Hello everyone I just hope you enjoy this. I am very new to all of this so I really don't know what I am doing : ) Do I ever? This is my first time doing this so if I do anything wrong or write anything wrong tell me so.
The first couple of times didn't meant shit to me. Okay, maybe that's a lie. They meant something. They meant a lot to me. The thing is that I didn't want it to happen in the first place but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to care for him. I didn't want to but that's what I ended up doing. I thought that I was going to be strong enough to resist him. That I would get away from those baby blue eyes looking at me so intensely. That I was going to be able to resist touching that soft blonde hair. How wrong was I? I love everything about him. I love every inch of his body from top to bottom. Specially, his smooth pale skin and that hot ass. Damn it. I'm thinking about it right now. Because of him my life changed. I was looking for him everywhere and at first I didn't even realized it. Then when I did I was mad with myself and then it all became a futile attempt to keep myself in control. I failed and how badly did I. I started looking for him everywhere and each opportunity I had I grabbed it. I would take him back with me to the loft and fuck the consequences. Then I would be at the diner or at Debbie's or wherever we were and we would kiss. No, that's a lie. I would kiss him because he still was too scared to kiss me just because, in front of my friends. I love kissing him so much. Those full pink lips. God, I'm so horny. I love to stick my tongue inside his mouth and make him shake and moan. I love to taste him. Okay, stopping these thoughts before I explode. I tried keeping the kisses lock inside myself. But shit I just couldn't. I swear to god that those lips would call my name. "Hey." Justin says smiling. I smile at him and kiss him. I swear to god that someone has been using black magic against me. He pulls away smiling at me then nods towards Debbie. He doesn't want to get caught again. Debbie starts screaming that he isn’t doing his work by being here with me. I kiss him quickly again and let him go. Sometimes I wish he would go away so I wouldn't feel like this. But I know that if he leaves me I would be devastated. I would so run after him. Funny, I remember telling Mikey not to ever go after anyone. God, I went after him and I would do it again if I had to. Shit. I care for him a lot. I'll admit that much. He comes to refill my cup and smiles at me. His face is so close and I can't help myself. I kiss him again. I get so lost when I am kissing him. The world just disappears and there is nothing but him and me. I wish I could take him with me and never let him go. "What has gotten into you?" "What do you mean?" I ask him. He just gives me this weird look before he smiles and shakes his head. I look around and people are watching me. Fuck. Fuck them. I don't care. Shit, I better leave. I have to be strong. I'm going to be strong. Fuck, I know my mind could do it. But who is going to explain it to my heart that I won’t see Justin again. I mean, he is going to ache for the blonde. Even since he came into my life it’s been a never ending battle between my heart and my mind. God, I am a free man and I am not going to give that up says my mind. I won't give that up for him. I am stronger that whatever the fuck this kid is doing to me. I am reaching for my wallet when he walks back to me. "Shouldn't you be at work?" I smile at him and caress his face. I am so close of just tearing my hair from my head and running for the hills. He is so beautiful. I kiss him and my heart is content. I know that he is winning my heart little by little. When that happens I won't be a free man anymore. I just know it. This kid is just so much. He is just too much for me and yet...he is just what I need. "I'll see you tonight." He whispers this time before he leaves. Fuck, what a little shit. I throw a couple of bills in the counter and get up. I am going to go to work and then come back and go to Babylon and forget about what he just said. Shit, what a fucking liar. I'm going to come back home and wait for him. How fucking pathetic is that? Fuck, I really didn't want to fall in love with him.