AN: Thanks to Wethie for being my beta on this, especially for your help with the sex scene. But really — why can’t Brian have 3 arms? *wink* Thanks to Marsha for setting the stage for the sex scene. Again — this is all in Brian’s POV. 




Last night at the hospital was incredible. It’s amazing how easily the truth came out once I started talking. Another fucking miracle is that Justin accepted the truth. Maybe trying to hide my feelings all this time has been a mistake. Nah fuck that. I don’t make mistakes. He probably couldn’t have handled the truth earlier. Okay, so he probably could have. I guess I couldn’t.

I left the hospital an hour ago. I needed to come home and change my clothes. Why I just didn’t take a change of clothes with me to the hospital I don’t know. Justin laughed at me when I told him why I had to leave. Fucker. He said it was probably for the best though. He wanted to talk to Jennifer about his new living arrangements while I was gone. I wonder what that’s about. Why should she have a problem with it? He’s 18. And he lived with me once before.

Pulling into the hospital parking lot I begin to feel a sense of dread for some reason. I get the feeling Justin needs support. And that realization has me wanting to run to the nearest cliff and jump off. But I don’t. Apparently of their own free will my feet walk me towards the front door and closer to Justin’s room.

As I near Justin’s room I understand the feeling I had in the parking lot. You can hear Jennifer and Justin hollering down the hall. Why are my feet still moving forward? Damn it feet run! Run away!

I pause at the doorway. Neither mother nor son notices me. I’ll just bide my time until they do.

“Justin! You are getting out of the hospital. You could have died. You need to be at home.”

“I will be at home. At home with Brian.”

“Justin do you think he is going to take care of you?” How dare she question whether or not I am going to take care of him. I almost barge into the room when I hear Justin speak. What he says blows me away. He speaks so quietly that I can just make out what he is saying.

“It’s not about taking care of me mother. It’s about taking care of each other. Brian has been here at night when I wake up from nightmares. He has held me and calmed me. He was there holding me while I bleed on the pavement that night. But before last week, I was there for him. I took care of him whether he knew it or not. I helped him when he had problems with Michael, when he almost lost his job, hell I helped him name his son the night we met. It’s never been about him taking care of me. I can take care of myself. It’s about us taking care of each other. Supporting each other. Loving each….” He stopped talking. Why did he stop talking?

I look up and realize that Justin finally saw me standing there listening. He walks over to me, and kisses away a tear on my cheek I hadn’t realized was there. Fuck now I cry because of sappy sentiments. Lesbian life here I come.

With his arm around me he says “Mom. I’m going to live with Brian whether you accept it or not.” I smile probably bigger than I ever have. I am so proud of him right now.

“What happens if you forget to set the alarm again? Will he just kick you out onto the street again?” What like Craig did? Bitch.

“Trust me Mom. I won’t make that mistake again. I’m sure we’ll both make mistakes, but this is something we have to try.”

“But honey….” Oh lord here it comes.

“No buts mom. This is what we both want. Besides its either move in with Brian or move out on my own. I can’t live with you or Deb anymore. I know you think I need a mother right now, and I do. But I don’t need mothering.” Wow, how did I fail to notice the balls of steel this kid has?

Jennifer looks at us and smiles. She’s smiling? What the fuck I thought she was pissed.

“Honey, I just want you to be happy. And it’s obvious you are. So just let me know what you need, if anything and I will help.” Damn I will never understand women and their mood swings. 

We spent the past two days getting Justin moved into the loft. Who knew the kid would have so much crap! 

Jennifer left around lunch time. All that‘s left is to finish unpacking, and wait for the delivery guy with our dinner. That’s when awkwardness hits me. Why in the fuck are things awkward? We’ve lived together before. We’ve fucked before. Yet somehow tonight seems different. I can see it in his eyes, and I can feel it in my gut. Tonight is different.

“Justin…” I sigh….what do I say to make this easier? Ding dong — saved by the bell! After I pay the delivery man I watch him walk away. I keep thinking no stay! We need another person here as a buffer!

We eat in virtual silence and I am beginning to wonder if this was a good idea. Can we handle this? He keeps looking at me and looking away quickly when I look up. Does he think I don’t notice every thing he does?

He clears away the food and goes to sit on the couch. I hate to resort to old vices — but I will anyway. I think what we need is a little liquid courage.

I get up to get us both a beer. Why is the fucking beer on the bottom shelf and all the way in the back? Damn Jennifer. I have to bend over to get them. I look under my arm that is holding open the refrigerator door, yep Justin is watching and licking his lips, almost unconsciously, he doesn’t even realizing he’s doing it. Maybe things aren’t as bad as I thought. 

I walk with the beer over to the couch and sit down. Opening up one I hand it to Justin and look at him. No words. Just a look that asks — are you good with this, with being here?

He looks at me. Takes a gulp swallows and stands up. My heart is pounding I am so afraid he is going to bolt. But he turns and walks towards the bedroom.

Putting down my beer, still unopened, I follow behind him. Knowing that tonight is different from all the times that came before and it will forever change things. I also know that I am finally ready for this. To truly make love to him. Openly and freely. No hiding, no pretending.

He is standing with his back to me, staring at the bed. I walk up next to him, standing only slightly behind him. Slowly I run my hand from his lower back up his body until I entangle it in his soft hair, palming the back of his head. We stand there for a few moments, me massaging his head and him slowly relaxing. 

He turns around and wraps his arms around my waist. He starts to kiss my neck paying close attention to my adams apple, knowing somehow like he has always known, that doing that drives me insane with lust and something new. Love.

He slowly backs me up until I am forced to sit on the bed. I hadn’t expected him to take control tonight. He seemed so fragile only moments ago. He backs away and again I feel the fear course through my body. I smile slowly when he begins to remove his clothing. He is taking his time and being seductive about it. I grin at him like a fool in love.

Before long he is standing in front of me completely naked. He looks at me with all the trust in the world and silently asks — are you okay with me being here? 

I reach out and pull him towards me.

My kisses start at his hipbone and I slowly work my way up, standing up as I go, and around to the front of his torso and farther up to his nipples. I bathe the right one with my tongue, briefly thinking about the nipple ring the hospital had to remove. Gentle tugging on the nipple with my teeth until he moans, I then move onto the left and repeat the process. 

I turn us around and lay him down on the bed. Straddling him, I use just the tip of my tongue to make a trail from his chest up to his lips. Slowly sucking the lower lip into my mouth I nibble on it until he is writhing beneath me and whimpering. 

“Brian” He moans my name and I almost cum from hearing it.

I kiss him for what seems like an eternity until we are both hungry for more.

I lean back and he shivers a little from the coolness he feels at the loss of my body on top of his. 

I wish I had the patience to go slowly and tease him a little the way he did me — but I don’t. I need to be in him, to feel him beneath me again so I strip quickly. I grab a condom and the lube before stretching out above him again. 

I put the lube on two of the fingers of my right hand, and take a second to warm it up. I don’t want anything to shock him or to take that euphoric look off his face. Slowly I push one of the lubed fingers into his ass. He moans slightly but doesn’t make another sound. I push in the other finger and his body lifts off the mattress ever so slightly. I wonder briefly if he even realizes how his body begs for more. 

I take a few moments to open him up, preparing him for what’s next. It’s been a little over a week now and his body has been through a lot. I need to make this perfect for him. I need to show him I can put his needs above my own tonight. Because my cock is screaming for me to hurry. But I can’t allow it to take control. Tonight is more about the heart than it is the dick. Tomorrow we can fuck our brains out.

“Are you ready?” I don’t really need to ask, at this point I might know his body better than he does, but I ask anyway. What I really need to know is if he is ready emotionally. Because after tonight — turning back would kill me.

“Brian. Yes. Make love to me.” That’s all I needed to hear.

I quickly roll the condom down my straining cock and apply some more lube. Whoever said a little dab will do ya’ — wasn’t talking about lube or anal sex. 

I pull his legs up and drape them over my shoulders. Slowly I enter him and I am not sure which of us moaned louder. I push gently until I am buried in him completely and my balls hit his ass. He groans and it is like magic to my ears. 

I start a leisurely rhythm. Rocking back and forth. Pulling out so that only the head of my cock is still inside him, and then slowly sliding back inside burying myself in heaven.

Leaning forward I fold him in half, continuing to pull out and slowly sink back in, we kiss softly, lovingly.

The tension is slowly building and I reach down to play with his balls. I massage each one rolling them around until he gasps into my mouth. Loving that sound I move my hand up and begin to stroke his cock. Massaging it and pulling on it gently to match the rhythm our hips are moving in. 

I feel the muscles deep inside him begin to constrict and quiver and soon his orgasm is plunging me head first into my own. The last thing I hear before my ears start ringing is him calling my name, and me calling out his.

His legs slip down my body slowly and rest around my waist holding me tight to him. I collapse on top of him, somehow more exhausted than after one of our all night fuck fests. As our bodies relax I slide off him and lay next to him on the bed. He turns to face me and I kiss him gently. 

“I love you.” And the sun shines.