Brian "Um, I don't know, Jennifer. It's so..." So much like the Munchers' house I want to say, but I don't. Instead, I go for the second best, "The neighbourhood is so straight." She stares at me incredulously. Yeah, true. When did I ever reject a chance to scare off some breeders. But this is different. Somehow. I want a home where we can feel comfortable. And I know Justin and his WASPish upbringing. He would always hold back. "I know it's almost perfect, but I just... I want Justin to be really happy, and..." Jen nods, "It's too much like his home." And then she grins, "But at least I know you would go for a house like this. So come on and get in the car. We have places to be..." Sometimes Mother Taylor scares me. I mean, it's great that she picked up a few things, but she's turning into a second version of ... dare I say it ... Melanie. Tough, a little cranky at times, and set on driving me nuts. As if it isn't enough that I'm stranded in a fucking relationship. No. My mother-in-law has to make my life a living hell. Yes, I'm exaggerating – again. So sue me. We are driving to a more queer-friendly part of town where the wealthy fairies – and there are many in the Pitts – have taken over things. Jennifer stops her sad excuse for a car in front of... Shit! It's fucking great. Wouldn't do to let her see my excitement, though. I have a reputation to uphold here. Yeah, right. Like she can't see through my shit. Just like her son. Fuck it all. I put on my I'm-bored-out-of-my-mind mask, and listen to Jen's babbling. The house is amazing. It's like a mix of a Victorian mansion and a small cottage, and I'm getting the feeling that it was standing somewhere in England at some point. In a little, picturesque garden, with small hedges going all around the property. Damn. Justin's obsession with the Lord of the Rings movies in general, and the Shire in particular has rubbed off. He's been chatting away about rural Britain for weeks, and has even bought some books on the subject. Perversely, he used my credit card for it. Like he wanted to make some sort of point. What the fuck. "You see that this neighbourhood is pretty close to your nightly haunts," she winks, and I'm sure I somehow ended up in the Twilight Zone. "I think you need about fifteen to twenty minutes to Babylon or the diner, so not too much of a change there. And it's still close to Melanie and Lindsay's house. But the most important thing is that it's so much closer to P.I.F.A., so Justin won't have to go through half of the city anymore." Thought of everything already, haven't you, Jen? "Come in, come in." She practically drags me over the lawn and into the house. "As you can see, you have a small hall here, then there's the living room to your left, and a study to the right. The dining room and kitchen can be accessed through the living room or the hall. And there's a patio at the back of the house with a conservatory. I think it could be transformed into a studio pretty easily." Does she ever stop to breathe? "Upstairs," I'm being manhandled here and pushed up the stairs. "Upstairs you have the master bedroom right here to your right, overlooking the garden." We have a garden? Shit, we have a fucking pool! "Adjourning is the main bathroom. Oh, I forgot to mention the bathroom downstairs..." I repeat, what happened to breathing once in a while? "You have two more bedrooms, which share another, slightly smaller, bathroom." It really is perfect for our needs. Shit. "And there's a cellar beneath the house. You could use it as storage, or as a wine cellar..." She goes on, but I'm not really listening anymore. I think I'm having a small panic attack here. I'm actually doing this, aren't I? I'm trying to find a house for Justin and me, putting a final stop to life as I knew it. Am I ready for it? Two years ago, I didn't even realise that I loved the little shit, didn't want to realise it. And last year... I really wish I could turn back time. Go back to those days with the knowledge I have now... But I can't. However, I can do everything in my power to make him happy now. And wasn't that the thing I told him that evening when he was at the loft, cooking dinner for us? I want you to be happy, Justin. Even if you can't be happy with me. Since then I've learned that he is almost ecstatic when he's with me. And I am with him, aren't I? So why am I hesitating? This was my idea after all. Yeah, and it would be quite easy to back out of it. Jen is the only one I told about it all, so... But the truth is, I want this – I want to start a new life with him. Away from all the painful memories that are tied to the loft for all time. 'Stop analysing everything, Kinney, and go with what your heart tells you.' Right. Been doing that pretty often lately. Jen gives me a few minutes to explore the house, and when I enter the conservatory, my mind's made up. She was right, it would make for a perfect studio. And the study is next door, so we could work together... Now isn't that ridiculously romantic? And the living room has this small alcove where Gus and the new baby, and hell, also the Spawn and Molly could play. And the fireplace... I think we have to get the stereotypical bearskin rug or something equally inane. "So, what do you think?" I can see how anxious she is. I give her a curt smile. "I'm sure Justin would love it. If not for the house itself, then for what it symbolises." She sighs, "You know, he told me that he never felt quite at home at the loft, even though it's a long way from the fuck pad it once was." I smirk. She got that quite right. It was my tower away from reality, my hiding place, and yes, my fuck pad. "This house – or any other for that matter – it would get the message across to him, loud and clear." I have to turn away, because I feel my eyes moisten. Fuck. "It would be the final piece of evidence. Prove that you want him, and only him. And not just for the next few weeks, months, or even years." And I was wondering why he was so smart. Now I know... "It's forever, isn't it?" Is it? I nod before I even realise it, and she smiles and fucking hugs me. And I return the embrace! So after some bonding time – and this is just too scary – I draw back, and force my nonchalant mask back into place. "Just so you know, I'm not selling the loft." She smiles. "I actually thought Justin could use it as his primary studio, you know? It's got the light and everything... And anyway, it is closer to Babylon. So we can crash there if we need to." She nods, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say she's bouncing. But Jennifer Taylor wouldn't do such a thing, would she? No! And now I recognise the predicament I've landed myself in. It's not even Christmas yet, and I wanted this house to be Justin's birthday present. But I can't wait two more months. I just can't! Fuck. Well, there's always that trip to London... Which was to be the Christmas present, but it can be postponed. The house is more important. "If it were up to me, I'd say we'll take it. But I have to talk things over with Justin first." Why the fuck is she beaming at me right now? Oh yeah, right. Because I'm including Justin in my decisions. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'd even go as far as saying Shit, fuck, and goddammit! Cause I've really turned into a fucking hetero-husband-wannabe. And we haven't even exchanged rings yet. --- Justin "He can't do that!" I don't want to believe my ears. It's just too fucking ridiculous! "On what grounds? Huh? That law dates from the days of the first settlers for fuck's sake!" Stockwell must be getting a little panicky here – with only two months until election day, and polls that are anything but in his favour... "Besides, who does he think he's going to impress with this? Huh?" Ben mumbles something about law-abiding citizens, and I feel ready to puke. "What? And we are all criminals? Fuck! We are paying our taxes like any other person, aren't we? And speaking of criminals – if it were up to Stockwell, any crime against a gay member of our jolly community would go unpunished. Homophobic asshole." Emmett pats my shoulder, and even Ted gives me the thumbs-up. "It's only a question of time until the backroom at Babylon will be closed as well." Mikey makes a face, and I just hope that he won't be proven right. That would be really shitty, cause sometimes the loft is just too far away for Bri and me. "Something's to be done." Is Ben actually nodding? Shit! "And did you know that he chased the hustlers off Liberty? And guess where they are hanging around now? In front of our goddamn apartment block." Ah, now I get it. "There was one sleeping on our stairs this morning, can you believe it?" Mikey's glaring daggers at Ben. "And my beloved partner wanted to help the little fucker..." Uh-oh. Do I detect a note of trouble in paradise? "He's just a kid, Michael. And ... shit! He was offering to do it raw! Can you believe it?" Okay, this is a touchy subject for Ben, understandably. And one that Mikey chooses to ignore most of the time. "I mean, he can't be older than sixteen, and God knows what he's been through already." The Professor sighs, "And he won't even listen. Thinks that life on the streets is better than the system." Mikey rolls his eyes. He's not a bad person, no. But if he doesn't have to get involved in something, he doesn't. Period. Ben is different, though. Buddhist teaching has turned him into a philanthropist extra ordinaire. Which means they just have to clash as far as that hustler is concerned. Deb comes up to our booth to get our orders, and apparently she also met the hustler. "How's that kid you brought in this morning?" Mikey glowers and tells his mom that as far as he's concerned, the boy is history. I can see that Ben doesn't share his opinion. Shit. I think I have to have a chat with my business partner, or else he might screw up big time. And not only as far as his lover is concerned. Debbie looks quite angry. "So, what'cha having, boys?" As she takes our orders, she pointedly ignores her son. Great, just great. Festive spirit indeed. Fuck! An hour later, I'm at the comic book store, having that little conversation with Mikey. "I understand you just fine, Michael. But you have to accept Ben's point of view as well. Or else..." I take a deep breath. "You know how much I appreciate everything you did for Bri and me, don't you?" He smiles and nods. "And that told me that you are a good person at heart. Only ... for some reason you choose to not show it in times like these. If Ben wants to help that hustler ... just ... I don't know, try to support him." Mikey gazes at me as if I lost my mind. "I'm serious, Mikey! We both know that he won't drop this just like that. So... Stand by his side, and watch out for him." "And when did you get so clever, huh?" He runs his hand through his hair. "Alright, alright. I'll try to be a little less confrontational, okay? But beyond that, I really can't make any promises." He huffs in a very Brian-ish way. "And yeah, I guess you're right. I should try to be more understanding. There are things that Ben perceives differently, I know that. It's just..." He catches my eyes, and I can see the pain in them. "I really don't want to think about it too much. I mean, after all the shit with Uncle Vic... I don't want to lose Ben." I hug him, and tell him that everything will somehow work out. And I do believe that. But something really has to be done about that fucking asshole Stockwell! Maybe I should do a little brainstorming with Brian when he gets back from his trip with Mom. And they still won't tell me what that is all about. Shit! When I get to the loft, Bri's already there, grinning like a madman. Okay, something's up, and I'm not referring to our cocks here – that goes without saying. Especially after we share a kiss like we just did. He was trying to suck all air out of my lungs, and fuck, I'm so hard that I almost forget what I wanted to talk to him about. Then again, Stockwell isn't going to disappear, so... I fall back on the sofa, drawing him on top of me. He smirks, "Great minds think alike... Get out of those clothes, Taylor. My dick is aching and needs that special treatment only you can give it." His eyes are twinkling, and if I didn't love him already, I'd fall for him right here and now. "You mean that special sheathing technique?" He nods. "Oh, I think that could be arranged." I wink. "Why don't you get the, um ... necessary equipment to prepare me for curing you?" He gets up to grab the new lube he bought just last week – somehow we managed to run out of it, and I'm really clueless how that happened. When he returns, I'm naked and waiting. "Allow me," I take the lube, and begin to get myself ready. He's kneeling between my spread legs, obviously enjoying the show. "Like what you see, Mr Kinney?" Brian seems to be beyond coherent talk already and just growls. And then he pushes into me, and I'm getting this feeling once again. It's like this is our purest way of communication – no words are required because our bodies say it all. Of course, when he whispers, "I love you," everything gets even better. I'm not fooling myself on that count. I've grown addicted to hearing those words. And he knows it. He's fully embedded in my ass now, and leans in to kiss me within an inch of my life while he starts to fuck me, slowly and gently. Okay, scratch the fuck. He's making love to me. And I never felt more cherished and loved than I do right now. Every time we're together feels like our first time. Like he's taking my virginity again and again. And in a way, he does. He's slowly speeding up his strokes, and one of his hands comes up and around my cock to jerk me off. But he never breaks the contact of our lips. Fuck, I'm suffocating here. And I don't even care. Bri realises my little problem – probably experiencing quite the same thing – and breaks away. While I'm catching my breath, he's planting butterfly kisses all over my face, and I'm gasping at the intensity of it all. "Gods, Bri..." I was right when I told Daphne that I had seen the face of God... And his name is Brian Kinney. It sounded so silly back then. I had no clue how right I was. "Need more, Bri. Please..." I want to come. And I want to feel him come undone within me. He doesn't catch the smirk on my lips, so it comes as a surprise to him when I squeeze down on his lovely dick. "Fuck!" Yup, you got it. His thrusts are hard and fast now, and he always hits my prostate with an accuracy that still amazes me. I can feel my orgasm building, and cry out when it finally hits, arching almost completely off the sofa. He moans, and I know that it'll soon be over for him as well. And then I feel him shudder, and he falls apart with a mighty groan. He drops down on top of me, and I almost prefer this moment of post-coital bliss to the actual sex. Almost. "That was amazing... You were amazing." Okay, I think I'm delusional. Did Brian Kinney just call me amazing? I stare at him inquisitively, and he smirks, "What's wrong, Sunshine? Can't accept a compliment?" I'm swatting him over the head, and that's that. "You seem awfully cheerful today. What were you and Mom up to, huh? Curiosity killed the cat, you know?" Lucky that I'm no cat. But I still want to know what's going on. Bri just smirks as he draws out, and for a moment I'm grieving the loss of his cock. He conjures up a wet cloth from somewhere, and cleans me up before I can do unspeakable things to the sofa. Like drip all over it. Gods, I love it when he pampers me, though I'd never call it that in front of him. Oh no. I'm not suicidal. Once we're sorted and everything, I repeat my question. "So... What the fuck is going on?" He arches an eyebrow. "Oh, I just figured that it's time I removed your clothes from my wardrobe again..." What?! He's breaking up with me? Was this a goodbye-fuck for him? No, that's impossible. 'Think, Taylor. Think!' I am thinking, fuck it. He doesn't even realise what abyss he just pushed me into, cause he's studying his hands. "And since my stuff would get lonely, it will join yours... In our new house..." Okay, I better commit myself. Cause I sure as hell am hearing things! Our new house? He wouldn't say such a thing in a million years. Or would he? He gazes at me intently, and I'm shocked at the raw fear I see in those expressive hazel orbs. "I ... I know it's a little sudden, but... I thought that we should maybe relocate. You know, now that Gus is staying with us more often and with our growing family..." Shit! He's serious. "We ... we don't have to move if you don't want to. But could you at least take a look at the house? It would be..." He's so sweet when he gets all insecure. I just have to shut him up. So I lean in and place a soft kiss on his lips. "I'd love to, Brian. I don't give a shit where we live, as long as we're together." Holy fucking Christ. Did I really just say that? And he didn't throttle me? Gee! This is truly frightening. And so thrilling at the same time. Stockwell and his machinations are forgotten, and all I can think about is this new house Mom and Brian have picked for us. "So, when can we have a look at it? Can we go now?" Bri actually sags with relief. Did he really think I'd turn him down? What the fuck is going on in that thick head of his. One can only wonder... "My dearest mother-in-law left the keys with me, so we can go any time you want." He kisses my cheek, and whispers, "Lets throw something on, and then I'll take you there." I give him a Sunshine smile and nod vigorously. I can hardly wait. About forty minutes later, I'm standing in what seems to be a conservatory of sorts, and Brian tells me that this would be my studio. Shit. It would be perfect. Lots of light, tiles on the floor – so any spilled colour can be wiped away easily. It's almost too good to be true. And the rest of the house is just – stunning. There's no other word for it. When I see the dining room I can't help but snicker, "You do understand that from now on the family dinner will be here, right? I mean, Deb's table is a little small when everyone comes to visit." His eyes grow as large as saucers – he didn't think of that. "And the kitchen's larger, too. Even Em and Vic wouldn't find anything to complain about." He looks positively disgusted now, and whines – I swear, Brian Fucking Kinney is whining! "I'm going to have nightmares now. Thank you so much, you little shit!" He turns and storms off. I run after him and catch him just outside. He gives me a weak smile. "So, can I tell your Mom that we'll take it?" I nod, and throw my arms around him. "Hold it, Taylor. Remember, the old injury..." That earns him another swat to the back of his head. Asshole. He gives me his tongue-in-cheek, and I crack up. It's just too funny. "Okay, I'm calling Kathleen. You're acting very odd today. It's almost as if you've been bitten by a Christmas elf..." And that would be bad – why? He takes my hand, and leads me back to the jeep. "Maybe we can make the move before Christmas, what do you think? Cause you're right. Even if it's just the usual crowd, Deb's home is getting a little small. And now that Claire and the Spawn, your Mom and Molly, and Kat and Mr De Valera are joining us..." He's driving our dearest doctors crazy with those names. When he catches Kathy, he's always asking about Petruchio, and when Eamon is around, he starts with this IRA talk. The old IRA. Fucking show-off. Though it is kinda funny to watch Mikey staring at us completely clueless. Though that would be different if Shakespeare had written comics, I'm sure of it. --- Brian I'm so thrilled. But no, I'm not bouncing. Not at all. Oh, alright. Maybe a little bit. Jen has just brought the papers over, and Mel is taking a look at them right now. They ought to be fine, but we have a lawyer in the family, so... She grabs my hand and places it on her belly, smiling at me. "My, my... Are you sure this is Sunshine's kid? Sure feels like a future soccer player to me." She growls at me, but keeps on grinning. We are alone right now, so we both dropped the banter to the minimum. I'm really happy to say that we've grown closer. After all the stuff with the pregnancy, the Munchers have become an important part of our lives, and Mel seems to have eased up a little. Which made it okay for me to do the same. Oh, I know that this is all Linz' and Justin's doing, but I don't care. However, if they think we are going to hug and kiss each other when everyone is hanging around, they are sadly fucking mistaken. Not going to happen. Ever! I still have some vestiges of pride here. The rest has drowned in sheer happiness. Help me, Kathy, for I'm in deep shit trouble here. I'm actually sounding like a nice person. I shudder at that. I'm Brian Fucking Kinney, and I don't do nice. Under no circumstances. Not even if a certain blond twink bats his lashes at me and puts on that kicked puppy look. Fuck! I did mention that I was completely and utterly screwed here, right? Good. "Isn't it amazing? In less than two months I'm going to be a mother. And you will be the evil stepfather. Bet you're looking forward to that immensely." She's no idea. "Oh, that reminds me. Father Tom called and asked that we inform him immediately when the baby's born. He wants to do the christening and everything as soon as possible." I still can't believe that she's agreed to that. It means that the child will never be able to be raised as a proper little Jew. "And don't flatter yourself. I'm not doing this for you. I simply want Justin to be a constant part of our child's life, and since you two seem to be glued together at the hip these days..." Sure. That's very believable. And when did Mel learn how to read minds? "Anyway, the papers are just fine. Only… Are you sure you can afford the house and the loft?" I give her my stay-the-fuck-out-of-this look, and she shrugs. "Fair enough. Was just asking. Cause 300 grant is quite a lot of money, but if you think you can handle it..." I tell her that I'm a fucking partner at Vanguard, complete with profit sharing and the like. So yes, I think I can manage. Even when Justin's set on eating me into the poorhouse. That makes her snicker, "Well, I sure as hell hope the baby doesn't follow his steps on that count." Oh, you never know, Mel, you never know. "So I can sign, yes?" She nods. "Alright then. I think I'm going to have to take an extended vacation. There's things to be packed, and furniture to be bought." But this time, it won't be designer-only. And there certainly won't be another white sofa. Not with Gus around. Justin's going to take care of the interior design, and Linz is going to lend him a hand. Well, we have a grand total of two weeks to get everything done for the Holidays, so we better get started. And then there's this other little project. At first, I wasn't too interested in doing anything about Stockwell. I mean, I'm doing Deekins campaign, that should be enough, right? But when we went to Babylon Sunday night, and the backroom was locked up, I changed my mind. Justin's still at Vanguard, copying the poster he's been working on. We'll go on a little poster-spree tonight. I think I had a mild heart attack when Gardner walked into my office this evening, and Justin was just presenting the prototype of the Heil to the Chief poster to me. But he just chuckled and told us not to get caught. We are truly living in scary times, boys and girls.