Brian scowled at the scuff mark he hadn‘t noticed earlier and then he chuckled. After all, what was a scuff mark compared to the smile it put on his son’s face when he’d kicked the ball back to him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With Justin tidying up his studio and packing up the boards to be returned to Kinnetik, Brian headed for the shower and stood for a few minutes under the hot water before lathering up and trying to let the hectic day go. He’d dried off and had finished dressing in jeans and tee in the bedroom and was sitting on the end of the bed when he noticed Justin’s ever present sketchbook lying on the nightstand and couldn’t help taking a peek. Slowly, Brian became aware of another presence and felt the hand brush over his shoulders and then Justin sat down beside him and placed a hand on his knee. “I never got to thank you properly for today,” Justin told him, which is what he’d intended to do earlier before deciding to give Brian a little space. “It was amazing … everything went perfectly.” “Of course,“ answered Brian, in mock surprise. “But don’t thank me … it’s all down to you,” stated the older man. “It’s you they came to see.” “And if all the interest pans out … I think you’re gonna end up with more work than you can handle and …” “Oh, I think I can just about handle … most things,” replied Justin, before Brian had a chance to continue what he was going to say, and that was Justin would probably need to hire additional staff. But instead, it was hard to concentrate on anything else as Justin slid his hand up Brian’s inner thigh. But Brian sighed. “I hate to say it … but I was up at 6:00 …” “Then you should have told me … we could have done something about it,” teased Justin, his hand sliding even higher and despite his tiredness, Brian chuckled and felt himself begin to harden. “I’m sure we can find a solution,” stated the younger man. “Oh, I’m positive we can,” grinned Brian back at him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Are you sure these are absolutely necessary?” asked Brian and Justin nodded. “Oh I’m sure,” came the reply and carefully, he fastened the silk tie around Brian’s wrist. “Do you know how much they cost?” Brian asked him and Justin chuckled. “Funny how that never seems to occur to you, when you’re doing this to me,” observed the younger man, which resulted in Brian muttering something unintelligible under his breath. Justin had pulled off his own tee and then Brian’s, barely five minutes after the older man had put it on and had then moved to the closet. Confused, Brian had frowned. “What are you doing in there?” he asked him and then the frown turned to realization as Justin produced two very expensive silk ties. “Ah … we haven’t done this for a while,” Brian grinned at him, but usually the shoe was on the other foot, or in this case, the ties and before he realized, the younger man had the first wrapped around Brian’s wrist. Brian smiled. He knew what was to follow of course, or at least he thought he did. This wasn’t how it usually happened, but Brian decided this was Justin’s day and if this was what the younger man wanted, then he was totally okay with it. Besides, it meant Brian had the minimum to do and obtain the absolute maximum of pleasure. Brian had scooted up the bed and propped himself up a little against the pillows. Justin kissed him and then holding the other end of the tie, brought Brian’s right wrist up and outwards, fastening the end off around the bed head. Then Justin straightened up and caught Brian’s other wrist, repeating his actions, resulting in Brian being tied to the bed. Brian could still smell the lightly perfumed shower gel Justin had used earlier as the younger man’s chest almost brushed his as he’d stretched out above him. But feeling the heat from Justin’s body against his face, at that moment, the cost of the impromptu restraints was of no interest. Brian couldn’t have cared less. Brian raised his head, intent on kissing or licking whatever part of Justin he could reach, but the younger man moved just a little too fast for him. And then, straightening up, Justin grinned at him and made to kiss him, their mouths almost touching before Justin pulled away. Brian groaned and pulled on the ties. Though his arms were secured, it wasn’t uncomfortable and there was no strain on his limbs; he just couldn’t bring them very far forward and he certainly couldn’t touch Justin, or himself, where he wanted to the most. This was one time when Brian had no control, whatsoever, over what was happening to him. But he trusted Justin entirely of course. The implications of Brian’s compliance was not lost on Justin; Brian placing himself completely in the younger man’s hands. But then again, any bedroom games such as this, involved an enormous amount of trust between both parties and for Justin to take the initiative like this, illustrated just how secure and equal their relationship was. Brian had watched Justin‘s face as he‘d carefully secured the ties to his wrists and then, in turn, to the bed. It had been done with the utmost care for Brian‘s comfort and security, the older man could see that. But how they touched and when, was now entirely down to the younger man. In fact, the knots weren’t tied particularly tightly at all and if he wanted to, it probably wouldn’t take too much wriggling to get out of them. But at this juncture, Brian didn’t want to. Kneeling on the bed, Justin made sure he didn’t touch Brian and that Brian couldn‘t touch him unless he wanted him to. He took pleasure in just surveying him; drinking in the older man’s still beautiful body for what seemed like hours before he leaned down to lick his chest, encircling first Brian’s right nipple before trailing saliva across to the left. Brian groaned, his cock straining against his jeans as Justin now trailed down his stomach and, while he did so, Justin’s fingers lightly ran along the length of Brian’s jeans’ zipper and then he cupped the man’s bulge gently in his hand for just a few seconds. Justin had to time this just right. He didn’t want to move things on too quickly for it to be over all too soon, but very, very slowly, he undid the zipper. Normally, Justin would have reached inside the folds of material for Brian’s hardness, but this time, even though he needed to touch him so much, he held off. Moving to the end of the bed, Justin took hold of the hem of Brian’s jeans and began to pull them off him. Gripping the ties with his hands, Brian lifted his hips off the bed to assist and once removed, the jeans were discarded to the floor. Then came the briefs, but without even touching Brian’s flesh, Justin miraculously managed to take hold of the waistband and pull them down and off. By this time, even without any physical effort on his part, Brian was perspiring and now fully erect, his cock ached so much he thought he would lose it already. But Justin was far from over and Brian watched, as standing just a few feet away from the bed, Justin toed off his sneakers and then pulled off his socks. The younger man then reached down and cupped himself before slowly undoing the zipper on his own jeans. Brian’s entire body seemed to ache and pulsate with every beat of his heart. His mouth was dry and he couldn’t shift his gaze as he watched Justin reach inside and stroke himself before grinning and removing his own jeans and briefs. Justin knew exactly what he was doing as he heard Brian groan and saw him ball his fists. Being unable to reach out and touch him or touch himself, was driving Brian crazy and then he watched as Justin, now completely naked, knelt back on the bed and continued where he’d left off, licking Brian from breast bone to navel, where he dipped in his tongue before moving on down the fine line of hair: Brian’s treasure trail, and to the bounty that lay beyond. Brian momentarily closed his eyes and moaned in anticipation, but Justin diverted and just as Brian thought the younger man was going to take him in his mouth and give him relief, instead he felt the cool wetness, as Justin licked down the man’s thigh and continued to his ankle. Brian groaned and involuntarily arched his back. He’d gritted his teeth, as the silky blond hair brushed his cock, hoping to god Justin knew what he was doing as Brian felt the soft, hot and wet tongue trail up his other leg. With his breathing shallow and ragged, Brian wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out from this sweet torture and by now, neither did Justin. His own erection begging for attention, Justin wanted Brian so badly and now that they no longer used condoms, he loved the feel of the man coming inside him and couldn‘t wait any longer. Leaning over him, still not allowing Brian to touch either of their bodies, Justin reached inside the nightstand drawer for the lube and flipped the top. He wanted to refrain from touching Brian’s cock for as long as possible and instead, reached behind and smeared a generous amount of lube around his own hole, the action almost threatening to send Justin over the edge as he did so. Now quickly climbing over him, Justin positioned himself above Brian’s cock and lowered himself. Usually, he would have teased the older man a little by raising himself up again, and then taking Brian in little by little. But not this time. By now, Justin’s need for Brian matched the older man’s need for him and if anything, a little too roughly, Justin quickly lowered himself and moaned loudly as he impaled himself and felt Brian’s engorged cock forced inside him. By now, both men’s hearts were pounding and the blood rushing in their ears so hard, they wouldn’t have heard the sky fall in around them as finally, their bodies joined together. Still unable to reach out and touch him, Brian had watched the younger man‘s face, seeing first a slight glimpse of sweet pain, followed by the ecstatic pleasure and Brian groaned as the younger man clenched around him and began to thrust forward. As Justin’s pelvic thrusts grew in strength and speed, the younger man stroked himself. Brian balled his fists again, wanting so badly to be able to do that for him and had to be content instead with thrusting his hips upwards to match Justin and watch the younger man’s fast approaching orgasm; his own not far behind. Thrusting ever faster and harder, Justin reached forward and laid a hand on Brian’s stomach, feeling the man rise and fall. Needing to feel Brian not only inside him, but envelope him, with both hands, Justin reached out for Brian’s wrists, now wanting to release him. He struggled a little in his anxiousness, but within a few seconds, he’d set Brian’s right wrist free and then the left. With his hands now unfettered, Brian reached for Justin’s cock and the younger man gasped as he felt Brian’s fingers encircle him, spurring him on. With both men heading for the sweet oblivion that was about to overtake them, finding unbelievable strength, Brian instinctively pushed himself up off the pillows. Putting his arms around Brian and holding him against his chest, Justin never wanted to let him go. Pulling Brian in even closer, their bodies seemingly melting into each other with the heat they emanated, Justin held Brian tightly as they both came, almost simultaneously. Now holding each other tightly, Brian had felt Justin clench, heightening his own orgasm and he tried to breathe evenly. Taking in the heady mix of perspiration and sex, Brian inhaled deeply, absorbing Justin into his very pores as Justin too, felt their intense connection. Justin moaned with pleasure as he felt Brian’s hot seed shoot inside him and he’d clenched again, wishing he could hold the man there forever. Everything seemed to stop; the whole world seemingly coming to a standstill for that one moment. Coming down from the incredible high and still clinging to each other, their bodies glistened with sweat. Justin’s semen smeared both of them and Brian eventually found the breath and strength to speak, though his words were gasped into Justin’s chest and the younger man strained to hear them. “In … all … the times … we’ve … done this …” and he managed a dry swallow. “That … has … to be … the … hottest.” Smiling and still straddling him, Justin pulled back a little and looked down. He reached for Brian’s chin and tilted the older man’s face up towards him. He took a breath and kissed him deeply. “I love you,” whispered Justin, though his words weren’t necessary and these days, Brian was able to verbalize his own feelings so much more. “I love you too,” the older man told him, and then he rubbed Justin’s chest, leaving there quite a deposit of the younger man’s own cum. “I’m stuck on you,” Justin grinned at him and Brian groaned at Justin‘s feeble attempt of a joke. With both men exhausted and totally sated, Justin rolled off Brian and onto the bed. He kissed Brian’s shoulder before cuddling up beside him, still leaving one leg hooked over his. “I think we better go shower …or we’ll be peeling ourselves off the sheets in the morning,” whispered Brian, which was met with a soft: “Uh ..uh.” From Justin’s response, it was obvious that he was far too close to sleeping to even think about getting out of bed and into the shower, emphasized by the way he moved in even closer. Carefully, so as not to disturb Justin, Brian reached out and managed to pull the duvet up and over them both. Brian couldn‘t help smiling as he then reached out to put his arm around the younger man‘s shoulders. It didn‘t seem that long ago that falling asleep immediately after sex without cleaning up was unthinkable, and especially to be content and happy to have the other man snuggling up so close on bedding soaked with cum. But that was when it had been just sex and it was long passed that with Justin. Those times, thankfully, now seemed a life time ago and what was so bad, after all, about falling asleep with the man you loved beside you, still all wet and sticky? They would have to change the bed, again, in the morning, mused Brian as he drifted off to sleep, content and fulfilled. And if Rosa ever wondered why it was that Brian and Justin did so much of their own laundry, or at least the bed linen, she‘d certainly never mentioned it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian was right, the next few days, even weeks, brought a lot of enquiries Justin’s way about work. Several of Kinnetik’s own clients got in touch with Brian, Justin’s launch having made them consider that maybe it was about time to think about a new advertising campaign for themselves. Justin would certainly be kept busy for the foreseeable future and Brian had put one of his own assistants in charge of initial talks with current Kinnetik clients about future campaigns. But Brian, himself, had other things on his mind and it wasn’t just the conversation he’d had with Debbie. Suddenly, Gus didn’t seem quite so chatty and his grades started to dip a little and then one day, he came home with one of his school books torn. “It’s nothing, dad,” Gus had told Brian when his father had asked him if there was anything wrong. “I just dropped it … and one of the other kids kicked it … no big deal,” the youngster insisted, but Brian wasn’t quite so sure. Then Gus seemed to be getting the odd headache and not always finishing his meal at dinner times. “You don’t think he’s being bullied about something?” asked Justin at the dinner table after Gus had asked to go to his room. Gus sometimes ate in the kitchen under Rosa’s eye if Brian wasn’t home early enough, though Justin would try to be there as it was easier for him, working from home, even if it meant returning to his work afterwards. This evening, they’d all sat down together, but Gus just didn’t seem interested in his food and not wanting to make an issue of it, Brian allowed him to be excused. He could well remember being forced to sit at the table during his own childhood when he was desperate to get away. Though that was usually because his parents were arguing, or the food was simply inedible. But Gus was clearly unhappy and Brian would rather he was in his own space, somewhere he felt comfortable. Half an hour after dinner had finished, Brian went up to check on Gus and that he was doing his homework. Sitting on the bed beside him, Gus had asked him a question about a project he was working on and Brian was only too happy to help out. Then, leaving him to finish off and get ready for bed, Brian had ruffled his son’s hair. “Gus … if there was anything wrong, you would tell me … wouldn’t you?” he asked him and Gus had smiled and nodded. “Sure dad,” came the answer and Brian had smiled at him before closing the door behind him. It was probably something of nothing, decided Brian, but he also decided that Gus would need a closer eye keeping on him at the moment and hopefully, he’d work out what was going on, if anything. And if necessary, pay a visit to the school, even though Gus would be appalled at the suggestion. Watching his dad leave, Gus sighed before taking himself off to the bathroom to wash and brush his teeth before climbing into his PJ’s. He hated lying to his dad and he didn’t want to upset him and Justin. He’d have to handle it by himself, though it was getting harder all the time. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ But it wasn’t just the fact that Gus seemed unhappy at the moment, Justin was pretty sure something else was troubling Brian and then Brian caught the younger man studying him while he’d been miles away, deep in thought, thinking about his childhood and he‘d smiled weakly. “Penny for them?” offered Justin and Brian shook his head. “They’re not worth that much,” the older man told him and reaching out, Justin stroked Brian’s upper arm. “Whatever … we said we’d discuss everything didn’t we … that there shouldn’t be anything we couldn’t talk about?” Justin didn’t need to remind him of the Ethan debacle, where secrets had led to lies and then hurt for them both. Brian nodded. “No … you’re right … I guess sometimes it still doesn’t come easy,” he confessed. “I was thinking about what Debbie said … and letting Gus meet his grandma.” “I guess there’s nothing to lose in trying,” suggested Justin and Brian frowned. “Guess not.” “At least you know you did your best … and wouldn’t be left wondering,” Justin continued and Brian nodded. “You’re right … I’ll call her … that’s if she wants anything to do with me … or Gus.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian wasn’t totally sure what to do first, after what Debbie had said and now that he’d decided that he’d take a chance and let his mom know about Gus. Should he tell Gus he had a Grandma other than Debbie, or just pitch up with him? Neither Melanie or Lindsay’s parents had really accepted their daughters’ relationship and neither set of parents played any part in Gus’ life at all and it did seem a shame that the boy missed out on that special grandchild/grandparent connection. Deciding to take the risk that Joan’s loathing of her son’s lifestyle, wouldn’t prejudice any feelings she might have for her grandson, Brian rang his mother to arrange to meet her. To say she was surprised was an understatement, but Brian was her only son after all, and if he’d come to his senses and was ready to accept her and their religion back into his life, who was she to condemn him out of hand? But the choice of location for their meeting was rather confusing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Brian, why have you asked me to meet you here? Of all places?” Joan Kinney asked him, after she’d offered up her cheek for a kiss. He’d been watching out for her and she parked her car next to his. “There’s someone I want you to meet,” came the mysterious reply. Brian had arranged to meet her in the parking lot and taking her arm, escorted her through the barrier and up into the seats where a good number of families were already cheering on their sons, grandsons, brothers or nephews. Gus’ soccer team were doing really well and with only a couple of games left, expected to finish at the top of their league. The game had only been in progress for ten minutes, but as it happened, they’d taken their places not a moment too soon and Brian grinned broadly and proudly as no. 7, Peterson, struck the ball sweetly into the back of the net. Brian leapt to his feet, applauding wildly, as only a doting father could. After the usual celebrations, Gus looked around; he’d been picked up earlier by a team mate for the usual pre-match talks and preparations and he hadn’t seen his dad since breakfast, though Brian had promised faithfully he’d be there. Brian and Justin liked to go to Gus’ games together, but they always made sure that at least one of them attended. But on this occasion, Justin decided it was best to give them some space, telling Gus he had some work he had to do, which in actual fact, was the truth. Seeing Brian return the wave from one of the youngsters out on the playing field, Joan frowned and tugged at his sleeve. Brian looked down at her and before she could speak: “That is your grandson,” came the totally unexpected explanation as Brian took his seat back down beside her and the look on his mother’s face was priceless. “A son?” “You have a son?” she asked him and Brian nodded. “Gus … he’s eleven … nearly twelve,” he answered her. “But how? I mean … who’s the mother? Does this mean that you haven’t always been … you know?” she asked him quietly, so that no one else around them would hear, even though Brian made sure they‘d sat nowhere near anyone else. If there was to be an argument, he didn‘t want the families of Gus‘ friends to overhear it. Brian shook his head. “No mom … I’ve always been gay,” he answered her, with no attempt at lowering his voice, much to his mother’s embarrassment. “Though in college …” Brian stopped. There wasn’t any real point in confusing his mother any further. “Do you remember Lindsay Peterson … from college?” “Tall … rather skinny blonde, as I recall,” Joan answered him and Brian smiled. How Lindsay would have loved being called skinny and he nodded. “That’s her,” and Brian rolled his lips into his mouth as he wondered how his mother would take the next part. “When Lindz and her partner, Melanie … wanted a child … they asked me to be the father.” “You mean … Gus’ mother is .. is …” “A lesbian, mom.” “They’re called lesbians …” “I know what they’re called, Brian,” his mother told him in no uncertain terms. “Did you sleep with her? I did used to wonder if you two might get together,” Joan asked him, rather unexpectedly, but Brian shook his head. “I was …” and he hesitated. “A donor.” For sure he couldn’t turn around and tell her he’d jerked off in a cup in the back room at Babylon after a drunken night out, though he would have loved to see her face if he had. “Are they here?” asked Joan, looking around and Brian shook his head. “They were killed in a car crash … getting on for two years ago now.” “Then who’s looking after Gus?” “I am.” “After all … I am his father.” Brian’s mother frowned and her disapproving look couldn’t be mistaken. “What do you know about being a father … and looking after a child?” demanded Joan coldly and Brian straightened in his seat. “I know what not to do,” he told her and matching her tone. “I never tell him he should have been aborted … or come home drunk and use him as a punch bag,” stated Brian, looking right at her, but Joan looked away, unable to meet his gaze. Of course Joan had known all along how Jack took out his rage and frustration on his son and Brian had only supposed that she was too afraid of Jack to stand up to him, even to protect her offspring and he was beginning to wonder if this proposed meeting between her and her grandson had been a good idea after all. “I love him,” stated Brian and even Joan couldn’t have missed the obvious pride and affection in Brian’s voice when he spoke of his son. “It takes more than love to raise a child … especially on your own,” Joan informed him and Brian thought, for the first time, that he actually detected a note of empathy in her voice. “I’m not on my own,” answered Brian, much to Joan’s surprise. “I don’t suppose you remember Justin?” asked Brian and he saw his mother frown, but whether this time in confusion or disgust he wasn’t quite sure. “You walked in on us once … but I guess that was ten years ago,” he confessed. “You mean that very young man you were with?” Joan asked her and definitely in disgust. “Yes … that young man,” Brian answered proudly. “Well … he’s my partner … my husband … and we’re raising Gus together.” “Well I suppose it’s quite an achievement that you managed to stay with the same man all this time,” stated Joan, sarcastically, never for one minute envisaging Brian as the monogamous kind, especially now she was aware of his homosexuality. “Actually … we haven’t been together all that time,” admitted Brian. “But it’s been a while now and … and we’re gonna make it.” Brian could see his mom about to say something along the lines of questioning the validity and longevity of gay relationships, but he did have a card up his sleeve. “And don’t go preaching to me about the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman,” warned Brian. “Not after yours and Dad’s … and when you’ve got a divorced daughter,” he continued, in reference to his own sister, Claire’s, failed marriage as well as his parent‘s sham of a union. Joan frowned as she considered her family history. Brian was right, she couldn’t use even his closest family as recommendations of marriage. “Does Gus at least have any decent female role models in his life?” she asked him, changing tack slightly and Brian nodded. “There’s Daphne, Justin’s oldest friend … and his mother, Jennifer, is at the house a lot … and there’s always Rosa, our housekeeper … and of course Debbie …” “Your housekeeper … and the Novotny woman?” asked Joan in horror and Brian nodded. “Rosa is a good woman … she’s kind and hard working … and cares a lot about Gus.“ “And that Novotny woman, as you call her … welcomed me into her home like I was one of her own,” Brian informed her. “Between us … Gus will be raised knowing he’s loved and what’s right from wrong … and that someone’s sexuality doesn’t dictate what sort of person they are,” and he sighed and slumped back into his seat. Brian decided to remain silent and allow his mother to digest all that she’d just learned and they both fell quiet for the rest of the first half of the game. But as the whistle blew for half-time, Brian turned to his mother. “I brought you here because I thought you might want to meet your grandson … was that a mistake?” Brian asked her directly and he saw Joan blink as she was obviously fighting some inner conflict. Brian was pleased he’d decided to arrange things this way. If Joan wanted nothing to do with Gus then she could leave and his son would be none the wiser. Taking Joan’s silence as the decision he was mostly expecting, Brian nodded and then stood up, wanting to go and say a few words of encouragement to Gus in the interval. “Fine … he doesn’t even have to know you’re here … that you’re rejecting your own grandson … like you did me,” Brian spat the words at her and made to pass her, but as he did so, he felt a tug on his sleeve. “Brian … wait … I … I …” “Well?” he asked, looking down at her. “You’re right … he is family … you both are.” “I would like to meet Gus.” Brian nodded, and couldn’t help admitting to himself that Joan’s statement and decision did come as a surprise. “After the game … I usually take Gus for a burger … you’re welcome to join us,” stated Brian and although the thought of eating at one of those awful fast food restaurants appalled her, Joan nodded in agreement. Going down to the touch line where both teams were taking in fluids and getting the usual team talk on the sidelines, Gus spotted his dad and eagerly trotted towards him. “Did you see me?” he asked him anxiously and Brian grinned and reaching out, squeezed the boy’s shoulder. “I saw you … you did great,” Brian told him and with his dad’s praise ringing in his ears, Gus grinned and trotted back to join his team mates. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In the end, Gus’ goal turned out to be the only one and with his team winning 1:0, Gus went into the showers with the rest of the team. Brian hadn’t wanted to tell him about Joan at half-time and have the boy worrying about it for the rest of the game, but when he came out from the showers and said goodbye to his friends, Brian took him to one side and sat him down. “You had a great game … the team’s doing well,” stated Brian proudly and Gus nodded. “We should finish at the top,” and then he frowned, wondering why it was they weren’t heading for the parking lot as usual after a game. “Gus … there’s someone here I want you to meet,” stated Brian and his son frowned. “Who?” he asked him looking around. “She’s waiting in her car,” Brian continued and he placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I know you think of Debbie as your grandma,” stated Brian. “But you know she isn’t my mom, don’t you?” “Sure,” answered Gus. “She’s Michael’s mom,” and Brian nodded in confirmation. “Well … you have another grandma … my mom … and she’s here and would like to meet you,” Brian told him and Gus raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?” “Yeah,” confirmed Brian. “She’s waiting in her car … I thought we’d all go eat together … how does that sound?” “Sure dad,” answered Gus and leaning down, Brian picked up the boy’s sports bag and together they walked back to Brian’s car, where he threw the bag in the trunk. Joan got out of her car and smiled at both of them. “Hello Gus,” greeted Joan and Gus smiled in return, albeit a little nervously. “Hi … nice to meet you,” he continued, remembering his manners and Brian couldn’t help smile to himself as he saw Joan’s eyebrow raise in surprise at his politeness. Steering Gus by the shoulders, Brian pointed him towards his own car door. “Let’s go eat,” he stated and then getting in behind the wheel, Brian started up the engine. They usually stopped off at the Liberty Diner on the way back from a game, but deciding that wouldn’t be a particularly good move, Brian had opted for somewhere else instead. He’d already given Joan directions of where they were going and 15 minutes later both cars pulled into the parking lot. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With Gus tucking into his burger, Brian surveyed his own meal. He always went for the chicken and at Debbie’s, it was at least edible, but on this occasion, he ended up only eating the salad. But that wasn’t important as this was a treat for Gus and he made sure the boy didn’t eat junk food at other times. Joan, unsurprisingly, forked over her meal choice, trying to hide the disgust on her face and reached instead for the water. At least Brian had bought bottled and not gotten them water from the tap. It had been a little tough to begin with, but eventually, Brian managed to get into some sort of conversation with his mother. In fairness, she seemed to be trying very hard and Brian thought it only right to try and meet her half way. And getting over his initial nervousness, Gus also started to chat away, nineteen to the dozen. He talked about school, playing soccer and surprisingly, even his moms and much to Brian’s amazement, his mother actually contributed a lot to the conversation and seemed interested in her grandson’s life. In actual fact, Joan didn’t really approve of the way Gus talked throughout his meal. In her day, it was rather that children should be seen and not heard, especially at meal times. But on this occasion, she thought it prudent not to indicate her disapproval. Not until she’d decided what Brian having a child of his own might mean and Joan was determined to discover as much as she could about her grandson and his relationship with his father. When the topic of conversation had turned to soccer, Gus talked about playing for his club and that he wanted to be as good as his dad some day. “Did you go to see dad play, grandma?” asked Gus, using her title and catching the woman somewhat off guard with it and his question. “No … I don’t think I ever did,” confessed Joan and she looked at Brian. “I know you got into college on a soccer scholarship … but were you really that good?” she asked him and Brian shrugged. “Yeah … I was … there was talk of me turning pro … but I guess I just didn’t quite make the grade.” Joan frowned. In her younger days, it wasn’t possible for someone to actually make a living playing sports, it wasn’t considered a ‘real’ job. But these days it was an acceptable profession, though it seemed that footballers and soccer players earned obscene amounts of money for doing very little. But surprisingly, Joan couldn’t help feeling guilty at how little attention she’d paid to Brian during those years and wondered, fleetingly, that if she had, could things have possibly turned out differently? Brian was quite happy to let Gus take over the talking, but by the end of the meal, he and Joan seemed much more relaxed with each other and he had to admit that it had gone a whole lot better then he would ever have thought possible. But when Brian let Gus go and get himself something for dessert, he and his mother were left alone at the table: “I can never approve of the way you live, Brian,” she informed him and Brian nodded, appreciating her honesty at least. “But I would like to get to know my grandson better,” she continued. “Well, I’ll talk to him later … and if that’s what he wants too … then we can arrange something.” “But the decision’s Gus’,” stated Brian and Joan nodded in agreement, though secretly appalled that an eleven year old boy should be given so much power. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “It really went that well?” questioned Justin in undisguised amazement when Brian later recounted his and Gus’ meeting with Joan and Brian shrugged. “I have to admit … begrudgingly … that she was almost pleasant.” “But I told her it was up to Gus whether they saw each other again or not.” “And does he want to?” asked Justin and Brian nodded. “I asked him in the car on the way home …he said he wouldn’t mind meeting up with her again … but I’m not sure I want to leave him on his own with her just yet … given the poison she’s spewed out in the past.” “You could invite her here … give her a chance to see we’re quite normal after all,” chuckled Justin. “And let her see just how well you’ve done for yourself,” he continued and Brian smiled at him. “Now that I like the sound of,” came the reply. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian arranged for Joan to come over the following Sunday for lunch. Rosa had prepared most things the day before, which she left in the refrigerator and everything was ready to be cooked in time for their meal. Brian hated to admit he was nervous about inviting his mother into his home. It wasn’t like he was seeking her approval, he certainly didn’t need that. It was probably the fact that he hated the thought of it turning into an argument, like most of their encounters had seemed to in the past and especially with Gus now in the picture. But then again, their last meeting had passed off pretty well, so maybe there was hope after all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A car was sent to collect her and Joan arrived just after midday. Brian reintroduced Justin, who then retreated to the kitchen to continue pulling their meal together, leaving Brian and Gus to entertain her. “Don’t leave us too long!” Brian had instructed him earlier, almost pleadingly. Smiling, Justin promised faithfully that he wouldn’t. Joan was very taken with the house and Brian decided to leave it to Gus to give her the grand tour, which didn’t include Brian and Justin’s bedroom. Some things had to remain private and off limits, decided Brian, but by the time Gus had brought his grandma to the dining room, Brian had laid the table with all the best linen and tableware; she couldn’t fail to be impressed! Though Joan wasn’t terribly enamored with one particular picture that adorned Justin’s studio wall, but chose not to say anything about it. Joan carefully inspected the Irish Linen table cloth and napkins on the dining table and Brian tried to suppress a smile when he saw her look of confused approval. Then, with Justin bringing in the serving dishes from the kitchen, they all took their places at the table. Begrudgingly, Joan had to admit how much she liked the house and was amazed at how tastefully and expensively, decorated and furnished it was, though it had almost killed her to say so. “Perhaps Gus would like to say Grace,” suggested Joan, once they were all seated and Justin glanced at Brian. No religious ceremony was practiced in this household and Brian looked over at Gus, who was obviously at a loss as to what to do. “That‘s not something we usually observe,” admitted Brian, truthfully, and he turned his attention back to his mother. “But as you’re the guest … maybe you’d like to say it,” he offered her and he saw the look she gave him. “Does the child get no religious instruction at all?” queried Joan and Brian shook his head. “Only the kind that teaches right from wrong,” he answered her. “Then I guess it’s up to me,” stated Joan, who then proceeded to give the usual thanks to the Almighty for what they were about to receive. Subsequently, the meal started in stony silence, and remained so, with Joan now observing her ’not speaking at the table’ rule that Brian remembered so well from his childhood. Trying to relax during their meal was impossible, and even Gus picked up on the tension and remained quiet. Joan refused second helpings, stating she thought the meat just a little underdone and the vegetables a touch overcooked. Under the table and out of Joan‘s sight, Justin slipped off his shoe and rubbed Brian’s ankle with his foot, both as a gesture of support and to try and tell him not to rise to her bait. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taking Joan through to the living room for coffee after they’d eaten, Brian then left Gus with her to get more acquainted; that was the aim of this venture after all, while not too far away, Brian and Justin cleared the table, wrapped up any leftover food for the refrigerator and put the dishes in the dishwasher. From her place on the sofa, Joan had frowned disapprovingly as she looked into the dining room and observed Justin place an arm around Brian’s waist as the older man picked up some more dirty dishes. Then she saw her son turn and smile at Justin, the man glad of his support, before leaning down to kiss him. While appearing to be listening to Gus, Joan continued to watch her son and his partner with disdain. The affection between them was obvious and unabashed and when Gus looked around and saw them and called something out to his father, the fact that the two adult males in his life were in the middle of a kiss did not appear to faze him one bit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Talking to Gus, it occurred to Joan that she now saw very little of Claire’s boys, the youngest of whom was now in his late teens. But Joan supposed that was only natural as they grew older and that very few young people held their elders in enough respect to actually spend time with them, if only to see if they had everything they needed or required any help. Surveying Gus and seeing how nicely he was clothed and how well behaved and looked after he obviously was, she hated to admit it, but he was clearly part of a very caring household. But she couldn’t accept that his parents, for it seemed that Justin also played a large part in Gus’ upbringing, were both male. For despite any love and affection they provided, how could that be right? In fact it was an abomination and against all that was holy and in addition, how could Gus be brought up without any religious guidance, a mother’s love, or at least, a positive female role model? If nothing else, she owed it to her grandson to provide that positive female role model, together with religious instruction and Joan came to a decision. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Having considered he couldn’t get away with leaving the two of them on their own any longer and helping Justin bring in the coffee, Brian and Justin joined Joan and Gus in the living. Unlike at the dinner table, the conversation now seemed much lighter and it seemed to Brian that Joan appeared to have softened by the time he got out the car to drive her home, though on the journey she still queried the appropriate female influences in Gus’ life and it became clear to Brian that she wanted to be one of those influences. That was okay, up to a point, he decided and as long as she didn‘t interfere. Joan then asked if Gus could come around for supper after school one day and Brian said he’d check with Gus and get back to her. Joan bit her tongue, on the point of asking sarcastically if Gus made all the decisions, but decided to remain silent and managed a smile instead. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As expected, Gus’ soccer team had indeed come top of their league, with Gus the most prominent goal scorer and then the youngster had a busy summer break. There was his twelfth birthday for one thing with Brian arranging a party at the house, inviting Gus’ school friends and soccer team mates. Gus also spent some time away with Tyler and his family, though both Brian and Justin managed to take days away from work in order to all go out together. During the break, Gus had also started to see his new grandmother and Brian would go in to work late and drop him off in the morning and collect him after lunch. Gus then continued to see her usually around once every two weeks or so, which continued after the start of the new semester, when he would go to her house straight after school. If he couldn’t make it himself, Brian would send a car to collect Gus from school to take him to the neighborhood he grew up in and where Joan still lived and then he would pick Gus up on his way home from work. Or, if he was going to be late, Justin would drive over to collect him instead. Gus actually seemed to look forward to visiting grandma Joan, as he referred to her, but Brian did wonder what on earth they could find to talk about every week. Though to keep the peace, Brian made sure Gus didn’t lose contact with grandma Debbie; his life wouldn’t be worth living if that happened! Thankfully, Gus did seem reasonably happy now and his grades had picked up, even if there was the odd hiccup at school every once in a while, which was probably only to be expected of a lively youngster like Gus. But unfortunately, one evening, much to everyone’s horror, Gus came home with a cut lip. Brian was appalled to think the boy had been fighting, though he had always taught him to stand up for himself. Gus had explained it away by saying he’d been sticking up for Tyler, who was being picked on at school, though the scuffle had taken place after classes had finished and off school grounds. “I’ll go down the school and sort this out,” declared Brian, much to Gus’ horror. “There’s no need dad … the other kid won’t bother him now.” “Then I’ll call Tyler’s mom … make sure everything’s okay …” “Dad … please don’t make a big deal out of this … the other kid came off worse.” Brian wasn’t sure whether he should be pleased or horrified by this statement, but he could see Gus clearly didn’t want him to take it any further and knew how embarrassing and humiliating it would be for him to have his dad show up at school if it wasn’t necessary. “Are you sure there’s nothing else to it?” Brian asked him and Gus nodded. “Scouts honor,” Gus promised him and then headed up to his room. “He’s not in the scouts,” frowned Brian to Justin after Gus had left and made a note to have a quiet word with Gus’ teacher anyway, just to make sure things weren’t more serious than his son was making out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ With both Justin and Brian’s businesses increasing workloads, Gus’ school routine and soccer commitments and his regular visits to both his grandma’s, everything seemed to be going along just fine, if a little more hectic than usual. But life was good and slowly, with more regular contact, Brian was beginning to think there might even be the chance of a real relationship with his mother. Until, that is, Brian realized he’d been lulled into a false sense of security when the letter with the heading Langton, Harrington & Associates dropped onto the doormat. Brian didn’t get to look at the mail until Justin pointed it out to him. He’d had to work a little late this evening and when he got home, Justin was pulling together the meal that Rosa had left for them. When work allowed, Brian was more than happy to take his turn at making dinner, always surprising himself at how domesticated he’d become and he hadn‘t poisoned anyone yet. But working at home, this task more often fell to Justin. He didn’t mind, he’d always enjoyed cooking, though this evening, Gus had already eaten and was in his room doing his homework. Brian poured himself out a glass of Beam; Justin already had a drink started. And sitting down on the sofa, he began to look over the mail that had been delivered earlier that morning. Frowning, Brian put down his glass and reached for the letter opener. It was just as well that Joan wasn’t within reach, or he might very well have used it to stab her in her scheming, lying, bitch of a heart. “Cunt … the fucking cunt!” declared Brian loudly and he threw the letter down on the coffee table and still holding the letter opener menacingly in one hand, with the other, reached out for his glass and took a rather large swallow of his drink. Brian and Justin had always tried not to swear in front of Gus, who was thankfully well out of earshot. But Justin heard Brian clearly from the kitchen and concerned about what had upset him so much, stopped what he was doing to go an investigate. “What the hell’s wrong?” asked Justin and Brian pointed to the letter on the coffee table. Justin picked it up. “She can’t be serious … can she?” asked Justin, after he’d read it and Brian took a deep breath and placed the letter opener on the coffee table. “Oh yes she can.” “My fucking mother is challenging my right … our right … to bring up my son … our son.” “Citing my past and our relationship …“ “She wants custody,” stated Brian, running his hand through his hair and Justin knew what was going through his mind; what was going through both their minds. That in this state, as in the majority of the U.S. and without any legal protection on their side, she might just get it. To be continued.