Chapter 2: Justin told himself to open his eyes, but it was taking some time for the message to get through from his brain. And then he felt movement beside him and gradually became aware of someone else; someone who was working their way down his chest and stomach and Justin tried to sit up. At last forcing open his eyelids and summoning up his strength, Justin propped himself up on his elbows; slowly bringing the room into focus. He didn't seem to recognize anything, but the drapes were open, letting in the sunlight: the sun high in the sky and he squinted against its rays. It had to be around midday and Justin groaned as his cock was now taken into the warm, willing mouth that enclosed him. Looking down, Justin saw the brunet's head bobbing up and down and felt the tongue working its magic and for a moment, his heart skipped a beat and then he closed his eyes again. It felt great, but this wasn't the man he was missing so much; Brian had his very own special technique when it came to giving Justin a blowjob: this guy was close, but not close enough. However, with the move and trying to get settled, it had been weeks since he'd even looked at any one else, let alone have someone touch him in this way and opening his eyes once more, Justin tentatively reached out and ran his hand through the man's hair and closed his fingers. His grip spurred the brunet on and realizing just how much he needed this, Justin finally let himself go and moaned loudly; falling back on the pillows and arching his back as he was brought to climax. The man swallowed, eagerly taking down everything Justin had to give and with his eyes closed again and breathing heavily, he now felt the man climbing up his body and Justin forced his eyes open once more; recognizing the face peering down at him. “Good morning ...” “Adam ...” last night was slowly coming back to him, but there were parts he couldn't recall: like actually coming back to this apartment. He'd probably fallen asleep in the cab during the journey, but Justin did recall, sort of, having a good time at Marvin's party and the fact that Adam had been very willing in bed. “Well at least you remembered my name ...” stated the older man, smiling and he leaned forward to kiss him, but Justin quickly put his hand to Adam's lips before they touched his; lips smeared with Justin's cum and he saw the question in the man's eyes as he pulled back and then Adam remembered that Justin wouldn't kiss him last night either. “Ah ... you have a boyfriend ... that figures ...” stated Adam knowingly, and Justin tried to shake his head, despite the dull ache that was now beginning to make its presence felt. “No ... a partner ...” he insisted and he saw Adam frown. “And he doesn't mind that you fuck around?” “No,” answered Justin. “We can fuck who we like ...” “But you don't kiss ...” “No ...” Justin repeated and trying to ignore the headache, he swung his legs around and sat on the edge of the bed; he had a shift at the bar and grill later and he'd have to get a move on or he'd probably be late. “Can I take a shower?” “Through there ...” and Adam indicated a door on the opposite wall. Pulling the sheet around him and off the other man, Justin got unsteadily to his feet. “Need a hand?” Adam asked him grinning, and Justin turned back to face him. Christ, the guy was sexy and knowing what he was doing, Adam stretched out on the bed; totally naked and he did have a good body, but Justin shook his head. “No thanks ... I can manage ...” but it took a great deal of self-control on Justin's part not to take the man up on his offer as he retrieved his clothing from where it had been strewn over the floor. “There are clean towels in the cupboard,” Adam informed him and nodding slowly, Justin crossed the bedroom floor, opened the door and entered the bathroom. Stepping into the cubicle and turning on the water, Justin spent several minutes just letting himself wallow in it. Closing his eyes, he saw Brian's face in front of him and he couldn't help smiling. Of course; he remembered now: he'd called him last night to wish him good luck for the re-opening of Babylon. He'd sounded pretty good; much like his old self. And though he never said the words, hadn't Brian admitted that he missed him; saying the only man he was hot for couldn't make the opening. Justin sighed and wondered how they were both going to survive this separation without really talking; only scraping the surface and not really saying how they really felt. Justin started to lather up; his hand working down his chest and over his belly and he could begin to feel himself harden again just thinking of Brian and he started to stroke himself. It seemed so long ago since they last made love, but it didn't take much for Justin to recall how the man tasted, or to imagine the touch of Brian's hand on his skin and he shuddered despite the hot water. Though he'd left Adam in the bed they'd shared last night, it was now Brian he was thinking of as Justin pulled his fully erect cock; tugging harder as the strokes quickened and with his other hand, he leaned against the shower wall. With his eyes shut, it wasn't long before Justin came; shooting his load against the white ceramics and he rode out a powerful orgasm; allowing himself a little groan with every spasm until spent and he leaned his forehead against the tiles as he tried to catch his breath. Justin tried to suppress a sob; God, how he missed Brian. How he wished they could be together; move the clock on how ever many months or maybe even years it could take for the quality of Justin's work to be recognized. To make a name for himself and start to earn a real living with it and allowing him to return home a success in his own right; as Brian's equal. Justin knew they were already partners; Brian's spouse, even without any legal recognition, but he'd never really felt on equal terms as an adult with him; Justin still seeking his own path to success and recognition. And though Justin knew he was doing this for himself; he was doing it for Brian also. The man had such faith, both in Justin's abilities and in his love for him that Brian could allow Justin to leave him and seek his way; trusting that one day they'd be together again; in a way that only they could be. Slowly recovering, Justin soaped himself down again and rinsed off, then he reached for the dial and turned the temperature down to cool; he needed to clear his head. There were still parts of last night that were a little too hazy for comfort and these days Justin liked to be more in control and conscious of what he was doing. More revitalized, but with his head still throbbing, Justin stepped out of the shower and helped himself to a thick white towel and dried off. Having put back on his pants and dress shirt, he shook the tux jacket and smoothed out the creases. It didn't look too bad, despite having been discarded so carelessly last night; he should still get his deposit back. And having put on his clothes, he stepped back into the bedroom; Adam was no longer there and making his way down the hall, Justin found him in the kitchen and dressed only in a robe. And he couldn't help feeling a little guilty; being in Adam's apartment but jerking off as he fantasized over Brian. “Coffee?” asked Adam, having already poured one out for himself. But not waiting for an answer, he passed Justin a cup. “Thanks ...” and the blond carefully took a sip of the dark liquid. Thankfully, it was hot and very strong. Adam reached up and started to open the cupboard door. “Aspirin?” he asked him, but Justin shook his head. “Thanks ... but I'm allergic to most painkillers ... I've got something back at my place I can take ...” and he leaned back against the counter and wished the throbbing would stop. “God ... how much Champagne did I drink last night?” asked Justin and Adam grinned at him. “You were quite the toast of the party ... the belle of the ball in fact ... Marvin certainly enjoyed showing you off ... the next big find of the art world ...” Justin frowned; after his conversation with Brian, he could vaguely remember Marvin taking him away from Adam to resume presenting him to various groups and people wanting to talk to him and asking where they could see his work. At one point, Charles had stepped in to inform everyone of the impending show where Justin had been included and many said they would attend. But then Charles got caught up with some old friends and Justin had lost sight of him. Eventually, Adam had come to his rescue. “This time we will find that quiet place ...” he'd informed Justin and he'd whisked the younger man out of the house and into a cab; Marvin had frowned when he saw them leave together. But now Justin wasn't sure whether Adam was mocking him and he decided he'd probably stayed long enough. “I have to be going ...” stated Justin and he took another swallow of coffee and put the cup down on the counter. “You don't have to rush away ... unless you have to get back to your boyfriend ... sorry ... partner?” inquired Adam, but Justin sighed. “No ... he's in Pittsburgh ...” “On business?” asked Adam and he took a sip from his own cup. Justin shook his head. “No ... he lives there ... I'm here on my own ... we agreed I should come to explore what I could do with my art ...” “Well ... then he's either very trusting ... or very foolish ... to let you out of his sight ...” and slowly, Adam put down his cup and crossed the kitchen floor towards him. Now standing close to him, Justin could still smell the scent of sex on the brunet and realized just how much he'd missed the intimacy; but this was the wrong man. Screwing was fine; there was nothing wrong with that. But there was only one man Justin ever wanted to feel intimate with. “Last night was fun ... stay a little longer ...” and reaching out, Adam ran his fingers along the collar of Justin's jacket; hoping to get him out of it again. But suddenly, the younger man grabbed his hand. For a few moments, Justin held Adam's hand and then gently pushed him away. Justin swallowed; from the depths of his memory had come a flash of another man doing that and he saw the confused expression on Adam's face. “Sorry ... rented tux ... I have to get it back ... and I have to get to work ...” offered Justin as an excuse for his actions and his need to get away. He still had very little recollection of the night of the bashing, but every now and again something would happen that would trigger a memory he thought was lost forever and Brian running his hand under the collar of Justin's jacket was one of them. And though that was one memory he didn't mind coming back, it also served to remind him of what had followed. “You're working ... does that give you enough time to paint?” asked Adam and Justin nodded. “I work at Ramon's Bar and Grill ... the shifts are okay and besides ... I need the money ... I knew it was going to be expensive here ... but I didn't realize how much ...” Adam nodded; his mind working overtime, wondering if there was a way he could help Justin and also help himself at the same time. Adam had made up his mind this wouldn't be their first and last time together and wasn't going to let Justin give him the brush off. The blond had potential and he wasn't just referring to his art. Adam was prepared to work to have Justin; after all, he'd actually let the younger man fuck him last night and he picked up his wallet which was lying on the kitchen table; opening it, he took out a business card. “Here ... call me when you have some free time ...” Last night had been fun, what he could remember of it and Justin smiled as he took the card, which he pocketed and then turned to go out the door, but then he stopped and looked back. “Where the fuck am I?” he asked him and Adam grinned. “Let me call you a cab ... on the company account ...” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin wasn't the only one suffering from a hangover the morning after the night before and it was well after noon before Brian finally stirred and coming to, he could hear the shower running. Celebrating the re-opening of the club had lasted more or less 'til dawn, with his friends wanting to remain well after everyone else had finally left. A few of them were concerned that he would get home okay, but Brian had insisted he was fine and they should all go home to their beds; or someone else's if they were lucky and when just about everyone else was gone, Brian had another drink; enjoying being in the club after everyone else had left. But now, with his head thumping, Brian slowly got out of bed: his own. Christ, he hadn't put it away like this for weeks and stumbling a little, he made his way to the bathroom. He stopped in the doorway, just able to make out the shape of the figure in the shower cubicle; someone with a small build who shook a mop of blond hair under the water and Brian swallowed and reached out to open the shower door. “Jus ...” “Hi ... I hope you don't mind me using the shower ... I didn't want to wake you ... but now you're here ... why don't you join me?” The young man looked no more than about 19 or 20, with longish blond hair and blue eyes and who now grinned as he held out a hand; inviting Brian into the stall. Brian swallowed again and blinked but didn't move. “No ... that's okay ...” he answered finally and he closed the shower door and returned to the bedroom; his mind spinning as he tried to recall the previous night and he grabbed his robe from the closet. Barefooted, Brian headed for the kitchen; he needed coffee: hot, strong and plenty of it while he tried to piece together the events that had led to him sharing his bed with this particular young man. A few minutes later, he heard the shower stop and shortly after, the blond stepped out into the bedroom and slowly began to dress; making sure he was in full view of Brian, who tried to ignore him as he waited for the coffee to finish. “Any coffee?” asked the younger man as he crossed the living room floor, but Brian carefully shook his head. “Not ready yet ...” and finally he turned to look at him properly. He was sort of cute, but in a hard-bitten way; as if life hadn't necessarily always been kind to him and now the blond had come around the counter and was standing close and looking up at him; with an air of confidence that Brian thought he recognized. “Then do you have any water?” Brian nodded slowly, and moving away, retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge which he handed to the young man, who removed the top and took a deep swallow. Brian watched him; still trying to recall last night. He did remember how successful the re-opening of the club had been, but he couldn't remember coming home, especially with someone else. “The club was awesome ... so were you ...” the young blond grinned at him and Brian rolled his lips into his mouth as the coffee now started to drip down into the glass bowl. “If you want I can make us breakfast ...” Brian shook his head. “No thanks ... haven't you got things to do ... somewhere you need to be?” “No ... I could stick around if you want ...” “Not today kid ...” “I'm not a kid ... at least you better hope I'm not ... not after what we did last night ...” and the blond's eyes darkened a little and Brian frowned; the young man's tone was almost threatening and Brian was in no mood for games. “Well I have got things to do ... so ... if you don't mind ...” and Brian walked passed him and to the door which he slid open. The blond was reluctant to leave, but he didn't want to antagonize Brian Kinney of all people. He'd seen the look Brian had given him when he'd come up beside him at the bar; Brian had consumed a fair amount of alcohol already: everyone wanted to celebrate the club's success with its savior and the older man had looked at him as if he knew him from somewhere. And then the young man had asked around; seems like until recently, Kinney had a boyfriend; a small blond guy like himself called Justin and they'd even planned to get married until Justin had run off to New York, or so the story went, and leaving Kinney on his own. And so he'd hung around; even hiding out in the men's room until everyone else had left and he had Brian on his own. And Frank, one of the bouncers, had put them both in a cab and given the driver Brian's address. Smiling, the young man now moved towards Brian and then stopped. “You don't remember my name ... do you” he stated and Brian shrugged. “Thought not ... it's Jamie,” the blond informed him without being asked and he reached up on tiptoes to kiss him. Brian might not have known who Jamie was, but Jamie had been more than interested enough to find out who the the guy was that everyone was congratulating last night. Brian backed away and Jamie frowned; unsure why the man would refuse to kiss him again, and so he just smiled at him instead. Jamie was sure he could work on him. Kinney was kind of beautiful, for an older guy and was apparently pretty well off; he'd be quite a catch. “Then I'll see you around ...” stated Jamie, but Brian just nodded as the blond stepped out into the hall; Brian closed the door behind him and took a deep breath. Shit: the similarity between this kid and Justin was too much to be a coincidence; why the hell had he done that? Fucking another guy was fine; choosing such an obvious Justin look-alike was unforgivable, despite how much he missed him, and hadn't he been there before? Having poured himself a cup of coffee, Brian sank down onto the sofa. 'I wish I was there'; Brian closed his eyes as he struggled to recall Justin's words to him last night; finally remembering the phone call and he couldn't help the pang of guilt that soured the coffee in his stomach. Though the tricking was no longer a problem between them, his conversation with Justin had reminded him just how much he missed him; wanted him. They'd agreed together that Justin should take the opportunity to explore his talents, but Brian had never dreamed how hard the separation would be. And though he knew Justin loved him, Brian wondered whether they would ever be together as a real couple; doing all the things that couples do. And then he couldn't help smiling to himself. He doubted they could ever be a couple in the traditional sense, nor would even want to be. But in their hearts, that was a different matter. Brian was desperate to believe that while distance might separate them, in their hearts they were as one. But why of all nights had he chosen last night to bring Jamie home as an apparent replacement for the man he loved? Outside in the hall, Jamie couldn't be bothered to wait for the elevator and he grinned as he skipped down the stairs; whistling as he went. He'd taken a chance, but Brian obviously didn't recall last night; and the fact that they hadn't actually done anything. Making sure Brian was by himself in the bar, finishing up one last drink, Jamie had struck up a conversation, telling Brian how he'd just moved to the Pitts and how exciting the club was; his enthusiasm making Brian smile. Jamie had put his hand on the older man's arm; telling him that it wasn't only Babylon that excited him and had leaned forward as if to kiss him. Brian had smiled but pulled back and patted the blond's shoulder; telling him he wasn't interested; at least not tonight. Then, getting up from the stool Brian stumbled; he hadn't realized he was quite so drunk: so many people had wanted to buy him a drink to toast his success and Jamie had propped him up. Frank was securing the premises and finding them together; Brian now almost out on his feet, the bouncer had seen them outside and put them both into a cab; giving the driver directions to the loft. By the time they got to the converted warehouse, Brian was pretty far gone, only just able to inform Jamie that he lived on the top floor and Jamie had struggled to get him into the elevator and up to the loft; fumbling in Brian's pockets to find the key. But as Jamie was undressing him, Brian had started to mumble and Jamie thought he heard him whisper Justin's name under his breath before Brian had rolled over and fallen asleep. And this morning, Jamie thought he'd seen a flicker of shame in Brian's eyes when he opened the shower door; he obviously thought they'd fucked and felt guilty about it. The guys at the club were right; he did look like Justin and a plan had started to form in Jamie's head. And now as he stepped out onto the sidewalk, Jamie promised himself that wasn't the last Kinney would see of him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Going back to Rhona's, Justin showered again and changed into his own clothes; he had an evening shift at Ramon's and would grab a bite to eat there later. Checking the pockets of the tux before he took it back to the menswear shop, he pulled out Adam's business card and went to throw it in the trash but then stopped and looked at it. Fucking weird how he was in advertising, just like Brian and Justin realized that was probably why he'd found him attractive: his similarity to Brian. They were pretty alike, but Adam didn't appear to have that edge. He might be partner in the advertising firm he worked at, but it was doubtful he was really anything like Brian when it came to the no bullshit approach he'd adopted in his campaigns. Something Kinnetik clients were often initially wary of; but accepted once acknowledging that the public did demand to know more these days and would soon find out if you were trying to make a product out to be something it wasn't; that they respected the truth. Still, Adam seemed like a nice guy and he was a friend of Bertental; it wouldn't do any harm to keep him sweet and he had been a pretty good fuck; nothing more, but enjoyable all the same. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Standing in the middle of the floor, Brian looked around the club; the lights were up, which always made the place look so different: harsh and cold almost. But when the lights went down it turned into something else. And who could visualize the magical kingdom it could become when the lights were dimmed and the music started. This was a place where you could forget everything that was going on in the world outside and in your world too; while you lost yourself in the thumpa thumpa in this land of make-believe: often taking to the dance floor or fucking someone in the back room who didn't give you their real name; if they gave you any name at all. But it didn't matter. In here you could be anything you wanted to be and as long as you realized that the guy with you was probably fantasizing as much as you were, then who would get hurt. They were still clearing up at Babylon when Brian finally made it in to check on things. The bar staff had come in to re-stock and the cleaning crew, most of whom had been there the night before at the re-opening, had their work cut out. But one thing was for sure; the re-launching of Babylon had been a triumph. Only one thing had marred the occasion; the fact that Justin hadn't been there to share it with him and Brian still felt a pang of guilt about taking Jamie home. Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and took out his cell phone and was about to hit speed dial #1; Justin's number, but then he heard someone call his name and he turned around. “Brian ... there's a guy here from 'Out and About' ... their photographer was here last night and took some shots ... now they'd like to talk to you ... do a piece ...” “Now ... can't it wait?” asked Brian as he turned around to answer Ted, who'd been talking to the reporter outside. “Not if you want to make the next edition ... he's got a pretty tight schedule ...” Brian sighed as the ad man in him took over. Maximum exposure; that's what he needed to give the club in order to ensure its continued success and so pocketing his cell, Brian nodded and Ted went back to let the guy in. The call to Justin would have to wait. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Well I hear you impressed the pants off everyone last night ... and looking at you ... I'm almost surprised you made it in,” chuckled Anton; Justin still looked a little tired and hungover, but thankfully, after a couple of Tylenol, the headache was practically gone and he grabbed his apron from behind the counter and looked at Anton in surprise. “The art world is a pretty small community ... word soon gets around ... sounds like Bertental's really taken to you ... I've had people in here already today talking up a storm about you...” Anton explained. “He seems to be pretty influential all right ... but I'm not sure yet exactly how much that's gonna help me ...” shrugged Justin. “Are you kidding me?” asked Anton and he put down the towel and glass he'd been polishing. “Bertental knows everyone who's anyone ... he could really open some doors for you in this town ...” but then the man frowned and hesitated before reaching out to put his hand on Justin's arm; making sure he had his full attention. “But there is just one thing ... he has a reputation ...” “Sure ... he's a big art collector ...” “That's not the only thing he collects,” answered Anton seriously and Justin looked at him; unsure what the man was saying. Anton looked around; making sure he wasn't going to be overheard. “He also has a reputation for collecting young artists ... if you understand what I'm saying ...” When Anton had heard Justin had come to Marvin Bertental's attention he hadn't been surprised, but he had started to get worried. He didn't want to disillusion Justin just as he was starting out, but there were things the young man ought to know and Anton took it upon himself to tell him. “If what Charles tells me is right ... then you've got enough talent to stand on your own two feet ... you seem pretty grounded to me so don't get carried away by what Marvin might promise you ... don't let him use you ... and then drop you once the next hot young talent hits town ...” “I can see you're smart ... and sure ... the man could help make you in this city ... but he could also break you ... and I wouldn't like to see you suffer because he couldn't get his own way ... do you hear what I'm saying?” “Don't come to rely on him or let him take you over ...” Justin frowned. “Sounds like you've been there,” stated the younger man; having heard that Anton was an artist himself, but the bar owner shook his head. “In the end I wasn't good enough ... I didn't get caught up with the likes of Bertental ... they weren't really interested in me ... but I've seen it happen to others ... good kids and great artists ... who were destroyed by people who liked to control the scene ...” “I know people say there's no such thing as an art mafia ... and don't mock, Justin,” Anton pointed his finger at him, seeing the smile creep onto Justin's mouth at his remark. “Bertental might be the best known collector ... but there are others like him ... and between them they can control who gets seen and who doesn't ... and to a degree what work artists produce ...” “At the end of the day art is business ... to people like Bertental it's about what something is worth in hard cash ... not how much of themselves the artist puts into it ... because you can't put a value on that ...” “At the moment you probably think that one day you can make a good living selling your work ... and I'm sure there's a lot of people out there who'd want to buy it ... but until you make a name for yourself ... until people want to buy a Justin Taylor original ... you have to ask yourself if you're prepared to compromise and paint something that's going to be a commercial success ... or if you're going to stay true to yourself and paint how you feel ... what's inside you ... not what people think you should in order to make a buck ...” “You make sure Charles gets your work seen by every gallery owner ... every critic he can and in every show that comes up ... but you'll have to get out there and do a good selling job too ... don't let other people do it all for you ... only you know where your art comes from and why you paint what you do ... and if you are good it'll reach out to people and they'll buy it because of how it makes them feel ... not because it's an investment ... something they can just sell at a later date when you're better known ... or when they've grown bored with it or because it no longer goes with the lounge suite ...” “So get everyone talking about you ... clamoring to see your art ... and then when enough people know who you are and respect the work you produce ... you won't need the likes of Bertental ...” Leaving Justin stunned by his words, Anton patted the younger man's arm before he made his way to the kitchen to see how preparations were going for that evening's meals. And Justin was beginning to wonder if the art scene in NYC was as cut throat and as cold and calculating as the movie business was in L.A. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Babylon was buzzing more than ever. So much so that the bar staff couldn't cope and Brian agreed to hire more. The first few days had been totally insane and Brian knew he'd been neglecting the agency in getting Babylon up and running again. Now he had more than one business to run and though he could leave Kinnetik in Cynthia and Ted's capable hands for a while, most of his clients demanded his personal attention; something he'd sold them on when he'd started up the business. Brian knew he'd have to devote at least as much attention to them as the club and there was another reason why he knew he shouldn't spend all his time at Babylon; there was no way he was going to allow himself to become the over-the-hill club boy that Michael once spoke of. Which was why he took a break away from the club after a few nights; concentrating on Kinnetik and also the reason why he wasn't around when the new barman was hired. Jamie's driver's license and I.D. had given his age as 21 and though he looked kind of young, no one questioned the validity of the paperwork; not even Ted. Scraping together the money by any means he could, Jamie had spent every night at Babylon and had been disappointed and annoyed on the nights Brian didn't show. It was costing Jamie money he didn't really have to go to the club all the time and he was pretty sure Brian would only get mad if he just turned up at the loft. So when he'd seen the ad he jumped at the chance to work at Babylon: anything to get closer to Brian. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Who is that, Teddy?” asked Emmett over the sound of the music, as he watched the young man serving the customers; taking in the blue eyes and shock of blond hair. Ted looked around to see who Em was referring to and smiled. “That's Jamie ... the new barman ... pretty cute don't you think?” Ted answered him and Em frowned. “Sure ... but doesn't he remind you of someone?” “Justin ...” chimed in Frank, who'd overheard their conversation and his huge frame loomed over them; Ted and Em nodded in agreement. “Which is probably why the boss took him home the night of the opening ...” and Ted reached out to stop Frank as he went to walk away. “Brian took Jamie home?” “Sure ... I put them in the cab myself ... Brian was pretty drunk and the kid was all over him ...” answered the larger man, smiling. Ted let him go and he and Emmett exchanged glances. It was obvious Brian missed Justin and they remembered how before when they were apart, that Brian took up with every young blond twink he could find and they hoped history wasn't about to repeat itself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Despite the customers wanting him to be at the club all the time, Brian spent four nights a week at Babylon and the rest of the time concentrated on Kinnetik; the company was expanding and Teddy was starting to get a little worried that Brian was going to burn himself out. As with most things, Brian liked to be in control and often stayed at the office until midnight to catch up with the work he wasn't doing the nights he was at Babylon. “Did you go home at all last night?” asked Ted, for apart from the clean shirt Brian was wearing, he was dressed identical and sitting in the same place Ted had left him the night before when he himself had gone home around 9:00. “Sure ... I got home around 11:45 ...” and Brian got up to go over to the side table and pour himself another cup of coffee and in passing Ted, he put his arm around the other man's shoulders. “But thanks Mom ... nice to know you're looking out for me ...” he smiled at him, but Ted didn't return the smile. “I am worried about you ... you're either here or at the club ... don't you ever relax?” “That's what I go to the club for ... besides ... I have to keep an eye on my investment ...” and Brian took his coffee back to his desk. Ted looked at him; Brian did look tired. Didn't the man realize he wasn't 19 any more; he surely couldn't keep this pace up for long. “And what time do you go home from there ... 3:00 ... 4:00?” “Ted ... I don't need you checking up on me ... I'm a big boy ... I can take care of myself ... now ... do you have the figures for Chambers' ... what are the TV and radio spots going to set us back?” Ted sighed. Brian really did hate it when people looked out for him; despite his banter earlier and not for the first time did Ted wonder why Brian seemed to be embarrassed by other people's concern for him; it was like he felt he didn't deserve it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taking Anton's words on board, Justin had quickly presented himself at Charles' office and wanted to know what the strategy was for getting him noticed. “I was going to call you today ... set up a meeting with the gallery owner who's got the show coming up ... so you can decide which pieces to put in ... you saved me the price of a call ...” “What else?” Justin asked him and Charles smiled. “You are in a hurry ... aren't you?” and then he frowned. “Justin ... there are artists who have been around for years and who still haven't made their mark ... it's not going to happen overnight ...” “I know you've got Marvin's backing ... but it's still going to take time ...” “But that's it ... I don't want to rely on anyone else ...” and Justin closed his eyes for a moment; realizing how familiar those words were and Brian was right. There came a time when you were the only one you could rely on; because you truly were the only one who knew how you felt, what you wanted and what things meant to you. Justin realized he didn't want to rely on someone else's reputation opening doors for him; he needed to do it for himself. “It's my work and I want to be the one who decides what I do ... and ...” Charles narrowed his eyes. “I know who's been talking to you,” he stated and interrupting Justin. “But remember ... Anton didn't have your talent or your backing ...” “Are you saying he's jealous?” asked Justin and the other man shook his head. “Just that his view of things might be a little colored ... that's all ...” and Charles got up from his desk and walked around to Justin; putting a hand on his shoulder. “But I do understand your concern ... I have to admit ... Marvin can be a bit demanding ... but it's only because he gets so enthusiastic about new talent ... and right now you're it ...” “If I were you, Justin ... I'd make the most of it ... there are always new artists coming along ...” “Is that a threat?” “No ... of course not ... but it is a statement of fact ...” and Charles sighed and sat down on the corner of his desk. “No matter how good you are ... there'll always be someone waiting in the wings ... but that's the same in every profession ...” “You've got a reputation to build and that doesn't happen overnight and it doesn't matter how much talent you have ... there's always an element of luck in these things and who gets the breaks ... Marvin's in a position to help you get those breaks ... just don't look a gift horse in the mouth ...” Justin sighed; he had no idea things would get as complicated as this. He thought he could just come to NYC and paint. Had he really been that naive? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jamie was losing patience; he'd been working at the club for a couple of weeks now and so far, Brian hardly gave him the time of day, despite making sure there was a drink ready for him on the bar whenever he came over. The younger man was going to have to formulate some sort of strategy if he was going to make Brian acknowledge his existence. Jamie took notice who Brian mostly hung around with; those were the guys he was obviously going to have to be nice to, but it wasn't going to be all plain sailing. Ted was a pushover, but then he obviously went for small blonds himself seeing as how he looked to be with that guy, Blake. Michael and Ben only had eyes for each other, but Emmett was a different kettle of fish all together and Jamie didn't like the way Em eyed him suspiciously and he was right; Em watched Jamie watching Brian and knew the younger man was going to be trouble. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin's first show in NYC was rolling around fast. He'd met with the gallery owner and they'd agreed which pieces he would display, though Justin hoped to have at least one new painting ready as well. Charles had also worked hard and got him several interviews with other art critics and had set up meetings with further galleries in the coming months. He'd obviously been right; it was all going to take time. Bertental had started dropping by the studio unannounced; because he 'liked to watch artists at work', or so the man said. But he was always friendly and courteous and kept inviting Justin to parties and the theater; which despite Anton's warnings, Justin realized he would have to do in order to reach as many influential people as possible. So that people would get to know the name Justin Taylor, for the moment, he would have to play Bertental's game. Justin remembered Lindsay's words of so long ago; he was meeting some lots of really interesting people and though he slept with several, he made it clear he didn't want a relationship with any of them. Adam would often be at these events and they usually wound up leaving together; Justin telling him more than once that this was only fun; nothing serious and that there was only room enough for one man in his life that way; even if that man was so many miles away. Adam always replied that he fully understood and was only out for a little fun himself, but increasingly he was finding this beautiful young man harder to leave alone. Michael had been in touch about the next Rage story. When he'd packed up the rest of Justin's things from his old studio, he and Ben had brought back to the store everything Justin had left there, including the remainder of his clothes, CD's, DVD's and his computer, which Brian also had included in the shipment which went to NYC. At least now, Michael could email Justin the story lines he had in mind and Justin could send back his illustrations, though as yet, neither Justin nor Brian had emailed each other. Michael had asked Brian if he'd spoken to Justin since that phone call at the store and Brian admitted they'd spoken on Babylon's opening night, but otherwise stated he'd been too busy and besides, he didn't want to disrupt what Justin was doing. Michael had formed the opinion that if Brian didn't contact Justin then it was like he could believe he was still in Pittsburgh; like when they'd split up before the bombing: that they could almost be just around the corner from each other and that Brian didn't want to think of him almost 400 miles away. Brian was, however, far more reliable when it came to calling Lindsay and seeing how things were going with Gus; which surprised the shit out of Melanie but Lindsay understood him. Brian talked to Gus at least once a week and Lindsay had emailed Gus' latest school photo, which Brian now had framed and standing on his desk in the office. It was better off there than at home; he was hardly at the loft any more: these days it felt strangely empty. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin tried Brian's cell; he felt guilty that it had been so long since they'd spoken, even though he knew Brian could just as easily call him. But he knew Brian well enough to realize that the man was probably burying his feelings again; pretending they weren't there. And Justin didn't want Brian to go back to how it was when he denied his feelings for him. Shit: Brian's cell was still switched off: he was probably in a meeting. He'd tried calling the loft but had only got the answer phone: he'd have to try later and see if he could catch him at the club. Putting down his cell, Justin sighed and flexed his fingers before picking up the brush again; his hand was cramping up the more he painted and it was probably time to have a break altogether. With the shifts at Ramon's and trying to get his new painting completed for the show, Justin had been working flat out and last night hadn't had the strength to go back to Rhona's and had made a temporary bed up out of a couple of old armchairs that had been left in the studio and had woken up stiff and sore. He was spending a lot more time there now and was thinking about seeing if he could move in permanently. He would have to organize some cheap furniture, but it would save money and he'd be able to paint whenever he needed to: there was a basic kitchen area in one corner and a communal bathroom down the hall he could use. It would be dingy and not a whole lot different from the studio he had back in the Pitts, but it would mean he didn't have to travel at all. But not having left the studio all day; not even to eat, Justin knew he needed a meal and change of scene and glad of the walk and a chance to get some air, he grabbed a take-out on the way back to Rhona's. Getting home, he checked his email: Michael had sent him the latest story he'd written for Rage and JT. Justin read it as he ate and smiled wistfully and had swallowed hard when he came to the end; unable to believe that Michael could ever be this sensitive! Rage had sent JT on a special mission; something only he could carry out and in a strange world where Rage's powers were ineffective. It meant they would be apart for a while, in separate galaxies, but with their extraordinary mind-powers, they could transport themselves to another level and still fuck all night long. “If only ...” sighed Justin and suddenly he felt so lonely and taking out his cell, rang Brian's number: it went to straight to voice mail. It was still too early to try the club, so Justin decided to ring Michael and talk about the comic book instead. Ben answered the phone and said Michael was in the bathroom and would call him back. “Why did you do that ... I'm right here ...” his husband called from the kitchen. “I thought it would save him money ...” Ben explained and Michael kissed him. “I knew I married you for a reason ...” Michael whispered and picking up the phone, called Justin back. They talked for over and hour and of course during their conversation, Justin asked after Brian. Michael said he seemed okay, but hadn't seen a lot of him and that Ted had said he was working a great deal. Justin didn't like the sound of that; he would always be concerned for Brian's health; after the cancer and hoped the man wasn't doing too much. Michael asked how Justin's job was going and Justin gave Michael all the details of his show. “Do you think Brian would come if I asked him?” asked Justin, but before Michael could speak, Justin changed his mind. “It's okay, Michael ... I wouldn't expect him to ... with the club and Kinnetik ... Brian must have his hands really full ... it sounds like he's doing way too much already ... I don't want to add to it ...” Michael agreed that Brian was really busy, but made a mental note to tell him about the show anyhow; Justin's first art show in NYC was bound to be a big event for him: maybe he could persuade Brian to go. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To Michael's surprise, Brian actually agreed to consider going to Justin's show; after all, at one point he had been thinking about making a surprise trip to visit Justin in L.A. when he was there and decided he couldn't keep pretending Justin wasn't so far away but acknowledge it, and maybe even sound out NYC as part of a possible future expansion program for Kinnetik. Booking airline tickets on-line is all too easy, concluded Brian. All you had to do was hit the button. You didn't even get a chance to really think about it: if you didn't want to. It just took one hit of that CONFIRM button and Brian sat back in his chair, hardly believing he'd actually done it: he'd booked his ticket to NYC to arrive on the opening day of Justin's show so that he wouldn't distract him beforehand and then he booked the hotel. One of the best suites, in order to celebrate Justin's undoubted success. After that, there was just one more thing to arrange. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jamie overheard Brian telling Ted he was actually going to be taking a few days off and Ted looked at him in amazement. Slightly embarrassed, Brian admitted he was going to NYC to Justin's show and Ted had grinned and slapped him on the back; telling him how glad he was they were going to catch up with each other. Jamie frowned; much to his dismay, as well as Brian never lacking the attention of other guys, he was now going to get together with his old boyfriend. Brian obviously still had feelings for him and he was going to have to move fast if that wasn't going to happen. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian often liked to be the last to leave the club; he liked being there on his own; satisfied that everyone had enjoyed themselves: it gave him great pride to lock up and set the alarm. But this night, he was even later, after doing a bit of paperwork in the office as he was shortly going to be away in NYC for a few days. And, as he was about to leave, Brian thought he heard a noise coming from the small storage area behind the bar. Brian swallowed and first of all picked up the emergency flashlight from behind the bar and then grabbed a bottle of Beam before deciding it was too good to waste on a possible intruder and instead, swapped it for a bottle of house wine and slowly, he pushed open the door; the bottle at shoulder height and ready to lash out. Brian played the flashlight's beam around the small room. “Who's there?” and then he saw the figure huddled in the corner and reaching out, he switched on the overhead light. Jamie was sitting on what appeared to be a makeshift bed; there was a camping light on and a half-eaten box of take-out beside him and the young man was crying. “Jamie ... what the fuck's going on?” Jamie looked up at him; seemingly startled by the sound of a voice and the bright light and Brian realized the younger man was shaking. “I ... I'm sorry ... I didn't think anyone was still here ...” stuttered Jamie between sobs. Switching off the flaslight, Brian walked further into the room; trying to process what he was seeing. “Have you been staying here?” and then he saw the bruises, the cut along the cheekbone and the stains on Jamie's tee: evidence of a bloody nose. “Christ ... what happened to you?” and Brian sat down on the coat that had been laid over some storage boxes, thinking it was very hard and uncomfortable and that the kid must be desperate if he had to camp out here. And then he remembered it wasn't one of Jamie's work nights; he must have slipped in earlier unnoticed. “Well?” asked Brian, more gently and trying to coax out of him what was going on and Jamie lowered his gaze; he sniffed. Brian placed the flashlight on the floor and took his handkerchief from his pocket and passed it to him and Jamie took it and blew his nose and then took a quick breath; his voice quivering as he spoke. “I still live at home ... I got into a beef with my old man ... he drinks ...” Brian closed his eyes. Jamie didn't have to say any more and in fact the younger man would never know how much of a nerve he'd hit with just those few words. Brian nodded. “I remember only too well ...” he stated and Jamie looked at him and blinked. “My Dad was a drunk too ...” Brian admitted. “But you can't stay here ... and you should get that cut cleaned up ...” “I can't go home ...” cried Jamie, obviously distressed. “And it's too late to go anywhere else ... besides ... I don't want anyone seeing me like this ... “ Brian nodded again. He remembered how embarrassed and guilty he used to feel; carrying around the bruises his Dad had given him. And ashamed too; that somehow it must have been his fault: that he'd allowed it to happen and Brian sighed. “You can come back to mine ... just for tonight ... and tomorrow we'll see if we can find you somewhere to live,” and Brian got to his feet. “Maybe we can give you some more shifts so you can afford a room ...” “Are you sure?” Jamie asked him and he swallowed and Brian could still see the tears in those blue eyes that seemed surprised that anyone would want to help him. “I'm sure ... but we'll have to find you somewhere tomorrow ... I'm away after that ...” Jamie smiled weakly. “Thanks ... I ... I really appreciate it ...” and slowly, he got to his feet: he winced and held his ribs. “It wasn't just my face ...” Jamie explained quietly and Brian leaned down to pick up the young man's coat which he put around Jamie's shoulders and guided him outside. Locking up the club, Brian put Jamie into his car and drove back to the loft and getting out the first aid kit, cleaned up the cut under Jamie's eye. Then, leaving the young man sitting at the dining table, Brian went to the bedroom and took a blanket out of the closet: he threw it onto the sofa. “Try and get some sleep ... we'll sort this out in the morning ...” which in actual fact, wasn't too far away and seeing Jamie strip off down to his underwear and settle himself down, Brian went up to the bedroom and undressed down to his shorts before getting into bed himself. But he hadn't been in bed very long, when he felt the mattress dip beside him and he rolled over. “Is it okay ... I really don't want to be on my own ...” pleaded Jamie; still looking on the verge of tears. Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and for a moment, there beside him was Justin, four no, five years ago. Brian didn't say anything, but nodded slightly and turned back and away from Jamie; the young man allowing himself a slight smile as he snuggled up as close to Brian as he dare without actually touching him. An hour or so later, something woke Brian up and after a few moments, he realized he could hear the shower running. Then he remembered Jamie and looked at the clock on the nightstand; it was still only 5:30 and he wondered why the young man had got up so early. After a few more minutes and the shower was still running, Brian began to wonder if there was something wrong and getting out of bed, he went to investigate and what Brian found sickened him to his stomach. Jamie was huddled in the corner of the cubicle; cold water cascading over him and forming a red puddle under him. He'd taken the blade out of Brian's razor and had sliced through one of his wrists and was about to do the same to the other. “NO!” Brian yelled desperately and grabbing the towel from the stand, quickly pulled open the cubicle door and, stepping inside, he turned off the water. Brian wrapped Jamie in the soft towel, which was soon stained in the young man's blood and lifting him up, carried him back to the bed. He ran for the first aid kit and quickly unwrapping a bandage, wound it tightly around Jamie's bleeding wrist. Jamie was pleading with him. “Please ... please don't take me to the hospital,” and he sobbed, babbling incoherently. Seeing how distraught Jamie was and not wanting to add to it any further, Brian promised him he wouldn't be hospitalized if it wasn't necessary: the cuts didn't look to be too deep and the bleeding had started to ease off, but he would still need medical help and Brian grabbed his cell. Thankfully, he'd known Peter Linstrom for years; he was a doctor who often did work at the crisis center: something like this wasn't going to faze him and having woken the man up from his slumbers and living reasonably close by, it took Peter no more than 15 minutes to arrive at the loft. Brian threw on some sweats and a tee while waiting for Peter and then slowly, he opened the bottom drawer of the dresser. Though now dry, Jamie was shivering and needed something to wear; his own shorts were bloodstained and wet from the shower and Brian pulled out some shorts and a tee belonging to Justin; hesitating momentarily before helping Jamie on with them and hoping Justin wouldn't mind. Then, when Peter arrived and after introductions, Brian retreated and left the doctor to minister to Jamie, who now seemed unable to take his eyes off Brian and watched him walk down into the kitchen. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I've stitched his wrist ... and I've given him something to quieten him down ... he'll sleep for a few hours ...” stated Peter quietly, as he took off his protective gloves and tossed them in the trash in Brian's kitchen and he took the cup of coffee he was offered. “Who is he?” he asked him. “His name's Jamie ... he works at Babylon ...” answered Brian, leaning his elbows on the counter and holding his own cup of coffee; he'd wanted something stronger but realized he needed to keep a clear head. “Ah ... thought I recognized him,” admitted Peter. “Does he have a history of this?” Brian shrugged. “Not that I'm aware of ...” he answered him and Peter smiled. “He's got the hots for you ...” Brian blinked. “How do you know that?” “Because all he kept talking about was how you came to his rescue ... brought him home and took care of him ... promised to find him somewhere to live ... and then how you saved his life ...” “And because he watches your every move ...” and then Peter frowned. “Did you fuck him?” Brian glanced away. “You fucked him”, stated Peter. “He's an adult ... he knew what he was doing,” answered Brian, defensively. “Are you sure ... he doesn't look much more than a kid to me ... but then I guess you do have a history ...” Peter stopped himself and put his hand up. “Sorry ... not my place I know ...” and he put down his coffee cup. “You're damn right ...” Brian whispered to him. “So we fucked ... the once ... what of it ...” “Nothing,” answered Peter. “But be careful you're not getting in over your head with this one ... he could become dependent on you very quickly ... there looks to be a history of abuse there ... he hasn't said anything ... but I couldn't help notice the bruises ...” and Peter picked up his bag and coat he'd laid on the counter. “How's Justin doing?” “Justin ... Justin's doing fine ...” Brian answered flatly and Peter nodded; the similarity between Jamie and Justin hadn't got passed him and he wondered if this was Brian trying to supplant his absent partner in his own mind. But something else had also occurred to Peter. Brian couldn't help Justin when he'd been so seriously injured by the bashing, partly because of his own guilty feelings and partly because he hadn't been allowed to. Was he trying to make amends by taking care of the young man that was now asleep in his bed? “What do I owe you?” asked Brian and Peter smiled. “A couple of drinks at Babylon will square it ...” and he reached into his pocket and took out a card which he gave to Brian. “The cuts weren't too serious ... but he's obviously got problems ... so it would be a good idea if he arranged to come into the center and talk to one of the counselors ... he'll need those stitches taken out in a few days anyway,” stated Peter and Brian nodded and then walked passed him to the door, which he opened. “Call me if you're worried at all,” Peter told him and then he stepped out into the hallway: Brian closed the door. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jamie slept all morning, but when he awoke was tearful and continually apologetic about the previous night. Brian asked if there was anyone he wanted to call, but Jamie declined, saying his parents didn't really give a damn about him: nobody did, but that he did want to talk: to Brian. Jamie told Brian how easy he was to talk to and very soon a whole catalog of abuse came pouring out and he'd grabbed hold of Brian; desperately wanting to keep him close. Brian knew he couldn't leave him right now, but as soon as the young man was up to it, he would make sure he got the help he needed and while Jamie continued to sleep fitfully for the rest of the day and the following evening, Brian tried to concentrate on some work he'd originally intended doing on the plane trip to NYC. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin had waited nervously for the gallery to open to the public and had been there since first thing, making sure his work was hanging correctly and taking an interest in the other art on display. It was a relatively small gallery, but it had a variety of ceramics and sculptures as well as paintings on show; produced by both established and relatively unknown artists, like himself. Now the gallery was beginning to get busy and Justin's work was creating a lot of interest and he'd already given two interviews to art critics keen to see who it was that Caswell had been raving over. “Justin Taylor?” “I'm Justin Taylor ...” he answered to the man who now presented him with a huge arrangement of red roses. “Sign here ...” and he held out the delivery note for Justin's signature; the board it was clipped to having been tucked under his arm. Justin placed the arrangement carefully on a nearby table and signed the sheet; the delivery man smiling as he walked away. Justin looked at the roses; they were absolutely beautiful and he searched among the blooms for the card and having found it, took it out of the small envelope and read it. ~Sunshine, something I should have done a long time ago. B P.S. Hope you've got your meds with you.~ Justin grinned at the reference to his allergies and then felt the tears come into his eyes and not from the roses. Brian had finally bought him flowers and reaching for his cell, he called Brian's. He heard it ring out: it didn't go to answer phone, but maybe something else had his attention. But he couldn't wait. It was a week day and Brian was probably still at work so Justin rang Kinnetik; maybe Cyn could get a message to him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Hi Cynthia ... can I speak to Brian ...” “Hi Justin,” came the answer and then she frowned. “What do you mean ... isn't he with you?” “Me?” “Sure ... Brian arranged to fly to New York to see your show ... we're not expecting him back for a few days yet ... how's it going by the way?” Justin grinned. “It's going great ... thanks ... and I guess Brian must still be on his way here ... he's probably gone shopping ...” “Don't let him know I told you ...” pleaded Cynthia; not wanting Brian to know she'd spoiled the surprise. “I won't,” answered Justin, grinning and they both hung up. Justin was beaming; Brian was coming to his show after all: Michael had obviously given him the details after all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At the loft, Brian heard his cell ring out, but it was over on the kitchen counter and he couldn't reach it. Jamie had become distressed again during the night and when he did manage to get to sleep it wasn't long before he woke again, as if from a nightmare. Brian was lying on top of the duvet on the bed; cradling the sobbing young man who was clinging to him as if his life literally depended on it. Brian knew, only too well, what it was like to have an abusive Father and had been lucky that he'd had Mikey's to run to; something apparently that Jamie didn't have. But he'd also witnessed Justin's nightmares, trauma and despair following the bashing and remembered how helpless he'd felt at times. As soon as he could get him there, Brian would take Jamie to the crisis center; Peter was right, the younger man obviously needed a lot of help, but for the moment, he just needed someone to care and it would seem that Brian was it. By midday, Brian had known there was no way he was going to make the opening day of Justin's show, if at all; he was just thankful Justin had no idea he was coming and that he'd already arranged to have the flowers delivered. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin had grown increasingly worried all evening at Brian's failure to turn up at the show and the pleasure the experience should have given him just didn't materialize, despite people's interest in his work. Charles and Bertental had both come by; Justin politely turning down Marvin's offer to take him to a very late dinner afterwards, but Justin did accept Anton's offer of a ride and the man had taken both Justin and the arrangement of roses home when the show closed for the day. Justin didn't want to leave them there; it was a pretty big display and he wanted them back in his room, despite any adverse effects they might have. Now back at his room and no less concerned, Justin started to ring the airlines, but they all gave him the same answer: that because of data protection, they weren't allowed to divulge the names of passengers. They did however, assure him there had been no problems with any of their flights. So Justin rang the hospitals, but they had no record of anyone by the name of Brian Kinney being admitted. It was now the early hours of the morning and in desperation, Justin rang Babylon. Luckily, Ted was there and confirmed that Brian was supposed to have gone to NYC and had no idea what the hold up was. In fact Ted was helping to tend bar because Jamie hadn't turned up for his shift and hadn't called in. Now there was two people unaccounted for and Emmett raised an eyebrow when Ted related Justin's call and his own concerns. “Don't tell me ... something came up ...” offered Emmett and Ted groaned. “Christ ... I hope not ... Brian wouldn't ... would he?” Emmett shrugged. But they'd left together and giving Em a ride home, Ted drove passed the loft; Brian's car was parked outside whereas they'd expected him to have driven himself to the airport and leave the car there as he was only going to be away for a few days. And, looking up, they could see a light on in Brian's window. “Shit ...” mumbled Ted, under his breath, but it looked like Emmett's earlier suspicions had been confirmed. Brian hadn't gone anywhere and could very well have company. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Despite the lateness of the hour, Ted paced the floor; deliberating what he should do. But in the end he knew he really didn't have a choice. Justin had sounded sick with worry; he had to call and tell him that it looked like Brian had stayed in Pittsburgh after all. Though disappointed, Justin had heaved a sigh of relief when Ted informed him that Brian's car was still parked in the street outside the loft and that there were lights on in the window. At least it sounded like he was okay, but Justin could detect something in Ted's voice; he knew there was a lot more to it than that. “What aren't you telling me, Ted?” Justin asked him and he heard the hesitation on the other end of the line and eventually realizing the situation, Justin closed his eyes. “He's with someone ... isn't he?” Ted sighed. “There's this new barman ... Jamie ... he didn't turn up for work tonight ...” “So ... Brian chose not to come to my show after all ... and instead stay home and fuck some trick ...” “There's something else,” Ted told him and Justin frowned. “What else could there be?” “He looks a lot like you ... similar build ... blond ... blue eyes ... just a little younger ...” “My replacement ...” “Not necessarily,” Ted tried to reassure him. “But he has missed you ...” “But not enough to be bothered to get on a plane to NYC ... when he can have a replica right there at home ...” “Thanks Ted ... I think I know all I need to ...” and slowly, Justin closed down his cell. Justin tried to be logical; he knew they'd agreed the tricking wasn't a problem and Brian hadn't actually told him he was coming to the show; maybe Cynthia and Ted had got it wrong: maybe Brian had been talking about going away on business and had put it off for a day or so. But why wasn't the man answering his damn cell? At least if he could talk to him he could find out the truth one way or the other. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eventually, the young man appeared to have fallen into a deep sleep and Brian too had dozed off for a few hours. But now awake, Brian managed to extricate himself from Jamie's hold and took the opportunity to stretch his limbs and take a quick shower: hopefully, after a decent sleep, Jamie would now feel up to going to the center. Brian's cell rang again; it had rung a couple of times in the night, but Brian was so exhausted he hadn't heard it from the bedroom and believing Justin had no idea of his plans to go to NYC, Brian wasn't expecting him to call; other than the first time maybe, to thank him for the flowers, and without checking his missed calls, Brian had already gone into the bathroom. But Jamie did hear it and was curious enough to go and check on it and, sure enough, the caller I.D. said Justin and grinning to himself, Jamie answered it. “Hello ...” “Is ... is Brian there?” Justin frowned at the unfamiliar voice and, as he listened, he could hear the shower running in the background; in fact Jamie ventured a little closer to the bathroom just so that Justin could hear. “He's in the shower ... shall I tell him you called ...” “Who is this?” asked Justin, unable to stop himself, but Jamie wasn't going to satisfy Justin's curiosity just yet. Instead he would use this opportunity to try and undermine Justin and Brian's relationship. “It's Justin isn't it ... I saw the I.D. ...” stated Jamie and Justin thought he could detect a little cockiness in the young man's voice. “That's right,” answered Justin slowly. “I heard about you ... Brian's ex ...” “What ... what the fuck did you say?” challenged Justin and then he realized he could no longer hear the shower running and then came Brian's voice in the background. “Jamie ... who is it?” Brian had come out of the bathroom and saw Jamie using his cell and Jamie handed it over. “It's someone called Justin ... I thought it might be important ...” the younger man offered, innocently and Brian put the phone to his ear. “Justin ...” “I'm sorry to have bothered you, Brian ... I can hear you're busy ...” and quietly, Justin terminated the call. Brian closed his eyes at Justin's obvious annoyed tone and Jamie watched him; the older man was standing in the middle of the living room floor with just a towel wrapped around his waist. “I hope I haven't caused you any trouble ...” stated Jamie, putting his hand on Brian's arm: Brian looked at him and shook his head. “Nothing more than I'm used to ...” answered Brian and he sighed and dropped the cell on the kitchen counter. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back at Rhona's, Justin tried to prevent the tears from falling, but couldn't stop them and he went over to the arrangement of roses which he'd placed on the dresser. Slowly, Justin reached out and pulled one of the blooms away from its stem and then another and another and then with both hands, proceeded to rip the display into shreds; ignoring the thorns and then knocked it onto the floor: the china bowl smashing into a dozen pieces and Justin sank to his knees and sobbed. Of course neither Cynthia or Ted had got it wrong. Brian may very well have had every intention of coming to Justin's art show, but that was until something had come up and Justin now picked a handful of blood red petals up off the floor and let them fall through his fingers; the petals the same color as the droplets of Justin's blood now smeared on them. If he hadn't known Brian had been coming to his show, Justin probably wouldn't have given a second thought to a strange voice answering the man's cell; after all, neither of them expected the other to live like monks. He wasn't annoyed, but he was thoroughly hurt and disappointed. Because it looked like given the opportunity, Brian had reverted back to his old self after all; the one who'd existed before declaring his love for Justin; who chose his own pleasures rather than consider the man who was supposed to be his partner: putting his own needs first and foremost and Justin sighed, asking himself should he really have expected anything else. The last man who bought him flowers also broke his heart, before he realized that the romantic notions and hollow words whispered by Ethan had meant nothing. Brian had said he'd never do that and Justin had always believed that Brian was the only person who would never break a promise to him. But who was making empty romantic gestures now? To be continued. Thanks again to Lois for her patience and to both her and Judy for their continued friendship. Julia