Chapt 13 Justin woke feeling happy and refreshed. He couldn’t believe how receptive Brian had been to all of his romantic gestures. For the first time in his short life, Justin felt truly connected to someone else and free to be exactly who he was. As he gazed adoringly up into Brian’s eyes, he was surprised to see a completely foreign expression. Something had changed while he was sleeping but he had no idea what or why. He was about to ask Brian about it but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. “Good morning Sunshine,” Brian whispered and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, before quickly getting out of bed. “Where are you going?” “I’m just jumping in the shower. One of us has work today.” “Would you like some company?” “No, that’s OK. Why don’t you rest a little longer.”? Justin nodded his head, leaning back against the pillows but his eyes remained focused on Brian until the bathroom door shut behind him. Brian needed a few moments alone to regain his focus and put some well needed distance between them. He had formulated a plan in his head and needed to be in complete control of his emotions to see it through. After getting dressed Brian approached the bed, where Justin was sleeping peacefully. He took a moment to watch his beautiful boy sleep before reaching down and jabbing him in the side. “Ow, what was that for?” Justin exclaimed. “Get up. It’s time for you to leave.” “Leave? Come on Brian. I promise I’ll lock up later when I’m ready to go.” “No, you’re ready to go now,” Brian stated and dragged Justin up and out of bed by his shoulder. “What the fuck are you doing, Brian?” “I’m taking back my life. I know I said I could do this but the truth is I want my freedom back. You come here whenever you feel like it and overreact to my choice to live life the way I want. Let’s be honest, you’re not low maintenance.” Justin could only stare at Brian slack jawed in shock. It had taken an act of god to get him to open up to anyone and now the one man who he could tell anything to didn’t want to hear it. “But…but I…” “Don’t bother trying to explain or convince me to change my mind because it’s not gonna happen. I don’t want you living on the street again but I also don’t want to run into you over at Mikey’s. Do you understand what I’m saying?” “No, I don’t get it,” Justin choked out. “Go home to Mommy and Daddy. It’s where you belong and it’s where I’m taking you as soon as you get dressed.” “I can’t go back there! They want me to be some breeder.” “I say you give it a chance. You don’t have any other options because if I find you on the street again, I’m calling the cops.” Tears began to fall freely from Justin’s eyes. He attempted to grab a hold of Brian’s arm but he stepped back before he could get a grip. “Why are you doing this to me?” “Because this ain’t a halfway house and I’ve given enough charity for the year. One day you’ll thank me.” “I doubt it,” Justin mumbled and fetched his pants from the floor. The car ride to the Taylor’s was done in complete silence. Justin couldn’t believe he had been so wrong about Brian’s feelings. He should have just kept his mouth shut and none of this would have happened. Justin had problems pinpointing when exactly everything went wrong. Last night was perfect and now he was going back to the one place he had grown to hate. Justin could see his mother peering through the blinds when they pulled up. He reached for the bag behind his seat and yanked it forward onto his lap. Before he could open the door, Brian finally spoke. “Hunter’s dropping off the rest of your stuff tonight, so you don’t have to worry about that. You and I both know this is for the best so give it a fuckin chance and move on with your life.” Justin’s gaze had remained straight ahead until Brian stopped speaking. He then forced himself to stare Brian right in the eyes. “Have you ever asked me what I want? What I think is best for me? Fuck you Brian! I might be damaged mentally but at least I’m not handicapped emotionally. You’re getting what you want; I’m out of your life for good so don’t act like you’re doing me any favors.” Justin jumped out of the car before Brian could say another word. He practically sprinted to the front door and allowed his mother to hold him tight the moment she opened the door. He only felt numb and as he entered the house that used to be home, a silent veil once again fell over him. His mother droned on and on about change but all Justin could do was nod his head. Feeling nothing was better than the pain he would have to go through again. Brian sat outside of the Taylor house for a couple minutes longer, wondering if he was really doing the right thing. Before he could change his mind, Brian started the engine and headed home. He felt a pain in the pit of his stomach and shrugged it off as indigestion, although he suspected it was something more. The old Brian would head off to Babylon but now all he wanted to do was go home and sulk. Justin was sitting alone in his room staring out the window when Hunter entered the room. His back was to Hunter but he could see the obvious slump of his shoulders and labored breathing while he quietly sobbed. In all the time he had known Justin or JT, he had never seen him openly express his emotions as he did now. He had known Justin felt things but not this deeply, not enough to break him down. Justin was the strongest person he had ever known. Tentatively he reached for Justin, resting his hand on his shoulder. “Come on Justin, talk to me. This is supposed to be the big family reunion. I mean, I was pretty shocked when Brian told me but I know this is what you always wanted. It’s what you’ve been waiting for.” Justin shook his head and continued to stare out the window. “Justin, we’ve come too far for you to clam up on me now. You’re my best friend. Please, just tell me what’s wrong.” Justin finally turned and immediately buried his face in Hunter’s chest. He lost all control and cried out for every injustice he had experienced over the past year. Held close in Hunter’s arms, Justin finally began to feel a little peace. Brian may have deserted him but he still had the only brother Justin had ever known and that was the man now offering him comfort. Justin owed him a little honesty. He took a deep breath, before speaking. “It is what I wanted, since the moment I was kicked out of my family I’ve been hoping they would come and find me. But they didn’t and I began to realize that maybe I was waiting for the wrong thing, the wrong person. The right person turned out to be a tall, hazel eyed, emotionally handicapped, older man who managed to open up my mind, my heart and eventually my body as well. Then when I finally felt sane and truly special, he dumped me back on my parent’s doorstep where I haven’t meant anything to anyone in quite some time.” “Your parents love you.” “It’s not about loving someone. It’s about loving someone enough allow them to make their own choices about how they live their life.” “And what about Brian? Is that love?” “For me it was. It doesn’t matter though what I want. It never has.” “That’s not true” “If it mattered, Brian would be here right now. Instead, he chose to kick me out of his life and send me home to Mommy and Daddy. That’s not love. It’s just one more person who doesn’t want me.” Justin took a few steps away from Hunter and went to lie down on his bed. He curled up in a small ball, once again facing the window. Without a single sound, Hunter crawled onto the bed as well and wrapped his body around Justin from behind. After a few moments, Justin was finally able to relax into the embrace and fall into an exhausted sleep. Hunter waited long enough to make sure Justin was asleep before easing himself off the bed and heading toward his next destination. Brian awoke from his stupor to the sound of pounding on his loft door. He stumbled to the door and yanked it open, not incredibly pleased to see the wayward hustler on his doorstep. “I’m not gonna fuck you so go find someone else to annoy,” Brian muttered and attempted to close his door. Hunter was too quick and slid right through the doorway. “I mean it. Get the fuck out!” Brian yelled. “Is that what you said to Justin to get him to leave? I sure as hell hope you were a lot nicer and waited until after he had gotten dressed following your latest fuckfest.” “You don’t know shit about me and Justin so don’t act like you do. You may be his private sponsor but that doesn’t mean you are entitled to all the ins and outs of our relationship.” “So now you have a relationship? Funny, I could have sworn you just dropped his ass off at his parent’s house without a backward glance.” “I did what was best for him,” Brian tried to explain. His voice was softer and filled with pain. That, of course, pissed off Hunter even more. “The fuck you did. I just left him crying himself to sleep in a room where all of his happy childhood memories have now been shattered. His parents don’t know him anymore and the only person who he ever really opened up to has kicked him out of his life.” “He belongs with his family. It’s what he wanted.” Hunter shook head, infuriated with Brian’s absolute stupidity. He really didn’t deserve Justin at all but you can’t tell your heart what to feel. “He wanted a family but it didn’t have to be a genetic one. He thought he had found that with you, Michael, Ben, Emmett, Debbie, and everyone else. Now he’s alone again. How’s that better for him? If you weren’t such a pussy and actually admitted you loved him then it might be easier to really do the right thing.” “I don’t…” “Yes, you do. Now all you have to do is admit it to him.” Brian was left utterly speechless, no comeback forthcoming. Hunter satisfied that he might have actually gotten through to the overgrown child, walked out the door and headed home. He had a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn’t need to be watching over Justin anymore. It’s time the two of them watched over each other. Hunter needed to take care of his own life now; maybe he could find his own Brian. He chuckled at the thought and hoped his Brian wouldn’t be such a dumbass. The next day, Justin opened his door to find an unexpected surprise. Brian stood nervously on the porch, shifting his weight between his two feet. “Do you have a second to talk?” Brian asked. Justin hesitated a moment before inviting him inside. Both of his parents were out running errands, so Justin was home alone. They sat down on opposite couches, both in silence. “Can I get you something to drink?” Justin offered politely. “No thank you. I just wanted to say something and then I’ll go.” Justin nodded and waiting patiently for Brian to begin. “OK, here it goes. I’m sorry for saying those things yesterday. None of it was true. I thought you’d be better off living with your parents and having a normal life. I’m a complete fuck up and you deserve so much more than that. But now I look in your beautiful red puffy eyes and I think that maybe I was wrong. Maybe you’d be better off if I let you decide what you want. Your dad said he could give you your life back, the one you had before he found out you were gay. You’d have your school, your friends, a nice dorm room on campus, everything you lost. All you have to do is never see me again. I’ll understand if you accept his proposal but you do have another choice.” “And what’s that Brian?” Justin practically whispered. “You could come live with me. I’ll loan you the money for school and you can be a part of my family. You already are.” “And if I accepted your proposal instead, would I be your new roommate? A friend sleeping on your couch? What is it you’re really asking me?” Brian looked away for a moment, unable to look Justin in the eyes. Gently Justin cupped his cheek and brought his eyes back to his own. They were both glistening with unshed tears. “You’d be my lover, my partner, the man I share both my bed and my life with,” Brian explained. Justin’s smile beamed back at him. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that since the day we met.” “Does that mean yes then, Sunshine” Brian asked with a smirk. “Oh yeah, that’s a definite yes.” Justin responded before crushing their lips together. They could hardly get enough of each other. Brian began to tug at Justin’s belt, when he suddenly pulled away. “Brian, wait, not here. Let’s grab my stuff and go home.” “Good idea, let’s go home.” Justin grabbed Brian’s hand and together they sprinted to his bedroom to pack. Justin couldn’t wait to finally be home.