Brian sat bolt upright in bed. He wasn't exactly sure what had awakened him then he heard what sounded like crying. John. He thought and got up and hurried groggily to John's make shift bedroom. When he got there, John was sitting up in bed rocking back and forth. Brian walked up to his bed slowly. Brian knew that to startled the boy would be very bad. It had been about two weeks since John had come home from the hospital and he had been plagued by nightmares most of the time. "John?" He said softly. John jumped from fright anyway. "It's just me, Uncle Brian." John nodded. "Bad?" John nodded again. "Want to talk about it?" "It was kinda garbled." John said. "But, it was like I was seeing the crash from outside the car. In slow motion." He shuddered. "Your counselor said this would happen." Brian said. "It's a form of post traumatic stress disorder." John nodded. "Still scary though, huh?" "Yeah." John breathed. "You know, what's really bad, Uncle Bri?" Brian shook his head as he sat down on the side of the bed. "Mom and Grand and Danny have only been dead for a couple of weeks, but sometimes it seems like forever. Sometimes I can't even remember what they looked like." John frowned. "Then other times it feels like it just happened yesterday and all I can see is how they looked at the accident. You know?" "Yeah, I know." Brian said nodding. "You want me to stick around `til you fall asleep?" "Could we just talk awhile?" John asked timidly. "I know I'll fall back asleep soon if I can just talk for a little bit." "Sure, Bud." Brian said. "What do you want to talk about?" "If you love Justin and all, how come Justin doesn't live here with you?" John asked. Brian snorted. "Let's try another topic." "No, seriously." John asked looking up at his Uncle with sincere curiosity in his eyes. "Well, John, you see -." Brian said looking for the words to explain his `relationship' with Justin. "Justin and I were together for a while then Justin decided he needed more than I could give him. So, he found someone else and moved out of here. Moved out of my life really." Brian sighed. "I miss him. A lot. But, I'm just too damned stubborn to admit it. Not even to myself. I've seen him on the street with his new boyfriend, then I saw him wearing a ring at the diner. Figured my days with him were over never to return." John sat staring at Brian intently. "So, anyway. When my boss came into my office and told me about the accident, I knew there was only one person I could call." Brian stopped suddenly before continuing. "I usually call Mikey at times like that, but not this time. This time I needed Justin. And, so, he's the one I called." "Why?" John asked startling Brian out of his own thoughts. "Because I didn't need a `best friend'." Brian explained. "I needed more. I needed someone who could help me shoulder the burden." "Me?" "No." Brian smiled. "You are not a burden." John rolled his eyes. "I needed someone who could stand beside me and even prop me up if need be. Justin's the only one I could think of that could ever be strong enough to help me through this." "Why not Michael?" "Because I didn't want to have to think about anything else but you guys." Brian explained. "Mikey always makes a big deal about being my `best friend', but he can't always help me the way I needed to be helped that day." John yawned. "Kinda confusing, huh?" "Not really." John said. "It's kinda like when Danny and I would go to Grand for attention when we fell down or something. See, mom would drag out the stinging medicine stuff and make a big fuss, and drive us crazy." Brian smiled knowing how overbearing his sister could be. "But, Grand would just look at it the cut or scrape or whatever, kiss us on the forehead, and tell us to go back outside and play." John yawned again. "She didn't make such a big deal out of it, you know?" "Yeah." Brian said. "I know." John yawned once again. "Think you can get back to sleep now?" "Sure." He said. "`Night Uncle Bri." "`Night John." Brian said on his way back to bed. He turned around to see than John had already drifted off again. -- Once back in his bedroom, Brian thought about what John had said. Out of the mouths of babes. Brian thought. Brian didn't truly know what he was to Justin anymore. He wasn't sure what Justin was to him. Before he even thought about it, he called Justin cell phone number. He let it ring a couple of times before hanging up. He put the phone in the bedside table then turned off the light. He was just about to settle in for the night when the phone rang. "Why'd you just call and hang up?" Justin asked groggily. "Is something wrong? Is John all right?" "John's fine." Brian said trying to calm Justin down. "How'd you know it was me?" "Caller ID." Justin said. "It's an amazing thing." "John had a bad dream, I went in to calm him down and we had an interesting conversation." Brian explained. "About what?" "About us." "You and John?" "No, me and you." "Really?" "Uh-huh." "What'd he say?" "He asked me why you didn't live with me even though I love you." Brian smirked. "I tried to tell him that you have someone else, but -." "No I don't." "What happened to the fiddler?" "It didn't work out." "Oh?" "It's a long story." Justin said. "And, it revolves around me being at the hospital with you instead of going with him to Harrisburg and him screwing his very first groupie." "What?" "I told you it's a long complicated story." "He fucked around on you?" Brian said incredulously. "Something like that." "And you kicked him to the curb?" "Something like that." "Did you break his widdle heart?" "I think so, yeah." Justin said sadly making Brian feel sorry for his sarcasm. "I'm sorry." Brian said sincerely. "Thought you said sorry was bullshit." "I've changed my mind." Brian said. "So, if you aren't with the fiddler anymore, then where are you staying?" "Daphne's." Justin said. "Justin -." Brian hesitated. "I'd like to talk to you if I can." "Then talk." "No, I mean, really talk." Brian knew how much of himself he was revealing but he couldn't stop now. "I want to discuss us." "There is no us, Brian." "That's what I'd like to discuss." "What are you saying?" "I want to talk to you Justin." Brian said. "But, not over the phone. "When?" "After your classes tomorrow." Brian offered. "It's your short day, right?" "Yeah. I get out at 1:30. I could meet you at 2:00." Justin confirmed. "Where?" "The loft." "I don't know about that." Justin said suspiciously. "John'll be home from school by 2:30. What could happen?" "A lot in a half an hour." "I'll be on my best behavior." Brian said. "I promise." "Okay." Justin agreed. "But no funny stuff." "I said I promise." "Okay. See you tomorrow then." "Later." "Later." End Chapter 7.