2 Weeks Later
Brian’s POV
I saw him today and by him I mean Justin. He looked good, he looked happy. Well I guess he is happy now with Ian…Ethan I mean. I think we both did the right thing. I couldn’t give him what he needed, wanted so…. I never could, so yeah I think he is better off now. As long as I see him smiling, I’m ok. But I do miss him though. I will never admit it to him off course. But I think I can afford to admit it to myself. I miss Justin. I miss his gentle touch, his soft lips, his pouting. I had to laugh at that. He did have this way of pouting that even a puppy can’t mirror. I miss his skin, I miss his ass. I miss it all. I miss him.
I remember that precise moment at the rage party. That look of his. I fucked myself over and two times that is. I don’t think I will ever forget that look in his eyes as he saw me. It was more sadness then anger. I directly pushed him into the arms of the fiddler and I don’t regret it. Not even a little bit. Yeah, it’s better this way. Me and him…No, it would’ve never worked out. I did enough thinking about Justin for one day. I stand up from my desk, grab another cup of coffee and sit back down. Now…I really need to finish these accounts.
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Justin’s POV
Two weeks has passed now. You know, since ‘the moment’. Fuck, I still call it that. Why can’t I just tell it to myself what it was, what it really was and how it made me feel… on the inside? After Ethan took me home, no back to his apartment, I got another kick in the ribs but not before I was holding my face again crawling on the floor. And that was it. It stopped. Nothing has happened since then.
I guess it’s because I stopped living. I go to school, come back here, I sleep and I am off to school again. It’s a routine.
I had to quit my job at the dinner, cause Ethan said that when Brian is there I won’t be able to focus and I will only bring myself more trouble. And I know he is right.
I’m still with Ethan as you can see. I have to love him, I have no other choice. I have to be true to him, I owe it to Ethan. In all that time, even at the end, I was with Ethan I still loved Brian more than anything…more than him. and that’s not right. I cheated more on Ethan than Ethan cheated on me.
I need to forget about Brian, ban him out of my life and move on. I need to forget about the family and get me a new one. Ethan’s family. Ethan said I will have a new one. Me and him. And he is right. I have no more business there. Deb was mad when she heard I quit my job at the diner. I think Brian’s family knew it too, cause no one stops by anymore. Michael forgot about Rage. Linds and Mel don’t say hey anymore and Emmett, well it’s been ages since I’ve seen him. It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve last seen Brian at the diner.
Until today, I had to avoid him. I had to pretend I didn’t see him and I know it worked. I just went the other way.
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”Brian, can’t you just talk to him? It’s like he changed overnight. When I go to see him, Ethan is telling me he’s not home, but for god sake I went like 350 times allready in one week. He’s got to be home at some point.” Daphne explained.
”Daphne, please, can’t you just go rant somewhere else? I have work to do.”
”Brian, stop the fucking act allready, it’s getting boring. Everybody, including you, knows you care about him, now don’t tell me you haven’t noticed a change in his lifestyle. Its been 3 weeks since we’ve seen him. Brian, I think he wants to disappear in one way or another. I know Justin and what I see now, well that’s not Justin.” Daphne finished her yelling in a softer voice.
She had to let Brian know what she felt about Justin wasn’t right for some reason. They’ve been best friends since forever. They could feel one another and what she felt right now wasn’t all great.
Brian was blown away. He allready seen this side of Daphne. When Justin left to New York. It was pure anger. But right now, there was something different, Daphne was sad and Brian had to find out why. Sure like he said, he didn’t want to interfere anymore. But hey, if Daphne wanted something the little girl could have it. Not only was she a friend of Justin, she had become a very good friend of Brian too, just because Brian loved to play with her head. Oh those crushes.
Brian was in conflict. For one, he wanted to please Daphne and make her happy, so he would have to look up Justin. And if he had to be true to himself he wondered why Justin was disappearing. He wasn’t stupid, he noticed the change too. He didn’t work in the diner anymore, didn’t go to Babylon and no one ever saw him anymore at Debby’s dinners. Something was way off. But still; a week ago the boy seemed happy. His ex lover seemed happy with his new lover. Now that was the reason why he couldn’t do as Daphne asked. He wouldn’t go, he had absolutely no more business there. None what so ever. It’s Justin’s life, maybe he was in a depression. His grades were failing, who knows.
He is a big boy now, I don’t need to take care of him in that way anymore. Ethan can take care of him. With flowers and romance and all that bullshit. In his heart Brian knew that he needed to see what was up with Justin. He may look happy but looks can be deceiving.