Chapt 12 Two weeks past and Justin was still missing. He had made brief phone calls to Michael and Daphne letting them know he was all right but needed some time alone. Then one day while Emmett was at work he had stopped by the apartment to get some things and left a short note. Besides that no one had seen him and it had never occurred to anyone to check out Lindsey and Melanie’s house. Justin had made both girls promise to keep his secret or he would disappear where no one could find him. Melanie, of course, didn’t see that as a problem but Lindsey was adamant about him staying with them for as long as he wanted. Justin slept in a spare room but really he spent most of his days watching his son. He wanted to memorize every detail so when he was older, he could tell Gus how much he was loved from the moment he entered the world. He wondered if his real parents had felt that way. Joan and Jack Kinney sure hadn’t for Brian and Claire. Gus looked so peaceful and untouched by the cruelties of the world. Justin wouldn’t care if Gus turned out to be gay, straight, or anything in-between. It amazed him to think that not all parents felt that way. Day after day Justin would sit by the crib and watch Gus sleep. After two weeks, Lindsey was getting worried and felt like it might be time to step in. Justin wasn’t making any progress with his inner demons and it was tearing her up inside to lie to all of their friends. The girls had begun avoiding the diner at known family times so they didn’t have to hear the sadness in Michael’s voice or the fear in Emmett’s when they talked about Justin. Luckily Daphne had to go back to school and got her daily reports from Michael by phone. Brian had been the only one not talking about Justin and his silence said more than anyone else’s spoken concerns. Brian’s days went by in a blur of office plans, client conference calls, and apartment hunting. Vanguard, now named Kinnetik, had accepted all of his terms and now he was going through the long process of wooing current clients and finding the perfect team to take him to the top. Cynthia had flown in last week and the two of them had been running ragged interviewing current Vanguard employees and potential new hires. It gave Brian something to focus on besides the elusive Justin Taylor. Brian tried to mask his feelings regarding Justin’s absence but sometimes when he was alone, he couldn’t help the fear and worry from consuming him. He was in the midst of one of those moods when Cynthia walked in the door. “Hey Boss, you in there?” Cynthia asked, after standing in the doorway for a few minutes. Brian snapped out of his daze and looked up into her eyes. “Yeah, sorry I was just thinking about one of the accounts,” Brian lied. “Nice try but I know that’s not it. Why don’t you just tell me what’s got you so distracted? Is it one of those people that keep on calling you? I mean, I’ve never answered so many personal calls for you in my life. You were always the recluse in New York. Now you’re Mr. Popularity. Who are all these people?” “They’re family, OK? And no it’s not about them. Actually, they wouldn’t even be my family if it wasn’t for him.” “Whose him?” “Justin,” Brian said shortly and got up to walk to the window. Cynthia had figured there was some other reason Brian wanted to go back to the Pitts besides a sound investment but she never figured it to be about a guy. Men had always been just a receptacle for Brian to stick his dick in, not a reason to change his whole life. “And what it is about this Justin that made you move back to the one place you swore you’d never return to?” Cynthia asked bewildered. “I don’t want to talk about it so let’s just pretend I didn’t bring it up at all.” “No way, you’ve been moping for the last two weeks and now I find out it has something to do with a guy and you expect me to drop it? Are you shitting me? Why don’t you just go and find this Justin and talk to him about whatever has been up your ass since I got here?” “Because I don’t know where he is. Are you happy now? Just get the fuck out and do the job I pay you so well for. This subject is officially closed.” Brian turned his back on Cynthia, dismissing her from both his thoughts and the room. It only piqued her interest more but now was not the time to get answers. Brian went to stand by the window once Cynthia had left and looked out at his view of Pittsburgh, wondering where Justin could possibly be. For all he knew, Justin might have left town for good. The way his life was going, it would almost seem fitting for Justin to leave town just when he had come back. Melanie was out of town visiting a sick aunt when Lindsey woke to the sound of Gus crying through the baby monitor. She was reaching for her robe when the cries abruptly ended. Turning up the volume on the monitor, she could hear Justin’s soft gentle voice. “Shhhhh Sonnyboy, Daddy’s here. No need to wake your mommy up, when I’m right here and won’t be falling asleep anytime soon. You’re lucky, you know, to have two mommies that love you so much and would do anything to make you happy. And whether Mel wants to admit it or not, you have me too. I’m not gonna abandon you. People that love you aren’t supposed to do that. They stick by you, no matter what life you choose or whom you choose to live it with. Nobody’s ever stuck around long enough to do that for your dear old dad. I know I have your mom now and Uncle Mikey and Aunt Daphne and the rest of your extended family but it’s not the same as the people who raised you, the ones who were supposed to see you through all the good and bad times. I thought your Uncle Brian was that person but then he went away and now he’s back and I’m not sure if that makes me happy or sad. How do you really let someone back into your life when they caused such turmoil the first time they left?” Lindsey clasped her hand over her mouth, trying to hold back the sobs building up in her. All she wanted to do was comfort Justin and as strong as that desire was, she knew at this instant Gus could heal him more than she ever could. So Lindsey waited and continued to listen. “What your Grandmother thinks shouldn’t matter but it does. I just don’t want to end up alone with only my nightly tricks to keep me company. Joan’s probably up praying for my soul right now,” Justin chuckled, “What if I go to Brian and he leaves again then what will I have? Mikey and Ben will eventually get married and have their own little family. Daph’s already halfway down the aisle herself. It won’t be long before Teddy and Emmett find a couple of queens to play house with as well. Your moms have each other. Gus, will you leave me one day too? Then all I’ll have is a mother that hates me and a sister who is afraid to let my disgusting lifestyle anywhere near her kids.” “That’s not true,” Lindsey said from the doorway. She just couldn’t wait another second, knowing that Justin thought he was alone in the world. Justin looked up startled from the rocking chair where he was holding Gus in the crook of her arm. “Linds, I’m sorry if I woke you.” “No, you didn’t. I was up anyways,” she lied. “How much did you hear?” Justin asked. “Enough to know that you’re all wrong. You’re the one who brought together this rag tag group of friends. You’re an integral part of all of our lives, especially the little angel you’re holding in your arms. I wouldn’t have him if it wasn’t for you and you’ll always be his father. Don’t doubt your place in my heart or anyone else’s. Michael would give his life for you. When Daphne’s older she’ll be next in line asking for your sperm. Emmett would still be a retail queen if it wasn’t for your support in his catering business. You believed in him when no one did. It doesn’t matter what your mother thinks because you’ve got Deb in your corner and she loves you enough for two moms. We’re not going anywhere but that doesn’t mean you can’t open your heart up to one more person.” “What are you talking about?” “Brian,” Lindsey stated with certainty. “Brian’s just a friend that manages to repeatedly fuck up my life. By now he’s probably left town anyways,” Justin replied. “Not even close. He sealed the deal on his new advertising agency right here in Pittsburgh and has been busy setting up shop the last few weeks. He’s not going anywhere and I suspect that has something to do with you.” “Bullshit,” Justin mumbled and got up to put Gus back in his crib. Once Justin had returned him to his crib, he exited the room and headed back to his own bed. Lindsey followed close behind. “Justin, don’t turn your back on him when he might be your one chance of having something real and meaningful. There’s a spark in your eyes when he’s in the room. How can you not just take a chance?” “Linds, he feels the same way about relationships as I do so what makes you think he would even want to be with me?” “Because he’s looked like a lost puppy since you pulled your disappearing act. The man is in pain and you are the only one that can get through to him. Just think about it,” Lindsey suggested and turned to go back to her own room. She hoped that she had made some type of headway but seriously doubted it. Justin was in a dark place and it was impossible to tell when he would snap out of it. The next day when Lindsey went to check on Justin, his bed was empty. She searched the house frantically but there was no sign of him. She was about to try his cell when she noticed the brief note on the fridge. Linds, Thanks for giving me a safe place to get my head together. Time to take a chance. I’ll see you soon and take good care of our son. -J Lindsey smiled, hoping that Justin would get the happiness he so richly deserved. First love was hard but so worth all of the pain. Justin would realize that soon enough, of course he would have to admit it was love first. Justin was nervous as he walked through the large glass doors of Kinnetik Advertising. Although everything was very impressive, he could tell renovations were still underway. The receptionist’s desk was empty, but before Justin could look very far a blonde woman was walking by. She noticed Justin immediately and approached him. “Can I help you?” she asked. “Yeah, I’m looking for Brian Kinney,” Justin responded. “Do you have an appointment?” “No, I’m sorry I don’t. I guess if it’s a bad time I could come back later or..” Justin rambled. Cynthia couldn’t help but smile at the boy’s attempts at speech. It made the young man even more attractive. “Don’t worry about it. Now what’s your name?” Cynthia interrupted. “Oh sorry, Justin Taylor. I’m an old friend of Brian’s” Justin explained and reached out to shake Cynthia’s hand. “Justin, really?” Cynthia asked in shock. She couldn’t believe this adorable young man was the one to throw the Great Brian Kinney off his game. He was hardly out of his teens and far from the muscle queens Brian usually indulged in. “Wait right here and I’ll go tell Brian you’re here,” Cynthia instructed. Brian was in the midst of an important conference call, when Cynthia knocked and walked in without waiting for his response. He glared at her annoyed and continued to speak to the gentlemen on speakerphone. Cynthia ignored his response and walked directly up to him. “Pardon me gentlemen, but Mr. Kinney will have to call you back momentarily. Another client has dropped by unexpectedly and it’s something that needs Mr. Kinney’s immediate attention. He’ll call you back once the situation has been resolved. Thanks for your understanding” Cynthia stated. Several voices answered their agreement and Cynthia disconnected the call. “What the fuck was that about?” Brian raged, standing up to tower over Cynthia’s small frame. “I told you, you have a visitor,” Cynthia explained “So what? Whoever it was could have waited. That was an important call.” “And this is an important visitor.” “Well don’t keep me in suspense. Who is it?” Brian asked, his voice still loud. “Justin Taylor. Do you want me to tell him to go?” For a moment, Brian was speechless. He had not expected Justin to seek him out. This morning at the diner, Justin had still been MIA and now he was just beyond a couple of doors. “No, that’s OK. You can send him.” “Sure thing Boss,” Cynthia replied with a smile, practically skipping out to find the young blonde. Brian took a moment to look in the mirror and check his appearance. Every strand of hair was perfectly tussled. Three weeks later and he still had no idea what he was going to say or what he wanted, if anything at all. Before he had time to think anymore about it, there was a light rap on the door and Justin walked in, looking more beautiful than he could remember.