Sorry for my disappearing act once again. Thanks to my betas. Justin is missing Brian like crazy.
“Then they wanted to have a funeral but we refused,” Molly said. Jennifer nodded as she related the events that had happened while he was gone. “Molly,” Jennifer said. “I think your brother wants to rest.” Justin smiled at them. “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” “You look good,” Craig commented. “I’m so happy that you’re okay.” “He cried,” Molly whispered as she leaned forward. Justin took a deep breath and looked at his parents. “I missed you guys so much. You have no idea.” “What happened?” Jennifer asked. “Can I talk about it some other time?” Justin asked. “I’m tired,” he lied. The truth was that he didn’t know what he was going to say. He didn’t want to get Brian into trouble. “Okay,” Molly hugged Justin tightly for a few seconds. “I’ll talk to you in the morning.” Justin kissed her goodnight and nodded. Jennifer came next and hugged him as well. Craig watched them go and stayed in the room. “So,” Craig said. Justin swallowed. “It was...” Craig walked to the bed and sat next to his kid. “Are you okay?” Justin nodded and his eyes watered. “I was gone for so long.” “I know,” Craig put an arm around Justin’s shoulders. “I missed it here, so much,” Justin confessed. “Sometimes I thought I would never come back.” Craig hugged. “I thought you were dead, part of me at least believed you were gone forever.” Justin held on tighter. “I’m sorry.” “What happened?” Craig asked. “I...” Justin said but shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Please, not now.” Craig sighed and nodded. “I’m happy you’re home. Everything else we will work through Justin. Do you hear me?” Justin nodded. “This past year has taught me something very important,” Craig informed him. “Oh,” Justin muttered. “I love you, no matter what,” Craig said. Justin smiled widely. “Well, at least after all this we made some progress and something good can come from it.” Craig chuckled with his kid. “I don’t even want to go to bed right now.” “I know,” Justin said. “I’ll be here in the morning. Promise.” Craig smiled and nodded. He got up and squeezed Justin’s shoulder. “Night.” Justin nodded and watched the man go. He got up and closed his door. He looked around his room and could tell that his mother had never stopped cleaning it. They were always hoping he would come back. He couldn’t believe that they had looked eight months for them, even after everyone said that they were dead by then. They had told them they had to stop because it was too hard always coming up with nothing. His parents had said that they prayed everyday that wherever he was they hoped he was okay. His line started ringing and he looked at the phone like it was an alien device from another place and planet. He walked to it and picked it up. “Hello?” “Justin,” Daphne said. “I can’t do this.” “Daphne?” Justin sat on the bed and frowned. “Where are you?” “At my house but I can’t,” she told him. “I’m going nuts. I need to go back.” “God,” Justin groaned. “You have completely lost it.” “Tell me you don’t miss it,” Daphne dared him. “I don’t,” Justin snapped. “Fuck you!” Daphne hissed and hung up. “Psycho,” Justin muttered as he looked at the phone. He shook his head and called Emmett. “Hi,” Emmett said. “Hey, Em,” Justin said. “Daphne is losing it.” “I know,” Emmett answered. Justin sighed. “It will be okay, honey. She’s just really missing James,” Emmett said. “I’ll see what I can do.” “What do you mean?” Justin asked. “Maybe Drew can tell me of radio frequency they might use. Then we can buy Daphne a radio and she can talk all she wants with James,” Emmett explained. “Oh,” Justin whispered. “How about you?” Emmett asked. “Are you okay?” “I couldn’t be better,” Justin assured him. “I have to go to bed. Bye,” he said and hung up. Justin sighed as he sat in the dark. He felt a tear slip out and he cleaned it quickly. He was okay, he wasn’t missing Brian and he definitely wasn’t feeling alone or so he tried to tell himself. But now he knew what he was doing, he was living in denial. *** Justin walked to the dinner hoping to see Emmett. They had said they would have lunch together. It had been three months since he was back home and things were getting back to normal. The three of them had gotten together and decided to say that they were in a storm and the ship was wrecked. They said that they were living on an island where there wasn’t anyone until someone came by and they got a ride back home. It sounded crazy enough for people to believe it. The blond was happy that the entire news reporters were slowly going back from wherever they had popped up from. He was happy that soon he would be starting PIFA and his life was back on track. The fact that he was missing Brian like crazy was something he pushed far away into the back of his mind. “Justin!” Chance said. “Chance,” Justin whispered a bit shocked. “Wow. I...wow.” “Who are you?” Jake asked. “Justin,” he answered. “Who are you?” “Jake,” the guy answered. “Do I know you?” Justin shook his head and looked at Chance who was looking kind of pale. “How have you been?” “Good,” Chance said. “I just got back to town and heard that you had come back.” Justin nodded. “He was your old boyfriend?” Jake asked. “The one that everyone thought was dead?” “That’s me,” Justin replied. “We’ll I’m Chance’s new boyfriend,” Jake announced. Justin nodded slowly as he licked his lips. “Shut the fuck up,” Chance said angry as he looked at Jake. Jake frowned and arched a brow. “Excuse me.” Chance swallowed. “Justin,” he said turning to look at the blond. “I’m not here to start where we left off,” Justin said and looked at Jake. “I’m happy for you guys, seriously.” Jake was scared that he was going to lose Chance now. “What do you want then?” “Shut up, Jake,” Chance said. “This is a diner,” Justin pointed out. “I came to get dinner.” “Oh,” Jake muttered. “Wow,” Chance said and moved closer to the blond. He hugged him. “I’m happy that you’re okay.” Justin returned the hug. Then they pulled away from each other. “Yeah, man,” Jake said putting his hand on Justin’s shoulder. “I read what the papers said. I’m amazed that you guys came back looking so good. I would have freaking died.” “I don’t think so,” Justin said. “Everyone just keeps going. You do anything to keep alive.” “I guess,” Jake replied. “So,” Chance started. “We should get together sometime. I think we have a lot of catching up to do.” “You guys can drop by,” Justin said. He wasn’t ready to face Chance alone. “I’m pretty much always at home. Except when I go to school but I always get back before six in the evening. And I barely go out at nights.” “That would be cool,” Jake answered. “Yeah,” Chance whispered. He couldn’t take his eyes away from the blond. “Justin,” Emmett said coming into the dinner. “Hey, wow, Chance.” Chance gave Emmett a hug and told him he was happy to see him. “We have to go,” Jake told them. “We have to go get my brother.” “Yeah,” Chance said. “I’ll see you,” Justin answered. Emmett and Justin sat on a booth and stayed quiet for a few seconds. Emmett was the first to talk or he was going to explode. “He moved on,” Emmett said. “What did you expected?” Justin asked. “I don’t know,” Emmett answered honestly. “Wow.” “It’s no big deal,” Justin said. “Everyone moves on.” “Right,” Emmett agreed with the blond. But he knew better. He knew that Justin wouldn’t be moving on so quickly if ever judging by Justin’s appearance at the moment. *** Daphne pouted as Justin busied himself in finding a shirt. Justin was looking at a blue one when he looked up at Daphne to ask her what she thought. He stopped in his tracks and frowned. “What are you thinking about?” Justin asked seeing Daphne’s expression. “I want James to come back for me,” Daphne told him. “Or I can find him myself.” “What?” Justin asked. “What the fuck are you talking about?” “I’m talking about going to find them,” Daphne told him. “You have gone nuts,” Justin told her as he put the shirt away. “Are you nuts?” Daphne sighed. “I miss James so much.” “Jesus fuck,” Justin hissed. “Who understands you?!” “What?” Daphne asked. “What the fuck are you talking about?” “Why did you leave him then?” Justin asked. “I didn’t,” Daphne shouted. “I was dragged away from him!” Justin stayed quiet and looked at the floor. He on the other hand had left willingly. He felt bad for what he had done now because he did miss Brian with all his heart. “I have to go,” Daphne told him. Justin watched her and didn’t have the strength to go after her. He didn’t know what he was going to tell her. He grabbed his cell phone and took it out. “Yeah?” Emmett asked. “Where are you?” Justin asked. “I haven’t seen you in a few days.” “I’m busy,” Emmett said slowly. “Who are you talking to?” Someone asked from the back. Justin frowned. “Who is that?” “No one,” Emmett told him quickly. “I have to go. I’ll call you later. I’ll be home tonight. I’ll give you a call and you can come over. Bye!” Justin frowned and started at his cell phone as if he would get an answer. He was about to put it away when he received a call from Chance. “Justin?” Chance asked. “Yeah,” Justin answered. “I was wondering if you wanted to come by,” Chance told him. “We’re going to watch a few movies.” “Umm,” Justin sighed. “Okay.” “Great,” Chance said happily. “I’ll be waiting for you.” Justin closed his cell and got out of the store. He went to his car. Thank god that Daphne and him came in their separate cars or he would have been left behind. When he arrived at Chance’s house he parked and went to knock at the door. “Hey, come on in,” Chance said smiling. “I was cooking something up. Are you hungry?” “Not really,” Justin answered. He was thinking about too many things at once to have an appetite. “That’s okay,” Chance told him. “Maybe later.” Justin nodded slowly. “So, how’s school?” Chance asked him. “It’s going great. I love it,” Justin said smiling happily. “I like it there. They teach me something new and exciting each time.” “Great,” Chance went into the kitchen. Justin followed him. “Do you want something to drink?” Chance asked. “No,” Justin said and looked around. “Where’s Jake?” “He’s working,” Chance told him. “Oh,” Justin said. “Look, maybe I should go.” “Hey,” Chance walked towards Justin. “Why?” Justin frowned. Chance caressed Justin’s face. “Do you still have feelings for me? Are you scared of being alone with me?” Justin didn’t answers. He really didn’t know how he felt. Chance leaned forward and kissed the blond. Justin wrapped his arms around the man and kissed him back. For a moment he could pretend it was Brian. Chance pushed them against a wall and took Justin’s shirt off. “Jus,” Chance moaned and licked Justin’s neck. Justin groaned with pleasure. “Do you like it?” Chance asked. Justin didn’t answer. He felt Chance’s cock rubbing against his leg. He closed his eyes and wondered what the fuck he was doing. He had to stop. “Chance.” “Justin,” Chance whispered. “No,” Justin said pulling away. “I can’t.” Chance frowned. “What?” he asked confused. “I can’t,” Justin said turning around. His jeans were riding low and half of his tattoo was showing. “Justin!” Chance hissed. “What the fuck is that on your back?” he walked closer so he could see it better. He put a hand on Justin’s left hip and with the other he lowered the pants a bit more. Justin turned around slowly to look at his ex. “It doesn’t matter.” “What happened to you, Justin?” Chance asked with his heart breaking. Justin shook his head. “It’s nothing.” “Who the fuck is Kinney?” Chance asked angry. Justin closed his eyes. “He’s the man...” “What did he do to you?” Chance asked. “He’s the man I love,” Justin answered. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Chance asked. “What is going on?” Jake asked entering the house. “What the fuck are you two doing?” “What are you doing here?” Chance asked. “We had to leave early because we got robbed,” Jake answer. “What?” Justin asked. “Are you okay?” Chance asked almost running to Jake. He grabbed the guy’s face and looked directly into his eyes. Jake smiled and nodded. “It’s okay. We gave the guy all the money and he left quickly. Now back to you two.” “He was showing me his tattoo,” Chance said quickly. “Let me see it,” Jake said. Justin turned back and showed him. “Who the fuck is Kinney?” Jake asked. “It’s a long story and I should go,” Justin said grabbing his shirt from the floor and putting on. Chance bit his lower lip. “What did he do to you, Justin?” “Nothing!” Justin hissed. Jake frowned. “Oh my god. What happened to you?” Justin shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand.” “Did someone rape you?” Chance asked. “No,” Justin said. “I wanted him. But it’s complicated.” “I’m not going anywhere,” Jake offered. Justin sighed. “Tell us,” Chance demanded. Justin for some reason did. They sat in the living room while Justin told them the whole truth and when he was done he felt ten times better. It was all out and he wasn’t hiding it anymore, at least not with them. “Wow,” Jake whispered. “That’s some story.” “Well, it happened,” Justin said. Chance got up from where they were sitting and shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Justin.” “It’s not your fault,” Justin assured him. “God, he practically raped you,” Chance told him. “It wasn’t like that,” Justin said. “I wanted him from the beginning. And he saved me from a fate worse than death.” “At what price?” Chance asked mad. Jake sighed and didn’t say anything. Justin got up. “You don’t know anything,” he spat out. He didn’t know what else to say. How could he explain his feelings when he was so confused still? Chance and Jake would never understand because they weren’t there. Only Daphne and Emmett knew firsthand how it had been like being on the yacht. “I love him!” Justin suddenly shouted. “You’re confused!” Chance said. “I’m not going to talk about this any longer,” Justin whispered. “This is my entire fault,” Chance told them. “I should have gone on the trip with you, when you asked me too.” “You would have been sold or killed or god knows what else,” Justin said. Chance sighed. “No offense, but you wouldn’t have met me if you left with Justin,” Jake pointed out. Justin chuckled. “You’re special Jake. I swear to god you are.” Jake blushed and shrugged. “I’m just saying.” Chance shook his head. Justin laughed and looked at his watch. “I have to go guys,” Justin said sighing. He felt somewhat better having talked to them. “Say hello to your mom for me.” Chance nodded. “Bye Justin,” Jake called out. Justin nodded and left. He had someone else to meet now. *** Emmett got out of the car and waved goodbye. He had a smile from ear to ear. He started walking to his house when he almost had a heart attack. “Hi,” Justin said. “Justin!” Emmett yelled. “I’m not deaf, you know,” Justin told him. “You scared me,” Emmett replied. “What naughty thing were you doing?” Justin asked grinning. “I was going to call you,” Emmett pointed out. “I decided to come and surprise you,” Justin said. “Mmm,” Emmett muttered. “Wasn’t that Drew?” Justin asked. Emmett frowned. “Uh, what do you mean? He lives in the sea.” “Wow,” Justin said and laughed. “Let’s see. You ask me a question back and tell me something that is true but which doesn’t answer my original question. Nice dodging but it’s not going to work. Hate to tell you Em but you were never a good liar.” Emmett sighed. “Justin.” “Was that him?” Justin asked again. “Yes,” Emmett answered. He wrapped his arms around himself. “I love him.” “Wow,” Justin said. “I wasn’t expecting that.” “What were you expecting?” Emmett asked raising a brow. “I don’t know,” Justin answered. “But not that.” “The night is cold,” Emmett said. “Winter is almost here.” “Yeah,” Justin agreed. “Let’s go inside,” Emmett suggested. “Okay,” Justin answered as he followed his friend. Emmett and Justin walked to the kitchen and decided to make hot chocolates. They smiled at each other as they prepared them in silence. It was a habit they had when the weather was cold. After that they went to Emmett’s room. “Where are your parents?” Justin asked. “Not here,” Emmett said. “So,” Justin whispered as he sat down on the bed. “How long has this been going on?” “He contacted me a few days ago,” Emmett answered. “When we were on the ship we were together.” “Wow,” Justin said. “It was amazing. I loved every minute of it,” Emmett related. “I wanted to tell you but I don’t know why I didn’t.” Justin shrugged. “It’s okay. You’re telling me now.” “But because you caught me,” Emmett pointed out. “You could have pleaded the fifth,” Justin said grinning. They laughed. “So?” Justin asked taking a sip of his chocolate. “So, he called me,” Emmett replied. “I left him my number but I never thought he would call me ever.” Justin smiled and then frowned. “What?” Emmett asked. “I miss him so much,” Justin said and swallowed hard. He got up and put the cup on the dresser. He looked at himself in the mirror and his shoulders shook. “Jus,” Emmett whispered and was there, next to his friend, in a heart beat. “Daphne is falling apart and I’m trying to pretend like I’m okay but it’s not easy,” Justin confessed. Emmett rubbed Justin’s back. “I want to go back,” Justin said. “What?” Emmett asked. “I want to be with Brian and you have to help me,” Justin announced. “Uh,” Emmett took a few steps back. “But Justin...” “I don’t want to hear anything you have say,” Justin told him. “I know all the reasons why I should stay but I can’t stay here anymore. This is no longer my home. Nobody needs me here, everyone has moved on. And the truth is that it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but the fact that I miss Brian. I need him and I hope he needs me. I hope he forgives me and takes me back but I can’t think of that now. I have to see him or die trying. I’ll think of an excuse of why I’m disappearing later on. But you have to help me now.” “Drew is coming back for Christmas,” Emmett said. “Shit,” Justin said. “I don’t know if I can wait that long.” Emmett bit his lower lip. “Okay fine,” Justin agreed. “Should I call Daphne?” Emmett asked. “No,” Justin said. “No?” Emmett asked. “Aren’t you being a bit selfish?” “That’s no place for Daphne,” Justin told her. “And before you say anything, If James loves her he would come to her, don’t you think?” “Oh god,” Emmett said. “You already have one of your plans built in that little head of yours don’t you?” Justin only grinned. “Oh,” Emmett said as he smiled. “I wanted to say now before my chance got away that for the record I knew that you were heels over head for Brian.” “Oh shut up,” Justin yelled. Emmett laughed knowing that he knew his friend pretty well.