Home Run Chapter 6 Justin: ~~~~~ "Molly, don't panic. There's still a few weeks to go. You know what Dad's like; he could still come around. Of course I'll be there, I said I would, didn't I? Put Mom back on." Justin made a face at Tim, who was trying to attract his attention by flicking water onto his stomach. Justin grabbed his hand, preventing him from pulling at the waistband of his shorts. But Tim only put down the glass and started to use his other hand in his attempt to remove Justin's clothing and laughed as he watched the blond trying to maintain his composure whilst talking to his Mother. Justin managed to get off the bed, still with his shorts intact and hold Tim off whilst he tried to finish his conversation. "Mom, I know Molly's upset, but Dad might still come around. I'll be there in any case if he doesn't, so things will be fine". Turning his back on his lover, he continued. "Mom, I'm okay, really, I am. Please don't worry about me. I'll speak to you again soon. Bye". "What was that all about?" Tim was lying on the bed, watching him. It hadn't taken long after Justin had moved in for them to become lovers. "That asshole Father of mine!" exclaimed Justin. He put down the phone and sat on the bed. "He's refusing to give Molly away at her wedding. He doesn't approve of the guy she's marrying". "Okay, but why is your Mother worrying about you?" Justin lay back on the pillows. "Cos of this", he said, waving his right hand in the air. Tim took hold of his hand, turned it over and kissed the palm. Justin had explained to him why it was his hand shook and cramped. "I still can't believe the asshole that did this only got community service," said Tim, kissing up Justin's arm, reaching his shoulder. "Mom's worried 'cos it's coming up to the time it happened. She still thinks I never got over it". "And have you?" Tim asked, kissing Justin's neck. Justin shrugged as Tim kissed his throat and was now working his way down his chest and over his stomach; finally able to pull off the shorts, with Justin ruffling the brunet's hair as he did so. Justin lay there. He was more than happy for Tim to carry on with what he was doing, enabling him to just think. '10 years ago. Christ, was it really that long?' He looked up and watched as the man worked his way towards his goal. He'd always wondered why he'd been so attracted to him. Could it be he reminded him of another brunet he once knew? Brian: ~~~~~ Gus had fled to his bedroom the moment they had got back inside the door. Debbie put a hand on Brian's arm, preventing him from following. "Give him a little time on his own to cry it out", she said gently. The whole day had been a blur for Brian; right from when the cars had arrived to take them to the funeral home where they'd held a small service. Melanie's cousin Rita, had attended, but Lindsay's sister had declined. The congregation had comprised of all their friends; the family they had made for themselves. Brian had read the eulogies, with Gus standing alongside him, holding his hand. He had thought he wouldn’t be able to hold it together, but in the end his tone had disguised the churning stomach and the taste of bile in his mouth as he spoke. To people who didn’t know him, he would have sounded cold and unemotional, but the few who knew him best, understood what was really going on underneath the surface. A little later, as they watched the coffins being buried side by side, Brian couldn’t help thinking that a little of himself had died as well that day. Now back at the house for the wake: the usual small talk, glasses of sherry or whiskey being poured, and the platters of food were being passed around. The whole scene seemed unreal and Brian couldn’t help but think that Lindsay and Melanie would walk in at any moment, wondering why all these people were occupying their living room. “Brian, if there’s anything I can do … “ “Thank you Ted. I’ll probably ask you if you wouldn’t mind spending a little more time in New York for me. I’m not sure when I’ll get back there”. Having known each other for many years, Ted was now employed by Brian as his accountant, which often entailed him visiting the New York office. “Sure thing Brian. Whatever you need”. “That goes for me too, Brian” said Emmett, “If there’s anything I can do for you or Gus .. “ "Thanks Emmett, you've done enough already". Emmett and Debbie had catered the wake between them, accepting no charge and only pleased to be able to contribute in some small way, and one less thing for Brian to have to worry about. Brian smiled. Everyone meant well, he knew that, but he wished they would all go the fuck home and leave him and Gus alone. And he wondered why is was that whenever someone dies, the house is always full of people coming and going, when all you really want is to be left alone. Eventually, he got his wish and people started to leave. Debbie as usual, fussing around, clearing up, packing away the leftover food, putting it in the freezer for later. She’d already supplied them with enough ready meals to keep them going for a month and he had to practically physically walk her to the door to get her to leave. But she understood, and she kissed him goodbye and made him promise to call her if he needed anything: anything at all. Shaking hands as people left, the ‘thank you for coming; we appreciate it’ became automatic, Brian not really registering who he was talking to, the faces just blurring one into another. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Gus, get your ass down here and get to school. NOW”. Brian ran his fingers through his hair. ‘Christ’, he thought. No one had ever warned him it would be like this. He’d employed three different nannies in the weeks since the funeral. None of them lasted more than a few days at a time and Brian had to re-arrange his schedule in order to be home for when Gus came out of school. He'd become unco-operative, wilful even. And was starting to refuse meals Brian was sure he’d always eaten in the past, stating he now didn’t like this vegetable or that meat dish or didn’t like fish or chicken or whatever was placed in front of him. Or maybe it was “That’s not how Mom did it”, or “Mama would have done it this way”. Whatever Brian tried to do, he just could not compete with two dead Mom’s. He was beginning to think staying in Pittsburgh was a bad idea, but for the time being at least, he wanted Gus to remain somewhere familiar, with people who loved him around him, and that had meant also having his Dad with him. But somehow, they just hadn’t quite connected, at least not yet. Brian’s relationship with his own Father had been practically non-existent. The only connection made there was usually with Jack’s fists. Brian knew what it was like to feel unloved as a kid and however Gus was behaving, he was determined to see it through, for Gus to know he wasn’t going to run out on him. Today had been particularly difficult. Gus didn’t want to go to school to begin with and had stomped about, not getting his things together and Brian thought he was going to lose it with him at one point. Eventually, having got his son off to school, he’d gone down to the office for a couple of hours and then taken work home to be there when Gus returned. When he arrived, brought home by a friend’s Mom, he’d turned on the tv straight away. Brian turned it off. “No tv before homework, young man. You know the rules” and Gus had stormed off up to his room. Brian let him stew. He didn’t want to be the heavy handed Dad, but he couldn’t afford to let him get away with stuff. After a while, he realised it had been some time since he’d heard him moving around and thought he should go and check what he was doing. He found that Gus had pulled out several boxes from the closet in the spare bedroom and was going through them. “What are you doing?” he asked. Gus was looking through some photograph albums, with several pictures of Brian among the pages. Brian sat down beside him. “My God. I’ve not seen these in years”, he said, picking up one of the volumes. Among them were Lindz’ and Mel’s yearbooks. “Dad, is that you?” Gus asked, pointing to one of the photographs. “Sure is, Sonny-boy. Your Mom and me were at college together. And this one” he said, opening up another book “this was your first birthday". They sat on the floor side-by-side, laughing at the photographs of Mel and Lindz taken as kids and throughout their relationship and Brian teased Gus about all the baby pictures his Mom’s had taken of him. “Who’s this?” asked Gus. “Mmm?” said Brian, flicking through the book he was holding. “This man; you’ve got your arms around him”. Brian looked over at the photograph Gus was pointing at. It was Justin. The photograph had been taken at the Gay and Lesbian Centre, when Justin had displayed his artwork for the first time. “There’s other pictures in here of the two of you. I don’t remember seeing them before. What’s his name?” Brian took the album from Gus and slowly turned the pages, looking at the photographs. This was another life ago and Brian couldn’t help but wonder and not for the first time, how different things might have been if only……… ‘Shit, what was the point of going over this again; opening up old wounds’. “Dad, who is he? Was he your boyfriend?” Gus had grown up well aware that unlike most of the kids at school, he had two Mom’s who loved each other and who were his parents and, like his Dad, were gay. "His name’s Justin. He … he was someone I used to know once," and before Gus could ask anything further, Brian closed the book, but Gus noticed he didn't put it back in the box with the others, but kept a hold of it. "Dad", said Gus softly. "I'm sorry I've been so shitty lately". "Hey, watch your language, young man". "I didn't mean to be, it's just been so hard … with out them ….". "I know", said Brian, placing an arm around his son's shoulders. "But it's you and me now Sonny-boy. We're all we've got, don't you forget that". To be continued