IN SHADOW'S EYES AN: I know there have been a spate of blind fics over the last year, so here's another one. This idea came from a book I read many years ago. I can't remember the author. It involves futuristic medical treatments that probably somebody is really working on, knowing those research scientists and how their minds work. I hope everyone enjoys. ------------------------------------------ Brian reached over to turn off the alarm clock before it even rang, his internal alarm clock telling him exactly what time it was. He had picked out his wardrobe the night before, laying it neatly over the chair at the end of the bed. He felt the crude braille tags to make sure he had what he wanted and slipped on the just-worn-right jeans and shirt. He walked into the bathroom and felt in front of him for the medicine chest, his hand landing on the mirror. Well, that certainly is no longer needed, he thought to himself. He opened the medicine chest and grabbed his now electric razor -- no more lovely straight razor shaves for him. He ran a brush through is hair, cut short out of practicality. No more fussing for that just-fucked look that took so long to make it look so messy. In the kitchen he emptied his box of Corn Flakes into a bowl and poured himself a glass of guava juice. He had never really been much of a cook, but being blind made it even more imparative that he kept to simple foods. No use burning yourself on the stove. As he faced the kitchen windows of the cabin, he felt the warmth on his face. By that he knew the sun was out, and it was going to be a nice morning. Instictively he found himself squinting, as if he had to shield his eyes from the glare off of the lake. Well, old habits die hard, even after six months. After eating, he ran his dishes through some warm water, dried them, and put them back in the cupboard. Being blind had certainly simplified his life, not to mention his furniture. Gone was the loft with the expensive Italian leather furniture, the Barcelona chair. Now he had simple furniture with wide open spaces, in this cabin he had deciced to call home, so that nothing obstructed him as he walked. Sometimes he would imagine that if people stayed far enough away when they saw him, as he maneuvered through his living room, that he could actually see. Ha, fooled you again! Brian walked down the hall, counting his steps, but still found himself running into the wall. Too fast, he thought to himself. Have to slow down and count right. Backtracking, he wound up in the living room, sat in the chair by his answering machine, and replayed the messages. He had learned not to rush to the phone, after banging his knees and shins countless times on unseen furniture and having performed the wrong count. Every few hours he listened to the machine, but his messages became less and less. Well, it seems his wish was actually coming true, people were starting to forget about him and let him get on with his life. But that little voice kept needling him, asking him if that's what he really wanted. Hell if I know, he would answer back. This morning there was only one message. "Brian, it's Lindsay. Just a reminder that I'm bringing Melanie -- you know, Dr. Markus -- out to meet you. Be there." That last part of the message was very demanding. Where the hell am I going, queried Brian to himself. It's not like I can up and drive myself anywhere. He could hear the undertone of admonishment also in her voice. Underneath it all she was saying please don't be your usual asshole self. He really didn't want to see Lindsay today, or her new love interest. Did he actually think "see"? Shit. With every visit he could feel the pity radiating off of Lindsay, and anyone else who wanted to make the two to three hour trip to Raystown Lake. Not that Marklesburg wasn't a nice little town, but it had absolutely nothing to offer anybody, unless you were camping at the lake or visiting family or friends. Well, he had stopped being a friend to almost everybody he knew, so there was no need for anyone to visit him. And God knew his family was cut out of his life. He sure as hell didn't want or need their pity. He was doing fine all by himself, God damn it. ----------------------------------------- When Lindsay left Pittsburgh the weather was sunny and beautiful, but now as they got closer to Marklesburg it was turning progessively cloudy. As she looked around, she saw how the spring rains and winter runoff had turned the countryside a bright green, and dreaded making the trips out here in the summer, remembering the humid and damp air. But at least at the lake there was always a reprieve, if not a quick swim. Lindsay still marveled that Brian had chosen to live at the lake. After the accident he had given up everything to live in seclusion, shunning most of the family and friends that he did have -- not that it was that many. A man who fucked somebody different almost everyday didn't accumulate many lasting relationships, not that he ever wanted any to begin with. "Couldn't he have picked someplace closer to civilization?" Melanie asked. "Well, Mel, that was the point." "Does he every come into town or back to Pittsburgh?" "If I force him." "What the hell does he do out here, anyway?" For that question Lindsay had no answer. She often thought of that herself. What the hell does he do. After he sold his advertising firm, he really had no need to find something to do. He had so many investments, that just living off of the interest was enough for him. But hearing the condemnation in Mel's voice, Lindsay suddenly felt defensive for Brian. "What the hell would he do in Pittsburgh?" "Well, he would be closer to things, places." "What things exactly, Mel? He's hardly got any friends left, except for me. It would just remind him of everything he has lost." Mel, sensing Lindsay's aggravation, decided to just bring things to a peaceable end. "I'm sorry," was all she could think to say. "Me, too," Lindsay said as she turned her head to smile at Melanie. "How does he get along out here, anyway?" "I have a woman who comes in once a week to clean for him. Besides, I've made friends with the neighbor, a Justin Taylor. He keeps an eye on him." "Brian must love that." "He doesn't know." They continued on with light conversation as they drove through the town. Melanie was wondering why they weren't stopping in the town as Lindsay drove straight through. "You mean he doesn't even live in the town?" "No. He lives on the lake." With that statement, Melanie knew her job was going to be a difficult one. This was going to be one tough son-of-a-bitch to reach out to to convince him to take part in her medical trial. Sensing Mel's thoughts, Lindsay finally said, "He's going to be difficult." "Well, I hope that will change when he hears what I've got to say." "Don't count on it. Brian has always looked on the dark side of things. Just be prepared." "I think you might be underestimating him. When he hears what I have to say, no one in his right mind would turn it down." "Whoever said Brian was in his right mind?" "Well, let me try anyway." ---------------------------------------- Brain cocked his head as he heard the car pull up in the driveway. By the rumble of the muffler and the squeal of the brakes, he new it was Lindsay's old Volvo. The doctors continuously told him that it was an old wive's tale that your other senses became more acute when you were blind, but he wondered if they were wrong, or was it simply that he now paid more attention to his other senses now that he couldn't see. It was so pathetic really, nature compensating for other senses once one was lost. If he had his sight, he wouldn't need to listen so carefully. Brian turned his head back to the water, picturing in his mind what it looked like. That was the curse of being born with sight and then suddenly losing it; knowing what things must look like, and not really being able to see it. He could hear Lindsay calling out to him in the cabin, but decided to ignore her. Finally he heard two sets of feet as they headed down the path toward the lake. "I thought I'd find you down here," she cheerfully said, placing a quick kiss on his cheek. Brian was startled, not realizing that she had gotten that close. "I brought someone to meet you." "Hi, Brian. My name is Melanie Markus." "I told you about Melanie." Brian could feel a strange hand shaking his, knowing it was Melanie's, but refused to shake back, letting it stay limp in her hand. "Did you?" Brian sarcastically replied back. "Yes. I told you a few times." "Bad memory, I guess. Not only are the eyes gone, but now the mind is slipping." "It's nice to finally meet you, Brian." "Really? We'll see about that. Did Lindsay tell you I've been the perfect friend?" "Just a few times." "What the hell do you want?" Brian was becoming increasingly irritated with the banals of this go-nowhere conversation. Melanie paused, looking to Lindsay for support. "I've got a proposition for you." Brian smirked and said, "I don't know if Linds told you, but I don't swing that way." Melanie was quiet for a second as she tried to gather her thoughts and reign in her anger. "I don't pity you, if that's what you're thinking." "I really don't give a flying fuck what you think." "I really don't know what Lindsay has told you, so I'll take it from the top. I work for a technological think tank called Digital Iris. We're working on digital imaging systems, primarily for the Department of Defense and some law enforcement agencies. We do a lot of reasearch and development. "Well, Doc, I've never heard of it or you." Lindsay heaved a heavy sigh and shouted out, "Brian, please just shut up and listen." "We've been working a lot with the optic nerve over the last few years. One of our projects involves linking the optic nerve and visual cortex to imaging devices." "Are you talking about eye transplants?" Brian asked. "That can't be done quite yet. Besides, I've looked at your records, and your optic nerve was severely damaged." "Well, well, well, doesn't Lindsay just like to talk." "She showed me your records." "Well, shit, Linds, thanks a whole hell of a lot for respecting my privacy." As Melanie turned to Lindsay, she gave her a small smile. "Let me talk to him alone, okay, babe?" All Lindsay could do was shake her head slightly and walk back up the path to the cabin.' "Why are you so hard on her, Brian?" "I'm hard on everybody, when I'm not just hard." Brian was really hoping that last statement would just set her off and get her the fuck out of his face. "She said you had become bitter and depressed." "Maybe you should just the hell go and get out of here." "Maybe I don't care what you want. I'm going to say what I came to say. Quite frankly, I don't give a fuck about your feelings or how I might hurt them." Brian turned his face back to the lake, knowing this was futile. This was one dyke that wasn't going to put with his bullshit. "I'm in a position to offer you something beneficial here, Brian." "To whom is it beneficial? You or me?" "We've developed a procedure that just might restore your sight."' "Been running short of lab rats, Doc?" "We've done the procedure five times, with varying degrees of success. Please let me tell you about it." "Do I really have a choice?" "You have no eyes, Brian, and severely damaged optic nerves. There really is nothing we can do about that, but there is a way for you to see through another's eyes." "And who would that be?" "A dog's. Now, don't laugh at this. Seeing eye dogs have been around for decades, but we have some new technology that might enable you to see through a link-up in your visual cortex. The dog will see for you." "Linds never said you had a sideline writing sciene fiction, Doc." "I already told you we've done the procedure five times." "It's illegal to do human experiments." "Clinical trials with volunteers are a part of medical research. I'm asking you to be a volunteer." "Why me?" "Because you are a part of Lindsay's life." "I'm not interested in some false promises." "I know you didn't ask to be blinded, Brian, but it happened. I know you don't want to rely on anyone, especially Lindsay. I also know that you weren't this much of a bone-headed asshole before. Take this opportunity. What can it hurt?" "What do you know of how I was before? Just leave me the fuck alone." "Take a week and think about it." "Are you deaf? I said leave me the fuck alone. Get the hell out of here." "It was nice to meet you, Brian." "Oh, I'm sure it was just ducky." Brian could hear Dr. Markus as she trudged back up the trail, but he also heard the sounds of another set of feet coming back down. Shit, now Lindsay would have her say, too. "You know, Brian, it was a three hour drive here today. You could have at least listened to her." "If you recall, I did listen. It's a three hour drive back, so have a nice trip. You might get home before dark." "Brian . . ." "Listen, Linds, I am not some lab rat to be poked and prodded. And I hate dogs. Did I ever tell you that I hate dogs?" Brian listened for anything, but there was silence. Then he heard her start to sob. After another few minutes, all was quiet again. "It looks like rain. Let me take you back to the cabin." "You've been the ever-dutiful friend. Thanks for the visit. Now get the hell out of here!" He could hear Lindsay running up the path, and then he heard the angry muffled voices. Finally he heard the car doors slam, and the Volvo rumbling off down the drive. Now he was truly alone. He faced back to the lake, feeling the wind on his face. I'm not going to give into false hope, he kept saying to himself. Darkness is all I have now, and darkness will be all I will have.