Chapter 5 Hazel (reality) He breathes out and shakes slightly. Justin touches his stomach under the downy, dark-red duvets. He sorely rubs his lower abdomen while biting his lips. Justin looks blankly at the window’ curtains as they dance softly in the breeze. (memory, two months later) A bitter taste lingers in his mouth. Justin kneels over the toilet bowl and throws up. He pants, feeling another disgusting, sickening liquid come belching from his throat. His body and hands are shaking and his heart’s beating fast. He looks up, wipes his mouth with his sleeve, exhausted, and sits on the bathroom carpet. Daphne, his apartment roommate, has been sitting with him all morning to take care of her friend. She’s a waitress. She rubs his back in circular motion to calm him down, like she had been doing for the past few weeks during every morning when Justin had been sick. He rests his head on his raised knee, slowly trying to catch his breath. “Justin…” She says in an almost whispering tone. “Are you pregnant?” “Looks like it.” Justin tells her softly. He breathes in a shaking intake of air. Feeling both terrified and nervous as hell but at the same time he’s calm and mentally ready for this. “God…” He puts his face between his palms. “I’ll be there for you.” She tells him reassuringly. “Even when you’ll be annoying and irritating me. Don’t worry.” He let out a half-laugh, not sure whether to be happy or cry, and hugs her. “Thanks Daph.” “So, who’s the father?” She smiles sweetly. He huffs. “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later.” He smirks. “You don’t know him.” He touches his stomach with fear and excitement. (memory, seven months later) Justin is in a hospital. It’s the first time in his life. The floors are polished and cleaned with antiseptic. There are pale blue walls and an uncomfortable bed with stained off-white sheets. At first the contractions are not so severe. He can’t observe what’s going on around him. His heart palpitates in his chest. Another contraction, this time it hurts. Justin’s knuckles are turning white on the silver metal bedstead. A ghostly-white nurse comes to him. “Is your husband on his way Mr. Taylor?”She reads his information on a board, strapped to the bedstead. Justin Craig Taylor 21 years old in labor, due date September 19 time of print, 11:27pm Justin wonders why they have to ask question in such periods of pain. He doesn’t want to talk so all he does is shake his head, sweat drips down his forehead. The contractions are coming closer and more severe. The doctor comes in the delivery room; putting surgical gloves on as he hurries. Justin yelps. He has reached his second stage of labor. “Hold back.” The doctor says, he sits facing Justin’s wide open legs. You want me to hold back? You try to hold back fucker. The child tears his father’s flesh as it makes its way to life. It’s over. Justin feels sleepy and not yet completely alert. He can feel no pain. The nurse places the child on Justin’s diminished stomach. The cord is cut and the placenta comes away without Justin being aware. He can not take his eyes off the small body. He takes the child between his shaking hands. Justin can’t see the baby’s face; his eyes are too watery and stinging. “Is it okay?” Justin asks weakly in a shaky voice. All he can think about is if the baby is breathing properly or not. “Certainly,” The doctor says as he cleans his hands. “She’s fine. We just want to clean her and wait till her breathing gets a bit deeper.” She. The nurse takes Justin’s baby. “Let me see her.” Justin says as he props himself up on his elbows. He doesn’t take his eyes off of her as the nurse cleans the girl-child across the room. She puts her back in Justin’s arms. Justin holds his daughter. She’s still wet and very warm. Her miniature fists are clenched and her slightly slanted eyes are tightly closed. Her face is so pretty. She has fine straight, dark-brown hair that’s still damp. Her skin is pinkish tan. “God, she’s beautiful.” Justin sighs as tiny tears roll down his cheek. An hour has passed. Justin had been staring, without glancing away from his sleeping daughter. He couldn’t be happier. She is so small and fragile. He feels Daphne leaves her chair and calmly kneel down next to him but doesn’t see her. The door pushes open violently. Nikko and his darling wife barge into the recovery room. “We’re here!” He stops and looks at Justin holding his baby close. “Holy fuck!” They sit closer on the other side of Justin’s bed and watch in silence. “Hey Nick.” Justin smiles widely as they come in. “Hi Rachel.” he says softer. “You guys, this is Daphne.” He introduces her. “She’s my roommate.” They nod in her direction. Nikko leans over to look at the child closely. “Man, you have a baby.” Nikko says, unable to believe his eyes. “She’s adorable Justin.” Rachel says, her long light brown hair brushing his arm as she leans over to see her. “You gonna tell us about the father or do we have to wait?” Nikko asks. “Uh… I don’t know who the father is, Nick.” Justin lies, fearing how Nikko might react. Daphne looks at him. She frowns her brows together, knowing that Justin knows perfectly who the father is, but she wisely chooses to not question him further on the subject. “Oh, what’s her name?” Nikko asks. “Baby-girl. I haven’t chosen one yet.” Justin tells them softly. He caresses her chubby cheek with his index finger. Her now dry hair is silky and straight, very dark brown just like Brian. She stiffens her body as she wakens, her fists clenched tight. She slightly opens her eyes for the first time and looks straight into Justin’s blue eyes. Justin smiles, paralyzed. Her eyes are dark, hazel with hints of gold in them, just like Brian. “Hazel.” Justin says in a whisper. “What?” “That’s what I’ll call her, Hazel.” Justin bites his bottom lip. Hazel Kinney Taylor.